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It was a new day, the Doctor waited for Yaz to emerge from her apartment complex, so they could be off on their next adventure. She adjusted some of the controls to keep busy until the brunette entered the doors of the ship. Glee washed over her, she Immediately rounded the console to face Yaz. “Where to next? Historical event, something immersive culturally, or maybe a plain adventure?” She clasped her hands in front of her, gesturing towards Yaz for an answer.
That seemed a little wrong , there was no such thing as a ‘plain adventure’ for the Doctor. Yaz tilted her head at the blonde, knocking around an idea in her head. Her nerves had been creeping up her spine slowly since she had the idea of something different. It was just so personal but she was sure they were at that point where they could share things like this. “Actually Doctor,” She paused, swallowing her doubt. “How about I show you something?” She bit down on her bottom lip, preparing for a polite declination. A glint of hope still persisted, amongst her doubt.
The blonde smiled brightly at her. “Should I park somewhere else? She offered as confirmation that they would do what Yaz had planned. A break would be nice, she figured. The Doctor couldn’t really deny Yaz even if she tried, unless it were dangerous.
Yaz’s eyes widened. She hadn’t expected the Doctor to concede so easily. “No, here is fine!” Excitement buzzed through her body. “I know the way,” She nodded. Her feet followed before her brain caught up and she found herself waiting at the doors for the blonde.
When the Doctor finally got to the doors after a couple of switches and buttons, she held one open for Yaz. “Lead the way, Miss Khan,” she smiled allowing her to pass through the barrier into her world.
The two exited the ship. Yaz did the usual check into the courtyard to see if her family were near. She never wanted to answer the question of ‘What were you two doing in such a small box?’ It was something she tried hard not to think about.
“So,” The Doctor began. “Where are we off to?” She asked, widening her eyes searching their immediate surroundings.
Yaz held out her hand for the Doctor to take. “You’ll have to trust me on this,” The Doctor gladly took Yaz’s hand in her own. This was a habit, they held hands or just generally found any excuse to be touchy, or otherwise affectionate, neither quite knew what it meant they just knew they didn’t want it to stop. “It’s a secret, only Sonya and I know about it,” Yaz thought about how long it had been since they had been to this place together. “She probably forgot all about it by now,” Yaz shrugged. There was a tinge of sadness to that, this place was an all but forgotten memory. It was good though, it meant that she hadn’t needed this place anymore.
Words failed the Doctor. It had been so long for her since she had been a child and had places her younger self had gone to. It was mainly just the barn, away from the rest of the family. All alone because of difference, too different to not be alone.
Knowing that the Doctor would just shrug off any questions, Yaz decided not to pry to find out the Doctor’s inner thoughts. “Hey, it’s okay,” She stroked a thumb over the Doctor’s. “We’ve grown up, matured past the need to hide away. If I’m being honest, Sonya never needed it for that, it always was me,”
The Doctor nodded.
Then the pair went on their way again, hands melded together the whole way. Their journey entailed quite a few streets they needed to cross. A few turns here and there. Yaz even pointed out a couple of buildings she remembered, and little tidbit about it. A couple of times she explained her personal history there.
On the Doctor’s side of things, she was strangely quiet. She only asked a few questions or commented here and there. It must have been the fact that she wasn’t leading Yaz around somewhere, their roles were switched. The Doctor gave Yaz all the respect Yaz did when she was the one doing this.
After some time Yaz had just finally stopped. Unbeknownst to the Doctor, they had finally arrived at the main part of their destination. “Here we are,” Yaz said simply.
The Doctor shook her head, confused. “There’s nothing here, I see a field, a road and some trees?” The Doctor pointed out all of the things around them.
“In there,” Yaz pointed into the trees. “I used to come out here all the time as a kid, well when mum and dad didn’t know,” The trees seemed endless to Yaz as a kid, but it wasn’t actually that far to the other side. “One time Sonya followed me though, threatened to tell on me for being so far off without letting anybody know,”
“That is dangerous, we held hands the whole way here,”
Yaz looked down at their interlocked fingers. “I didn’t really care, the only things I cared about were getting about from my bullies,” She gave the Doctor’s hand a light squeeze. “Enough about that, you haven’t even seen it yet,” She looked back up and took the first step.
They walked into the grove. Yaz took a few turns. They came across a tree with a rope tied around it. It was old enough that the tree had grown over it. “Almost there!” Yaz said. She pulled the Doctor behind her until they stopped at a particular tree. The roots were coming out of the ground. A tripping hazard Yaz was no stranger to. She carefully shifted her feet and guided the Doctor closer. “This is it,” She said.
“A tree?” The Doctor asked. “Not that I’m making fun, because I’m not,” She didn’t want to sound like she was making fun of something Yaz was being vulnerable enough to share.
Using her other hand Yaz pointed upwards. “No, not just a tree,” There was an old treehouse high up in the tree. “I found it when I ran away from Izzy Flint and a couple of boys who were chasing me,” Yaz ran a hand over the bark of the tree. “Even followed me into here, luckily I found this treehouse, they couldn’t find me up there,” Yaz dropped the Doctor's hand. “I don’t think anyone had been to it in quite a long time,”
The Doctor couldn’t help but imagine a younger Yaz, running away, afraid. A part of her wished Yaz hadn’t let go of her hand.
The brunette walked around the tree looking for something. “It became mine-“ She said, reaching up into a knothole in a tree not too far from the one with the treehouse. ”Ah here it is,” She revealed a rope hidden inside.
“Are we using that to climb?” The Doctor asked warily. “How are you going to get it up-“
Yaz answered the Doctor’s question by swinging the rope up and catching it on something. “It’s got a piece of metal on the end, works like a grappling hook,” she gave a good tug on the rope to make sure it was sturdy. “It’s only to get to that branch there, I got tired of the scrapes from climbing without anything,” Yaz made her way onto the tree and the rope held her weight. She smiled to herself. Yaz very easily climbed the tree. Her muscle memory had served her well.
The Doctor wasn’t so lucky. She fumbled and slipped a couple of times before finally Yaz pulled her up into the treehouse.
It was definitely old. And unkempt. Obvious that no one had been here in a long time, the rain and dirt and twigs had made this place a new home. Along with a couple of bugs that Yaz just brushed away.
Nostalgia filled Yaz senses, mainly sight but the smell wasn't much different than it had been years ago. It was evident that the Doctor held appreciation for being allowed in here. She studied the room carefully, taking in each detail, learning new things about her. Suddenly, Yaz wanted to tell her everything about this place and what it had meant to her. There was no reason not to, the Doctor was here and willing to listen.
“I used to come here a lot, not always to hide from the kids at school,” Yaz picked up a couple of things that she had left here years ago. A toy police badge with all of the paint scrubbed off. She stroked a thumb across the plastic. “I came here to pretend I wasn’t me,” Her hands found another object, a glow star meant to stick on the ceiling. She figured it hadn’t withstood the test of time and fell. “I pretended I was who I wanted to be,” She replaced the objects. “I didn’t have to worry about being anything for anybody, I was me for me,”
The Doctor nodded. She stepped closer to Yaz. She wanted to hug her but this wasn’t the right time.
“There was just so much pressure, from school, from family,” Yaz sighed. “Not here, here I could write, say, or do whatever I wanted,” she gave a small smile. “Then Sonya followed, and she understood why I came here. I mean I told her, but she really understood it or at least pretended for my sake,” she found herself walking to a spot she had sat in a million times before. She crouched looking at it, her hand traced the words and carvings along the wall.
Hazel eyes scanned over the wood, lingering on a specific detail. A heart had been carved into the plank. It was old, there were initials carved within and a plus sign between. She didn’t quite know how to feel about it. Of course, Yaz had other people in her life at different points but it was just a little jarring to see it before ever hearing about them.
Seeing the Doctor staring, she followed the blonde’s line of sight. She nodded before quickly jumping to find an object she hoped was still hidden. “Ah,” she exclaimed. “Got it!” She pulled out a pocket knife she had shimmied between two boards.
Upon seeing the blade, the Doctor shook her head, coming out of her thoughts. “What’s that for?” She wasn’t afraid, she knew Yaz would never hurt anyone with it. It was just an odd shape, definitely not something that really suited Yaz. Intrigued, the Doctor watched Yaz intently.
Yaz sat herself in front of the heart, like she did oh so many years ago. She dug it into the wood above the heart. It was angled so that she could shave the wood. “This,” she pushed the blade down and through. Then she moved and did it again to get rid of the lines she had missed.
When Yaz was done the Doctor noticed something she hadn't before; Yaz had shaved that same spot before, the wood was significantly lower than the rest. “Oh,” The Doctor looked down. She felt ashamed, she hadn’t meant to make Yaz feel like she had to censor her life because of her. She wanted to know all of Yaz, the good and the bad. ”You didn’t have to-“
“I wanted to,” Yaz clarified. “Besides, nothing ever happened with her,” It was almost ritualistic for Yaz, letting go of the things that never were or things that ended poorly, things that would’ve built a layer of sadness if it were to be dwelled upon. Yaz stayed sitting in the same position. She pondered an action. Yaz tilted her head up. She lifted her hand with the knife within and she dug it into the wood. It was easier. Maybe because Yaz was older, or maybe because the wood was older. Maybe age just made certain things easier. She began with the heart first. That was easy enough.
The Doctor just watched her movements. Yaz had picked a spot near the one that had been shaved clean, but it was a whole new space. A brand new beginning.
Once Yaz deemed the heart acceptable she moved the dig the knife into the wood again. She slipped hitting a particular knot in the wood. Yaz flinched away, dropping the knife.
“Careful!” The Doctor lunged forward. A hand reached out for Yaz’s, she scanned the skin for any damage. She pulled the hand up and pressed a kiss to the skin. “Careful,” she said again in a whisper. Blush swept across her face, realizing what she had done.
Yaz looked up into hazel eyes. The Doctor’s hand was still on her own. “I will,” she nodded. She pressed a kiss of her own onto the Doctor’s hand. “I promise,” There was a moment of stillness before the Doctor let go and Yaz picked the knife up again. Yaz resumed carving the wood.
The Doctor noticed something about Yaz’s carving; she was making another heart, a second overlapping heart. “Yaz-”
“Shhh,” she quieted the blonde behind her. This was something she had always done in silence, it required concentration. The second heart was completed. Yaz looked at her work and smiled. Then she moved on to the initials. Her’s were easy “YK +” Plus what?
The Doctor’s stomach sank. Was Yaz revealing something to the Doctor? Maybe there was someone else. Maybe they’d stop-
Yaz briefly pondered what was in a name other than a title. Then she settled on something. “YK + TD” She leaned back to finally admire the finished product. It was perfect, more perfect than any of the others before. This love was reciprocated.
The Doctor stood behind Yaz. She stared at what the brunette had created. Yaz reached up and pulled her lower. Yaz adjusted herself to face the Doctor. Her hand guided the blonde's to touch the new lines of the carving. Only putting light pressure on it. The Doctor let out a shaky breath. She turned her head to look at Yaz.
Brown eyes looked up into caring hazel ones. “You can be free here too, Doctor,” Yaz leaned up and captured her lips with her own. It was a soft press. This was far from their first kiss but somehow it felt more official.
The Doctor closed her eyes and returned the affection. This was confirmation, that Yaz feels the same, there’s not anybody else; Yaz wouldn’t be leaving her yet. A tear slipped from the side of her eye. Yaz pulled back. Suddenly, the Doctor was full of regret about that one tear.
The brunette reached up and brushed it away. She smiled up at the Doctor. “This one won’t be going away,” She glanced over at the Doctor’s hand still on the carving, her thumb stroking over the ‘YK’.
The Doctor nodded. She looked between brown eyes, asking a silent question. Luckily, Yaz’s intuition was spot on because she pulled her in again. The Doctor lost her balance. She fumbled forward onto her knees in front of Yaz. They kissed once again. It was more passionate, more needy, just more. It left them breathless.
Yaz’s eyes opened slowly, her gaze swept across the Doctor’s lips. She took in the sight of plum colored spots littering soft pink lips. She couldn’t help but swipe her thumb across them, mesmerized. She bit down on her bottom lip albeit nervously. Her voice came as a low whisper. “I bruised your lips,” It was laced with disbelief.
“It’s okay, they'll fade, no need to worry,” The Doctor ran a quick tongue over the blemishes. Her mind must have been playing tricks on her because she could swear that she tasted sweetness there. “I don’t think I mind them from you,” She gave Yaz a reassuring smile.
Yaz smiled back at her. A thought flashed in her mind. She shook her head, ridding herself of the remnants of doubt. “If only I had known, I never thought I would be able to do this. I get to live my truth, here and now, with you,” She swallowed. Yaz had come so far. They both had.
“We don’t have to keep it hidden,” She brushed some of Yaz’s hair to the side.
A beat passed. “No, I suppose we don’t,” She said finally with a small smile.