Chapter Text
Namjoon is five when he meets him for the first time.
He's wearing a yellow sweater with the 101 Dalmatians printed on it and he's standing next to his mother holding a plate of rice cakes out for Namjoon's mother to take. Namjoon learns his name is Yoongi and that he is his new neighbour. Namjoon decides there and then that he and Yoongi are best friends.
Even though Yoongi is bigger he always plays with Namjoon. When people are mean to Namjoon, Yoongi always protects him. Yoongi is my best friend in the whole world! He tells his mom when Yoongi's mom drops him home after playing.
Namjoon loves Yoongi.
~
Namjoon is ten when he decides he wants to marry Yoongi.
They're playing the new video game that Namjoon had to get all A's for his mom to buy it for him. Nothing has changed but Yoongi is nice to him, helps him a lot and makes him happy. His mom told him that when he grows up he would marry someone who makes him happy, he decides that that someone is Yoongi. He tells Yoongi that and Yoongi just looks at him funny before turning back to the game.
Namjoon loves Yoongi.
~
Namjoon is fifteen. A lot happens at fifteen.
Namjoon is fifteen when he has his first girlfriend.
He is still fifteen when he has his first heartbreak. Yoongi comes over and holds him while he cries all night long about the girl who he dated for two months, the girl who said he was too boring. You deserve better anyway, there's nothing wrong with you.
Namjoon is still fifteen when he tells Yoongi that he's not straight. He always knew that about himself but he didn't know the word for it until now. Didn't know there was a word for it until now. Yoongi is the first person he says it out loud to. 'You proposed to me when you were ten.' is all Yoongi says. Namjoon is happy in this moment.
Namjoon is fifteen when he gets a new girlfriend.
Namjoon is fifteen when he learns that Yoongi has a boyfriend. Want to go out with me and my boyfriend?
This is Yoongi's first real relationship , Yoongi's words. Namjoon is happy for him but there is an uneasiness in his chest that he can't explain.
Namjoon is fifteen when he and Yoongi have their first big fight.
Yoongi's boyfriend sucks but Yoongi is still with him. It's none of your business! You don't know anything about him!
I know you deserve better than that asshole!
Namjoon is fifteen when he thinks he's in love with Yoongi.
Namjoon is fifteen when him and Yoongi stop being friends.
~
Namjoon is sixteen when he meets Yoongi for the second time.
Yoongi is wearing his school uniform and he stands at Namjoon's door with a worn out look on his face. He's different now. Seems smaller than himself, almost. Hey.
Namjoon doesn't say anything. He lets Yoongi in and they sit on the couch. Namjoon is home alone. The silence lasts what seems like forever. Yoongi starts crying and Namjoon holds him.
Namjoon doesn't say anything.
He still loves him.
~
Namjoon is seventeen when Yoongi leaves for University without him.
Namjoon never tells Yoongi how he feels.
He thinks it when Yoongi's dad's car disappears around the corner.
I love you.
~
Namjoon is eighteen when he meets Yoongi for the third time.
He's wearing a black sweater and has a timid smile on his face.
He no longer seems to be carrying as much weight he carried the last three years Namjoon spent with him but he is noticeably lighter.
"I can't believe we're going to the same university." Yoongi smiles at Namjoon as he helps him unpack his things in his dorm.
"I know, its so cool." Namjoon smiles back.
Namjoon feels strange.
Yoongi is his best friend.
He loves Yoongi.
He feels like he doesn't know Yoongi anymore.
He wants to get to know Yoongi again.
~
Namjoon is nineteen.
He glares at Yoongi as the older is doubled over in laughter at Namjoon falling.
They are moving into an apartment together.
They are getting better.
Namjoon loves Yoongi..
~
Namjoon is nineteen when he meets him.