Chapter Text
Lena was straining to concentrate all morning at work. It was her first day back and her mind was on Winnie. She was comforted by the fact that the nine-week old was just a few floors down at the company day care. By 10:30 she couldn’t take it anymore and she walked out of her office.
“Jess, I’m going to run down and check on Winnie,” Lena said, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
Jess gave her a big smile and a nod before replying, “Take your time with that adorable little bean!”
Lena took the elevator to the lobby and walked down the hall to the nursery. She used her key card to open the door and smiled widely as she spotted Kara in the corner. Kara was sitting in a rocker cradling Winnie in her arms. She looked up and blushed as Lena approached.
“Um… I couldn’t stand it,” Kara said, grinning.
“Me either,” Lena answered, leaning down and giving Kara a quick, chaste kiss. “I had to come see her and I figured she’d be getting hungry about now,” Lena said.
Kara sighed and stood and let Lena take her spot in the chair. Kara carefully passed Winnie to Lena then pulled over a small screen to shield the area. Lena opened her shirt and the flap on her nursing bra. Winnie’s head was already turned and her mouth open as she rooted for her meal. She latched on quickly and began sucking. Kara looked on with her heart full. She couldn’t get enough of watching Lena and Winnie together.
“Looks like she was ready,” Kara said with a smile.
“Yep, this little one sure enjoys mealtime,” Lena replied, gently stroking Winnie cheek.
“I mean, I can’t blame her,” Kara added with a wink.
Lena smirked at Kara and rolled her eyes.
“Be good, we’re at work,” Lena said, giggling.
Kara peeked back out at the nursery and noticed an employee come in. One of the toddlers called out “dada” and ran into his waiting arms. He hugged his son and chatted happily with one of the daycare workers. Kara smiled and looked back at Lena.
“I don’t think I realized what a great benefit it is to have a daycare on our campus,” Kara said to Lena, “even though I know Sam and Alex love having Jeremiah here.”
“We didn’t have this when Lex was in charge,” Lena said, “He thought it was entirely unnecessary. It was one of the first things I added. The employees love it.”
“I feel so much better about being at work knowing I can come down and check on her,” Kara said, rubbing Winnie’s back softly.
“And I can come feed Winnie rather than having to pump,” Lena answered.
“She certainly looks content,” Kara said, giggling as Winnie fell asleep attached to Lena’s breast.
Lena chuckled and gently pulled away. Kara took Winnie and deposited her into the crib marked with her name in the sleeping area while Lena adjusted her clothing. They walked back to the elevators together and pushed the buttons for their respective floors. Lena’s cell rang and she looked at it with an odd expression, noting that the call was from within the building.
“Hello,” Lena answered, then paused and listened, “Okay, Jess, tell her to wait there. I’m on my way back up now. Kara is with me.”
“What’s that about?” Kara asked as she noted the look of concern on Lena’s face.
“Sam came looking for me,” Lena said, “Jess has her waiting in my office. She said Sam looks upset and asked if she knew where you were as well.”
“Does she know why?” Kara asked.
“No, Jess wouldn’t pry,” Lena answered.
They hurried from the elevator into Lena’s office. Kara closed the door behind them as she looked up to see Sam pacing near the large windows.
“Sam, what’s going on?” Lena asked.
“I probably overreacting,” Sam said, the fear clear in her eyes, “But there’s been a shooting – a police officer. The news feed came up on my phone about an hour ago. They didn’t give any information on the news except that it was a NCPD officer in critical condition. I texted Alex and asked her to let me know she was okay. She hasn’t answered.”
“Where was the shooting?” Kara asked, the concern clear in her voice.
“On the eastern side of town, near the river,” Sam answered.
Kara breathed out a sigh of relief.
“Sam, that’s not where Alex works,” Kara replied, “That’s the eight precinct. She in the 22nd - uptown.”
“I know, but she could have gotten called out to another area. You know that happens,” Sam answered, her voice breaking, “And I’ve called and texted about 10 times. I asked her just to let me know she’s okay.”
“Sam, breathe,” Lena said, gently placing her hands on Sam’s shoulders and looking her in the eye. “You know Alex can’t always check her phone while she’s working. It drives you crazy all the time.”
Kara had already looked up a number on her cell phone and picked up the office phone and dialed. Sam and Lena glanced over as she spoke.
“Hi, I’m trying to reach Detective Alex Danvers, is she available?” Kara asked.
She was put on hold and waited.
“I’m an idiot,” Sam sighed out, “I didn’t even think about calling her precinct.”
“Yeah, well, she’s gonna be pissed I’m interrupting her,” Kara replied with an eye roll.
Kara heard the phone click and a familiar voice.
“This is Detective Danvers, can I help you?” Alex asked, her voice strong and her tone professional.
“Yeah, check your cell phone and let your wife know you’re okay,” Kara said snarkily.
“Kara?” Alex asked.
“Yeah, Sam is worried about you,” Kara said, “the news reported a shooting and she’s been trying to reach you.”
“Shit!” Alex said, “I’ll call her now.”
“Just hang on, she’s right here,” Kara said, handing the phone to a very relieved Sam.
Lena took Kara’s hand and gave her a thankful sigh.
“Alex?” Sam said, her voice catching.
“Sam, I’m sorry,” Alex said, “I’ve been in meetings all morning. I only just heard about the shooting and walked out of the meeting when I got paged for this call.”
“Okay, I just wanted to know you were safe,” Sam said, her voice still strained.
“Babe, I’m fine,” Alex said, “But I really need to go. It’s gonna be nuts today. The shooter got away and we’re trying to find him.”
“Okay, I’ll see you later,” Sam said, “I love you.”
“Love you too,” Alex said.
“Stay safe…,” Sam started. She stopped as she realized that Alex had already hung up. Her shoulders drooped and she breathed in a deep sigh. She felt Lena’s hand on her back and she turned and let Lena embrace her in a hug.
“I’m being ridiculous, I know,” Sam said, trying to shake off her emotions.
“Absolutely not,” Lena answered, hugging her tighter, “It’s okay to be concerned about your wife, Sam.”
“I worry about her too, Sam,” Kara said honestly, “I wanted to make sure she was safe.”
“Okay, so I wasn’t completely overreacting?” Sam asked, looking for reassurance from Kara.
“No, Sam,” Kara said, walking over and taking her turn to give Sam a hug, “I’m glad Alex has someone who cares about her like you do.”
“Okay, I feel much better,” Sam said, straightening up and taking a deep breath, “I guess I’ll get back to work.”
“Come back for lunch?” Lena asked, sensing that Sam could use the time together.
“I’d like that,” Sam said with a smile.
Sam walked out and Kara gave Lena a quick kiss before heading back to the lab.
****************************
Sam was still feeling tense that evening at home. Alex had texted that she would be late, and Sam was juggling trying to take care of a very needy toddler and getting dinner on the table for Ruby. Also, she hadn’t completely shaken the emotions that plagued her waiting to hear that Alex was okay earlier in the day.
They finished dinner and Sam was cleaning up when Alex finally arrived home. Jeremiah shakily stood from his spot and toddled toward Alex. She smiled and grabbed him into her arms. He happily settled with his head on her shoulder. Sam walked from the kitchen and plopped onto the couch.
“There’s a plate for you on the counter,” Sam said.
“Thanks,” Alex answered, dropping Jeremiah back next to his toys and taking off her jacket, “where’s Ruby?”
“Doing homework in her room,” Sam answered, “She had soccer practice today, so she’s not done yet.”
Alex nodded and went into the kitchen and stuck her plate in the microwave. She grabbed a beer from the refrigerator and collected her warm plate and went and sat at the table. She was surprised Sam hadn’t come to join her. She looked up to see Sam turn on the television and stay in her spot.
Sam fidgeted on the couch, unable to shake the turmoil roiling in her system. She wasn’t sure what she was feeling but she was definitely on edge. She avoided Alex, staying in the den while Alex ate. When she heard Alex place her plate in the dishwasher, she grabbed Jeremiah and took him for his bath. Once he was clean, she put him in his pajamas and sat in the rocker in his room. Alex walked in and looked at her, the confusion clear in her expression.
“I haven’t barely seen him today,” Alex said, “I thought you’d come back out to the den.”
“You can put him down if you want,” Sam answered, the tone in her voice flat. She stood and passed the baby to Alex and walked back out into the den.
Alex was completely befuddled as she took Jeremiah from Sam. She sat in the rocker and held him close and tried to enjoy the peacefulness of their quiet time together. Once his eyes got heavy, she placed him in his bed and quietly headed out to talk to Sam. She found Sam on the couch again and she sat down on the opposite end.
“Hey,” Alex said softly, using her foot to nudge Sam’s thigh.
When Sam looked over, Alex could see that she was fighting tears.
“Sam, what’s wrong?” Alex asked, moving closer.
Sam immediately stood and moved away from Alex, shaking her head.
“Alex, I can’t…,” Sam started, unable to find words to explain how she was feeling.
Alex stood, instinctively moving closer to Sam again.
“Hey, come here,” Alex requested softly.
Sam relented and let Alex pull her into her arms. They held each other tightly for a few minutes until Sam took a deep breath and pulled away. She moved back to the couch and they both sat again.
“I was really scared today,” Sam said, resolving to have a long overdue talk with Alex.
“Babe, I was never in any danger,” Alex said, “I wasn’t anywhere near the shooting.”
“Today you weren’t,” Sam answered, “Your job is dangerous.”
“Um, I’ve been a cop since you met me,” Alex said, unable to keep a bit of snarkiness from her reply, “I haven’t kept it secret.”
“We were in Midvale,” Sam said, “It was different. We’re in a big city now.”
“My dad died in Midvale,” Alex answered, growing irritated with the conversation.
“I know that, Alex,” Sam replied, her voice clearly displaying anger, “Do you think that makes this better?”
“Makes what better?” Alex asked, “I don’t even know what’s going on?”
“What’s going on is that I was terrified today,” Sam said, her voice rising as she stood again, “And maybe I’m overreacting but it’s how I feel… and I can’t seem to get over this nagging feeling – this fear. And I know you can’t always get to your phone and get right back to me but I’m still mad that it took so long to find out that you were okay!”
“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Alex answered defensively, “I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I want to be able to talk to you about this,” Sam said, her voice still rising, “But I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
“I’m a cop, Sam!” Alex said, her tone rising to meet Sam’s, “It’s who I was when you met me. It’s who I am!”
“It’s your job, Alex,” Sam said furiously, “It’s not who you are.”
“It’s more than a job to me!” Alex replied, clearly hurt and annoyed.
They both turned as Ruby’s door opened and she stormed out into the den.
“Mom, stop it, why are you doing this?” Ruby yelled at Sam.
“Ruby, go back to your room,” Sam answered sternly, “this has nothing to do with you.”
“What do you mean it has nothing to do with me?” Ruby yelled, “What if Alex leaves because of you?”
Sam and Alex were both shocked by Ruby’s outburst. They both took a moment to reply then began speaking at the same time.
“Ruby, that’s not…,” Alex started.
“Ruby, I said you need…” Sam began.
Ruby interrupted, staring Sam down, “You’re being such a bitch!”
Sam’s mouth opened in a startled gape. She looked at Ruby, completely astounded by what she said. Alex turned and squared her shoulders to Ruby, her rage clear.
“That is absolutely not okay, Ruby!” Alex shouted, sounding angrier than the teenager had ever heard her. “You will not talk to your mother that way in our house!”
Ruby stepped back, clearly surprised and cowed by Alex’s tone.
“You need to go back into your room right now,” Alex said, her volume lower but her tone still harsh, “We’re going to talk then we’ll deal with you.”
Ruby looked at Alex mournfully, still seemingly stuck in her spot.
“Now, Ruby!” Alex said tersely.
Ruby turned and stomped to her room, slamming the door shut. Immediately a wail erupted from Jeremiah’s room.
“Fuck,” Alex breathed out, trying to calm herself as she walked past Sam toward the child’s bedroom, “I’ve got him.”
Alex walked into Jeremiah’s room to find the toddler sitting up, still half asleep, on his bed. She gently laid him back down and rubbed his back softly. Luckily it only took a couple of minutes before he was sleeping soundly again. Alex stayed and watched Jeremiah sleep for a few minutes, providing herself a chance to calm down. She took a deep breath before walking back out into the den. She found Sam on the couch, her face in her hands, crying.
“Babe, come here,” Alex said softly, sitting next to her and holding out her arms.
Sam moved over and cuddled into Alex, wrapping her arms around her torso and holding her tightly. She took in a few gasping breaths as she gained control of her emotions. Alex rubbed her back softly and kept her close.
“I don’t know how that all escalated so badly,” Sam finally sighed out.
“Maybe it’s been just under the surface for a while now?” Alex asked, pulling back and looking at Sam.
“I guess it has,” Sam said, nodding.
“Talk to me, Sam,” Alex requested, looking into her wife’s eyes with a gentle gaze.
“Alex, I’ve always worried about you at work,” Sam said, “But I could handle it in Midvale. When we moved and you joined the NCPD I thought it would be fine. But now we’re here, and there’s much more going on. It’s so dangerous and no one seems to care about the cops. I know the force has it’s share of bad people and there have been real, serious problems – but I don’t like that you all get portrayed as the villains. I’m so afraid for you.”
“The world is a crazy place right now,” Alex answered softly, “I get it. But I can’t help fix things if I just give up.”
“I know, Alex, and that’s part of the reason I love you so much,” Sam answered, “You always want to help everyone, and you’re not afraid to put yourself on the line to do it. I guess I just need you to understand that’s it’s a lot for me sometimes. Today, I got really afraid.”
“Tell me what I can do to help make this better,” Alex said sincerely.
“That’s the problem, I don’t know,” Sam answered honestly, leaning back into Alex’s shoulder and snuggling close again.
“I don’t want to quit my job,” Alex said softly.
“I know,” Sam said, “And I’m not asking you to do that. I guess I needed to vent and get all of this out and I was afraid to talk to you about it.”
“We definitely need to get a hold of this before it becomes a bigger problem,” Alex said, looking at Sam intently, “We have to be able to talk to each other about how we feel.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t let it build so much,” Sam offered.
“And maybe I should acknowledge how hard it is to be a cop’s wife,” Alex sighed out. She looked at Sam, “And, Sam, I promise that if I hear any news that might worry you, I’ll do everything I can to get out the word that I’m okay – but you have to understand that sometimes I’m in the middle of stuff and I really can’t do it right away. It’s not that I don’t want to.”
Sam let out a sigh then gently ran her hand along Alex’s jaw and brought their lips together in a soft kiss.
“I love you so much, Alex,” Sam said softly.
“I love you too, Sam,” Alex answered.
“We have to deal with Ruby,” Sam huffed out.
They discussed what they would do then walked together to Ruby’s bedroom. They opened the door to find Ruby sitting on the bed on her phone. She looked at them both with an angry expression. Alex took a deep, calming breath before speaking.
“We have a couple of things to discuss,” Alex said, keeping her voice even, “Give me the phone.”
Ruby tossed the phone to the edge of the bed and Alex put it in her pocket. Sam sat down in Ruby’s chair and Alex sat on the end of the bed.
“First off, you need to understand something,” Alex said, “Married people disagree sometimes and fight. I’m sorry we got so loud that you overheard us, but it happens. It does not mean that I’m leaving this family. I love your Mom, Ruby, and I love you and Jeremiah. I will never leave. Do you understand?”
“Yeah,” Ruby answered quietly, her lip quivering as she brushed away a tear.
“You need to know that being a cop’s wife is crazy hard,” Alex said, “It takes a lot of sacrifice and it’s scary. Your mom loves me and supports me. It’s okay for her to get frustrated by the job sometimes.”
“But how will you guys stay married if she doesn’t want you to be a cop?” Ruby asked, clearly still worried.
“Ruby, I haven’t asked Alex to leave the force,” Sam said, “But even if that was what I wanted, we would find a way to make our marriage work. We are completely committed to one another. You don’t need to be afraid that we’ll split up.”
“Okay,” Ruby said, her voice sounding young and small.
“We also need to talk about how you spoke to your mother,” Alex said, her voice stern.
“I’m sorry,” Ruby answered immediately, looking sheepish.
“You should be,” Alex answered, not letting up, “How would you feel if I called ZaZa a bitch?”
Ruby looked at Alex, her expression shocked.
“Well, well… I don’t think you’d do that,” Ruby stuttered out.
“I would never do that, because it’s awful and I respect ZaZa too much,” Alex said firmly, “So why do you think it’s okay to talk to your mom that way?”
“I know it’s not okay,” Ruby answered, her voice going low again. She looked at Sam with tears filling her eyes, “I’m really, really sorry, Mom.”
Sam moved to the bed and took Ruby into her arms. The teenager let out a small sob and snuggled closer.
“Okay, baby, I accept your apology,” Sam said, soothingly rubbing Ruby’s back.
“I’m glad you realize you were wrong,” Alex said, her voice calm but still firm, “But that’s not enough, Ruby. Your mom and I talked, and we’ve decided that you’re grounded for the rest of this week and the weekend. You can go to school and soccer, but that’s it - nothing else – and no phone.”
Ruby looked like she might protest for a moment until she saw Alex’s serious expression. She sagged back into her mother and nodded.
“Okay,” Ruby said.
“You need to finish up your schoolwork and get to bed,” Sam said, kissing the top of Ruby’s head, “I think we’re all exhausted.”
“I will,” Ruby answered.
Sam and Alex both stood and started to walk from the room. Alex stopped and turned and looked at Ruby.
“Can I get a hug, kid?” Alex asked.
Ruby stood from the bed and quickly walked into Alex’s waiting arms. Alex held her tightly.
“I love you, Ruby, don’t ever forget that,” Alex said softly.
“I won’t,” Ruby answered, holding on tightly.