Chapter Text
The material around Jimin’s waist was pulled tighter and he held back the groan that tried to slip past his lips, his servant tugging far too harshly on the expensive piece. If it had been anyone else, he would have snapped, but his usual dresser Seokjin was taking time off after falling ill so he was stuck with his rather attractive guard. In the reflection of the large mirror standing before Jimin he could see his face concentrated, dark eyes squinted slightly, jawline emphasised, and tongue peeking out from his heart shaped lips. He was far too handsome.
“I’m sorry my lord, my hands were not trained for such delicate things.” Hoseok apologised, shaky hands shifting around.
“Then you should learn.” Jimin snapped, body lurching towards the reflective surface as Hoseok yanked. With a small huff Jimin straightened himself once more, staring daggers as his guard in the mirror. “I don’t trust anyone else but you, Jungkook and Seokjin to care for me so-” He paused glancing down at the thin layers of clothing that covered his fragile body. “Closely.”
Loosening his hold on the long cloth, Hoseok stepped away from Jimin, bringing himself downwards. He bowed deeply, nearly breaking himself into two. “Thank you for your trust sir.”
“Sir?” Jimin crooked his head to the side, plump lips parting slightly as he continued to watch Hoseok through the mirror rather than turning himself around. He found it hard to break his eyes away from the dark-haired fellow who held his bow of submission.
“Sorry.” Hoseok attempted to bow further but found he just caused pain in his lower back. “Thank you for your trust my lord.” He spoke the words sincerely, having only worked with Jimin for about a year after his previous guard was deemed as too weak. Hoseok being the second guard in charge took on the role even though it was unfamiliar to have someone so young holding such an important position. He showed himself worthy though, both in talent and trust.
“I don’t mind sir, but I am your lord. Am I not?” With gentle movements Jimin pulled on his sleeves, making them stop halfway across his hands, preferring this look even if it was less rational.
“I will keep that in mind my lord.” Hoseok finally brought himself back up, head still held down, keeping his gaze pointed towards the floor. He dared not look at Jimin, not wanting his lord to see his flushed cheeks caused by embarrassment. He was supposed to protect him after all, not dress him.
Spinning on the ball on his feet Jimin spun around, brushing Hoseok's side as he slid past him. “Anyway, I’ll be off now.” He paused just before the sliding door. With a swiftness Hoseok returned to his side, opening up the door so he may pass through. “You need not follow me for now. I am only heading to the library.” Jimin let Hoseok know before he continued to stalk him around the house like usual.
Hoseok understood immediately and remained with his head down, but Jimin had not moved away, he still hovered between the exit of his bedroom and the entrance to the hallway. His finger poked underneath Hoseok’s chin and pulled him upwards bringing their eyes levelled, he smiled gently at his servant.
“But while I’m gone please learn how to play with delicate things.” Slowly Jimin removed his finger from Hoseok’s soft skin, returning his hand to his side, the material sliding back down to brush his fingers. “I don’t wish to be broken.”
Jimin turned away from Hoseok going deeper into the house, the occasional creak coming from his steps, but just before he left earshot he heard the words come from Hoseok: “Yes, my lord.” Jimin’s tender smile crept across his face becoming wider.
The library wasn’t far, but the weather had really become obvious as Jimin crossed the courtyard. Suddenly winter had already been gracing them, making it a year since he had Hoseok become his personal guard. It was a sudden shift but one Jimin was thankful for, his old guard becoming slow. Plus, Hoseok wasn’t an eye-sore, rather the opposite.
Before officially being introduced Jimin had seen Hoseok around. He normally had his hair short, which was unusual but most likely so it didn’t disturb his eyes, after all he wasn’t supposed to be as presentable. Yet Jimin found himself entranced whenever they had crossed paths, even if it was only briefly. His kind smile had always warmed Jimin’s chest, and now getting to see that grin everyday made Jimin extremely thankful.
He had come from the same family as his previous guard, so he knew trust was already implemented, their awkward steps were Hoseok’s fear of responsibility, making him overprotective. Jimin didn’t mind, nor did he ever tell him that staying with Jimin into the night and tucking him into bed wasn’t supposed to be part of his job.
His grin shifted into something darker as he stood in front of the library getting a shock as Namjoon ripped the door open, nearly pulling it off. Namjoon may be very intelligent and one of the best scholars Jimin has ever met, but he was so very clumsy.
“My apologies. Did I scare you my lord?”
Jimin clutched at his chest, balling up the material Hoseok had just covered him with carefully. “You really need to be more careful Namjoon. Less busy in here.” With a slightly stubby finger Jimin poked Namjoon’s forehead.
“I shall try my best.” Namjoon’s lips upturned and his dimples dug into his cheeks. “Please come inside.” He moved to the side, allowing Jimin more space to move past him. He did just that with small steps, crossing through into the room lined with books. It was basically where Namjoon lived.
Jimin glanced around the room, all the different stacks of literature placed perfectly, save the few that were lying open on the table Namjoon had set up for them. Small glasses of ink sat close by, and Jimin prayed Namjoon wouldn’t destroy any of the precious books he had helped collect with the dark liquid.
Folding himself Jimin sat with his legs crossed on the cushioned surface, the wooden table sitting just about where his knees sat. One book was faced towards him already and the lines he read captivated him. Such simple phrases, and yet they held so much meaning when context was applied. He hadn’t always been a fan of poetry, but it had grown on him after he realised he had finally found that love so many of them spoke of.
“Shall we do some poetry today?” Jimin put the idea out there, and Namjoon looked delighted as he sat down across for Jimin, eyes shining even in the rather dark environment.
“Of course, my lord.” He reached for the ink, passing half of it to Jimin as he retrieved the paper Jimin had been writing on previously. The thick substance was already littered with words but there was still room for many more.
Jimin pulled his sleeve up, resting it around his elbow as he gripped the writing device. “I have some feelings I wish to write out.” Namjoon placed the book before him and all his previous work looked like such a blur, even if they were the intense emotions Jimin had felt when they were written, currently they just appeared as lines.
“Perfect.” Giving Jimin room he stood back up, not wanting to interfere with Jimin’s train of thought. He hovered around the door, watching as Hoseok’s shadow came to stand outside.
With a deep inhale Jimin fluttered his eyes shut, trying to picture his morning with Hoseok. How his rough hands had grazed Jimin’s pale skin while placing the initial layer upon him, how his eyes focused in on the detailing of the material that now graced Jimin’s frame, and how pink his cheeks were when Jimin had departed.
Like it was natural he began to move the brush, not caring too much for the words, but more the feeling. How it had all felt to him, and how those small accidental touches had made him comforted and loved even if they were only brief. He had of course had Hoseok touch him before, but whilst he was in such a vulnerable state it felt far more intimate this time around.
He wrote.
With a long exhale he stopped the movements coming from his wrist and looked down the work he had created. It wasn’t amazing, nor would he ever want to present these words to Hoseok personally, but they helped him relieve his outburst of desire. For if his Father found out he knew the both of them would be dead, regardless of Jimin being his only son.
He had written about that before too. How he hated that he couldn’t do what he wanted because of his Father. How he loathed the body he lived in, wishing he had instead been a female because then he would just be in love with a commoner, not be in love with a commoner of the same gender. These feelings had always cursed him and as much as he wished for them to disappear, he couldn’t help returning to them as soon as Hoseok gave him that soft smile, or accidentally brushed their bodies together.
Jimin hadn’t even realised how long he had been inside his thoughts until he noticed Namjoon had sat back down and read the words he had graced the paper with. The lines of ink were still drying, and emotions still raw.
With his deep voice he echoed the words aloud. “Your touch is a dream, so powerful yet gentle, I miss it dearly.” He gave a small nod, seemingly processing the phrases in the back of his mind. “A haiku.” Namjoon finally spoke.
“I wanted to try something different.” Jimin shrugged but straightened his back pridefully.
Namjoon hummed quietly. “It is simplistic but I’m sure it holds great meaning to you.” He tried to announce without coming off as too offensive, careful with the way he pronounced his words.
“Why do you say that?” A sudden fear flashed across Jimin’s face. He had always written with his emotions in mind, but this was the first time Namjoon had spoken to him so directly about the meaning, normally just leaving the sentences as lines of words.
Namjoon lifted his brow. “It is rather random to write about missing someone's touch if it were not personal.” Gently he placed the strung together paper down on the table, careful not to smudge the still wet ink.
“What if it is?” Jimin scoffed, trying to play it off.
With his brow rising higher Namjoon tried his best to keep composed, pursing his lips in thought. He glanced at the door before leaning across the table, air gracing Jimin’s ear so their whispers could not be heard by the outside world.
“Then I hope Hoseok can’t hear.”
The sentence made Jimin flinch backwards, nearly falling. “What are you implying?” Jimin said as a half-yell, not wanting to have Hoseok barge through the door after becoming concerned.
“Do not worry, I have known for a while. I do not wish to make anything negative out of it.” He flowed through the words still hushed, eyes dancing between Jimin and the door cautious of Hoseok’s possible appearance.
Jimin could feel his heart pounding against his chest, face growing pale even with Namjoon’s words of comfort. He fisted the heap of cloth in his lap trying to calm himself back down and do what he did best, lie.
“You are being ridiculous.” Jimin hung his mouth open, various sighs and huffs exiting.
“My lord, I am being sincere.” Namjoon maintained his serious expression. “I know it must be hard keeping those thoughts to yourself and so you come to me, or you come to literature.” He gestures to the page filled with various confessions of love. “It is an outlet. And I only bring it up because your poems and phrases are becoming more-” He hesitated, sinking into himself. “Intimate.”
Jimin squinted his eyes shut, pretending he was not currently in this situation. He knew he could trust Namjoon, but having this idea shared with anyone else was dangerous, because he couldn’t ignore it for much longer then. The fear of exposure smothering him and smashing through his desires as if they were made of glass. His dreams shattered.
“I’m not trying to out you my lord, but please do consider either pushing these ideas further down.” Jimin could feel his heart drop, body becoming heavy as the words left Namjoon’s pink tinged lips. Saying exactly what he had been thinking, but was too cowardly, too weak to begin acting on.
Then he continued.
“Or at least fulfill them quietly.” As the idea was uttered Jimin snapped his head back up to look at Namjoon, startled. “The more you put this down onto paper the harder it will be to hide your feelings, whether you decide to bury them or pursue them. I am glad however that through poetry you found comfort, my lord.” The wisdom leaked from Jimin and he was unsure whether Namjoon was being honest with him, assuming the initial reaction to anyone finding out would be utter disgust. Yet with his intellect he instead told Jimin the truth, act or remove.
Still shocked, Jimin sat there for a moment, praying Hoseok had not heard any of their discussion, and yet a tinge of hope was glowing inside of his mind. He had never considered actually approaching Hoseok to make anything out of his feelings, wanting to just accept the small grazes and touches as they came and make do with what he could.
“I want him.” Jimin mumbled, not even aware he had sounded out the honest thoughts that swarmed his mind.
“Then take your shot.” Namjoon said so naturally as if it were that easy. Then his eyes darkened, the reflection of light fading as he continued. “If he reacts badly however, remember who you are. As awful as that sounds it is the only way to stay safe.” The small tap of Namjoon’s fingers on the table became so loud as he stopped speaking.
Jimin picked at the threads poking out from his very expensive clothing, trying to avoid Namjoon’s intense gaze of realism. He had always acknowledged the power difference between them and made sure Hoseok knew even if they were friendly that at the end of the day Jimin could make him disappear off the face of the earth, no questions asked.
“You are a lord. Do as lord’s do.” The movement of Namjoon was ignored as Jimin continued to stare into his lap, stringing out the lost thread and snapping it.
With a small roll of Jimin’s eyes he slowly pushed himself away from the flooring. He may be smaller than Namjoon, but he stood before him, head held high. “You are brave to even say this to me.” He still respected Namjoon but jumping him like this was a grand move.
“I just want what is best for you.” Namjoon stepped back from Jimin and bowed his head down as he spoke.
Jimin sucked at his cheeks. “You’re lucky I believe you.” With a grunt he moved away from Namjoon, charging towards the door. His hand grabbed the edge of the frame and threw it open, a very surprised Hoseok jumping into a defensive position.
“Thank you, my lord.” He responded but the slam of the door shutting smothered his finishing words.
With loud stomps Jimin fled across the courtyard, heading towards his room. He wasn’t going too fast, but his face was determined enough to make it seem like he was running. Hoseok couldn’t help but be curious.
Once they reached Jimin’s bedroom he didn’t wait for Hoseok to open the door for him, just ripping it open himself, dropping onto the cushioned floor where he slept, back facing where Hoseok stood awkwardly.
With great care Hoseok pulled the door shut, not wanting anyone else to see Jimin in this emotional state, nor let Jimin get too cold from the outer elements, feeling the sting from the cold still fresh on his nose after waiting outside in it for Jimin to finish his session with Namjoon.
“What was that about?” Hoseok finally found the words he had been wanting to ask ever since he saw Jimin aggressively leave the library. Normally he would always leave calmer than he had been before, as if a weight had been lifted from his fragile shoulders.
“Do not worry yourself, Namjoon just spilt some ink on my work.” Jimin lied expertly.