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Two hands grabbed me from behind and pushed me against the cold hard floor. They started touching me and undressing me in the middle of a dark and small alley. No shame. They muffled my voice with a hankerchief and pulled off my pants. Don't. No. I. No I don't want to be touched by you !! No !! Let it go !! Stop ! They turned me around so that they were facing my butt and the only thing I knew is that a piercing pain went through my body. I lost my conciousness after this.
'Hey Jean, you should wake up now.'
A soft voice is what woke me up. But I saw no one. And it's so strange because I know this voice. It's so nostalgic, hearing it...
'Jean, wake up.'
I don't understand, I'm awake, ain't I ? I can see the dark street and the lights of the city. I am not sleeping, voice, I'm awake. I know I'm awake.
'Please Jean, listen to me.'
After this, I stopped listening to the begging voice I heard a long time ago. And I lived. I walked to my flat and went to sleep. For three years I haven't heard the voice again. I barely remember its tone now. I'm 24 now and I'm well-knowned in Trost. 'Jean Kirschtein the firefighter'. Yeah, I became a freaking firefighter and I saved many lives. It's not something to be proud of, but I am, strangely.
"Kirschtein !! Fire in the Sina district !!"
"It's not our turn Erwin ! We don't have to go !"
"Kirschtein, it's the biggest fire I've seen in 12 years. So you're gonna move your fat ass and come to save those people !"
I jumped from my chair and ran with the guys to Sina. Yeah, it IS a BIG fire.
"Kirschtein, get in and look for any survivors !"
I listened to Erwin and started to race to the building, only hearing him and Miss Ackerman talking.
"Don't worry Mikasa, he'll come back. Tell Mar-..."
I couldn't hear the last part of his sentence due to the flames. God it's fucking hot in there ! I have to hurry.
'Jean, you have to come back'
Why at a time like this do you have to talk to me ?! I AM NOT GONNA LISTEN.
'Mikasa, What did Erwin say ?
- It's alright Mar-.. He will come back eventually.'
Isn't that Miss Ackerman ? No, I'm just imagining things. I ran upstairs and looked in each room for any one. Nobody. It has to be a joke! I went downstairs again and this time, I saw someone. I was a man, maybe my age, and.. Half of his upper body has been eaten up by the flames. I screamed. Louder than the flames. Louder than when the men in the street penetrated me. Louder than when my mom has given birth to me.
'Shit ! Mikasa ! He might have seen me ! Bring me water !! Hurry !!'
No, it's the same voice. I can see his lips moving. He's. Dead and. No ! It can't be happening ! I am having a nightmare, that's all ! Wake up Jean, wake up! WAKE UP FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE !!!
'He's coming back ! Call Eren !'
What is this room ? It's.. Not on fire ? But, I'm lying on.. a bed ? What the..
"Jean !!"
Warm. It's so warm here, in those arms. Two arms, two fucking arms and all of his body. Oh god I was so scared...
"Jean it's alright... You just had a nightmare. I'm here, I'm alive. I'm going nowhere... Oh Jean you scared me !"
-I'm sorry Mar-...
Why can't I say his name ? It's Mar-.. Mar-.. MAR-.. No.. I cannot..
"Who are you ?"
My voice is hoarse and I'm sure he can see it.
"Who am I ? I'm Mar-.. Of course."
I can't hear it either.
"You are not the man I love."
He slapped me, or rather punched me and I fell asleep again. The next time I woke up, I was before a giant head with half of my right arm missing. I fell and.. A hand grabbed my body ? It's too big, it can't be a human's... What the...? Is that a face ? It's opening its mouth and... Black.
I woke up, sweating and screaming. And I'm sure it's not because of a hot dream I had. It sure isn't hot. Well, in a way but still.
'Jean-kun... Kon-ban-wa'
Shit. It's him again. I know him. I know who it is ! I fucking know it so why can't I remember him ?! Why is it impossible ?! I shoul be able to do it. Please. Help me.
'You only need me, Jean.'
No ! I don't need you ! I only need my treatment !
'You finished it yesterday, remember ?'
But.. Hey, tell me, how old am I ?
'15'
It's not.. Fuck logic now. How old are you, and who are you ?
'It's the second time you're asking me Jean. I told you, I am-..'
Okay. Shut up. I -....What the...
It's not Me who is inside your head Jean. No, It's you. You're dead you know ? You died 20 years ago. And you left me behind. What you saw were not nightmares. You saw my memories and yours. For our past lives. Interesting isn't it ? I'm glad you saw this. You might be wondering how the last life ends. I'll let you see. It's your life after all. But, it hasn't ended yet. Maybe we'll see eachother in this life. I have no doubt of this. And.. Jean, I love you. No matter who we'll be.
My freckled boy jumped in my arms and smiled at me. My boy.. My little one.
'Daddy'
"My little Marco..."
'Daddy, can you read me a story ?'
"Yes ! Let's go. But Daddy Armin and your brother Eren is slipping so, don't wake them up.."
'Hai !!'
I might not be able to return your feelings in this life Marco, but I'll keep the memories of our kisses, our hugs and our deaths in the back of my head. Let's see eachother again in my dreams. I, still love you Marco. And I won't stop 'til the day we meet again.