Work Text:
I’m tired. So very very tired. Tired of putting my hair in that bandanna, tired of walking to school, tired of feeling lonely. I’m tired of the all-consuming sadness. I’m tired of being the Spanish freak in England. I’m tired of standing out. I’m just so tired. from the very depth of my soul, tired. Tired of waking up. Tired of being alive. I don’t want to be alive. Simple as. I don’t want to be alive. So I won’t be. There’s nobody I need to say goodbye to. They’re all dead. Maybe Up. No... he’s overseas for the Army. He left me behind. He probably doesn’t even care. Scratch that, he definitely doesn’t care. So I’ve got nobody. Except for my soulmate, who I don’t even know. Well... I know her name. Feb. I should say goodbye to her.
I take my ragged red bandanna out, letting my long black hair tumble down my back. I change into a tank top and shorts. I look like I’m about to go to sleep I suppose. And in a way I am... just, a lot more permanently. I reach across my desk and grab my knife and my blue ballpoint. I sit down in my bathtub and begin to write.
“Dear soulmate”
*Swap to February's PoV*
“Dear Soulmate. Feb.
I want jou to know that your drawings meant a lot to me and got me through so much. But-“
oh no. This better not be what I think this is. Dead god no.
“But I’m apologizing to jou. Because everything has gone to shit. I’ve run out of money to pay for school, I’ve been orphaned... my parents and my siblings, dey are all gone, killed by de gang who call demselves de robots, and de rest of my relations... dey hate me. Basically I’m saying dat I can’t keep doing dis. I’m too tired. I’m so, so tired. Jou get what I mean? Everything hurts. Jou know?”
No. No, I don’t know. I’m sorry. No. This isn’t happening. Taz, you can’t do this. I don’t even know your full name! No. This better be a dream. Taz. No. you aren't allowed to do this. you aren't allowed to say goodbye! no! please!
"Is like I’m trapped in a cavern and de waters rising and I can’t swim. Funeral costs are expensive. The costs of eight funerals... I don’t know how I’m going to do dis... I don’t think I can. I just need everything to stop, jou know? Sorry I never talked with jou properly before. Sorry I’m condemning jou to a life without a soulmate but I’m sure you’ll find someone. Eventually. Sorry I never got to know jou. Or even to meet jou in real life. I guess I never will. I s’pose dis is goodbye den.
Adios. Taz.”
*nobody's PoV*
Everyone on the block heard February scream. Her soulmate... Taz... was... actually... doing it. Committing suicide. The blonde was writhing on the floor in agony, but with a shaking hand, she managed to grab her pink marker. She didn’t think she just drew. Drew and drew and drew. She kept drawing, even as she felt the bond between them start to sever. Pink flowers all over every inch of skin she could reach. Just before she blacked out, she felt words blossoming on her stomach.
“Thank you for the flowers”