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Holly J had interrupted movie night to take a phone call in the next room, swearing it would only be a minute. A minute had turned into five, five had turned into ten, ten into twenty, and at the half-hour mark, when she'd been listening to the BluRay menu looping the same tinkling theme and images of the movie's stars over and over and over again, Fiona began to worry that something had gone wrong. She got up to investigate, imagining Holly J writhing on the ground in the throes of kidney failure (which probably wasn't that dramatic, but she was worried), and intercepted Holly J coming out of her room. Her best friend looked stricken, shocked.
"Holly J? What is it?"
"Wow. I never thought I'd have to do two interventions in one calendar year." Holly J was clutching her cell to her stomach in both hands.
"Intervention? What..?"
"That was Anya's mom on the phone. Did you know Anya's been doing cocaine?"
Fiona could've sworn the entire room flipped upside down for a moment, she was so taken aback. "Anya's been doing cocaine?" she repeated dumbly. Anya was one of the most well-adjusted people she knew. She thought about her own stint in rehab, the addicts there, and tried to superimpose Anya's image over theirs. It didn't fit at all. At Holly J's lost expression, her own confusion turned into anger. "Who gave it to her? I bet it was that skeeze Owen. Ew, God, he is so gross."
Holly J shook her head. "I don't like him any more than you do, but I don't think this was his doing. Anyway, Anya's mom said she doesn't think Anya's been using long, so it's not an intervention, but she wants people to come to over to the MacPhersons' on Saturday so we can sit down and talk with Anya about it."
"Does she think a sit-down will help?" Fiona said doubtfully.
Holly J shrugged. "Can it hurt? I mean, unless I'm totally wrong, we have no idea what we're really dealing with here, so it's as much for us as it is for her."
Fiona still wasn't sure, but she knew she'd go either way. "Well, you can count on me. I'll be there."
Holly J disappeared into Fiona's bedroom, presumably to make a call or two, and Fiona shut off the TV, looking to the spot on the couch that had recently been occupied by Anya. It'd been surprisingly easy to incorporate her into their social circle, so easy that Fiona regretted having not done it sooner. Anya was funny, sweet, open-minded. Fiona hoped she wouldn't have to add 'addict' to the list of modifiers when she thought of Anya, the way that she was sure people did to Fiona herself.
She sunk into the couch, looking across the room at the calendar counting down the days to things like prom and (Holly J's) graduation. It had been such a long, ridiculous year. How much more drama could they cram into it?
Holly J had borrowed her mother's car to drop them off at Anya's. As she crossed the threshold into the living room, greeting Mrs. Macpherson, Holly J realized it had been ages since she'd been here. Probably not since becoming so close with Fiona; her time with Anya was mostly relegated to school or the Dot, or, more recently, Fiona's condo. It was easier to go away from their own houses, to get away from parental supervision. Holly J thought of all the disasters that had befallen them lately, and wished she'd fought for more supervision. Would it have made a difference?
Fiona hung back to chat up Anya's mom, maybe offer her own perspective on rehab. Her alcoholism wasn't something she liked to announce, but she was clearly willing to put her pride aside for Anya's sake.
Holly J continued on onto the living room, which was like going to another planet, the atmosphere was so different. It wasn't tomb-silent, but it was tensely quiet. Everyone swiveled their heads towards the door, like a perverse surprise party. Holly J offered a weak smile. Riley Stavros was sitting in an armchair, looking stiff and uncomfortable. Chantay was chatting amicably with Zane Park and, oddly, Sav. Holly J hadn't expected to see Sav there. Mrs. MacPherson must have called him. Holly J was genuinely touched he'd come. He was coming for Anya, of course, but the fact that he could forgive and forget enough to be here when she truly needed him, it made Holly J respect him immensely and gave her hope for their own friendship in the future.
Last and certainly not least was Owen, sitting in the corner, looking like he knew perfectly well no one wanted to talk to him. Holly J looked over at Sav, awkwardly eyeing the junior prom photo of him and Anya that was still displayed on the Macpherson's mantelpiece, and decided she was willing to shelve her own distaste. She nodded at Chantay to indicate she'd join her in a minute, then went over and stood next to Owen. "Hi."
"You're talking to me?" he said, his tone dripping with acid.
"You came for Anya's sake knowing the circumstances," she said. Circumstances like no one wanting him here, or the risk that Anya might never speak to them again. "I can manage to be a little friendly."
"How generous of you." The kid could teach a master class in sarcasm, that was for sure. He seemed to think better of it, however, and offered a crooked half-smile. "Sorry. Kinda tense."
"You and me both," Holly J said. "I feel like a terrible friend; I never even noticed something was wrong. She's been acting a little oddly lately, sure, but I knew she was stressed out about university, and I..."
"Had your own stuff to deal with," Owen filled in. "How's the kidney thing working out?"
"You knew about that?" she asked.
"I hear things," he said with a shrug. "I wouldn't worry about it too much, anyway. I was there the first time she tried it, so it's more my fault than yours."
"You were there?" Holly J said, her rage flaring. "You knew?" She remembered Fiona's earlier accusations, and to think she'd defended him.
"I thought it was just the one time thing," he said. "And I told her I didn't think it was the best idea. You think she listens to me? You're the only one she listens to, Holly J, and no offense, but I think she was kinda getting tired of that, too."
"Everything's been going so badly for her lately."
"Yeah. I'm beginning to think that breaking up with her wasn't the best idea. I thought maybe it would help, but maybe it just made things worse."
"You broke up with her?" Holly J said, surprised.
"I don't normally hang around drug users, no," he said, narrowing his eyes at her. "Hey, I know what you think of me. You haven't exactly been hiding the fact that you think I'm, what was it, disgusting?" Holly J winced. "But I want to get my coaching certification, and I don't want anything affecting that, or my game. It's not my place to judge what others want to do with their bodies, unless they're the kids I'm coaching, but I don't do that crap."
Had Anya been right? Had Holly J completely misjudged Owen? She still thought he was probably the same homophobic, gross-to-women bastard she knew, but he seemed to really like Anya. He was here, wasn't he? Moments ago, she'd been (silently) praising Sav for showing up, she could extend the same respect to Owen?
He didn't have to be magically reformed. He had to be here for Anya when she needed it. That was what was important. Right now. Holly J would help her friend get better; she'd work on social justice later.
"Well, thanks for coming," she said, at a loss for anything else.
Owen gave her a pointed look. "I didn't come for you," he said. It was the right answer.
Holly J perched awkwardly on the arm of the couch, next to Chantay. She felt a little guilty about not talking to Riley, who looked so uncomfortable, but then Fiona swept into the room and locked onto her ex-boyfriend immediately. Fiona was a master at social graces, Holly J thought fondly.
"So, this is weird," said Chantay quietly. She may have been quiet, but her voice never lost that Chantay edge, the one that always seemed to bounce around, excitedly on the verge of A Story. Holly J trusted Chantay's friendship and silence, but she was still uneasy. Being here was uneasy.
"Yep, this is pretty weird," Holly J agreed. Before she could elaborate further, she could hear the overly loud sounds of Mr. MacPherson talking to his daughter. Seconds later, Anya showed up in the living room doorway, her parents behind her.
"Well, my birthday was awhile ago, so this isn't another surprise party."
The kids all looked at each other, uncertain who should speak. Holly J was the only one who'd really done it before, so she stood up. "No, we're here because we're worried about your problem."
"My problem?"
"You've been using, um... cocaine." Holly J all but choked on the word, it seemed so foreign. Cocaine was something that happened at Declan's posh NYC prep school, with all of the trust fund kids who had nothing better to do. This was Degrassi. Nice, quiet, polite, dull Degrassi. Moreover, this was Anya. Anya, who pretended she was a princess in the woods on weekends, who spent her weeknights helping her mother battle cancer. Putting Anya and cocaine together made no sense.
"The cocaine?" said Anya, and then it dawned on her, and she turned an accusing gaze to Owen. "You. You told everyone?"
"No, sweetie, I did," her mother said. "I called your friends here. I thought you could use the support."
"Is this an intervention? Because I think for an intervention, everyone has to A, know you have a problem. I don't think anyone in this room has paid me enough attention to consider it. And B, it has to be affecting your life negatively, which, it hasn't, because my life already kind of sucked. Nothing's worse, it's just the same."
"Anya, come on, we're trying to help," said Riley.
"I don't need help. Not for this. It's a non-issue. I said I'd stop, okay? So I'm stopping."
"Anya." This time it was Fiona who spoke, so quietly it barely seemed real, and it seemed to stop Anya's argument in its tracks. She was one of the only three people in the room who knew where Fiona had really been earlier in the year, why she wasn't graduating on time with everyone else. "Look, I don't know too much about your specific problem. Maybe you really can stop. Maybe you're genuinely not an addict. But stopping the cocaine won't stop the reasons why you wanted to use it. Maybe you don't need to go to rehab, I don't know, but you do need some kind of help. I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it, Anya. You know that."
Anya and Fiona stared at each other for a long beat, and Holly J wondered if this would be a cinematic moment, where everything would break down and Anya's problems would be magically resolved. But of course it wasn't.
Anya huffed. "So... what? You're all here because you want to be here for the show, you want me to break down and talk about everything that's wrong with me and my life? Where were you when I needed you? Where were you when my mom had cancer, Holly J? You were making out with my ex-boyfriend." She pointed accusingly at Sav, to really rub in her point. "And Chantay, you don't care about anything but yourself and the Power Squad, unless it's good gossip for your stupid blog. I've barely even seen you this year, Zane, unless you're glued to Riley's side and I have to hear about his parents and their issues, over and over again. Owen, you were there when I was offered cocaine in the first place, and did you even try to stop me? No. And Fiona, don't even pretend like you haven't spent this entire year stealing my best friend away from me, except for when you were too drunk to function."
"Anya!" her mother gasped.
"So maybe it hasn't been a perfect year," said Sav. "That's not a good reason to destroy yourself like this."
"Why the hell not?" said Anya. "It's not like I have a future to look forward to. You guys are all leaving. You have things to do, places to go, you have your whole lives ahead of you, and I have... what?"
Silence answered her.
"It wasn't a rhetorical question. What do I have?"
"You have me." To Holly J's surprise, it was Owen speaking. "You have us."
"I didn't have you before," she said darkly.
"Yeah, but we're here now, aren't we?" Owen stood and walked to her slowly; Holly J half expected Anya to slap him. But she didn't, she just looked at him through eyes sparkling with tears. "Anya, we're here now."
"For how long?"
"As long as you need us," Zane offered.
Holly J crossed the room and wrapped Anya in a hug before anyone could stop her. Anya was stiff in her arms, but Holly J hugged her anyway. They had been friends, sometimes even best friends, for ages. Holly J had been terrible to her a lot of times. But Anya had always stuck around. Holly J would be an idiot, and a hypocrite, and the worst person she'd ever been, if she walked away now.
After a long moment, Anya hiccupped like she was holding in a sob, and hugged her back.
"We can figure this out," Holly J said.
"Listen to her," Chantay said. "Holly J always gets what she wants."
"You're better off on her good side than her bad side," Sav agreed, which gave Holly J a twinge of guilt. But he was right. She was a problem-solver, and her friends had faith in her, even if it wasn't always positive. She could use that faith, and her abilities positively here. She rubbed Anya's back and hoped everyone was right. For Anya's sake.
Anya's mother shuffled around the living room, rearranging the couch pillows that were only a millimeter askew. Anya hovered in the doorway, watching. Her mother's OCD-ish tendencies only made themselves apparently in times of high stress, and this afternoon had been pretty freaking stressful. Guilt was starting to eat at her stomach, namely because of the hateful things she'd said. She had certainly thought all of them at one time or another, but that didn't give her the right to say them. Deep down, she knew her friends were just trying to help. It wasn't like she'd reached out to them earlier, just yelled at Owen whenever she had the chance.
She certainly wasn't perfect. Why was she expecting any of them to be? They had lives, too. Sav's sister had gone missing earlier in the year. Holly J was scheduled for an organ transplant. And Sav was right, none of them had turned to drugs from some lame friend of Bianca DeSousa's in the Above the Dot bathroom. Anya wasn't even friends with Bianca. How did she get to this point?
Anya turned and went to her room without saying anything to her mother. She couldn't think of anything to say, really. An apology? A thank you? Telling her mother she hated her and would never speak to her again? Anya sort of wanted to do all three. She put her face in the pillow. Her mattress vibrated. Owen was calling. She ignored it. Owen was the one whom it would be easiest to face, but she didn't want to face him right now.
Instead, she thought about Sav. He looked good these days, scruffy but pulling it off, sort of moony-eyed, though Chantay swore she hadn't seen him with anyone except Mo Whoever and Ms. Oh. So unless he'd spontaneously turned gay or was secretly dating a teacher, neither of which was a likely scenario, he was just needlessly moony. Probably excited about graduating and going off to be a professional musician. Great. She could say she Knew Him When and no one would believe her. She could say she lost her virginity to him in a limo and it would be just the first of a lot of stories like that.
Anya thought about the way he'd hugged her before leaving. Tight and firm and warm. He hadn't been shying away from the hug like she expected. He smelled like Sav and she was surprised by how much she missed it. Missed him.
The thing was, she knew she didn't want Sav back. She'd done that a couple of times and it had been a disaster every time and she was honestly over it. She'd had Dr. Chris (she was not going to think about that), and she had Owen, and shouldn't that be good enough? Why was she purposefully trying to screw up whatever good things she had left? Why was she so quick to destroy herself? Anya MacPherson was pretty cool. Not the brightest, not the bravest, not the prettiest, not the anything-est, but pretty cool all the same. And she was slowly ruining that.
The phone buzzed against the mattress; just once this time, since she was getting a text. Probably Owen, wanting to know why she wasn't answering her phone. He'd been nice today, he'd been in a room with everyone (two gay guys, a lesbian, Anya's Type A best friend that he hated, and her ex-boyfriend) and he'd been polite and perfectly sociable. It wasn't exactly embracing his fellow man, but it was more tolerant than she would've otherwise suspected. She hoped she was a good influence on him. (Emphasis on was, because now she was probably just a druggie.)
Owen would be the easiest of any of them to face, because he hadn't known her as long and would probably be more forgiving. Their relationship was new, he was still trying to earn points. She could call him back and they'd meet for coffee and make out a little bit and talk about anything but this afternoon, and she'd forget all about it. It was an easy out.
An easy out. Little to no effort required. Like having a relationship with a doctor she never saw, so it would always be perfect. Like only applying to one university. Anya could be great at never excelling, at always middling.
She ignored Owen's voicemail and text (for now), and dialed the number she knew would be the best help.
"Holly J? It's Anya."