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Yuu kinda expected Potions class to be something straight out of Harry Potter, but it's actually disappointingly high tech. Professor Crewel – Master Crewel? Are they actually supposed to call him Master? Nobody else seems to – is incredibly strict about proper lab attire and making sure everyone has their goggles on, even though he never says anything about long hair or trailing accessories. Lilia has bats hand him ingredients, that can't be sanitary. Yuu mostly keeps their mouth shut and their eyes on their own work, because the second they stop to gawk at Ace and Deuce throwing dried herbs at each other will be the second Grim falls into the cauldron, and then Professor Crewel will call them bad dogs and they'll have to start all over again.
People probably shouldn't be throwing dried herbs at each other in Potions class, come to think of it. Apparently Professor Crewel agrees, because he only pairs Ace and Deuce together when he looks tired and in need of something to laugh at. Yuu would feel bad for them, but it's not like they need to start food fights with the reagents. Also, Yuu's asked their idiot friends to knock it off, and it didn't work. They've done their bit. It's up to someone else now.
Mostly, that someone else is Azul, who serves as a T.A. in first year Potions for extra credit, because of course he does. He's flawless in Potions. He's flawless everywhere, except P.E., where he suddenly becomes terrified of heights and very determined to hug the ground. Everyone has to have a weak spot, Yuu supposes. At least this means he can be trusted to keep whichever of the idiot trio he's been handed today quiet and under control, thank god. The real problem comes from whoever isn't partnered with Azul.
Today, that person is Deuce.
Let's get one thing clear: Yuu likes Deuce. He's the only boy in this whole godforsaken school who was nice to them before they became a real student, and he's still nice to them now that he's seen them freak out about literally everything NRC has to offer. So what if he's a bit rough around the edges and has a history of making terrible life choices? He's still a good boy. That said, Yuu spends every Alchemy day praying that it's Deuce who gets taken firmly under Azul's wing. Ace might be a lazy asshole, but he does at least understand the basic tenets of lab safety. Deuce has a tendency to forget the instructions, get frustrated, and dump everything on his tray into the cauldron all at once. Most of the time, this means his potion explodes. They've had to evacuate the whole class more than once because Deuce accidentally turned a harmless potion that lets the drinker talk to animals into a vat of poisonous fumes.
If Yuu was teaching this class, they would've had Deuce removed from labs entirely, or at least permanently assigned to someone who knows what they're doing. Unfortunately, they are not teaching this class, and while Professor Crewel is usually a very professional educator – you know, when he's not calling his students puppies or threatening to whip them – he does draw an uncomfortable amount of amusement in watching his students suffer.
“Trappola, you'll be working with Ashengrotto today,” Professor Crewel orders, nodding to his assistant. “Try to keep his paws where they belong.”
Azul smiles, but makes no promises. Probably a good call.
“Spade. Go sit with Leech. If we're lucky, your work ethic and his understanding of what he's doing will balance out.”
“Oh no,” Yuu whispers. “Grim, we're picking a cauldron close to the door today.”
“Why?” Grim demands, puffing out his little chest. “I'm a genius! I need to be in the centre of the room so everyone can appreciate me!”
“Close to the door,” they repeat. “That's the only way we'll survive.”
So Deuce goes over to stand by Floyd, who's here for supplementary lessons – Yuu doesn't know exactly why, they've seen him churn out potions even more perfect than Azul's when the mood strikes him – Ace clomps over to Azul, and Yuu picks Grim up and drags him to the cauldron closest to the exit. Then they focus very hard on the assignment. It's a love potion of some kind, which sounds fun, no matter what Grim says about his genius being wasted. They'd probably be really excited about trying it if they weren't trying so hard not to imagine worst case scenarios.
There's no way Floyd will dump fireworks into the cauldron just to see what'll happen, right? Or get into a contest with Deuce to see who can blow it up first? Oh god, what if the contents get everywhere? What if Yuu gets splashed and falls in love with a wall or something? Can that happen?
They raise their hand in a fit of nerves. “Professor, how does this potion work, exactly?”
Professor Crewel stops pacing the room just long enough to narrow his eyes at them. The second he opens his mouth, something explodes. Yuu shrieks and dives for cover, taking Grim with them. Just in time—a shockwave rolls through the classroom. A chorus of yelps and curses rises as people are knocked off their feet. By the time it reaches Yuu, it's just a very strong wind that smells weirdly of those little cinnamon hearts schools give out in bags on Valentine's Day. They wait a couple seconds for the air to calm before they peek out.
At least the classroom is still recognizable. Mostly. Just about everyone fell over, except Lilia, who can fly, and also probably shouldn't be in this class? Isn't he a third year? Whatever. Professor Crewel is not only still on his feet, but totally unruffled. His eye has developed a twitch, however. Only one cauldron got knocked over, at least, though everyone's lost their reagents. That's pretty good for one of Deuce's explosions, Yuu thinks, and then makes the mistake of looking closer at the mess.
“Oh my god,” they breathe, “Deuce!”
Deuce groans and levers himself up on his elbows. He was blown back several metres and kinda looks like he got stepped on by an elephant. “Shit, that hurt...”
Ace abandons the remains of his workstation and runs over. For a second, Yuu thinks he's worried. Then they register the bright grin on his face and groan.
“Wow, way to screw up! I swear you had wings for a second there. Hey, think the prof's gonna whip you for flying indoors?”
Deuce stares up at him blearily. “Th' fuck?”
Ace waves his hand back and forth in front of Deuce's face, and when it gets swatted away, blows a gust of wind at him. A gentler one, thank goodness. Yuu only feels a breeze. “You hit your head? Or something?”
“...what?”
“Yeah, you totally brained yourself. Hey, Professor, I'm gonna take this dumbass to the infirmary, 'kay?”
“Remove yourself from my classroom at once,” Professor Crewel barks. It comes from further away than Yuu expected. They take their eyes off the way Ace levitates Deuce's struggling form out into the hall and focus on the actual site of the explosion.
The cauldron is scorched, but still in one piece. It's also rolling around on its side, or it would be, if it wasn't stuck on someone's legs. Deuce might've been sent flying, but Floyd is sitting pretty much exactly where he was standing earlier. He doesn't look like he's been hit by an explosion. His hair's a bit of a mess, but it's Floyd, his hair's always a bit of a mess. The only real tell is the blank, confused expression on his face and the brilliant pink liquid slowly dripping down his face. And chest. And hands.
“Oh dear,” Azul murmurs, approaching Floyd at the fastest walk Yuu's ever seen. “Floyd? Floyd, can you hear me?”
“Speak!” Professor Crewel orders. “I don't accept accidental deaths during class hours!”
That's vaguely concerning. More concerning is the way Floyd blinks slowly up at them, pink droplets caught in his lashes. He looks dazed, or concussed, or high. But then again, that might just be Floyd. It's really hard to tell. “Azul?”
Azul crosses the remaining distance in a flash and crouches down beside Floyd, careful to avoid the bubbling puddle. “Floyd, how many fingers am I holding up?”
Trick question, he's holding up his thumb. Floyd blinks again, slow and catlike, and opens his mouth just wide enough to show a flash of teeth. Professor Crewel's eyes narrow dangerously, but Azul is unmoved. Frankly, Yuu is impressed by them both. After the nightmare that was trying to break into the museum, Yuu gets flashbacks every time the Leech twins smile.
“Azul?” Floyd repeats slowly, stretching the word almost beyond recognition. “Azul, my potion blew up.”
“I know,” Azul says.
“I still have legs, though.” A mournful sigh.
“Well, you can't expect even a correctly brewed potion to trigger a water-based effect.” Azul fixes his glasses with one hand and puts the other closer to Floyd's face. Mistake. “Now please focus, how many–”
Several things happen at once. First, Professor Crewel rolls his eyes and takes a pointed step back. Second, Azul visibly realizes that he's screwed up. Third, Floyd lashes out, quick as a flash, and pulls Azul in by the back of his neck. Fourth, Yuu claps their hand over Grim's eyes and stays exactly where they are. The result is that when Azul squeaks and tumbles against Floyd's damp chest, there is absolutely no one who can interfere. Or will interfere, in the case of the teacher. Way to supervise, Professor Crewel.
Professor Crewel's gaze snaps toward Yuu's hiding place. They let out an embarrassingly high-pitched eep and crouch lower behind the cauldron. They're sorry! Please forgive them!
Everyone else in the classroom suddenly remembers something else they had to do and clears the hell out, except for Lilia, who has finished his potion and is now watching things play out like a soap opera. Lucky bastard.
“Azul,” Floyd purrs, his eyes for once utterly calm, “I love you.”
“Huh?” Azul says intelligently. Then he says nothing at all. Because Floyd is kissing him. Tenderly.
Huh, Yuu thinks, I didn't think Floyd could kiss without bringing teeth into it.
Don't ask them why they've spent time wondering how Floyd would kiss. It's not like he's the only person they've had fantasies about. When life gives you lemons, stare at the garden of flowers that surround the lemon tree, or something. Anyway, it's all kinda moot, because the person Floyd is kissing is about as responsive as a dead fish and has the bugged-out eyes to match.
Azul's lucky he's pretty. He actually kinda pulls off 'stupefied.' If Yuu tried it, they'd just look like they'd been slapped with a fish. They should really stop staring, but it's hard. Like trying to tear your eyes away from a slow-motion car crash.
Finally, Floyd pulls back, smiling gently. Azul stays right where he is. Probably processing. Or rather, failing to.
“Floyd, you–”
“Hm?” Floyd tilts his head, eyes glittering with an echo of his usual erratic amusement. Except there's no way it's that, because the usual Floyd doesn't kiss people, or even touch them, except to make threats or follow through on said threats. Yuu knows this because of reasons.
Don't ask. Please.
“–are covered in what was a perfectly good brew of Prince Charming,” Professor Crewel says in a scathing tone. “I trust you had good reason to empty an entire bottle of lemonade into it?”
Floyd does one more slow blink and then bursts into high-pitched laughter. His cackling is somewhere between joyous and unpleasant. That, at least, is familiar.
Meanwhile, Azul's eyes zero in on the pink residue. It's like a knot inside him has come untied. “I see.”
“Wait,” Yuu blurts out against their better judgement, “did Floyd get splashed with love potion? Is – is he in love with Azul now?”
All the remaining heads in the room turn toward them, which – eep. They shrink back and hold up Grim defensively.
“Put me down, servant!”
“Shut up and protect me,” they hiss. He kicks them in the shoulder.
Azul fixes his glasses and clears his throat, studiously avoiding Floyd's eyes. “I believe so.”
Professor Crewel's mouth twists, but before he can say a single syllable, the bell rings. “All right, class is over, everyone out. If you have questions come back during my office hours. Except you, Vanrouge! Stay!”
Lilia smiles widely. “Oh dear. What could I possibly assist you with, young man?”
Yuu has no idea what Professor Crewel's response to that is and they don't want to learn. They're too busy bustling themselves and Grim outside before the yelling starts. Azul clearly has the same idea, though Floyd is still a little boneless; Azul deals with this by scooping Floyd into his arms, bridal style, and running for the hall. Yuu just about gets bowled over and they were right by the exit this whole time. Merfolk are crazy strong and Yuu is jealous.
Not jealous enough to make a deal for better legs, but still.
“My hero!” Floyd coos. For a moment, he sounds completely normal, and Yuu is certain that the effect of that potion has already worn off. Then he reaches up and drags Azul's face down, and they're kissing again.
Azul makes a startled noise. Yuu makes some kind of unpleasant screech. Grim yells something about cannibalism. Something hits the inside wall of the classroom they just left really loud, so everyone has to drop what they're doing and run away before Professor Crewel comes out and murders them. A bad time is had all around.
“So Floyd's definitely still in love with you,” Yuu says once they've reached a safe hallway and pretty much collapsed. And explained what kissing is to Grim. He is unnecessarily horrified, but at least that means he's quiet.
“It would appear so.” Azul looks down at his lap, which is currently full of Floyd, and grimaces. “What on earth are you thinking?”
“Are you sure this is a potion?” Floyd says in a sing-song tone. “I don't feel any different.” Then he goes to kiss Azul again and immediately undermines his own credibility.
This time, Yuu has enough control over themself to cover Grim's eyes and turn to face the wall instead of gawking. “Somehow, I don't believe you.”
“I must concur,” Azul says grimly. “Don't worry, Floyd. I'm going to fix this.”
“We,” Yuu says, once again against their better judgement. “I'll help.”
Azul looks at them – really looks at them – for the first time since this whole mess began. Yuu's always surprised by how sharp his eyes are. Silver isn't a colour human eyes come in. It turns all his glances into sweet, sweet knives. “Are you sure? I certainly won't turn your assistance down, but...”
But he isn't sure how helpful Yuu will be in a situation that doesn't involve Overblotting or shouting orders at their classmates? Understandable. “I can run and fetch books, if nothing else.”
A graceful nod and a painfully sweet smile. “Then I would appreciate your help, Yuu – mph!”
Yuu hurriedly looks away again, cheeks burning. Grim says nothing and claps their hands over his eyes. “You, uh, might want to stand up. He'll have a harder time ambushing you that way.”
Azul mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like that's what you think, but it's too muffled to make out for sure. Floyd, however, is definitely giggling into Azul's mouth.
That can't be sanitary, Yuu thinks plaintively, and gets up. “Come on, you two. We need to find another classroom. Or a library. Or something.”
When Azul finally frees himself, he informs Yuu that he already has a cauldron they can use, so the four of them head to the library.
“Azul, pay attention to me,” Floyd whines from where he's draped over the back of Azul's chair like a large coat. If he weren't wearing an unmistakable pout, it would be a familiar sight. “I love you so much and you're ignoring me.”
“Being under the influence does not give you the right to make fun of me,” Azul retorts, his eyes fixed on the book in front of him. He reads a pace Yuu can only describe as superhuman, which is good, because there are a lot of books about love potions and most of them are totally irrelevant to their current situation. They sure are entertaining, though. Yuu's tucked away a few rejected titles for later perusing. 'The Horror of Love Potions: Why We Should All Give Up On Dating and Become Crazy Cat People' looks especially neat.
“I'm not making fun of you,” Floyd says in an incredibly unconvincing tone. “Azul, I wanna kiss you,” he continues in a significantly more reasonable tone.
“No, you don't.”
“I do!”
“You're not in your right mind, Floyd. You don't get to decide what you want right now.”
“Can you guys keep it down?” Yuu asks as they set the next stack of candidates on the table, right beside all the other stacks. “I'm on Azul's side, but you're both being a bit loud.”
“So?" Floyd asks disinterestedly.
“So, we're starting to draw attention.”
A pointed yawn. “Cool, cool. Hey, Azul, read that to me!”
“You're reading it over my shoulder as we speak.”
“But I wanna hear your voice, Azul! You know how much I love it, right?”
The weirdest thing about this is how normal Floyd looks. The daze that hung over him in the classroom is gone. His eyes are bright, his tone leaping erratically between manic cheer and theatrical despair. Even the way he artfully drapes himself over Azul and whines for attention isn't out of character. Yuu wouldn't even know anything was wrong if it weren't for the steady stream of compliments dripping from his tongue.
Yuu sighs. “You're going to be so upset when we find a way to fix you.”
“No, he won't,” Azul counters. “He's going to think it's hilarious.”
“Probably would,” Floyd admits. “You know, if there was something that needed fixing.”
“You're not in love with Azul, Floyd,” Yuu says.
“Eh? Shrimpy thinks they can tell me what to do? Azul, hang on for a minute. I'm gonna squeeze Shrimpy.”
Yuu decides that discretion is the better part of valour and retreats hastily into the stacks. Seconds later, they run into Deuce and Ace. Literally.
“Ow,” Ace whines from the floor, “watch where you're going, Prefect.”
Deuce stays upright, because despite looking like a delicate bookworm, he's actually solid muscle. Very worried solid muscle. “Yuu! Are you all right?”
“I'm fine,” Yuu says, rubbing their forehead. “It's Floyd who's in trouble.”
“Oh good,” Ace says.
“Oh no,” Deuce says at the same time. “He's pissed, isn't he? Is he gonna single me out for a fight? I can't fight right now, we're in the library! I can't afford to get any more property damage on my record!”
Yuu shushes him frantically. “It's okay! Floyd's kinda distracted right now. I guarantee he's forgotten you exist.”
Ace raises an eyebrow. “What? No way. Guys like that hold grudges, y'know.”
“Trust me,” Yuu says grimly, “a grudge is the last thing on Floyd's mind right now. You should help out if you want to keep it that way.”
They expected to have some trouble getting Ace and Deuce to believe the situation, but the two of them don't have any trouble wrapping their minds around the side effects of accidental love potion exposure. Probably because they grew up in a world where love potions are real. One day, these unexpected cultural differences will stop taking Yuu by surprise. Anyway, Ace and Deuce have no trouble believing that Floyd is under the influence. The issue, as usual, is that Ace wants nothing to do with this.
“Not my business, not my problem. 'sides, that bastard's got it in hand, right?” He jerks his thumb toward Azul's white hair, which is just barely visible from here. “I say we go back to the dorms and relax.”
“We can't,” Deuce says grimly. “It's my fault he ended up like this. Helping him is my responsibility as a man.”
“Sucks to be you, then.”
“Ace,” Yuu says, “we're helping him.”
“Why?”
“Because Deuce is our friend, and I really, really don't want to see what happens when a love-drunk Floyd Leech starts mood-swinging.”
Ace stares at them for a second, then nods. “All right, where do we start?”
Great question. Unfortunately, Yuu has no idea. So the idiot duo end up awkwardly joining Yuu and Grim in going through the shelves, gathering up everything that looks relevant and trying not to get distracted while Azul scans through their findings with a speed that makes everyone seethe with jealousy. Despite a few close calls, Floyd stays where he is, content to cuddle with Azul and coo about how pretty he is, how smart, how nice his voice is. Azul is doing okay for now, but Yuu can see the way he almost-flinches at every too-kind word.
It's going to be painful for Azul when Floyd stops saying these things. But they can't just leave him like this.
No, really, they can't. Floyd is dangerous enough without being high on magic-induced affection. Yuu really, really doesn't want to see what he looks like on a jealous rampage.
People file in and out of the library, most of them taking a moment to watch the circus because they are assholes. Including Lilia again. Doesn't he have anything better to do? When Yuu asks, the answer is a sunny, “Not at all, youngster!” so that answers that, they guess.
“What the hell,” Ace pants about two hours after joining the search, “how can there be so many books on love potions?”
“I need to be more vigilant around drinking fountains,” Deuce murmurs.
Ace snorts. “Pfft. Who'd dose your drink?”
“Plenty of people!”
“Oh yeah? Name them.”
Deuce shuts his mouth and glares. Ace smirks. Yuu wants off this ride. They're so, so grateful that Grim is hiding under the table and napping, because the last thing they want to do is explain the one-upsmanship of teenage boys to a cat that thinks kissing is horrifying.
“Quiet,” Azul orders, his nose glued to his latest choice. He's flipping through the pages almost too fast for Yuu to see. No wonder his grades are so high.
“I can shut 'em up for you!” Floyd chirps.
“No.”
“You're snippy when you're sad. But I love that too, y'know?” A high-pitched but sadistic giggle. “You're so squishy, but you hate being vulnerable. That's why you like us so much, right?” Floyd dips his head and purrs directly into Azul's ear, making no attempt to lower his voice. “'cause we've never heard even of the stuff you're so afraid of.”
The book in Azul's hand's trembles. “Shut up, Floyd. Don't say things you'll regret.”
“I won't regret it!” Floyd sings. “I'm gonna tell you everything I love about you all day. Been meaning to bring this stuff up for a while, you're just slippery. It's 'cause you hate feelings. Right, Shrimpy?”
Yuu coughs and tries to look busy. “I, uh, I wouldn't know.”
“Lies!”
“No, really,” they say, like a liar. “I've only been here like a month. You know Azul way better than me.”
Mismatched eyes narrow. “You're so boring, Shrimpy.”
Uh oh. That doesn't sound good. Yuu's casting their thoughts around desperately, trying to find a safe way to change the subject before Floyd erupts in a fit of temper, when a familiar voice clears his throat nearby.
“I was informed that there was an accident in Potions,” Jade says, a placid smile on his lips. “I do hope I'm not interrupting anything.”
Yuu opens their mouth to say something stupid like no, thank god you're here, please save me. They never get the chance. Floyd lets go of Azul and skips forward, arms outstretched.
“Jade! I love you!”
They catch a glimpse of fever-bright eyes, laughing mouth, and long, curved teeth. And then –
And then Yuu is reeling backward, trying to remember how to breathe, because Floyd is –
Floyd and Jade are –
Yuu's faintly aware that someone is screaming, but that seems very distant and unimportant right now. Floyd's condition is so much worse than they thought. What kind of love potion makes you french kiss your own brother?
“No yelling in the library!”
The screaming stops. Yuu's jaw snaps shut. It takes them a second to realize these facts are connected. When they look up, Professor Crewel is marching toward them, cigarette holder in hand, lips pressed firmly together.
“Whoa,” chorus the idiot duo, who look much too calm for this. Didn't they see? Don't they understand how wrong this is? “Jade, you got Professor Crewel's attention outside of office hours?”
“I'm not paid enough to deal with this nonsense out of class.” Professor Crewel gives them all a scathing look before turning back to the twins. “Are you two quite done?”
Jade gently tugs Floyd's hair until they're separated enough to talk. He also looks entirely too calm and collected. Barely even ruffled. His lips are bleeding a little, though. “Master Crewel, would you kindly explain things to them?” His eyes linger on Azul, whose face has basically shut down. Finally, someone who's reacting properly. “I believe there's been some confusion.”
Professor Crewel's smile is every bit as predatory as Floyd's. They look like they're sizing each other up. Yuu pre-emptively puts their hands in front of their face in case of another kissing spree. As it turns out, they needn't have worried. “Confusion, indeed. Apparently, none of you figured out that Prince Charming, one of the safest and most tamper-proof love potions in existence, is designed to stop working if something outside the recipe is added, despite the fact that it was clearly stated on the assignment.” He stares hard at Azul. “I expect this from the rest of these dumb puppies, but I'm especially disappointed in you, Ashengrotto.”
“Hey,” Ace says. Deuce elbows him in the ribs and he shuts up.
Azul adjusts his glasses, smiling blandly. “My apologies. I appear to have let my emotions get the better of me.”
“What – what does this mean?” Yuu asks, throat dry.
“It means that Floyd was under the influence for approximately four seconds,” Jade says cheerfully, giving his pouting twin a comforting pat on the shoulder. They're still uncomfortably close. Almost nose-to-nose. Yuu doesn't know how to feel about that. “Then Yuu and Azul jumped to conclusions and he decided it would be fun to play along.”
“What the hell?” Deuce asks, start to walk forward. Ace elbows him in the ribs, and then again, because Deuce is built sturdier than Ace is. They proceed to get distracted with their own little scuffle, which is good, because Floyd is definitely upset the joke is over.
“No fair,” he whines. “You spoiled my fun.”
“I know,” Jade soothes. “My apologies. But you were getting bored of the act, anyway.”
“I was,” Floyd admits without a trace of shame.
“I see,” Azul says, still wearing that empty smile. “Well, I'm glad everything's been cleared up. Yuu, my apologies, it appears I've wasted your time.”
“It's okay,” Yuu says numbly.
“Well then, please excuse me.” He stands up and makes to leave.
Floyd and Jade break apart from their huddle and move after him, perfectly synchronized.
“Just a moment, Azul,” Jade says pleasantly.
“Wait up!” Floyd calls. He's grinning again.
“Oh?” Azul asks, walking faster. “Was there something else you needed?”
Floyd catches up and slings his arm over Azul's shoulder, the unexpected weight forcing Azul to stumble toward him. “Day's not over!”
“Indeed,” Jade says a moment later, mirroring Floyd's movements so that Azul is trapped between them. His voice drops unexpectedly low. Almost... purring. “A promise is a promise, after all.”
“You–” Azul's back goes stiff. His voice shakes, just a little. “Exactly what are you implying?”
“Perhaps we should head back to the dorms,” Jade says, glancing back over Azul's shoulder. “I don't think you'll want an audience, will you, Azul?”
“Nope. But that might be fun, too...” Floyd considers it for a moment, whatever 'it' is, then shrugs. “Nah. Had enough of being stared at for today. Let's go.”
They leave the library together, the two of them frog-marching Azul to his doom. Or whatever else awaits. Yuu's brain isn't working correctly right now. They're still trying to process something else.
“Well, that's over. Read the assignment outline, puppies. It'll save you time and effort.” Professor Crewel turns on his heel and marches out after them.
“Man, what a waste of time,” Ace grumbles. Deuce nods beside him, arms crossed.
“Wait,” Yuu says suddenly, “if Floyd was never high on love potion, then he kissed Jade on purpose, didn't he?”
The pair look at them, then at each other. After a moment, Ace shrugs. “I guess?”
“That's – that's illegal, isn't it?”
Deuce frowns. “I don't think so?”
“Illegal where?” Ace asks.
“Illegal everywhere!” Yuu bursts out. “We need to – do something! People get arrested for that!” They think. Probably.
Ace and Deuce share another glance. This time, when Ace speaks, he does so in a soothing tone. “There, there, Prefect. I think maybe you're a bit stressed. It was just a kiss, you know.”
“They're brothers,” Yuu says helplessly. “They're twin brothers. They can't – they're not allowed to–”
Deuce's brows knot together. “Pretty sure they can. It's common in the Coral Sea, right? 'cause merfolk lay so many eggs and most of 'em get adopted by other families. They just make sure sibling couples adopt kids instead of having their own.”
Yuu opens their mouth, then closes it and buries their head in their hands instead. This whole day is a wash and life makes no sense.
Grim yawns and pops out from under the table. “What did I miss?”
“Yuu doesn't understand kissing,” Deuce says very seriously.
“What the hell?” Grim yells, the fire around his his ears flaring bright. “I knew I couldn't believe a word of that nonsense! Apologize, servant!”
Yuu just moans. “I want to go home.”