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Gabriel Curtiss walked back to his dorm with a sulk on his face and a stain on his shirt. His recent girlfriend had dumped him again! And in similar fashion to his previous girlfriend, she had flung her drink at him. He hadn't swiftly moved this time. Instead, he had a now cooling stain on his shirt. He tutted to himself as he fiddled with his keys.
He wasn't sure why women would suddenly want to break off their ties with him. Acting as if he were too good for them. He was a normal man, not some angel. Just because he shared a name with one didn't make him one.
Gabriel sighed as he opened the door, freezing for a second at spotting the doppelganger on the couch, but then remembered Michael was living with him now.
His twin... he would have never known about his twin until the death of his birth parents. There was a somber dull ache at the thought – more or less a feeling of sympathy towards Michael than any actual grief. He didn't know Daniel, Karen, or Minnie. But to Michael? They had been his world and now all he had was Uncle Ahab and Gabriel... Gabriel felt an instant connection to his twin and decided to finally be the brother he could be.
His eyes immediately fell to the white piece of paper in Michael's hand and then noticed the soft smile and even softer blush on his twin's face. His heart made a soft lurch as he placed his keys on their hook by the door. He watched his brother for a moment – watching the way those brown eyes flitted over the paper, the way his upturned lips curled even more up. It sent a weird sensation tumbling down his lower belly.
“Ah, Welcome home.” said Michael as he noticed Gabriel standing there. He was folding the paper back up, which made Gabriel blink and look back up at Michael. A question gnawed on his mind as he stepped inside more, approaching Michael.
“Uncle Ahab?”
Michael's nose wrinkled and eyes danced. “No, no. A friend. So, how was your – aah! Your shirt!”
“Mm? Oh this...”
Michael approached Gabriel, looking at the cooled tea on his shirt. Michael tutted over it and helped Gabriel take it off. A weird coil constricted in his abdomen as he stood there shirtless in front of Michael. The other didn't seem to notice as he hurried off to the laundry basket with his shirt. He spray the stain a couple of time with a stain removal and looked back at Gabriel. “I'll go do the laundry to see if I can get this stain out.”
Gabriel opened his mouth, about to offer to go with Michael, but the young man was out the door before he could say anything. He sighed as he lowered his hands and looked to the floor. That is, until he saw white in his peripheral. He looked over to see the piece of paper. An image of Michael's soft eyes and blush pulsed through his mind and an impish thought floated through him.
“No...” he chided himself. “Looking at someone else's mail...”
It was wrong.
It was rude.
It was a crime he was committing.
He unfolded the piece of paper slowly – easily spotting the writing as masculine as he did so. He held it unfolded and read curiously. The whole tone of the letter was friendly but it was obviously a man who had sent it. Suddenly feeling a little less interested, he halfheartedly continued to read. Apparently it was someone who Michael had known from St.John's Seminary. They were also asking if Michael had decided what he wanted to do with his future.
The letter sounded brotherly, jovial, and very warm.
No wonder Michael had looked soft.
Still, Gabriel wondered about the mysterious “Gaby”. Some girl – most likely named Gabriella, had stolen his nickname and now he'd never hear Michael say it. He wanted to know who this other “Gaby” was... even though he knew it wasn't any of his business.
He folded the paper back up and laid it down in the spot he had found it. He then went and fetched a different shirt to wear, slipping it on and staring at himself in the mirror. It was eerie to do that now... as it looked like Michael was staring back at him – not his own reflection. He shuddered and turned away from the mirror and back out into the main room – just as the door opened. Michael was carrying a bundle of wet clothes in the basket. He walked out onto their small balcony and hung the clothes.
“I hope the stain comes out.”
Gabriel shrugged, smiling at Michael. “If not, it's an old shirt. It will be fine.”
“Still...”
Gabriel laughed, raising an eyebrow at Michael. The man was too much sometimes. But what was really too much was the way Michael would look at him sometimes. It would be a forlorn look, one that made Gabriel's chest ache. Those soft, sad eyes had begun to haunt his dreams lately because Michael looked at him like that often.
Embarrassed by his own thoughts, he shifted the conversation. “So! What would you like for dinner?”
- - -
Michael had never had company over before, but the minute Gabriel stepped into their foyer – he knew someone else was there. He quickly spotted another pair of shoes by Michael's and felt an ounce of disappointment at noticing the manly style of dress shoes. He took off his own and tread cautiously into the main room. His eyes immediately fell on Michael first.
He looked so happy – happier than Gabriel was use to seeing him. An odd pain pulsed through him at that but then his eyes sought out the person who was making his twin this happy.
A man about the same age and height as the two of them sat across from Michael, his green eyes dancing pleasantly with a very gentle expression in them. His brown hair cut chin length and cheekbones a little high.
“Ah, Gabriel. Welcome home. Cecil, this is Gabriel.”
“Aah....”
It was a hesitant reply, one that piqued Gabriel's curiosity. Why did this Cecil look so reluctant to even say anything to him? A stubbornness flashed through him and he felt the urge to be a bit impish.
“You didn't tell me you'd have friends over, Mike.”
Michael flushed. “Ah, I'm sorry. We can leave if you mind?”
“No, no, It's okay! I didn't mean it like that.” he chided before taking a seat beside Michael on the couch, looking at Cecil who sat in the sofa chair. “So, you're Cecil, hm?”
Cecil was silent for a moment before a smile formed on his lips. “Yes, I want to St. John's Seminary with Michael. It's good to meet Michael's twin brother.”
It felt as if there should have been a “finally” in there, but Gabriel didn't stew over it, instead he want straight to business. “Are you the one who sends letters?”
“Gabriel.”
Cecil glanced at Michael before frowning at Gabriel. “I have sent a letter or two, but I don't see the need when we meet up often. Why?”
Why indeed. Gabriel shrugged before turning the tone playful. “So, you've known Michael a long time then, huh?”
There was that softness again – between both of them this time. Gabriel felt his skin prickle at the fluffy air and wondered exactly why he felt this way. Cecil tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ears as his cheeks warmed.
“Yeah, I believe I have.”
As if sensing the negative direction of the conversation, Michael spoke up in a low tone. “That's enough Gabriel. Cecil, why don't we go talk in my room?”
“Eh? Oh, all right. It was nice meeting you, Gabriel.”
Gabriel felt a strong frown tug his lips down as he watched the two of them go in Michael's room and shut the door. A dark feeling was pooling inside of him and he wasn't sure why. He stood up and headed towards his room, quelling the urge to listen in on his twin.
After Cecil had left, Michael knocked on Gabriel's door. Gabriel hesitated to allow him entrance, but in the end couldn't find any reason to not reply.
Michael stepped in, giving Gabriel a curious, if not apologetic look.
“What was with you?”
“With me? There was nothing with me.”
“Why did it feel like you were about to interrogate Cecil?”
Because he was. Gabriel shrugged. “I think you were just a little on guard. Besides, is it so wrong for me to be curious about my twin?”
The blush on Michael's face made his light brown eyes appear all the more golden – it was beautiful. A strange thing for a man to think of his twin brother, but it was the truth.
“No... of course not.”
“Right? So! I hope you aren't mad at me...?”
There was that soft, sad, look again. “I could never stay mad at you.”
The husky way he said it and the look on his face made Gabriel's heart thump and gut curl. He swallowed around an already dry throat as he watched Michael's face before forcing himself to laugh.
- - -
Something was incredibly wrong with him.
He thought that as he had woke in the middle of the night to the soft sounds of a voice in the other room. He thought that as he trekked the path between the two bedrooms and looked in on his twin. At first, he told himself he was just checking in on him because it sounded like the man had been crying. But the minute he saw his twin, he knew he should leave... he should go back to his own bed and not watch this.
But he didn't.
The sight on the other bed captured him and chained him to the spot. There, on that bed, was Michael lying above the bedspread – completely naked and rubbing his arousal. Gabriel swallowed quietly as he watched Michael's hand move up and down his cock – stroking it slowly, teasing his tip before moving back down – again and again. The way Michael rotated his hips wasn't lost to Gabriel either. He watched Michael spread his legs more, his hips gyrating and then Gabriel saw the exposed pucker.
It looked soft and pink – pliant as if it was use to being played with.
With the lewd thought in his mind he chided himself. There was no way -
His mind short circuited as Michael's opposite hand was now stroking the exposed opening. Michael's shuddered breaths stroked his ear drums. The soft hiccups of what were pleased cries made Gabriel shuffle slightly, his erection straining against his pants.
A finger slipped inside and then Michael cried out – breaking the spell on Gabriel.
“Nnn.. Haa...Gaby, there!”
His eyes widened and he scurried back to his bedroom, the afterimage of Michael pleasuring himself while crying out his nickname burned into his mind.
It was awkward after that; not for Michael who remained unaware of being watched but for Gabriel who had the image of his twin imprinted in his mind.
Every moment together was now an awkward affair - from early tea and coffee to their leisurely evenings. Every time Gabriel found himself watching Michael, his hands and fingers especially.
It wasn't a real problem, however, until nightfall. Gabriel would lie down to sleep only to have Michael's image burning in his mind; the image of his twin arching his back, his hips rolling, and his fingers searching in his opening.
"Gaby!" Michael had cried.... The nickname Gabriel had wanted Michael to call him and now? Now even more so, but for a far different reason now.
He moaned wet around his accumulating saliva as he palmed himself. His eyes burned as he let himself slip further in his deprivation.
"Michael..."
His hand worked faster now, the image of his cock entering Michael while he held up one of his legs so clear in his mind. He cursed as his hand sped up and his penis grew slick with pre-cum. He shivered, toes curling and his hips lifting as his hand worked harder, his brow knitting as he watched himself. He felt as if he had no control of his hand as it moved up and down his cock.
“Hn...”
His eyes fluttered shut again as pleasure was beginning to sizzle and pop. His mouth fell agape as he thumbed his cockhead, smearing the precum before rolling his hand back down to the shift. He gripped the bedspread in his opposite hand as the image of Michael's fingers moving in and out of his opening flashed in his mind again, making him clench his arousal harder, thrusting up in his hand as he came.
His eyes popped open and he swore it felt as if he had been floating as he was suddenly jolted back into reality – the reality of the cooling cum on his belly and the burning reminder of who he had masturbated over. He swallowed over the growing lump in his throat and sat up, wincing as he felt the sticky residue slowly roll down his abdomen.
He sat there for a moment longer, feeling a self loathing build inside of him.
- - -
After succumbing to his desires, Gabriel felt on edge around his twin more often than not and he was sure Michael noticed it. If Michael stood a little too close or looked at him a certain way, Gabriel would feel himself tense up and distance himself. But what was worse than automatically doing these things was Michael's reaction to it.
He would look at him sadly, but there was a relief in those golden eyes that pained and frustrated Gabriel.
“Mail's here.”
Gabriel blinked, looking at the mail in Michael's hands. He took his, their fingers brushing as he did so. Gabriel felt Michael pause as he did so as well before they both turned their attentions to their mail. The sound of Michael opening one of his envelopes caused Gabriel to watch him.
“Cecil?”
Michael blinked, looking at Gabriel with surprise. His brow furrowed. “No, a friend of mine.”
“The same one as before?”
“...Yes.”
Gabriel shifted, laying his bills down. “Someone you knew from St. John's Seminary?”
Michael stared at Gabriel, eyes roaming over the man's face. Gabriel felt a sting in his chest and wondered if reaching out now was a mistake. But when Michael walked around the couch and took a seat by Gabriel, the younger twin felt his heart palpitate harder. Michael nodded.
“Yeah. His name is Neil Lowell. He was kind of like a big brother figure to me.”
“I see. It's nice he still sends you letters.”
“Yeah...”
The heat from Michael's thigh was seeping into his and making Gabriel feel more aware of Michael than he should be. It also stirred up his memories – reminding him of the night he watched Michael as well as the night he had masturbated over his twin. He took in a stuttered breath and noticed Michael breath in deeply as well.
Neither moved their legs.
Gabriel swallowed, pressing his leg a little closer. “I wish some of my mail were nice letters. Instead they are just bills.”
Michael's leg pressed back. “You don't get any letters?”
Gabriel's heart was working into overdrive, his eyes flitting to their legs and then to Michael's hand so close to his. He licked his lips and laughed. “Occasionally? My parents will send one once and awhile but mostly? Just bills.”
“I see...”
The two sat there for a moment before Michael breathed out. “I'll go start some tea.”
Gabriel swallowed as Michael pressed his hand against his thigh, rubbing as he stood up and walked into the kitchenette. Gabriel stared at the doorway, his heart hammering and his mind pounding. His legs were wobbly as he stood and moved forward.
He walked into the kitchen, looking at Michael's back. The sight of it was comforting and it felt like home... why did it feel like that? He reached forward, hand landing on Michael's shoulder and turning him around. His heart nearly burst at the sight of the red flush on the man's cheeks.
“Gabriel?”
“Michael...”
Michael's eyes widened as their lips met, colliding and slotting together. It was a chaste kiss – one that didn't last long as he pulled away, eyes hooded, until he took in Michael's shocked expression. Following that shock was a hurt that he couldn't put his finger on... and then there were tears.
“Michael?”
Those tearful eyes were searching his before he shook his head. “Don't call me that...”
“Huh? But-”
“Gaby... Gaby called me that... please... I...”
Gabriel blinked as he was shoved aside and Michael slammed his bedroom door behind himself. His soft cries heard from beyond the door.
Gabriel stared at the kettle and cursed himself. Why had he kissed Michael? Everything was a mess now....
- - -
Everything was not a mess now, which surprised Gabriel as he and Michael shared dinner later that night. They were eating in silence until Michael finally spoke up after wiping his mouth.
“I'm sorry about earlier.”
“It's okay.”
“But...why did you kiss me?”
Gabriel bit his lips as he felt his ears burn. How was he supposed to respond to that. He swallowed, tasting the dinner on his palate along with a bitter nervousness. “I'm not sure.”
Michael's eyes searched him and he sighed. “You can call me Michael if you want.”
“You sure? I don't want-”
Michael held up a hand. “It's fine. As long... as I can call you Gaby.”
Heat pooled in Gabriel's stomach at the thought before he tilted his head. “You sure that's okay?”
“Yeah... Gaby... Gaby would want me to do it, I think.”
Gabriel's brow furrowed but he shrugged. “I don't really understand, but I'd be happy if you called me Gaby.”
“Alright then... Gaby.”
The lowered tone, those hooded eyes... Gabriel felt the heat turn into a blaze and he felt something stoke the fires within him as he smiled back.
“Michael.”
They both shared a look and Gabriel was unaware of the big step Michael took today, a step toward his own acceptance and progress. He was moving forward and learning to move on – but still remember.