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“A—”
Luka almost called out Adrien’s name as his vision went white and fireworks exploded behind his eyelids.
He was about ninety-seven percent sure that he was right, but on the off chance that he was wrong, he didn’t want to make things awkward.
Chat Noir would pout and sulk and drip with jealousy if Luka said the wrong name.
Luka’s entire body went limp, and he waited in a blissful haze for Chat to finish and join him.
Before long, Chat slumped forward, head coming to rest on Luka’s sternum with a contented sigh, and they lay there like that a few minutes until the languor started to fade and they began to feel gross.
Chat pushed himself up off of Luka and onto all fours, leaning in to give Luka’s ear a nip.
“Too fast,” he pouted, making Luka snort in laughter.
“Well, you did kind of bound into my room and maul me like a vicious animal. What did you expect?” he challenged.
Chat shrugged, slipping off the bed and starting to clean up. “I’ve given up on expectations. Expectations only make me unhappy when people don’t live up to them. It’s much nicer to be pleasantly surprised sometimes than constantly disappointed.”
Chat said it matter-of-factly, but Luka could feel the deep hurt behind the words.
He winced. “Someone sounds jaded. Did something happen with your father again?”
Chat shook his head. “I’ve decided that I don’t have a father.”
Luka’s eyes widened, his mouth forming a small “o”.
“I mean, that jerk has never been a father to me, so this is just me finally admitting the truth: I don’t have a father. I’m an orphan.” He’d meant to say it proudly, defiantly, but it just came out stark and a bit too exposed in the quiet of the little cabin.
“I’m sorry,” Luka offered, getting up and starting to strip the bed.
“Thanks,” Chat muttered, a wash of melancholia flooding in, drowning the contentment of minutes before. “…Can I stay the night?” he inquired tentatively but then immediately thought better of it, backtracking. “Is that too couple-y? Sorry. I know we’re not…like…I know this is just sex, but—”
“—Chat Noir,” Luka cut him off gently, turning to cup Chat’s face lovingly in his hand. “It’s okay,” he assured with a warm smile. “The sex is just sex…but that doesn’t mean we’re not still friends. If you need to not go home, you’re perfectly welcome to stay here. I’m happy to cuddle and talk.”
In Adrien’s experience, sharing a bed and the cuddling and kissing that was sure to come with it was not a platonic activity. He couldn’t imagine the same thing not being crossing a line with his other friends, but he was desperate not to be alone and depressed, so he didn’t voice his confusion about where the line between platonic and romantic fell.
Once they were both clean and the sheets had been changed, they lay cuddled up in bed, Chat Noir’s face buried in the crook of Luka’s neck as Luka lazily ran a hand up and down Chat’s back.
Mentally, Adrien kicked himself as he considered the mess he found himself in.
It had happened so quickly, so thoughtlessly.
Sneaking out as Chat Noir for nighttime visits to some of his friends, growing close to Luka without being able to tell Luka who he was.
Ladybug would kill him, possibly take away Plagg. He couldn’t risk it.
Besides, it was already too late.
He should have kissed Luka as Adrien the summer before.
They were lying out on the ping-pong table on the upper deck at sunset, watching the clouds dissipate into tiger lily orange and flaming reds kissed on the edges by a light canary yellow.
Luka was talking about a song he was writing, humming little snatches and asking Adrien’s thoughts.
Luka pushed himself up on his elbow, looking down at Adrien. “It’s about you,” he informed meaningfully.
Adrien should have kissed him.
But Adrien was a coward.
“Really? Thank you. I’m really honored. I mean, that’s amazing that I could inspire a song,” Adrien babbled, blushing and looking away, clearly uncomfortable.
“You inspire a lot of my songs,” Luka tried again, unable to read the mixed signals but still hopeful.
Adrien sat up and hopped down off of the ping-pong table. “You’ll have to play them for me when they’re done,” Adrien laughed nervously. “Sorry. I’ve got to go. I forgot I have to…uh…go help out at Marinette’s family’s bakery,” he repeated the excuse Marinette had just used earlier that day. It had been so memorable because it was one of the few excuses she gave that didn’t sound absolutely ridiculous and like an obvious lie.
It sounded absolutely ridiculous and like an obvious lie when it came out of Adrien’s mouth, though.
“Oh. Okay,” Luka replied, expression a little puzzled, a tiny bit hurt, but, otherwise, carefully blank.
Adrien made a break for it, beating himself up because he’d ruined everything, and now Luka was going to give up and move on, and there went Adrien’s chance.
He’d been too afraid, though. Afraid that he would disappoint Luka and then they wouldn’t even be able to be friends afterwards.
So Adrien hadn’t kissed Luka. He’d run and immediately regretted it.
He was still regretting it a month later when, as Chat Noir, he’d been sitting with Luka in the deckchairs at the bow of the ship watching the stars.
In a sudden burst of idiocy and determination, he kissed Luka.
He’d meant for it to be a firm, confident kiss…but he underestimated the power of hormones and how desperately in love he was.
The kiss turned needy and feral in less than two seconds, and then Chat was in Luka’s lap, and things just…sort of escalated from there.
He was kind of horrified when it was over.
Luka and Chat Noir stared at each other in amazement, stupefied and speechless.
And then Chat ran.
Because Chat too was a coward, and he couldn’t stand the thought of having to actually talk about what had happened and what it meant.
Adrien lay awake for hours wondering if that counted as losing his virginity.
He stayed away as Adrien for a while, unable to face Luka.
When he did go back, it was as Chat Noir.
Luka tried to talk to him, but Chat panicked and pounced Luka. Luka only put up minimal resistance at first, and Chat Noir went home unquestionably no longer a virgin.
It was the third time that Luka made it clear that what was going on between them was just sex. He said he couldn’t date a masked superhero.
“I need someone I can picture a future, a life, with,” he informed sadly. “A serious relationship. My body is one thing; my heart is another entirely.”
Chat couldn’t argue with that.
Adrien started showing his face around the Liberty again, and his friendship with Luka seemed to pick up where it had left off. Luka never mentioned the ping-pong table incident, and Adrien reasoned that Luka was over it, over him.
Not that Adrien could really blame Luka. There wasn’t much about Adrien to hold a guy’s interest, in Adrien’s opinion.
Meanwhile, Chat Noir dropped by at least once a week. Sometimes they just talked. Sometimes it was just a booty call. Sometimes they talked until talking turned to love making. Sometimes they made love until their bodies seemed to fade away and they were just two minds, two souls joined on a level beyond anything the paltry physical plane could conceive.
Somehow, a year had passed since Chat Noir had first kissed Luka, and Adrien, not for the first time, lamented how wrong he’d managed to make things.
“What are you thinking about?” Luka mumbled into Chat’s hair, hand still moving rhythmically up and down his back.
“Times when I should have kissed you and times when I shouldn’t have,” Chat sullenly grumbled, internally hating himself.
Luka hummed languidly. “You mean without the mask on?”
“Yeah,” Chat muttered, giving Luka’s throat a light nip.
“Careful,” Luka teased. “You shouldn’t give me hints that we know each other when you’re not transformed.”
“…I hate this,” Chat groaned, pushing himself up to peer down at Luka intently. “At the risk of ruining everything: I’m in love with you, and I need you to go out with me. This whole thing between us isn’t just scratching an itch for me. I’m serious about you, Luka.”
Luka stared up into inhuman green eyes and saw the vehemence and desperation there.
He almost gave in. He was so tired. He wanted to give in…but he deserved more than these late-night trysts with Chat Noir. He deserved a relationship he could take out into the light of day.
Keeping his voice level, he replied, “How serious can you be, hiding behind that mask?” He reached up and ran a finger along the lip of the magical material.
Chat visibly flinched. “That’s not fair.”
Luka shook his head. “I know, but that’s how it is. I can’t date Chat Noir.”
“But you can screw me,” Chat seethed bitterly.
Luka let out an ironic snicker. “You’re the one doing most of the screwing.”
Chat rolled his eyes, biting a hurt and annoyed, “Don’t screw with me,” back at Luka.
“Hey, you are the one double dealing with me,” Luka informed flatly, a bit of resentment seeping out around the edges. “You’re the one who hides his identity and gets close to me as a civilian, pretending that all of this afterhours stuff isn’t happening. Who exactly would you say is screwing with whom, Chat Noir?”
Chat looked away, sitting up and turning to dangle his legs over the side of the bed, feeling awful.
“You’re punishing me,” Chat whimpered.
“Maybe,” Luka conceded.
He sat up and wrapped his arms around Chat Noir from behind, nuzzling Chat’s neck comfortingly. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not really your fault, but…you have to understand that I can’t date a guy whose name I don’t know, whose real eyes I’ve never seen…. I don’t know where you live, how to get in touch with you, when your birthday is, where you go to school…. There’s so much about you that’s a mystery, and that’s not how healthy relationships work.”
“I know,” Chat muttered, unable to fight back.
“Chat Noir, I need a boyfriend I can introduce people to…a boyfriend who can be a part of my life.”
Chat nodded without any energy, accepting his fate.
Luka took a deep breath before betting it all on a risky gamble: “Besides…I’m already in love with someone else.”
Chat wilted, his throat closing up as he struggled to comprehend how everything he wanted had just slipped through his fingers.
“He’s a close friend,” Luka hastened to add, not wanting to draw out Chat’s suffering. “I’m not really certain how he feels about me, but I’m crazy about him. I have been for a long time, and I think I owe it to myself to see where things go with him.”
Chat nodded, not actually hearing the empty, meaningless words.
“His name is Adrien,” Luka confessed. “Adrien Agreste.”
Chat’s body tensed in Luka’s hold, and Luka found himself going still as well.
“You want to date this Adrien Agreste guy?” Chat verified, tone emotionless.
“Yes,” Luka replied, really starting to fear that he’d gotten it wrong.
Chat broke away, heading for the porthole window. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“Chat Noir!” Luka called after him, heart turning to lead and sinking in his chest.
But Chat Noir didn’t pause to look back.
Luka cursed, burying his face in his hands and dropping back down onto the bed where he agonized over what the odds were that he’d fallen in love with two painfully sweet, green-eyed, blonde boys.
Ten minutes later, there was a knock at the cabin door.
Luka couldn’t be bothered to get up. Thinking it was probably Juleka, he groaned miserably, “Come in, but be nice. I’m kind of in turmoil at the moment.”
“I’m always nice,” Adrien snickered, feeling an odd satisfaction at having made Luka writhe like that. It served him right for telling Chat he was in love with Adrien. “But I can come back some other time, if now’s not good.”
Luka sat up and gawked at the gorgeous young man leaning in his doorway as if it were his job to convince people to buy doorways because just maybe someone that attractive would come lean in them.
“Oh,” Luka greeted eruditely.
Adrien smiled. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Luka repeated breathlessly. “It’s you.”
Adrien shrugged, very much enjoying the fact that he had so unsettled Luka. It was nice to feel like he had the upper hand for once. “I mean…I’m usually me.”
In three lithe strides, Adrien was up on the bed, pushing Luka down and kissing him hard, demandingly.
“I’m in love with you,” Adrien informed in the seconds between rough kisses. “Go out with me.”
Luka burst out laughing, overjoyed and relieved. “There! See? Was that really so hard?”
Adrien let out a low growl, nipping Luka’s ear. “You’re such a jerk. I have no idea what you’re talking about, and I hate you. Now, answer the questions already: will you go out with me?”
“Yes,” Luka giggled. “Yes, yes, yes. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Good to know you’re easy to please,” Adrien snorted, settling back down into Luka’s arms and tucking his head under Luka’s chin. “…May I stay the night?” he asked tentatively, all of the teasing in his voice replaced by vulnerability.
“Of course,” Luka assured, his laughter dissipating. “You’re always welcome here, so stay as long as you need. Move in.”
Adrien nodded, letting himself relax a little. “I might need to do that for a bit, actually.”
Luka’s hold on Adrien tightened. “…Are you okay?”
Adrien shook his head, effectively nuzzling Luka’s neck. “Yes? No? I don’t know. I’m not physically injured, but…”
Luka stayed quiet, just holding Adrien and waiting for him to continue.
“…I’m moving out on my own. It’s past time, I think. I just…I don’t know what I’m doing exactly,” he sighed, sinking into Luka for support. “Will you help me with apartment shopping? I’m a defenseless creature not equipped to survive out in the real world. They raised me that way on purpose,” he informed in a mix of embarrassment and resentment.
“Shh,” Luka soothed, his hand going back to stroking Adrien’s back up and down in a slow, methodical pattern. “Of course. I’ll always be there for you, Adrien. Don’t worry. Whatever comes our way, we can handle it together.”
“Okay,” Adrien agreed, finally letting his eyes slip closed. “Did I mention how much I love you?”
“You said something about that,” Luka chuckled. “I’d be glad to hear more about it in greater detail later, but, for now, I think you need to get some rest…. I love you too.”
With a smile, Adrien slowly drifted off to sleep.
The
End