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The year was Twentybananasplit, and you were craving a banana. You went to go masturbate before eating a banana. You masturbated with the banana and then the peel. You went to the fridge to grab a banana to eat! Yes, eat that banana.
"Honey I'm home!"
Feitan burst through the drywall. Who cares about the intro this is porn.
Your boyfriend pulled out a banana, and then some ice cream. The he split it. Then he freaked it. Then, he did the unthinkable.
Feitan cooked the banana split, you weren't supposed to but when has he ever done anything the right way. He froze the banana split, and then he took it out of the freezer.
"Hey Your Name." Feitan scooped up some up the slop, "Open wide."
You followed his orders, the nasty banana split was in your mouth. It tasted absolutely disgusting, but it was going to make you cum goddamit it. His delicate, 5'0 feet. His delicate 5'0 hands slipped his terrible cooking between your lips.
Each thrust of the spoon in your mouth made your pussy feel like it was Mario and he was Princess Beach. Feitan truly was speedrunning making you cum your fucking pants on national banana split day.
"Eat it!" He said as he gently fed you his cooking, "Eat my fucking food you stupid whore!"
Each bite of banana made your pussy wetter and wetter, so much so that the floor began to flood.
"Hey Y/N" Feitan said as he fed you. "You ever think about how the banana and the byleth?"
He urinated all over you to make you remember. His piss soaked into your skin and made you remember the good times, the times where he was Mario and you were Princess Beach.
"I think about the banana and the byleth." Nobody said this.
Banana and the Byleth bitches!
"Byleth, fuck that bitch!" Feitan yelled, "Fuck Byleth stupid ass Fire Emblem piece of shit!"
The spoon had no more banana to scoop up.
"Feitan the banana has no more scoop!" Nobody said this.
"Feitan the scoop!" NOBODY SAID THAT EITHER!!!!
"FEITAN. THE SPOON. HAS NO MORE BANANA. TO SCOOP UP." Everyone clapped. This is what they were saying outside of your house as they watched him feed food to you.
Feed the spoon the banana. That'll show 'em.
Hermes clapped.
No she didn't.
Not for this.
Feitan smirked, licking the spoon while his mouth was still closed and not even touching it.
"That's what you think."
Feitan pulled down his pants, and revealed a set of red, glowing eyeballs between his legs.
"I was part of the Kurta clan the whole time." He laughed, "My eyes are where my nutsack should be!"
His eyes are where his nutsack should be Hajime!
I know, Komaeda.
