Chapter Text
You were feeling uncomfortable. Very much so. Your latest case had just finished and you were driving home.
You and your colleague, Dr Spencer Reid lived in the same direction so often car pooled together, and today was one of those occasions.
Normally the journey home would be filled with chat about the latest case, or your plans for the weekend. Today was different. The latest case which had just wrapped, had involved a string of murders taking place within the BDSM community. And that had involved a fair amount of research being done into that lifestyle.
Or at least it should have done. A certain member of the team though, had already known a lot about that lifestyle, and had reeled off a lot of facts, figures and comments about it which had meant you hadn’t had to do that much research.
And that team member was sitting next to you in the car.
You were curious. Extremely so. Something about the way the facts had rolled off his tongue, the sheer confidence in which he talked about it, made you wonder.
Wonder if this was something he’d simply read about or whether it was something he’d actually experienced.
You’d never experimented with that type of play before, never had a partner who you felt comfortable talking about it with. But ever since you’d watched the Maggie Gyllenhal film Secretary when you were 17, there was something….. intriguing about it. Something interesting….. and hearing Spencer talk the way he had, had kind of turned you on a bit. More than a bit in fact. It was making you look at him in a whole new light.
“You’re very quiet tonight Y/N.”, the Doctor commented from his seat.
“Am I?” You knew you were, your mind was on other things. Specifically him.
“Is everything okay?”
“Hm? Yeah it is.”
“Okay. It’s just not like you to be this quiet.” He went back to looking out of the window, surveying the scenery he’d seen a thousand times.
You really wanted to know. To know if the information he knew, was just from reading and research.
But did you want to know enough to actually ask him?
Yes. You did.
You knew Spencer well enough, you were friends after all. He’d probably just laugh at your question, tell you no, it was just from reading, and then you could resume being normal with him, your curiosity quenched.
“Spencer. Don’t laugh okay. But… Erm, you knew a hell of a lot about the BDSM scene. More than I think any of us were expecting you to know.”, you murmured, then glanced at him, checking for his reaction.
He didn’t react. At all. And he was very quiet for a few minutes, so much so that you’d thought he maybe hadn’t heard you. He did have a habit of zoning out sometimes.
“Spencer?”
You glanced over again. The corners of his lips twitched up slightly and he turned to you.
“You want to know if that’s something I’ve tried right? Or if it’s just something I’ve read. Did you ask Rossi the same question before you left?”
Agent David Rossi had had his own comments to add to Spencers. But he openly admitted to having experimented with it when he was in college. Reid hadn’t given any indication of how he’d garnered his knowledge.
“I didn’t ask Rossi, no.”
“So are you asking me for a specific reason, Agent Y/N?” His face was still straight, giving you no indication of how he was taking your question.
“Honestly, because you don’t seem the type.” You winced at your own words. You should know better than anyone, not to judge a book by its cover. Working for the FBI had taught you that much.
“I don’t seem the type….Well it takes all sorts Y/N.” He replied, his tone dry and cool.
Did that mean? Had he? Your hands gripped the steering wheel as you came to a stop at a set of traffic lights.
“If we’re talking about stereotypes, then you don’t exactly give off the impression that this is something you’re into either, Y/N.”
Touche, Dr Reid. You kept quiet, not sure now how to proceed with this conversation. It wasn’t going the way you’d expected. You’d expected him to laugh, and tell you that he’d been curious with all of the hype from Fifty Shades and had simply read up on it. He’d probably be able read every book written on the subject within a week.
“So are you….. Into it?” Spencer asked.
“I asked you first.” Oh this was not going how you’d expected it to go at all.
“Technically you didn’t. But assuming this conversation goes no further than between us, I’ll answer.”
“I won’t tell a soul.” No one else in the team would believe you anyway.
Spencer mirrored your thoughts. “I doubt the others would believe you anyway. The answer is yes, it’s something I’ve experienced. And it’s something I enjoy.”
You weren’t sure whether this was the answer you’d secretly been hoping you heard or not. Either way, you were still shocked. And you were glad you’d been at a stop light.
“Pick your jaw up off the floor, Agent Y/N. A gaping mouth can be good for some things, but not right here.”
You turned to look at him incredulously. What the fuck?
“You might want to drive, the lights turned green ten seconds ago.”
Shit. You hit the pedal, driving onwards, and completely unsure what to say.
“So, your turn. Is it something you’re into? You asked me for a reason. What you say doesn’t go beyond us.”
When you spoke it was barely above a whisper. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know. But you’re curious right? You’ve been way too quiet in this case and not your usual self.”
“Yes. I’m curious.”, you said and your voice gained a bit more power and strength.
“So ask. What do you want to know? I’ll tell you, and I trust you to be discreet. If you don’t ask, you’re not likely to get the answers.”
Now was your chance. Ask the questions you’d wanted to ask the Dominants and Submissive’s you’d had to interview. But what to ask?
“What do you actually do?”
“Me, personally, or Dominants in general? Because essentially, it’s in the name. We dominate. However it does drill down onto a fair few levels depending on the relationship you have with a Sub.”
He was talking about it the way he would talk to you about movies or books he liked. With confidence and knowledge. It didn’t bother him when you asked him. This was not the Spencer Reid that got flustered when Garcia flirted with him, this was someone else.
“Okay, well you personally.”
“No judgement?”, he asked you and you shook your head. You wouldn’t judge him. You couldn’t.
“Okay so depending on what’s been agreed, we might be playing out a certain scenario. I’m sure you’re aware of the classic role playing fantasies: Master and Servant, Professor and Student, Boss and Employee.”
“Never FBI agent and UNSUB then?” You interrupted him.
“No, I keep my work totally separate from that. Anyway. So it simply could be a scenario that’s acted out. And generally it will go that the submissive has displeased their master and needs to be punished in some shape or form. So I punish them.”
Dr Spencer Reid punishing someone. Jesus fucking christ.
“Does it always end in sex?”
“Nope. That’s not what it’s all about. Some people derive pleasure from simply giving or receiving the punishment during the scene, and that’s enough to get them off, to make them feel the high or release you’d get from sex. Other times….. Other times intercourse is part of the scene, and others it may come after. Sometimes there’s very little role play involved and it may be that the submissive just wants to be tied up and played with. Generally that will end with intercourse.”
“Played with?”
“Blindfolded, gagged, spanked. Penetrated vaginally or anally with objects other than a penis. Whipped, flogged, clamped, scratched… Your jaw’s slack again Y/N.”
You closed your mouth and then opened it again to speak, however you closed it again quickly.
“Ask it, Y/N.”
You cleared your throat. “Okay. And you do all of this? Spanking and whipping someone?” You voice going up an octave.
“Yes. If someone wants me to.”
“But… Why?”
“Because I enjoy it and so do my partners. I can’t give you an exact reason why other than because I find it pleasurable.”
“But you’re basically hurting someone?”
“Only because they’re asking me to. It’s consensual and there’s terms, plus there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain. It’s not all pain either. Sometimes all my partner will want is to be bound and blindfold. The simple removal of their sight and not being able to move, enhances their other sensations and it can lead to very intense orgasms.”
“Oh.”
Oh indeed.
“So, I have a question for you, Agent Y/N. You say you’re curious. Why exactly? Have you seen or watched something that’s made you curious?”
You signalled onto Spencers street, pulling up outside his apartment building.
“Erm… Yes. Years ago. I saw something that made me wonder if I’d enjoy it or not.”
Why were you telling him this?
“And you’ve never explored it?”
“No.”
“But you’ve wanted to?”
“Erm…. I think so.”
He unbuckled his seat belt and picked his messenger bag up from the footwell.
“Have a serious think about whether you just think you want to explore it and whether you actually want to explore it. It can be very scary and very daunting. It’s something you have to go into with someone you trust completely and know will respect you and your boundaries.”
“I trust you!” You blurted out, clamping your hand over your mouth as soon as the words left.
Spencer's eyes shot to your face, studying it wordlessly for a few moments.
“Y/N. Go home, think very long and very hard about what you’ve just said and implied. This isn’t something you should rush into and definitely not with a coworker.” He went to get out of this car but you stopped him.
“But would you though?”
“If you’re asking me whether I’d show you part of my world, then yes. If you were sure it was what you wanted and you could be certain that you wouldn’t let this interfere with our working relationship. But we’re not making this decision now. Go home Y/N. We’ve got a few days off work. Think about things and I can send you some links if you’d like.”
“Yes, please. Send them.”
He nodded and slid out of the car, turning and waving goodbye to you when he reached the steps of his apartment block.
As you pulled away you still couldn’t quite believe the road that conversation had taken.
And you didn’t know whether to carry on walking down that road, or to turn and run for the hills.