Chapter Text
Lilith is a horrible person.
Or that’s what she tells herself anyway.
Lilith Clawthorne is a horrible person.
It’s become a mantra at this point. She repeats it when she wakes up, or when she makes mistakes. She says it to herself to force herself to sleep. She says it because she thinks it will keep away the nightmares.
And it never works.
“Edalyn!” she cries as her sister runs towards the forest.
It was her fault. Her sister was a beast because of her.
She’s a horrible person.
She feels a light grasp on her wrist. “Announcing the newest addition to the emperor’s coven!” the guard announced. Raising her hand to the air.
“Let go of me!” she yells, struggling to break free. The guard doesn’t let go, so she draws a circle and casts a fire at him.
He flinches and releases her, and she makes a run for it. She tries her best to ignore the cries or gasps that filled the stadium. Running was the only thing on her mind.
She’s a horrible person.
Lilith finds her sister deep in the woods. A little too deep. So deep that you could no longer see the sun glaring through the leaves.
“Edalyn!” she calls out, but does not get an answer.
Instead she hears whimpers and the scratching of wood. Turning to see the orange mess of an owl beast trying to climb a tree. A snarling sound came out of her mouth, and Lilith tensed a bit.
“Eda… It’s me. Do you recognize me?” she asked, shaking just the slightest.
The owl beast charged towards her and Lilith lets out a scream,
Only to be sat on of all things.
“Edalyn!” she grumbled from beneath her now fluffy sibling. That was most definitely her sister. Only she would sit on her all things considered, even in a state of unconsciousness. Could she be anymore insufferable?
She struggled against the soft fur, “Get off Edalyn!”
Her sister just purred happily.
Did she really have to be cute? It would have been so much easier if she wasn’t cute.
Finally managing to crawl out from under her, she huffed as she hit the ground. Eda tilted her head slightly to the side as Lilith paced back and forth.
“S-stop.” she whimpers as she struggles against her bed. She hates the memory. She hates what happened. She hates herself.
But every night, she is forced to watch.
“Please… stop.”
The nightmares never stop. They never listen to her pleas.
It’s okay… she deserved this.
Curse… curse… pain! She was feeling pain!
And pain could be shared.
“With this spell declared,” she said softly, cupping her cheeks. “Let the pain be shared.”
A great glow erupted from within Eda’s chest and spread towards her. The owl beast shrank away and instead was replaced with a little girl with orange hair and yellow eyes.
Or… eye to be precise.
The other one was grey now.
“What… happened to your eye?” Eda squeaked out after a bit.
Her eye?
“What do you mean my eye? Look at yours!”
She wishes she hadn’t said that, because Edalyn starts crying.
“What… what happened to me, Lily?” she sobbed.
“I-I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry.” Lilith begs.
They can’t hear her. She’s forced to watch her younger self hugging her sister. Who’s broken. She had broken her.
“Why am I a monster?”
“You are not a monster. You are my sister.”
Edalyn was not a monster. But she was.
“You will never be a monster.” she promised.
The memory begins to shift around her. Her surroundings turned into a poisonous blank ink. All except Edalyn, which glowed a pure gold. The next thing she knows, she’s drowning.
The waves get stronger and Lilith can’t breathe. She can’t see anything but black. A black that blinded her. A black that filled her lungs and burned her skin.
She can hear faint voices. One of her own and the other of her sister.
“I HATE YOU. YOU RUINED ME. YOU CURSED ME. YOU ACTUALLY CURSED ME.”
“Please stop,” she begs uselessly.
“IT’S YOUR FAULT I’M A MONSTER!”
Lilith is sorry. She’s so very sorry.
“Edalyn please come out!” she hears her own voice call out from behind the wooden door.
“No!” Eda cries, her voice cracking.
She’s hurting… and I can’t take it away from her this time.
Lilith holds back tears of her own, “I’m so so sorry Edalyn. Please open the door!”
“No! I… I… I never want to see you again!”
The words sting and cut into her like a sun forged blade. The tears finally fall from her eyes, but she doesn’t try to hide. Because Eda was right. She is a monster. And monsters didn’t hide in the dark. They roamed the light, spoiling everything it touched.
Lilith had finally understood the meaning of her name that night. Lilith roughly translated to ‘Night Monster’ in demon tongue. And though her mother named her after the first witch, Lilith thinks the first option is much more fitting.
She was a night monster. And a horrible sister.
“Okay.” she chokes out, and steps away from the door.
If Edalyn never wanted to see her again, then she’d make sure of it.
She screams awake, covered in sweat and tears. The sweat did not go well with her hair. It clung uncomfortably against her skin.
Lilith finds herself back in the present time. She’s 34. She’s not a little girl anymore. She’s the Potion’s teacher at Hexside and their grugby coach. She owns the only library in Bonesboroug that has an indoor bakery. She’s the Potion’s Coven’s most esteemed potioneer. She lives alone in a small house in the woods.
She is, however, still a horrible person.
Feet falling onto the wooden floor, she drags herself out of bed and into the bathroom. She draws herself a bath because she can’t go to work all sweaty and tired.
Perhaps she should make herself another Dreamless Sleep Draught.
Many things have happened since Eda had stopped talking to her.
For one, Lilith graduated the following year, and immediately moved out. There was no send off for father had not come home on time and mother was busy crying in the pantry.
Lilith had simply packed her bags and made her way to Hexside, where she talked to Bump regarding her place in the system.
“So Level 5 Degree curse?” he asks, and she nods her head.
“Forbidden entrance for the Emperor’s Coven due to the incident?”
She nods her head shyly again, reminiscing the bitter memory. Bump only hums in understanding.
“And any form of magical binding could kill, or worse, trap you in your beast form?”
She nods yet again, practically sinking into the curly mess she called her hair.
Bump shook his head, “Luckily for you, there is an option.”
Lilith perked up her head in anticipation at his words.
“There is a special needs program for the disabled.” he said, handing her a pamphlet. “You may choose any other coven aside the Emperor’s and will be tattooed instead of bound to it. So you will not lose any of your magic.”
“Can’t I just make an Eternal Oath?” she asked as she took the neatly folded paper.
“Unfortunately the Eternal Oath is under the category of magical binding, therefore it would kill you in the process.”
Her lips thinned into a line, but she no longer asked questions. Bump began to continue.
“However, you will be checked annually to make sure you aren’t doing any other magic aside from your chosen coven.” he explained.
Lilith thought of her options, only to come to the conclusion that this was the best route. This way, Edalyn wouldn’t have to see her anymore, and she could no longer be of harm to anyone else.
It’s all she ever did anyway.
“Okay. I’ll take it.”
“Alright then. Choose your coven.”
Potions, she decides. Potions is her track anyway. She would be best suited there. Besides, that way she would not need to use up much magic. It was both safe and practical.
“I think I’ll apply for the Potion’s Coven.” she told him after a while.
Bump nodded and handed her the forms, “You know, we have a teacher opening for the Potion’s track. Mrs. Jenkins is taking retirement as we speak.”
A teacher didn’t sound so bad.
“Not… yet. Perhaps after a couple years. Exactly 2 years to be exact.”
“Mm. And does this have anything to do with Edalyn’s graduation?”
Her head snaps forward and to the side. Shying her eyes away from him. He didn’t know. He didn’t know what an awful person she was. He didn’t know the awful things she’s done.
Bump sighed and looked at the young girl. She was young, naive and misguided. He knows Alexander and Delavina were in a rough patch, he just wished it wouldn’t take such a toll on such great girls like Lilith and Edalyn.
“Look, it’s none of my business to be meddling with your family. But if you need anything, I’m always open. Okay?”
Lilith looks up from the tightly clutched papers and offers him a smile. He doesn’t know, she realizes. But that’s okay. She would make sure to make up for the horrible things she’s done.
“Thank you, Principle Bump.”
He nods yet again (Lilith now thinks that it’s a teacher thing). “Very well. I’ll be seeing you here in 2 years time I hope?”
“Yes you will.” she confirmed, shaking the old man’s hand. Feet walking out of the door of his office.
She had also inherited a library from her late boss. Who was also her mentor in the art of the blade.
Though she didn’t like talking about that part.
“You called for me Ma’am?”
“Yes Lily dear. Please. Take a seat.”
She does as she is told in front of the old woman, choosing one with a pink cushioned surface. Her mentor hands her a neatly folded envelope. Lilith takes it gracefully and opens it. Surprised to see a check and several documents.
“What-”
“I’m dying Lily dear.”
Lilith stared at her stunned and her mentor laughed hysterically. She could not understand what had been so funny about the moment.
“Didn’t think I’d live forever now did you Lily?” she teased, hitting her knee in response.
Lilith shook her head and stared at the papers clutched between her hands. They were real estate papers for the library. And they were in her name.
“I do not have children of my own Lily. So I’m giving you everything I have.”
“Bu-but… surely you have family of your own!”
“And give my hard earned fortune to those chumps? I’d rather die twice!” she bellowed.
Lily missed her mentor dearly. She had been all she had in the first few years she had left the nest. Though they had their moments, she had ultimately been the one to take in a 16 year old with no questions asked.
“You… you can find someone who is more deserving of your fortune, Master.”
There had been very few times her mentor had been serious. And that had been the last time she ever was.
“Now listen to me Lily dearie,”
Staring into her golden eyes, she could see the sincerity practically leaking out of them.
“You may have made horrible, horrible mistakes. But you need to remember that you aren’t a bad person. I would not teach you the values of a swordswoman if I thought otherwise.”
Lilith remembers these words. And though she trusts her mentor was wise, she was wrong about her.
Lilith was an excellent swordswoman, teacher and potioneer. She is an orderly librarian and an even better sports coach. But none of this changed the fact that she was a horrible person.
This was her mantra. These were her life’s teachings.
This was fact.
Lilith Meadowyn Clawthorne was a horrible person.
--x--
Alador Blight is 35 and miserable.
He is unhappily married to a cruel woman, and he is unhappy with his job. He is unhappy in a house that he’s grown up in. It has become his prison. A very comfortable, beautiful prison.
A prison that is too wide to be suspected of one. His children would soon learn that.
He’s utterly miserable. He struggles with finding joy in anything.
Though he does enjoy his time painting. He enjoys using the familiar hues of blues and oranges, though he’ll never tell you why. Alador enjoys painting the autumn leaves that adorned a strange woman with fluffy red hair.
He also finds joy in his children.
Emira is headstrong and sharp. She is his eldest and she fulfills her job well. He has no doubt that she’ll make a good leader and an even better coven leader one day. And he is not one to give compliments all willy nilly.
Edric is kind and energetic. He is curious about everything and always had a knack for pointing out small hidden details he found obvious. He is his only son and Alador couldn’t be more proud.
Amity is much like him. Soft spoken and distant, but had a heart of gold beneath her seamingly cold eyes. She was clever and quick on her feet. Having a knack for the arts much like him. He loves his youngest very much.
It’s a shame his time with them is short. He’s a busy man with much work to do, so he cherishes the little time he has with them.
“Papa?”
He looks down to see Amity standing there, peering at him with big eyes. It feels like he’s looking into his own.
He also notices that she’s wearing a hood.
“Yes dear?” he says as he sets down his paperwork.
Amity clutches onto her Otabin plush she bought the other day and points at her hood. He reaches out to take it from her head and is shocked to see the sea of green instead of it’s usual brown colour.
His daughter looks like she’s about to cry.
“I… I don’t like it.” she said, small and squeaky. Alador thinks his heart is going to break.
“Did your mother do this?” he asked softly, though his throat sours.
His daughter nods her head and forces her tears back. They form at the edge of her eyes, but do not fall. Because they both know what would happen if they did.
His heart breaks for her, but there is not much he can do.
“Now now, let’s not cry. Your mother doesn’t like it when you cry.” he said as he wiped her cheeks.
She sniffles as he does and Alador thinks of a way he might be able to cheer her up.
“How about I read to you today?” he suggests.
His 6 year old looks stunned at him. He rarely ever read to his children. He hardly spent any time with them ever really. But his little girl was sad, and he wasn’t going to let that stand.
“Can you read Otabin?” she asked quietly.
He chuckled as he ruffled her (now) green hair, “Of course.”
She beamed and nodded. Her smile was enough for him to want to paint her again. He laughed at her chubby smile and dismissed her. He would see her soon anyway. Amity happily hopped out of his office. Almost forgetting about the colour of her hair.
Speaking of which, he had to discuss that with Odalia.
He stared back at the papers laid out before him and sighed. These papers could wait. Perhaps he could do with a drawing break.
Pushing the papers aside, he took out a piece of rigged paper and his water colours. Setting aside a cup of water (that he labelled paint so he didn’t accidentally drink it… again), he dipped his brushes in.
He finds himself dipping it in red. His favourite colour.
He paints the autumn leaves. He paints red curly hair and teal eyes. He paints round glasses and pale white skin. He dressed her in white dress shirts and black vests and he paints her smile just as he remembers it.
He misses her. He misses her smile, her laughs and her hugs. He misses every bit of her and he can’t do anything but yearn for what never was.
Sighing in defeat, he sets the drawing aside and hangs it to dry. His own painting is mocking him. How quaint was that?
A knock on his door is what snaps him out of his thoughts, ordering whoever is there to enter.
It is his son this time, he looks worried.
“Mittens hair is green now. Why papa?” he asked immediately. Wasting no time in formalities.
Alador knew how much Edric adored his and Amity’s chestnut hair colours. He had begged his mother to dye his own not too long ago. He remembers him being scolded and put in time out. He remembers the boy crying.
He also remembers doing nothing about it.
“Do you not like it?” he dodged.
His son shook his head furiously. Going as far as puffing his cheeks. Alador could not contain his laughter and burst at his son’s antics.
“Why don’t you go play with your sister?”
“Em is with Mama. Mittens is in her room. I have no one to play with.”
Alador thinks of how he may entertain his son. He wasn’t opposed to spending time with him. Even with the stacks of paper waiting to be filled on his desk, he wants to be in the presence of his boy.
But he bites back his urges, just as he’s always done.
“How about you go and ask Mortain to play with you. I’ll see you tonight, okay?”
Edric’s ears droop, but he masks his disappointment quickly. It nearly scares Alador just how quickly his children have become actors. Being able to weave words that held empty promises and looks that held no compassion at such a young age.
He is reminded that he was once like this too.
He did not find joy in this.
“Okay Papa,” he says, making his way to the door.
Edric is graceful. Unlike his daughters, he did not need to be taught grace. He naturally flowed with the air around him. Never did he struggle to move a certain way.
But he was also curious. And it got the better of him often.
His mouth did not possess the grace his body did. And he often found himself saying things that Odalia did not approve of.
So upon spotting a redness in his shoulder he can only assume she was the one to put it there.
Alador needed to talk to Odalia.
Abruptly getting up from his seat, he made his way to their bedroom in a messy fashion. It was unbefitting of a Blight to do so, but he is foremost a father.
He just hoped he would remember that.
“Odalia, we need to talk.”
Odalia Blight, formerly a Farechild, liked order. So it was no surprise to see her hair in a perfect bun without a single hair out of place. She was not startled in the slightest when Alador had come in. Looking him up and down, she only noted that he did not look presentable.
“Yes dear?”
“What happened to Edric’s shoulder?”
Odalia’s lips thinned. She knew of Alador’s hesitation when discipline became… physical .
“They boy stepped out of line. I was simply putting him back in.”
“So you hit him?” he asked in disbelief.
“The boy had to be disciplined, Alador. You must understand this.” she said calmly.
Alador’s blood boiled but he masked it well. For like his son, he was better than any actor that lived. For he was a liar. And a remarkable one at that.
“What did he do this time? Ask to dye his hair? Or maybe tell you he wasn’t hungry? Or by god play with some other child you didn’t approve of?” he asked angrily.
He was treading a very thin line, but Alador did not like the thought of inflicting harm on his- their children.
The realization just made the entire ordeal a whole lot worse for him.
“No need to be so emotional, Alador.”
“Then what could he have possibly done to deserve it?”
“The boy asked for a dress, Alador! No son of mine will be so… weak!” she finally snapped.
His blood ran cold at her words. How could she? Hitting her own child for something as simple as a clothing garment. The last thing he remembers is that clothes didn’t have gender. That morality was incredibly 16th century. They were witches for crying out loud.
But then again, the Farechilds were always incredibly old fashioned.
“So let me get this straight. My- our son. Has a bruised shoulder because he asked for a piece of fabric that affects nothing but his happiness. And you think that’s a justified reason?”
“It is not befitting of a boy-”
“HE IS A CHILD ODALIA!” He bellowed, hitting the wall next to him.
Odalia looked her husband up and down. Analyzing every weakness and threat. He feels incredibly exposed under her cunning gaze. Alador cared. That was his weakness. And he knew just as well as her that he could not fight her. For they stood on the same ground. He was no above her than she was to him.
They stood on a balance beam and shared the same name. If one was knocked off, the other would too. They had to find common ground if they both wanted to stay on.
“Are you done with your temper tantrum?” she says, like he was wasting her time.
Alador wanted to say something. He wanted to yell at her. He wanted to do something to make sure his children would not bear the scars of another’s hand.
But he grits his teeth and glares at her. He could not knock her off her throne if he wished to stay on his own.
‘I’m sorry Edric…’ he tells himself.
He walks out the door without another word. He can’t win. And one shouldn’t fight battles they cannot win.
Instead he makes his way towards the many bookshelves and picks out ‘Otabin: The Book Maker” from its place and heads towards the children’s nursery.
He would grit his teeth and bare his soul if it meant the safety of his children.
They would understand this soon.
--x--
Work keeps the mind busy. So it’s no wonder Lilith and Alador do so much of it.
Both worked to the dead of night perfecting their craft. Lilith made sure every one of her potions were perfect. This made her quite popular around the town of Bonesboroug. Even getting a commission or seven from the Emperor himself.
Alador’s abominations were impressive at an immense level. Never did any of them hold a single flaw. They all performed optimum tasks with great efficiency. Never failing to impress the public or the secrecy of the powerful.
Work also distracted the guilt from killing them alive.
So it’s a wonder why they’re out here at a festival.
In all honesty Lilith did not plan on staying there. She had been merely stuck on her way home from closing her library.
The lights and decorations are beautiful, she admits. They look like stars in the night sky. And the laughter of children and their families never fail to make her smile.
The wind blew on her red hair and she sighs. Chills running down her spine. Making her way towards the forest, she’s stopped by a woman who held great resemblance to her mentor.
“Do you happen to be Lilith Clawthorne by any chance?”
The woman was dressed in the most vibrant blue she had ever seen. Her gray hair faded into a light red at the end. She had a bent spine, but if her mentor had taught her anything, it was that looks were often deceiving. She had no doubt that the woman could fight her if she desired to do so.
She hesitated, before answering eventually, “Yes? Do I... know you?”
The old woman chuckled and held out her hand, “I am a distant cousin. You are exactly how old Robby described you in your letters.”
She raised an eyebrow.
Clearing her throat, “Round glasses, red curly hair like the fires of Gran’s furnace. Holds the colour of oceans in both eyes and is useless to no end.” she mocked in Old Robyn’s voice.
Oh that was most definitely her mentor’s words. She would have groaned if not for her great respect for the dead.
“I was sort of offended that she gave everything to you. But now I can see why she did.”
“You… can?”
“Yes. Your eyes hold oceans my darling. Old Robyn always wanted a daughter. She saw you as such I’m sure.”
Lilith blushed, before shaking her head.
“Thank you I guess. Did… did you need something?”
The old woman chuckled before digging through her bag and pulling a deck of cards.
“I want to give you a reading,” she said simply. Showing off her deck of tarots. “Free of charge,” she added before Lilith asked.
Well, she had nothing to lose did she?
“I don’t see why not,” she replied, sitting down in front of her.
The woman shuffled with a great grace her master had presented in her sword technique. They were no doubt related. She could see it in the way they moved with their body parts despite their age. Performing a secret dance in the simplest of movement.
Coming to a stop, she drew out a single tarot and a handful of dice from her pocket. Throwing them messily on the ground. Lilith flinched at the woman’s sudden violent gesture.
“Oh how lucky. You got the first half of the Lover’s Tarot.” she said sweetly, making Lilith slightly uncomfortable.
“Ah. Nice set of numbers too,” she said as she pointed at the glittery dice. “3 kids. Now that’s a handful eh? Oh but you will be so very loved.” she added.
Lilith now believes that the woman before her is crazy. She did not have time to romanticize a life of family and marriage when she had bigger things to deal with. And especially from an outdated magic ritual.
“You have such a funny destiny girl,” she says, interrupting her train of thought.
She chuckled, “It seems that everyone you love is destined to have gold eyes. Beautiful isn’t it?”
And immediately she thinks of her sister and a man she had once been in love with.
‘Stupid Lilith. Quit thinking of them.’ she scolds herself silently.
No matter. He was no longer in her life. And it was for the better anyway.
She’d probably ruin his life too. Because that’s all she ever does.
“Here you go dearie. Take these with you. I promise they will be of great value.”
Lilith takes the items and gives her an awkward smile. They are nice trinkets, she admits. And Lilith is not one to throw away things that she deemed were invaluable. She saw the joy in simple craft. And if she really was Old Robyn’s relative, then she would give them the greatest respects.
“Thank you. But I must be on my way now. I’m quite a busy woman.”
“Very well. And hey, thank you for taking care of our Robby.”
“It was my greatest honour.” she says, before heading towards the woods again.
It’s when a familiar face catches the corner of her eye.
Alador?
She swiftly turns to see that he is no longer there. Perhaps it was her mind playing tricks again. The dumb ritual was probably getting into her head.
The Lover’s Tarot? Such a stupid thing to pull out to her of all people. Lilith had been in love only once before. She’d rate the experience a 3/10 and leave it at that.
But then again, most people did not fall in love with their best friends who would later be arranged to marry her worst enemy. So really she guesses that part was a bit her fault.
No matter she tells herself as she shoves the dice into the pockets of her skirt. Taking the card in her hands, she caresses the artistry on them. It’s a nice mural all things considered. So it wasn’t a complete loss of time.
Where was she again? Oh right. Home.
She heads towards her cottage again. And this time, there are no distractions.
--x--
Alador stops in his tracks when he thinks he sees a patch of red hair.
Snapping his head back, he sees that he is right.
Lilith.
Pushing himself through the crowd, he scolds himself for going after her. He’s married for Titan’s sake. And she probably was too.
He curses himself when he loses her in the sea of people.
“Excuse me sir?”
He turns to see an old woman dressed head to foot in the deepest blue silk. Head gray but he thinks the ends are a bit of orange. Her spine curls but looks as though to have a strong build.
“Yes?”
“Could I perhaps give you a reading? Free of charge if you will.”
“I have an Oracle for a wife ma’am. I do not believe I will be needing one.” he says simply. Preparing to make his way back to the festival.
“Does your wife know 13th century Oracle Training?” she asked smuggly.
Fascinating.
As useless as it appeared, Alador knew better than to judge Savage Age magic. It was incredibly advanced and even dangerous to perform. Not to mention incredibly accurate.
He doesn’t know if the woman is crazy or not.
“Alright. I have nothing to lose.” he muttered, sitting in front of the old woman.
He saw as the woman moved in fluid motion, as if she was animating in one swift motion. He is impressed with the mere shuffling of cards. It baffles him that she was able to capture his attention with an action as simple as that.
The woman sure was something.
Gently letting go of the dice in her hand, the numbers 6, 17 and 3 presented themselves. And she handed him a single ornate tarot card.
“The second half of the Lover’s tarot. How lucky.” she says sweetly.
She would not be saying that if she knew what his wife was really like.
“And would you look at that. You got a nice set of numbers too. I see great happiness in your future.” she told him, feeding his hungry eyes.
He doesn’t want to give himself false hope. It was incredibly foolish to believe every good thing he heard. It was not befitting for a Blight.
“But let me tell you something important, young man. When you see a woman with eyes that bear the ocean, I want you to hold onto her. Do you understand?”
Alador stares at the woman as she holds out the tarot card for him to take. He takes it with hesitation. Wondering what value a silly card could have when he had literally the world at his feet.
He also ignores the words ‘woman with eyes that bear the ocean’ and the woman that came into mind at that.
“All… Alright.” he mutters as he laced his fingers through the cardboard.
“Good child. Now go to your children. They are waiting for you.”
He gaps like a fish and the woman simply said “All Seeing Eye child. Don’t ask questions.”
Eyeing the dice in his hands, he shakes his head and makes way to his kids. Amity laughed on the ferris wheel holding the hand of a girl her age. A single most fragile smile tugged on his lips. His daughter was happy. Maybe the festival wasn’t as useless as he thought.
“Oh Robyn. The things I do for your kids.” the old woman said as she made her way out of Bonesborough.
“Not to worry dear cousin. That Lily girl of yours will be just fine.”