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It starts, as most things do for them, with someone complaining about the cold.
It's usually Yoongi, who feels cold even during summer, even when he's been laying under the covers for hours. Sometimes, it's Seokjin, who gets home later than Namjoon and Yoongi, whose hands are red and stale even under his gloves, because the cold winter air is unforgiving.
This time, it starts with Namjoon, who is on the ending stages of a cold, only a clogged nose and sore muscles left, and can't seem to get warm, his skin sensitive and always breaking out into goosebumps even if he's wearing one of Seokjin's fluffy, extra large sweaters and Yoongi's extra extra large long sleeve shirts.
He waddles out into the living room, where Seokjin and Yoongi are on the couch. Yoongi is sitting cross legged in a corner, his eyes closed and his head nodding forward because he's falling asleep, his fingers tangled in Seokjin's hair, who has his head in Yoongi's lap.
They look comfortable, and happy, and most importantly, they look warm, so Namjoon surpasses a sniffle and walks towards them, slowly trying to figure out where exactly he fits between them. It's a thought that hasn't crossed him in a while, not since they figured out how their relationship worked best, what all of them needed and wanted to be happy.
It does cross his mind today, but not for the bad reasons that always used to haunt him. He thinks about how he can maneuver Seokjin's legs to his lap without waking him up because he knows this is the season where the store is the busiest, and he sleeps as much as he can when he gets a rare day off. He thinks about how he can alert Yoongi that he's here without scaring him, because it's what always ends up happening when he gets accidentally woken up from a nap.
So Namjoon stares, and it seems to be enough because Yoongi opens his eyes slowly, looking at Namjoon up and down before realizing where he is, his face breaking out into a smile.
"Hi, Joon-ah," he says, and Namjoon doesn't know why it always makes him feel the same way, a little needy, a little small, a little like he needs to be touched immediately without knowing how to ask for it.
"Hey, hyung," he replies, his voice louder than Yoongi's had been, making Seokjin stir, without really waking up.
"You cold?" Yoongi asks, and Namjoon nods. He comes a little closer to the couch without trying to accommodate himself, and Yoongi gives him a small smile. "Come closer, Joon-ah, it's okay."
So Namjoon does, sitting down on the floor next to Yoongi, his head so close to Seokjin's he has to press a kiss to his half open mouth, stuck in a sleepy pout. The bags under his eyes are dark and sunken, and Namjoon's heart shrinks a little at the sight. He's been working extra shifts, hoping he'll be able to take Christmas eve and Christmas day off. He doesn't know if he'll be able to yet, but Namjoon has faith. It's their first Christmas as the three of them and not Yoongi and Namjoon plus Seokjin. This is something they all deserve, but Seokjin especially.
Namjoon rests his head on Yoongi's knee and lets his body sag when Yoongi starts caressing his head. It feels soothing and good, like everything is going to be okay. Yoongi clears his throat, and Namjoon looks up. He knows Yoongi has something to say. He has that look in his eyes that can't quite meet Namjoon's, his hands a little jittery.
Namjoon rests his chin on Yoongi's knee and gives him a reassuring smile. Yoongi takes a deep breath.
"I-" his voice is thick, shy, and Namjoon somehow knows where all of this is going. Maybe it's because he's used to reading Yoongi's mind after spending so long with him.
"Come on hyung, out with it," he says, teasing, and Yoongi rolls his eyes at him. He knows Namjoon knows, now, but it doesn't make him any less nervous.
"I want Seokjin hyung to move in," he whispers, and Namjoon's eyes fill with tears.
"Hyung," he says, and he feels like a raw nerve being poked with a needle. It's something they've been thinking about for a while, probably since they first managed to get together after talking instead of pining like the royal idiots they all are.
It's been getting progressively harder to see Seokjin go home after dinner when he has an early shift, or cancelling plans because he's too tired to make the commute all the way to their place just to go home to feed his new baby kitten, Hardy. Every time they go to sleep by themselves feels a little off, which isn't something Namjoon ever expected.
For years, whenever something went wrong or things were hard, being in bed with Yoongi always felt like happiness, like comfort. It doesn't anymore, not fully. As much as he loves Yoongi, as much as he knows Yoongi will always be enough for him, Seokjin is always missing.
Missing when Yoongi makes breakfast for three only to realize Seokjin isn't with them that day, or when Namjoon buys extra sushi from the place Seokjin likes and he can't make it home. Missing when Yoongi is online shopping and he puts a cat scratching post on his cart only to delete it at the last minute because there's no reason why they should buy it. Except maybe there is.
"I get it if you're not ready but I miss him all the time when he isn't here and-" Yoongi starts, his gaze stuck on the snow sticking to the window behind Namjoon, but Namjoon puts his hand over Yoongi's making him close his mouth.
"I really want Seokjin hyung to move in with us, Yoongi hyung," Namjoon replies quickly. "I want him to come home to us every day. Hyung, let's ask him to move in with us, please."
"Okay," Yoongi says, breathless, his eyes red rimmed but not watery enough to actually cry. Namjoon thinks he's just waiting for Seokjin to say yes before he actually cries. "Wow, okay. I need to- need to make dinner, or something. Or should we order in? Wait, it's monday, Sunation doesn't open today so I need to go buy ingredients."
Yoongi's voice gets more and more urgent, so Namjoon holds his hand again, brings it up to his lips to press a soft kiss to it.
"Hyung. We have time. There's a few weeks until Christmas. As long as we have him here with us by then, there's no need to worry. It doesn't have to be today." Yoongi shakes his head, makes a move to get up until he realizes Seokjin is still very much asleep in his lap. He's drooling a little bit now, and Namjoon is actually so endeared he wants to cry. Seokjin is going to live with them. Hopefully.
"No. Namjoon-ah, it has to be today. I- hyung mentioned something about his lease being up soon. We need to ask him today, to give him time to think about it or look up other places in case he doesn't want to move in here."
And of course. This is why Yoongi is this distressed, why he looks like he suddenly can't stay still. He actually thinks Seokjin is going to say no. It's funny, because it would usually be the other way around. Yoongi is the one who is always sure of things, always logical and smart about his decisions but always trusting his gut too. Namjoon is the over-thinker, the one who needs Yoongi's reassurance that things will work out.
But it seems that when it comes to Seokjin, Yoongi can't quite keep his mind straight. It's cute, mostly, to see his hyung so obviously in love, so worried about keeping Seokjin happy. Namjoon wonders, with a smile, if Yoongi was like this with him too. Somehow, he thinks he was.
"Hyung. Yoongi hyung," Namjoon says, kneeling instead of sitting so he can meet Yoongi's eyes. Yoongi's pupils are dilated, uneasy, and Namjoon leans in to peck him for a quick second before he keeps talking. "Everything is going to be okay. Hyung is going to say yes. He loves you, and he loves me."
That last thing he says with a little blush that creeps to the high of his cheeks. Yoongi smiles shyly, and nods.
"And if he says no, we'll be okay. Nothing has to change between us three, yeah?"
Yoongi sighs, melting a little into the mattress, and Namjoon leans in to kiss him, a little longer this time, their tongues brushing slowly.
"I'm going to buy the ingredients you need, alright? Text me the list, okay hyung? And then take a nap, I saw you falling asleep when I came in here," Namjoon says when he pulls away, and Yoongi lets out a little grumble that tells him he wants to listen but won't.
"You were just sick, Namjoon. I'm not gonna let you go out right now when it's snowing. I'll go," he says, and Namjoon tsks.
"And wake up Seokjin hyung? No," Namjoon says, standing up. Yoongi gives him a deathly look.
"Kim Namjoon, you walk out that door and I'm not taking care of you when you get sick again," Yoongi says, and Namjoon looks down, letting out a little giggle. He knows it isn't true, knows Yoongi will fuss over him and cook him all kinds of soups until Namjoon feels better again, but he decides to listen. It's better to let Yoongi do these kinds of things when he says he does. It's his way of asking for a moment to breathe and think on his own, to reassure himself that everything is going to work out.
He holds Seokjin's head gently as Yoongi slips out of the couch and he takes his place, letting Seokjin sleep on him while he scrolls mindlessly through instagram. He likes Taehyung's post, where he's sitting with Hoseok on a bench in what he knows is the centre of Seoul. He leaves a little comment to his brother, a string of emojis that wouldn't make sense to anyone else but that he knows Taehyung will understand.
He's happy for Taehyung. He knows them being outside like this- no need to wear a disguise, is something has been wanting since he finally became official with Seoul's hottest model and upcoming designer. Being a public couple well- Namjoon knows Taehyung can handle it. He is one of those people that is built for fame; no bullshit personality, thick skin, undeniable boyish charm. He and Hoseok will be just fine. Namjoon just hopes, with everything he has, that they'll be able to join them for Christmas in a home of three. Four, if they include baby Hardy.
Seokjin starts to wake up after a few minutes, and when he finally looks up, he quirks his mouth up when he sees Namjoon, his eyes glossy from sleep.
"I would've sworn I fell asleep on a much smaller, much paler thigh," he says, vice groggy, and Namjoon giggles, leaning down to kiss him and accidentally bumping their foreheads together. Seokjin laughs too, making a show out of pretending like he's going to get a bump on his forehead because of him.
"Where is Yoongi?" He asks, and Namjoon suddenly freezes. He doesn't know why, it's not like Yoongi is doing anything even remotely suspicious, but Seokjin is a curious guy. He likes asking questions, and Namjoon is a. A terrible liar and b. Terribly soft for the man in front of him, especially when his eyes are soft and his cheeks are puffy from sleep.
"He's just buying ingredients for dinner," he says and Seokjin looks out through the window, his eyebrows furrowing.
"In this weather? It's only going to get worse, what if he gets trapped at the store?" Seokjin asks, scrambling to sit up, his phone already dialing Yoongi's number.
"Hyung, it's okay," Namjoon says, trying not to get nervous himself. If Yoongi gets stuck at the store there's not going to be a nice dinner and there's not going to be a Yoongi and there's not going to be a move in with us proposal and Seokjin will move into a different apartment and-
"He's not answering," Seokjin says, frowning even more. Namjoon heartbeat quickens, his palms sweaty, but the second Seokjin hangs up the phone and tries to dial again, the front door unlocks, and Yoongi comes in through the door.
Namjoon can hear him cursing under his mask and his beanie, and when he takes it off along with his big snow boots, his nose is pink, just like his lips, and Namjoon loves him.
"Yoongi-yah!" Seokjin exclaims, and Yoongi drops his bags, sensing Seokjin isn't happy.
"Uh-oh," Yoongi says to his user, and Namjoon can't help but snort. Their eyes meet and Yoongi smiles with his eyes, something secretive in their eyes because Seokjin hasn't quite learned how to read them yet.
"What in hell possessed you to leave the house in this weather? You could've gotten stuck at the store! Or worse! In the street!" Seokjin exclaims, making big movements with his arms, and Yoongi passes the groceries to Namjoon, who sets them on the kitchen counter without really taking his eyes off of them.
Yoongi walks closer to Seokjin then, despite his yelling, and wraps his arms around Seokjin's neck, kissing him in the middle of his rant. Seokjin's ears go pink and he lets out a little noise. Just like that, Namjoon knows Yoongi's tongue brushed Seokjin's lips and went into his mouth. He always sounds so surprised when it happens, as if Yoongi doesn't kiss all the same.
They don't stop kissing for a few minutes, and Namjoon, not quite wanting to interrupt, just stares as he unpacks the ingredients, realizing that Yoongi is making aglio olio pasta, probably because he knows Namjoon wants to be included and this is the only dish he actually knows how to prepare. It warms Namjoon right up, no more trace of cold on his skin.
When Yoongi and Seokjin finally break apart, Yoongi fixes Seokjin with a pout that is more feigned innocence than anything else, and the three of them know it. But when Yoongi mumbles a soft "Sorry, hyungie, I'll be more careful next time," Seokjin isn't able to actually scold him. He's soft and fond as he tells Yoongi to never leave the house under that kind of weather again, and that's it.
Namjoon sighs, thinking this is something he might get to see every day if today goes right. When today goes right.
Yoongi sets the pot of water to boil it, and Namjoon starts mining the garlic, focused on doing it right and not chopping anyone's finger off. Seokjin looks at them, one of his eyebrows raised, and sighs.
"What are you two planning?" He asks, and Namjoon promptly catches the tip of his finger with the sharp edge of the knife. He yelps, and Yoongi and Seokjin are both next to him in an instant, Yoongi putting his finger into the cold water and Seokjin getting the cuts and scrapes ointment ready (there is one in every room in the house that could put Namjoon in harm's way. The kitchen. The bathrooms. The living room too, for good measure. The fact that Seokjin knows where they all are warms his heart. He already belongs here with them.)
"Hyung, I'll put it on, yeah?" Yoongi asks when Seokjin keeps staring at Namjoon's hand with a slightly scared look on his face. He hates blood. And there's currently a lot of it pouring out of Namjoon's finger. He really hopes he's not going to need stitches.
"Okay," Seokjin looks conflicted, and Namjoon gives him a smile, raising his chin with his non bloody hand.
"Hyung, I'm fine, I was just a little startled," he assures, and Seokjin grimaces.
"You sure?"
It's Yoongi that answers for him.
"He's fine. No stitches needed." He looks at Seokjin and smiles. "It's okay, we both know how Namjoon is." Namjoon gasps, mocks offense in his tone, and it serves to make Seokjin laugh.
"Alright, no more cooking for you, mister," Seokjin says, and Namjoon pouts at him before he pouts at Yoongi. They both sigh at the same time, and Namjoon grins, pleased with himself. He likes knowing he has this effect on both of them.
"Fine, you can pour us some wine, okay?" Yoongi says and Namjoon grins, kissing Yoongi. Yoongi accepts the kiss with a happy hum, and Namjoon wants to hug him suddenly. He really loves Yoongi when he gets this soft, looking small and cute, so determined to make everyone happy.
"How can I help?" Seokjin asks, and Yoongi freezes where he's marinating the steak they're going to have. He turns to look at Namjoon, who gives him a blank look, and Yoongi gulps.
"Let me?" Yoongi asks, and Seokjin tilts his head to the side. "Let me make dinner for you?"
Seokjin frowns now, looking at Namjoon, who is suddenly very interested in Yoongi's choice of wine.
"You want to make dinner," Seokjin deadpans, and Yoongi nods. "And Namjoon was helping you with dinner, but you don't want me to help."
Yoongi nods again, this time looking more nervous, and Seokjin farrows his eyes for a second.
"Okay," he says finally, and Yoongi looks at him.
"Okay?"
"Yeah, okay. You're definitely planning something, but that's okay. I'll let you surprise me, unless you're breaking up with me. In that case just get it over with," he says, and Namjoon drops his bottle opener, but the noise is muted by the cork.
"Hyung!" He exclaims, and Seokjin grins, clearly aware that they're not breaking up with him. "Don't even joke about that, jeez."
Seokjin comes closer, wrapping his hands around Namjoon's waist.
"Sorry, baby," he says before he kisses him, deep and slow. Namjoon hears Yoongi make a noise, like he wants to be kissed too but doesn't want to burn the stake, and it makes Namjoon giggle, but he only presses himself closer to Seokjin and kisses him until he's dizzy with it and the entire apartment smells like garlic.
Seokjin does help Yoongi serve the pasta and steak, even if Yoongi tries to complain, and they sit down at their tiny dining table, their knees all bumping together because it's made for two, but they don't mind. It's an excuse to be pressed together, and Namjoon, who struggles so much with wanting to be close all the time and not knowing how to ask for it, especially of Seokjin who is so new to Namjoon's silent questions, loves it.
They eat their dinner in silence, Namjoon scrambling to eat quickly while Yoongi only picks at his food, eating way too slowly, and Seokjin grins softly. Namjoon pretends not to notice that they're acting like nervous wrecks and Seokjin knows all about it. They have more pressing matters.
When Namjoon is done, he carries their plates- Yoongi's still half full- to the kitchen. When he comes back, Yoongi's second glass of wine is empty, and Namjoon wants to laugh hysterically. He doesn't remember the last time he was this nervous. Maybe when Yoongi held his hand for the first time.
"So," Seokjin says, still smiling. He looks at Namjoon and then at Yoongi. His eyes are shining. "What is the special occasion?" Yoongi pales, and Namjoon settles his foot gently on top of Yoongi's to comfort him. It's the next best thing to holding his hand.
"Well we wanted to ask you something, hyung," Namjoon says, trying to keep his voice stable like he does at work, and he suddenly feels Yoongi shaking his leg under the table.
"Move in with us," Yoongi spits, and Namjoon lets out a gasp.
"Hyung!" He whines, and Yoongi seems to realize how and what he just said, because his eyes widen, and he turns to look at Seokjin, his cheeks a furious pink.
"I mean. Do you- do you want to move in with us? Like um, right after you lease is over. Soon, yeah, before Christmas." Yoongi rants, and Namjoon blushes, embarrassed for him, but so, so endeared, he can't help but let out a little giggle, looking at Seokjin expectantly.
Except Seokjin's face falls, the smile he had on his face no longer in sight, and Namjoon's heart falls to the pit of his stomach.
He manages to look at Yoongi, and sees the way he shut his eyes when Seokjin gives them the answer Namjoon didn't think would come.
"No."
❆
Taehyung and Hoseok have been walking around downtown Seoul for a few hours before a weather alarm tells them to go inside because of the heavy snow. They take refuge in one of their favorite coffee shops that is coincidentally close to Hoseok's office, and they're lucky enough to catch a booth for themselves. Taehyung sets their shopping bags right beside him, eyeing them happily. He loves Christmas shopping, loves picking out presents for each one of the special people in his life, imagining the look they'll have on their face when they open it.
This year, he got Hoseok a variety of things. A new sewing machine for his home studio, because his other one broke and he's been putting off buying a new one, his mind always on something else. He got him a couples’ massage too, because Hoseok wears himself thin and he is always complaining about his sore back without him even realizing it. He'll get him more things, too. It's not a secret he likes spoiling him.
"What do you want, baby?" Hoseok asks him, and Taehyung gives him a big smile. Hoseok is wearing one of his pointy beanies, his ears out even if it is freezing cold outside, and Taehyung has half the mind to reply with a cheeky "you" before he decides against it. They can't afford to get riled up here if they're gonna be stuck for god knows how long. Taehyung is not having sex in a public bathroom ever again. Especially if he can't flee the crime scene.
"A hot chocolate please! Extra whipped cream," he says, and Hoseok grins at him, nodding. Taehyung watches him walk away, feeling warm and happy. Until he gets a text from his younger sister that reminds him of the dreadful conversation he needs to have with Hoseok.
Oppa, what are you and Hoseok oppa doing for Christmas? Is he taking you on a romantic getaway?
And it hurts, because no, Hoseok is not taking him on a romantic getaway. Not even close. Hoseok, apparently, wants to work on Christmas eve, and Christmas day.
Taehyung half gets it. Hoseok has been stressed about his first collection dropping. He wants to be taken seriously by his model peers, and even more by other senior designers that might not be too welcoming to a new face in the industry who isn't as knowledgeable on the world of fashion design as they are. Taehyung would understand too, if Hoseok didn't have a choice, but he owns his business. He can take two days off. At this pace, Taehyung won't have anyone to kiss when the clock marks 12 o'clock on January 1st.
But it's Christmas . It's their first Christmas since they've been out to the world as a couple, and Taehyung wants to celebrate. Ideally, he wants Hoseok to woo him away somewhere nice, flirt with him all night like they're still trying so hard to date in secret while the world's eyes are on them, kiss him under the mistletoe because Taehyung is a romantic. Realistically, Taehyung just wants them to spend the night together.
And Hoseok- beautiful, dumb, oblivious Hoseok- wants to work. Taehyung doesn't like the bad feeling that wells up in his stomach when he thinks about it.
Hoseok comes back with their drinks and a grin on his face that falls the second he sees Taehyung.
"Is everything okay?" He asks, and Taehyung looks at him, his eyes half glossy already.
"Hyung, please spend Christmas with me," he whispers, and Hoseok sits down quickly, putting Taehyung's drink in front of him, holding his hand in his. Like this, Hoseok's hand and wrist look small, and Taehyung envelops it, tries to hold on and not let Hoseok go.
"Why are you thinking about this now, huh?" Hoseok asks, not unkindly, and Taehyung lets out a shaky breath.
"I don't stop thinking about it, hyung," Taehyung replies dryly, and Hoseok takes his hand back a little bit, clearly shocked. Taehyung doesn't want to fight with him, but he feels the tension pouring out of him without being able to stop it.
"Tae-yah," Hoseok says, and Taehyung shakes his head.
"Why are you working on Christmas if we have the possibility to spend the night together?" He asks, and the dark, sticky feeling fills his entire chest and the pit of his stomach. "Is this about the new model that's working with you?
And there it is. The real reason Taehyung has been dreading this so much. Hoseok won't shut up about his new model. Hot, nice, funny, sweet, he says. He talks about him all the time, Taehyung feels like he knows him already, and he can't stand him. What does he have that Taehyung hasn't? That is making Hoseok want to spend Christmas with him and not with Taehyung, his boyfriend of two years? Is he already bored of Taehyung?
"Jimin?" Hoseok asks, and Taehyung scoffs. Of course. His name is pretty too.
"Is it because of what I said the other day? About me wanting you to tell me you love me more?" Taehyung asks, his voice much louder than he intended, and he looks around to see if anyone heard them. There's someone sitting at the other end of the cafe with a phone pointing in their direction, clearly trying to look like he isn't taking a picture of them. Taehyung shuts his eyes. Just what they were missing. Fucking paps snapping pictures of Taehyung's breakdown.
When he looks back at the table, Hoseok is staring at him with an angry look on his face.
"Is that what this is about?" He asks, and Taehyung swallows his tears.
"There's a paparazzi on the other side of the cafe, hyung. Smooth out your face," Taehyung replies, and ignores Hoseok's immediate reaction. He didn't try to reassure him.
"I don't give a fuck about the pap, Taehyung," Hoseok says, still looking mad, but he tries to take one of Taehyung's hands. Taehyung, though hurt, lets him. "This isn't that, Tae." His voice is kinder now, and Taehyung exhales. "You know I would never want something you don't want, just like I know you're the same for me. It's not a burden for me to bear. You wanting me to say ‘I love you’ more changes nothing about how much I love this relationship."
Taehyung thinks about that. He doesn’t know how much of that he should really believe. He has always admired Hoseok, has always wanted to be praised by him when he’s good, but does it really mean as much when it’s Taehyung who asks him to say it? Or is it meaningless, a task Hoseok has to fulfill just to keep Taehyung happy? The last thing Taehyung wants is to feel like being with him is a burden or a chore. And maybe it’s irrational, but what else is he supposed to think? Hoseok doesn’t want to spend Christmas with him, and is spending it with some model instead.
A model who probably doesn’t demand anything of Hoseok.
Taehyung's phone buzzes on the table, and he looks down to read the message his brother just left him.
Taetae! I don't know if you guys already have plans, but in case you don't, do you wanna spend Christmas with Yoongi hyung, Seokjin hyung and me? We'll make an alcohol free punch for you and Hoseok-ah!
His eyes well up, and he looks back at Hoseok.
"Is that really true?" Hoseok nods, and Taehyung ignores the way his heart feels like it's breaking. "Then why is that model the only one working at your office on Christmas eve in your office besides you, hyung? Your secretary told me accidentally."
Hoseok doesn't reply right away, and Taehyung pulls his hand away from Hoseok's.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. I'll stay with Namjoon hyung from tomorrow," he says, and hopes his brother will take him in without asking too many questions.
❆
"Jungkookie," Jimin's sweet voice sings in Jungkook's ear, trying to wake him up. He's been jet lagged for what feels like years ever since they landed in Korea, and his sleeping schedule has been backwards (or straight? Jungkook doesn't even know anymore).
"Mm, five more minutes," Jungkook whines, and he hears Jimin giggle, that is not entirely innocent. Jimin has been asking Jungkook to wake up early so he can show him around the city while there's not too many people outside- it's just ideal thinking, and Jungkook knows it all too well. Jimin is not that keen on waking up early either.
"Baby, come on," Jimin says, in Korean this time, and a dark feeling settles deep into the pit of Jungkook's stomach. That's been the hardest part about moving here from California, his home. He was born in Busan but his parents moved to the outsides of LA when he was barely a few months old. They never really insisted on him knowing the language; they were more worried about Jungkook fitting in with the american kids and ensuring he would have a good, successful life in the country they had settled in.
Back then, when Jungkook was a kid, he didn't mind much. He was happy, and he didn't care that he understood very little of the conversations his parents had with his grandparents that were still living in Korea back then. Plus, his parents insisted on Jungkook's brother and him to talk to them in English. They needed to improve as quickly as possible to get better paying jobs and buy them everything they needed, so Jungkook did what they asked. It was the little things he learned from when his parents replied to them in Korean. And then, he met Jimin.
Jimin, who was fully Korean in a way Jungkook didn't relate to, who insisted on Jungkook calling him hyung when Jungkook didn't even call his older brother that. Jimin, who he fell in love with without even trying. They spent two years together in the States when Jungkook was freshly graduated from college and had gotten a job at a local design company. And it had been good- Jimin taught him more Korean, explained some expressions and filled in some gaps that Jungkook couldn't quite figure out himself- but Jungkook could see in Jimin's eyes how tired he was of living there.
There's something distinct about living in California- maybe the States in general, but Jungkook hasn't really lived anywhere else so he can't really tell- where things are so pristine, in a way. Jungkook could see just how hard it was on Jimin, to drive down the streets of LA and think about how many people have been here in just one day, to go to Korea town just to find a drop of his culture, of a place that could feel and sound and taste like home.
So Jungkook asked Jimin to move to Korea with him, figuring his Korean was good enough to get a job there and acquire enough practice. Jimin said yes, and asked Jungkook to marry him in return just before they left.
Jungkook, tears in his eyes and honey oozing out of his heart said yes, but things hadn't exactly worked out the way they planned. The paperwork was about to me a nightmare if they got legally married in the States and wanted to move to Korea right after, so they decided to just move and have a symbolic ceremony over there, with their friends and the members of their family who wanted to attend- even if there’s not too many of those. One problem solved.
The other problem, one Jungkook wasn't expecting, maybe out of foolish pride or sheer naiveness, is that Jungkook's Korean is actually not that good. Not good at all, really. He stumbles his words out without being able to enunciate, his accent thick, his grammar botched for the most part.
He wouldn't mind, if he was visiting, or if he was attempting to speak a language he doesn't really know when he's ordering food in a foreign country, but this isn't a foreign country. It isn't supposed to be, at least. Jungkook was born here, near the sea on an autumn night, and he can't communicate that. He gets nervous, every time someone asks him something and he has to conjure up a reply in his head without having enough time to figure out if it's correct. Does he not belong here, then? Like he didn't belong in the States?
It makes him feel stupid, useless, like a burden Jimin is going to have to carry because Jungkook is not going to get job any time soon. So when Jimin wakes him up in that voice of his Jungkook loves so much, his accent thick on purpose as he leans into their frameless mattress, well. Tears spring to Jungkook's eyes and he can't really stop them, trying to wipe them with the sheets hoping Jimin won't notice. He does. Jimin notices everything about Jungkook.
"What's wrong?" Jimin asks in Korean, his words thick with worry. "Baby, what's wrong, huh? Are you hurting?"
Jungkook resists the urge to scoff. Jimin doesn't know how much he's hurting. Except he does, and Jungkook is being selfish. Jimin struggled with the same thing when he moved to the States to finish his last year of university there, and he didn't have a Jungkook, a fiancé, who would support him through it.
"Jimin," Jungkook says, avoiding the honorific on purpose even if he knows it will make him frown. "Can we please speak in English today?" He asks then, his hand gripping the covers tightly. Their apartment is cold at this time of year even with their heating on because it's not even half furnished, and Jungkook wants to stay under the covers all day, making out lazily, not speaking in any language.
"Jungkook-ah," Jimin replies, stern. Jungkook huffs. He knows this is a lost fight, really. "You said you wanted to practice more?"
"Yeah! I do, but I'm tired! Don't you get it? I don't understand half of what you're saying! And it's exhausting . You expect me to meet your family by the end of the month? I'm pathetic, Jimin, I can't even speak my own language!"
Jungkook finally sits up in bed, looking at Jimin, and sees him get sit on the edge of the bed, planting his feet on the floor despite how cold it must be. Jungkook, despite all of it, wants to tell him to put his feet under the covers, maybe even under Jungkook's legs so he can warm them up. Warm Jimin is a happy Jimin.
"You're not pathetic," Jimin says, his voice as hurt as Jungkook feels. "You just have to try a little harder."
Jungkook looks at him, incredulous. His mouth gapes, and he feels his veins fill with red hot anger. Helpless tears spring to his eyes, and he looks at his engagement ring that Jimin saved up for almost an entire year before he could buy it for Jungkook.
"Try a little harder," Jungkook repeats dumbly, thinking of the three different language apps he has on his phone, the language course he's been eyeing but hasn't bought because it's too expensive and he's embarrassed it will be filled with actual foreigners and him, the million times he has asked his parents to teach him the best way to introduce himself to Jimin's parents because he keeps forgetting. Try a little harder .
A bitter laugh leaves him before he can even think about keeping it in, and he stands up, zipping up his jacket and throwing on the beanie he sees first. It's bright yellow. Hideous on him, beautiful on Jimin. Like most things.
"I'm gonna go for a walk," he says, and doesn't look at Jimin's hurt expression before he shoves his boots on by the door and shuts it loudly on his way out.
❆
No. No? Seokjin said no?
Yoongi looks up at Namjoon, his eyes wide with panic, but Namjoon isn't looking at him. He's staring right at Seokjin, his mouth half open.
Seokjin makes a noise in the back of his throat, distressed, so Yoongi looks at him too, even if his heart is breaking.
"No- I mean," he says and then stops. "I wanted to ask you."
Yoongi stares at him, the words not really registering until Namjoon shifts in his seat, bumping his leg against Yoongi's to get him to react.
"Wait, what?" Yoongi asks, his body not completely recovered from his shut down.
"I wanted to ask you?" Seokjin says, sounding more nervous this time. Yoongi blinks, looking back at Namjoon, who has tears in his eyes. Yoongi's eyes water too just seeing him. "Huh?" Seokjin asks, looking between and sitting up.
Yoongi sniffles into his sleeve, and Namjoon starts crying harder. It's pretty ridiculous, if Yoongi thinks about it, but he doesn't, because his boyfriend just gave him the scare of his life and his other boyfriend is crying about it.
"Wait no, don't cry," Seokjin says, trying to laugh to ease the tension, but it falls short. "Sit with me on the couch? Please?" He asks, and Namjoon nods, standing up, so Yoongi does too.
They sit on either side of Seokjin, and Namjoon’s back is straighter than Yoongi has ever seen it, his hands gripping his thighs harshly. If he keeps Yoongi knows he’ll have nail marks by the end of the night. Seokjin seems to notice too, and they both know Namjoon is bad at initiating affection when he’s stressed or self conscious, so he pries Namjoon’s hand away from his lap gently, tangling their fingers together.
“Joon-ah,” Seokjin says, and Namjoon seems to only snap out of it then, looking at Seokjin with wide eyes. Yoongi wants to kiss him. “Sorry for scaring you, I didn’t think before speaking.”
And Yoongi tilts his head at that, because it’s very rare that Seokjin doesn't think his words over carefully before he says them.
“I just wanted to ask you, but I kept putting it off because I was nervous,” Seokjin adds, his neck and ears going red. Yoongi pecks one of his ears and then bites it, just to watch him sputter. What can he say? Seokjin can be really cute when he struggles.
“Hyung, did you think we were going to say no?” Yoongi asks, and Seokjin shrugs. Yoongi’s eyes widen when the realization hits him. “You did. Hyung-”
“I was going to offer something different. I want us all to move into a new apartment, for um, all of us,” he says, and Yoongi leans his back on the couch, grabbing Seokjin’s fingers and playing with them as he talks. He knows it makes Seokjin less nervous, to receive affectionate touches like these when they’re having serious conversations. This might be one of the most serious conversations they’ve had.
“A new apartment?” Namjoon asks, his voice more sure now, just curiosity in his voice, and Seokjin nods.
“I like this place a lot,” he starts, and then sighs, leaning on the couch too. His hands are clammy, Yoongi notices, so he rubs the back of it with his thumb, trying to be as soothing as he possibly can. “But it’s- filled with you?”
Yoongi hears the way Namjoon’s breath catches in his throat, and he looks to his side, meeting his eyes over Seokjin. They both know what he means.
“Not that that’s a bad thing!” Seokjin bursts out suddenly. “It just makes me feel a little bit like I’m-”
“Extra,” Yoongi finishes for him, and Seokjin only nods, his gaze stuck to his lap.
“Hyung,” Namjoon says, his voice small, and both Yoongi and Seokjin turn around to look at him. “You could never be extra. Yoongi hyung and I were missing you, right from the beginning.”
“Joon-ah, you don’t have to,” Seokjin says, sounding almost like he’s on the verge of tears himself, and Yoongi presses himself closer to him until there’s no space between them, settling his head right on top of Seokjin’s shoulder.
“It’s true,” Yoongi says. “We really did need you.” Yoongi doesn’t say anything else, but it’s understood. Namjoon and he were going through hard times, right before they met Seokjin. Having him, loving him, makes them all better, makes their relationship work.
Seokjin stares straight ahead, almost like he doesn't know what to do now, so Yoongi sits up, not pulling away too much.
“We love you,” he says, and a full-body shiver goes through Seokjin. Namjoon nods, Yoongi can see it out of the corner of his eye, and presses a quick kiss to Seokjin’s cheek.
“Love you, hyungie,” he whispers, and Yoongi smiles, fond.
“And we want you to live with us,” Yoongi continues. “Hopefully by Christmas. We know it’s just a week away, and I get what you mean about this apartment. But if- if you want, we can stay here? All three of us? Just for a little while until our lease is over, and we can look for a new place that we all like, that is new to all of us.”
Seokjin turns around to look at him, his eyes glossy, and Yoongi doesn’t hesitate before he kisses him, deep and slow, enjoying the taste of Seokjin’s lips. Namjoon makes a noise and kisses Seokjin’s neck, overwhelmed, until Yoongi pulls away.
Seokjin looks like he’s in a daze, his eyes hooded and his lips shiny with spit. Yoongi kisses him again, for good measure. Namjoon grabs Seokjin’s chin in his hand, tilting it so their lips can meet, and Yoongi sits back. He enjoys watching Namjoon and Seokjin more than he enjoys most things about sex, and today is no exception.
He looks at them kiss, sees the way Namjoon is getting more desperate for Seokjin’s touch, his hips almost completely lifted from the couch in an attempt to get closer. Seokjin laughs into his mouth and then pulls away, looking at Yoongi, asking for direction. Yoongi likes it when they both get like this, needy but eager to make Yoongi happy before anything else.
He purses his lips, pretending to think, and tries to hide the amusement in his voice when Namjoon reacts to what he says.
“You wanna suck our hyung’s cock, Joon-ah?” He asks, all feigned innocence, and Namjoon whimpers, nods. His eyes are shut, like they usually are when he’s too overwhelmed, and Yoongi makes eye contact with Seokjin for a second. He looks overwhelmed too, his mouth half parted, but they both smile. Namjoon is cute when he gets like this.
“Come here,” Seokjin says, dragging Yoongi into a kiss. “You good?”
Yoongi nods, happy and fuzzy, folding his legs so he can sit up a bit more.
“I’m good, hyung, let Joonie suck you off, yeah?” He asks, and Seokjin nods, letting Namjoon unzip his pants and take his already hard dick out, immediately licking the tip. He doesn’t take his time, too riled up for that, and focuses on the tip of Seokjin’s cock, always more sensitive than the rest of him.
It doesn’t take long for Seokjin to come, and Yoongi doesn’t know if it’s because it’s been such an emotional day for all for them, but neither of them seem to care either, Seokjin with his head laid back on the couch, Namjoon making soft noises as he helps Seokjin come down from it.
When he sits up, Yoongi can see the tear tracks on his cheeks and he moves closer to Namjoon until he can’t keep it in any longer and he sits on their laps, one leg over Seokjin’s and one over Namjoon’s. His lips crash into Namjoon’s with a sigh from both of them, and Namjoon moans when Yoongi moves his hands to his chest, squeezing.
“Come on, Joonie, get off like this,” Seokjin whispers and Yoongi nods, eager to see Namjoon come undone under him.
“Can I- can I touch, Yoongi hyung?” Namjoon asks, looking fucked out, and Yoongi nods, moving completely on top of Namjoon’s lap so Namjoon can grab his ass, groaning. Namjoon likes to do that a lot, and while Yoongi doesn’t entirely see the appeal, he likes the way Namjoon’s hands feel on him, making him feel so small.
Seokjin jerks Namjoon off like that, while Yoongi licks into his mouth and swallows his whimpers, and it’s good. It’s great. Yoongi wouldn’t change this for anything else, wouldn’t want it with anyone that isn’t them. His big boyfriend and his even bigger boyfriend, that take better care of him than anyone could.
“Not today,” Yoongi says when Namjoon looks at Yoongi’s crotch and then back at him, a question on his face. Namjoon nods, easy, and Seokjin presses a kiss to his cheek. Yoongi lets them both get changed, and by the time they come back, he’s no longer hard but still fuzzy and warm, satisfied, as Namjoon and Seokjin settle next to him, throwing a blanket over them.
Seokjin turns on a Christmas movie he likes, and even if Namjoon and Yoongi both hate it- “it’s the glorification of capitalism!” they said when Seokjin first admitted that he loved it- they both watch it with smiles on their faces, because Seokjin knows all the dialogue and likes changing his tone of voice for every character he imitates.
Yoongi thinks about how this is going to be his life from now on. Seokjin will wake up with them, sit on a couch that belongs to all of them to watch his dramas and Namjoon and Yoongi will join him. They’ll get to have dinner together, and breakfast too, and their mailbox will have three names instead of two. It can’t get any better than this.
Yoongi lets his eyes drift to the window, snow falling outside, and he sighs. He’s happy.
His phone rings, and he considers not picking up, until he realizes he has three texts from Jungkook and now he’s calling him. He sits up, asking Seokjin to pause the movie.
“It’s my cousin, sorry, I have to take this,” he says, motioning to stand up when Seokjin takes his wrist.
“You can stay, we don’t mind waiting,” he says, and Yoongi nods, pressing the green button on the screen.
“Kookie?” He asks, and hears sniffling. He frowns. “Jungkookie? Is everything okay?”
Jungkook sniffles again on the other side of the line, but doesn’t say anything.
“Where are you? Please tell me you’re not outside,” Yoongi says, more urgently.
“I’m outside my building,” he replies, his voice thick with tears, and Yoongi lets out a silent breath of relief.
“Good, please go inside and get warm, yeah? It’s not safe to be out right now,” Yoongi says, and Jungkook cries a little louder.
“I can’t,” he whispers, and Yoongi tilts his head.
“Why not? Did you forget your code? It’s your anniversary, Jungkook-ah.”
“That’s not it. I just- I had a fight with Jimin hyung,” he says, and Yoongi sits back on the couch. Namjoon and Seokjin look at him, confused, but he waves them off to let them know everything is okay. He hopes it is, at least.
“What happened?”
“I- I’m struggling so much, hyung,” Jungkook says, his voice broken. Yoongi wants to hug him, ruffle his hair, reassure him. Jungkook has always been family to him. Their mothers are close friends, and even if they’re not related by blood, Yoongi has always called Jungkook his cousin. Not even growing up in different countries could push them apart. Yoongi studied English hard to become fluent so they could speak.
“Shh, tell hyung what’s wrong. But go into the lobby first, yeah? It’s not safe to be in the snow. I don’t want you to get sick.”
Jungkook lets out a noise that means he’s going to listen, and Yoongi hears him shuffling around, the line quieting down now that he’s not standing in the wind.
“That’s it, that’s good, Jungkook-ah,” Yoongi says, and Seokjin leans down, resting his head in Yoongi’s lap. Namjoon settles into him too, and it’s like having a weighted blanket but better, warmer, filled with love.
“Korean is so hard,” Jungkook cries, and Yoongi winces, sympathetic. He knew it wouldn’t be easy for Jungkook to move here, but he didn’t think it would be this bad. “I’m never going to get a job like this, and Jimin hyung’s family will hate me because I’m a fake Korean, and Jimin hyung is going to get tired of carrying my weight around and I can’t afford the lessons hyung, they're so expensive.”
“Okay, okay,” Yoongi tries to sooth him as Jungkook cries, his voice as gentle as he can make it. “First of all, you’re not a fake Korean, Jungkookie. You were born here, your parents are from here. This is your culture, too, and I know it’s hard, but this is still a part of who you are. It’s not fake, even if you grew up somewhere else. Even if you were born in the States, this is still a part of you. I promise you that. Okay?”
Jungkook hums in affirmation, so Yoongi continues.
“Jimin is not going to leave you for this. He asked you to marry him, didn’t he? Why would this scare him away all of a sudden?”
“I just don’t want to be an inconvenience,” Jungkook mutters, and Yoongi sighs.
“You know, Jungkook-ah, part of being in a relationship is to lean on each other when the other needs help. That doesn’t make you a bad person, or an inconvenience. Jimin loves you, and wants to take care of you. Why don’t you let him, huh?” Yoongi asks, and Jungkook huffs, making him smile. Sometimes, Jungkook likes being stubborn for no reason.
“I guess you have a point,” Jungkook mumbles, and Yoongi hums.
“I don’t want you to think that you can’t struggle. It’s okay if you think it’s hard, but I just want you to remember that you aren’t alone in this. And speaking of taking care of you, let hyung pay for half of your lessons, okay?”
Jungkook gasps, wet and soft.
“Hyung, no I can’t- can’t let you do that,” he scrambles to say, so quickly Yoongi almost doesn’t catch it. “It’s so much and you have your own expenses.”
“Jungkook-ah, I’ve been waiting for you to come visit so I could spoil you. Now that you live here you don’t really have a choice but let me,” Yoongi says, almost proud, and Seokjin snorts, letting out a quiet “you’re so soft”. Yoongi almost giggles. Seokjin isn’t wrong.
“Thank you,” Jungkook says, in Korean, his voice broken again.
“Hey, Jungkookie, no more crying,” Yoongi coos, and Jungkook sniffs, trying to stop.
“Okay. Okay, hyung, thank you again,” he says, and Yoongi hums.
“Go home, Jungkook-ah. Get warm, talk to Jimin.”
“I will, I will. Thank you for answering.”
“No more apologies. Just- come over for Christmas dinner, if you guys don’t have any plans. I want to meet Jimin, I want you to meet Namjoon-ah and Seokjin hyung.”
“Really?” Jungkook squeaks out, and Yoongi nods, his mouth quirking up into a big gummy smile.
“Yeah, really. Take care, will you?”
“Yes! Say hi to the hyungs, and thank you. Again. I’m so grateful. Love you, Yoongi hyung,” Jungkook rambles, and Yoongi presses a hand to his sternum to keep himself from cooing out loud.
“Love you too. Jungkook-ah.”
When he hangs up, Namjoon and Seokjin both laugh.
“Your love language seriously is acts of service, huh?” Seokjin asks, and Yoongi flushes.
“Says you,” he bites back, and Seokjin nips his thigh in retaliation. Yoongi yelps when he feels it, a laugh startling out of him.
“Your English voice is so sexy, hyung, you should let us hear it more often,” Namjoon says, teasing him even more, and Yoongi hides his face in his hands, hot to the touch from how much he’s blushing.
“You’re so cute, Yoongichi,” Seokjin whispers, and Yoongi leans down to kiss him until he pulls away to kiss Namjoon, letting himself get lost in their warmth. He couldn’t be more thankful for both of them.
❆
"Wait, wait, Tae," Hoseok says, grabbing Taehyung's waist, not really pulling. He's asking him to stay. Not with so many words, because that's just who he is, but he's asking.
Taehyung sits back down, trying to keep his face as straight as possible, and Hoseok sighs, pulling out his phone and scrolling for a second until he turns it around, showing it to Taehyung.
"This is Jimin," Hoseok says, his voice soft. He looks at Taehyung observing the phone, his features pinching painfully for a quick second. He understands, Jimin is beautiful. But he doesn't want Taehyung to be jealous, he wants him to understand, so Hoseok is quick to move something on his phone, swiping to show Taehyung another picture. "And this is Jimin's fiancé, Jungkook."
Taehyung swallows, shutting his eyes. His skin burns with embarrassment. Hoseok wants to move his hand and place it on top of Taehyung, just to make him feel better. He doesn't know why he doesn't.
"Fiancé?" He asks, and Hoseok hums in affirmation.
"They've been together for a few years, but they only moved to Korea a few weeks ago. Jungkook is Korean-American, and Jimin tells me he's been struggling a bit with the language." Hoseok looks almost sad now that he's looking at Taehyung. Afraid, that Taehyung might still walk away from him.
"I still don't get it, why do you want to work on Christmas? Shouldn't you be letting them be together that day?" Taehyung asks, and Hoseok blushes, the kind of red that is tinted with shame, that Taehyung knows all too well. Hoseok knows he looks like this more often than not when he's so flustered.
"I-" Hoseok says, and then stops. He doesn't know how to tell Taehyung this without him thinking it's his fault. He doesn't even know what words he could use. This is not his strong suit. "I really don't like Christmas," he sighs out, and by the look on Taehyung's face, he immediately knows those weren't the right words to say.
"You- don't like Christmas?" Taehyung repeats, looking more confused than ever, almost angry because Hoseok knows he doesn't understand. They've been together for a while, have spent two Christmases together already, and Hoseok is only now telling him, or trying to, at least, that he doesn't like celebrating.
"Okay, it's not that radical- I just," he takes a deep breath. "Taehyungie, can you sit on this side of the table, please?" He asks, moving to the corner of the both so Taehyung will fit. Even if he looks confused, his boyfriend listens, moving next to Hoseok and offering his hand to hold in case Hoseok wants it. And of course Hoseok wants it, this is how he has always managed to feel safe. Even during their most difficult conversations, their hands clasped together are what makes him feel like everything will turn out right.
"Hyung, talk to me," Taehyung says, and Hoseok knows it's as much a reminder as it is a plea, for Hoseok to try because Taehyung needs to understand.
"You know how Christmas is all about y´know, couples. Being in love, spending time with your one true love and all that stuff. I don't like how that makes me feel," Hoseok says, and sags. It feels so good to have put it out there. The thoughts have been consuming him for what feels like years now. "The last two Chirstmases were different," he adds, and sees Taehyung light up a little bit.
He turns to look at him, making an effort to meet his eyes even if it's not the easiest thing in the world for him, and sees the way Taehyung tears up. Hoseok thinks, every day, that it's so easy to be good to Taehyung. It's so easy to try for him, because Taehyung will always try for him too.
"We spent them together, at home. It was new for me, but I felt safe," Hoseok says. "But this year, we're out," he explains, and sees the way realization dawns on Taehyung's face.
"Everyone knows," Taehyung mumbles, and Hoseok nods. He stops the tears that threaten to spring in his eyes. It's not time for him to cry now.
"Everyone knows, Tae. Everyone expects- I don't know what they expect. A big gesture from my part? Declarations of love for everyone to see? Taehyung-ah, that isn't me. You know it isn't."
Taehyung moves closer to Hoseok, so they're pressed together, and Hoseok sighs out, feeling a little better because Taehyung doesn't look angry anymore. He just looks sad, understanding, eager to comfort Hoseok like he tends to do.
"Hyung," Taehyung mumbles, wrapping his arm around Hoseok's waist, kissing his jaw gently. Hoseok smiles even if Taehyung can't see it.
"It's always been a lot of pressure, Christmas," Hoseok continues. Now that he started talking about it he can't seem to stop. "It's such a romantic holiday here, and I always felt like I couldn't be a part of that. You came along and everything was different. You didn't mind that I was aro, that I was never going to love you like that, even if maybe you would, at some point.
"I do," Taehyung says, his voice soft. "I love you."
"And I love you," Hoseok replies, his eyes teary. "But I got scared, this year. I didn't know what to do, how to face everyone's expectations. I'm sorry, Taehyung-ah, I should've just told you."
"Ah, hyung," Taehyung mumbles, resting his head on Hoseok's shoulder. "I understand you more than you think. I know you're not good at- talking about this, but I feel you. And I want you to know that you don't need to do anything differently. Lets go to my brother's place for dinner, yeah? It'll be low key, we can even say we're taking a break from social media."
"Tae," Hoseok says, his heart in his hands, so grateful for the person that he is, so lucky that he has found him. "You don't need to sacrifice a crazy romantic holiday for me."
Taehyung lifts his head, looking at Hoseok.
"I'm not- I'm not sacrificing anything, hyung," Taehyung says, serious. "I just want to spend Christmas with you, I don't care how. I want to see my brother too," be adds, a big smile on his face. Hoseok leans down and kisses him, too deep and slow for where they are, but neither of them seem to care.
They both know the paparazzi on the other side of the cafe is probably taking pictures of them, and Taehyung turns around to stare at him. Hoseok can't see his face, but he guesses Taehyung looks way too intimidating, because the paparazzi bows and puts his phone away.
Hoseok laughs, carefree now that everything is well between them, and peppers kisses all over Taehyung's face, just to make him blush.
"My hero," Hoseok sighs out, and Taehyung looks down, his cheeks pink. "Let's spend Christmas at Namjoon's, and then we can just- go home? Drink some more wine, make out," he trials off, and Taehyung giggles.
"So smooth, honey," he says, still laughing, and Hoseok laughs too, more nervous than anything else. "Let's do that."
"I love you, Tae, thank you," Hoseok whispers, and Taehyung kisses him, short and sweet.
"I love you. You can always just tell me what is bothering you. I'll always listen, like you always listen to me."
❆
Jimin paces around the apartment, debating on whether he should call Jungkook or not. He can’t go out to look for him in this weather, even if Jungkook is outside, and he can’t just tell him to come home either. Jungkook might not want to.
He just hopes Jungkook is okay. He would never forgive himself if he wasn’t.
Suddenly, he hears someone punching the code to their door, the fingers slow almost as if they’re frozen, and when Jungkook opens the door, Jimin barrels into him, pulling him into a hug that somehow feels more like a scolding than an actual affectionate gesture. Jungkook knows Jimin all too well, and he knows that it probably is a scolding.
"Jeon Jungkook!" Jimin yells, still gripping him tightly. "How dare you!"
He pulls away, and when Jimin looks at him, his heart sinks a little in his chest. Jungkook’s face is blotchy pink, his eyes swollen, and Jungkook knows that he's not the only one who has been crying.
"Hyung," he mumbles, bringing him back into a hug. He tries to hide his face in Jimin's neck as best as he can. "Sorry, I'm sorry for running away."
"You could've gotten hurt," Jimin says, and Jungkook nods.
"I know, but I'm okay. I stood outside for like five minutes before Yoongi hyung talked me into going inside."
“I'm glad you called him," Jimin mumbles, and he is. Even if he would prefer it if they could just fix things between the two of them, Yoongi is good to Jungkook. He loves him, and what's best for him. Him telling Jungkook he should come back makes him happy. He wants Yoongi to trust him too.
"I think our next door neighbor thinks we're breaking up," Jungkook says, sounding almost happy, but Jimin doesn't say anything, and can almost feel Jungkook frown. He thought maybe Jimin would laugh.
"We're- we're not breaking up, right?" He asks, his voice small, and Jungkook gasps, pulling away so he can look Jimin in the eye.
"No!" He replies, and Jimin sniffles. "No, of course not. I don't want to leave you, I really don't want you to leave me."
"I'm not gonna," Jimin mumbles, and Jungkook sighs.
"Lets just sit on the couch," he says, and Jimin nods. Except Jungkook forgot they don't have a couch. Not yet anyway. It was supposed to get delivered yesterday, but apparently the holiday craze is slowing deliveries down. Jungkook doesn't mind all that much. He takes off his jacket and pulls Jimin into the bedroom, pulling him into what should be their bed but is really just a mattress. The bed frame is late too. It feels like their apartment is slowly falling apart before coming together at all.
"Come here, let me warm you up, yeah? Your hands are freezing," Jimin says, moving them around so they're spooning each other, Jungkook's face almost completely hidden by the pillow. Jimin pats it down, his pout prominent, and Jungkook wants to kiss him, but he wants to talk about this even more. It feels suffocating, and he doesn't like how unresolved the air feels between them right now.
"Jimin hyung," Jungkook says, his eyes teary again, and Jimin looks at him, his eyes serious, letting him know he's listening. "I'm struggling a lot. I- I don't know why I thought this was going to be easier. But it's not, it's really not. I'm nervous about meeting your family and them not liking me because of how I speak, or if I make a mistake. I'm nervous about not finding a job, about you having to support me."
Jimin looks at him, his hand running up and down Jungkook's arm in soothing motions. He looks angry, but Jungkook knows it's not because of him, but because there are so many things Jimin wants to fix for him and can't.
"Baby," Jimin says, sees the way Jungkook shuts his eyes because he doesn't want to start crying. It's easy to press a kiss to his cheek, reassuring. "My family is going to love you. How could they not? You're so good, Jungkookie, the best person I've ever known."
He moves a little closer, Jungkook's breath on his skin.
"I will always support you," he adds. "I love you." The words feel more real when Jimin says them like this, in Korean, lazy, deep. Jungkook seems to think so too, because he loves to kiss Jimin, so slow it feels like they're dancing.
"I love you," Jungkook replies, in Korean too, and Jimin preens. "I- there's something else I have to say."
Jimin gulps, but motions at Jungkook to keep going.
"It hurt when you said I needed to try harder, hyung," he says, his voice watery again, and Jimin's throat constricts almost completely. "I'm trying so hard. I'm going to take classes, too. Yoongi hyung is gifting me half the money for it because we can't afford it. I promise you I'll manage to do it, but please don't- don't say I need to try harder. I'm already trying my best with what I have. I really am, and I want to be good for you, please acknowledge that."
Jimin makes a hurt noise in the back of his throat, tears falling down his cheeks freely now. Sometimes, Jimin remembers Jungkook is like this. So smart, so perceptive, not at all impulsive with his emotions like Jimin is. He doesn't say hurtful things when he's upset, like Jimin, who loses his filter completely.
"Jungkook," Jimin cries. "Jungkook-ah, I am so sorry," he says, and then switches over to Korean. "Hyung is sorry."
"I know you are," Jungkook replies, in English. Jimin brushes his bangs away, wipes his tears too.
"I didn't mean it like that. I know you're trying so hard," Jimin says, more calm now. "Yoongi hyung is being so kind, you're so loved by everyone around you, my Jungkookie."
"Hmm," Jungkook hums, nuzzling his nose against Jimin's. "I want to plan something for when we go visit your family for the new year," he whispers, and Jimin nods.
"Okay. Okay, Jungkook-ah. I still think they'll love you regardless, but I understand this is important to you." Jungkook nods, looking more relieved, and Jimin kisses him. "I know just the right person to teach you. I'll call him, see if we can arrange something."
"Thank you," Jungkook says, looking more shy now. "Yoongi hyung invited us to eat dinner at his place for Christmas. He wants to meet you, and for us to meet his boyfriends, too." The way he says it sounds like he's pitching a business proposal, and Jimin giggles, knowing he's never going to get tired of how cute Jungkook is.
"Yeah, baby," he says, soft. "Let's spend Christmas with them. I'd love that." He remembers the text he got from Hoseok a few minutes ago, when Jungkook was still out in the snow. Take Christmas Eve and Christmas day off, Jiminie. Enjoy your time with Jungkook.
"Yeah?" Jungkook asks, hopeful. His hair fans out on the pillow when Jimin shifts himself on top of Jungkook, looking at him with shiny eyes.
"Yeah," Jimin replies before leaning down and dragging Jungkook into a longer kiss.
"Hyung, to-touch me, please," he whines, and Jimin smiles. Jungkook is so sensitive, always has been. Jimin can always rile him up so quickly, it makes him feel so lucky.
"My baby," Jimin mumbles, leaning down to kiss Jungkook's chest once his shirt is off, sucking on one of his nipples, kissing his belly. He pulls his pants down and throws them away, leaving him on the bed completely naked, already panting, his chest flushed. Jimin wants to devour him. Jungkook pouts when Jimin stares instead of moving closer to him, and it makes Jimin laugh.
He's still loose from last night, so he doesn't need to finger himself much before he's sitting on Jungkook's hips, sinking down on him, enjoying his blissed out expression, his furrowed brow, his half parted mouth. He doesn't even bother taking off his shirt. It feels good to feel Jungkook bare under him when he isn't, somehow looking more small because he's drowning in Jungkook's pajama shirt.
"Ngn, hyung," he moans, and Jimin moans too, so full, before he starts moving his hips. Once he feels more used to it, he starts moving faster, and Jungkook throws his head back. Sometimes, most times, Jungkook can't do much when Jimin rides him like this. He goes boneless, completely at Jimin's mercy, letting him take care of him. Jimin loves it when they have sex like this most.
He rides Jungkook fast, his mouth not quite leaving Jungkook's, aching to be close and finish together too, because Jimin loves him, never wants to be away from him.
When Jungkook comes, he lets out a string of whimpers that Jimin kisses away, and then he's coming too, in Jungkook's stomach, his moans high pitched and airy.
"Love you, I love you," Jungkook says, not quite down from his high yet, and Jimin giggles, kissing Jungkook's cheeks.
"I love you too, adore you," he says. "You're so good, aren't you? Such a good boy, just for me. All mine, my Jungkookie, I'm so lucky." Jungkook whimpers again, moving his hands to cup Jimin's face, his eyes filled with stars.
"I'm lucky," he pants. "Gonna marry you," he mumbles, and Jimin smiles, lights up. It makes him feel so good, happy and safe, to know the ring on Jungkook's finger was put there by him. Jungkook knows how it makes him feel too, and that's why he says it so often.
"Gonna marry you," he replies, and sits up, reaching out for the wipes next to the bed that are still there from last night. He wipes both of them down, and doesn't bother pushing himself off from Jungkook's soft dick, still inside of him. He lays on his chest, throwing the covers over them, and kisses his sternum. "Don't you worry, baby. We're going to be just fine."
"I know, I feel safe with you," Jungkook replies, his voice already thick with sleep, and Jimin resists the urge to giggle so he won't move them too much. Jungkook gets tired after Jimin rides him, and Jimin teases him a lot about it. How come you're so tired if I did all the work? He will ask, and Jungkook will blush, mumbling his reply. Just feels good, I don't know what to do.
And of course Jimin knows what he means, that Jungkook gets so lost in the feeling of being taken care of, but it's fun to see him blush about it anyway.
Jimin is going to make sure they make it. It's a promise Jimin means to keep, and he knows Jungkook knows it too. It lefts him drift into mindless sleep.
❆
Moving into Yoongi and Namjoon's apartment is hard work. Seokjin had been counting on having to move out of his apartment already, and lucky for him, most of the trivial things he owned were packed in boxes and ready to be taken- wherever he was going to go if Namjoon and Yoongi didn't ask him to move in with them.
They help him pack everything else, leaving most of the furniture behind because they already had a fully furnished apartment, and then they got rid of some stuff themselves so Seokjin could put away some of his belongings. They dropped them off at the charity center last week, and Seokjin has never felt more excited to let things go.
The first night he sleeps in their bed when all of his stuff is moved in, he can't help the giggle that pours out of him, so beyond excited to be here with them, to know everything worked out well for them, despite his fears. He knows where everything is in the apartment already, and it doesn't make him feel at all like he's extra with them, or like he was politely invited to live here. He feels like he belongs, and it's a feeling he had always taken for granted, but is not going to again.
Yoongi and him make plans for their Christmas dinner. They've never had so many guests at the same time, so they need to figure out how to feed everyone to suit their taste. Jungkook tells Yoongi that he and Jimin will eat "literally anything you want to make us, hyung, we haven't had a homemade meal in forever" so naturally, Yoongi wants to make everything from scratch. Seokjin thinks it's cute, mostly, because Yoongi loves Jungkook so much. It's obvious, just from how he talks to him on the phone.
To say Seokjin is nervous to meet him is an understatement. Everyone Yoongi and Namjoon have introduced to him as important parts of their life has liked them- Taehyung, Yoongi's mom, the flower shop lady that fed Namjoon through college. Jungkook can't be an exception, so Seokjin is determined to make a good first impression.
That means, clearly, that they need to make a lot of food- good food- for dinner on Christmas. They start the preparation two days before. Fillings, sauces, buying fresh ingredients. Namjoon watches them from the kitchen, providing mostly emotional support, and helps prepare the apartment in other ways. He cleans Hardy's station in the kitchen, putting it in their bathroom to clear some space, fluffing up the couch pillows, setting up Christmas lights and placing the little gifts they got everyone- and that Namjoon also bought- in a big box in the corner of the living room to make it look better.
He is the one in charge of setting up the bath the night before Christmas, because Seokjin had an exhausting day at work and Yoongi cooked all day, so he serves them wine and bread and cheese and kisses them even if they have foam on their faces. Seokjin feels like spoiling him out of this world when this Christmas madness is over. This is usually the worst time of the year, but Seokjin finds himself enjoying the chaos a little bit more, just because he has two warm bodies hugging him to sleep at night.
By the time the sun is setting low in the sky, all of the food is ready, and Seokjin and Yoongi sit on the couch- after showering and dressing and putting on a little bit of makeup- to catch their breath. Namjoon joins them, and Seokjin kisses him sweetly when he realizes he's wearing the reindeer slippers Seokjin brought over from the store a few days ago. It was cheesy, and stupid, and it would probably embarrass the hell out of Yoongi, so Seokjin didn't think twice before buying a pair for each one of them.
"Jungkook and Jimin are on their way," Yoongi says, and Seokjin nods, ignoring the way his heartbeat quickens. He shouldn't be this nervous, it really isn't a big deal.
"Hey, what did you say Jimin's last name was?" Seokjin asks.
"Park," Yoongi replies, and Seokjin hums. He doesn't think much of it. There are hundreds of Park Jimins in Korea, the possibility that this Jimin is the same Jimin that Seokjin met in his first year of business school.
As if on cue, the doorbell rings, and Yoongi stands up to get the door.
Seokjin meets Namjoon's eyes for a quick second, and the younger winks at him.
"It's gonna be fine," he whispers, kissing Seokjin's lips quickly and standing up. It occurs to Seokjin that Namjoon hasn't met Jungkook and Jimin either. He doesn't know why, but when he asked, Yoongi just shrugged. "Never had the chance," he replied, and Seokjin left it at that. It made Seokjin feel better.
"Jungkookie," Yoongi says in is "I'm happy but I don't want to show it too much voice," and Seokjin sees the way someone barrels into him, dragging him into a tight hug. From what Seokjin can tell, Jungkook is tall, cute. He doesn't think about it too much, because when he sees the person behind him, he lets out a delighted laugh.
"It is you," he says, and sees the way Jimin turns to look at him, a frown on his face that dissolves into a smile when he realizes who Seokjin is.
"Seokjin hyung? No way!" He yells, and jumps to give him a hug. Seokjin smiles into it. "I was just going to give you a call this week!"
"Really?" Seokjin asks, and Jimin pulls away. His smile is just as radiant as Seokjin remembers it to be, and he feels his heart warm. It's good to see him again.
"Yeah! I wanted to ask you if you're still baking and stuff," he says, and turns his head like he forgot there's other people in the room. To be fair, Seokjin had forgotten a little bit too. "This is Jungkook, my fiancé," he introduces him, and Seokjin is finally able to get a good look at him. He's tall, muscular but lean, and his face is handsome. His eyes are so wide, Seokjin notices, and smiles. He looks kind.
"Small world, huh?" He asks no one in particular, and offers Jungkook his hand. Jungkook takes it and shakes it gratefully, like he wasn't expecting it at all. "I'm Seokjin, you can call me hyung, if you want."
"Jungkook," he whispers back, shy, and Seokjin remembers, suddenly.
"Jimin is my erm- friend from university," he says in English, and Jungkook seems to relax a little bit, his shoulders sagging. Jimin wraps an arm around Jungkook's waist and kisses his cheek.
"I'm Namjoon," Namjoon says, shaking Jungkook's hand and bowing back to Jimin. "You can both call me hyung too."
Jungkook stares at him, looking a little caught off guard, and then he realizes Jimin has the same expression on his face. Seokjin gets it. Namjoon is a lot.
"And this is my hyung Yoongi," Jungkook offers in Korean, and Jimin turns around to bow to him too.
"Nice to finally meet you," Jimin says, "I've heard a lot about you."
Yoongi nods, and then looks at Seokjin for a quick second before he meets Jimin's eyes again with a smile.
"And if you are who I think you are, then I've heard a lot more about you than I realized," he says, and Jimin's eyes widen before he looks at Seokjin. Seokjin nods, and Jimin's cheeks go pink before he turns to look at Jungkook.
"Baby, Seokjin hyung is the guy I told you about," he says. "My college boyfriend."
It dawns on Jungkook then, and Seokjin gives him a shy smile, his ears surely red.
"Oh," he says, and then smiles. "Jimin hyung says a lot of nice things about you."
"I would hope so," Seokjin replies. "I fed him his entire career until he moved to the US. He wouldn't have survived without me!"
Jimin laughs, full bodied and happy like Seokjin remembers it as he clings to Jungkook.
"It's true," he admits, and then his eyes widen. "Wait, did you cook today?"
"And Yoongi," Seokjin says, and Jimin cheers.
"I can't believe we're going to feast like this, Jungkookie," he says, and Jungkook smiles at him, so clearly whipped it makes Seokjin happy. Jimin always deserved something like this. They broke it off because Jimin was moving away, but it was friendly and nice right until the very end. Maybe too friendly- Seokjin should've realized that they were better off as friends, even if they did lose touch when Jimin moved.
"I'm hungry," Jungkook confesses in a mumble, and Yoongi laughs.
"Come on in, we have appetizers while Hoseok-ah and Taehyung-ah get here," he replies, and Jimin and Jungkook share a confused look.
"Hoseok-ah?" They ask at the same time, and Namjoon nods.
"He's my brother in law. Him and Taehyung are coming over too. Why, do you know a Hoseok?" He asks, and then tilts his head. Pretty much everyone knows Hoseok, he's a hot celebrity around here as of lately.
"He's my boss," Jimin replies looking too happy for someone who just found out they're going to spend Christmas with their boss. "He's cool!" He adds and Jungkook nods.
"Yeah, he's nice," Jungkook assures, and then moves a little closer to Yoongi. Yoongi wraps him up in a hug not a second later, and Seokjin looks at Namjoon for a quick second. They're so- soft, Seokjin thinks. He's glad Yoongi can see him more often now that they're living in the same country.
"Missed you," Seokjin hears Yoongi whisper, and he motions to Namjoon and Jimin to walk further into the apartment, giving them privacy. They walk into the kitchen, and Seokjin turns to Jimin.
"Do you mind helping me serve the food?" He asks, and Jimin shakes his head, so him and Namjoon move to the other side of the counter, plates in their hands ready for Seokjin to serve them the appetizers. They carry it out into the living room and set it on the coffee table Namjoon turned into a little makeshift dining room and settle down there.
"So you're modeling?" Seokjin asks Jimin, who nods, his cheeks full from the big piece of cheese he put in his mouth.
"Yeah, Hoseok hyung wanted a fresh face and it was easy enough to get the job. It's fun! I enjoy it." Namjoon settles into Seokjin's shoulder, his hand on Seokjin's leg. Seokjin takes it, laces their fingers together.
"That's nice, I think you're perfect for the job," Seokjin says, and Jimin hums at the praise, looking happy.
"What do you do?" Jimin asks, and Seokjin tugs on Namjoon's hand, urging him to speak.
"I work in a library," he says. "The owner knows me since I was in school and gave me more hours once I graduated. It's hard work, but I really enjoy it."
"And I'm a manager at the Lotte store in Songpa-gu," Seokjin replies, almost wanting to roll his eyes. Right now, his job is the definition of hell.
"Ugh," Jimin says, honest as ever, and both Namjoon and him laugh.
"Yeah, exactly."
"I hope other things give you happiness, though," he says, shyer, and Seokjin nods. He thinks about coming home to music playing from Namjoon's speakers, to Yoongi's kisses and Namjoon's hugs, the smell of the flowers Yoongi buys them every week hanging in the air. He thinks of Hardy, who loves having Yoongi and Namjoon around all the time because they feed him treats. He finds so much happiness in everything else.
Their dates, his time alone as he walks home and thinks he has someone to open the door for him, everything.
"I'm happy," Seokjin says, and Namjoon squeezes their joined hands, kisses his cheek. Jimin's eyes smile.
"You look so cute though!" Seokjin hears Jungkook exclaim in English. Yoongi's embarrassed laugh follows. "Like a steamed bun!" He says in Korean, and they all laugh this time, startling Jungkook a little bit.
"Come here," Seokjin tells Yoongi, who grumbles and sits next to Namjoon, kissing them both hello even if they've been apart for a few seconds. "My steamed bun."
Yoongi shoves him playfully, and they all laugh. Yoongi looks at Jungkook.
"They're never going to let that one go," he says, and Namjoon giggles.
"We're really not," he says, and Yoongi rolls his eyes. Seokjin wants to eat him.
The doorbell rings again, and this time it’s Namjoon who stands up to answer. Happy laughs come from the door, and Seokjin turns around to look at Hoseok and Taehyung, brilliant smiles on their faces. As soon as they look to the couch, their smiles fall. Taehyung looks- sacred, Seokjin would dare say.
“Jimin-ah?” Hoseok asks, and Jimin stands up.
“Hoseok hyung,” he says in a rush. “I just found out you somehow know our friends, too. I hope it’s not bad news,” he adds, sheepish, and Hoseok gives him a small smile.
“No, not at all,” he assures, and turns to Taehyung. “This is my boyfriend, Taehyung. He’s ‘95, too.”
Jimin’s eyes widen, and he bows slightly at Taehyung.
“It’s so nice to meet you,” he whispers. “If I had known you looked like that, I would’ve told Hoseok hyung to give you the job instead of me.” His cheeks go pink immediately, and Jungkook hides a smile in the back of his hand, looking amused and almost ready to tease Jimin. Taehyung’s eyes widen, and he breaks into a smile.
“That’s what I told him!” He replies, and Jimin grins at him. Namjoon ruffles Taehyung’s hair.
“That’s nepotism,” Hoseook says with a straight face, and Seokjin and Yoongi both snort.
“The handsome Kim,” Namjoon says, and Seokjin makes an affronted noise.
“Yah! Kim Namjoon!” He yells, and Namjoon blushes.
“I’m handsome too, yeah yeah,” he says, giving up. Seokjin and Yoongi tell him all the time.
“I was talking about myself,” Seokjin says, and everyone laughs, including Jungkook, who seemed too shy to do anything until now. Namjoon rolls his eyes, clearly getting the joke, and kisses Seokjin briefly.
They serve dinner after that, all of them hungry and eager to make conversation.
Taehyung sits next to Jimin, which seems to surprise Hoseok, and they start talking like they’re old friends almost immediately. Namjoon starts talking to Jungkook, their voices low and deep, so Seokjin turns around to look at Yoongi.
“Your ex boyfriend, huh?” He asks, eyeing Jimin, and Seokjin laughs.
“You jealous?” He asks, and Yoongi rolls his eyes.
“As if. I just wanted to make sure he’s good for Jungkook,” he says, and Seokjin huffs.
“As if you could break them up if he wasn’t,” he says, looking at the way their hands are laced together under the table even if they’re having different conversations. “Jimin is great,” he assures anyway, because Yoongi worries about everyone, and his boyfriend nods, satisfied.
After dinner, Jimin and Jungkook approach Seokjin in the kitchen. Jungkook is looking shy again.
“Hyung,” Jimin says, and Seokjin looks up to them. “We were wondering if we could ask you a favor?”
“Yeah, of course,” Seokjin says, drying his hands on the kitchen towel.
“Could you-” Jungkook starts, and then stops, a shy smile on his face. “Could you teach me how to make songpyeon? I want to um- bring something for Jimin’s family when we go meet them in the new year.”
Seokjin smiles, nodding. He knows how it feels, to be nervous about meeting the family of someone you’re in a committed relationship with. Seokjin had to do it twice in the span of a month when he got together with Yoongi and Namjoon. Jungkook is already engaged to Jimin, but he’s sure the need to be accepted burns just as much as it would if they weren’t.
“Oh, hoho,” Seokjin says, wrapping an arm around Jungkook’s shoulders. “I’m going to teach you how to make everything. You’ll blow them away with your cooking skills, you’ll see.”
“Thank you,” Jungkook says, his eyes so wide Seokjin wants to ruffle his hair and spoil him.
Yoongi was right about Seokjin’s love language being acts of service too.
They head back outside, and Seokjin sits next to Namjoon and Yoongi on the couch.
“Congratulations on moving in together,” Taehyung says, and Seokjin smiles.
“Thank you, Taehyung-ah.”
“Only good things are coming now,” Yoongi says, looking over at Jungkook for a second before he kisses Namjoon and then Seokjin. Everyone seems to agree, and Seokjin finds himself nodding too.
He can’t see how anything will go wrong for them for a long time.