Work Text:
Tic. Toc. Tic. Toc.
The hands of the clock sang, alerting the passage of time. The aroma of coffee filled that harmonious place, one of Goshiki's favorite places.
Sitting at the table in the corner, that table near the window, which let him see all those passersby walking through the streets, some talking on the phone, others without looking at the place where they are walking in a hurry. Others more smiling, accompanied by people who maybe put those smiles on their faces.
Goshiki was once like them, once he walked in a hurry, bumping over whoever it was, eager to get to… Koganegawa.
Shook his head, sighing and trying to catch his breath. His hands trembling slightly as he reached for the coffee cup.
He took small sips, losing himself again in warm, happily memories.
The veil of a small smile covered his lips as he rested them on the cup. Sad eyes lost in the horizon, while that memorie was reproduced in his head.
"Tomu, no— that's not how you do it..." a smiling blond took the drink from the youngest's hands. He tried to open it but frowned.
Goshiki was trying to hold back his laughter but Koganegawa was too cute, trying to force open the soda.
He looked away from the pretty boy beside him to admire the landscape in front of them. The waves were calm, with the water so crystal clear that the dazzling blue sky that accompanied them that afternoon was reflected on them.
The coach was probably going to kill him tomorrow, but it was worth it. Everything was worth it as long as it was with Kanji.
Speaking of the aforementioned, he returned his gaze to him, to see him with that embarrassed and cute expression that always made him sigh. And it made him sigh so many times a day that Goshiki even felt guilty about taking up too much oxygen.
He doesn't even remember the first time he started feeling this way about him, this may be even from that training camp.
His happiness was so contagious that it made his heart pound a little faster than normal.
Two years or more of that had already passed; now both were captains of their respective teams, with responsibilities that made it almost impossible for them to meet constantly but always found the time to do so, or made these little escapades to meet up.
Though they were always caught and the punishment, well... they weren't pretty.
He fell onto his back, looking up at the sky. The sea breeze gently lapping against his face, as a bubbling emotion settled over his chest.
Maybe he was a fool, maybe he was going to be rejected, but Tsutomu no longer wanted to still keeping these intense feelings that he harbored for the setter hidden.
He closed his eyes for a moment as he listened to Koganegawa in the distance continue to chatter about the drink.
A smile tickled his lips.
"... Tomu this is broken, ah— what a fool, i didn't notice before..."
"I like you," he interrupted, supporting himself on his forearms to get a better view of him. The rays of the sun made him look almost angelic. His tilted head and that tender look of confusion he made every time he didn't understand something. "I like you, Kanji."
Goshiki got up laughing, leaving Koganegawa in his confused state and ran towards the beach. Maybe not a good idea because he still had clothes on, but he didn't care. He felt free and happy.
"Come here, you fool." he yelled, drawing his attention as he waved his arms from side to side.
Koganegawa just sighed, chuckling as he got up and ran over to where Goshiki was still taunting him.
"You— traitor, i was supposed to be the one to say that." Kanji yelled as he caught him in his arms, lifting him up as the smallest's laughter continued to leave his chest.
That afternoon was magical. Full of feelings blooming within their hearts. It might be summer in Miyagi, but within them, spring was just sprouting.
The black haired boy came out of his thoughts when he heard the little door bell ring. That had always been a memory that managed to warm all of his insides. He felt transported back to that memory, five years ago.
But always later, that other memory came. That memory so bitter and dark that it made his blood run cold.
Those last two years had been one of utter darkness for Goshiki. The nights had turned into endless nightmares. He sighed sadly.
Eight.
Eight seconds that could completely change someone's life.
In eight seconds his world had turned into a mess.
He himself had lost his world, his everything. The person he had loved the most.
He remember that call. That day he had been busy with things at the collage. He hadn't been able to see Kanji, which made him feel a bit off. They haven't been spending much time together lately.
And Goshiki hated that with all his being.
He had gotten used to having the blonde around him. Brightening his days. Hearing his loud voice, waking him up in the morning. Making disasters in the kitchen. Because yeah, after leaving high school they had decided to move in together.
It all seemed like a dream come true.
But then reality hit them. They had debts to pay, responsibilities to assume. And even if they lived together, the time in which they could find time for the two of them was very short. Between college and Goshiki's work, and between volleyball games and Koganegawa's work, well… They barely found time to breathe.
So when he got that call from Kanji he was glad, but again, eight seemed to be a cursed number for him.
It wasn't Kanji's voice on the other end of the phone.
Goshiki could barely breathe when he dropped the phone on the floor, trying to process everything. Screams and sounds of ambulance could be heard from the other end of the line.
With his body shaking and his heart about to leave his chest, he grabbed his things and ran off to the hospital.
But well, he was never on time.
Kanji died within eight seconds of reaching the hospital. Apparently a drunk driver had lost control of the car and Kanji... Kanji was at the wrong time and place.
Tsutomu stopped going out, stopped eating, stopped smiling. What do you do when you feel like you had lost the other half of your heart? Goshiki didn't know and didn't even have the strength to find out.
At least that's what he thought for a few months, until Shirabu, a very dear senpai to him, came to his apartment enraged.
"Tsutomu what are you doing? Is this how you are going to throw it all away? You're about to get kicked out of college, you idiot. "
His senpai looked exalted. That was the first thing the black haired noticed, but his face remained blank. It scared him how expressionless he had become after… after losing Kanji.
"I don't care, Shirabu senpai." he murmured in a monotonous voice.
"Kanji would be disappointed of you, Tsutomu."
And as if it were a bomb about to explode, Goshiki glared at him.
"Shut up," he hissed, his eyes covered in tears.
"I can't hear you, Tsutomu." maybe he was being cruel, but Shirabu needed Goshiki to understand, to come to his senses.
"Shut up" the youngest shouted this time, losing his temper. He got up from the bed, pouncing on the smaller one. “You don't know anything, you don't know anything. You haven't lost who you thought was the love of your life. You don't know this pain, you don't know what it's like to wake up and feel that even breathing hurts. I feel like i'm going crazy, senpai. When is this going to stop? " he murmured in a broken voice, letting the tears flood his face again. "I don't— I don't want to feel this anymore, it hurts... it hurts a lot."
He dropped to the floor, sobbing with all his might. Shirabu sighed, kneeling in front of him and passing one of his arms around his back.
“I don't know what you feel, Tsutomu and i hope i never feel it. I know that Koganegawa-san is no longer here, that it sure hurts like hell to lose him in such a… horrible way. " Shirabu paused for a moment, listening as the youngest could barely breathe from the way he sobbed. “But you can't stop your life completely, you have to get out of this. For you and for Kanji. Are you going to throw away all those moments that you spent together leaving you to die? I remember that he was the one who was most proud of you and everything you had achieved. He always spoke of you so lovingly— which was partly disgusting — but shouldn't you feel lucky? To live a love as great and as intense as that? Few people get to know it and you are one of them, Tsutomu. "
“I know that some days are going to be more difficult than others, but you have to start living again. Live through all of those memories that he left you. "
And as if it were a sign, that night he dreamed of Kanji. They were not the usual nightmares that filled his whole being with anguish and fear. It was something cute and sweet and innocent, almost like his love for him. He remembers him in front of the beach, telling him how much he loved him and how much he wanted to see him happy.
That morning it wasn't tears of despair that ran down his face. They were tears of healing, tears that slowly cleansed his soul and heart. It was as if Kanji had gone to say goodbye to him and to tell him that he would always be waiting for him; with open arms when it came the time to meet him again.
And so the months went by, until now. Almost two years after losing the love of his life.
Today he was here, in his favorite place without his favorite person.
He just hopes that the day they finally meet again will be at the edge of the sea, with the rays of the sun tickling their skin. Like that summer day when he decided to be brave, leaving his fears behind to have the person he loves by his side.
Yeah, he just have to wait.