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Dungeons and Dragons, Minus the Dungeons

Summary:

The Avengers were enjoying living their day-to-day lives, until they got word of dragons attacking New York.

Notes:

Hi everyone, there was supposed to be some italics in this, but I couldn't figure out how to add them on AO3, so we're going to have to live without any until I figure it out.
[Edit: I figured it out!]

I'm not sure how many chapters this is going to be, but each one should make sense in its own, if you only want to read one or two.

If you see any mistakes, please let me know in the comments!

If you have any questions about the archive warnings, a brief description containing spoilers is in the end notes of each chapter.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Scott Lang/Ant-Man

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

“Hey, Scotty! Did you hear about the aliens?” Luis says as he brings a cup of fresh coffee to Scott. He takes the one in his other hand and takes a long sip, not caring that it burns his tongue. The entire X-Con company seems to benefit from a strong dose of caffeine in the morning.

 

Scott accepts the coffee gratefully and takes a few sips before he processes what Luis had said. “Wait, what? A—no, I didn’t hear anything about any aliens. And I’m an Avenger, man, I think if there’s aliens, I’d know about it!” Of course, they’d tell him. Right? Right. Right? He shakes his head. No use doubting his new partners. Well, not exactly new. He’s known Falcon—no, Captain America the longest, ever since he had tried to steal a part needed by Hank Pym from what was supposed to be a lightly guarded warehouse. It was just his luck that it happened to be the new Avengers base. It was also just his luck that he managed to win in a fight against an avenger with only a few days of training, in fighting and with the Ant-Man suit. He has the weirdest luck, sometimes.

 

He’s about to start reassuring Luis that there aren’t any aliens in New York that day when his phone rings. His cell phone, not his X-Con work phone. Not too many people have a reason to call him, other than Cassie, and she’s a teenager now, slightly more independent than when she was younger. Thanks to the Blip, and being stuck in the Quantum Realm, he missed just over five years of her life. They don’t talk as much as they did when she was younger, but Scott understands that she needs her space. Moody teenagers and all that.

 

“Hold on, I gotta get this. Hello? Hope? Yes, I’m at work.” Hope knows his schedule. They’ve been certainly been dating for long enough to know each other’s schedules, relatives, and Starbucks orders. “I’m just talking to Luis about the new security thing… What?” Did she seriously just say that? “He was just talking about aliens! I told him there couldn’t be any, because I’m an Avenger now, and I didn’t hear—wait. What?” Hope wouldn’t lie, would she? Is it a prank? A joke? A hoax? A trick? A—he just ran out of words. Scott Lang, Master of the Magic Tricks and Synonyms, running out of words? Impossible! But it happens anyways, for the first time that he can remember, outside of college. What happens in college, stays in college. “Aliens? Shape-shifting dragon snake aliens?”

 

“Ooh! Scaly? Robot? Fire-breathing? Tell me, Scotty!” Luis eavesdropping on Scott’s Avengers calls is quite possible the only constant in the world, aside from death and taxes and parking tickets.

 

Scott tilts his phone away from his face and loudly whispers to Luis, huge dragon with claws!

 

He puts the phone back up to his face. “Got it. Grabbing my suit now. Be there in ten.” Luis couldn’t hear Hope’s displeasure at that remark, but he could imagine it. “Okay, five. Bye.” Scott taps his phone to hang up and puts it in the back pocked of his jeans.

 

“Luis, I hate to cut our conversation short like this, but the world needs saving, again, and I’m kinda important to world safety now, and—”

 

“No no, I get it Scotty, go save the world.” Luis makes a shooing motion with his hands. “You hear me, Scotty? Save it!” He cups his hands around his mouth so the now leaving Ant-Man can hear him. “And maybe a selfie with the aliens!”

 

Scott throws a thumbs-up behind him as he walks out of the New York X-Con office, coffee still in hand. He drinks the last few gulps and puts it on a table outside. Someone’ll pick it up later. He has to go save the world.

 

*
*
*

 

He arrives in Central Park seven minutes later, right in the middle of a battle between several of the Avengers and what looks like a mix between a dragon and a snake that took a bath in an ocean of blue Kool-Aid. At least there’s no fire. Yet. But with the colour of that dragon thing, he’s half expecting it to shoot ice out of its nostrils instead.

 

He looks up and sees the spider kid swing between buildings, trying to tie it up with his webs. Peter, he remembers. Not that he’d ever call him that at work. Scott understands wanting to protect his identity from the media. The only reason he would ever advertise his own would be to help X-Con. Assuming he isn’t a criminal anymore. Did his work helping with the time travel/un-Blipping everyone fiasco give him a pardon? He’ll have to ask Hank or Hope later. Or maybe Janet. She’s probably the safer option. Less scary. Much less scary.

 

“Hey, Tic-Tac.” Scott looks to his left, where he thought he heard someone. Falcon—no, Captain America flies past, firing that cool robot he treats like a pet at the dragon.

 

"Hey, Cap Two-Point-Oh! That’s a huge dragon! I’m going to call him… Cool-io! Get it? ’Cause he looks like he’s made of frozen blue Kool-Aid!”

 

Wilson shakes his head in exasperation. “You do you, man.”

 

Scott looks up at Cool-io heading straight for him. He considers his options. Shrink? Not really helpful without an ant nearby to fly him out, and they all seemed to have wisely fled when the earth started shaking. Run? He can’t outrun that thing. If he tries, he’ll be killed instantly, without even saying bye to Cassie. Hope. Luis. Everyone else he cares about. His plan for dying is to be in a hospital bed, surrounded by all his friends and family; hopefully 50-ish years in the future. Grow? He could do that. Grow so big, Cool-io would hit him like a fly on a windshield. Well, maybe not that big of a size difference. Like a car to another car, maybe. He can definitely do that. Maybe.

 

He tries it anyway.

 

Pressing the grow button on his glove, he winces and prepares for the exertion caused by the size change. He feels himself grow, to ten feet, twenty, forty, fifty, and then he loses count. He sees Cool-io approaching his with alarming speed. Was he always this fast? He wonders, and then he doesn’t wonder anything; he can’t think, because oh my god there’s a giant snake dragon approaching me and I didn’t take the selfie Luis asked for and—

Notes:

The Major Character Death is implied, and off-screen. It isn't violent or graphic (it ends in the middle of a sentence, implying that the person narrating is unable to continue).