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The gentian flower shakes. There is no wind, no passing rain, but the gentian flower shakes.
It shakes in the hold of trembling hands, trying to deliver a message that hopefully will be comprehended.
Or else, Lan Wangji will not be able to survive this.
It is quite late into the night, the moon softly glimmering the roofs in the Cloud Recesses. Lan Wangji restlessly waits close to the entrance wall, looking up in the hopes of seeing a boy’s figure and a red ribbon breaking into the dark.
His heart it’s beating at a too rapid speed, his hands feel clammy and he believes he might pass out with the wave of emotions crashing over and over inside him.
He sighs, jaw clenched in an attempt to keep himself centered and calm. There’s a frown between his brow as he unconsciously kicks a pebble on the ground.
Then there’s a sound, a giggle and before Lan Wangji can make a move, Wei Wuxian is sitting on the roof— smiling down at him; leaving the moon to be envious.
“Lan Zhan, hello!”
Lan Wangji’s heart is about to burst, “Wei Ying,” he manages, voice breaking slightly.
This is caught by the boy in mention, who’s smile fades in a blur and worry begins to cross his features. In the next moment, he is standing next to Lan Wangji— Emperor’s Smile on his hand.
“Lan Zhan, you’re okay?”
No, I am about to die , “Mn. I am… alright.”
“You came here to punish me?” Wei Ying asks with an amused glint in his grey eyes. Lan Wangji pushes away every improper thought those words form in his, apparently, dirty mind. Ever since Wei Wuxian showed him that book, things have become… pretty distressing.
Nevertheless, the way Wei Wuxian takes a sip before smiling at him again makes Lan Wangji’s heart flutter inside his chest— he wants to hold his hand so badly it itches.
It hurts.
The gentian flower on his hand begins to turn heavy, “No, I came to tell you something.”
This makes Wei Ying brighten up with curiosity, “Oh, really? What is it?” he asks with his head tilted to the side.
Cute cute cute cute cute—
“You are very cute,” Lan Wangji uncharacteristically blurts out. His ears begin to burn.
Wei Ying stills, eyes blinking. Once. Twice. Thrice, “C-cute? W-who? M-me?”
Lan Wangji swallows, his entire body warm— is it normal to feel your heartbeats on your ears? “Mn. Wei Ying is cute. And smart, kind, brilliant and beautiful,” he is able to finish.
Wei Wuxian seems strangely doubtful, hopeful and wonderstruck, “Is this a dream?”
“It is not. I…” Lan Wangji steps closer, bringing the gentian flower into view. “There are not many flowers here, you deserve all of them however. Still, I hope with this gentian you… Will accept my feelings.”
No, he should not feel pressured to do anything. I only wanted him to know.
“I apologize. You do not have to say anything. I only wanted for you to know how you make me feel. And what Wei Ying makes me feel is… absolutely smitten. Warm. Happy.”
Wei Wuxian is still mouth agape, no words— for once— coming out.
It is something Lan Wangji saw coming. He is only grateful for Wei Wuxian’s kindness, for not being rejected so profusely and directly. Silence is something Lan Wangji can handle.
Thus, with a bow, he steps just a little closer to place the flower on Wei Wuxian’s hair. He looks at him for just a breath, “Pretty,” and bows once again to take leave.
But then.
“Wait, wait! Lan Zhan, where are you going? You can’t just—“ he breaks off, evidently nervous. There’s a bright red blush spreading on his lovely cheeks. Lan Wangji does not know what to make of it. “You can’t just leave like that, Lan Zhan. Not when… Aagh, fuck, my heart. Hold on, I need a minute.”
Lan Wangji panics, “Wei Ying, are you feeling well?”
Wei Wuxian shakes his hand in the air, dismissing Lan Wangji’s worries, “Y-yeah, well,” he swallows. “I’m just pretty overwhelmed that’s all and like, my heart is about to beat out of my chest, and you know, I’m flustered down to my toes. Lan Zhan, you should warn me before you say things like that my poor heart, oh my God.”
Lan Wangji thinks he must have misheard, “You… want for me to say things like that again?”
“Of course? But with a warning beforehand, please, I need to brace myself. You really will be the death of me, Lan er-gege. God, I need a drink, hahaha,” Wei Wuxian takes a long swing before looking over at Lan Wangji again— eyes wide and soft and shy and hopeful and so pretty Lan Wangji wants to sob, just a little.
“L-Lan Zhan you… meant all that?”
That he still is doubting it really makes Lan Wangji wonder if he did an awful job at confessing, “Yes. I meant every word. I like you, Wei Ying.”
A strange sound comes out of Wei Wuxian’s throat,— not surprising—something between a squeal and a whine. He pulls Lan Wangji into his space and hides his face on Lan Wangji’s chest. His arms encircle his front, embracing Lan Wangji into his warmth.
Alright, this is a very wonderful way to leave this world.
“I like you,” Wei Wuxian says— voice muffled against Lan Wangji’s robes. “I really like you, Lan Zhan. So much I thought I was gonna go insane just thinking that you hated me.”
There’s a slip of sadness in his voice and Lan Wangji wants to punish himself in front of the wall of rules for ever making Wei Wuxian think such a stupid thing, “I could never hate you.”
“Don’t I annoy you?”
“I enjoy your company,” Lan Wangji quickly responds.
“Don’t I make your ears fall off with my talking?”
Lan Wangji pulls him closer, hands brushing— finally — his hair, “I love to listen to you talk.”
“Won’t you kiss me?”
This makes Lan Wangji freeze. Kissing Wei Wuxian… there’s nothing in this world he wants more, besides seeing Wei Wuxian be happy.
He says as much. Wei Wuxian sobs, “Lan Zhan, I told you to warn me first!”
Lan Wangji pulls away from the embrace, stroking softly the lines of Wei Wuxian’s face, “... Warning.”
Wei Wuxian laughs, prettier than any note Lan Wangji has played with his guqin. He thinks he wants to make Wei Wuxian laugh for the rest of his life, “Okay. I’m ready Lan Zhan, do your best.”
And with such an irresistible permission, Lan Wangji takes Wei Wuxian’s hands in his and kisses him— softly, slowly, just as he has always wanted to do it. Wei Wuxian sighs, lips tasting like alcohol and Wei Ying, and Lan Wangji can’t help his feral instinct from taking over— deepening the kiss and losing himself in the sensation of Wei Wuxian’s tongue against his, hands exploring everywhere they can reach.
After a moment, Wei Wuxian parts away to laugh, “I think we’re breaking half of the rules on the wall, Lan Zhan.”
Lan Wangji presses a peck to his hand, “Wei Ying is worth it.”
The next day, neither of them did their respective responsibilities in the Library Pavilion. They only studied their mingled breaths, read their expressions as they kissed and learned about each other in the most intimate of ways.
Between laughter, and kisses, and Lan Wangji never let go of Wei Wuxian’s hand.