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Gone

Summary:

On a planet in the Outer Rim, Depa Billaba and her husband and former Commander, Grey, make their life after Order 66. They raised Caleb, though he changed his name to Kanan for safety, and went off in search of adventure and helping the galaxy.

Then, something happened. Something Depa will never forget.

Notes:

I wrote this to make a friend sad. It was originally supposed to be 500 words... it kinda got out of control. Oops? It came from a discussion in a discord server that really spiraled.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Depa Billaba woke up with a bad feeling. The Force was trying to tell her something, this she knew, but what it was, she couldn't know. She sighed and sat up, resolving to meditate on it after her morning meal. Depa got up and stretched, yawning softly and covering her mouth with a hand, picking up her robe and heading off to the kitchen to make some tea to take back to Grey.

The clone had aged, despite only being in his thirties. His hair had greyed, and his face had more lines. The scar was a little more faded, but it still made Grey dashing in Depa's eyes.

Depa made some tea and padded back to bed with it, sipping as she read a holonovel and waited for Grey to wake up. It wouldn't take long and besides, she wanted to meditate on her bad feeling. Perhaps the Force would enlighten her.

There was a soft groan and Grey sat up with a yawn, smiling sleepily and kissing her cheek. "Morning, cyar'ika," he murmured, reaching for the cup of spiced tea.

"Good morning, dhoosar," Depa smiled, kissing his cheek in return, flipping the page in her holonovel. "Did you sleep well?"

"I always sleep well with you, De," Grey smiled, moving to stand and stretch before heading into the fresher.

"I've told you not to call me that," Depa chuckled, shaking her head.

"I know!" Grey called, starting up the shower.

Depa shook her head and finished her novel, going to get dressed and braid her hair. Then she headed to her meditation spot and assumed the lotus position to mediate.

The force held no help for her, no warning for her to heed, no glimpse of a future for her to prevent. But still, the bad feeling lingered. Depa frowned, meditation usually calmed her down but today that wasn't happening.

"De?" Grey called through from the kitchen.

"Depa, breakfast. We have to do the garden today for when Kanan and the kids come."

"On my way, dhoosar," Depa smiled, standing up and stretching hard with a quiet yawn. "Do you need to go pick up some plants?"

"Yes, but I should be back before lunch. I'll get something in for lunch too, in case the Ghost shows up," Grey smiled, serving her a cup of tea.

"Alright," Depa nodded, starting to eat and smiling. "You're getting better, mera pyaar," she praised.

"Thank you," Grey chuckled. They ate in silence, before Grey got up to go buy plants and food, just in case Kanan- Caleb -and the rest of his little family arrived.

The Ghost didn't arrive for a visit, which left Depa disappointed on top of her bad feeling. This bad feeling hadn't gone away no matter how much she had meditated on it. Grey had tried his best to distract her, Force bless him.

The two started dinner, and Depa was just bringing a plate of food to the table when she gasped and dropped the plate. It broke, but Depa didn't care, didn't notice, didn't do anything but stand there. She was too focused on the feeling in her gut.

Something was wrong with Caleb.

It's hot, far too hot. Something has exploded, that she knows, and the Force is holding it back. She can hear yelling, someone is calling Kanan's name. Hera's voice, but it's full of panic and worry. Sabine is yelling in mando'a, Zeb in Lasana.

Then her vision clears up, and suddenly she can see Hera, Zeb, Ezra. They're in a ship, trying to get Kanan to get on with them.

Suddenly, the ship is pushed far away and Kanan drops the force barrier. The heat is terrible, it hurts so very much. She can't stand it. She can feel him dying, feel his pain as her own.

"Depa?"

"Depa!"

"DEPA!"

Depa was shaken out of her vision.

"Caleb!" she said, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"What's wrong with Caleb'ika?" Grey asked, moving to help his wife to sit down. "Tell me, cyar'ika," he said gently, wiping her tears away.

"He's gone," Depa said, trying to control her feelings. "Our boy is gone."

"Gone? No, De'ika, he's just away. Helping the Rebellion," Grey said.

Depa shook her head. "N-no," she hiccuped. "I f-felt it. He's- he's d-dead!" Depa wailed the last word, collapsing into Grey's arms as she dissolved into tears.

Grey held his wife tightly, soothing her as he pushed his own pain down at losing the only son he would ever know. He'd push it down until Depa was asleep and then Grey would grieve for kyash ad.

Depa became distant over the next few months. She created a memorial in the garden for him, along with a small tombstone that had Caleb Dume and Kanan Jarrus inscribed on either side.

Grey remembered his son in the prayers he said for his brothers each evening.

Months after Kanan had passed, the Battle of Endor had been won, and the Empire had fallen, the Phantom II came to visit. It only held Hera Syndulla, who had some decidedly bittersweet news. She was pregnant, with Caleb's child.

Depa was overjoyed at the news. Some part of Caleb had survived and she had vowed that if the child showed a talent for the Force, Depa would train him for as long as she was able to.

But Jacen Syndulla, while talented in the Force, chose Ezra Bridger as his Master, once he had been found by Sabine Wren.

Depa wore black every day after Caleb passed and meditated regularly in the Force to try and contact him.

When Grey passed, Depa sank further into the Force just days afterwards.

"Master?" Kanan Jarrus asked, looking to Depa as she opened her eyes.

"Mom."

Depa smiled and greeted her son in Chalactan. "Mera beta."

Caleb Dume smiled up at his mother. "C'mon, Mom. Dad and Grandpa Mace are waiting for us."

Notes:

Translations:
Mando'a:
Cyar'ika: sweetheart, darling
'ika: affectionate nickname
Kyash ad: his son

Chalactan (Hindi)
Dhoosar: grey
Mera pyaar: my love
Mera beta: my son