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โธบโธบโธบโธบโธบโธบโธบโธบโธบโธบ
โโโThe Walls, whereย isย she?โ your paranoid thought rolled about your head as you were constantly glancing around at your surroundings, making sure to keep your eyes and ears alert as you kept watch for any sudden movement that would tell you she was nearby.
โโThe lush and vibrant trees provided a calm, soothing rustle as their leaves danced in the sunlight -and the various birds that joined in with it made a nice melody- quite the contrast from your erratically beating heart that was effectively pumping adrenaline throughout the entirety of your body. Your (H/C) hair fussed wildly around your head in the false wind produced from your 3DMG, the wires shooting out at your command and accelerating you in your desired direction -hopefully away from her. Having just given it your all in your efforts to lose her, you let out a few quiet pants from your prior exhaustion, feeling it slowly catching up to you but not yet strong enough to make you fly to a nearby tree branch to take a quick break, โAfter all, who knows if I actually managed to shake her off? That girl can be deadly silent if she wants to, I know that for sure.โ At that thought, your mind flashed back to every single time youโve been just minding your own business; every example almost always ending with you jumping when she seemed to appear out of thin air -although you couldnโt help but admit to yourself that your viewpoints were at least a little biased.
โโYet despite everything that was going on, you were having the time of your life.
โโA barely audible stir sounded from behind you as you bobbed upwards with your gear, causing you to whip your head around to see if the person you were trying to hide from was there. However, you were left utterly surprised and with a sinking feeling in your gut when your spheres searched the scene and came up empty, โHuh? Iย sworeย I heard something behind me,โ you reasoned with yourself as you sank lower once more, starting to turn your focus back in front of you, โMaybe it was just a squirrel or something...? I donโt know, that sounds too clichรฉ to be-โ
โโโGah!โ
โโA scream ripped out of your throat as the one you were trying to avoid popped up not too far in front of you, her usual blank face mostly present -save for the faint mischievous smile that was painted on her lips and the soft twinkle hidden deep within her lead orbs. โHowโd you even do that?!โ you cried, mouth open in partial shock as you slowed yourself down, your girlfriend doing the same -but backwards as she stayed facing you- shortly after. The girl only let the small grin grow, a teasing aspect about her as she spoke up, โI used my gear.โ You could only roll your (E/C) orbs as you flew off to a nearby tree branch, the ravenette close behind.
โโIt was a rather sunny day, breeze-free and oddly warm for the beginning of April -yet you didnโt dare think about it, choosing to bask in the gift nature graced you with than inquire about it. Shadis had informed you and the rest of the 104th Trainee Corps that today was a wonderful day to get some 3DMG practice in, something he quite often liked to incorporate into your training for reasons you couldnโt fathom -other than the loathable man simply being sadistic. Earlier when said training had just begun, you, Mikasa, Armin and Eren had all been in a self-formed group, but you and Mikasa had managed to sneak off from them, leaving the blonde and brunette to handle themselves to find wooden titan cut-outs to โkill.โ
โโAnd it was these rare moments alone with the girl that you cherished the most; given that they were seemingly few and far between.
โโThe heels of your boots landed onto the wood with a dull click, the same sound soon replicated as Mikasa followed your example, โI thought I was doing so good thoughโฆโ you mumbled out in partial disappointment, โI really thought that I had lost her back there, but yet again, she manages to surprise me. At some point Iโm going to be surprised when she doesnโt, only resulting in the same problem once again.โ
โโโDonโt worry about it,โ she spoke smoothly, putting a finger under your chin as she gained your attention, meeting her coal eyes up to yours, โYouโll stump me one of these days.โ Closing the distance, she brought her soft and plump lips to yours as she kissed you briefly and gently, captivating you with their intoxicating ability and leaving your lips with a tingling feeling. Just as you had realized what was happening though, it was already over.
โโResisting the urge to let out a whine, you opted to murmur out your doubt to her statement, โYou sureโฆ?โ
โโโMhm,โ she affirmed, humming and showing you the small curvature fabricating on her lips before she pulled away, โNow letโs go beat Eren, yeah?โ she encouraged, referencing the so-called dare the turquoise-eyed male had made at the start of practice today about who could get the most training points -as he always did. The smile you gave in response to her words was bright, reflecting how happy you were just being yourself with your partner, โSounds like a plan!โ If you had to be honest, you werenโt one hundred percent sure what the adolescent saw in you. That wasnโt to say that you were ugly or dumb -no, you considered yourself no less than average looking, and you actually picked up on things rather quickly in your opinion- but you always felt the smallest bit insecure about your relationship solely because of how talented and pretty the oriental girl was.
โโWhen she had asked you out, you had been utterly shocked, not expecting someone likeย herย -the all mighty and perfect Mikasa- to likeย youย -someone who struggled with basic hand-to-hand combat. Granted, you never actually put any effort into it -so you supposed you could have some hidden potential talent there- but you had never had enough interest to push yourself to try harder, โWeโre not graded on it anyways, so thereโs not really a point.โ
โโThe both of you jumped off of the sturdy branch, soon after swinging up and down between the trees as you both made your way either further into or out of the forest. Looking to her, you shot out your wires and pressed the trigger on your one handle to boost yourself with gas, โShe is really pretty though, shiny beautiful straight hair, pudgy lips, symmetrical face, captivating eyesโฆ I genuinely believe that she could have gotten anyone here to date her, but she chose me.โ You knew for a fact that she couldโve asked Jean Kirstein out -an overly pompous male whose only goal here in the military was to get further into the Walls- and even though sheโs confessed to you that youโre the only one who makes her heart beat faster or the only one who can make her properly blush, that self-doubt still swirled deep within your conscious.
โโโUp ahead.โ she voiced, nodding her head to her left a little as she called out for your attention. Moving your sight to where she directed, you could easily see the wooden cut-out of what looked to be a nine to ten metre titan, the both of you wordlessly zooming closer to the false beast in unison once she knew you had seen it. It was only when you neared it that her quiet voice spoke up again, โGo ahead and get it first,โ she started, โI know you need the points.โ
โโAs much as you wouldโve liked to have refused the offer and let the dark-haired girl go first, she was right -you desperately needed the points and honestly couldnโt afford to let her take the lead. So without much of a choice, you sent her a guilty and apologetic grin before shooting yourself ahead, swinging down towards its ankles first to cut those out before bringing you and your blades closer to its faux neck to carve out a wedge. As gracefully as you could manage, you flew yourself past its nape without looking back just yet, choosing to instead quickly shoot your wires to the nearest trunk of bark available to observe how well -or badly- you had done.
โโWith your lower back flat against the tree, you gripped your handles tight with a huff and scanned over the nape of said cut-out -seeing that while you did cut the neck somewhat properly- you didnโt do it as deeply as you should have, causing a small bit of annoyance to stem within you, โI should really be more concerned about this, after all, this could end up getting me killed one day.โ Momentarily dropping your spheres to the slice of wood that had fallen onto the grass-covered ground, you picked your eyes back up when you head a burst of steam, a flash of white zooming around the titan for a second before a loud clash was heard -a set of sharp blade metal against modified oak. And based on the second wedge that had joined your first one, you could only assume that your girlfriend had managed to cut the nape of the pretend beast as well -albeit more effectively than you.
โโMikasa landed on a nearby tree, a little lower than you -but within hearing distance- as she looked up at you as if sheย hadnโtย just done something that seemed impossible to others -you yourself had been starting to question if it was physically possible to cut the nape as Shadis instructed until just now, โWe should start heading back,โ she informed nonchalantly, breathing regularly and taking a second to look up to the sky as if she was able to see the sun โWe donโt have a lot of time left.โ
โโโI suppose youโre right,โ you agreed, โLetโs go.โ
โโThe both of you leisurely started to go towards the direction where you believed everyone else to be, you bringing up some dialogue as the two of you strung yourselves along, โHow did you do that so quickly?โ you quizzed, still stuck on what she had done a few minutes ago at most, โI mean, Iโve been trying to make a cut like that since our very first training exercise, and you just casually did it but like ten times faster than I couldโve ever dreamed.โ
โโThe young woman coughed slightly into her elbow, soon after hiking her crimson scarf up the lower parts of her face, โIโm not sure,โ came her voice, albeit it partly muffled behind the beloved fabric, โI was tryโฑโฟแต แตแต โฑแตแตโป...โ Even though you did your best to catch onto her words at the end, you were unable to -and you supposed that if you werenโt currently swinging through the air at high speeds, you would have been able to make out the end of her sentence. But given that youย wereย and the air was swiftly blowing past your ears, you missed the end of her phrase. โIโm sorry, what?โ
โโShe turned towards you now, her face holding the smallest rouge tint to it as she spoke up once again, the only thing different being that she was louder this time, โI was trying to impress you.โ You could feel yourself redden this time -and despite you being a tad bit flustered- you still broke out into a grin that the girl would try and do something like that, โNot like it takes much from her for her to impress me, but she doesnโt need to know that.โ
โโโOh Mika, you donโt have to worry about impressing me or anything,โ you reassured the female, just about to say more when she suddenly cut you off in a hushed, almost panicked shush with widened orbs of grey, โหขสฐสฐ...!โ It was so uncharacteristic of the girl to be afraid of something, to be as anxious as she seemed to be right now; it was a side of her that no one but you ever saw you supposed, and one that you would have never guessed to ever see when you first met her based on her independent and somewhat strict personality. Not long after the sound had managed to escape her mouth you heard an all too familiar voice call out through the forest on your right, โHey Armin, I think I finally did it!โ
โโOh, how youโve grown to almost hate that loud, boisterous vocalisation that belonged to none other thanย Eren Jaeger. The boy was constantly dragging Mikasa away from you in your scarce moments together, and to top it all off, he was the main reason that the prodigy and you kept your relationship a secret. And yet, you still cared for him deep down because, despite it all,ย it wasnโt his fault. It was no oneโs really, no one except for perhaps you for having a problem with it.
โโBut that didnโt mean that you were always happy to see him.
โโYou frowned as you saw Mikasa -with her once more emotionless faรงade- veer off to the loud-mouthed male without a second glance to you, hating the jealousy that bubbled within you, โI know that she doesnโt like him, and Iโm almost certain that he doesnโt like her, but it still hurtsโฆโ Soon you were able to see the trainee and his friend, his seemingly always present bobbed best friend to the boyโs right -the both of them unaware of either of your presences so far, โI donโt know Eren,โ Armin admitted, โMikasaโs pretty advanced.โ
โโโWell, yeah, but-โ you tuned out their conversation, feeling a little too downcast to force yourself to listen, instead following after your partner with weighed down lips as you watched the oaken haired male jump in surprise -Mikasa scaring her adoptive brother almost the same way that she had to you not too long ago, โSee, it wasnโt anything special what happened before. She treats me like she does her friends -or even worse, siblings- and-โ you cut your thoughts off, shaking your head in disappointment to yourself, โNo (Y/N), stop it. She just isnโt ready yet.โ
โโโ(Y/N)! How many did you kill?โ Eren bellowed out.
โโโH-Huh? Oh yeah, the dummies.โ Recalling what you had done, you counted in your head, now at Mikasaโs left side as the four of you were lined up from your left to right; first you, then Mikasa, Eren and finally Armin, โI think I only managed to snag two,โ you admitted, looking down a little in embarrassment at your slight incompetence -to be fair, you werenโt looking for the fake titans for about half of the allotted time, instead choosing to enjoy your limited time with Mikasa.
โโโReally?โ he asked in surprise, brows raising as he processed your answer, โWhat happened? I know youโve done better before.โ
โโโI was a little distractedโฆโ you confessed, a small blush on your face as you recalled the quick kiss you had shared with Mikasa. โBy what?โ he inquired, confused as he looked back to you from his position slightly in front, his topaz hues landing first on you before they drifted over to Mikasa and gained a jovial aspect about them, โOh, waitโฆ donโt tell me itโs because of her.โ he jested, a slight sparkle in his juvenile eyes as he teased you. In your head he seemed to almost double over in his own humourless joke, losing himself in his obnoxious, irritating laugh as he went completely oblivious to the way Mikasa paled over -said girl soon jumping in and speaking up, โShe isnโt.โ
โโThis was something that Eren had been doing a lot recently; making comments about you and Mikasa potentially being together. You werenโt completely sure if he was trying to hint to the both of you that he was aware of your relationship or not, however -as rude as it sounded- you figured that might be expecting a little too much from the usually unobservant boy. Despite his comments though, they never really bothered you. The blunt way Mikasa always said no however did -you were used to the more caring side of the woman, not this almost cold side of her as she blatantly denied your relationship without a second missed. The metaphorical dagger her words represented stored itself deep in your heart, the emotional pain becoming apparent immediately as you fought back a grimace, โI donโt wanna have to hide myself like this, butโฆ I donโt wanna lose Mikasa even more. Sheโs so kind and caring, protective even when itโs just us, it would be a dream come true if she would just be ok with our relationship being open.โ
โโSnapping yourself back into reality, you heard Shadisโ booming voice ring throughout the trees, โReturn to base right now unless youโd like to be on latrine duty, shit-faces!โ You could only resist the roll of your eyes that you felt coming on, feeling bothered by the subject of your previous thought and the fact that you had to head back to the training grounds to start yet another training exercise -seeing as it wasnโt even halfway into the day.
โโYou pried yourself away from your negative outlook and noted to yourself how Eren was now babbling away to Armin, the both of them going ahead as the rather quiet and shy cerulean eyed teen became absorbed in the same conversation as the one who started it. That wasnโt what was capturing your attention the most though -no, that was saved for the fact that Mikasa was slowing down and hanging around you, not keeping up with the other two soldiers in training as she looked to you briefly. She nodded her head over to the side, signalling to you without words that she wanted to speak to you in private.
โโAnd when she expertly used her gear to expertly manoeuvre herself above the uneven terrain, you found yourself without anything better to do than follow her and hear her out, โWho knows, maybe after all these remarks Eren keeps making she feels ready? Iโฆ I hope so, I donโt know how much longer I can take things going like this.โ You couldnโt help but feel some form of nervousness bubble up in the pit of your stomach -and whether or not it blossomed from the anticipation of what she wanted to talk about or the fact that you were directly disobeying Shadisโ orders you werenโt completely sure- what you were sure about however was the fact that it only became stronger when the midnight-haired girl came to a stop, landing on a close branch and patiently waiting for you to do the same.
โโYou released the triggers to your 3DMG as you came to a halt, catching your balance with a touch of your arm to the treeโs trunk.
โโโ(Y/N), I think Erenโs starting to catch onto us,โ she brought up, bringing her one hand up to grasp and tug at her worn scarf -a nervous habit you had previously noted she had, โIf he found out, I donโtโฆ I donโt know what Iโd do.โ
โโIt was the same reason she provided every time Eren made a dumb joke about either you liking the girl -or vice versa- and each and every time the same reasoning fell past her lips and onto your ears you felt yourself grow more and more hopeless that one day she would be comfortable enough to tell others about your relationship, โMaybe the real problem here isnโt about her being nervous to tell Eren that she likes girls, but rather that she embarrassed that sheโs datingย meย in particular? I mean, I donโt recall him ever being homophobic,โโ you remarked to yourself, all the times that Jaeger had made a casual comment about same-sex couples forcing themselves to the forefront of your mind, โMatter of fact, he seems rather supportive of them. I know that Ymir and Krista donโt bother him at all.โ
โโResisting the urge to let out a discouraged huff, you reassured her, โI understand Mika,โ you told her softly, your verbal response differing quite a bit from your inner thoughts, โI know how much you donโt want to tell him yet.โ Giving her the best, most convincing grin you could manage, you felt a wave of relief -mixed with some discontent- as she seemed to find no problem with it, โThank you, (Y/N).โ Her eyes were focused on the thick wooden branch below your feet, tracing the ridges of the bark with her optics as she let out a small sigh of ease.
โโโHere, why donโt you go ahead first? Yโknow, so then Eren doesnโt suspect anything.โ You took yourself off-guard with how persuasive your words came together as, finding yourself easily falling into the lie as you told her that once again you would create some distance between you both so as to not arouse suspicion. Mikasa connected her eyes to your (E/C) ones, a kind, small smile to be found on her face as she gave you an appreciative nod of her head, โIโll be quick, donโt take too long, ok?โ
โโโI wonโt.โ You couldnโt bring yourself to watch her as she sped off, in a hurry so then you could get back as quickly as possible and attempt to avoid the wrath of Shadis.
โโAnd yet the considerate gesture left you feeling empty.
โโYou put your blades away and leaned your back against the trunk of the tree, the happy chirping of the birds and the occasional scutter of a squirrel doing nothing to distract you or provide you with any form of contentment, โNo, she wouldnโt lie to me about her reasoning as to why she would want to hide us. I canโt blame her either, after all, Iโm pretty sure she has slight abandonment issues,โ voiced the optimist in your head, trying to convince you that everything was ok and that you were just overthinking things, โShe lost both of her parents when she was young, and then her adoptive parents, the Jaegers. All she has left from her childhood is Eren, and possibly Armin too.โ A sudden thought passed your mind as you froze, a sense of dread spreading about your body, โWait a second, would she choose Eren over me if he did end up disapproving of us?โ
โโFiddling with your thumbs, you allowed yourself to sink down the trunk, soon wrapping your arms around your legs in an attempt to console yourself as you found yourself without a certain answer. If you were going to be honest, you didnโt even feel like you were that good of friends with either Armin or Eren, so it wasnโt like you could count on them being in your favour -in fact, you postulated that the only real reason that they hung out with you was because you were โgood friendsโ with Mikasa. You always seemed to feel like a third wheel -or perhaps the term fourth wheel would work better- whenever you had training activities together or were sitting together in the Mess Hall, but it wasnโt like you had made many friends here either. Matter of fact, you had been too shy to talk to anyone here. The only person who came from your hometown, Jinae, was Marco Bodt -and the both of you even seemed to have an unspoken, mutual respect for each other- but it wasnโt like you actually knew the tall, freckled male personally.
โโโSweet Maria, I need to make more friendsโฆ Maybe the reason Iโm overreacting is solely because I havenโt branched out enough. I mean, itโs not like Mikasa is treating me badly or anything, right? The only reason Iโm feeling bad is my own fault, soโฆโ You shook your head, rubbing your temples as you tried to focus yourself, โOk, making new friends probably wouldnโt be a bad start, but there has to be something else Iโm doing wrong. Maybe she reallyย isย embarrassed to be with me...? Is it because Iโm too weak? Because Iโm not strong enough?โ
โโYou felt your eyes widen as you came to a realisation, letting out a small gasp at its obviousness โThat must be it, she is embarrassed to admit to others that we're dating because Iโm physically weak! I mean, Iโm sure someone as powerful as her wouldnโt like to be seen with someone like me.โ
โโA determined flash swept across your eyes, you feeling more confident now that you believed you had a way to save your relationship with the breathtaking ravenette, โIโll just have to find someone to help me out with training myself to get better! If I can do that, then Iโm sure sheโll feel more confident and comfortable to tell everyone that Iโm hers..โ The hope that pooled in your chest was rather dangerous, yet said hazard went unknown to you as you used your gear to launch yourself off of the wood with spiralling wires, they themselves soon embedding deep within the trunk of another tree as they soundlessly supported your weight.
โโโAll I have to do is get stronger, and then Mikasa wonโt want to hide our relationship anymore. That relationship Iโve always dreamed of having with her might not be as far out of reach as I once thought!โ
โโIt had been quite the while since you had felt this relieved, but you had to admit that it feltย nice.