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Summary:

“You’re not the one I’m here to speak to.” She kept her tone neutral, echoing Saw’s words three days prior. Dryden Vos gave her a withering look, but relented after a moment, standing from his couch with a flourish.

As he brushed past her, he whispered, “Saw Gererra is playing with fire, Togruta. My benefactor may be interested in your propositions, but I don’t have such faith.”

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Speculation on the early years of the rebellion, and how familiar foes may make amends for their past.
Long form story, somewhat slow burn. Content warnings are in a list in the chapter 1 notes.

Complete as of 18 June 2020
Final edit and key art FINALLY updated as of 2 November 2020
note: took away the little b-side piece, looking back on it I'm not super thrilled w/ it. working on other things now anyway. :)

Notes:

Howdy! First time posting a fic online, pretty much ever. I've been interested in Maul/Ahsoka's dynamic pretty much since Rebels season 2, and the clone wars finale just jump started that old flame. If anyone has a suggestion on how to quickly and reliably deal with paragraph indents on AO3 I would love you for eternity.

Not beta read, self edited a few times
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Set approx. 7+ years after the events at the end of TCW season 7. This should be more or less canon compliant, as the public canon currently stands, though there may be a few stretches here and there for the sake of plot and dialogue. This is mainly an exploration of Ahsoka's journey and trauma, though I am basing some of her coping off of my own personal methods. They are not intended to be either good or bad. They are simply what I know.

This is about growth and grey morality.

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Content warnings are as follows, and show up generally in this order:

Graphic depictions of violence and gore
Death
Light mentions of fantasy drug use and prostitution
References to masturbation
Explicit Sexual content
--oral, PiV, Rough (LIGHT but consensual physical harm, biting, scratching, etc.) power play type stuff, light femdom, maybe a minor breeding kink (but it’s only a line or two? idk?)
Unhealthy coping mechanisms and PTSD/Trauma responses
Mentions of systematic oppression, fantasy-racism mildly implied (Blink and you miss it though. Sadly, this comes with the source material a bit.)
Unhealthy relationship practices
Star Wars Rebels s2 spoilers

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Best Laid Plans

Chapter Text

12 BBY - 2nd standard month

Wrean, Partisan Branch Camp

“They’re not happy with you.”

Her words were met with a wheezing laugh - hearty, not callous as the man in front of her was predisposed to be. It was strange, meeting up with Saw Gererra after all this time. Ahsoka felt something of a kinship with him as they moved through one war into the next in parallel. Where she once coached his rebels on Onderon, he offered her the invaluable knowledge of a time-worn revolutionary. Bail called him an anarchist, she called him a friend.

“And yet! Here you stand, ready to take me up on this offer. Ready to make deals with the devil.” Gererra’s voice boomed through the crowded room, echoing off of the glass terminals before getting lost among the mob. He placed a hand on Ahsoka’s shoulder, surprisingly light, and guided her to one of the rooms at the back.  

They aren’t happy with you, but you know I’m not interested in their senatorial espionage Saw,” He chuckled again at her words, as he tapped in a long pass code to open the bulky door. “It feels good to be hands-on again.” She couldn’t help how heavy her words sounded. Saw nodded, understanding the toll her hiding had taken on her. It was nothing they had not discussed before.

The aperture - an old Republic-era style blast door, retrofitted into the base - stuttered open to allow them access. While the console room was bustling and smoky with Saw’s men milling around, this was nothing more than a glorified droid closet. In the middle of the room sat a generator, and attached to it was a sorry excuse for a holoprojector system. The walls were solid stone all around. It was cold and uncomfortable, but the bench facing the projector was as worn and inviting as anything else in the slipshod base.

“Old tech. Altered to make it harder to detect without direct line access.” Saw explained as he walked around to boot the system up. Ahsoka felt her heart pick up pace, returning her grey hood to its position atop her montrals. He had assured her that this contact was no admirer of the Empire, and they would not be sold out. No matter how much Ahsoka prodded, she had been given little detail on who she would actually be dealing with - only that the person she wanted to talk to was not the one “in charge” as he put it. Clearly, whomever she was about to deal arms with was ardent about secrecy. She was sick of the hiding, but willing to play the game.

The ticking of Saw’s fingers along the console were short and fast, absorbed by the cold walls around them. A figure appeared in the hologram, patchy and shuttering. As Gererra cursed quietly and continued working the dials to clear the picture up, Ahsoka stepped just far enough around the projector that she could see the figure’s face properly, but would not be picked up on the image herself.

“You’re late again Gererra.” The humanoid man on the other end was poised, exuding a certain gaudy aura that could only fit a man who made his living off of the backs of others. He was the polar opposite of Saw in every respect. “You know I don’t take kindly to your presumptuous calls”

“You answered didn’t you? Don’t try to bluff Vos, you’re not good at it.” The hologram grimaced in response, and Saw cut in before he could rebut, “Get off the com, you’re not the one we need to speak to.”

“We? You’re treading a thin line here G-”

“I’m entitled to my secrets too Dryden, now get off the damn line.”

Vos looked ready to cut the transmission then and there, but hesitated and hit mute instead. His hologram looked up at something unseen behind his desk’s projector. Though it was pointless, Ahsoka followed his line of sight to the rough-hewn stone behind Saw, and for a moment was lost in its imperfections. Something was off. Not wrong, but different. Unusual, but not unfamiliar. The cold atmosphere of the room suddenly felt on fire. The com unmuted as Dryden Vos gave his seat up with a muttered ‘consider yourself lucky.’ Ahsoka’s montrals strained, listening as the shuffling of fabric was replaced by a repetitive metallic thudding, intermixed with the hiss of hydraulics. Her sight remained locked on the wall behind her.

“An eye for an eye, Gererra. Who have you brought me?”

The wall Ahsoka stared at so intently began to crack as the Force billowed around her in an invisible cloud, pieces chipping off to scatter onto Saw’s shoulders below.

“Ahsoka?” A whisper from Saw, likely imperceptible on the other com line. Her fingers felt ready to break with how tightly her hands had clenched. She breathed heavily through her nostrils and looked down to Saw, her friend and ally ... whom she would talk to later.

“Alone, Saw. Please.” Some deep part of her despised how distant her voice was, she promised to never return to this state of mind, yet here it was again. Here he was again. She should have known from the constricting atmosphere. She should have known from the Force.

Saw got up, leaving slowly but respecting her wish for privacy. Once the door shut, Ahsoka tore off her hood in a final bid to get the manic energy building up within her out. She centered herself as much as was possible with the Force thrumming as it was, before straightening her back and confronting the hologram. Maul’s eyes pierced her own. She was still standing out of the line of the holoprojector’s camera, yet his head was turned to stare directly at her. Ahsoka found she couldn’t look away. He looked just as harsh and brazen as she remembered. As she took slow, deliberate steps to the bench - finally in his own hologram’s view - their eyes remained ever connected and unwavering.

“Ahsoka Tano lives.” Each word dripped from his tongue like he was reveling in the way they felt to say. They hung in the silence for a long moment. “What brings you to call me of all people, Lady Tano? Expecting me to gloat about it all?”

“I wouldn’t put it past you.” The distant voice still superseded her own.

“Hmm, rather masochistic for a Jedi trainee. Let’s see, as I recall, I gave you ample opportunity to-”

“That wasn’t an invitation. I’m here to talk business, Maul.” She forced the fire back into her voice to stop him from toying with her, and continued through gritted teeth as he sneered. “Though, last I checked, you were no longer affiliated with Crimson Dawn.”

“Last you checked, ” He leaned forward, baring his own teeth in a grotesque grin, “the Pykes and Black Sun were not affiliated either.” 

So, she had correctly assumed he was still in control of the old spice and trafficking rings in some capacity, and that the Shadow Collective still kept their ties. They openly despised Crimson Dawn - because of that, it had seemed the safest option to buy from out of the three. This was all meant to be an equation where he was not a variable, yet here he sat. Ahsoka crossed her arms over her chest, an old habit of defiance. “You pull the strings from deep in your web, keep them at each other's throats, and profit regardless of the outcome.”

“It’s incredible how well it works. Such is life in the shadows.” He steepled his hands, shrugging as if it were the most obvious adage in the galaxy.

She scoffed openly, “Do you have the Hutts under your thumb too? The Brood?”

“The gamblers of the Haxion Brood are a pointless endeavor. The Hutts... Perhaps one day they will rejoin.” He smiled, self-satisfied with whatever nebulous plan he had, though it looked more like a grimace with his sharp tattoos. 

Ahsoka felt sick to her stomach. “So, the once proud Sith has now fully resigned himself to lying among the bantha.”

Maul’s deep growl caused the com to stutter, “All this time and you are still dogmatic as ever. Look around you! You sit within damp caves among the scoundrels and the malcontent of the Galaxy, who thrive on nothing but their own disorder. I thought you were not a Jedi Lady Tano, why bother acting like one when the company you keep would see you knocked off your pedestal the moment you regain it?”

“For the same reason you bother with your criminals - You ache for power, control, because it’s all you’ve been trained for. I’ve been trained to fight. So that’s what I do. I’ll deal with the outcome when I get there.” Ahsoka was opening up more than she had intended, but her personal vendetta against Maul was not going to blind her of her goal. She had promised Bail and Mothma the resources - on the conditions that no questions be asked - and she had no intention to let this fall through just because of her past with the Zabrak.

She took a breath, set her jaw, and ignored the way his golden eyes cut into her every move. “We are forming a handful of rebel factions. They’re small and in need of resources. Ships that can’t be traced, munitions, the standard stuff. With luck they will become self-sufficient and rejoin when the time is right, but for now we need a source. Saw led me to you.”

He considered her words for a moment, jaw grinding slightly. “I admit, I am surprised your little rebel alliance is taking help from Gererra’s Partisans, let alone Crimson Dawn.”

“They’re not. I am.”

He looked genuinely stunned at that. “Your senators don’t know about this?” 

“They know what they need to. No more.” Maul was silent, hands balled into a loose grasp near his jaw as he thought. She could feel the near imperceptible shifting of the Force as he weighed the information.

“And in return?”

“Credits, and a chance to do something good for once.” He rolled his eyes as she continued, “As long as we have a supply coming in, the Senators will pay up. Their Core world treasuries won’t miss a few credits here and there.”

“Your passion is something to be admired, Lady Tano.” He tilted his head lightly, expression indiscernible. “You would have made a good Sith.”

“Do we have a deal?”

“Perhaps I was too quick to bring up your former title. You have certainly changed from what they formed you into. From the young woman I once met.” Ahsoka narrowed her eyes at him but Maul continued, deathly quiet. “How the mighty have fallen they might say.”

“This is - You are - simply a necessary evil I’m sparing the others of dealing with.”

“Rationalize it however you will my Lady, in the end you are lying with the bantha just as much as I.” He sighed, suddenly sounding weary and hardened past his years, “Come to Hosnian Prime, Vos’ ship will be docked there in three cycle’s time for a connection he has on the Corellian Trade Spine. We can finalize this, face to face.”

Deep Space, Mid Rim

Their old ship shuttered deeply as it took the jump to hyperspace. As the bolts of her walls rattled with the movement Ahsoka finally let out the hiccuping sob she had been holding in. Though the freighter Saw had lent her was rough around the edges and in dire need of maintenance, it was large enough for their small group to have somewhat private rooms. ‘ Elbow room, a small blessing,’ she thought dryly. 

After Ahsoka cut the transmission with Maul she had left the room quickly, intending to return to her personal x-wing and leave the planet then and there. Saw had intercepted her immediately, offering a larger ship and some of his crew; his way of apologizing for something he didn’t quite understand. Once the dust had settled, they sat together.

Why wouldn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you trust me?

Her breathing stuttered as she now sat on the threadbare cot, recalling their conversation while trying and failing to center herself yet again. She had known for a long time that Maul was alive in the underbelly of the galaxy, but seeing him… she was unprepared. Behind the lids of her shut eyes were scenes from Mandalore, the Star Destroyer bridge, the cold wreckage on that moon -- all played back in brutal detail. Opening them was not much better, as the sparse, grey walls of her small room offered nothing but a reminder of everything that had happened since then.

Ahsoka had long come to terms with the fact that Maul himself was not the source of her trauma. He had just been another foe in her campaign through the Clone Wars, perhaps a bit stronger, but no different from any other darksider she fought. He was a stain on the tapestry of her past, like anything else from that time. It was what had come after that haunted her.

She couldn’t recall just how long she had cried after leaving the moon, seven years ago. She and Rex had taken any time not spent sleeping or navigating their little speeder, in silence, holding one another. The cycles had a habit of flowing into one another. Every so often she would feel another pang through the force as yet more Jedi were found and cut down. First came the calculating denial, the cold fear, then her unfamiliar and unrelenting anger. 

Rex would simply hold her as she shook, wracked with tremors. He would stand steady even as her fists hit his unarmored chest, even as the tears streamed down both of their faces and mingled in the fabric of their clothes. How she longed for him in this moment, once again speeding through hyperspace, uncertain of the future she was organizing.

When they split up, months after the fledgling Empire dug its claws in deep, it was mutually understood. Rex wanted to search for his brothers, anyone else who might be saved from their new old master, and had insisted that Ahsoka would be in more danger at his side. She had begrudgingly agreed, knowing it meant the universe to him to find his kin, and assuring him they would meet again. That didn’t make parting any easier, but Ahsoka trusted him more than anyone else.

Here she was, crossing the galaxy yet again. It would be only two cycles’ time before they reached the Hosnian system, and another before she met up with Maul directly. She knew Rex wouldn’t approve of the path she was on.

Ahsoka laid down to rest.

Hosnian Prime, Aboard the First Light

“I’m no stranger to working with you bounty hunters, though I do appreciate seeing the face of the person I’m going to be employing.”

Vos’ contempt permeated the air of his office. He had not thought - or cared - to tell her, but it seemed Maul had given her the alibi of being a bounty hunter. Ever secretive, even among his agents. Had it been anyone else, she would have thanked him for taking her privacy into consideration. 

“You’re not the one I’m here to speak to.” She kept her tone neutral, echoing Saw’s words three days prior. Vos gave her a withering look, but relented after a moment, standing from his couch with a flourish.

As he brushed past her, he trailed a clawed touch to her right lek and whispered beside her montral, “Saw is playing with fire, Togruta. My benefactor may be interested in your propositions, but I don’t have such faith.” 

Her head whipped around, snarling. The tip of her lek twitched back in response to his touch. Vos walked out of the room without sparing a backward glance, and she was left alone in the office to wait. To get her mind off of her nerves, she looked about the room. The decor around her was muted, but ostentatious nonetheless. A variety of valuables stood on pedestals, stolen, if she had to guess. 

Ahsoka wandered to the window with a huff of indignation. It was dusk and the sky had an even pink overcast. The city lights added a golden glow through the fog. Though the architecture was far different, she couldn’t help but be reminded of the view from the council room of the Jedi Temple. She tried to feel happy at the memory of her former home, but could conjure only sadness. Ahsoka instead returned to the present, ruminating on the once-Sith she was about to deal with. She had steeled herself that morning for the confrontation with Maul, and found she was not nearly as apprehensive as she first felt within the Partisan camp. Maul was a crime lord, had been for nearly a decade now; and thanks to that, he was predictable.

The hiss of the door opening was gentle, but the footsteps following it were far less. They were the same metallic thuds she had heard through the holoprojector - he wore no boots to mask the noise. Ahsoka expected a sardonic comment that never came. Instead, she heard him pause momentarily before taking a seat. The soft hiss of hydraulics and silken fabric mingled as he settled in.

She didn’t turn to look at him.

“What the hell did you tell that rat of yours?”

“You are a bounty hunter, from Saw Gererra’s ranks, who works outside of the Guild’s system. Please try to play along.”

Ahsoka gave a noncommittal noise in response, finally turning and squinting down at his position on the central couch. He was an image of tranquility and confidence, leaning both arms against the back of the lounge, robotic legs crossed loosely. She noted that he carried no saber. ‘ Good ,’ she thought. They had taken hers the moment she stepped on board. His loose vest folded out on itself, and the deep scarlet of his skin looked brighter, healthier than she had remembered. His eyes bored holes through her.

“A mask?” He quirked a tattooed brow at her ensemble. 

“It’s what a bounty hunter would wear.” 

“You need not wear it in my presence, Lady Tano.” He spread his palms out, “To Vos you are an employee. To me... you are a warrior.”

After her run in with the Sixth Brother on Raada she had fashioned the loose mask to obscure her distinguishing features. It may have been an unnecessary precaution overall, but it had come in handy over the years. Plus, it had done its part to annoy both Vos and now Maul, so that had to be worth something. Part of her was loath to remove it in front of him, just on principle, though she knew there was no real reason to hide now. Ahsoka stepped toward the couch opposite Maul, reaching up to withdraw the fabric from her chin and slide the strap from her head as she walked. She never once took her eyes off of him. His hands flexed slightly with her movement.

The mask landed in a flutter on the couch while she took her seat, leaning both elbows on her knees and tilting her chin slightly at him. He motioned to a plate of cured meats and fruit between them, a small courtesy Vos had allowed. She did not move.

They sat like that for a long moment, silent acknowledgement of their history passing between them. Ahsoka broke the silence first. “We can offer a 10% advance tax on all-”

“30.”

“15.”

Maul laughed, genuine and loud - it was a noise she didn’t even think he knew how to make. His mottled teeth gave a short click as he grimaced back at her, “ I do not give a damn about the credits Lady Tano. But I must appease my subordinates somehow, hmm? If not with credits, then how?”

Ahsoka gave a frustrated sigh and rubbed at her forehead. “To be frank Maul, you were not the one I expected to be heading this gang. Had I known I was going to be dealing with one as obstinate as you, I wouldn’t be sitting here.” She leaned into the back rest and crossed her arms over her chest. “So, what is it you do give a damn about?”

“Information.”

“If you actually think I’m going to sell out my compatriots, I’ll take my leave right now.”

“Not your rebellion, no. Information on the Empire. I have my own moles, but the more the merrier. Certainly you have your own connections too?”

Ahsoka stared at him, calculating. In the few years since Mandalore, new tension lines had formed across his brow. He was calm at the moment, his Force signature shielded but smug, though his aura did nothing to hide the physical tolls he had taken through the years. She stood, grabbing one of the morsels from the table between them and walking back to her place at the window. It was fully night in the city now, and the fog that once covered it had cleared enough for her to look up at the sky. The stars were invisible with the light pollution as it was.

“You’re not good at bargaining, you know.” His voice slid over to her like silk. The tell-tale sound of his cybernetics booted up once more, and he stood to join her at the sill. His robes, loose and flowing in a way she had not seen him wear before, brushed the side of her arm. It all felt too familiar to her, the way he stood facing out, with his hands loosely clasped at his lower back. “Though, neither am I, truly.”

She took a small bite from the cured meat she held, noting with a bit of satisfaction how he twinged. It was low of her to goad about his cybernetics, she knew, but this was his game. She would play along, just as he requested.

“Fine.” Ahsoka spoke between bites. Maul’s Force immediately became a live wire. He didn’t dare cut in, knowing she had more to say. She felt more of that deep, odd vindication at the notion that she had him hanging on her every word and languished in it. “But it will be your bounty hunter who delivers the information.”

Maul was looking at her pointedly. Their eyes stood nearly level now - which she had to admit, boosted that budding ego even more. After a moment he smiled in his own sneering way, straightening his back and turning to face her fully.

“For a fifteen percent advance on my equipment, and the secrets of the Empire... my Lady,” He offered his hand, “I will help you.”

Ahsoka looked down at his offered palm, another wave of recognition rolling through her. The stakes were not quite so drastic, the terms were more or less her own this time, but still she felt the same apprehension. She noted that the gloves he wore now were a different cut - plain, not tactical, and free of grime and dust. She grasped his hand in hers, pristine leather chafing against her own worn armorweave. The gloves she had worn on Mandalore.

She made a mental note to get a new pair.

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