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“You know,” Van said breathily after finally pulling away from kissing Dorian, “I think I might just be the luckiest man in Thedas.” It was a feeling he’d thought a lot about, but he’d tried not to get too terribly sentimental when they snuck away to his room for a little privacy.
“Is that so?” Dorian asked, raising an eyebrow. It wasn't hard for Van to see that he already liked where the conversation seemed to be heading.
So, he’d indulge him a little. “Oh, yes. That I get to make the excuse that we need to talk and it actually gets you up here in my room kissing me? Very lucky, even if I’m sure everyone’s caught on by now.”
“Flattery, then! You do realize I’m already kissing you, Evanariel?” he kissed Van softly for emphasis.
A content hum of a laugh escaped the other man as he pulled away again, this time repositioning himself on the couch in a manner that suggested he’d actually like to talk. “I know, but that’s just it. If someone told me two months we’d be up here making out on my couch, I’d have told them it was impossible.”
Dorian barked out a laugh as he relaxed into the couch. “Impossible? You were flirting with me every chance you got, I find it hard to believe impossible was a word you even knew.”
Van’s face flushed, slowly turning a brilliant red. “I...there may have been something said that made me believe you just enjoyed the attention I was giving you, nothing more than that. That you’d no interest beyond the flattery I was most definitely stowing upon you.”
“And who’s the loudmouth that would give you such an idea?”
“Well, I wouldn't exactly call you a loudmouth, Dorian, but if you insist…”
“Ridiculous, absolutely absurd,” Dorian looked taken aback, probably wondering how in Andraste's name he had done that. Certainly he hadn't said those words himself, he’d know!
Van nodded in full agreement, “Isn't it now? You might have noticed for a while I stopped with the flirting entirely. I’d given up hope you were actually interested in the way I very desperately wanted you to be.”
“Now that you've mentioned it?" Dorian asked, his expression turning contemplative. "Yes, I seem recall that your compliments stopped rather unexpectedly, though I've no clue what I might have said to have brought that on.”
“Honestly?” Van felt his face stop burning quite as much as it was when he’d decided to bring this up. Rather, he was still very relieved that none of it had been intentional. “It was something you said while we were discussing Felix, when you’d received word of his passing.” Dorian moved to interrupt him, possibly to say that he and Felix, indeed, had never been together, but Van held up a hand to stop him from going into it at length.
“It was probably my fault for prying, but it was when I’d asked if you two had been together. I’m actually ashamed of just how desperate I was for real confirmation that you were into men that the question...sort of slipped out.” He fiddled with his fingers, looking down at them before continuing, “I don’t know exactly what I was hoping for. A ‘yes’, a ‘no’, a ‘well we thought about it but it never happened’...I hadn't, however, counted on you remarking what an odd question it was to ask. The rest of your answer seemed so typical that it...really threw me off.”
Dorian just looked at him incredulously for a moment. From the sounds of it, Van guessed he’d tried to start a sentence several times, but failed to do so. He really couldn't blame him for it, either.
“I certainly hadn't thought it strange to ask considering that you two were close, and that you seemed to be very receptive to my previous flirting,” Van gave him an apologetic smile, “I then thought that maybe you thought the attention I gave you was strange, that you were only playing along with it to...to keep me appeased or something. I’m not sure I know anymore.”
“You gathered all that from me saying it was odd?” Dorian had finally found his words. He didn't seem too pleased to have what he'd said taken the way it had been, but he waited for Van to say something.
“Dorian, you've no idea the mess my thoughts were then. I don’t think my official appointment as Inquisitor helped much, between that and the stress of everything that had been happening up until then?” Van sighed, leaning in towards Dorian. “I’m not sure many of the thoughts I was having made sense, really. There are a hundred things I might have said looking back on it that could've clarified what you’d meant, but at the time I just...I took it all wrong.”
“Do you mean to tell me that you only truly figured it out when we met with my father?” a short, tickled laugh escaped Dorian. It shouldn't be funny, but it was just too tragic not to be. “You poor man, I finally understand why I thought you seemed completely flummoxed in the situation. Because you were.”
“Oh, you didn't catch onto that at the time?” Van laughed as well at this. Looking back on it? Well, he’d definitely had his better moments, and none of them had been in that tavern. “I don’t think I could have made a worse first impression if I’d tried. Butting in and asking you to explain what you meant by preferring the company of men...again, very selfish of me, but I’m sure that it did me no favors. Especially considering the stuttering mess I was right then.”
“You did stutter, didn't you?” Dorian asked, “You stuttered and...you said you hadn't realized.”
“More that I hadn't dared to keep hoping, but, I was having problems getting out the right words. It was a very frustrating time for me.” Evanariel shifted and stood up from the couch, opting to straddle Dorian’s legs instead when he sat back down. “I’m much happier now that I’m not worried about the attention I give you being unwelcome.”
Dorian simply leaned in and placed his forehead against Van’s, closing his eyes. “I could say the same. However, I’m going to take your little hint to heart instead of continuing on, yes?” He didn't wait for answer before going ahead and kissing him.
Van responded only by kissing him back. He felt he’d maybe been a little too sappy in the way he'd gone about it, but he’d thought it important to tell Dorian just how much he wanted him to be here. Even if it...had been in a very roundabout way, the message was still there, right? That was what counted.