Chapter Text
Ahri left her.
It wasn’t so surprising, really, if Evelynn thought about it. She was an idol, a K-Pop star with too blue eyes, and a smile so vibrant that it made people weak in the knees. Evelynn – well. Evelynn was none of those things. She was a strung-out drug addict who couldn’t get her fucking shit together. She knew Ahri was going to leave her, cut ties with the thing holding her career back. Strung out as she was, Evelynn wasn’t an idiot. She could hear the hushed arguments between Ahri and her management team; arguments about her, mostly. Evelynn was holding her back, making her miss rehearsals, putting Ahri in a bad public light.
It made Evelynn’s teeth ache for a hit, something to take the guilt away, despite the near-constant hits being the source of said guilt. Evelynn was bad for Ahri. She knew this, but she couldn’t just leave her. Ahri was the light in the darkness – Ahri made her want to be better. Still though…she couldn’t get her fucking shit together. The lure of the high was too fucking strong. So, Evelynn followed it. She always had. And Ahri left her.
She sat in their too-big house, half-empty closet standing open to her right. All of Ahri’s things were gone, her clothes, her jewelry, her makeup – everything. All she had was a worn piece of paper, like Ahri had spent ages writing it, wringing it in anxious hands. Evelynn crumpled it in her own hand, flipping her zippo lighter on and off, watching the flame dance and cast strange shadows over the walls. Her teeth ached, her body screaming at her for the rush of heroin, or the thrill of cocaine, or anything, really. Evelynn had always been partial to injecting the heroin, craving the sudden, immediate high it brought her. Everything was just better when she was high.
But no – not tonight. Not when Ahri left her with nothing but a shitty letter to say goodbye. Evelynn imagined those too blue eyes, misty with emotion as she wrote. Or maybe she was just angry, too fed up with Evelynn’s bullshit to even be sad about it anymore. Evelynn didn’t know. She didn’t feel like she knew Ahri at all anymore. How much could you really know anyone, after all?
Seized with sudden, all-consuming rage, Evelynn snarled, dragging over an empty trash can and lighting the fucking letter on fire. She let it burn, let the flames lick at her fingers until the heat became unbearable. She dropped the rapidly crumbling paper into the trash can, letting it burn itself out as she watched. She took to pacing, a headache pounding behind her tired eyes. Her fingers danced against her thighs, drumming an anxious beat. She paced faster, unsure what she wanted to do. But – no. She knew what she wanted to do, but she wouldn’t give Ahri the fucking satisfaction. She wouldn’t take a hit. She wouldn’t.
Before Evelynn realized what she was doing, she found herself on her hands and knees, reaching underneath the bed. A stash was there, hidden in plain sight for when the urge hit, when the addiction took root in her stomach and branched out, spreading the poison through her nerves and skin and muscle until it was all she could think about. Desperate fingers found the box and, disgusted with herself, Evelynn wrenched the top off it. Nothing.
She stared in disbelief, a single, soggy laugh erupting from her lips as her eyes flooded with hot, angry tears. Not only had Ahri left her, but she’d also taken the one thing that could make Evelynn feel better about it. Snarling, nearly feral, Evelynn threw the box across the room, watching it break against the wall, chipping the paint. Whatever. It wasn’t like Evelynn could afford this place on her own – that was the next owners’ problem. She shouted behind clenched teeth, dragging her fingers through her hair, hands shaking. She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t – but there wasn’t anything else she could do. Ahri was gone. Heroin was all that was left.
In a daze, Evelynn grabbed her coat, shrugging it on and making her way downstairs. The pictures remained undisturbed and she paused to observe them. There was one of Ahri and her at their high school graduation. Ahri was mid-laugh, Evelynn looking smitten next to her, arm looped around her waist. They looked young, happy. The next was college, which provided more of the same. Though, Ahri looked smitten in this one. There was a photo of them wrapped around each other after Ahri got signed, one at the party for her first release, one from their first vacation together. Evelynn could see exactly where she fell off the wagon each time. The addiction had been an ongoing struggle.
She’d gotten clean for a long fucking time. After high school, Ahri had threatened to leave, in college, she’d threatened to leave. Fear had spurred Evelynn into action, quitting cold turkey the first couple of times. It had been the most difficult thing in the world – the most painful too. But it was for Ahri, she didn’t want to lose Ahri. She was clean until Ahri was signed. Drugs and alcohol flowed like candy and Evelynn, despite the fact she was clean, was still an addict. It was dangled in front of her face and she partook, telling herself it was only the one hit, to see what it was like. From there, it spiraled. She’d been using for years, getting progressively worse as time wore on. Ahri threatened to leave again, but it fell on deaf ears. She hadn’t the first few times – she wouldn’t this time. Ahri would be there for her – Evelynn knew it. She was wrong.
Blinking, Evelynn continued down the stairs, flipping the hood of her jacket up over her hair. She caught a flash of her reflection in a mirror, stopping fast to look at herself. She looked terrible. Deep shadows bruised under her eyes, her cheeks hollowed out – cheekbones sharp in a distinctly unhealthy looking way. Her skin even looked terrible, dull, and dry. She stared accusingly at her reflection, disgusted despite herself. It was no wonder Ahri left her. Evelynn wouldn’t have stayed with herself either. Her fist clenched, and without thinking about it, she swung it into the mirror, shattering her own busted reflection. The glass cracked, shattering beneath her hand. It stung suddenly, and Evelynn sucked in a breath through her teeth as she hastily brought her hand back. The glass fell from the frame, thunking into the desk underneath it. Bright specks of broken glass fell over the carpet, falling like bright little stars. There was something poetic there if Evelynn cared enough to think about it.
She didn’t. She, instead, twisted her hand, seeing deep cuts from the glass lining the side of her hand. The pain was sudden and intense, and she hissed out a breath through her teeth, nails biting into her palm. It made her ache for the high even more, knowing it would make the pain disappear. Both the physical and emotional. Blood leaked from the wounds, down Evelynn’s wrist to drip into the expensive carpet. There was probably glass in it, but Evelynn didn’t care. She simply unfolded her fingers, kicked the desk, and crunched her way across the broken glass to the front door.
The cold air was bracing, and Evelynn watched her breath fog the air. It made the heat in her hand increase tenfold, the throb clearing her head of the worst of the craving. She took a moment to breathe deep, the cold air filling her lungs. Mist clung to her hair and Evelynn pulled her coat a little tighter. She didn’t even bother to lock the door behind her as she left. She padded away from their overpriced neighborhood, ignoring the neighbors calling out to her in greeting. Fuck them. They’d always liked Ahri more than her anyway. They were probably thrilled she’d no longer be around. She shoved her unhurt hand into her pocket, flexing her fingers to force blood into them, to warm herself up.
It didn’t take her long to find her preferred dealer. A fifteen-minute walk down to the corner of their stupid neighborhood had her passing the dealer a hundred dollar bill in exchange for a decent amount of her chosen poison. A tenner couldn’t get her high anymore and Evelynn knew she’d need a shit ton to make her forget everything tonight. She was pretty sure she had single-handedly funded her dealer’s life with as much of Ahri’s money she gave him.
She pocketed the drugs, wandering until she was so cold she felt numb. She didn’t want to go shoot up in her and Ahri’s shared home. She still harbored enough self-realization to realize that would make her feel even guiltier in the morning. Instead, she found herself a nice, stereotypically dank alley to post up in. Sniffing, Evelynn glanced around, retreating into the shadows, wondering if her eyes flashed to anyone passing by. It gave her a sick, sadistic sense of pleasure to imagine scaring people. If she had to be miserable, so did everyone else. Settling down with her back against the wall, Evelynn flicked the crook of her arm a few times, knowing already it was no hope. Her veins there were pretty much shot. She was having to get increasingly more creative with her injection sites.
Finally, she found a decent one, pressing the plunger down on the syringe and losing herself in blessed numbness.
***
Ahri was beautiful like this, Evelynn would never think anything different. She was radiant, basking in the attention. She supposed, distantly, that she should be jealous. People were fawning all over Ahri, nearly tripping over themselves for the satisfaction of her attention.
However, Evelynn knew Ahri. She knew that woman was hers, through and through, just as she was Ahri’s. So, instead of flying into a tacky jealous rage, Evelynn simply lounged back in her chair, sipping at her champagne. Her eyes flicked away from Ahri momentarily taking refuge on a pretty obvious drug deal near the entrance of the room. She knew it was bad for her, knew she should look away – but she couldn’t. Evelynn bit the inside of her cheek, watching the handsome young actor nervously pass money over to the equally handsome dealer. She watched the fine white powder being pressed into his hand. The actor nervously scratched at his cheek and Evelynn bit her own harder in response. It was getting more difficult to ignore those types of things, but she was doing well so far. She was behaving. For Ahri’s sake.
She tore her eyes away from the fine white powder, ignoring the itch beneath her skin in favor of watching the other captivating thing in the room. Ahri was laughing, leaning in close with some good looking woman and talking right into her ear. She was pressed up against the other woman, arm thrown carelessly around her shoulders as they spoke. Evelynn took a sip of her champagne, relishing the way the bubbles popped against the backs of her teeth. She swirled the alcohol idly, watching Ahri as she wove the people around her little finger. They would eat out of the palm of her hand if she asked, Evelynn knew it for a fact.
Snorting in amusement, she crossed her legs, propping her chin in the palm of her hand as her eyes wandered. She was bored, and when she was bored, she ogled Ahri. Her eyes swept over her girlfriend’s bare shoulders, down the graceful line of her spine. She watched the shift of muscle along her back, licking across the front of her teeth. The problem with being bored and staring at Ahri meant she started imagining Ahri naked and that opened a whole can of worms that Evelynn knew Ahri didn’t want to deal with tonight. It was too important to her. Still though…she was awfully nice to look at. She followed the graceful line of Ahri’s spine down to the curve of her rear, tilting her head as she stared. Once she got her fill, Evelynn looked back up again, finding Ahri glancing sidelong at her.
Evelynn laughed under her breath, raising her champagne glass in Ahri’s direction – admitting defeat. Ahri broke away from the gaggle of people around her, smiling and making excuses. Evelynn felt a subtle thrill go through her stomach at the action. She sat up straight, fingers tapping at the rim of her glass. Ahri came toward her, the click of her heels on the tile floor nearly all Evelynn could hear. She was just so fun at these things.
“Hi Eve,” Ahri grinned, bracing her weight against one hand on the table. Evelynn’s eyes fell immediately to the generous spill of her breasts
at the top of Ahri’s dress. “You might actually get somewhere if you came over, you know.”
Evelynn made a face, flicking her eyes up to meet Ahri’s again. “I’m trying to behave. I know how important this is to you.”
“Oh, you’re too sweet,” Ahri teased, standing straight and brushing the backs of her fingers over Evelynn’s cheek. “When have you ever behaved?”
“I’m behaving right now,” Evelynn drawled, gesturing loosely around her.
“Well…don’t.”
Evelynn’s eyes flashed, and she stared hard into Ahri’s pretty face. The smirk at the corner of her mouth was downright sinful and Evelynn clenched her hand hard around her champagne glass.
“This thing is boring anyway. Don’t behave.”
“You seemed to be having plenty of fun over there,” Evelynn said, gesturing in the direction of Ahri’s cluster of admirers.
“Seemed being the operative word.” Ahri braced both hands on the table, leaning in close, invading Evelynn’s personal space. “I’d have a lot more fun with you, Eve.”
Evelynn didn’t rise to the bait, though the admission set her stomach squirming. She slowly brought the champagne glass to her lips, not breaking eye contact with Ahri as she took a sip, wrapping her lips around the rim a bit more obviously than was strictly necessary. She did enjoy seeing the flush of pink in Ahri’s cheeks at the action though. “We’ll see.”
Ahri tsk-d, standing straight and booping Evelynn’s nose as she turned on her heel and moved back toward the crowd of people she’d left behind. Instead of immediately raising to the lure, Evelynn sat back, feeling like she held all the cards. That was half the fun of being with Ahri. The push and pull, the game of cat and mouse. It had always been that way. Since they were kids, they’d enjoyed dancing around each other, letting the tension hang thick between them until it broke and they either rolled with it or broke with it. Their fights, after all, were legendary. Evelynn huffed in amusement under her breath, her fingers drumming idly against the table as she watched Ahri charm the crowd again. It was so effortless for her. Evelynn was sure that fucking gorgeous face helped.
She let it hang – the game heating up the longer she let it. She noticed Ahri glancing over at her, annoyance pinching her brow. She surely thought Evelynn’s self-control would have broken by now. “Oh no, baby,” Evelynn thought, “I’ve got self-control for days. I haven’t touched drugs in years – you’re close, but you’re no heroin.”
She watched as Ahri started to squirm, becoming genuinely bored with entertaining the crowd around her. Still, Evelynn let it hang, watching Ahri get increasingly annoyed as the time wore on. Finally, taking pity on her, Evelynn stood, finishing her champagne and setting the glass on table with a solid thunk. She moved through the party-goers, feeling distinctly like a predator about to pounce on unsuspecting prey. Ahri had stopped glancing for her about half an hour ago, apparently considering the game over. She caught snippets of conversation as they moved in close. It was nothing she cared about.
Thoughtlessly, she ran her hand up Ahri’s back, scratching a touch too hard at the dimples to either side of her spine. Backless dresses were fun, especially when Ahri wore them. She felt her girlfriend stiffen, going to pull away before she realized who it was. Ahri leaned back into her, shoulders going loose, her whole body relaxing under Evelynn’s touch. They were about the same height, but Evelynn’s heels were taller tonight, so Ahri turned her head and breathed out against the curve of her jaw.
“Oh, hi baby.”
“Hi,” Evelynn murmured back, making eye contact with the person who had been speaking with Ahri. “Hi,” she said louder, removing her hand from Ahri’s back in favor of offering them a wave, “Evelynn.”
They introduced themselves, but Evelynn only half-heard, far more interested in the curves of Ahri’s body. Ahri began speaking with them again, far more animatedly now that Evelynn was at her back. The surrounding people were far more interested in Ahri too, which, for the moment, suited Evelynn just fine. She took her time touching the woman in front of her, ghosting her touch against the clothed curve of Ahri’s hip, the bare slope of her shoulder, the soft jut of the corner of her jaw. Ahri seemed to approve, shifting her weight from foot to foot and breathing slowly out every time Evelynn glanced over somewhere new. It was so easy to rile her up like this. Ahri always did relish performing in front of a crowd. Evelynn caught sight of the flush in her cheeks and had to bite the inside of her own to keep from smiling.
She bent her neck, ghosting a kiss against the curve of Ahri’s jaw. Ahri glanced over at her, gaze soft, indulgent. She groped blindly for Evelynn’s hand, and Evelynn gave it to her. She twined their fingers, squeezing her hand. “I love you,” she told her, a slow, sweet smile playing at the corner of her mouth.
Evelynn’s heart gave a sudden, uneven thump in her chest. Her world spun and she found herself lost once again in those too blue eyes. “Yeah,” she breathed out, kissing her cheek with purpose this time, “Love you too.”
Ahri smiled at her, the corners of her eyes crinkling. She broke their gaze in favor of going back to the conversation at hand. She gave Evelynn’s hand one more squeeze, releasing it to talk with her hands. Evelynn gave her hip a squeeze, her fingers walking around to the dip at the base of Ahri’s spine.
The dress was low in the back, exposing as much of it as possible without going vulgar. Evelynn certainly appreciated it – both as someone with a distinct eye for fashion and as someone with a distinct interest in Ahri’s body. She stroked her thumb gently along the base of Ahri’s spine, smirking as her girlfriend’s voice shook. She repeated the motion, Ahri’s body repressing a shiver at the motion. Evelynn could feel it though, pressed against her back as she was. With her own body in the way, her hand had free reign to grope whatever part of Ahri she wanted. Ahri had given her permission to not behave, after all.
She slipped her fingers beneath the fabric of Ahri’s dress, plucking playfully at her underwear as she went. She couldn’t comfortably fit her whole hand in – not without threatening the integrity of the stitching, but Evelynn did what she could with what she had. Ahri’s voice climbed an octave, her whole body stiffening as Evelynn swirled her fingers across warm skin. Her free hand rested on Ahri’s left hip, a warm anchor to keep her still – to not give the game away. With every gentle brush of her fingers, Ahri sounded more and more breathless.
She wasn’t even touching anything overtly sexual. Still though, it was the forbidden nature of it that seemed to be doing it for both of them. If anyone saw them – Evelynn with her fingers down the back of Ahri’s dress – it would be a media frenzy. They already were. Evelynn knew she wasn’t exactly the squeakiest clean option for Ahri to be publicly dating. She looked scary, she looked mean, she looked like a lot of things. Granted, Evelynn knew she was kind of mean. Not to Ahri though, never to Ahri. (That wasn’t strictly true either, their fights got nasty).
Ahri licked her lips, shifting her hips back to press against Evelynn’s front. “Hey,” she smoothly cut into the conversation, “Can you all excuse me for just a minute? Have to go powder my nose.” She smiled, feigning shyness for the crowd’s benefit. It was so stupid, but since it was Ahri, it was also endlessly charming. “C’mon Eve.” She subtly brushed free of Evelynn’s grip, taking the hand that was just down her dress and giving it a gentle tug.
“Duty calls,” she murmured to the crowd, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth. She caught some confused looks, some thinly veiled surprise. Whatever, let them think what they would. Most of them were probably only half wrong.
Ahri kept their fingers tangled as she led her to the nearest bathroom. They were stopped several times along the way, once for a photo. Ahri wasted no time wrapping herself around Evelynn and grinning at the lens. Evelynn herself even smiled, hand resting comfortably on Ahri’s lower back. Ahri effortlessly kept the conversations short though, moving Evelynn with her. She found them a single person bathroom, pressing in the lock and leaning back with her shoulders against the tile walls.
“Ugh, it seems like it never ends.” She tilted her head back, hitting the back of her head gently against the wall.
“Mm,” was Evelynn’s noncommittal answer.
Ahri cracked an eye open, shoulders slumping. “Oh, get over here,” she said, amusement thick in her tone.
Evelynn did so, walking forward and pressing her palms to the wall beside Ahri’s head, bracketing her between her arms. She nosed Ahri’s head to the side, pressing her nose up underneath her jaw and inhaling deeply. She smelled like expensive perfume – something fresh and woodsy. “You smell nice,” she breathed into her skin.
Ahri’s fingers carded through her hair, catching the dyed red strands and working through any tangles she found with unbearable gentleness. “That was mean out there, you know.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, of course you don’t. You should have just eased the zipper down and done something else, not sat there and teased me for an hour.”
“You could have pulled me in here sooner.”
“Fair,” Ahri sighed, going warm and pliant under her hands.
Evelynn pressed a kiss to the skin of her neck, pulling back to gather Ahri’s hair and smooth it over her opposite shoulder. She pressed her mouth to the newly exposed skin, starting just under the curve of her jaw and trailing kisses down to her collar bone. “What do you want, Ahri?” she breathed against her throat, nipping gently with her teeth. No marks, she knew better than that.
A groan got caught in Ahri’s throat, and Evelynn felt her hips jog forward. She leaned forward, pressing her weight into the woman in front of her, keeping her pinned. She pressed her hands against Ahri’s ribs, applying gentle, consistent pressure. “What do you want, Ahri?”
“Mm – you. You, Eve.”
“Me what?”
“Oh, you – ” Ahri’s teeth snapped ineffectually at the open air and she opened her eyes to glare blearily at her, “You know what.”
“I do,” Evelynn agreed. “I want to hear you say it.”
A flash of something shot through Ahri’s eyes at that and Evelynn pulled back from her neck, standing in front of her and looking down into that gorgeous face. Ahri reached up, looping her arms over Evelynn’s shoulders and swaying them gently from side to side in a pantomime of a dance. “I want you to make me go stupid.”
Evelynn felt a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth. It wasn’t quite what she was looking for, but it was certainly enough to get her blood pumping. She sure could make Ahri go stupid. “That’ll do,” she praised, leaning forward and taking Ahri’s mouth in a kiss.
Ahri was warm and pliable under her hands and she opened her mouth as soon as Evelynn’s tongue brushed her lower lip. She stepped forward, pressing herself flush against Ahri, forcing her harshly back against the bathroom wall. She swept her tongue through Ahri’s mouth, curling it against the backs of her teeth. She swallowed the groan that Ahri let out, working her thigh between Ahri’s and slipping her hands down to the swell of her hips. Ahri’s hips jogged forward again, not finding the friction she was looking for. Her dress was way too in the way.
Evelynn, taking pity on her, reached behind her and undid the zipper. She eased the dress down her torso, her free right hand coming up to cover a breast and squeezing. A flush had painted Ahri’s skin a pretty pink, spreading from the tips of her ears all the way down her chest. She broke the kiss, leaving Ahri gasping and chasing after her. “Be patient,” she told her, tone brook no-nonsense. Ahri bit her bottom lip, blue eyes hazy with desire – but she obeyed. Good.
Her thumb thoughtlessly slid over Ahri’s nipple as her left hand worked the dress down the swell of her hips. Ahri stepped out of it as the fabric pooled at her feet. She was a god damn vision, shining golden under the shitty fluorescent light of the bathroom. Evelynn took a moment to admire her – the soft curves of her body combined with the hard-earned musculature that Ahri hated curating. She never enjoyed the workouts, but Evelynn was grateful for them if only for how alluring it made her look. Though, Evelynn admitted to herself, she’d like Ahri no matter how much or how little muscle tone she had. “Mm,” she hummed out, giving Ahri’s breast another grateful squeeze. “Let’s lose these too.”
She plucked thoughtlessly at Ahri’s underwear, hooking her index finger into the string over her hip and tugging it down. Ahri helped, wiggling her hips to aid in their removal. Evelynn grinned as the light reflected off a smear of arousal on Ahri’s inner thigh. She really had been worked up. Despite herself, she felt a swell of pride well in her chest.
Ahri shivered as she leaned back against the wall. “Cold,” she told her needlessly, reaching out for Evelynn.
“I bet,” Evelynn teased, pressing both her hands on Ahri’s ribs and sliding them down along the dip in her waist. She sighed in appreciation, her thumbs passing over the dips of muscle near Ahri’s hips. “You’re just a god damn sight.”
Ahri flushed, biting her lower lip. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” She leaned forward, kissing her throat and drawing her tongue up along the curve of her jaw. She tasted like salt and – less sexy – like expensive perfume. Evelynn’s nose wrinkled and she dropped her head to suck a mark against the inside of Ahri’s breast. She could hide it here, and the salty taste filling her mouth would be better than the taste of perfume. A groan fell from Ahri’s lips at the action.
Evelynn took her time, in no hurry to end this so soon. She’d promised to make Ahri stupid and sometimes the only way to do that was to reduce her to a begging, crying mess, pawing at her with no finesse. She heard Ahri’s breathing go steadily more ragged, her hands tugging none too gently at any part of her Ahri could reach. She scraped her teeth over the curve of Arhi’s breast, her fingers sliding over her hip bones, along the crease of her thigh, back up to each of her ribs. She knew she was being cruel – but no one had ever accused Evelynn of being a nice woman.
Ahri was starting to sweat, the sheen of it impossibly alluring in the shitty lighting of the bathroom. Or, Evelynn admitted to herself, maybe she was just smitten. She was flushed, her pupils blown, her mouth parted around the breaths seeming to tear their way out of Ahri’s pretty mouth. Evelynn leaned forward, nipping Ahri’s lower lip with her teeth and catching her mouth in a kiss again. It was sloppy, unrestrained. Evelynn had to wipe her mouth as she pulled away.
“Eve,” Ahri breathed, hands fisting in the material of Evelynn’s dress, “Please.”
Humming deep in her chest, Evelynn leaned forward, kissing up Ahri’s jaw until her lips rested against the shell of her ear. “When I’m ready. Be good.”
The moan Ahri let out sounded more like a sob. She tugged at Evelynn’s dress harder, without grace. Good, she was getting close to where Evelynn wanted her. Evelynn pressed a kiss to the shell of Ahri’s ear, dropping her head to lavish her breasts with more attention. Her hands kept up their slow stroking across exposed skin. She used her left hand to squeeze one of Ahri’s breasts, closing her mouth over the nipple of that same breast. Ahri let out a ragged gasp, one of her hands flying up to tangle in Evelynn’s hair. She flicked her tongue over her nipple, working it into a stiff peak before she closed her lips around it and sucked.
Ahri’s face screwed up at the stimulation and she tilted her head back against the tile. Evelynn let her enjoy the feeling for a moment before releasing her with a pop. She licked her lips, feeling a little flushed herself. She swallowed hard, eyeing her other breast. She moved her mouth over to hover over it, leaving her left hand cupping Ahri’s right breast. “Open your mouth,” she breathed against Ahri’s skin.
Nearly immediately, Ahri obeyed, and Evelynn felt a rush of power so strong it nearly made her swoon. She pressed her thumb to Ahri’s tongue, making a low noise of displeasure as Ahri made to close her mouth around it. She stopped, keeping her jaw loose for her. “Good girl,” she praised, feeling the full-body shudder she got in response. She wet the pad of her thumb against Ahri’s tongue, using it to keep Ahri’s right nipple stiff and occupied as Evelynn busied her mouth with her left.
Ahri grunted, not even bothering to keep herself quiet anymore. Good. That was a good sign that Evelynn was making good on her promise. She left Ahri’s left breast with a similar pop, snagging Ahri’s chin with her right hand and looking her square in the face. She smiled, soft, indulgent, at what she found. Ahri groaned at the sight, leaning forward and sinking her teeth into the curve of Evelynn’s shoulder. Hissing, Evelynn’s head snapped back, the pain sending a surge of arousal through her so strong that she was liable to bend Ahri over the sink and fuck her into next week.
“Fucking shit, Ahri.”
A muffled groan was all she got in response.
“Up.” She tapped the side of her face. Ahri loosened her jaw and let her head fall back against the wall.
She tapped her left leg too, and Ahri wrapped it around her right hip. She kept her stable, her left hand wrapped around the back of her thigh. “Help me out here,” she breathed against the curve of Ahri’s cheek. She pressed her index and middle finger against Ahri’s lips.
Ahri responded with gusto, closing her lips around Evelynn’s fingers and taking them deep into her mouth, nearly down her throat. Only Evelynn’s grumbled warning kept her in check. Evelynn let Ahri curl her tongue about her fingers, let her bite at the pads of them. She looked on, adoration shining in her eyes as she kissed her cheek. “Good girl,” she praised again, chuckling at the broken moan that was muffled behind Ahri’s closed lips.
She pulled her fingers free, leaving Ahri’s panting mouth and kissing the curve of her jaw. She pressed her fingers up and between Ahri’s thighs, her breath leaving her in a singular whoosh as she noticed just how wet Ahri was. She didn’t comment on it, just let loose a small, involuntary whimper as she ran her fingers along silken heat. Ahri’s whole body jerked at the first brush of Evelynn’s fingers against her clit. Evelynn couldn’t blame her. She’d have been snarling to be fucked at this point. She pressed her weight forward, pinning Ahri to the wall for when her knees inevitably gave out. She licked her lips, easing her fingers inside her girlfriend. There was no resistance at all – Ahri was worked up enough to take far more than her fingers, truth be told.
Ahri’s body melted as Evelynn worked her fingers in, her eyes rolling back in her head. Evelynn watched in fascination, adoration, and affection swelling in her chest. Her legs went a little wobbly and Evelynn laughed, tapping Ahri’s rear with her left hand. “Don’t fall over on me gumiho.”
Ahri just grunted in response, tilting her head back and exposing her throat. Evelynn ached to lean forward and bite it, but she knew she’d be in trouble later if she did. Now though, she was pretty sure Ahri would let her do anything she wanted. She compromised, leaning forward and pressing her lips to Ahri’s throat instead, a gentle, consistent pressure. She felt her swallow against her lips. Evelynn hummed to herself, thrusting her fingers once, testing.
Ahri shuddered and groaned, bearing down on the pressure. She smiled into the curve of Ahri’s throat. Good. Evelynn thrust again, curling her fingers to press against where she knew would make white-hot sparks dance down Ahri’s spine. She was rewarded with a cry, high and keening. Anyone walking by the bathroom would know for sure what they were doing, but Evelynn didn’t care. Caring about that shit was Ahri’s thing and Ahri was making the noise, so she wouldn’t be blamed for it.
She kept at it, the rhythm building naturally until Ahri started really slipping down the wall where she wasn’t supported. Her spine went jelly, her upper body sagging to the right. Evelynn paused, getting a truly scandalized cry in response as she gently pressed Ahri upright again. “Hold here,” she told her, taking the time to loop Ahri’s arms over her shoulders, “Don’t fall over.” She pressed her wet fingers into her own mouth, sucking the taste of Ahri off them with a delighted hum. Ahri watched, flushed and speechless, her mouth hanging open. Evelynn felt another dizzying rush of power.
She worked her fingers back inside, building the rhythm again and swallowing every groan and high keening cry Ahri graced her with. “Okay baby,” she murmured in her ear, “Go ahead. Touch yourself. Let’s make you stupid.”
A huff was all that Ahri could manage, but she shoved her right hand down between her legs, circling her clit while Evelynn curled her fingers just so inside her. Evelynn watched Ahri’s face screw up against the pleasure, watched tears flood her eyes. Her legs started to shake and a whine clawed its way from her chest. She hit her head against the wall, her hips jumping. It was a lot, Evelynn knew, that white-hot pressure. She felt the rush of fluid before Ahri made any noise. “Mm, there we go,” she praised.
Ahri whined high in her throat, the whine tapering off to guttural grunts as she chased the high she tilted her head forward resting against Evelynn’s shoulder as the rhythmic squeezing of her inner muscles eased. Evelynn remained silent, carefully easing Ahri’s left leg back down to the ground and brushing soft kisses across the lines of her shoulders.
“How we feeling?” she asked after a beat.
Hazy blue eyes peered up at her, Ahri bringing her right hand up to slap clumsily at Evelynn’s face. She was trying to be sweet, she was just too out of it still. Evelynn grinned, trapping her hand and pressing a kiss to the pads of her fingers.
It took her a few minutes, but Ahri eventually sighed against Evelynn’s shoulder, kissing the jut of her collar bone as she looked up, eyes clear once more. “Fucking hell, Eve.”
“You’re welcome,” she said, smug. “That praise kink always gets you.”
Ahri went bright red and slapped ineffectually at Evelynn’s chest. “Oh, shut up.”
***
Evelynn awoke with a start, something tugging at her side as she jerked in surprise. Blinking, she looked around an unfamiliar room, filled with unfamiliar beeping.
Her brows furrowed, and she tried to move her right hand to rub at exceedingly uncomfortable spots on her torso. She could move it, but she was attached to so many wires that she wondered if it was worth it. Hospital, she figured which – oh. Oh, that was bad.
Blinking blearily, Evelynn pressed the call nurse button, waiting impatiently until they showed up. The nurse was an older woman, kind-looking. “What happened?” she asked, impatient.
She explained – an overdose. Not surprising, considering the shit night and the need for the high. Evelynn was already itching for the next hit. Still though, this one was different. She’d nearly died, the uncomfortable spots on her torso burnt from a defibrillator. That woke her up in a big fucking way – bigger even than Ahri leaving her. She had to get her shit together. She had to. Otherwise, she was going to die. And though Evelynn knew her life wasn’t worth shit right now, she didn’t want to die. “Alright,” she said gruffly when the nurse was finished, “I think I need help.”
“You think?” the nurse replied dryly, getting a cold glare in response.
“I don’t have any money,” Evelynn mused, mostly to herself, drumming her fingers anxiously against her thigh, “A good rehab is out of the question. Fuck.”
She let her head fall back against the pillow. She couldn’t do this without help. She knew that. The pull of the drug was too strong this time, and she didn’t have Ahri anymore. That sent a harsh pang through her chest, followed by blind rage. Ahri left her. What was she supposed to do now? On instinct, she reached for her phone, sniffing back angry tears. She had to do something – work it out somehow. She needed to see how much money she had in her bank account. Even twenty bucks could get her something.
She keyed in her password, her eyes widening at the amount that was in there. There was no way she had that much in savings. She had a nasty idea of who had put it there but…fuck it. Evelynn wasn’t above a handout or charity right now. Maybe it was Ahri’s last fucking parting gift. ‘Here, have some heroin money!’
Evelynn pressed her mouth into a thin line, squeezing the phone so tight her knuckles turned white. Well – fuck her. She was going to get out of this. She was going to get out of this and get clean and prove Ahri wrong. If Evelynn held on to the anger, maybe she wouldn’t have to deal with the heartbreak. So yeah. Fuck Ahri. Taking a deep breath, wincing at the pull of the hospital gown against the burn of the shock, Evelynn looked the nurse in the face, turning her phone in her direction. “I need help,” she repeated.
She picked a rehab center as far away from Seoul as she could. South Africa seemed nice. If she was going to take Ahri’s bullshit charity money, then she was going to take Ahri’s bullshit charity money. She didn’t need to see Ahri’s face plastered everywhere during her recovery. She didn’t know how big K-Pop was in South Africa, but she was willing to bet it wasn’t as big and all-encompassing as it was in Seoul.
She shook her way through the first week, the withdrawal hitting her hard and fast. She sat wrapped in the rehab bed, sweating and crying as she hurled over the side. It was terrible. She hated Ahri all the more during it, almost as much as she hated herself. But she’d done it before. She had quit and gotten clean and she was going to do it again. For good this time. For herself as much as to spite Ahri and her bullshit.
It wasn’t easy, but Evelynn fucking did it. She survived on pure spite and stubbornness until she made heroin addiction her fucking bitch. Granted, she allowed, she was still in a controlled environment – there was no telling how she’d react once she was out. But she wasn’t going to do anything. She was clear-headed enough to know better now. The itch behind her eyes when she thought about it was still there, but she didn’t feel like she was going to die without it anymore. She accepted the thirty days clean chip with as much grace as she could, flipping it up and catching it in her palm.
She wasn’t considered ready to leave yet, though, and Evelynn didn’t blame them. She’d nearly fucking died, ended up in the ICU, had been dumped after a relationship spanning ten years. She had a problem and she needed to learn how to fucking handle it before she could be trusted to be outside a controlled environment. In short, she needed to get her fucking shit together. Still, though, Evelynn persisted. She accepted her sixty-day, then ninety-day clean chip. The rehab center let her leave. Gave her the okay to do so.
After three months, Evelynn actually felt ready to. The itch remained, it always would, but she could ignore it. Begrudgingly, she privately thanked Ahri and her bullshit handout money. Without it, Evelynn was pretty sure she would be dead. She got the best care available because her ex was as rich as she was. Whatever. Fuck her. She still left.
Evelynn left the rehab center, unsure where to head from here. She’d get an apartment in the city, she thought – still on Ahri’s coin, but not for long. She would find something to do and make her own fucking money. She didn’t need to be a charity case anymore. She was talented enough to make it on her own. The first thing she did was buy some new clothes and get her fucking hair cut. She felt more like herself once that was done.
She didn’t feel like a charity case anymore, and Evelynn stared down at her chips as she wandered blindly around the South African streets. Apartment shopping was next, and then, she supposed, wrinkling her nose, was job hunting. She needed some way to pay for her shit. Sighing, Evelynn went to tuck the chips in her pockets, obscenely proud of the otherwise useless pieces of plastic.
She ran into something solid, bouncing off and ending up scattered over the dusty pavement. The chips scattered around and Evelynn felt a surge of panic so strong it made her head spin. She groped blindly for them, fingers closing over one and clutching on to it like a lifeline.
“Oh! I’m so sorry!” a female voice spoke in English, accented as most of the people here were, “I didn’t see you!”
Evelynn scoffed, snarling as she looked around, snatching another of the chips and pressing them to her chest. “Oh, sure, right, like you just didn’t see –” Evelynn looked up and saw – legs. Oh, and more legs. And then even more legs. Then, abs. And then, oh good, pretty face. Very pretty face. Very pretty face holding her ninety-day chip with a furrowed brow as she looked down at her.
Oh.
Oh no.