Work Text:
It was one of those rare, perfect days that Shikamaru almost never got to experience anymore.
He had the day off, so had stayed firmly in bed when the sun rose, intending to remain there all day. It was warm, and comfortable, and he didn’t even bother opening his eyes when Temari got up. He wasn’t sure how long she was away for – he had to get up once to go to the bathroom, but he only opened his eyes enough to not walk smack into the wall – and he had drifted back to sleep before being jerked into consciousness at her arrival back in their bedroom.
He heard her shower, and then - and this was part of what made the day so perfect - she got back into bed with him. That was rarer than anything else, because once Temari was up for the day, she was up, and never just lazed around with him.
In case she changed her mind, Shikamaru latched his arms around her the moment she lay down, pulling her close. She was wearing one of his shirts and, upon further brief inspection, not much else.
She snorted softly as he grabbed her, “You planning on getting up today?”
“No.”
“What about later?”
“What about later?”
“We’re meant to be going out.”
Well, that just sucked. Somewhere, vaguely, Shikamaru remembered Ino’s insistence that they all get together for . . . he wasn’t sure. Something.
“Dinner,” Temari provided, as Shikamaru’s train of thought fizzled out into nothing but the fact that Temari smelled like soap and that jasmine-y, lavender-y, something-he-didn’t-care-about shampoo she liked, and was in his arms.
“Can’t we cancel?”
“We’ve got some time to think about it,” Temari said. “You might feel like getting up later.”
No he wouldn’t. He might feel like getting up never. “No. I’m sleeping all day.”
“Only sleeping?” Temari asked, in an innocent tone of voice that prompted Shikamaru to open one eye and squint at her.
“. . . What else were you planning?”
“You might not have noticed – because you’re useless and lazy,” Temari shifted impossibly closer. “But Shikadai’s out with Inojin all day, so we have the house all to ourselves.”
He hummed. “Is that relevant to whatever you have planned?”
“Could be.” She threw a leg over his hip. “And I shaved my legs. Feel.”
He did. “Is that relevant to the plan as well?”
“No, that was just a coincidence.”
Her skin was impeccably smooth, and Shikamaru traced his fingers lazily up and down her calf. She was in a good mood, clearly, and the possibility of convincing her to waste the day away with him, snuggled under the covers and apparently getting more exercise than he had planned, was increasing.
“. . . Can I convince you to stay here with me until dinner?” he asked, nuzzling against her hair.
“That was the plan,” Temari said lightly.
“And sleep . . .?”
“You’re awake.”
“I’m not awake.” He let out a sigh.
Temari jerked her hips forwards. “Part of you is awake.”
“Hm,” he hummed. “Must be your fault.”
“I should hope so.” She tugged at the shirt he was wearing. “I let you sleep in; give me attention.”
“You’re always so demanding,” he remarked, but he let her manipulate him however she wanted. “Troublesome woman.”
“You like it,” she replied, and he couldn’t exactly refute her.
He brushed one hand over her hip. “You have the whole day off . . .?”
“Yeah,” she winked at him. “Wouldn’t want you to get bored alone in bed.”
Perfect, perfect day.
“You know we have to get up eventually, right?”
“You can’t make me,” he mumbled into her bare shoulder, adjusting the arm over her waist so she couldn’t pull out of his grasp.
“We’re going out tonight.”
“No, we aren’t.”
“Yes, we are.” Temari sounded amused, but Shikamaru wasn’t planning to open his eyes and look at her. “Dinner with Ino and an assortment of friends, remember?”
“We can cancel.” He pressed a kiss to her skin. “Make an excuse.”
“You’re going to need a believable excuse then.”
That made him open his eyes, and he looked at her in surprise. “Wait . . . you’re agreeing with me? We can really stay in bed?”
She shrugged casually. “I’m comfortable. We haven’t had a day to ourselves in a while. And we haven’t come up with a good excuse to cancel on plans with friends in ages.”
“Have I mentioned lately how much I love you?”
“It may have come up earlier but I wasn’t really listening.” She twisted around in his arms, “So, what’s the plan?”
“. . . I hadn’t thought of one.”
“All the time you spend thinking about how to get out things you don’t want to do, and you’ve never made a list of ‘get out of friends’ dinner parties’ excuses?”
“No,” he admitted. “You always make me go to them.”
They fell silent for a while, both thinking.
Temari broke the silence first. “What if we say something’s wrong with your stupid deer and we have to stay home and keep an eye on her?”
“She’s not stupid,” Shikamaru rolled his eyes. “She’s gorgeous, and perfect, and you’re not using her as an excuse. That’s tempting fate.”
“Fine,” Temari rolled onto her back. “Tell Ino we got stuck at work.”
“Naruto is going to be at dinner, so that won’t work.”
“Tell her we have a meeting with someone from Suna.”
“I hate meeting with people from Suna – she’ll never believe that. I’ll do whatever is needed to avoid meeting with anyone from Suna who I cannot legally call family.”
Temari cocked an eyebrow at him. “You’re such a dumbass.”
“Your village doesn’t like me.”
“The important people like you.”
“All four of you.”
“Baki likes you.”
“No, he doesn’t.”
Temari let out a long sigh, throwing a leg over Shikamaru, which he automatically caught with one hand, thumb tracing gentle circles into the skin of her thigh. “What if we said there was clan stuff to do? Your mom isn’t going, right? So Ino can’t confirm our story with her.”
“Why would that stop you from going?”
“Because I want to stay in bed.”
Shikamaru hummed. “It needs a bit more work than just ‘clan stuff’. What stuff? Ino is going to ask questions. She always does.”
“Well, gee, I’m sorry,” Temari slapped a hand across his ribs. “Why don’t you come up with an idea, and I’ll lie here and poke holes in all your stories?”
“Woman, don’t be so aggressive!”
“I am aggressive!”
Shikamaru caught her wrist and kept her from hitting him again. After a moment of musing, he tried, “Call Shikadai, maybe he’s got an idea. He’s good at coming up with excuses not to do things.”
“And he can help sell the idea to Ino, since he’ll be at the dinner with Inojin.” Temari nodded. “Smart.”
“I am smart.”
“You’re not.” She sat up, reaching over him for his phone, and then decided to just remain draped across his chest. Shikamaru traced a hand down her spine.
Temari waited patiently for Shikadai to pick up, brushing some hair behind her ear.
“What do you want?” Shikadai grumbled.
“Your attitude to be fixed, for starters,” Temari growled. “What kind of greeting is that?”
There was a pause, then Shikadai added on uncertainly, “Sorry, thought you were Dad.”
Temari rolled her eyes. “Never mind that. Are you alone?”
“I’m with Inojin in his room.”
“Good. If you were going to make up an excuse not to attend a dinner party, what would you say?”
“That I’ve already eaten,” Shikadai replied without missing a beat.
Temari glanced over her shoulder at Shikamaru.
“That’s actually pretty good,” he admitted. “Why didn’t we think of that?”
“Why?” Shikadai asked. “Is this for tonight?”
“We’re comfortable in bed and don’t want to leave,” Shikamaru said, tipping Temari’s head down so he was closer to the phone. “We’re happy with what we’re doing here.”
“What could you possibly be doing in bed in the middle of the afternoon?”
“We-“
“No, don’t answer that,” Shikadai interrupted. “It’s not worth the therapy bills. I’ll pretend you’ve both got food poisoning.”
“Whatever makes you happy, kid,” Temari said. “But we need to think of a plausible excuse that won’t make Ino mad.”
“She’ll be mad,” Shikadai replied airily. “You know that.”
“Just help,” Shikamaru said. “You’re the resident expert on making up excuses.”
“My go-to is my mother is insane and said no to whatever I asked,” Shikadai said dryly. “Try that.”
“You’re damn lucky I can’t reach you right now or I’ll slap that attitude out of you,” Temari growled.
“I know. I take calculated risks.” Shikadai sounded smug. “Why not just tell Ino you don’t feel like coming for dinner?”
“Because then she’ll bring it up for the next eight years, and we’ll never hear the end of it.” Shikamaru sighed. “She’s relentless.”
“Tell her that you’re busy.”
“That’s your best excuse?”
“I’m not telling you my best excuses,” Shikadai scoffed. “Might need to use them on you two.”
“Tell us a good one or I’ll wake you up every hour for the next three nights,” Temari threatened.
Shikadai heaved a dramatic, heavy sigh. “Okay, fine. Don’t show up, and tell Ino that Uncle Gaara called and you lost track of time talking.”
They exchanged glances. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. “Kid’s pretty smart. You do tend to talk for a long time with your brothers.”
“Except you know she’ll call us first and ask where we are,” Temari pointed out.
“God, she’s annoying,” Shikamaru muttered. “Next plan?”
“Security breach on the forest border that you had to go and check out.”
“Where do you come up with these ideas?” Temari enquired.
“Shh, don’t question him, that’s a good one,” Shikamaru said quickly. “Thanks, buddy. If Ino asks, we never had this conversation.”
“That’s how I deal with most conversations,” Shikadai replied. “Bye.”
Shikamaru settled on his back. “Told you Shikadai would have a plan.”
Temari ran a hand through her hair. “I’m a bit concerned about how often he’s lying to us, though.”
“He’s not doing anything wrong. Leave him to be a kid.” Shikamaru yawned. “So, any potential plot holes in the excuse?”
“Why are you going to sort out the problem, and not someone else?”
“’Cause I’m head of the clan and it’s my responsibility.”
“Why am I going with you?”
“Because you’re a badass and if there’s a threat, you’ll get it sorted out in no time.” He grinned at her.
“And we can’t come to dinner afterwards, because . . .?”
“Because the border’s damn far away and it’ll be too late by the time we get home.” He looked very satisfied. “Sound good?”
“Sounds bulletproof,” Temari agreed. “Perfect plan.”
“Okay, call Ino and tell her we’re not coming over because of a problem on the border.”
“You call,” Temari shoved the phone at him. “Why should I get yelled at?”
He grumbled under his breath, but took the offered phone anyway. He found Ino’s number quickly, and waited for her to answer.
“Hey,” Ino greeted them brightly. “What’s up?”
“Yeah, so, turns out we can’t make it this evening,” Shikamaru said, doing his best to sound apologetic.
“Why not?” There was a pout and a whine to Ino’s voice. “We’ve been planning this for weeks! It’s so hard to get everyone together at once! Pleeeease . . .”
“We would be there if we could,” Shikamaru said. “Sorry, but next time.”
“What’s your excuse this time?” The pout left and was replaced with Ino’s usual sharpness. “Don’t make up ‘clan business’ or your stupid deer being sick or some fictional meeting with someone from Suna.”
“We wouldn’t lie about things like that to you, Ino, honestly,” Shikamaru feigned hurt. “What do you take us for?”
“Filthy liars. Come to dinner!”
“We would love to,” Temari said, taking the phone from Shikamaru. “But something else came up.”
“What could be more important?” Ino demanded.
Temari and Shikamaru exchanged looks. He raised an eyebrow at her, and Temari grinned. “Yeah, Ino, we won’t be there because we’re staying in bed and having sex. Enjoy dinner. Say hi to everyone from us.”
Temari clicked the phone off, and flung it across the bed, to land expertly on the table beside them. They both ignored the ringing that followed mere seconds later.
“She’s going to be pissed,” Shikamaru observed, still running his hand gently up and down her back, nails catching lightly on her skin.
“Do I look like I care?”
He shrugged. “Nah.”
After the ringing continued for longer than Temari felt like dealing with, she grabbed the phone, switched it off completely and slammed it back down. Shikamaru flinched at the sound, hoping it wasn’t broken. There was silence through the room.
“Right, time for a nap then,” Shikamaru yawned, stretching leisurely.
“No,” Temari blew some hair out of her eyes. “I told Ino we were having sex. Don’t make me a liar.”
He eyed her. “Do I have to be awake?”
She grinned at him. “Nope. I’ll let you know how it was when you wake up.”
She patted his chest vaguely, “Although, you must have slept enough today?”
“You keep tiring me out.”
She leant her chin on his chest. “Because you have no stamina.”
He didn’t rise to the comment.
Temari drummed her fingers absently on his ribs, letting the silence settle over them once more. Shikamaru fell asleep as easily as ever, and after a while, Temari shifted around and fumbled for one of the books next to the bed, figuring if she had the evening off she might as well enjoy it.
Her phone beeped nearly an hour later, and she checked it idly, snickering at the message.
“What was that?” Shikamaru mumbled beside her.
“Shikadai.”
“Huh?”
Temari turned the phone to show Shikamaru the message. He blinked blearily at her, squinting to try to get the screen into focus. Ino is yelling downstairs. I think she’s mad at you. Also, I’m staying over with Inojin tonight. Please get the food poisoning out of your systems before I get home.
“I love our kid,” Shikamaru said. He flopped back into the pillows.
“He has his good points,” Temari conceded. She typed out a reply and put the phone aside.
Within minutes, it beeped again.
“What are you telling him?” Shikamaru asked.
“I told him food poisoning could last all weekend.”
Shikamaru snorted. “I see. And what did he say to that?”
She showed him the phone. Your excuses suck. I’ll be home on Monday.