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Logically, Katsuki knew he was being stupid. He was in his second year at U.A., he knew the rules. If one got hit with a quirk, on or off campus, they were supposed to tell their attending teacher immediately. Given that Class A had been through so much shit, Principal Nedzu had granted Aizawa-sensei the right to be their homeroom teacher until they graduate, given that he was probably one of the only teachers that could deal with them and protect them.
But Katsuki was never one to admit weakness. He’d been at his internship with Endeavor when he’d been struck by the petty thief’s quirk, and he had reported the incident to the flaming bag of garbage. Technically he couldn’t get in trouble if anyone found out that he’d kept it to himself.
Bakugou stuffed his hands in his pockets, his bag rocking steadily on his shoulder as he walked through the campus towards Heights Alliance. His internship had run late at Endeavor’s, as he had the night shift for the next few weeks. Shitty Half-n-Half was working under his father too, but he had the day shift, so he and Bakugou didn’t see much of each other unless the bastard was awake when Bakugou got back. Katsuki could admit to himself that he and Todoroki were kind of, sort of, maybe friends now, not that he would ever tell the bastard that. Deku had switched his internship to the day shift with Todoroki, although occasionally he would ask to patrol with Bakugou. The fucking over-achiever.
Bakugou’s mind began to wander back to the bitch that had hit him with her quirk. She’d been nothing but a burglar, breaking into a closed jewelry shop to try and steal some big-time diamonds. The alarm had gone off and alerted Bakugou, as the closest hero to her location. He’d apprehended her just fine, but not before she touched him with all five of her fingers and did something weird to him.
‘ It’s a nightmare quirk,’ he remembered the Endeavor agency’s medic telling him. ‘ We checked the registry, and apparently if she touches you with all five fingers, then the next time you fall asleep you will live through your worst nightmare. Others that have been hit with this quirk have been known to wake up from the nightmare to try and hurt themselves, so I highly suggest that you alert your homeroom teacher the moment you get back to your dorms.’
‘ Yeah, right,’ Katsuki thought, rolling his eyes to himself. He paused in front of the doors to Height’s Alliance, slinging his backpack off of his shoulder to dig for his school I.D.. He had to scan it just to get into the building, which he was actually thankful for. After meeting the Toga bitch, it was good to know that she wouldn’t be able to just get right into the dorms at any time she wanted. ‘ I’m not weak enough to need fucking supervision. I can handle a little nightmare. It’s not like I don’t have enough of them already.’
It was the sad truth. Katsuki had suffered from nightmares ever since the USJ incident in their first year, only to have them worsen with every horrible attack that Class A had suffered through. His kidnapping was undoubtedly the worst, even though nothing had really happened to him while he’d been gone. The villains had only spoken to him, maybe hit him once or twice, but nothing extreme. He had no scars to show for it.
Katsuki’s I.D. went through the system, and the doors unlocked themselves. He tucked the card back into his bag and wrenched open the heavy double door, waltzing inside like nothing was wrong. Even though it was nearly five in the morning, there were still a few extras milling around between the common room and the kitchen area. A few of them were the ridiculously early risers, the way Katsuki usually was; Iida, Yaomomo, Shoji and Deku. Then there were the people who looked like they hadn’t even gone to sleep yet, mainly Tokoyami and Shinsou, who’d replaced Mineta at the beginning of the year. Tokoyami and Shinsou appeared to be deep in a discussion about some poetry book they’d read together, and as Katsuki walked deeper into the common area to peek into the kitchen, he found that Yaomomo and Shoji appeared to be making breakfast together. It was the weekend, so no one technically had breakfast duty for the rest of the dorms, but Yaomomo was the kind of girl who genuinely enjoyed serving other people. It helped that she made some kickass pancakes.
Iida and Deku were sitting at the kitchen table, talking about their training routine. The two of them had been running together for months now, challenging each other with and without their quirks. They were the only two in Class A that utilized their legs for their quirks, and boy, could everyone tell. Iida’s calves were ripped, but Katsuki didn’t care about that. Oh no. The object of his desire was, and always had been, Midoriya fucking Izuku. Deku had been Katsuki’s gay awakening, which was a bit surprising considering how much a gangly nerd the guy used to be. Still, he’d always had eyes that shined like the stars, and a smile that could shine the sun to shame. In middle school, he’d been adorably awkward, with his fluffy curls, wide eyes and chubby, freckled cheeks.
In U.A., the guy had gotten almost unbearably attractive. He was what Mina called a “beefcake,” meaning he’d bulked up a fuckton since even their first year. He could even give Kirishima a run for his money in musculature, although he’d been outlifting them all for as long as he could remember. (Deku had told him it was because when All Might was training him, back before One for All, the hero had made Deku drag multiple fridges across the beach. With All Might sitting on top. That was at least eight hundred pounds, and he did it quirkless??) He was still shorter than Katsuki, and still had those fluffy curls that he could not for the life of him contain. He still smiled like sunshine came out of his ass, and still had those eyes that could make Katsuki do anything he wanted, if he would just ask . At heart, he was the same Deku. Now in a new, fuckable package.
Bakugou realized he was staring at Izuku and quickly turned around, heading for the fridge so he could grab a bottle of water before he’d collapse into bed. His sleep schedule was fucked up so bad because of his night shift, and he honestly couldn’t wait until he could go back to falling asleep at eight-thirty at night and waking up along with Deku and Iida. Stupid fucking Endeavor and his stupid fucking assignments.
“Hey, Bakugou-kun!” Yaomomo said cheerily, turning from her pancakes to smile at him. “You’re back! How was your patrol?”
“S’boring,” he mumbled, yanking open the fridge to peer inside. Shoji turned from where he was whisking eggs together, one of his appendages turning into a mouth so he could speak.
“Oh? Nothing to brag about today?”
“Shut the fuck up, you fucking bootleg porn plot,” Bakugou snapped. He grabbed a bottle of gatorade and slammed the fridge shut. “I’m fucking tired, okay? Leave me alone.”
“Bootleg porn plot,” Shoji muttered to himself, turning back to his eggs. “That’s a new one.”
“Go to sleep, Bakugou-kun,” Yaomomo said kindly. “If you ever want anything to help you sleep, I could make you some melatonin tablets, or you could have some of my sleepy tea.”
“I’m plenty exhausted enough,” Katsuki snorted, cracking open his drink before taking a good, long gulp. “Thanks anyway, Ponytail. You’re not half bad.”
Yaomomo beamed like this was the highest compliment. “Why, thank you Bakugou-kun. You’re not so bad yourself.”
“Yes, I am,” Katsuki deadpanned, turning to leave the kitchen. “Have fun, fuckers!”
Trudging to the elevator, Katsuki pressed the ‘up’ button and took the moment to think over what his game plan was. Given that most dreams tended to start an hour and a half after falling asleep, and lasted for about ten minutes, he planned to set an alarm for a hour and forty minutes so that he could wake himself out of whatever nightmare would come to him. Hopefully, if that didn’t work for some reason, the nightmare wouldn’t last long anyway. He didn’t think he’d do what those other fuckers had, trying to hurt himself or some shit, so he wasn’t going to worry about that.
Climbing into the elevator, he pressed the button for the fourth floor and waited while it jerked to life. Just in case, he supposed he would leave his room unlocked so that if anything were to happen, someone could come inside and wake him up easily. He’d probably wear his quirk-proof gloves to bed, just so that he wouldn’t do anything stupid like blow up the fucking dorms in his sleep.
With a plan set, he went ahead and stepped out of the elevator, making his way to his dorm room. He was dragging his feet, so exhausted that he had to wonder if the woman’s quirk had anything to do with it. He unlocked his door and stepped inside, dropping his bag and the now-sealed gatorade just inside the entryway, dragging himself across the room to flop down onto his bed. Finally, time for his precious sleep.
(x)
The entire place smelled like smoke and rotting garbage. Katsuki’s head ached as he opened his eyes, confusion flooding his being for a moment before clarity struck him. He jerked awake, muscles pulling against the chains that kept him pinned to the chair as adrenaline pumped through his blood. He looked around, unsurprised to find himself back inside the shitty bar that the League of Villains tended to frequent. All Might and his battle with All for One had destroyed the previous bar that they’d stayed in, but these days it seemed like they were always shifting from one underground bar to the next. This place was no exception.
What was out of place was the figure chained down to the chair directly to Katsuki’s left. He was awake already, glistening green eyes staring helplessly at Katsuki as he wiggled and writhed against the restraints holding him in place. Katsuki would know that face anywhere, even if something about it seemed different than he remembered.
Deku had a gag in his mouth so he couldn’t speak, but the look of pure fear on his young face made it easy to guess what he was thinking. He was wearing the uniform to their middle school, the baggy material hanging off of his thin frame comically. Katsuki couldn’t shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong with this situation; Deku wasn’t supposed to look like this, was he? The blond tried to conjure up an image of what Deku was “supposed” to look like, but every time he got close, it was like it slid out of grasp. It didn’t take long for him to give up completely, figuring there was some sort of deja-vu situation going on.
“What are you doing here, Deku?” Katsuki croaked to the boy, his voice barely a whisper, as if he’d been screaming. Deku sniffled, no longer jerking against his chains.
“I was following you,” Deku said softly, his lower lip beginning to tremble. God, he couldn’t have been older than eleven, but that couldn’t be right. He and Deku had always been the same age… hadn’t they? “For… for my h-hero notebook.”
Katsuki bared his teeth at the boy, frustration beginning to build inside of him. “What have I told you about running into danger, fucking Deku! You’re quirkless!”
Deku hung his head, wet spots dripping onto his school pants. “I- I know, K-Kacchan… I won’t do it again.”
“No, you won’t,” a new voice said, a figure stepping out of the shadows. Both Katsuki and Deku whipped to face the newcomer, Bakuguou’s eyes widening with horror at the sight of him. It was All for One, with his mutilated face and missing his life support system, standing at the very edge of the room. Maybe he’d even been there the entire time.
“ You ,” Bakugou snarled, willing his quirk to activate. No sparks came from the hands behind the back of his chair. “You’re supposed to be in Tartarus!” Tartarus was the highest-security villain prison in all of Japan. It was where All for One had gone after his defeat, and where he should have stayed until he died, shrivelled and alone. Obviously that hadn’t happened.
“Silly boy,” All for One said smoothly, a grin beginning to twist his ugly features even uglier. “Whatever makes you think I would stay in there? With all of the power I wield?” Slowly, the monster’s eyes turned onto Deku, glinting with interest. “And now, I have your biggest weakness.”
“I don’t have any weaknesses,” Katsuki spat, even though his heart began pounding uncomfortably at the interest All for One showed in Deku. The greenet was well and truly crying now, albeit silent tears that ran down his cheeks and dripped onto his lap haphazardly. Katsuki warred with himself between wanting to hiss at the boy to stop being a baby, and the unexplainable urge he had to break out of his restraints to wrap him up safely and never let him go.
“Oh? So you won’t mind if I kill this boy?” All for One asked, quirking a deformed eyebrow at him. Everything inside of Katsuki raged at the very thought, every single cell in his body demanding that he fight against everything and keep Deku safe. He was just a weak little child, he didn’t deserve to die at the hands of the worst supervillain the world had ever seen. Katsuki opened his mouth to snarl more insults at All for One, but was absolutely horrified at the words that came out.
“Go ahead. He’s nothing but a worthless Deku, anyway.”
‘ No, no, no! Why did I say that?’ Katsuki’s mind shrieked. ‘ Don’t kill him, please don’t kill him! Open your fucking mouth and beg , Katsuki!’
“K-Kacchan?” Deku squeaked, those huge emeralds watching Bakugou with the utmost sense of betrayal. “You-you’re gonna let him-m k-kill me?”
‘ No! I’ll get us out of this!’ Katsuki wanted to scream. It was like his mouth was sealed shut however, not letting him make a single sound.
“I suppose I was wrong,” All for One said, his torso beginning to deform as those same jagged, red spikes from that day appeared. Katsuki could do nothing but watch in shocked dismay as Deku lifted his head to look All for One in the eye, his tears still dripping.
“P-please don’t hurt me,” he sobbed, his shoulders shaking. “Please, I- I don’t deserve to die!”
“That isn’t what your friend thinks,” All for One told Deku, one of those red-and-black spines reaching to touch the bottom of Deku’s chin, forcing him to lift his head. All for One’s head turned to Katsuki as if to check his reaction, even though the man didn’t have a visible pair of eyes.
Then, in one swift motion, he used the five spikes to impale Deku’s body.
All of the life left the boy in moments, his bright jade irises fading into a dull green, all of the fearful tension in his muscles melting away into slackness. Blood dripped down his front as All for One brutally yanked the spikes out of him, the greenet’s form slumping over in his seat.
“DEKU!” Katsuki cried, jerking so hard in his chair in his desperation to get to Izuku’s body that he could feel one of his shoulders yank out of its socket. He didn’t pay any attention to the nearly blinding pain, kicking his feet against the ground. “Deku, oh my god- no, no, no. Wake up you asshole! Hey, fucking wake up! This isn’t fucking funny! Deku?”
All for One’s spikes drifted back into his torso as if they’d never appeared in the first place. The man began to laugh quietly to himself at the show Katsuki was putting on, crossing his arms over his chest. Bakugou didn’t pay him any attention, keeping his eyes fixed on what had used to be his childhood friend.
“ Izuku ?” Katsuki croaked out hoarsely. The body in front of him didn’t answer.
“You did this to him,” All for One said, actually sounding sorry for what he had done. Katsuki turned his head to look at the freakshow, refusing to acknowledge the hot tears running down his cheeks.
“No I didn’t! You did!” he screamed. “You’re a fucking monster! He never did anything to you!”
“He never did anything to you,” All for One echoed to Katsuki, nodding slowly. “If that’s the case, why did you hate him so much? Why did you allow him to die?”
Bakugou froze, eyes wide as the villain’s words sunk in. He… was right. Deku had never done anything to him, not really. Katsuki had spent the majority of his childhood thinking that Deku was looking down on him, calling him weak and useless just like his own mother had always screamed at him. Yet, if he’d taken even a moment of his time to truly try and understand Izuku, he would have known that there wasn’t a mean bone in his body. Deku had never done anything but love Katsuki, and all he had given back to him was insecurity and spite.
And now he was dead, and Katsuki would never be able to make it up to him again. The sheer horror and despair he felt at this notion was enough to crumple him over in his chair, the restraints on his wrists pulling uncomfortably at his skin.
‘ Deku…’ was his last thought before a blasting siren broke through his mind.
(x)
Katsuki woke up screaming, his heart pounding so hard in his chest that he was sure it was about to break through his rib cage. Flashes of Deku, strapped to a chair with his dead, unresponsive eyes, played through his mind over and over again. The Deku from the vision and the Deku from the present blended together in his mind, pieces of eleven year-old Deku’s tear stained face mixing with seventeen year-old Deku’s smile. It was disconcerting, and Katsuki couldn’t tell what was real and what was fake.
‘ Is Deku dead?’ He thought, shooting out of his bed and onto his feet. His knees were so shaky that he fell down into a kneeling position, pressing one of his sparking hands to his heart. He could feel its frantic beat through every vein, artery and cell in his body. He was vaguely aware of a loud ringing noise throughout the room, but he didn’t recognize it as the alarm he had set. ‘ Did I kill him? Did I let that bastard kill my Deku?’
‘ You did,’ something inside of him hissed. It didn’t sound like his own inner voice, but it did sound like a part of him. ‘ You’re a monster, Bakugou Katsuki. You murdered your friend in cold blood. Monster .’
“No,” Katsuki gasped into the stale air of the room. “No, I didn’t- I didn’t mean to!”
‘ Yes you did,’ the voice whispered. ‘ Didn’t you tell him to kill himself? Didn’t you taunt him and bully him for years? Did you not drive him to his fate like a master to its mule?’
“I never meant any of it!” Katsuki cried, not even embarrassed about the river of tears streaming down his face. “Oh gods… what did I do?”
‘ You know what you did,’ the voice crooned. ‘ And you know how to fix it. You have to make it right.’
“Make it right…” Katsuki glanced out of the corner of his eye. The curtains over the doors that led to his balcony were open, allowing the daylight outside to creep in. It was still too early on the weekends for the majority of his classmates to be awake, but some of them probably still were. He supposed it didn’t matter, with what he needed to do…
He stumbled to his feet and wrenched open the balcony doors, shuffling to the edge of it to peer over. He lived on the fourth floor of the dorms to the balconies stacked below his, and to the ground floor. He was over forty feet in the air, and the chances of the fall killing him were a little over half… more so if he took a “swan dive” onto his head…
Before he could really register what he was doing, he had climbed up onto the edge of the balcony, his bare toes curling over the edge. He could feel the gentle breeze pressing against him, as if urging him to let go. ‘ You know you have to do it,’ that hissing voice told him. ‘ It’s the only way to pay for what you did. You’re a monster. You killed your best friend.’
“I killed him…” Katsuki muttered under his breath, staring at the ground. “I killed Deku…”
‘ You killed him,’ the voice muttered again. Except this time, it was drowned out by another voice.
“Kacchan? Kacchan, I’m right here! You didn’t kill me!”
Katsuki paused, a bit of the foggy feeling in his mind fading. He twisted to look over his shoulder, shocked to find almost the entirety of Class 1-A standing both inside of his room and crowded in the hallway. At the front of the pack, actually inside of his room were that half-and-half bastard, Round Face, Shitty Hair, Raccoon Eyes, and…
“Deku?” Katsuki croaked. Hope swirled in his chest, causing all of his limbs to twitch violently.
‘ It’s a trick!’ the voice hissed. ‘ You saw it, you killed him! He’s fucking dead and it’s all your fault! That one isn’t real!’
“You’re… you’re not real,” Bakugou spoke. Deku’s emerald eyes were shining with tears. He took a step closer to Katsuki, holding a hand out like he was a spooked horse, or a wild dog. Katsuki cringed away from the hand, sure that he wouldn’t be able to bear it if the illusion of his friend touched him. It would hurt too much when the touch didn’t connect.
“I’m real,” Deku soothed. “Kacchan… Katsuki , I’m real. I’m right here, I’m okay. Listen to me, you got hit with a quirk when you were on patrol earlier this morning. Endeavor called me and told me all about it. Whatever you dreamed, it was just that- a dream .”
‘ Liar!’ The voice screamed.
“You’re lying,” Katsuki frowned. “Stop lying to me!”
“I’m not lying!” Deku cried. “Kacchan, do you remember what All Might and I told you towards the middle of our first year?”
‘ One for All,’ something that finally sounded like Katsuki’s inner voice spoke. ‘ They trusted you with the secret of One for All. That was real.’
“Do you remember what you said to me at All Might’s funeral?” Deku asked, breaking through more of the fog clouding Katsuki’s mind.
He racked his brain to try and remember what Izuku was talking about. “I… I said…”
“You said that All Might christened us as the Wonder Duo, and so we would be the best fucking hero duo the world had ever seen,” Deku said gently. “Do you remember that?”
He did. He remembered All Might’s funeral, and the pure heartbreak that had been in Deku’s eyes that day. The crushing weight of responsibility that the two of them had felt, knowing that they would have to deal with everything One for All related all by themselves from then on. Gran Torino had died during the final battle between Shigaraki and the League, and Detective Tsukauchi didn’t know nearly enough to be of any help to them.
Katsuki remembered feeling oddly thankful that Deku wouldn’t have to deal with it all alone. That the two of them could finally do something right together.
Just like that, it was like a dam broke over his mind. Katsuki inhaled sharply, jerking himself off of the ledge and back onto his balcony. He landed on his ass like a fucking loser, but couldn’t bring himself to care when flashes of the crippling nightmare wound through his brain once more. Deku as a scrawny little boy, his face slack and inexpressive as it would ever be, blood dripping from the corner of his lips and pooling out of the gaping wound in his abdomen from where All for One had stabbed him…
And then suddenly the familiar scent of green apples and coconut surrounded him. He was pulled into warm, familiar arms, squeezing him on just the wrong side of too-tight. “Kacchan, holy shit. Holy fucking shit Kacchan, don’t you ever scare me like that again.”
Katsuki couldn’t help it. He buried his face in Deku’s shoulder, shakily breathing his scent in to calm himself. Despite their estrangement they’d had for years, even as a child Deku’s scent signified home and safety to Katsuki. That moment was no different. The volatile blond wrapped his arms around Deku’s sturdy middle, squeezing him back just as tightly as the smaller boy hugged him. It was as grounding as the tightness around his own midsection was.
It was okay. Everything was okay. Deku was safe, he wasn’t dead, and it wasn’t Katsuki’s fault. All for One was in Tartarus, and nobody would ever hurt Deku again. Not on Katsuki’s watch.