Chapter Text
"I'm in love!" Riley said. Her hands were stretched in the air and she spun around in a circle until she collapsed onto the bay window bench.
"How's that Riles?" Maya asked with an amused smile on her face. She sat next to her best friend on the bench.
"We talked Maya! Lucas Friar and I talked on a bench just like this one! I'm in love and we'll be together forever!" Riley stretched her lanky body across the bench and across Maya's lap as well.
"It was last year." Maya said. She held up the calendar with the large red circle marking the first day of sophomore year.
"What?" Riley asked in a dreamy voice.
"The ski trip was a year ago and you haven't done anything since." Maya was saying it half to Riley and half to herself as well. The trip was last year and she hadn't done much with Riley's uncle Josh since then either.
"We do stuff!"
"Of course you do. You go to the movies wit me, Zay, Farkle, and Smackle. You go on double dates with Farkle and Smakle. The two of you hang out with your parents every other week."
"Is that bad?" Riley's voice got less dreamy. She sat up and pulled her arms down to her sides.
"It's...... different. Most high school couples want to be alone together. You and Lucas like being with other people. It's sweet. It's wholesome. It's very Riley and Lucas." Maya stroked Riley's hair and spoke in a baby voice. Riley stood up with a pout.
"I want to date! I'm a teenager too Maya!" Riley stomped her foot.
"You should tell Lucas not me." Maya said.
"I will!" Riley stomped out of the room. She then immediately returned to the room because it was midnight and her mom wouldn't let her go to Lucas's house.
——————————————————————
Maya was thinking about Josh still. Unlike Riley and Lucas who saw each other every day, Maya rarely saw Josh. He was in college and only came around on special occasions or when he was invited over by....
"Matthews!" Maya yelled.
"Yes Maya?" Mr. Matthews asked from the chalk board. Maya looked around at the other kids staring at her from their desks. She was at school. When did she get here?
"Maya do you have the answer to my question?" Mr. Matthews asked.
"Fourteen." Maya stated confidently.
"This is History class." Mr. Matthews reminded her.
"I stand by my answer." Maya replied. The bell rang for lunch and everyone but Maya scrambled out of their seats.
"C'mon Maya it's lunchtime." Riley said.
"Go on without me. You want to be alone with Lucas don't you?" Maya pointed out. Riley perked up as she remembered her boyfriend.
She grabbed Lucas by the arm and pulled him away from the group of people he was talking to.
"Huh? What's going on?" Lucas asked.
"Alone time!" Riley yelled. With Riley and everyone else gone Maya sat on Mr. Matthews's desk.
“Can I help you with something, Maya?” Mr. Matthews asked. Maya smiled devilishly.
“Oh so many things Matthews. The homecoming dance is coming up.” Maya said
“I know! The big game, the dance, all the school spirit; homecoming season is great!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah I get it you live at school. I have a proposition for you. It’s some thing that’s gonna affect us for the rest of my life.”
“What is it?”
“I want you to help me date your brother.”
“Aah!” Cory screamed. “But you’re so young and Eric is so….”
“Not the older one! The younger one.”
“I can’t make Josh date you, Maya.”
“All I need is for you to give him a reason to come to town, like having him chaperone the homecoming dance.”
“I can’t just make Josh a chaperone. He isn’t a teacher or a parent.”
“You made him a chaperone for the ski trip.” Maya crossed her arms.
“I didn’t do that. Topanga did that. It was TOPANGA.”
“Then ask her to do it again.”
“Aah!” Cory screamed again. Maya leaned forward aggressively and Cory shrank away from her.
“I can’t go around asking my wife for favors on your behalf. I need to save my favors for when I mess up. Now go to lunch!” Cory ordered. Maya huffed and jumped off the desk.
———————————————————
In the lunchroom Maya was immediately confronted by Farkle and Smackle.
“Where is everyone? Aren’t we best friends. Best friends eat lunch together. Has sophomore year created a new variable in our friendship algorithm?” Smackle asked.
“What Smackle means is, is everything okay? Zay was the only one at lunch with us and he spent the whole time on the phone with Vanessa.”
“I was busy in an important meeting. Riley and Lucas are getting some much needed alone time. Don’t the two of you feel like being alone sometimes?” Maya replied.
“Date night is for alone time. Lunchtime is friend time!” Smackle began to raise her voice.
“Riley and Lucas aren’t as experienced in their relationship as we are. They need to learn how to have their own alone time. We understand that don’t we Smackle?” Farkle looked at Smackle hopefully.
“I guess so.” Smackle grumbled. “But next time I expect to be preemptively informed of such changes to our daily routine.”
“Okay.” Maya said. Smackle smiled brightly.
“You are forgiven.” Smackle said. She gave Maya a robotic hug.
“I didn’t apologize.” Maya said but Smackle and Farkle were already gone. Maya looked around the lunchroom for Riley but didn’t see her. She must be taking the “alone time” thing very seriously. After getting some fries from the lunch line, Maya sat at the table with Zay and ate silently. A clap of thunder sounded outside causing Maya to flinch. Then she saw a shocking sight in the doorway. It was Riley dripping wet. Riley walked over to Maya, sniffling as she did so.
“Oh sweetie did you get caught in the rain?” Maya asked, patting her friend’s hair with a napkin. Riley shook her head.
“What happened then?” Maya asked.
“I wa ta be lun wih luha buh duh ohwee” Riley’s sobs masked her words.
“Slow down a little.” Maya said.
“I………… wanted…………… to………….. Be……….. Alone………… with ………… Lucas………..”
“Okay speed it up.”
“I wanted to be alone with Lucas but the only place we could find with absolutely no other people was the back of the lunchroom under the windows.” Riley took a deep breath. “There’s a reason no one goes there, Maya. It’s where the lunch lady throws out dirty dishwater.” Riley shivered. Maya stopped patting her and contemplated running away to wash her hands for an hour. But Maya couldn’t do that to her best friend. No one should do that to Riley which made Maya angrily wonder where Lucas was. Just then Lucas ran into the room carrying an armful of towels.
“Hey Vanessa you wanna see something really funny? I’m gonna send you a pic.” Zay said. He held up the phone toward Riley.
“Take that picture and die.” Maya said. Zay lowered the phone.
“Nevermind.” Zay said to Vanessa.
Maya looked at Lucas who stood as majestic and handsome as ever. She snatched a towel from him and began to dry Riley’s hair.
“Why aren’t you wet Ranger Rick?” Maya asked Lucas. Lucas pulled at the bottom of his shirt and twisted. Enough water dripped from his shirt to drown a large rat. The puddle that was created on the ground was a disconcerting brown color. Maya had to hold back a gag.
“New question. How can you look so good even when wet?” Maya asked. Lucas grew wide-eyed.
“Hey!” Riley exclaimed.
“Don’t worry. I don’t like him anymore. I’m just making an observation.” Maya, Riley, and Lucas had just gotten out of a crazy love triangle and Maya wasn’t trying to fall back into it. Lucas took another towel and wrapped it around Riley like a dress. The bell rang and Maya looked forlornly at the fries. She had only gotten to eat a couple of them.
——————————————————
Maya sat on Riley’s bed, handing her tissue after tissue as her friend sneezed. A couple of towels hadn’t kept the bean pole of a girl from catching a cold.
“Being alone is hard.” Riley complained as she blew her nose.
“You’re taking this alone thing super seriously. Why did you want to be absolutely alone without other people around? That’s overkill Riles.” Maya said.
“I had to. Everywhere we went someone tried to talk to Lucas. Since he joined the football team he has become too popular.” Riley said. Maya had noticed this. Lucas was only the second string quarterback but people were always greeting him in the hallway. His southern charm didn’t help. A football playing cowboy was irresistible to some people. Maya’s phone buzzed and she looked at the screen eagerly. Her balloon of hope deflated as she saw that it wasn’t Josh but her dad who had texted her.
I’m at the front door. The text read. Maya got up from the bed.
“Gotta go.” Maya said. Riley nodded solemnly as she blew her nose again.
Maya entered the front room just as the doorbell rang. Cory ran past her to the door.
“Shawn’s here!” Cory exclaimed with pure joy. He opened the door and hugged without looking. He missed Sean, who had bent down to tie his shoe, and fell into the hallway. Sean stood and entered the apartment.
“Ready to go?” Sean asked. Cory had recovered from his fall. He ran back in and gave Sean a hug from behind.
“Shawnie! Stay a while. Have a drink. Want a sandwich? Let me make you a sandwich.” Cory said eagerly.
“Not this time Cor. Katy told me to come right back.” Shawn said.
“Wives always ruin the fun.” Cory said.
“What did you say?” Topanga asked. Cory screamed. He hadn’t noticed his wife sitting on the couch.
“We should go before this gets ugly.” Maya said.
“Yep.” Shawn said. He threw his arm over Maya’s shoulder and they left.
As they walked, a devious scheme was forming in Maya’s mind. It was risky. The plan involved emotional blackmail, perfectly worded texts, and a human guinea pig. Maya was the only one sneaky enough to get it done.
When she got to her room, Maya started on phase one of her plan. She was going to send Josh the perfect text. She wanted something that said Hello Josh it is I, Maya, the girl you will one day marry. She ended up typing Hi ~. The wavy line was the cherry on top. Maya thought it insinuated something flirty. She was stricken with panic as her thumb hovered over the send button. This text had to be absolutely perfect. She decided to test it out on her guy friends first.
Hi~ Maya texted to Lucas, Zay, and Farkle. Zay texted back first with Hey~. Then there was a long period of nothing. No one else was replying. A bunch of texts then came one after another. They were all from Lucas.
What?
Why?
What’s happening?
Why did you send me that?
Maya laughed out loud at Lucas’s texts. Farkle was the last to respond. Maya was shocked by this. She had expected Farkle to quickly reply with something like I Love You. He was always saying things like that. Instead, hours went by with nothing from Farkle. Then Maya’s phone rang. It was Farkle.
“Hello?” Maya answered in a singsong voice.
“Hello Maya this is your platonic friend Farkle Minkus. I have received a concerning text message from you. What is the intended purpose of this text message? I understand the word Hi but what is the meaning of the tilde after it? Please inform me of the meaning behind this so that I may respond appropriately.” Farkle said.
“Farkle, did Smackle tell you to say that?” Maya asked.
“Yes.” Farkle replied.
“Are you with her now?”
“Yes.”
“Put me on speaker.” Maya ordered.
“Ok.” Farkle said. “You’re on speaker now.”
“Listen up. I sent that text to test it out. I need to text someone very important and I need to see what kind of response I may get. I sent the text to Zay and Lucas also. It’s like….research.” Maya said loudly.
“Research is important.” Smackle said.
“Good. So now the important question. Farkle, what was your first response to my text?” Maya asked.
“I love you!” Farkle answered excitedly. Then the phone call disconnected. Maya had gotten three very different reactions from the three boys in her life. None of the responses had disappointed. This was the perfect text to send to Josh. Maya opened her text chat with Josh and pressed send.
————————————————————————
At school the next day Maya stared at her phone as she leaned against her locker. She hadn’t gotten a response from Josh all night. Was this how the long game was played, she texted him and then waited a looooooooong time for his reply? She wanted to ask Riley about it but she was unsure. Riley was avidly against Maya becoming her aunt. It was fine and funny when Maya had no chance with Josh. But Josh had agreed to the long game and since then Maya had felt uncomfortable bringing it up. Riley was home sick today so Maya didn’t need to worry about dodging the topic today. She knew, however, that she would have to talk to her best friend eventually.
“What was that text about last night?” Zay asked out of nowhere. Maya looked up and saw her friend pouting in front of her.
“That’s what I want to know!” Lucas chimed in. Maya was shocked when she saw him to her right.
“I’m part of this too!” Farkle happily yelled from her left side. He was smiling widely. Maya was trapped between the three of them. Well, not exactly trapped.
“Move, move, move!” Maya said in all three directions. The boys each took a large step back. Maya began to walk to her left and Farkle ran to hide behind Lucas.
“After I replied to your text I told Vanessa about it. She didn’t like it, not one bit. She said it was too flirty. Now I’m in trouble.” Zay complained as he followed Maya.
“I didn’t tell Riley about it. We just got done with the triangle. Why would you do something like- Hold on! Did you send the text to both of us?” Lucas asked.
“I got it too!” Farkle interjected. Maya stopped walking and sat on the steps outside of Mr. Matthews’s classroom.
“I thought Farkle would have told you the deal by now.” Maya said.
“I didn’t want to interfere with the integrity of your experiment by tampering with your subjects.” Farkle said.
“Experiment? What experiment?” Lucas asked.
“I wanted to see how the three of you would react to that text before I sent it to someone important.” Maya said.
“So we were just lab rats?” Zay asked with his arms crossed.
“You’re more than lab rats.” Maya said. “Golden retriever.” She pointed at Lucas. “Parakeet.” She said to Farkle. “Bunny Rabbit.” She looked at Zay.
The bell rang and the four of them entered history class where Smackle was already waiting. For an hour Mr. Matthews taught about some war. Maya wasn’t really paying attention. Toward the end of class she raised her hand.
“Yes Maya?” Mr. Matthews asked.
“I need detention.” Maya said.
“I can’t give you detention without a reason.” Mr. Matthews said.
“Ok.” Maya said. She picked up her textbook and turned around to Lucas’s desk.
“What are you doing?” Mr. Matthews asked.
“Stay still.” Maya said to Lucas.
“What are you doing?” Lucas asked. His hands were on his desk, tightened into worried fists.
“Sorry Bucky.” Maya whispered. She dropped the book and it hit with a thud on Lucas’s right hand.
“AAAHHHH” The entire class screamed. Lucas was the loudest.
“That’s his throwing hand!” Zay exclaimed. Glares were aimed at Maya.
“If you don’t give me detention, I may get beat up after school.” Maya said.
“You’ve got detention Ms. Hunter.” Mr. Matthews said with a large sigh.
Maya spent the rest of the day dodging evil glares. Lucas wasn’t even that hurt. She dropped the book from maybe five inches above his hand. After the initial soreness he was fine. Lucas even told everyone he was fine. But the rest of the school couldn’t get over it. It seemed like the thing they were really upset about was that she had the audacity to drop the book on him, not that he was hurt. Maya didn’t get the obsession. Lucas was only second string after all. Nevertheless she was grateful for detention by the end of the day. Luckily she was the only one in detention today.
“I have a sick kid at home. It would have been nice to go home and check on her.” Mr. Matthews said as soon as Maya walked into detention.
“I’ve been texting Riley all day. She’s fine. Right now she’s eating ice cream.” Maya said. She showed Cory her phone. On the screen was a picture of Riley smiling with a bowl of ice cream in her hands. Cory made a HUMPH noise and leaned on his desk with crossed arms.
“The dance is coming up soon. There’s still time to ask Josh to be a chaperone.” Maya said.
“It’s nice that you have a crush on Josh but as a teacher and a parent I can’t get into a scheme with you to trick him into becoming your boyfriend.” Cory said.
“I guess you’re right. It would be weird. The sad thing is that without your help I’ll never marry him. I guess the Hunter and Matthews families will never be one.” Maya said. Cory’s head shot up.
“What?” He asked a little too aggressively.
“I’m Maya Hunter. He’s Joshua Matthews. If we got married then you and Shawn would be related. He’d be your….”
“Father-in-law.” Cory said with a voice full of awe. He looked up at the ceiling with starry eyes. Maya was pretty sure that wasn’t the right relation but she didn’t correct him.
“Yeah and after we got married we would eventually have kids. I even thought of names already. If we had a boy I’d name him Shawn, Shawn Matthews. Isn’t that a nice name?”
“Shawn Matthews!” Cory said in a high pitch squeal. “I wanted to name Riley and Auggie that but Topanga refused both times.” Maya nodded sympathetically. Cory took out his phone and looked at it nervously.
“If I do this you have to name your kid Shawn whether it’s a boy or a girl.” Cory said.
“Deal!” Maya said as she nodded eagerly.
“And the middle name has to be Cory.” He said. Maya hesitated. Cory frowned and started to put hid phone back in his pocket.
“Okay, okay, Shawn Cory Matthews it is.” Maya said. Cory smiled widely. He walked outside of the classroom to make his phone call.
“Hey Josh are you busy next Thursday?” Maya heard him ask.