Chapter Text
Krishna is staring at him, his dark eyes lit up in amusement. Arjuna can’t help but tremble a little with the request he had for him.
“Subhadra. You want to marry Subhadra?”
Arjuna nodded, his expression steeled.
“Yes”
“My little sister?”
“Yes”
“You know that Balarama will slaughter me if I consent to this, right?” Krishna lifts a perfectly shaped eyebrow, incredulously.
“I understand.” Arjuna clenches his fist, thinking that Krishna would not relent. He stares into Krishna’s deep brown eyes, trying to gauge what went through the man’s mind.
“Do you truly love her so?” Krishna’s voice was soft, his even tone having an underlying amusement, as though he could read something from Arjuna that the man himself had not known.
“Yes, Keshav, a thousand times over. Give me a million feats in order to wed her, perhaps even something as difficult as going to Yamaloka and back-“
“I wouldn’t put you through that, dear…..friend”
Arjuna realised with mild surprise that Krishna had stroked his cheek. Hidden emotions, which had not seen the light of day, stirred within. Arjuna opened his mouth to say something but words couldn’t come out.
“I-I…..I love her. Completely.” He stammered.
“My duty as an older brother demands me to say no to your request. Besides, Panchaali will be right next to my brother in murdering me. Have some consideration for your friend, will you?” Krishna laughed, the sound reminding Arjuna of the peal of temple bells on a festival day.
“But Krishna-“
“Partha.” Krishna was gentle. He patted Arjuna’s broad shoulder and turned to stand by the window. Krishna’s chambers overlooked the ocean and had a perpetual scent of sea salt. The afternoon breeze combed through the man’s jet-black curls. A knowing smile played on his lips, something which unnerved Arjuna at this particular moment.
Arjuna realised that he had failed in convincing Krishna with his proposal. He bowed in acknowledgement of Krishna’s decision.
“I shall leave then. Perhaps I will start for Indraprastha on the morrow.”
As he turned to leave, Krishna stopped him. Arjuna almost gasped at Krishna’s firm grip on his wrist.
“Convince me, Partha. Convince me of your desire for her.” Krishna’s voice was gentle.
Arjuna turned to see that Krishna’s playful expression had changed to one of….was that desperation?
At that very instant, Arjuna’s mind raced with a multitude of thoughts. He always liked Krishna, as a friend, as a guide, as a-
Arjuna felt embarrassment as he buried his face into Krishna’s shoulder, their hands still in each other’s. Krishna embraced him, and Arjuna could catch the scent of the sea and parijata flowers lingering on Krishna’s beautiful dark skin.
Arjuna savoured the moment more than he thought he would. He finally let himself have the freedom to say Krishna’s name as a lover would.
“Krishna.” He whispered.
“See her in me, Partha. I hope that isn’t too arduous-“
Arjuna kissed Krishna’s neck, shaking his head. “Krishna.” He repeated.
“Subhadra, remember?” Krishna’s voice was tinged with amusement.
Arjuna stared into Krishna’s dark brown eyes, filled with a gentleness which Arjuna knew was reserved for those he truly loved. Arjuna placed his hand on Krishna’s cheek, his heart beating faster. Krishna leaned into the touch, granting him his unspoken request.
Arjuna chuckled slightly, feeling his shame for such an association vanish.
“No. Krishna.” He whispered, as he gently placed a kiss on Krishna’s perfect lips. To his surprise, Krishna took control, deepening their kiss and running his hands through Arjuna’s well kept hair.
“Took you long enough.” chuckled Krishna as they broke apart. “Even Bhadra knows you’ve been mooning after me. It was only a matter of time.”
Arjuna blushed, burying his face against Krishna’s shoulder once again. “How obvious was it?”
“Very.”
Arjuna chuckled sardonically. “I’m not great at holding back my feelings, aren’t I?”
“No, but you’re terrible at expressing them too.” Krishna pulled back, his arms on Arjuna’s shoulders. “Arjuna, I only ask one thing of you.” Krishna sounded serious.
“Anything, Keshav.”
“Let yourself go around me. Be who you want to be, and I will accept you as you are. To the world, you are a dhanurdhari, a warrior and a red blooded kshatriya. But to me…” Krishna tenderly touched Arjuna’s cheek. Arjuna was moved. His eyes stung with tears and he felt his heart swell with emotion.
“Be yourself. As a lover would. Be the tender man only few have seen.” Krishna’s voice was soft as he traced Arjuna’s cheek. Arjuna grasped Krishna’s hand and kissed it, a tears unwittingly slipping out of his eyes as he closed them to relish the waves of emotion that washed over him.
Contentment. This was true contentment. Arjuna knew of love, but without contentment. The contentment of being in the company of a person who just knew. Never in his life had Arjuna savoured moments the way he savoured his time with Krishna, despite having met him only at Draupadi’s swayamvar at Panchal. Something about the way the man carried himself drew Arjuna to him. Krishna charmed all those around him, and Arjuna realised that he had been unwittingly charmed the most. But most importantly, Arjuna finally felt the need to escape from the view society had of him. He finally could let the mask of being ‘ideal’ fall. Arjuna briefly wondered if it was Krishna’s very presence that made him feel so, or if everyone else felt it too.
“I can only try.” Arjuna promised, choking out a sob.
Krishna patted his cheek one more time, his eyes full of compassion. “Good man.” He chuckled.
Arjuna leaned into Krishna’s shoulder once again, the gesture calming his anxious thoughts. Krishna continued to stroke his hair, whispering soft reassurances. Arjuna wanted to remain in Krishna’s embrace forever, never to face the cruel world and its judgement.
“Lady Subhadra is at the entrance, my Lord.” Came the voice of a guard, who luckily didn’t chance upon the incredibly intimate moment his master and his “friend’ were having.
Arjuna was startled. He leapt away from Krishna, thinking that they would be seen. Krishna’s grip on his forearm was strong, however, keeping him rooted in place.
“Inform her to wait a while.” Krishna said. “Her brother is an incredibly messy man, and he does not intend she see his messes.” He added, chuckling a little.
“But you shouldn’t-“ Arjuna insisted, but was cut off by Krishna’s long finger on his lips.
“Oh, she’ll wait. Meanhwhile…” Krishna leaned in for a quick, passionate kiss. This time, Arjuna was less hesitant to give it back to Krishna. Krishna’s eyes widened in surprise, as he gave an audible moan of pleasure. The two broke apart as quickly as they started, with Krishna chuckling.
“So, the ladies do give you the credit you deserve. My, am I lucky to be one to experience it.” Krishna said, a hint of flirtation in his voice.
Arjuna smiled. “Well, all you needed to do is ask.”
“With your level of emotional repression, I would have needed to be Mohini herself to get that.” scoffed Krishna.
Arjuna shook his head, chuckling to himself. He turned to leave Krishna’s chambers, not wanting to disturb the siblings.
As he exited to the halls of the palace, he passed a surprised looking Subhadra. He briefly bowed to her in acknowledgement and quickly paced the halls to his own chambers.