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English
Series:
Part 12 of Extended Recess
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Published:
2011-10-20
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3,402
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1/1
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3
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Jin Discovers Bad Things Come in Threes

Summary:

It's a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day for Jin.

Work Text:

Jin didn't believe in fate.

He didn't believe in destiny, or the stars aligning or whatever the crap those TV psychics tried to make him believe at 2 AM when he was still watching infomercials- Jin made his own destiny, and aligned his own stars.

However, there were times when there were awfully strange coincidences that just happened to fall on the same day. And bad things seemed to happen in threes.

When he woke up on June 1st, he rolled over to smack his hand onto his alarm clock that was flashing 11:01 at him. Then he rolled again and stretched his arms out wide across the pillows, blinking up at the sunlight falling through the blinds of his window. He yawned, sat up, ran a hand through his tousled hair, and sighed deeply before he padded his way over to the bathroom.

He was standing in front of the toilet when the ceiling exploded with water.

--

"No, it was horrible," Jin moaned to Pi and Kame, neither of whom were really listening to his plight as the RV rumbled down the interstate towards their gig that night. "I was taking a piss, and suddenly everything was soaking wet."

"Your aim must be really, really bad," Pi commented. He didn't even look up from the magazine he was reading, which Jin was pretty sure was the latest issue of Seventeen.

Jin hoisted his feet up onto Pi's lap, making the other man yelp. "No, dipshit. The pipes exploded between my apartment and the old lady's above me. It's going to take days for that shit to get fixed."

Jin chewed on his thumbnail, watching trees go by outside the RV's rounded windows.

"I hope this doesn't come out of my deposit," he mused.

"Maintenance is fixing it, though, right?" Kame asked.

Well, at least someone cared about his terrible morning. He hadn't even been able to take a shower on account of his entire bathroom being turned into one.

"Yeah, but I'm going to have to keep the RV in the parking lot for the next few days to sleep in," Jin said. Then he sighed dramatically and dug his heels into Pi's thighs a bit, just to make sure the other man was paying proper attention.

"You can have it," Shirota said from the cab. "We don't have any gigs until next weekend."

"Are we playing the Rune again?" Pi asked, picking up one of Jin's sock-clad feeling and depositing it unceremoniously to the floor with a a disgusted expression. "I really hate that place. It's so trashy, and the waitresses have like, three teeth. Collectively."

Kame shrugged. "A gig's a gig. We still can't afford to be picky."

"Ugh, whatever," Jin said, and flopped over onto his stomach on the vinyl "couch" seats.

He laid there with his eyes closed for a few long minutes, and then opened them again. "I really want some Gushers."

"We're out," Kame informed him. He'd pulled out a map of Pennsylvania and was peering closely at it, apparently trying to find the RV's current position on the interstate. "You ate the last three packages last time we were in here."

"I did not!" Jin cried.

Pi dropped his other foot on the floor, and Jin nearly went tumbling off the seats entirely. "Yes, you did," he said, "and you mashed one whole package in your mouth and then made us all look when you opened it. And it was super gross and it looked like you'd eaten eyeballs or something."

It kind of rang a bell. Jin slumped back down on the seats.

"Today sucks," he announced, and proceeded to nap for the rest of the trip.

--

When they arrived at the Flying Saucer, the bar they were performing at that night, there was a large black limousine parked in at least four spaces near the front. Jin stared at it as Shirota drove by, trying to figure out if anybody famous was inside.

"What the hell?" he murmured to himself, which unfortunately was out loud, and meant his bandmates all heard him.

"Do you think it's a talent scout?" Pi asked.

Kame craned his head around as the RV turned the corner of the building. "The license plate says "MR. BIGGG"."

"Definitely an asshole," Jin said, even though he sort of wanted a vanity plate of his own that said something much cooler. The RV rumbled around the parking lot for awhile, and they filed out without saying much- which was weird, but Jin thought maybe all of them were a little put-off by the strangeness of the limo.

They never got big names coming to their shows; even Meisa rarely showed up.

Jin kept craning his head to see into the table-section of the venue as they carried in amps, instruments, and pieces to Shirota's drum set. It wasn't until they were on the last run and he was sort of sweaty and gross already that a man in a pressed suit approached them, looking vastly out of place in the bar that served Old Style on tap.

"I'd like to have a word, if I may," the man said.

"Well, alright," Jin said, and shrugged, trying to look non-chalant and failing miserably. "I can always take a moment to speak to those interested in my talents-"

"Not you," suit-guy cut him off, and it was only then that Jin realized the guy's line of sight hadn't been on him at all, but just over his shoulder. Suit-guy pointed. "Him."

Jin turned around to see Kame's eyebrows shoot all the way up to his hairline.

"Okay," Kame said, very slowly, drawing the words out. He walked past Jin and followed suit-guy towards a table in the back. Jin just sort of stayed where he was, hands balled into fists at his side. The guy was older, maybe in his thirties, with hair that looked like a character on the cover of a god-damn romance novel and a face that could easily sell any woman $150 of shit they didn't actually need.

He was still standing there staring when Pi tapped him on the shoulder, making him jump. "The hell is that guy?"

"I don't know," Jin ground out, "but I think it's MR. BIGGG."

"Well, what does he want with Kame?"

Jin's blood was boiling. "Why did Kame just go over there?! He could be an assassin! He could be a spy sent to destroy us! He could be some kind of deranged serial killer! Kame is too trusting, you can't just talk to random, well-dressed strangers like this!"

Pi didn't answer right away, and Jin was glad that the other man refrained from pointing out all the obviously stupid things Jin had just said (he was all too aware of them himself already).

"Whatever," Pi said, and shrugged. "I'm gonna help Shirota put the drum set together."

Jin stayed where he was. He watched as Kame kept nodding to whatever suit-guy was saying- which included some hand gestures, but nothing Jin could identify- and then tensed when suit-guy reached into his jacket pocket. All he withdrew was what appeared to be a small slip of paper, and Kame accepted it when it was offered to him. Then Kame stood up, and made his way back over towards Jin, and suit-guy stayed where he was at the table doing something on his Blackberry.

"The hell?" Jin asked, as soon as Kame was within hearing range. "Who WAS that? What did he want with you? Did he proposition you for something gross?"

"What?" Kame blinked. "No, he just said that he was a big fan, and thought I had a lot of talent. I guess he'd been following baseball back when I was pitching, and he got interested when he heard I'd joined a band."

He pulled out the paper that suit-guy had given him. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be a business card. All it said was "TAKUYA KIMURA" in large, silver letters embeveled into the paper, and then the digits of his phone number slightly smaller underneath. No company name, no logo, nothing- it was very suspicious.

"KAME," Jin said. "YOU CAN'T TALK TO THIS GUY."

"What on earth are you talking about?" Kame snipped. He snatched the card back and shoved it in his pocket.

Jin was having trouble articulating why Kimura, who was obviously the biggest douchenozzle on the face of the planet, sitting smug at the table drinking his stupid $8 glass of white wine, was making him so angry. Maybe it was the beautiful locks of hair. Or the sleazy way he'd been eying Kame when they'd been at the table together.

"Because he's obviously a creeper shark," Jin informed him.

Instead of agreeing with the obviousness and validity of the statement, Kame just huffed and shoved both hands in his jacket pockets. "You know what? You're an ass. You just can't handle it when the spotlight isn't totally on you, can you?"

"WHAT," Jin exclaimed.

Kame just stomped off in a strop and left Jin frothing. Jin gave one final glare at Kimura- who wasn't even looking in Jin's direction- and then marched over to start setting up the mic amps, tugging on all the cords harder than was necessary.

--

During the MC-break, Jin went up to the bar to order a round of shots for all of them with Pi's credit card because he was such a nice guy, only to have Kimura one-up him and step in with his stupid American Express Platinum.

"We don't need your charity," Jin snapped, after debating for a few seconds if he was really going to turn down free alcohol.

Kimura's eyebrows went up in an expression that looked oddly like one of Kame's. "So it seems. That's alright, I'll just get a drink for Kamenashi then, since I promised him one if he wow-ed me during the performance."

"Our show isn't even over yet!" Jin said. "Plenty of sucking still possible!"

Kimura laughed at him- actually laughed at him, sort of a low chuckle that started in his chest. He picked up the glass of wine he'd ordered for Kame, because the asshole of a bartender had served Kimura first.

"It appears that's true," the other man replied. Jin didn't like the look he was being given.

"You know, you really should support the whole band," Jin said.

Kimura flicked invisible dust off his pinstriped suit sleeve. "I rather thought I was just by being here. But I think Kamenashi has a rare sort of talent. This industry needs more of that type of talent."

He walked away holding the drinks and Jin just stared at his back.

"Okay, this is the last time I let you near my wallet," Pi griped, coming up behind Jin and setting his elbows down on the countertop. "Give me my god damn card back."

"HE IS TRYING TO STEAL KAME," Jin said.

Pi stared at him. "What are you going on about? And seriously, where is my card?"

Jin just sort of tossed the credit card at Pi's face, giving up on getting service at the bar ever in this lifetime or the next. "THIS IS HORRIBLE. I can't even look at you right now."

He spent the rest of the MC break making angry faces at Kimura's table as Kame sat and drank his stupidly expensive wine with Kimura's stupidly perfect hair, looking stupidly happy and laughing in his stupid, stupid way.

--

By the end of the show, Jin was just mad. He was mad that Kimura hadn't left yet, he was mad that Pi and Shirota didn't seem to care about what was happening, and he was mad that Kame was still not looking at him at all, even as they started to take apart the stage.

Jin was in the process of trying to carry the least amount of things possible out the back door of the bar when Pi stopped dead in front of him, and Jin ran into his back with the snare drum.

"DON'T STOP THERE," he cried, and nearly fell off the steps.

"Where is the RV?" Pi asked.

Jin craned his head over around Pi's shoulder, trying to see. "Didn't we park it right here?"

Pi dropped the pile of wires and cords he'd been carrying on the ground. "No, seriously, where is the RV? It was right here! It was right here."

Shirota ran into the back of Jin and dropped the armful of cymbals.

"What the hell are you morons doing?" he asked.

"THE RV IS GONE," Jin cried.

There was a lot of cursing, and then Shirota dashed out in front of both of them. He spun around once, looked back at the building as if checking they were in the wrong spot, and then spun again. "Oh my god," he said.

"What are we going to do?!" Pi moaned, slumping down to his knees. It had to hurt, because he hit the asphalt pretty hard, but Jin's panic level was rising so much he didn't spend too much time thinking about it.

Kame stumbled down the steps. "What in the world-"

"SOMEONE STOLE THE RV," Pi exclaimed.

"How do you know that someone stole it?" Jin asked. He was losing his breath. "Maybe it got towed again!"

Shirota snorted. "How the hell would it get towed in a bar parking lot? We were allowed to park here!"

"You let it get stolen?!" Kame shouted.

"You can't LET something get stolen!" Pi cried.

They were all missing the most important detail, and that was that without the RV, they had nowhere to put their things, and no way to get home. "Guys, SHUT UP," Jin roared, and not a single one listened to him at all. Shirota was yelling at Kame, who was shouting at Pi, who was sort of just screaming at the sky with his arms up.

Everyone just kept arguing with each other so much that Jin couldn't tell any of the words from the others, until there was a loud whoop and then bright lights shining directly at them. Jin made the mistake of looking over, and immediately went blind.

"This is the police," said a guy over a loudspeaker. "Put your hands on your heads."

"WHAT?!" Jin exclaimed. "You have got to be kidding me, we are trying to find our missing vehicle-"

"We've had reports of suspicious behavior in this area from four men who match your descriptions," the cop said. "Now, put your HANDS on your HEADS."

The other police officer got out of the car and swaggered over. "Have you gentlemen been drinking?"

"We're in a BAND," Pi said, looking at the officer like he was deeply, deeply stupid. "We had a GIG. Of course we've been drinking."

The officer gave Pi a long, measured look, and then shook his head. "Son, don't talk back to me when I ask you a question."

"He was just answering your question!" Jin cut in.

Quicker than Jin thought possible, the cop had whirled on him and grabbed his hands from where he had had them- which was on his head, as instructed. "That's it. You are resisting arrest and interfering with police business, and you're obviously drunk and disorderly. You're all going to have to come down to the station with me."

Jin's face suddenly became very good friends with the officer's car window. "Oh my god, you cannot be serious-"

--

The officer was very, very serious. Apparently, he'd had a horrible day, because Jin found himself stuffed into the backseat with the rest of his band mates, one of whom was still not talking to him, another who was complaining non-stop about how fucked they were, and the last of whom just kept kicking at Jin's shins and calling him an idiot.

--

"This is all your fault!" Kame raged, as soon as they were in the drunk tank reserved for homeless bums who puked all over park benches at 4 AM.

"My fault?!" Jin replied. "I didn't lose the damn RV, this is not my fucking fault!"

But Kame was still pissed off from earlier and smarting, hands balled into fists at his sides. "You just had to run your big mouth off and get us into trouble, didn't you? You just had to. You couldn't ever just let things go. No, everything had to be about you!"

"What- you-!" There was a guy in the corner who was too drunk to stand, eyeing them with confusion. "This is not about me! This is about the RV!"

"Oh, everything is about you!" Kame said. "Jin, Jin, Jin."

Jin remembered the ceiling exploding on him that morning. He should have taken it as a sign from whatever god there was that he should have gone straight back to bed. "You are so full of shit!" he replied, and stepped forward into Kame's personal space. "You are just pissed off because the RV is missing and you are taking it out on me!"

"You know, I think I go pretty easy on you most of the time," Kame told him.

"What the hell does THAT mean?!" Jin asked.

And Kame took a step closer to him. Jin was slightly worried that Kame was going to punch him or something, and Kame had some pretty good arm muscles. On the other side of the room, Pi was watching them with interest, and Shirota was just staring at the ceiling.

"Exactly what I said," Kame snapped. "You do stupid shit and you only think about yourself and I put up with it when I don't think I should have to. Maybe I should think about-"

He cut off abruptly, looking off to one side.

"Think about what?" Jin asked, when Kame didn't seem to be continuing. "Think about what, Kame?"

"Nothing," Kame huffed. His shoulders sort of slumped forward all of a sudden.

"Well, you can't just leave it there!" Jin said.

Kame ignored him and walked towards the door, towards the cops who were standing just outside the bars sipping on coffee like they were getting free entertainment for the night. "I'd like my phone call," he said.

"Meisa is in New York," Pi said, from the squeaky cot mattress. "You can't-"

"I'm not calling Meisa," Kame interrupted.

The cops unlocked the cell door, and Jin just stared at Kame's form.

"Oh my god," he said, for the upteenth time that day. "Don't you dare call him. Kame, don't you dare call him-!"

--

"This is officially the worst day ever," Jin muttered.

The stupid car even smelled like money on the inside, and Jin pressed his forehead against the window during the drive home, hoping it would leave marks that Kimura would have to clean up later- or at least have his butler clean or something. Jin glared at the back of Kimura's head, and the back of Kame's head, and decided that there was absolutely nothing redeemable about the day at all.

And the worst part was the awful, sinking feeling he got in the pit of his stomach when he thought about Kame's words from the cell, and what they might mean.

And how he might be completely powerless to stop it.

--

[Camera fades in to Jimmy Mackey sitting inside a darkened cab of a vehicle.]

Jimmy: [whispering] Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls- we bring you...

[Scene shakes wildly; there is loud cheering.]

Jimmy: THE EXTENDED RECESS RV!

Kusano: [off-screen] YEAH, BABY!

Jimmy: [laughing] Yes, that's right, we have hijacked this shit-hole that they consider a tour-bus and are driving it around downtown Pittsburgh! Kusano, how much gas have we used so far?

[Camera pans to Kusano, driving the RV.]

Kusano: Oh, quarter of a tank maybe. I haven't even gotten on the freeway yet!

[Scene goes back to close-up of Jimmy's face.]

Jimmy: Yes, that's right, this thing gets about 5 mpg, and we are going to cruise around town in it until we feel we've had enough slumming. Obviously, we are far superior to those idiots, since we don't drive something this ugly.

[Camera is spun; scene is focused out the windshield. The street is lit up by streetlights and neon signs.]

Kusano: [off-screen] You know, I'm feeling the need... for a Whopper.

Jimmy: [off-screen] 24-hour Burger King?

Kusano: [off-screen] Oh, you know what I like, baby!

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