Work Text:
The thing is… it’s easy to fall. Yuuri, in all his years as a skater, knew this better than anyone else. He knew how sudden, how unexpected a fall could be. Sometimes, they gave you little clues before it happened: you felt your feet stumble before the jump, your body leant to the side before landing or sometimes it was something more… spiritual, something inside your guts told you, you were about to fall, and all you could do was try to not break anything in the process.
Yuuri's fall was announced by a series of clues he didn't notice until it was too late. The first one started in a cold morning of October while Yuuri was sitting in a coffee shop. In retrospective, Yuuri should’ve known better. He should’ve felt the fall coming.
“Excuse me, is this seat taken?”
Yuuri looked up and had to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing.
“What- what is this?”
“This? Just a cappuccino. Would you like to try one?” the man asked, smiling at him. “So, is the seat taken?” he asked, once more.
“No, not at all”, he said, shaking his head and returning his attention back to his book. He gave the other man a quick glance. He was tall with dark hair and he was wearing sunglasses. His clothes were expensive looking, of course, but that wasn’t a surprise. He was wearing jeans, a grey shirt and a scarf. Subtle, Yuuri thought, almost smiling to himself as he reached for his cup of coffee.
“Oh. How come? Someone as handsome as you… I can’t believe you are single” the man said, and that made Yuuri look straight at him.
“I am not, actually. I have a husband” he said, raising up his hand to show his ring, just to make a point.
“Oh. I see… he’s a lucky man” he said.
“No, I am the lucky one,” Yuuri said, smiling fondly at his ring.
“Can I, at least, ask your name?”
“Yuuri.”
“Yuuri,” the man repeated, licking his lips. “You have a beautiful name. It sounds like a flower.”
“It means ‘lily’, actually. In Japanese, that’s it.”
“It suits you” the man said, offering him his hand. “I’m Dmitri.”
Yuuri stared at his hand but he decided to take it. It’d be rude not to, he told himself. And he didn’t want to make a scene.
“Well, Dmitri, it was a pleasure, but I should leave…” Yuuri said, standing up, but Dmitri’s hand quickly found his wrist.
“Please,” he said. “Don’t… don’t leave?”
“Should I remind you I am a married man? I’m flattered, but my husband is waiting for me.”
“So? That doesn’t mean you can’t make friends, right?”
“Friends” Yuuri repeated, raising up an eyebrow. “You want to be my friend.”
“If you allow me to.”
Yuuri sighed. He couldn’t say no to that, could he? Before he could even reply, the man pulled out his phone and Yuuri could only stare at it. It was a brand-new iPhone, black. He recognized it, because Viktor had the same model in rose-gold. Yuuri had to take a deep breath to keep himself from groaning.
“Here. We can exchange numbers. Friends text each other, right?”
Yuuri rolled his eyes.
“Just because you are handsome doesn’t mean people will do whatever you want all the time.”
“Oh, so you think I’m handsome?” Dmitri asked, and there was a playful smirk on his face.
“I think you are an idiot…” Yuuri almost laughed. “If I give you my number, you’ll leave me alone?” he asked.
“Cross my heart” Dmitri said, drawing an ex on his chest with his fingertip. He had delicate hands, Yuuri noted.
“…Fine. Just friends”, Yuuri reminded him.
“Of course! Just friends” Dmitri said with a smirk.
By the time Viktor came back home, Yuuri was making dinner.
“That smells nice” Viktor said, as he hugged him from behind. Yuuri leaned against him and looked back to press a light kiss against his cheek.
“Welcome home,” Yuuri said as he returned his attention back to cooking.
“Did you have a nice day?”
“Yeah, I went to a new coffee shop today. I didn’t stay for too long, though.”
“No? How come?” Viktor said as he moved to the fridge and took a bottle of water.
Yuuri opened his mouth, wondering if he should mention Dmitri.
“It was a little crowded”, he said instead as he turned off the stove. “Prepare the table, alright? Dinner is ready.”
“Is Yurio coming over?” Viktor asked as he pulled out the plates.
“No, I just asked him. He said he’d come tomorrow, instead.”
“You know, sometimes I don’t understand him… At first, I thought he admired me, and I know very well he respects you as a competitor, but he’s quite aggressive when it comes to his friendships, doesn’t he?”
“Except for Otabek” Yuuri said, amused. “Just let him be, it’s intimidating to deal with people older than you. After all, he’s still a kid.”
“I wasn’t like that as a kid, though…”
“Viktor, you were already an Olympic champion as a kid,” Yuuri chuckled, shaking his head as he served.
Ever since Yuuri came to Russia with Viktor, they had fallen into a routine: they would wake up early in the morning for training. On Yuuri’s free day, Viktor would work with Yakov. Those days, Yuuri oversaw dinner. It was nice. Domestic. But Viktor often worried it was a little too simple.
“I just don’t want you to get bored” Viktor had said one night, holding him close against his chest.
“Never,” Yuuri said, laughing softly as he turned around to kiss his lips. He loved nights like this in which they could speak in the middle of the dark. Somehow, it was easier for them to talk about their worries when the lights were off.
“When I’m with you, there’s not a single boring day in my life… Are you bored?” Yuuri asked, after a pause.
“No! No, of course not. But I can’t help to wonder…”
“What is it?”
“That maybe… you know. We could… spice things up a little”
That night, they both had laughed a lot. Between kisses and jokes, they had fallen asleep knowing they loved each other more than anything.
The next morning, they went to the rink together.
“Honestly, it’s getting old already” said Yuri as he leaned against the edge of the rink.
“What do you mean?” asked Mila as she stretched as well.
“Them, being all… gross all the time.”
“They are just being cute” she chuckled. Viktor was trying to lift Yuuri up. Most of the time, when you looked for them during practice, they were always looking at each other. It was disgusting.
“Still. They are like this in the apartment, when we go out for lunch, when they are competing… Don’t they get tired of being together all the time?”
“What do you mean? They love each other.”
“I mean… aren’t they worried it’ll burn down?”
“You mean… what if they love each other so much it gets old?”
“It’s not my problem, anyway” Yuri said, rolling his eyes.
“Aw, look at you! Being all worried for them!” she said, lifting him up in the air, laughing.
“Hey! Get off me, you witch!”
Things were not always perfect, thought. Perhaps that was what made things turn the way they did. Yuuri wasn’t sure how it all started. They had been together, talking about something and then… things went south.
They started to argue and, before he realized it, Yuuri was alone. Viktor had left, in the middle of the night, and Yuuri was left trembling in their apartment.
At first, he tried to call Viktor, of course he did, but his phone soon rang on the coffee table where he had left it. He needed to talk to someone, but it was too late to bother Phichit and this was not something he would like to talk about with Yurio. This wasn’t something he could talk about with a teenager. And then something occurred to him.
Yuuri had no idea why he was calling him. It was late at night and there was no way in hell he had his phone on him and yet, after a couple of seconds, he picked up.
“…Yuuri?”
“Dmitri,” Yuuri said with a relieved sigh. It was comforting to hear someone else’s voice, Yuuri thought as he hugged his legs. He had been sitting on the kitchen floor for a while, holding his phone, before he made up his mind. “I… sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking…”
“No, no! Don’t- don’t hang up” he said, quickly. “I… Are you alright?” he asked, softly.
“Viktor and I had a fight” Yuuri said, and almost chuckled as he said it. He was being ridiculous, really.
“And you want me to break his nose? Because I can do that.”
Yuuri chuckled at that, but it was a wet laughter.
“No… no, please don’t. I just… he left a while ago. I guess I’m just worried.”
“He’s being an idiot, I’m sure. He’s probably sitting down alone, in a park or something.”
“I hope not. It’s snowing outside and he didn’t have his coat on.”
“…You are too good for him, you know that? He was an asshole to you, and you are worried for him” Dmitri said, and he almost sounded guilty.
“I never said the fight was his fault, though” Yuuri said.
“You don’t need to. You are far too sweet… I’m sure he’s the one to blame.”
“He isn’t. It’s… it’s on both of us, I think. We… we are pretty stressed out and- it was over nothing, you know? We just… exploded over nothing. And now I don’t know how to ask him to come back home. I- I miss him…” Yuuri said, and this time, his voice broke a little.
“Oh, Yuuri… Are you crying? Please don’t cry. I- I’m sure he’s on his way back. So please don’t cry?”
“I just want to tell him I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to be so… awful.”
“You are not awful, Yuuri. Not even a little.”
“Yeah… well, say that to him. I-” Yuuri took a deep breath and looked up at the kitchen ceiling. “I’m scared that, one day… I’m scared he’ll realize I’m not as great as he thinks and just- leaves, forever” he confessed, closing his eyes.
“Impossible” Dmitri said right away, without hesitation. Looking back, maybe that was what sold Yuuri into this. “You are wonderful. You are sweet, smart… anyone would be lucky to have you”, he said, gently.
“You don’t even know me,” Yuuri said, but he was smiling.
“I know enough. You have one of those faces.”
“I do?”
“Of course. And I’m great at judging people’s characters.”
“Then you’d adore my husband. He’s the sweetest person in the world” Yuuri couldn’t help saying.
“If he was so sweet, he would be there, instead of running into the snow and making you cry” Dmitri said and, as Yuuri opened his mouth to reply, he heard the front door open.
“Viktor…” Yuuri said, leaving the phone on the floor, forgotten as he stood up and rushed to meet Viktor.
His eyes were red, Yuuri noted. His clothes were wet, too.
“Yuuri… I’m so sorry” he said, holding him tightly, and Yuuri felt himself breathe easier now.
“No- no, I’m the one who’s sorry… I was so worried.”
“It’s okay… I’m okay. Let’s- let’s just go to bed, aright?” he said, softly. His voice sounded rough.
“You are freezing. You need to take a warm bath, or you’ll get sick” Yuuri said, pulling away as he looked down at his clothes. His phone was left forgotten on the kitchen floor, but the call was over.
It wasn’t supposed to go like this. When Dmitri gave him his number, it was supposed to be… honestly, Yuuri wasn’t even sure. He knew what the game was about. He knew how seduction worked, he knew exchanging numbers with a stranger would lead to sleeping together, Yuuri wasn’t as naïve as people liked to think.
But now, he was standing in the middle of the rink, texting Dmitri a picture of something funny Phichit had sent him. He only meant to send him a nice picture, but the conversation started to flow. It was… it was easy to talk to him about nothing. When he texted Viktor, they inevitably ended up talking about their respective programs. So, this was nice, for a change.
Дмитрий:
I saw a new pastry shop on my way to work this morning. Would you like to come with me, some day?
Yuuri stared at the text for a moment and then looked up at Viktor, who was busy with his own phone and rolled his eyes.
Me:
Alright.
The first time Yuuri went out on a date, he wasn’t aware it was a date. It had been back in Japan, while he was still a high school student. One of his classmates had asked him if he’d like to go to a coffee shop with her. Yuuri wasn’t great at making friends, back then. It was hard to do so when he hardly had time to go out with others. He’d rather use his free time either skating or dancing.
He had drunk a cup of tea and ate a piece of cake and, by the end of the day, they both parted separate ways. Looking back, Yuuri had gone on several dates without realizing what they were. It was hard for him to notice people’s interest in him, especially when he didn’t consider himself particularly handsome. For years, Yuuri’s beauty standards were based on Viktor and Viktor alone.
Now, as he sat in the small pastry shop, Yuuri was aware what this looked like.
“I took the liberty to order for you. I thought you might enjoy the tea” Dmitri said with a smile and, against his better judgement, Yuuri smiled back at him before he sat down.
“I shouldn’t be here… it’s already bad enough I didn’t tell my husband who was I meeting” said Yuuri with a small smirk on his face. He had to admit it was quite… thrilling. He didn’t do this kind of thing, so being rebellious for once in his life filled him with the excitement only ice skating brought him but, unlike that, he wasn’t feeling anxious or scared. Instead, he felt confident, attractive, even. This was something he didn’t have with Viktor, he realized as he reached for his menu and looked at it: to go out on dates and relax around each other. Back when they meet each other, most of their interactions were work related. Sure, they went out to the beach now and then and they talked about each other’s lives but… it wasn’t like this. It wasn’t a date in a small pastry shop. It wasn’t a quiet talk about their day. Dmitri, apparently, had quite an interesting lifestyle.
“I am a secret agent,” he said, dead serious, when Yuuri asked what he did for a living. Yuuri couldn’t help to laugh out loud.
“You are going to need to find a better lie that that one, I’m afraid” Yuuri said, shaking his head.
“It’s not a lie! I am! I’m a secret agent sent to Russia to overthrow corrupted politicians, but the moment I saw you, I had to blow my cover just to speak to you,” Dmitri said, smiling. Yuuri laughed again.
“You have a beautiful laugh” Dmitri said, resting his cheek on his fist. Yuuri blushed.
“And you are a terrible liar,” Yuuri said, amused. Fond. “Your hands are way too delicate for someone with such a violent job description”, Yuuri said, reaching for Dmitri’s hand. His knuckles were soft, he noted as he brushed them with his thumb.
“That’s not fair” Dmitri said, and, when Yuuri looked up, he could see he was blushing faintly.
“What do you mean?”
“You, being all smooth and charming. I’m the one who’s supposed to seduce you, you know? Not the other way around,” he complained. Yuuri laughed once more.
“Then do a better job at it” Yuuri said and reached for the slice of cake he had ordered. “You know… Viktor would kill me if he saw me eating this in the middle of the season” he said, softly.
“Well, he’s not here right now, is he?” Dmitri asked, cutting a piece of his own desert. It was a honey cake. “Here, try this one.”
Yuuri opened his mouth and took the bite Dmitri was offering. It tasted nice.
“You know, I could get used to this,” Yuuri said, amused.
“You’ve worked really hard; you deserve a break.”
“You haven’t even asked what I do for a living.”
“Oh! You are right, what do you do for a living, besides being gorgeous?” Dmitri asked.
“I’m a professional ice skater” he said.
“Is that so? That sounds interesting! Maybe you could teach me, one day” he said. And, once more, Yuuri was laughing.
“You… want me to teach you how to ice skate?”
“Of course! Why not? I don’t know how to ice skate.”
“You are Russian.”
“So? That doesn’t mean we are all born with ice skates on our little feet, you know?”
Yuuri shook his head. He couldn’t remember last time he laughed this much in only one hour.
“Fine, this Sunday. We can meet on the lake; it should be frozen by now” Yuuri said. A small voice in the back of his head asked him what the hell was he doing.
Yuri wasn’t sure what, but he was sure something was going on. Since last week, Katsudon spent more time smiling at his phone. He was texting someone, obviously, but the question was who? His Thai friend was probably sleeping, considering the time difference and when he texted Yuuko to ask if it was her, she said no, so then: who was Katsudon texting?
It wasn’t like he cared, not really. It was just strange, and Yuri didn’t like not knowing things, especially if they could mess with Viktor’s head. He wanted to face him and beat him when the man was in his best conditions. Winning when Viktor was down because his stupid Katsudon was messing with his heart wouldn’t be satisfying at all.
Sure, Yuuri could be texting a friend but… you see, the way be chuckled to himself, the way he blushed or bit his lip, the way he moved after he pocketed his phone… it was different. And the only thing Yuri could think was that he was texting Viktor and being gross with him, but Viktor was standing right here! So, it couldn’t be him.
With that in mind, Yuri decided to figure out who was he texting.
It wasn’t hard to steal Katsudon’s phone. It didn’t even have a password. That made Yuri relax a little. No one in their right mind would leave their phone unblocked if they were having an affair. He was probably texting that ballet teacher… what was her name? Or maybe his loud older sister or perhaps Chulanont was awake, after all. Yuuri was a friendly person, he was probably chatting with a friend and his odd behavior was just him, being gross with Viktor, somehow.
But when he opened his messages, Yuri froze. There were… a lot. Hundreds of texts, really, but the contact name wasn’t anyone Yuri could recognize.
Who the hell was Dmitri? he thought, frowning. The texts were not… too incriminating. Not really. Not enough to prove something was going on. And yet, there was something almost flirtatious about them.
Дмитрий:
Good morning, beautiful.
Дмитрий:
I bought myself some ice skates, do you approve?
Дмитрий:
I bet my dog is more adorable than your dog.
Дмитрий:
I can’t stop thinking about your laugh. It’s not fair. I miss it already.
Дмитрий:
Fine, fine! I’m not a spy… I’m a vanished prince from a distant land.
Yuri frowned. He had no idea what was going on, but he was going to get to the bottom of this, he decided as he quickly returned the cellphone into Katsudon’s bag before he came back from the bathroom.
That Sunday, Dmitri was already waiting for him by the time Yuuri arrived at the lake.
“I- sorry, did I make you wait for too long?” Yuuri asked as he found him sitting on a bench right in front of the lake.
Sundays were usually their free days. Viktor left early in the morning for a run and Yuuri staid in resting and, once he woke up, he prepared that day’s meal. Today, Yuuri set up his alarm but, apparently, he had been a bit late.
“Not at all. I just sat down,” Dmitri said, smiling at him. Today he was wearing a brown coat and a grey scarf. Yuuri was wearing the blue coat Viktor got him back in Barcelona.
“You look beautiful, Yuuri” he said, and Yuuri could only smile and shake his head.
“You are a menace,” Yuuri said, sitting down next to him to put on his skates. “Where did you get those atrocities, by the way?” Yuuri asked, looking at the pair of skates Dmitri was holding: they were white with silver blades and Yuuri almost felt the need to roll his eyes.
“What? You don’t like them? I thought they were nice” Dmitri said as he tied his skates, which only surprised Yuuri even more.
“You are doing it wrong,” Yuuri said, amused. “Here, let me,” he said, reigned as Dmitri happily lifted his foot, resting it over Yuuri’s leg.
“Such a gentleman,” Dmitri said, chuckling. “Is it because I said I was a prince?”
“Now that would explain why you can’t tie your own skates, but no. I just don’t want you to get yourself hurt over something so silly.”
“Maybe I just like the sight of you, kneeling in front of me…”
“I’m not even kneeling,” Yuuri protested.
“I know! Which ruined my pickup line!”
“There’s too much snow to kneel down,” Yuuri said, chuckling. “So, bear with it.”
Even though he was tempted not to, Yuuri helped Dmitri walk and stand over the lake. No one had skated on it yet, so the ice was clear.
“I’ve never seen it like this,” Yuuri said, holding Dmitri’s hand as he guided him to the middle of the lake.
“I know. Isn’t it beautiful? I’m happy I could see this with you” Dmitri said, holding both of Yuuri’s hands as he took small steps, dragging his feet as if he was afraid to push himself forward. Yuuri rolled his eyes but he didn’t let him go.
“You know, when I first got here… I wasn’t expecting Russia to be this beautiful,” Yuuri confessed. “I- I was a bit scared, actually. That it would be too large, too amazing. But there’s something soothing about it. Even in such a big city, it feels warm.”
“It’s the middle of the winter,” Dmitri said, amused.
“I know,” Yuuri said and he looked up at his face. Dmitri had clear blue eyes and, with the morning sun reflecting on the snow, they looked even brighter.
“I must confess, my own city didn’t feel warm until I meet you” Dmitri said, and that caught his attention. “I was used to being alone. I have no siblings and my parents live in Moscow, but even when I visited them it felt… I don’t have a close relationship with them, you see. They don’t approve of what I do for a living” he explained. That was something Yuuri didn’t know. He couldn’t imagine that. Even with all his fears and defects, he could always count on his parent’s support. It sounded lonely, he thought, squeezing Dmitri’s hand.
“But ever since I meet you…” Dmitri said, “my whole world turned upside down. Like a sunrise. All I had to do was see your smile and suddenly everything made sense.”
Yuuri couldn’t keep his eyes away from him. His heart was beating faster inside his chest and there was a strange feeling growing in his stomach, like a mix of excitement and nervousness.
When he kissed Viktor for the first time, he didn’t even have time to think about it. He was just skating, rushing to meet him, and Viktor had thrown himself into his arms. By the time Yuuri realized they had kissed, they were already sitting on the kiss and cry. After that everything felt… natural. They kissed and hugged as if they had been doing it since they were born. Like two puzzle pieces fitting together.
Now, as Yuuri looked up at Dmitri’s lips, he realized this was something him and Viktor never had: the eagerness, the hesitation before a kiss. As he reached up to cup Dmitri’s cheek, Yuuri found himself amused that they were on the ice before he brought him down and pressed his lips against Dmitri’s. Soon, there were arms around his waist and Yuuri opened his mouth without hesitation, even though his hands were trembling against Dmitri’s cheek. He hadn’t felt like this… ever. When he first met Viktor, he had been nervous just to look at him. This was different. Here, him and Dmitri were both equals.
“Is it too soon for love confessions?” Dmitri asked as they parted away. His cheeks were lightly blushed and, just by looking at him, Yuuri knew he had been thinking the same as him.
“Yes, a little bit” Yuuri said, chuckling as they pressed their foreheads together.
“Then I won’t say a word” Dmitri said, but there was no need to. They both knew.
“Oi, don’t you think Katsudon is acting a bit… weird, lately?”
Viktor looked up at him, blinking.
“What do you mean weird?” he asked.
“I don’t know, just… different” Yuri said, scratching the back of his head. Damn it, this was harder than he had expected.
“He’s been more relaxed, I think. In a good mood” Viktor said with a smile on his face as he finished undoing his skates.
“That’s the thing, though! Is- is everything okay? Between you two?”
“Of course, it is,” Viktor said, frowning. “Why? Did he say something?”
“No, no, it’s just… I was just wondering” he said. “Whatever just… pay attention to him or something” Yuri said before skating away.
Damn it he didn’t know how to say this kind of thing. He knew something was going on, but it was hard to accuse Katsudon without any solid prove. Besides… they were just as gross as always. It wasn’t like they were distant with each other, right? If anything, they seemed closer than before, if that was even possible.
Maybe he should ask Mila. She had been cheated on once, right? Maybe she knew how to deal with that sort of thing. Or make sure it was even happening. Whenever he saw Katsudon with Viktor… it was hard to think he could even look at someone else. But, then again, maybe they didn’t get along at home and this was nothing but a cover. Maybe Viktor was an asshole to him in secret; it was the only explanation he could find. Otherwise, it’d mean Katsudon was an asshole and he couldn’t just accept that.
“Do you ever feel like there are things you can’t tell me?” Viktor asked one night, a couple of months ago, as they were sitting on the couch. “For example, when I arrived to Hasetsu, you evaded every question I made you. Was it because you can’t trust me?”
“Don’t be silly, of course I trust you. But, back then… I just had no idea how I should speak to you; you know?” Yuuri said as he leaned down on Viktor’s lap and patted his chest, inviting Makkachin to lay with them. “I spent most of my life looking up to you and suddenly, there you were, asking me about my love life. I was just too embarrassed” he explained, shaking his head. Viktor’s hand found its way into his hair and started caressing it.
“Is that so? I bet you were a heart breaker. I can’t imagine anyone looking at you once and not falling on their knees.”
“It wasn’t anything like that,” Yuuri said, amused. “I was never popular at anything.”
“Or, perhaps, you are just oblivious to the effect you had on others,” Viktor said. “When I saw you dancing… I know you were drunk, but you were having so much fun. The first time I lost a competition, I had a huge breakdown and yet, there you were, laughing and dancing with everyone as if nothing else mattered. I couldn’t take my eyes off you for a minute. I wanted to be a part of that, you know? But I didn’t know how to approach you. And then, there you were, holding onto me and inviting me… you took my breath away.”
“God, don’t remind me of that…”
“But what I mean is… would you be more open if I was someone else? For example, if I was a regular guy you meet at a coffee shop or a fellow competitor, like Phichit.”
“I… don’t know. I do feel there are things about me I want to hide. Not because I don’t trust you, but because I don’t want you, from all people, to see the ugly in me.”
“I’ve seen the ugly in you, though”, Viktor said, reaching for his hand and kissing it. “I’ve seen your panic, your anger, your fears… what else do you need to hide?” he said. “You’ve seen the ugly in me, as well. You’ve seen how selfish, how cruel I can be, even when I don’t mean to.”
“It’s still hard to put it into words, isn’t it?” Yuuri said- “To name something… it makes it more real. What you see can have different interpretations. An image can mean many things. But once you’ve put it into words, it can’t change; it freezes.”
Yuuri still wasn’t sure how had Dmitri become such a constant part of his life. It felt easier to text him now and, ever since the kiss, his stomach flipped upside down each time he read his name on his phone. It was stupid, really, but his texts always cheered him up. Whenever he was having a bad day, a text from his number would pop up and make him smile, especially when Viktor was busy working with Yakov.
It wasn’t like he didn’t like Viktor anymore or that he loved him any less. It was just… new. Everything about Dmitri was new and charming and carefree and, whenever they spent time together, they both could only be… regular people without a schedule, just enjoying their time together as if it could be the last. It was thrilling and romantic in ways he couldn’t describe. It was silly, but he came to love their encounters as much as he loved ice skating with Viktor and be held by him as they danced together.
The thing about love is that it isn’t disgusting. It sounded strange, when Yuuri put it that way, but it was true. Once he saw a skater blew his nose before a competition. He blew so hard all his snot came out of the tissue and he had to hold it on his hand before cleaning it. Yuuri had felt like he was about to throw up for the rest of the day and avoided the guy just to keep him from shaking his hand after the competition.
One time, when Viktor got a cold, his fever was so bad he couldn’t even clean his own nose without missing it. That night, Yuuri had helped him blow his nose, he had fed him and cleaned the food that escaped his mouth, he had brushed the drool from his chin with his bare thumb, as well. Of course, he had washed his hands after that, he didn’t want to risk getting sick himself and being unable to care for him, but that day Yuuri realized that there was nothing Viktor could do that would disgust him. Small things that he’d hate in other people, he didn’t mind on Viktor at all. That was how Yuuri realized what love really was. It wasn’t the most romantic way to put it, but it was the only way he could explain it. Kissing Viktor’s lips covered in sweat, being touched when his hands were sticky, putting on his dirty shirt… he didn’t mind any of those things.
Today, as Dmitri laughed so hard that the milkshake he had been drinking came out of his nose, Yuuri reached over to tap a handkerchief over his face, helping him clean himself.
“You are hopeless,” Yuuri said, amused.
“Don’t do that, it’s nasty” Dmitri said, reaching for a handkerchief himself to clean his chin and shirt.
“It really is. I should be so repulsed,” Yuuri said, but he didn’t stop.
The thing about having an adventure was that they were supposed to be physical and nothing else. They were impulsive and reckless, and they always ended with sentences like ‘I don’t know what I was doing’ or ‘I got caught up in the moment, it was a mistake’. Right now, Yuuri was way beyond that point.
“I think I know what I do for a living, now,” Dmitri said as he blew his nose and reached for his hand sanitizer, making sure he was clean. Yuuri couldn’t care less.
“Do you, now?” he asked, chuckling as he threw the papers to a close bin and reached for his own frappe.
“A world recognized model,” he said, still smiling.
“Is that so? You certainly are handsome enough for that” Yuuri said, smiling back at him.
“Aren’t I? I think it suits me, it’s mysterious but also elegant and fun!”
Dmitri’s enthusiasm was all that mattered, Yuuri thought.
A few hours ago, a storm had made the lights go out. Yuuri had found some candles to light up the flat and now they were sitting on their gloomy kitchen.
Viktor was quiet. As they ate dinner together, the silence was heavy between them.
“I haven’t talked to my father in fifteen years,” said Viktor. Yuuri looked up at him, surprised to hear that.
“That’s a long time…” Yuuri said, looking at him from the other side of the table. It was very rare, to hear him talk about his family.
“It is. I’ve been thinking, lately. From one to ten, how much of a bad idea would it be to invite my parents to the wedding?” he asked, but Yuuri knew it was rhetoric. “On one hand, it’s a special date, isn’t it? I’ve never been shy about who I am and who I love but… I never tell them anything myself, you know? I wonder if it’d be a good idea to bring them and have them making a scene. If he was rude to you… I don’t think I could stand it” Viktor explained.
Yuuri stood up from his place and walked towards Viktor, sitting down on his lap. Viktor looked up at him almost immediately and Yuuri cupped his cheek in one hand.
“I don’t mind if they are rude to me. Don’t worry about me when it comes to your family. Maybe we can invite them to come over? Have dinner together? That way we can taste the waters, see how they would react. If you don’t like it… you don’t have to invite them” Yuuri said, gently. “You don’t owe them anything just because you are blood related to them. But don’t push them away before you know their answer” Yuuri said and leaned down to press a light kiss against Viktor’s lips. As always, they were smooth and warm.
“I think my mother would like you,” Viktor said, holding Yuuri’s waist and bringing him closer.
“Would she?”
“I mean, in my opinion, no sane person could dislike you, my love” Viktor said, chuckling.
“I don’t know, I can be very annoying” Yuuri joked.
“Hmm… that is true. Perhaps I should keep you a secret, after all.”
Yuri knew that, if you want something done, you had to do it yourself. Besides, he honestly had no idea how to ask for help with this issue. He was sure something was going on, he was sure Katsudon was seeing someone else. The thing is… it didn’t make any sense. Him and Viktor looked happy together. They had a good life, a flat they shared, a cute dog. What else could he want? What on earth could he be missing?
So, he decided to do the only logical thing he could think of follow Katsudon and figure out himself what the hell was he doing.
It wasn’t hard to do. Katsudon wasn’t exactly subtle and the fact that he wasn’t openly hiding made Yuri think perhaps it was all a big misunderstanding. Yuuri lift his home without looking around or check if he was being followed. He stepped out and took a cab without even hiding his face, and so, Yuri took another cab and followed him from a distance.
Honestly, he was being an idiot, Yuri thought. Katsudon would never cheat on Viktor. He wasn’t that kind of guy.
And yet, the taxi stopped right in front of a hotel. Not just any other, but the Plaza.
“What the hell?” Yuri mumbled as he paid and, unlike Yuuri, he tried to hide himself: he was wearing a black face mask and was observing from a safe distance. Maybe Katsudon was only here to ask for… a salon or something, that was a thing, right? Maybe he was planning an event. The wedding, that had to be it. Of course, he was excited and being secretive about a surprise for Viktor, what else could it be? It made sense, now that he thought about it. The little laughs at his phone, the meetings… Of course. He was just expecting the worse because he was used to do so. He was just being dumb, he told himself and stood up from the sofa he had been using. He should be practicing, anyway, instead of losing his time following Katsudon while he looked around the lobby and…
And was hugged by a random stranger.
“What the heck!” Yuri gasped, quickly taking out his phone. Evidence. Evidence, he told himself, but he was frozen. This couldn’t be possible, right? There was an explanation for this. There had to be. Yuuri probably had a reason to meet with a random guy in a hotel. A guy who seemed to be very friendly with him.
A guy who kissed him on the lips.
Holy shit.
This was bad, he thought as he snapped a couple of pictures as they left, hand on hand, towards the elevators. To a room. A room in the Plaza. In a fancy hotel by the beach. A romantic hotel. With another man. What was the name on his phone? Dmitri, wasn’t it? Was this the guy?
Yuri wanted to run towards them, to rush and hit them both before running to Viktor and telling him what kind of trash was sharing his house. His bed. His dog.
God, Viktor was going to be devastated. This would ruin him; he just knew it. It was the kind of thing he’d cry about for months, maybe even years. He was dramatic like that.
“Fuck…” Yuri mumbled as he left himself fall on the sofa and stared at the picture he managed to take. Dmitri’s face wasn’t clear, but Yuuri’s wasn’t. There was no doubt it was him.
Maybe they could make a deal. Drop this little thing with that dark-haired asshole or else. Or else, he’d send the picture to the press and ruin him back. Yeah, that sounded like a good plan. Maybe they could go to couple’s therapy. That was a thing, right? Not everything had to be lost. It wasn’t like Katsudon wasn’t in love anymore, right? It wasn’t like he was going to leave out of the sudden or quit ice skating to pursue… whatever the hell was going on.
His head hurt just thinking about it. Nothing made sense, but he wasn’t going to sit here and wait for them to come out. He needed to come up with a plan of attack. Talk to Mila, he told himself. Maybe Otabek. They’d know what to do.
It was meant to happen sooner or later. Ever since Dmitri asked for his number, Yuuri knew they would end up coming into a place like this. Still, he was surprised they walked into such a fancy hotel. Their suite was large and elegant and, opposite to all the bedrooms he had shared with Viktor during a competition, there was only one large bed in the center of the room.
“Do you like it?” Dmitri asked, reaching for his hand and kissing it.
“It’s a nice room,” Yuuri said with a nod. They stood still for a moment, staring at each other. The tension could be cut with a knife. They were going to do this, Yuuri thought. And, with a sudden realization of where they were, they both threw each other into the other’s arms. Yuuri started to undo Dmitri’s shirt with trembling fingers as he was busy undoing Yuuri’s belt and struggling with his zipper.
They were both eager as they stumbled towards the bed, clothes half undone as they kept kissing each other. It was as if they couldn’t pull away. It had always been like that.
“You are gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous” Dmitri panted as he threw Yuuri onto the bed and pulled his shirt off, leaving Yuuri half-naked over the covers. “How dare you be so beautiful in my presence? How dare you seduce me like this, over and over again?” he asked as he threw himself against Yuuri once more. Dmitri was going to fuck him, Yuuri realized and he felt a chill run down his spine as he reached down to undo his pants as well.
It didn’t take them too long to finish undressing each other and, by the time Dmitri was completely naked, Yuuri could only stare at him. Delorache’s Saint Sebastian, Yuuri thought. Herter’s Dying Achilles, Cabanel’s Adam… Out of the sudden, Yuuri’s head was filling with names of statues and paintings, each of them beautiful and breath taking and yet, they couldn’t be compared to the beauty of the man standing in front of him.
The first time Yuuri saw Viktor naked, back in Hasetsu, Yuuri’s mind had been blank, too busy wondering what was going on to appreciate something that wasn’t meant for him to admire or touch.
But this, Yuuri thought, was meant for him to touch and so he did. With more strength than necessary, he reached for Dmitri’s neck and pulled him down and kissed him.
When him and Viktor made love, it was always gentle and loving and sweet, but this was different: this was distillated lust, it was pure need and hunger and when Yuuri raised his hips to brush his shaft against Dmitri’s, he smiled at the low moan that escaped his lips.
Yuuri was busy congratulating himself so he didn’t realize what was about to happen until he felt Dmitri’s wet finger make its way inside him. It wasn’t cold, but the sensation still surprised him. Yuuri relaxed almost immediately. He wasn’t a stranger to this and yet, it was so different.
Dmitri moved with ease and experience, but where Viktor was slow and gentle, Dmitri was hungry and eager. Yuuri closed his eyes and moaned.
“He never touches you like this, does he?” Dmitri said, his voice low and almost proud. “I bet he touches you like he’s afraid he might break you… but you are not going to break, are you, Yuuri?” he teased.
“No… I’m not,” Yuuri said, biting his lower lip as Dmitri leaned down to kiss one of his legs before putting it over one of his shoulders.
Yuuri held the sheets as Dmitri penetrated him, his back arched and he moaned loudly as Dmitri started pounding against him. It was so dirty, Yuuri thought, to do something like this in a hotel room, moaning like this in a place where they could be heard easily… that idea made him come, but they were far from being done.
Dmitri had pulled out to turn him around and oh, wasn’t this new? To lay on his stomach and present himself, his hips up in the air, knowing the other could see him spread and wet and gaping. It made him shiver and Dmitri could see it.
“Do you like this so much?” he asked, his voice deep with lust and Yuuri could only nod. He did like it. He liked it very much, specially the way he held his hips in place, so tightly his fingers would leave a mark and he moved so hard his whole body moved with him. The bed was squeaking, and their bodies were making the most awful noises as they clashed together. And Yuuri loved it. He loved how dirty and wrong and different this was.
“Please… I’m so close…” Yuuri moaned, and Dmitri reached down and held his cock in one hand to stroke it and ah, that was even better.
“Come for me…” he said and Yuuri closed his eyes.
“V-Viktor!” he moaned, burying his face on a pillow, trying to silence his own voice.
“Oh?” Dmitri’s voice sounded amused. “Even in a moment like this, you keep calling for him?” he asked.
“I can’t help it,” Yuuri panted, closing his eyes with a smirk on his face. “It just feels so good…”
“Then I’ll make you feel so much better… until you forget your own name,” Dmitri said. He was always up for a challenge, Yuuri thought, amused.
“Are you sure it was him? I mean, maybe you saw the wrong man” Mila said, shaking her head. “Yuuri wouldn’t do that. Have you seen how they look at each other?”
“That’s why I need your help! I- I didn’t believe it, either, but I saw them! He was kissing some other guy and then they went to a room” Yuri said, shaking his head and throwing his phone at her. “See? I took a picture!”
“Shit…” she mumbled as she stared at the picture. The other man was turned, so there was nothing visible but his dark hair, but Yuuri was looking at him and his face was very visible. It was him, there was no doubt. “Viktor will be devastated…” she said.
“You think I don’t know that? And the nationals are so close… He’s going to throw everything into the trash for that idiot!” Yuri said, kicking the table. “Stupid Katsudon, why would he do something so stupid?!” he yelled.
“I mean… maybe things aren’t as great as they seem, you know? Maybe it’s all for show. We know how Viktor can be, sometimes...”
“As if that pig is any better!” Yuri said, about to spit on the floor, but contained himself.
“Maybe that’s it?” Mila said, suddenly. “You know, some kind of self-destructive mechanism. I’ve seen it happen” she said.
“What the hell do you mean?”
“You know like… when you are so happy with someone you think you don’t deserve, so you try to destroy that relationship before they realize how shitty you are”, she explained.
“That’s… messed up,” Yuri said, frowning. “And also, something Katsudon would do. God damn it”
“We just need to talk to them,” she said. “Remind them how lucky they are to have each other and all that. Then Yuuri will apologize and maybe start therapy or something and it’ll be all in the past” she said with a shrug.
“Would it really be that simple?” Yuri asked, frowning.
That night, as they lay down, naked and tired and bruised, Yuuri heard Dmitri’s voice say something so softly that he wouldn’t have been able to hear it if they were not so close.
“I have a confession to make,” Dmitri said.
“Mhm? What is it?”
“About my job,” Dmitri said. Yuuri frowned. That wasn’t what he was expecting to hear.
“Are you an astronaut now?” Yuuri asked with a small smile on his face, but Dmitri didn’t let him change the subject.
“I’m an accountant,” Dmitri said, softly. “I wear cheap suits daily and I spend my days making numbers and make just enough money to survive. There’s nothing special about me,” he said, and he pressed himself closer against Yuuri. That… wasn’t what he had expected to hear.
“Alright… do you like being an accountant?” he asked.
“I hate it,” Dmitri said. “But my father wanted me to become one, so I did. I never ran away with my grandmother when I was little. I never said no to anything he asked me to do and now, here I am, a simple man, with nothing extraordinary to be proud of” he said.
Yuuri reached down and caressed his long arms. He didn’t say anything.
“Do you think he’s proud of me?” Dmitri asked.
“No, not at all” Yuuri said, closing his eyes. “I don’t think anyone would be proud to have an unhappy son, who’s unsatisfied with his life” Yuuri said, and Dmitri’s arms closed closer against his chest.
“Would you still love me, even if I wasn’t a prince?” Dmitri asked, pressing his forehead against his back, hiding his face even though Yuuri couldn’t look at him. “Even if I didn’t have any money, no reputation, if I was a simple man, with a simple job. Even if I wasn’t a famous actor or a model or a spy or a pro skater. Would you love me if I had nothing to offer you but my heart?”
Yuuri turned around slowly, but he was still looking down, hiding his eyes away from him. “My sweet… I would love you if you were a beggar on the streets. If you had nothing but your heart, I would give you mine without a second thought. One glance is all that would take me to love you endlessly. Even if you were not beautiful, I would love how kind and smart and gentle you are. I would love you in the same way flowers love the sun. No matter your name, your fame or your status. In this one or any other life, I would find you and love you.”
“Yuuri…” Dmitri said, and this time he was sinking his face on his chest. Yuuri let him cry as he held him softly against his chest. Viktor was rarely this vulnerable in front of him, he thought. He was always smiling and composed. The first time Yuuri saw Viktor cry, he couldn’t help to move his bangs from the way and stared at him in awe, realizing even a man like him could cry like that. Viktor had been mad that day, Yuuri remembered. Now, Dmitri was… happy, perhaps. He was sobbing like a child and clinging onto him like he was a life saver. This time, Yuuri didn’t dare to look. Instead, he reached for the lamp and turned it off. There were some things that were meant to be done in the dark.
The next morning, they took a shower together, but they didn’t touch each other. Not in the expected way, at least. They walked into the bathtub and laid there, together. Against his back, Yuuri could feel the soft, gentle heartbeat of the other’s heart. It had been a while since the last time they took a bath together.
They had been working so hard, lately. All they could afford were quick showers and, when they were back, they were too tired to do much. It was nice, breaking routine, Yuuri thought, rediscover each other through a different gaze. Sometimes, Yuuri thought, one needed to tilt their head a little, squint the eyes, just to change their perspective, to find out new things they didn’t know.
At first, when Viktor proposed this idea, he had thought it was crazy and even a little bit silly but now, he could understand what was going through his husband’s head and he was happy he had agreed to it. They could love each other in ways that didn’t involve the ice.
Yuri had had enough. It wasn’t even like they were acting any different. And that was the problem. The pig had some balls to cheat on Viktor and pretend everything was fine. It made him want to punch his stupid face. Couldn’t he see he was ruining everything? Everything he had fought so hard for… he was breaking it apart! He could almost see him, crying in the bathroom, calling his mother, telling her something, that he was an idiot, probably, that he had screwed up, obviously.
He had to take a deep breath as the pig left the rink and sat down. Nodding at Mila, he skated out, as well. This couldn’t keep happening. They would make him see he was being stupid and then he’d stop meeting that guy and everything would be fine.
Yuuri sat, looking up at Yurio and Mila, studying their faces. They had been acting a bit weird lately, he thought as he reached down to take off his skates. His feet were bruised, since he had been working on his jumps today. It was satisfying, to notice he was improving. He had been working really hard, but it wasn’t only that. Seeing Dmitri had helped, he thought, smiling to himself. He was more focused and most of his fears, his insecurities, had slowly retreated to the back of his head, where their voices weren’t as loud.
When he came here, to Russia, he hadn’t been sure of what would happen, but now he was glad he had made this decision.
“We need to talk” said Yurio as he crossed his arms and looked down. That was one of the things that was weird, he thought. For whatever reason, Yurio refused to look at him in the face.
“Why does this feel like an intervention?” Yuuri asked, amused, but when he noticed their serious faces, he realized this was, in fact, an intervention. “Are you guys for real?” Yuuri asked, frowning.
“Listen, Yuuri, there’s no need to feel attacked. We are your friends and we care for you. Both of you, actually,” said Mila.
“…Alright?”
“And we want you to know that, whatever happens, we will support the two of you. We just want what’s best for you guys and…”
“What’s going on here?” Viktor asked from behind and everyone froze. Yuuri frowned as he gestured Viktor to sit with him. “They are giving me an intervention, apparently,” he explained.
“Oh? Did they finally tell you about your socks?” Viktor asked, looking back at him.
“What about my socks?” Yuuri asked, frowning once more.
“You know, it’s not such a big deal, but you keep leaving your socks all over the place. They stink, my love”
“What? I don’t leave my socks all over the place, I always put them in my bag” Yuuri said, looking up at Yurio and Mila. “Is this about that, because I promise it’s not me,” he said.
“It’s not about your fucking socks!” Yuri yelled, annoyed as they looked at them both.
Honestly, how could they be so stupid? It was infuriating. And to see Viktor smile like that, as if everything was fine. Nothing was fine!
“This is about you cheating on Viktor!” Yuri screamed and well. That got their attention.
“I- what?” Yuuri asked, blinking quickly as the color ran from his face. Shit. Shit he had said that in front of Viktor. The plan was to keep Viktor out of this. Shit. This wasn’t right. But it was too late to back down.
“I- I saw you” Yuri said, looking away and looking for his phone. “You- you were with some guy and I- you- fuck…”
“What he’s trying to say is that, whatever problem you guys are facing… we want to help” Mila said, clearing her throat, but the damage was done. Viktor was shaking, his face hidden in his hands.
“I- I don’t know what you saw, Yurio, but I’m not-” Yuuri said, which only infuriated him more. Was he going to deny it?!
“I saw you! I saw! Look!” he said, shoving his phone into his hand, the incriminating picture already open. Yuuri stared at it for a moment and then…
“God damn it, Viktor, this isn’t funny!” he said, looking at him and, as he raised his head, Yuri realized he was, in fact, laughing. Shouldn’t he be crying? Shouldn’t he be devastated or something?
“I’m- s-sorry! It’s just s-so funny!” Viktor said, between chuckles. Yuuri could only sigh, pressing the bridge of his nose.
“Guys, I’m not cheating on Viktor” Yuuri said, sounding incredibly tired.
“What do you mean you are not! You- you’ve been texting and- and you act weird! And you meet him in a hotel!” Yuri said. If this kept going, he was going to beat the pig to a pulp, he decided, closing his fists.
“Yes, I did meet someone in the Plaza” Yuuri said, pointing at Viktor with his thumb. “I was meeting him.”
“You… wait. What?” Yuri asked, looking between them. Viktor was still chuckling while, this time, Yuuri was the one hiding his face in his hands. Was he… blushing?
“The one in the picture. It’s me with a dark-haired wig” Viktor explained, still amused.
“But… the texts?” Yuri said.
“I got myself another phone” he said, pulling out the black iPhone from his pocket, along with his rose-gold one.
“I still think that was a terrible waste of money…” Yuuri mumbled, shaking his head.
“I wanted to play my part properly! Besides, you loved my texts, don’t pretend you didn’t” Viktor said, leaning against Yuuri.
“But what- why would he- what is going on?” Yuri asked, looking between them, confused.
“It all started as a little game of ours,” Viktor said. “But it had so much potential, you see… I just couldn’t help myself. It was meant to be little bit of an elaborated joke, at first, but then…” Viktor said, frowning. “Well. We got carried away, I think.”
“I would never, ever cheat on Viktor,” Yuuri said, as he began to calm down. “This just…”
“You kinky motherfucker!” Mila said, out of the sudden, as she covered her mouth with her hands. Yuuri could only blush. Yuri felt like dying right in the spot, quickly understanding the implications of following them to a hotel and…
“Ah! Fuck-! I- I fucking hate you two so much!” he screamed, pulling his hair. “You idiots, I thought- and then! Argh! You are unbelievable!”
“I do have to say, it’s a little touching that you would try to help us fix things if it ever came to something like this,” Viktor said, smiling at them.
“What do you mean, spice things up?” Yuuri had asked, a couple of months ago.
“I don’t know like… going out on a date or something,” Viktor said, resting his head on Yuuri’s lap.
“Oh yes, that’s quite naughty” he laughed. Viktor laughed, as well.
“Shut up! I just mean… all we do is work. We should do something fun. Isn’t that something partners do?”
“You mean, like roleplay?” Yuuri asked, still amused.
“We are already coach and student, so that one’s out” Viktor said. “Besides, it’s quite boring, isn’t it?”
“I doubt I can ever get bored with you around.”
“Yes, but… how about this!” Viktor said as he reached for Yuuri’s forgotten scarf and put it over his head, as an improvised wig. “Well, what do you think!”
“…About what, Vitya?”
“No, I’m not Viktor! I’m… let me think… Fabio!”
“Fabio?”
“Yeah, you are right, it sounds ugly. I’ll come up with a better name!”
“What for, exactly?”
“Our game, of course!” Viktor said, smiling. “I’ll pretend to be someone else, someone different!”
“And why would I want someone else but you?” Yuuri asked, chuckling as he sank his fingers on Viktor’s silky hair.
“Maybe… maybe I’d like to be someone else, sometimes” he mumbled. Yuuri stopped only for a moment, trying to take in what he just said. “It’s not like I’m ungrateful for what I have. It’s just… sometimes, I wonder what it would be like. To be just… a regular person. Or maybe an extraordinary person in some other way. Like- how many chances did I lose for pursuing ice skating? I never went to college, like you. Maybe I could’ve been a great doctor or something like that” he explained.
“Well… it’s not too late to enroll in college. You could still be many other wonderful things,” Yuuri said, leaning down to kiss his temple.
“Would you still love me, if I was someone else?” he asked, looking up at him.
“If you were someone else, you wouldn’t be you” Yuuri said, frowning.
“No, but- if it was me, but with like… a different name or a job or hair color. But it was still me… I’m sorry, I don’t know how to explain it. Just forget I said it,” Viktor mumbled, shaking his head.
“Well. That was interesting” was all Viktor said once they went home.
Yuuri left himself fall onto the couch with a groan and covered his face with the back of his arm.
“I still can’t believe they thought I’d cheat on you! Me!” he said.
“Is that really so unbelievable?” Viktor asked, chuckling and sitting at his side.
“Of course it is! I love you!” Yuuri said, taking his arm away from his face and looking at him. “More than anything.”
“I love you too, Yuuri,” Viktor said, leaning to kiss his lips. “Does this mean I have to get rid of my wig?” he asked.
Yuuri laughed.