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Bakugo wasn’t jealous and Kirishima wasn’t a cheater.
Yet it seemed like every time there was a lull, every time things were too quiet, Bakugo would glance over and find Kirishima smiling at his phone.
He didn’t want to ask. At first he thought it had to be dumb texts from Tetsutetsu or Kaminari or maybe some stupid fucking meme or cat video. But none of those possibilities accounted for the sheer length of time Kirishima spent staring at that tiny screen, or his startled embarrassment and hurried return of the phone to his pocket once he noticed Bakugo glaring.
But Bakugo wasn’t jealous and he knew Kirishima wasn’t a cheater.
It was against everything he knew Kirishima to be. The antithesis to Kirishima’s very essence. The thought was absolutely absurd. Nonsense. Ridiculous.
And besides, for better or worse, he had been more...enthused and attentive in the bedroom than ever. Which Bakugo wasn’t really sure how that was even possible. Unless it was some sort of cover up? A distraction? Nah. Kirishima didn’t think that way; he didn’t have it in him to be deceitful or manipulative.
Bakugo wasn’t jealous and Kirishima wasn’t a cheater.
So what the hell was Kirishima smiling at all the time on his fucking phone?
Bakugo could just ask. Kirishima would tell him. Probably. But Bakugo definitely wasn’t jealous so why the fuck would he even ask? What Kirishima spent looking at on his stupid phone with that goofy fucking smile was his business.
But if one morning Bakugo happened to glance over Kirishima’s shoulder while he sat on the couch, smirking at his fucking phone, on his way to the kitchen and catch a glimpse—
“Fu-fuck me, Eijiro,” Katsuki panted, already looking so beautifully, absolutely wrecked. “Break me. Fuck, I want—”
Eijiro bit down on the junction between slender neck and muscular shoulder, marking the pale skin, sweat delicious and sweet on his tongue, and Katsuki keened, the sound going straight to Eijiro’s throbbing—
“What the fuck are you reading?!” Bakugo yelled, snatching Kirishima’s phone away before he could react.
Kirishima looked startled for only a moment before blushing slightly and huffing a slightly embarrassed laugh. “Uh...fanfic?”
Bakugo looked back at the screen, reading a few more lines just in case somehow he had misunderstood—
“Please don’t break my phone,” Kirishima pleaded, reaching up to extricate his phone from Bakugo’s white-knuckled grip.
“What is this shit?” Bakugo asked incredulously.
“I told you,” Kirishima said, surprised when Bakugo’s fingers loosened and he was able to rescue his phone, tucking it into his pocket for the time being. “It’s...fanfic.”
“It’s smut.” Bakugo crossed his arms across his chest and glared.
“Not all of it!” Kirishima protested. Bakugo raised an eyebrow. “Okay, well, most of it. But a lot of it is amazingly well-written! Like, I had no idea! Some of these writers are incredibly talented!”
Bakugo rolled his eyes. “You can barely read, shithead. Yeah, I’m sure it’s well-written.”
“It is!” Kirishima insisted. “If you—” he hesitated at Bakugo’s sharp look but pressed on. “If you gave it a chance, you’d see that. Some of it is really, really good! You’d be surprised!”
Bakugo snorted. “I doubt that.”
“You don’t know that,” Kirishima pressed. “Don’t judge me for reading it when you won’t even try it.”
“I’ll judge whatever I damn well want.”
“Fine,” Kirishima shrugged, pulling out his phone again. “You judge away and I’m going to keep reading.”
With a huff, Bakugo flopped on the couch, kicking his feet up into Kirishima’s lap. He waited for a few moments, watching Kirishima read. Well, watching Kirishima persistently ignore him under the guise of pretending to read.
“Fine,” Bakugo finally said, feigning irritation. “I guess I should just be happy you’re actually reading. Send me the link to one of your so-called well-written bullshit stories.”
Kirishima’s eyes widened in momentary surprise before a toothy grin overtook his face. “Really?” he asked, too excited. “This is gonna be fun. Just you wait—I’ll pick a really good one for you. Then you have to admit I was right!”
“Not likely,” Bakugo snorted. But if it made Kirishima this stupidly happy, he could waste five minutes reading some dumbass story.
“Fuckers are pretty prolific,” Bakugo muttered a few hours later.
“Mm,” Kirishima agreed idly. Then he blinked rapidly, looking at Bakugo skeptically. “Wait. How many have you read?”
“A few.”
“And..?” Kirishima prompted.
“And what?” Bakugo snapped, looking up from his phone.
“What do you think? If you read a few then you must think they’re not as bad as you thought! Right?”
Bakugo snorted. “No, I read a few because I’m still looking for a fucking good one that you say actually exists.” His brow furrowed as he scrolled. “I swear, some of these writers don’t have a fucking clue how punctuation works.”
Kirishima huffed in exasperation, hiding a little smile. “It’s not about perfection,” he said and Bakugo raised an eyebrow as if he begged to differ. “The story itself is more important than the grammar and punctuation.”
“Yeah well, this one sucks on all counts.” Bakugo frowned slightly. “Why the fuck are there so many?”
Kirishima laughed, absentmindedly patting one of Bakugo’s legs that still rested across his lap. “It’s a really popular fandom.” He grinned. “And we’re the most popular pairing. Isn’t that cool?”
“Well fucking duh. We are married. We should be the most popular pairing!”
“Yeah, but reality doesn’t have anything to do with it—”
“Obviously,” Bakugo grumbled.
“I think it’s kinda cool.”
“Cool? Having a bunch of psychos write weird-ass stories about us fucking?”
“Dude,” Kirishima reprimanded. “And they’re not psychos—I don’t think, anyway, though some probably are, I guess...” He shook his head, trying to get back on track. “That doesn’t matter! I think it’s cool that, for one, we’re popular—” Bakugo’s glare suggested that should be obvious. “—and two, that people find happiness and entertainment through this. Don’t you think it’s kinda flattering?”
“No.”
Kirishima sighed and resumed his reading. Engrossed in the climax of the fantasy AU he was reading, he didn’t know how many minutes had passed when—
“What the fuck? Are you fucking kidding me?” Bakugo yelled and Kirishima looked up, nonplussed. “Deku? Fucking me and Deku? Literally?”
Kirishima couldn’t hold back a laugh at Bakugo’s sincere indignation. “I told you there were a lot of pairings and tried to emphasize that reality—”
“Seriously?” Bakugo looked back down at his phone, lips twisted in a disgusted sneer. “Does Uraraka know that her husband is apparently pounding me in the ass?”
Kirishima grimaced. “Actually...”
Bakugo’s eyes narrowed. “Say it.”
“She’s actually the one that turned me on to all this,” Kirishima admitted quietly, chewing on his bottom lip, waiting for the outrage.
But the outrage never came. Instead, Bakugo just stared back, momentarily incredulity shifting into a tired resignation. “Of course,” he deadpanned. “Why fucking wouldn’t she.” He resettled into his position on the couch. “And don’t say she turned you on to anything. That just sounds wrong, after reading all this shit.”
Kirishima snorted in amusement and went back to reading.
“Though I bet if I looked hard enough, there’s one of you two turning each other on in more ways than one.”
“Bakugo!” Heat flooded Kirishima’s face.
“You don’t bat an eye at me getting railed by fucking Deku but you’re scandalized at KiriRaka?” Bakugo asked critically.
“Kiriwhat?” Kirishima laughed.
Bakugo fought to keep a straight face. “Isn’t how these stupid pairings work? Slam some names together?”
“What have I done,” Kirishima groaned to himself. “Besides, I think it’s KiriOcha.”
With an snort, Bakugo returned to his phone, but only for a few moments. “Fuck’s sake, for Deku being such a goody two shoes, he sure gets around. Me, Half-and-Half...All Might.” he wrinkled his nose. “I guess it kinda makes sense, though. Deku’s always been a little gay.” Kirishima glared at him, appalled. “What?! I don’t mean it in a bad way.”
“If Midoriya’s ‘a little gay’ what does that make you? A lot gay?” Kirishima asked incredulously. “You are married to a man.”
Bakugo looked at him calmly. “I am married to you. The ‘you’ is the part that matters.”
Kirishima frowned slightly, one hand traitorously rubbing the top of Bakugo’s foot on his lap. “That’s...that’s actually kinda romantic.” He did his best to look very serious and thoughtful. “So, would you say you’re...Ei-sexual, then?”
They just stared at a each other for a long moment before they both burst out laughing. Bakugo threw his half-empty water bottle at him, which bounced off his shoulder harmlessly. “How long have you been waiting to use that line? So fucking stupid,” he sighed. With a roll of his eyes, he readjusted and returned to his phone.
“Me and Deku—barf, he’d just cry all over me. Me and Todoroki—now there’s someone who’s a lot gay. Me and Eraser—what the fuck? Me and Round Face—no thanks, she and her annoying husband are perfect for each other. Me and Jeanist—who wants to fuck a guy that’s a giant condescending pair of pants?” He looked over his phone at Kirishima. “You read any of these? Me and other people?”
When Kirishima didn’t answer for a minute, Bakugo thought maybe he was too engrossed in whatever stupid fic he was reading and didn’t hear him. “Not anymore,” Kirishima said finally, still not looking at him. “Though that’s actually how it started. Uraraka sent me a BakuDeku fic she thought was amazing and really wanted me to read it. So, I’ve, uh, read a couple.” His guileless red eyes flickered toward Bakugo for just a second. “But...”
“But..?” Bakugo prompted when Kirishima didn’t continue.
“But it kinda bothers me!” Kirishima blurted, scrunching his eyes shut. “Don’t laugh!”
Bakugo did laugh, and Kirishima pouted. “Weren’t you the one saying you thought it was fucking neat that this shit made people happy or some shit?” He prodded at Kirishima’s thigh with his heel.
“I don’t care what they do,” Kirishima muttered quietly. “But even if it’s just fiction, I don’t like reading about you with other people.”
“Oi, rocks-for-brains,” Bakugo said, now poking his ribs with a toe. “You do remember that anytime you get tired of reading about me on a stupid tiny screen, you’ve got the real fucking thing right here, right?”
Kirishima caught the offending foot and settled it back across his thighs, giving it a squeeze. “Yeah,” he said with a little smile. “I know. But I like reading these. I keep telling you, there are some that are crazy creative and really good. And yeah, some are pretty, uh...sexy. But they can be really romantic too.”
“You saying real me isn’t romantic?” Bakugo challenged.
Kirishima blinked in surprise. “Do...you...think you’re romantic?”
“Fuck no,” Bakugo growled. “That’s gross.” Kirishima burst out laughing and Bakugo grinned at him. “Go back to reading your stupid story. I’m still trying to find one that doesn’t suck.”
“Gah.” Bakugo stretched after a couple more hours. “Why are you always the cool fucking dragon and yet I’m always compared to an angry Pomeranian or a grumpy cat?”
“Well...”
“Don’t even fucking say it. And what’s the deal with them always writing you big and nice and like stupid fucking sunshine and lovable? Giant lovable fireman or lumberjack or porn star or whatever the fuck. And taller than me? Fuck right off with that.”
“But you’re always smoking hot and crazy talented and a genius,” Kirishima protested.
Bakugo just blinked at him, brow furrowed. “Well, yeah. Because that’s me in real life.”
“Asshole,” Kirishima laughed, throwing the now-totally-empty water bottle from hours ago at him. Which he caught. Of course.
Bakugo closed his eyes and stretched over the armrest he’d been leaning against. “If I have to read about your sculpted Adonis body one more time...” He groaned in annoyance. “And all these psychos waxing fucking poetic about your fucking impressive package.” He gave Kirishima a smirk. “No wonder you said reading this shit was ‘flattering.’”
“What do you mean?” Kirishima said, wide eyes innocent. “That’s just me in real life.”
A laugh burst from Bakugo before he could help it and Kirishima grinned wolfishly at him. “Fucker,” Bakugo mumbled under his breath, springing up from the couch. “How did it get this late? Did we really skip lunch reading your stupid garbage?” He disappeared into the kitchen.
Kirishima wanted nothing more to follow him, to wrap his arms around him from behind as he cooked, just like in so many of the fics he read. But he knew from experience that was a good way to get yelled at complete with an elbow to the gut. And they had accidentally skipped lunch so the last thing he wanted was to piss off the person cooking dinner.
But that didn’t mean he couldn’t sit at the table and ogle.
Watching Bakugo as he cooked always reminded him of the night he’d been confessed to, all those years ago. He’d come home, distraught and confused and dreading the thought his best friend might never speak to him again, only to open the door to the smell of sizzling meat and the sight of Bakugo’s back as he concentrated on the stovetop.
Just the memory made Kirishima’s mouth water for multiple reasons.
“You really don’t get tired of reading that crap?” Bakugo said, not looking away from the skillet. “The goofy contrived situations and the weirdo alternate universe crap and the time traveling and the stupid soulmate stuff?” He spared a leer over his shoulder. “Or are you just in it for the explicit shit?”
“No!” Kirishima blurted and Bakugo laughed. “Actually, the soulmate stuff is my favorite. I think.”
“Are you fucking serious?”
“It’s like, manly and romantic at the same time!”
“How is it fucking manly?” Bakugo asked incredulously.
“Because,” Kirishima explained, “no matter what happens, we’ll find each other. Over and over. We’ll fight whatever we have to fight and overcome whatever we have to overcome to find each other. You don’t think that’s badass?”
“You—” Bakugo spared a moment to glare, “—are a sap. But you’re my sap, so I guess I’ll tolerate it.” He set the plates on the table, Kirishima’s plate quite obviously fuller than his. “So what shit don’t you read? Don’t tell me you get off on everyone pairing you off with fucking Raccoon Eyes. Or Kaminari.” He grumbled under his breath, “I don’t know which one’s worse.”
“No,” Kirishima laughed. “Why, are you jealous?”
“Yeah fucking right.” Bakugo glowered. “Besides, you should be offended—you can do way better than either of those losers.”
Kirishima smiled wryly. “Uh, thanks for your vote of confidence. But I don’t think you have to worry; I wouldn’t settle for anyone but the best.”
Bakugo flashed a predatory grin. “Damn straight.”
“Anyway, aside from certain pairings, I don’t really read, um...” Kirishima chewed, hesitating. “Unrequited love. And...death.”
Bakugo grunted in agreement and they ate in silence for a moment. Due to their chosen profession, death was always on the periphery. Memories of close calls came immediately to mind. “Yeah who needs that shit,” Bakugo said finally.
“Right?” Kirishima tried for a smile.
“But hey,” Bakugo said with a little smirk, “if we’re soulmates, a stupid thing like death isn’t gonna keep us apart for long, right?”
“Are you trying to cheer me up or are you making fun of me?”
“No reason I can’t do both at once.” Bakugo grinned and Kirishima snorted a laugh.
They chatted through dinner and doing the dishes, Bakugo listening patiently to Kirishima talk excitedly about his different favorite fics and authors, the different popular ships, the rarepairs, and how apparently all of their female friends—well, Kirishima referred to them as friends, Bakugo still liked to pretend he didn’t know half their names—had not only known about all this but had been contributing to this nonsense for quite some time.
“No one’s up to writing anything yet,” Kirishima said. “They all just pass around recommendations. Though we’re all pretty sure the author HotWing69 is someone we know, but so far no one is fessing up to it.”
“Really? HotWing69? Do I even want to know?”
Kirishima grimaced. “They write Endeavor/Hawks. It’s not really my thing, I’ve only read that one author because the girls insisted—”
“I’ve worked with those two, there’s no way—” Bakugo scoffed, then paused, cocking his head to the side in thought. “Y’know…” His eyes narrowed. “Fuck. They might be onto something with that one.” He sighed. “Either that or all this has rotted my brain and I’m seeing shit that’s not there.”
With a contented sigh, Kirishima returned to the living room and flopped back onto the couch. “So I guess you never found one that you thought was good?” Kirishima asked, a little disappointed.
“Nope,” Bakugo replied. “I guess some weren’t awful, but they sure as hell weren’t good.”
“Should’ve known, I suppose. Guess I’ll give up on trying to convert you then. You wanna watch a movie or something?”
“Nah, I’m gonna research some shit for work for a minute.” Bakugo headed down the hallway to their little home office.
“You want help?”
“Help looking shit up on a computer?” Bakugo raised an eyebrow. “I think I’ve got it.”
“Ah, that was a good one.” Kirishima smiled as he typed in a quick comment. After posting, he glanced in the upper corner of the screen. “Oh shit, how is it that late? Did Bakugo fall asleep at the desk? He’s been in there for hours already...” he mumbled to himself. Just then, his phone vibrated with an alert. “Uh, why is he texting me from the other room?” Confused, he opened the message.
Finally found a good one, it said, followed by...a link?
Bakugo had said he was researching something. Had he just moved to the office to read on the computer instead of on the tiny phone screen? Or had he actually researched whatever it was and picked up reading fanfic when he finished? If he really didn’t enjoy it, Kirishima didn’t want him to keep reading; it was such a silly thing after all. Kirishima had been enjoying it this whole time on his own and wouldn’t have dreamed of involving Bakugo in this hobby if Bakugo hadn’t caught him in the first place. Then again, Bakugo wasn’t the type to do something if he didn’t want to...but the flip side of that was his tendency to do things he didn’t want to if he thought they were important to Kirishima. But this couldn’t possibly fall under that category. Could it?
Simultaneously perplexed and interested, he tapped on the link.
Because I Love You by ialwayswin
Kirishima’s eyes widened.
There was no way. It couldn’t be. But it had to be. Didn’t it?
Kirishima didn’t look up when Bakugo came back into the living room and sat down on the far end of the couch. For a moment, Bakugo watched him, gauging his reaction, analyzing how Kirishima’s eyes were glued to the screen and his thumb scrolled up at regular intervals. Satisfied, he settled in with a little smirk, content to watch transforming expressions flit across Kirishima’s face.
His smirk widened into a wicked grin when he noticed Kirishima had quit blinking; he must’ve reached the good stuff.
Bakugo hadn’t realized he’d dozed off until the movement of Kirishima leaving the couch woke him up. “Well?” he asked, rubbing the sleep from his face before looking up at Kirishima, who was now standing in front of him. “What did you think?”
Now, Bakugo didn’t make mistakes. But looking up at Kirishima, at those eyes—
—uh, right. He'd read the word like five hundred times today. Smoldering.
He had to admit that perhaps he’d made a slight...miscalculation.
Kirishima’s voice was low. “Bed. Now.”
Bakugo’s eyes widened. He had definitely made a very major miscalculation. “Uh, Kiri—”
But Kirishima didn’t wait for him to finish, instead bending down to cut off his words with a wet kiss before slinging him over his shoulders in a fireman’s carry and heading to their bedroom.
“Fuck,” Bakugo breathed. “What the...” He lay on his back, arms outstretched and chest still heaving, the sweat drying on his exposed skin. Kirishima was on his stomach next to him, breathing just as heavily. “Fuck,” he said again, lightly smacking Kirishima’s nearest shoulder with the back of his hand. “Guess that means you liked the story?”
Kirishima huffed a laugh. “Yeah.” He turned just enough to grab Bakugo’s hand and kiss his fingertips. “Loved it.”
“So did you leave a fucking comment?” Bakugo demanded, the bite in his voice diminished by afterglow and exhaustion.
Kirishima laughed as his fingers lightly traced the love bites littered across Bakugo’s chest. “Looks to me like you are covered in comments.”
Bakugo swatted his hand half-heartedly. “Asshole.”
Reluctantly rolling away from Bakugo, Kirishima stretched to reach his pants that had been hastily discarded next to the bed. “Only slightly singed,” he noted with a smirk as he fished his phone out of the pocket and tossed the pants back on the floor.
“At least yours survived,” Bakugo muttered. “Mine were literally ripped off.”
Kirishima just grinned, posting quickly on his phone before handing it to Bakugo so he could read it. “There. There’s your comment.”
bakuluvr420
You had me at the title.
I love you too, writer-sama
Epilogue
Ochako: OMG Kiri I just read the BEST fic ever. You HAVE to read it
Ochako: Srsly, the characters are so *on point*
Ochako: Wait.
Ochako: I was gonna send it to you but—you’ve already read it? Isn’t that your comment?!
Ochako: What
Ochako: WHAT
Ochako: Does this mean what I think it means?
Ochako: No freakin way!
Ochako: NO!
Ochako: OMG YES!!!
Ochako: Did HE really write this?!?!?!
Ochako: KIRISHIMAAAAAA
Ochako: Why aren’t you answering me?
Ochako: Are you...*busy*? ::eyebrow waggle::
Ochako: You better be.
Ochako: After a story like that...
Ochako: This totally just gave me an idea! Romance Author Baku AU! I’ve never written anything but...
Ochako: I’m kinda feeling inspired.
Ochako: Though he set the bar ridiculously high now
Ochako: Why is your jerk husband so freakin good at everything?! So not fair
“How long is she gonna have a conversation entirely with herself?” Bakugo asked, still holding Kirishima’s phone, watching the screen continue to light up with rapid-fire incoming messages.
“Who knows.” Kirishima snuggled into Bakugo’s shoulder. “She’ll probably get tired of me not answering and then bring in Mina. This could go for hours, if they’re on a roll."
Ochako: All I know is, if I get knocked up again, this fic is to blame.
Ochako: IT’S ALL YOUR & BAKUGO’S FAULT
Ochako: Wait. Did that sound gross? I meant it as a compliment.
Ochako: Haha. Don’t tell Deku
Ochako: Although maybe...he should read it?
You: FUCK’S SAKE, ROUND FACE! IT’S 2 AM SHUT UP AND GO TO FUCKING SLEEP.
Ochako: ...
Ochako: Whatever you say, writer-sama ;)
Ochako: Also, I’m subscribing. Can’t wait for the sequel. XD