Work Text:
Nothing will ever be the same as it was, he knows that. He's known that ever since the night the Wens killed his parents and destroyed his home. Since the subsequent war left him with countless scars that will never heal. Since his sister died. Since his br- since Wei Wuxian died. Since he was left to raise his nephew almost entirely on his own. He’s always known, deep down, that he will never again feel the lighthearted happiness he felt in his youth, but knowing doesn't stop the pain or the tears or the nightmares. It doesn't stop the inexplicable feeling of isolation in a place as bustling with life as Lotus Pier.
Jiang Cheng is no fool, he knows that objectively things are much better than they were only months ago. Ever since Wei Wuxians revival, which he pointedly refuses to discuss or think about any longer than strictly necessary, things have gotten better. Maybe not for his emotional well being, but for the cultivation world, Wei Wuxains return has had an overall positive impact. He wishes he could appreciate it as much as everyone around him seems to be. After vague details of the events at Guanyin Temple and Jin Guagyaos various misdeeds became known, the Yiling Laozu went from being the boogie man in tales that scared children into behaving to a human being. A man who tragically lost control of his powers, slipped into madness, and then perished. Cultivators had no choice but to respect him, even if only to please his husband, and the common folk simply moved on to the more relevant gossip and rumors surrounding Jin Guangyao.
Jiang Cheng refuses to do either. He will not respect Wei Wuxian and he will not allow himself to move on. None of those people will ever know the pain of kneeling before their parents and sisters’ plaques in the ancestral hall and having to tell them that the man responsible for their deaths is back. And even worse, for some fucking reason some sad and tired part of him wants nothing more than to be able to forgive him like everyone else had. Admitting it to them, and to himself, feels like a betrayal. Even though he and Wei Wuxian had left off on a slightly-better-than-usual note that night at Guanyin Temple. Even though he knows that both his sister and his father would want nothing more than for him and Wei Wuxian to reconcile, after he's dedicated the past thirteen years of his life to hating him with his whole soul.. How could he? He can't. And he wont.
Not even if for some god forsaken reason the man is standing in front of him in the gates of Lotus Pier, wearing an awkward smile and offering an even more awkward greeting. “Sect Leader Jiang!” Jiang Cheng refuses to acknowledge the sting he feels at being greeted in such a formal way by him. ”We apologize for arriving unannounced like this. We just happened to be helping with a haunting just down south of here and... figured we should… stop by?” He began to trail off near the end of his explanation, instead turning to Lan Wangj, probably looking to have him provide an affirmation to his story or provide respite from the tensity laying thick in the air.
Jiang Cheng took a moment to collect himself as the two seemed to be having a whole conversation via eye contact alone. He let his eyes slip shut as he inhaled a breath, letting the scent of the lotus’ and the water in the pier calm him slightly, before exhaling in a sigh that would be seen as over dramatic if it came from anyone other than Jiang Cheng. “I am busy, find someone else to bother.”
As he turns to leave Wei Wuxian suddenly shouts “Jin Ling has been cursed!”
He instantly freezes in place before snapping his head around to look at Wei Wuxian. “What?” Wei Wuxian visibly gulps before continuing “Jin Ling got cu-” “Is he okay!? Why didnt you say that before you fucking dolt!?” Jiang Cheng marches forward as he shouts, Lan Wangji puts an arm out to block him from Wei Wuxian and that only pisses him off more. “Where the hell is he?!” He is just barely stopping himself from releasing Zidian, and he’s vaguely aware of Lan Wangjis hand moving to rest on Bichen as he continues to guard Wei Wuxian. “Sect Leader Jiang, calm yourself. Young master Jin is not in any imminent danger.” As Lan Wangji speaks, Wei Wuxians use the shift in Jiang Cheng's attention to move fully behind the taller man.
From his newly found position of safety Wei Wuxian finally finds the guts to speak up, “He's really not! I swear! We were out on a night hunt and he stepped in an array without meaning to and we’ve already figured out how to fix it! We just need you to watch him for a day or so!” He's left nearly gasping for breath after pushing out the words as fast he possibly could. The silence following his speech is somehow the loudest thing Jiang Cheng has ever heard. He takes a shaky breath, counts down from three in his head, and miraculously manages to not behead Wei Wuxian where he stands. “Where is he?” The question seems simple but Wei Wuxian can clearly feel the underlying message of ‘if you don't show me to my nephew within the next thirty seconds I will personally see to it that you are publicly executed’ and is quick to respond “He's in an inn just a few minutes away, follow us.”
_____
As soon as they walk through the door to the room Wei Wuxian had rented at the inn, Jiang Cheng notices that something is wrong. Very, very, very wrong. Leaning over a table sitting in the center of the room and seemingly guarding Suihua is Lan Sizhui, who Jiang Cheng has only seen in person a handful of times but he knows is a friend of Jin Ling's. His head snaps towards the group of adults as they enter the room and he immediately sprints up to Lan Wangji and begins speaking in a mildly panicked and utterly exasperated tone, “Father! Thank goodness your back, please tell Jingyi that swords are not to be given to children under any circumstances!” Jiang Cheng quickly decides to deal with the shock of finding out that the esteemed Hanguang-Jun apparently has a teenaged son at a later date, and instead turns to scan the rest of the room for his nephew. Near the back of the room there is another Lan disciple, probably the “Jingyi” Lan Sizhui had mentioned, and another young man who he does not recognize immediately both leaning over the bed, between the two he can see familiar yellow fabric perched upon it.
He makes a move to go see what state Jin Ling is in before Wei Wuxian grabs his arm “Let me explain fi-” Jiang Cheng shakes his arm out of his grasp, out of patience and eager to see Jin Ling he completely ignores Wei Wuxian and instead calls out for his nephew “Jin Ling!?”... The room goes completely silent for a few painfully slow moments before a child's voice shouts “Jiujiu!”
The two disciples standing in front of the bed look at each other and then back down before moving to the side. Jiang Chengs jaw definitely does not drop because that would be a bad look for a sect leader, but he is certainly surprised by what can only be a four year old at most Jin Ling, sitting in a pile of his now far too large robes and reaching out towards Jiang Cheng “Jiujiu!” He repeats as he makes a grabbing motion with his still outstretched hands. Jiang Cheng glances at Wei Wuxian who looks to be on the verge of passing out from how taut his entire body is, before walking over and picking up the tiny Jin Ling who giggles happily at the attention.
He wants to be mad, and he's certain he will be once he puts Jin Lin down, but seeing and holding him like this is bringing back the memories of a time where the loss of his sister and his brother was still a very fresh wound. A time when his nephew was the only thing in the world that made him feel any will to keep going. He can't help but hold him closer and kiss the crown of his head as he sits down on the bed. He can feel the eyes on him from the others in the room and is vaguely aware of Wei Wuxian saying something to Lan Wangji that has him and the disciples leaving the room before coming closer, but he doesn't fully register anything other than Jin Lings warmth until Wei Wuxian is tentatively sitting next to him on the bed and looking at him with an emotion in his eyes that Jiang Cheng refuses to place.
“I...I’m sorry.” His voice is shaking and he has to look away from Jiang Cheng as he says it, and Jiang Cheng is glad he does because he doesn't want to know if he would break under his gaze. He pets Jin Ling's back and shifts him so he can rest his head in the crook of his neck, taking a moment to think before he responds. “For what?” He asks, and he can't stop himself from the bitter edge his words take on as he continues “For not telling me Jin Ling got cursed?” Or for killing my family? Or maybe for abandoning me even though we promised to stay together? Are the questions left unsaid, simply implied. He is pointedly looking anywhere but Wei Wuxian as he says it and he fully expects him to get up and leave the room after having his apology shot down. To go hug Lan Wangji and huddle with the juniors, to leave him alone with a toddler aged Jin Ling, to once again choose his new family over what should be theirs.
Instead he sees him shift out of the corner of his eye, not standing to leave but simply leaning forward to rest his head in his hands. Jiang Cheng feels his blood run cold at what is clearly the sound of Wei Wuxian crying and trying to be subtle about it. He wouldn't know how to respond to that even if he wanted to so instead he shifts Jin Ling once more and lets the boy softly grab his hand as he starts to drift off to sleep, he starts rocking him softly to help speed up the process.
They sit in silence for what can only be five minutes at most, but it feels like an eternity. By the time Wei Wuxians sobs turn to shaking breathes Jin Ling is fast asleep in Jiang Chengs arms. He wants to get up and tear the place apart and light it on fire and let Wei Wuxian burn, he wants to stay here forever and never let him choose another family over him again. He's nearly convinced himself he's insane by the time Wei Wuxian speaks up, “I know you dont forgive me, and that's ok because I know I don't deserve it, but Jin Ling had told me to at least try. Well he told me before-” He gestures to Jin Ling, who has started to drool all over Jiang Chengs shoulder, “-and you deserved to hear it, even if you didn't want to.” He lets out a sigh and rubs at his tear swollen eyes before standing up.
Jiang Cheng feels frozen in place, both because of what Wei Wuxian had just said and because oh god he's leaving he's going to leave and choose them over you again. After standing by the bed for a moment he seemed to have realized that Jiang Cheng wasn't going to say anything, so he turned and started walking towards the door. Jiang Cheng suddenly felt like he was seventeen again, losing his brother because his dumb brain was too fucked up to find the right response before it was too late.
“Wei Ying!” His voice breaks from how fast he pushes the shout from his lungs and he immediately hates himself for sounding so desperate, now he looks like a goddamn fool because he worked himself up over this stupid shit.
But it works, Wei Wuxian stops and turns to him tilting his head slightly, silently questioning him. Jiang Cheng realizes he should probably lay Jin Ling down before he ends up waking him up on accident, trying to be as quick and gentle as possible. He transfers him from his lap to the bed. After he makes sure the boy is still asleep he turns to Wei Wuxian. For a moment they simply looked at each other. One of them recently back from the dead and in the process of building his own loving home, the other filled with a lingering rage and left clinging to the scraps of what was once his family. He'd find how different they were and how much they had changed funny if he wasn't on the verge of having a mental breakdown.
“... Wei Ying I… I'm still mad… and I-” He takes a moment to stop the tears threatening to spill before continuing “I don't know if I can ever forgive you… but I…” He closes his eyes for a moment before looking directly into Wei Wuxians. “I want to try. For Jin Ling and for Yanli and for Mom and Dad, I will try.” It was Wei Wuxians turn to freeze in place, staring at Jiang Cheng in shock as the gears in his head were turning so hard and fast that they were nearly audible. For a few seconds they stood in silence as Wei Wuxian processed what he just heard and Jiang Cheng tried not to take everything he just said back and storm out of the room in an embarrassed rage. He can practically hear Yanli laughing at him from the afterlife.
Wei Wuxian seemed to finally understand what he had just been told because he suddenly burst into tears. Very loud and dramatic tears. He practically throws himself at Jiang Cheng and immediately buries his face in his non-drool covered shoulder and hugs him so tight Jiang Chengs feels like all of his organs are going to be squeezed out of his body. “You're going to kill me Wei Ying, loosen your grip a bit you barbarian!” The only response he gets is garbled nonsense spoken into his now soaking wet shoulder and an even harder squeeze. Jiang Cheng definitely does not start crying as well and he most certainly doesnt hug his stupid dumb idiot brother back just as hard.
_____
After a very concerned Lan Wangji barged his way into the room very clearly ready to commit several acts of homicide if needed, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng had parted. Jiang Cheng went to pick up the still very tiny Jin Ling who made it clear he was not thrilled about being woken up by such loud noises as Wei Wuxian explained why he looked like he just cried an entire oceans worth of tears to Lan Wangji and Sizhui.
Jiang Cheng found himself smiling without meaning to for the first time in years as he listened to the chaos around him and once again held Jin Ling close to him to calm him down after his nap was rudely interrupted, he knew for a fact that Yanli was laughing at him. He must look a lot like Father right now.
_____
As Jiang Cheng takes Jin Ling back to Lotus Pier with him, Wei Wuxian reassures him again that they have already figured out the way to lift the curse and he and his little group leave to settle it as the sun begins to set. Arriving at his home with a very young Jin Ling cradled in his arms garners him a few curious glances from some of the workers and disciples, though they know better than to ask. Especially when Jiang Cheng seemed to be more exhausted than many of them had seen in their lives.
When he enters his room it takes all of his strength to stop himself from collapsing on the bed and sleeping for the next week. That would be bad for Jin Ling, so instead he settles himself on the bed and lets his nephew explore the room.
He lets his thoughts wander as he watches the young boy waddle around the room.Though just as he begins to think about his conversation with Wei Wuxain he feels Jin Ling pawing at the side of his bed, asking to be boosted up. Jiang Cheng is grateful that the curse didn't seem to wipe his memories, it would be much harder to care for him if it had.
“Im sleepy Jiujiu.” Jin Ling announces with a yawn, grabbing at the blankets on the bed as he searches for a way underneath them. Jiang Cheng doesn't even try to stop the smile that finds its way onto his face as he pulls up the covers and lets Jin Ling get comfortable before tucking him in. “G’night Jiujiu.” Is the last thing Jin Ling mummers as he quickly falls asleep. “Goodnight, A-Ling.” Jiang Cheng whispers in return, leaning down to kiss the boy on the forehead.
He asks for a cot to be sent to his room and puts out the lanterns keeping the area lit. When he awakes in the morning and stands from where the cot was laid on the floor, he sees a now much larger teenaged Jin Ling asleep in his bed. He finds himself smiling yet again as he quietly begins preparing for what was probably going to be a very chaotic day.
_____
Time continues marching on and as Jiang Cheng had said, forgiveness was not something that came easy to him. There were days, weeks, even months where when he saw Wei Wuxian all he could see was the blood on his hands and all he could hear were his parents last words and sisters' final gasps of air. But as time went on it happened less and less. His old family would wait for him patiently in the afterlife and cheer him on as he let himself build a new one in the world of the living. He had his brother again, a brother-in-law who he's learned to tolerate, and now he has two nephews who are both going to change the world for the better. He can tell.
He still has permanent scars and nightmares of a war that was a decades ago. He was right about never feeling the lightheartedness of his youth again, but he's learned that there are other ways to be happy. And as he grows older and older he realizes, Lotus Pier hasn't felt lonely in years, and it never will again. He has his family again.