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"You once said that we would watch every sunrise and sunset together..." Lan XiChen mutters softly to himself under his breath as he lifts some rubble and sets it aside in a pile.
He wanders back to his little worksite, almost zombie-like and repeats the same motion again.
"You also said," he grunts trying to lift another huge piece of rubble on his own, "that we would walk in spring showers together. But look...look at what happened!" he hisses as he stumbles backwards, unable to lift the shattered piece of one of the huge columns from the once glorious Guanyin Temple.
"You left me..." Lan XiChen whispers as he lets out a shaky laugh, "You lied to me and you left me."
It should have been that the both of them were buried together in this endless heap of rubble. But Meng Yao had pushed him away. It should have been that the both of them were together again in the afterlife, yet Lan XiChen is here, left to suffer the pain of losing someone while Meng Yao is wherever it is that spirits go to when they leave their fleshy prison.
As soon as he felt his composure slipping, Lan XiChen cast his thoughts back to the old days. Back to when he and Meng Yao shared nightly visits, back to the time when Meng Yao had offered him shelter whilst he was on the run. The mere thought of A-Yao managed to soothe the anxious tremble in his hands and Lan XiChen exhales, focusing on the here and now. He gets back to work.
Since no one else from the Lan Clan apart from his brother would dare to defy Lan QiRen to help him, Lan XiChen had thrown in his lot with Nie HuaiSang. They had lost someone too, Nie MingJue. Now the Nie Clan soldiers searched tirelessly for the former Clan Leader alongside Lan XiChen, Lan WangJi and occasionally, Wei WuXian.
Perhaps, Lan XiChen thinks, he should have commanded the Lan Clan soldiers to follow him. He should not have given them a choice in the matter, after all, they should have been loyal to their Clan Leader, to him. Instead, his Uncle's imposing figure as Grandmaster and the oldest surviving Lan Clan member had forced Lan XiChen to look to other people for help.
It is nearly sundown of the second day of searching the ruins of the Guanyin Temple when there is a commotion from the team working on the right side of the ruins. Lan XiChen stops work immediately and hurries to where there were raised voices coming from a group of Nie Clan soldiers.
"What's going on here?" Lan XiChen demands watching the group startle at the sound of his voice.
"Zewu-Jun!"
"Sect Leader Lan!"
The small group of Nie Clan soldiers suddenly stood closer together, now allowing for a gap between them.
"W-we...we found a body..." one of the Nie Clan soldiers stammered and was immediately kicked in the shin by his fellow comrade who scowled at him.
"You probably do not want to see it Sect Leader Lan," the comrade said, "It seems there were monks in the premises. They were caught in the destruction of the temple."
Lan XiChen's eyes flicked over to the body that lay behind the wall of Nie Clan soldiers. He is convinced that he can see the soft folds of golden robes and ebony black hair.
"Step aside," Lan XiChen commands now. The Nie Clan soldiers do not move, save for the stammering soldier who seems to want to run away, "I ordered you to step aside. Are you going to defy me?" Lan XiChen asks his voice is dangerously soft and his eyes they possessed a dangerous, steel-like glare.
The Nie Clan soldiers sucked in a breath when they saw Zewu-Jun's hand fall to the hilt of his blade. They had no doubt heard of the tales of the Twin Jades of Lan and they no doubt knew about the prowess of the brothers. They were standing now before the Clan Leader and he looked none too pleased with being curbed from his investigation.
"Zewu-Jun, please be reasonable. We have orders from Sect Leader Nie to—"
Lan XiChen drew his blade.
The Nie Clan soldiers swiftly parted to reveal the serenely sleeping figure of Lan XiChen's beloved Meng Yao. Pale skin as white as snow. He looks pristine, as though time had simply stopped and Meng Yao had fallen into a deep slumber. Lan XiChen lowers himself to his knees, putting Shuoyue away he lets his hands cup those marble cold cheeks. A deep ache throbbed in his chest as his throat constricted painfully tight. Meng Yao's once pristine golden robes were stained a darkened crimson red. They were tattered and torn with two large slashes down the front, one of which, Lan XiChen is responsible for.
"Where..." Lan XiChen began and then started again after clearing his throat, "Where did you find him?"
"H-he...we found him w-with the f-f-former Sect Leader's corpse," the stuttering Nie Clan soldier spoke, "It seems that the Old Sect Leader Nie...p-protected him. He blocked the fall of a column with his body."
A sad glimmer of a smile graced Lan XiChen's features. To think that da-ge, Nie MingJue, even as a fierce corpse had, in the end despite everything protected Meng Yao. That should have been his duty, it should have been him that they found with Meng Yao.
"I will take him with me," Lan XiChen says softly as he cradles Meng Yao in his arms.
"But h—"
Lan XiChen turns slowly and fixes his eyes on the Nie Clan soldiers, "I will take him."
"Zewu-Jun you can't!" the soldiers protest as they try to run forward but it takes Lan XiChen a fraction of a second to deploy the Lan Clan protection talismans and an almost invisible wall springs up between them.
"XiChen-gege! Put him down this instance!"
On the other side of the barrier standing with his men is Nie HuaiSang, holding what looked to be a silver decorated fan.
"Put him down. That man is my brother's killer and I will have justice," Nie HuaiSang says simply as he places a hand upon the invisible wall watching it ripple. Then Lan XiChen watches as Nie HuaiSang shuts his fan in one smooth motion and hurls it right at the barrier. The fan, lodges itself into the invisible wall and slivers of cracks form in the barrier. With a flick of his hand, the silver fan splits open to reveal inscriptions on what looked to be the thinnest of metal sheets.
The barrier shatters and the paper talismans burn up into a crisp dispersing on the breeze as mere ash.
Nie HuaiSang makes a small movement with his hand and the silvery metallic fan closes back up again, floating in the air, waiting to be claimed by its master once again.
"XiChen-gege," Nie HuaiSang says as he reclaims his fan, tapping it against the palm of his hand, "thank you for letting me try out my new weapon. Now hand him over," he says jerking his chin in the direction of Meng Yao.
Lan XiChen's eyes narrow at Nie HuaiSang. He senses the shift in aura about him and realises that Nie HuaiSang is different now, no longer the scared little boy who pretended not to know anything. He puts himself between Meng Yao and Nie HuaiSang. "Never," Lan XiChen ground out, "I'm taking A-Yao with me."
"My brother's killer deserves to be punished," Nie HuaiSang replies, "Do not stop me XiChen-gege. I don't like having to resort to drastic measures. I tend to like keeping my hands clean."
Something about that line...reminds Lan XiChen of the final moments with Meng Yao in the Guanyin Temple. The way Meng Yao's eyes had looked at him so hurt and full of betrayal when Lan XiChen had plunged Shuoyue into his lover's chest.
'Er-ge...I would never have hurt you...did I move an inch? Did I?'
"You forced my hand," Lan XiChen whispers as he feels his blood run cold, "You made me think...that A-Yao...that he moved..."
Nie HuaiSang lets out a short bark of laughter, nodding his head solemnly, "I did. Yes. But put yourself in my shoes XiChen-gege. What will you do if someone hurt your brother?"
"I..." Lan Xichen begins slowly as he plans his escape in his mind, "I will...kill them!" he hisses as he signs the glyph of paralysis in the air. Upon the ground, a containment circle glows blue and Nie HuaiSang along with his soldiers are taken by surprise and paralysed in place. "Know this, I will kill anyone who touches the ones that I love. In light of what you made me do, I advise you to sleep with one eye open, HuaiSang, I will not forget what you have done."
Cradling Meng Yao's form in his arms, Lan XiChen leaps into the air and over the walls that encircled the ruins of the Guanyin Temple. He will take Meng Yao to someplace safe.
That night marks the beginning of the time where large blocks of ice go missing from the ice house in the Cloud Recesses.
Lan XiChen has holed himself up in the underground caves, placing a warding spell at the entrance that kept everyone that is not him out.
He spends the night cleaning Meng Yao's body and sewing up the two wounds in his lover's chest. One gash is bigger than the other, caused by Nie MingJue's blade Baxia no doubt. The other, a slighter gash that lay close to Meng Yao's heart was courtesy of Lan XiChen and Shuoyue. Lan XiChen gently runs his finger against the stitched up skin.
"Give me some time alright, A-Yao?" he whispers, "Give me some time and I'll find a solution to this problem."
It takes a week for anyone to notice the disappearance of the large ice blocks from the ice house. In that week, Lan QiRen notes that he had seen less and less of his nephew, the Clan Leader. It isn't that Lan XiChen is avoiding his duties but it almost seemed as though he was rushing through his lessons and then rushing off to the heavens only know where. On top of that, it is obvious that Lan XiChen had not been sleeping well too for there are large dark circles under his eyes and he always seemed to look tired.
For Lan XiChen it's a strict routine that he keeps now. After he is present for the morning lessons in the main classroom and after he has taught his own classes, he heads for the restricted books section in the library in the Cloud Recesses. There he will spirit away an armful of books to spend the rest of the day reading in the underground cave by the body of his lover. Every night he would cleanse Meng Yao's corpse and repack the ice about his body, adjusting the minor charms and spells that he had placed upon Meng Yao's corpse as well. They were temporary measures should anything untoward happen.
In that same time, Lan XiChen would also practice the hypnotic notes of a forbidden ritualistic song upon his flute.
"Tomorrow," he whispers against Meng Yao's cool lips that night before he leaves the underground cave, "Once the full moon rises tomorrow, we shall be together again."
As Clan Leader, Lan XiChen knows that what he is about to do will have an entire series of repercussions. He could lose his position as Clan Leader, not that he cared because Meng Yao is and always will be the most important person in his life. He had weighed the consequences over and over again in his mind each night. Without fail, each night he would come to the same conclusion — he can face whatever consequences that might come his way but he cannot live without Meng Yao.
So eager and happy is Lan XiChen at the very thought of being reunited with Meng Yao tomorrow that he doesn't notice his brother and Wei WuXian hidden in the bushes nearby. The watch the Clan Leader leaving with a smile upon his lips. A very rare occurrence these days. When Lan WangJi is sure that the coast is clear, he and Wei WuXian step out of hiding.
The first thing Lan WangJi notices are the warding spells that protect the entrance of the cave. They were specially tailored to permit Lan XiChen only. Ever since returning from the excavation site of the Guanyin Temple, Lan WangJi noticed that his brother had changed. Lan XiChen becomes much more reclusive than usual and with the blocks of ice going missing along with books from the restricted section in the library on reanimation and rebirth, Lan WangJi could guess at just what his brother is planning.
"Lan Zhan...are we really...going to stop him?" Wei WuXian asks.
"It would be the right thing to do."
Wei WuXian frowns, "Imagine losing someone twice, won't it hurt more for Zewu-Jun to lose the Chief Cultivator again?"
"Wei Ying what xiong-zhang wants to do is too much. If Uncle finds out," Lan WangJi shakes his head.
"We don't know for sure what he's going to do. We don't even know if there's really anything down there," Wei WuXian retorts as he runs a hand over the invisible barrier watching the entrance of the cave ripple. "Maybe...Zewu-Jun just found a new hobby or something?" Wei WuXian says trying to make like of the situation.
"Maybe..." Lan WangJi mutters but Wei WuXian doesn't know his brother like he does.
The field of red spider lilies is about an hour's journey away from the Cloud Recesses and under the cover of darkness, Lan XiChen dressed in dark robes, black as the night, puts his plan into action. He leaves the Cloud Recesses via carriage, something private and large enough to hide the supplies and Meng Yao from the prying eyes of the public.
High in the sky, the moon, large and round looks down upon them.
For some reason, Lan XiChen feels like he is being watched though he guesses that it's probably because he's feeling guilty about the ritual he would be performing tonight. Once all this is over...he plans to leave the Cloud Recesses with Meng Yao. He would abandon the claim to the title of Clan Leader and opt for a path of self-imposed exile. But he would be happy with Meng Yao at his side. They could return to their own little corner of the world, a small house in the middle of the forest that he and Meng Yao had used while he was on the run from the Wens.
As the fields of red spider lilies opened up before him, Lan XiChen feels a flicker of excitement ripple through his being.
Soon. Very soon they would be together again.
It is this very same excitement that spurs Lan XiChen on despite the weariness his body is feeling. He unloads the carriage and after clearing a space large enough amidst the red spider lilies, Lan XiChen slices his palm with Shuoyue, wincing as the cut starts to bleed. He takes as much blood as he needs before he wraps his hand up with a bandage.
Then the frantic panting of the ritual circle begins. Stroke after stroke, Lan XiChen paints furiously until the glyphs are all in place.
Going back to the carriage he cradles Meng Yao's body close to himself before laying him out upon the circle. Meng Yao is dressed in the pure white of the Gusu Lan robes. Very carefully Lan XiChen lays Meng Yao down upon the ritual circle. He removes the previous talismans and starts to create new ones painting them with his blood.
A strong wind has whipped up now and overhead the thunder rumbles, heavy with the disapproval of the heavens.
Still, Lan XiChen continues with his project, struggling to paint the remainder of the paper talismans as the wind picks up.
The candles start to flicker and on the wind, Lan XiChen swears now that he can hear whispers in the dark but a cursory look around the field of red spider lilies is enough to let the Clan Leader know that he is alone.
In the cover of the treeline, Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi are huddled together watching Lan XiChen prepare a ritual circle. To Wei WuXian it looks almost like the one that he had woken up to while in Mo XuanYu's body. That ritual circle had been in a run-down old shack. If given the choice, he would have picked waking up here, amidst the field of spider lilies as well.
"Lan Zhan," Wei WuXian whispers as he scoots over to Lan WangJi's side, "I'm jealous that the Chief Cultivator gets to wake up in a place such as this."
"Xiong-zhang probably wants to draw on the spiritual powers of the hell flowers."
"Hell flowers?" Wei WuXian asks.
"There are different names for the spider lily, the hell flower is one of them," Lan WangJi whispers back, "I would have expected you to know that," he continues, taking in Wei WuXian's profile cast half in the moonlight and the other half in darkness.
"I know the red spider lilies are symbols for final goodbyes at funerals," Wei WuXian quipped, "I also heard that they guide the dead through the cycle of rebirth. But I didn't think that Zewu-Jun would believe in such stories and legends."
"Mn, neither did I," Lan WangJi replies as he watches his brother continue his work despite the coming storm.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lan WangJi wishes that he had the courage to have done the same when he lost Wei WuXian. It would seem that Lan XiChen's dedication and devotion to Meng Yao is on an entirely different level altogether.
The stage is set. The blood from his veins stains the earth beneath Meng Yao and forms the ink of the talismans that surrounded the site. Meng Yao, pale as the moon, lies undisturbed in white robes at the centre of the ritual circle. Everything seemed to be in place and Lan XiChen settles down by Meng Yao's head. With a gentle caress to his lover's face, Lan XiChen takes up Liebing and puts it to his lips.
A gentle hypnotic tune winds its way into the night. Each note is a mellow plea as though begging the universe to return something precious which it had stolen.
At first, nothing seems to be happening.
Then out of the corner of his eyes, Lan XiChen watches as the ritual circle flickered crimson. it seemed to come alive as each of the blood glyphs glowed a haunting dark red. Lan XiChen's excitement bubbles inside him and he has to close his eyes to focus now, producing more of the hypnotically beautiful music.
A flicker of images run in quick succession behind closed eyelids and Meng Yao chases after them. All the while the sound of a hypnotic melody gets louder and louder. It's almost like it's calling to him and Meng Yao is drawn like a puppet on a string. The last thing he remembers is Nie MingJue plunging his sword into his chest and then as the temple comes crumbling down around them, Nie MingJue shields him with his body.
Meng Yao's eyes snap open.
Lan XiChen feels his heart leap in his chest the moment that happens. He hurriedly returns Liebing to his belt as he rushes towards Meng Yao.
"A-Yao? A-Yao it's me," Lan XiChen whispers as he helps Meng Yao to sit, "How are you feeling?"
Meng Yao's eyes turn to him. They aren't the beautiful deep brown that they used to be. Instead, they are large dark circles. Meng Yao's skin is fractured over with spidery black markings.
"A-Yao?"
Meng Yao cocks his head to the side, looking at him but not really seeing.
It isn't supposed to be like this. Meng Yao was supposed to wake up normally as himself. This is but a shadow of his Meng Yao. A stranger in the body of his beloved one..
"No...no no no," Lan XiChen mutters, "It shouldn't be like this. Lie down, A-Yao," he tells Meng Yao who obeys almost immediately.
In the books that he'd read there was a tune that might clam the fierce corpse's mind. Even though it didn't seem like Meng Yao was being violent, Lan XiChen plays the tune anyway.
This time the melody is soothing and light and as it cuts through the dark night.
Lan XiChen watches as the fractured markings began to recede leaving Meng Yao's neck a pale porcelain white. When he finishes the tune, Lan XiChen is almost afraid to approach Meng Yao.
When Meng Yao looks at him again, his eyes are their usual deep brown. But instead of recognition, there is only confusion.
Lan XiChen feels the whispers of fear in the back of his mind when Meng Yao shuffles back the more he advances. "A-Yao," he tries, "It's me. Do you know who I am?"
Meng Yao's brown eyes remain confused as he shakes his head dark ebony locks cascading over his shoulder.
Lan XiChen shakes his head, "I don't understand where I went wrong. I did everything right...I played every note correctly. I...wrote the talismans correctly. Why?" he chokes out, "Why won't you remember me!" he growls as he grabs Meng Yao by his slender little shoulders and shakes him, "Remember who I am! Please! A-Yao! Remember me!"
Meng Yao thrashes in his grip, kicking and swatting at him. Lan XiChen lets him go and he watches as Meng Yao scurries away from him, curling up at the edge of the field of red spider lilies.
He curls his fingers into tight fists and slams them against the ground.
Meng Yao flinches and his eyes glisten with tears in the firelight as he begins to sob.
Lan XiChen's heart twists in agony and it isn't long before he rushes to Meng Yao's side, "No no no please don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he whispers hurriedly, "I didn't mean to act that way. I didn't mean to hurt you."
Meng Yao simply shies away from his touch, curling in on himself as he whimpers softly.
Lan XiChen withdraws his hands, sitting back on his legs as he watches his lover driven into a corner by him. It hurts and everything that he's done in the past week, it seems like it was all for nothing. The sleepless nights. The sneaking around. The learning of the new song. He draws in a deep, shaky breath, "It's just...I've tried so hard, A-Yao," he confesses, "I've tried everything in the book. I've done everything in my power to bring you back. And...and I mean it works," he explains taking in Meng Yao's living, breathing form, "It worked but...y-you..." his throat tightens up at the very thought and the great Clan Leader breaks down into sobs.
"Why!" he howls into the night, like a tortured, pained wolf.
"Why...why...why!" he hisses gritting his teeth as he starts to hit himself.
"Stop..." rasped Meng Yao, his voice dry and crackly, "Stop!"
Lan XiChen feels marble cool hands covering his now and when he opens his eyes, Meng Yao sits before him. The latter's gentle doe-eyes softening replaced now by concern instead of fear.
"Don't...hurt...yourself..." Meng Yao whispers, lowering Lan XiChen's hands to his lap.
"You were mine A-Yao. Before all this, you were mine. Don't you remember?" Lan XiChen asks blinking back the tears that fell down his cheeks anyway.
Meng Yao shakes his head slowly and then looks ready to run.
Lan XiChen lets out a sharp bark of laughter, "How, do you not remember me?"
Meng Yao shrugs his shoulders daintily. He looks so helpless, so vulnerable and yet, he is the one lifting a hand, reaching out to wipe at Lan XiChen's falling tears.
"Don't cry," Meng Yao croaks, "My mother used to say that if you kept on crying you might flood the world...so don't cry."
Lan XiChen laughs, a painful sound, "Your mother?"
"Meng Shi."
So perhaps Meng Yao did remember some things.
"A-Yao, you once said that we would watch every sunrise and sunset together," Lan XiChen tells him, "You said that we would walk in the summer rain together under one umbrella. Don't you remember any of that?"
"No...I...I...don't..." Meng Yao pulls away from him retreating into himself, "I'm...sorry."
"Don't be..." Lan XiChen whispers as he draws Meng Yao into his arms feeling the latter tense up as he rests his head against Meng Yao's, "You don't have to be afraid of me. I promise you. I will never hurt you."
Lighting crackles across the sky followed in quick succession by the loud rumble of thunder overhead and Meng Yao burrows closer, hiding in Lan XiChen's arms. There is something familiar about him, his scent, the feel of his arms, his voice...
A flash of a faceless stranger plunging a sword into his chest causes Meng Yao to whimper softly, "Why would you bring me back?" he asks, "There are people who want to hurt me...people who want to kill me."
Lan XiChen pulls back now and he takes Meng Yao's trembling marble cold hands in his, pressing them to his lips, "I will protect you, A-Yao. I swear on my life that no harm shall come to you for as long as I am alive."
Meng Yao's eyes widen in shock and then he shyly pulls away, "Thank you...I promise to serve you well...master."
"No, A-Yao please don't call me that. You can call me Lan Huan."
"Lan Huan," Meng Yao repeats with a small smile.
"I am not your master."
Meng Yao's brown eyes turn to look at Lan XiChen curiously, "Then what are you."
"I would like to be your lover if you'll let me."