Chapter Text
Thalia was observing how his son was resting peacefully. She could not quite remember the last time she had seen her boy sleep like that. Probably never, she thought. Back at the league Damian always was a light sleeper, paranoid, and always aware of his surroundings, sleeping as a soldier to sleep in a way he could wake up and defend himself fast.
But it was not like he did not had the motives to do so back then.
She smiled as she observed him sleep in his room at the manor, she wish she could see his son awake and talk to him right now, but she would not be able to hold herself if he was awake, it would be too painful.
"Thalia, what are you doing here!?" He heard Bruce, his beloved whisper at her, he was ready to fight. "You will not take my son, you lost all rights over Damian a long time ago."
Yes, she had, some years ago when she had disowned him, but now Damian was 15, almost 16, he was already a teenager.
She got down of the tree and got closer to his beloved.
"I am not here for that beloved, I just wanted to see him, and I need to speak with you."
Bruce tensed.
"But not here, I would not want to disturb Damian nor wake him up."
They both got down to the Batcave, Thalia never understood why her beloved worked in such a cold place, she had never liked the cold. Bruce interrupted her thoughts as he got to the computer and glared at her.
"Talk."
Thalia inhaled before explaining herself.
"You have noticed the same color of eyes that my son, my father and I share right?" Bruce nodded. "You may had suspected it before, but it is not natural, my eyes were brown a long time ago, and so were Damian's. It all changed after the Lazarus Pit of course, as you noticed with Jason and his eyes."
Bruce frowned. "I dont see were youre going Thalia-"
Thalia signed him to keep silent. "I am not done, you probably do not know this, but the Pits are almost completely gone, my father has just one more left, and I am afraid it is the last one in the entire world..." Thalia looked down for a moment, and looked at Bruce again. "He does not wants to share them with us..."
"Us?"
"Me and Damian beloved. I am afraid that after the amount of times we have used the Lazarus Pits...we have uh created a dependance to them, we are only alive thanks to being able to use them after certain amount of time, and our time is running out. I would not be surprised if Damian is starting to show symptoms just as I soon will."
"Thalia this isn't true, Damian is fine he-"
"Is he, beloved? Is my son really fine? Or is he just being the great actor he is thanks to the league that he always liked to be? After all, it would not be the first time he is hiding an illness."
Bruce crossed his arms. "I dont understand it, if there is just one Lazarus Pit is left why cant we bring Damian to it?"
"Im afraid it would not work for long Bruce, and after all, my father will use it as fast as he shows symptoms, after it, I finally will have an opportunity to kill him, in the meanwhile he will have the best of the best taking care of the pit, it will be impossible, even for you, to get there alive."
Bruce was slowly realizing what this meant. He would loose his son, again. And he was refusing to believe it.
"Of course I can, I could bring all the family!"
"Beloved-"
"Maybe Superman too or part of the JL-"
"Bruce"
"We could all bring Damian to the pit and-"
"Bruce!"
Bruce finally stopped, he knew he was not thinking rationally, he didnt cared.
"Beloved, please, you have no idea how much I would want that too...but what after it? What if any of you do not get out of there alive? How would Damian feel about it? What if Damian does not makes it out of there, it would be in vain...it is too risky, and it would be for nothing, maybe he would just get till 18, maybe he will get through 21 birthday at most, would you risk it all, risk the rest of your family, just so Damian can live a couple of years more."
Bruce knew she was right, Damian would not want to feel responsable of any death just so he could live a little more.
"You already gave him a second chance Bruce, a second life, in more than one way, now let him enjoy the last months of it, do not waste them on searching a way for him to live longer, it is not possible, I know it."
Bruce wanted to cry so bad, but he wouldn't do it in front of Thalia, then another painful thought came to his mind, what about Jason? What about his other son? Will he die again too? He wouldnt be able to get through his two sons dying for a second time.
"What about Ja-"
"He will be fine Bruce, he only used the pit once, as I told you, we developed a dependence because of the amounts of times we used them."
That...that meant Damian had used the pit more than once, probably much more times, and it hurt him as a father to know it, to know that he hadnt been able to save his son sooner, if he had known before, if he had took him when he was younger...maybe he would have avoided all this problem and saved Damian from most of the horrors he had been through his life...
Bruce stopped himself from thinking further, there were no ifs, and it would be of no use to him or Damian. He needed to focus. He turned back at Thalia.
But she was already gone. And Bruce had a feeling that it would be the last time he would see her.
He didnt cared to follow her, it would be of no use.
Bruce got upstairs after changing to civilian clothes, and walked through the halls toward his room. He stopped as usual in the other rooms, his sons' rooms.
Dick, Jason and Tim were visiting. Dick had taken a few days off from his work due to a concussion and his brothers had forced him to take some rest. Jason had been visiting a lot recently, their relationship had improved a lot recently, they were not at the same point they were before, but they would get there eventually. At least that is what Bruce hoped for. Both of his eldest were asleep.
And Tim kinda lived half of the time in the manor and half of the time with his team, he was still awake on his room, he was working on a case. "Hey B, I was just about to go to-" He yawned, and looked at Bruce. "Are you ok?" He said concerned.
Bruce hadn't noticed how he was crying silently, he had some tears on his eyes, he wiped them as he entered the room and sat at the feet of Tim's bed.
"You...you know you can talk to us do you?"
Bruce nodded. "Thalia was here, I just talked to her a few minutes ago."
Tim tensed as he closed his laptop. "What did she wanted? Was she here for Damian? Are you all right? Is Damian all right?"
"That's the thing...she came to talk, she warned me about something." Bruce told Tim about everything, Tim listened to him silently as he nodded, not showing emotions until he realized what it meant.
"What are you going to do? Will you tell Damian, or do you think he already knows?"
"I'm sure he already knows something's up, I believe Thalia in the fact that he is hiding the fact that he is not feeling well, but I dont think that he knows what is going on."
They both stayed silent, both of them in their own thoughts.
"Im planning on telling him tomorrow morning, we will tell the rest on the afternoon, I probably shouldnt have told you, but I just-"
Tim nodded, he understood.
Bruce stayed in his room for a little longer before finally heading out.
He entered to Damian's room, he watched him sleep with music on, and with Titus and Alfred (the cat obviously) at his bed.
He probably stayed in the door for too long, before he headed back to his room.
He wasn't able to sleep that night.
***
Damian woke up with a headache, he felt as if he hadn't rested at all, it had been like that for the last couple of days...maybe weeks. His body ached too, sometimes it was worse, like as if he was burning, but he knew that feeling, this was nothing compared to it.
He took a shower and decided he would not take Titus on his daily morning walk, he would do it after breakfast, maybe that would help him get some energies back.
"Master Damian, I hoped you rested well, you father had mentioned yesterday a morning training with you."
Damian lied about the fact that he hadn't rest at all. And mentally swore because of the fact that he had forgot his morning training with father.
And speaking of the devil...
"Damian! Son, Im glad to see youre already awake, can I have a moment with you?"
Damian did a mental list of all the things that his father could possibly want to talk about. He hadn't fought much with Drake recently, he had respected father and Pennyworth, he hadn't disobeyed father as Robin...at least not too much. And he hadn't talked much with Grayson and Todd during the last week.
"It's not anything bad you did." His father told him as they both entered the studio. His father closed the door behind him. He seemed nervous, maybe a bit sad too. So maybe it wasnt anything bad that Damian did. But it was something bad after all.
"What about the morning training father?" He asked, even when he mentally thanked any God or being for it being mostly probably cancelled.
"We...we wont do it. I just need to talk to you."
(Omg this is getting so long in my head that I'm thinking about making this as a short story of its own or a series of one-shots, but nooo I want to see were it ends lol, like I want to write around 5000 words but I dont think Im capable of doing it in just one seat....or maybe I will be able?)
Damian was already worried, but he was getting even more worried, why would father wanted to talk to him and only him for something bad that he did not do, (or probably), and not with all the rest of the family at the same time?
His father took a deep breath. "Thalia visited yesterday."
Oh...
oh.
"Wait? Mother visited? Why?" And how had he not know about it? Or even noticed it?
"Yes, at night, you were asleep, I'm surprised you didnt wake up." Bruce let out a sigh. "She wanted to talk..."
"Talk about what father?"
"She said something about a Lazarus Pit dependence..."
Bruce told his son all about what had happened the night before, he didnt mentioned the fact that he also told Tim, he would tell him later.
"I...I had heard mother mention the...secondary effects that the Lazarus pits could do on someone, but I never really got the chance to see it before, I probably had required to use the pit in so short amount of time that I never had to deal with all that before."
"Damian, please, I want...I need to know if you have been hiding any of this symptoms from me."
"Yes father, I did...but I swear I only got a small flu that wasnt important, it had just been being tired, headaches and my body hurting, nothing too important."
Bruce was sad about the fact that his son still believed that him being sick wasnt important.
"Son, I know you think a small flu isnt important, but anything is important if it is bothering you, I hope you understand that."
Damian nodded looking down. He was still processing the things his father had said.
"Father...so Im dying?"
Bruce stayed quiet, he couldnt bring himself to tell him that he was in those words, but they both knew the reality so it would be just useless to try to convince them both that he wasnt.
His father's silence was all Damian needed to accept the reality.
"Damian we can still try to get to the pit-"
"No father, we cant do that, why doing it for just so little time to all of it to repeat again. Mother is right, it would be selfish and useless."
So this is how death would get him again for once and for all? Not even before he got to finish high school? It had all been useless, his resurrection all those years ago and the sacrifices his family had made to get him back.
Life was unfair, but Damian already knew that, he just wished he could be a little boy again, believing things would get better.
He started crying at some point, and the next thing he knew was that his father was hugging him.
He cried without caring for once in his life.
"Father...can I ask you something?" He asked to his father.
"Of course son, what is it?"
"After I die...if you ever find a way to bring me back, could you...could you not? Could you let me rest please?"
Bruce hugged his son tighter as he cried.
"Dad, please...I want you to promise me."
And Bruce used all his will of power to answer his son's request.
"Ok Damian...I promise."
***
They called a family reunion in the afternoon with everyone that was at the manor at the moment.
Damian was sitting in a couch at the library at his father's side, he had fallen asleep at some point while he was reading and his father had woke him a few minutes ago.
"B what is it? I was just about to go out with Roy." Jason complained, but he knew it had to be important judging the tone Bruce had told him to go to the meeting. And the fcat that Alfred was there too.
"Yeah Bruce youre scarring us" Dick said.
"Who died?" Jason joked.
Bad choice of words, the room's mood changed.
Dick opened his eyes when he saw the face on Bruce, Tim and Damian.
"Ok guys now youre truly scarring me, is someone dead?!" He panicked.
"No one is dead Richard, dont be foolish." Damian tried to said that in a deadpanned tone, but his voice cracked. "At least not yet..." He murmured, but his family still heard him.
"What do you mean with not yet demon? Who is dying? Is it Bruce?" Jason looked at the man to see any confirmation, it was a relief when he shook him head.
Bruce looked at Damian to support him, but mostly to ask him without words if he wanted him to tell them.
Damian shook his head, I can do it, he told himself.
"My mother came yesterday," Dick almost gasped, and Jason almost punched something, Alfred stayed quiet, and Tim...didnt looked surprised for some reason. "She said some things about secondary effects of the multiple times I used the pit..."
"The pit's dependance." Jason said with eyes wide open. He was starting to understand were all this was going to, and he didnt liked it. He had heard about it back when he was in the league.
"Whats the pit dependance?" Dick asked.
"It is a dependance people form when they use the pit too much, I didnt developed it because I just used it once, but Damian on the other hand...he should use the pit after a couple of years, sometimes more, if he wants to keep living."
"When was the last time you used a pit Damian?"
Damian didnt had to try hard, it had been exactly 9 months before he had meet his father.
"So that was years ago..." Dick said.
"I dont understand, why dont we bring you to a new pit if you need it so badly? Of course I dont like the idea much, but it is the only way isnt it?"
Damian nodded.
"The only problem is that there is only one pit left, not much of it, and Ras refuses to let Thalia or Damian use it." Bruce said.
"It would be selfish, careless and useless if I use it, it would only expand my life a couple of years, but no more. And then I would die either way."
Dick started shaking his head, refusing to believe it, his little brother, his Robin, he couldnt-
"But we can try Dames, we can bring you-"
"Richard, stop."
"No Damian! I will not let you die again and so easily when we can do something about it, I will not-"
Dick was interrupted by a coughing fit he got that made his head feel dizzy and his throat taste like blood.
And indeed there was some blood in his hand.
"Symptoms have already started?" Jason asked preoccupied.
Damian nodded. "Yes, they have been going for a couple of weeks, but the coughing is new." He said looking as his feet, after dizziness was gone he looked at his oldest brother. "Dick, please, I have my reasons, and I hope you understand it."
He stood up to go to his room, Drake and his father helped him.
When they arrived, they put Damian on his bed, he was feeling exhausted, today was a bad day.
"Timothy..." He said before they left.
"Since when have I become Timothy?" Tim asked, their relationship had gotten better, but not that good.
Damian tried to roll his eyes. If he was about to die for good in less than a year, he wanted to at least show his family he cared and loved them.
"You did not seemed surprised about anything."
"I told him" his father said. "Right after Thalia left, I just needed someone to speak to."
Damian nodded, he had told Tim before him, but he had been asleep. He would have gotten very angry probably a few months ago, but right now he didnt had the energy to care, not when he didnt knew how long he had, he didnt wanted to die while being angry at his family.
He wouldn't make the same thing twice, if he died again, for good, he wanted to be in good terms with everyone, and that included Tim and his father.
And at some point, he felt asleep.
(oopsssss so did I lol, I felt asleep while writing this lmao)
***
The next couple of days Alfred let him sleep longer than usual. Weird. But Damian was not feeling like he just had some extra hours of sleep.
He looked at the clock, it was past noon, lunchtime.
Damian stood up, maybe too quickly, it took him almost an entire minute to gain balance and see perfectly again.
Someone had already took Alfred the cat and Titus out, and probably took Titus for his daily walk that Damian hadn't took him yesterday.
A couple of minutes more and he had already taken a shower and dressed up. Today was a better day than yesterday, he could feel it.
As he walked down the stairs he noticed lunch wasn't served yet, he could see Pennyworth in the kitchen cooking, and Tim was at the table on his laptop, probably doing something college-related. Which reminded Damian that he still had homework to finish.
He didn't understood what was the point of doing his homework, he wouldn't finish the year anyways. Maybe it was just so the press wouldn't suspect, or because Bruce still wanted to give him a sense of normality as long as he could give him.
"Good morni-afternoon Pennyworth."
"Master Damian." Alfred greeted the teenager. God, he was still only a teenager. Alfred thought.
"So do I help you with that?" Damian signed at the stuff the butler was cooking.
"Oh it's fine master Damian, I don't require assistance right now."
"Oh." Damian said, and then took the dishes to place them in the table as he normally would do when he helped Alfred.
"Don't worry Master Damian, Tim was already going to help me with those."
Tim heard his name and looked up from his laptop.
"I was?" He asked confused, then he saw the look on Alfred. "Uh yeah! I-I was let me just..."
Damian frowned when he understood what was going on.
Tim noticed his frown.
"You know Alfred, I still have to do some stuff about those admissions for college...but I'm sure the grem-Damian! Can still help you."
Alfred glared at the young adult.
"Master Tim-"
"Tt, I understand Pennyworth, thank you Timothy, just tell me when it's time to eat."
Damian left the kitchen and decided to head to the bat ave. It was already noon so he could go to the bat cave.
Dick was in there, he was talking to Barbara who had been invited to eat with them.
Damian decided to ignore them and go straight towards the mats, he hadn't been able to come down to the bat cave for training and he was starting to feel anxious, he needed it.
He started stretching a bit before he took a katana and decided to turn on the simulator, nothing out of usual, Damian thought.
Or at least until he had already beaten two levels of it and Richard came running to him as a lunatic.
"Damian! Stop! What the hell are you doing?!"
Damian almost got hit because of the condition, emphasis on the almost.
"Tt, training of course? Or had no one told me that aside from your concussion you got blind too?"
Dick didn't responded him and just turned off the thing. "Damian stop it, you're in no conditions of do this."
Damian rolled his eyes, he was about to answer to his older brother until a bad headache hit him. Timothy was still working on those pills to help his headaches, because normal pills wouldn't help him, so he just tried to his it as well as he could in front of Grayson.
"See? What if you feel bad while training? Damian you're sick you can't-"
"I'm perfectly aware of my condition Grayson. Now if you will act so stupidly I shall leave you here so you won't keep bothering me."
And with that he left the cave, leaving the couple alone.
"You know Dick, you should let Damian be, he did told you about the fact that he has been having all the symptoms for weeks right?"
Dick nodded.
"And he has still been pretty good at being Robin, so unless there's a big problem with him at the moment, you should let him do his stuff, he's not a kid anymore, you can't protect him like that...even if he's, you know. 'Sick'."
Her boyfriend didn't answered. Damian was his little boy, he just...wish things could be easier for him.
Even if he had been fighting well during his recent trainings, his ribs could confirm it.
(Omggg I'm writing this now on an airplane and damn I think I just broke a bone the other day that I felt, because I hit it again accidentally and it hurtsss-)
Damian was angry, he went upstairs, maybe he could read something during his free time while Timothy and Pennyworth finish the lunch.
He was surprised to find his father at the library, he would normally be at his studio or WE around this time of the day.
"Damian, I didn't knew you were already awake."
"Of course father, it's almost lunch time, why would I still be resting?" Damian would love to have some more rest, but he would just waste time, he knew it was useless, it didn't mattered how long he sleep, he
would always be tired.
Bruce just shrugged his arms and continued looking at some papers he had placed on the desk.
"What are you doing?" Damian asked curious, maybe he could help his father with whatever he was doing.
"It's a case, WE related, someone apparently stole some of the money that was supposed to go to the charity, and I have motives to believe it was some of the money the penguin has been using, I just need a way to connect it."
"Oh I can help-" Damian got a closer look at the documents, they were some financial stuff with graphics on it, and some notes with father's handwriting.
His father covered them with his hand and looked at Damian, "uh, I think food is ready, why don't you go ask Alfred?"
Damian didn't protested, he did frowned at his father, but the man was already too invested in his documents to notice it.
Lunch wasn't ready yet, soDamian decided to go out to check on Batcow, who was currently taking fresh air outside the manor, after checking the cow, he found Todd, who was carrying some boxes into a car.
"Demon! Hey can you help me with this stuff? There are some other boxes right in the entrance."
Damian picked the boxes and helped Jason carry them.
Jason noticed how the teen was looking at the boxes, "Oh, they are some stuff I ordered online for my apartment, I asked Bruce if I could pick them here because it would be kind of dangerous to leave them at my door and have someone looking at them or taking them." He closed the car's door and gave Damian a friendly punch in the shoulder.
"Thanks Dames."
"My name is Damian, use it."
"Sure Demon."
"Tt." Damian watched as Jason entered to the manor.
"Thank you Todd."
Lunch was finally ready, Damian seriously didn't knew what took them so long. It must have been the fact that they didn't got Damian's help, he always finished first.
As they ate lunch they were talking about Barbara and Dick getting back together, and Tim teased Dick about if he would finally would stop being so scared of taking the next step.
"Nah, I'm pretty sure it's gonna be Babs who makes the question." Jason said.
"Yeah, no offense Richard, but I'm pretty sure Gordon will ask you because you're too much of a coward."
Dick protested and Barbara grinned. The discussions continued for some more minutes.
"Ok,ok, now if you're done with teasing Dick, I think we should all take our dishes to the kitchen, Dick could you pick Damian's?" Bruce said.
"I'm perfectly capable of bringing my own plate father."
Dick ignored his protests and took his dish. "Just let me take it Damian."
"No, everyone else is taking their dishes, why not me too?"
"Damian-"
"All of you are treating me as if I'm invalid! Which I'm not! Even Pennyworth isn't letting me help him! Only Todd is treating me the same, and Drake let me do things! Even if he is treating me differently, more nicely! I'm perfectly capable of doing things and I'm fine!"
"You're not fine Dames! You're dying! My little brother's dying and I can't do anything about it!"
"Don't you think I know that?!"
"No! You just try to ignore it! But it's us who are going to have to see you die, it's us the ones that are seeing you get sicker, it's me who will have to bury his little brother twice because I could help him! I will have to wake up someday soon, and know that you're not here to live it with me!"
Damian stayed quiet, Dick was probably tearing at this point. He didn't knew what to do, normally it would be Dick the one comforting him, not the other way around, he wasn't good at it...he just-
"The cycle of life is the younger watching the older die, not the other way...not again..."
Damian hadn't showed it, but he was scared of being sick. Scared he didn't knew how long he had left, and scared that they would forget him.
"I'm sorry Damian, it's just, why does it has to be you? It's so unfair..."
Damian knew life was unfair, but not for him, but for his family, for his siblings and his father, they had already lost people, lost Damian already, and they would loose him again, and Damian wasn't going to do anything to change it. He deserved it, and he had already got another chance to live, it would be too much.
Damian just hugged Dick, trying to comfort the eldest.
"I'm sorry" Damian said.
***
A couple of days passed after it, it had been a week since Thalia had told Bruce about Damian's state.
Damian hadn't patrolled in almost an entire month, and Gotham had noticed it. People were fast at noticing it and making theories, seriously, those people didn't had anything better to do.
Some of the people said he was dead, some said he had moved and didn't wanted to be Robin anymore, just like what happened with Richard.
Damian couldn't take it anymore.
His father was down at the cave, he was about to put his suit on, when he noticed Damian being there.
"Damian, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be asleep."
"I don't have school tomorrow father..."
Bruce raised an eyebrow, he already had an idea of what his son wanted, but still waited for him to speak.
Damian took a breath and looked his father directly into his eyes with a poker face.
"I still want to go to patrol father"
Bruce stayed silent, his son had been telling him for days, and he knew it wasn't going to be long until he found a way to go solo, and Bruce didn't wanted to risk it.
"Fine, just because I know you will end up going one way or another."
Damian opened his eyes as he stood up to run towards his Robin uniform. Bruce stopped him before he reached it. He could see the light on his son's eyes, a light that had been gone for almost a week.
"But I need you to promise me that you will tell me when it has become to much, I wouldn't like to loose you even sooner."
He nodded, this time, unlike so many other times he had been sick or injured, he wasn't lying.
"I will father."
Bruce smiled at his son.
***
Robin was struggling after a couple of hours.
Batman hadn't took his sight out of his boy, Damian hide it well while fighting, but in the moment they had to run and swing through the city he was slower than normal.
They stopped at one of the rooftops, to let Robin catch up his breath.
"You ok Robin?"
Robin nodded.
Batman glared at him, he knew he wasn't telling the truth.
"Nothing out of normal, I just need a few minutes and I'll be ready."
The vigilante nodded and took a look to Gotham, she looked darker than usual. But that was probably because of the way last week had been.
None of them had had it easy, specially Damian, (And Dick, but he had already talked to his eldest son), even if his youngest tried to act as normal as he could, maybe just more nicely than usual.
Batman started thinking about what he could do to cheer his son up, maybe it would help with his health too.
He knew what he was going to do.
"Robin, how long has it been since you patrolled with Superboy?" He asked to his son.
He could almost see the excitement his son was trying to hide through his mask.
It wasn't hard to plan a patrol for both boys, Clark was very happy when Bruce called him to ask if Jon could come to Gotham for patrolling. Apparently Jon had been asking nonstop about Damian and Clark didn't really knew how to tell Jon about Damian's condition. And Bruce knew Clark wasn't good at lying to his son, he was surprised he had been that good so far to respect Damian's privacy.
He wanted the boys to patrol in Gotham so he could keep and eye on Damian, not that he didn't trust Clark to keep an eye on his son in metropolis, but he just wanted to be cautious.
The day finally arrived, and Damian couldn't see the time when Jon would arrive to the place they had agreed.
For once in his life, he saw the boy with the S meeting him on time.
"Damian! Good to see you! I was getting worried about you, I haven't exactly heard about you in the last couple of days." Jon told him as he landed in a rooftop near him.
"Names Superboy, and don't you have superpowers to hear anything?"
Superboy rolled his eyes. "Yes Robin, I do have superpowers, but you always talk about privacy and stuff that-"
"So the fact that my house is specifically designed you you supers can't hear us does not have something to do with it."
"Well maybe."
Damian almost smiled at Jon's pout, almost.
"Anyways, it's good to see you Robin."
"It's good to see you too Superboy."
***
Damian's 16th birthday finally arrived, he knew they would throw a gala at night, but at least he could enjoy the rest of the day with his family, this time even Cass, Steph and Duke were coming, and so would Jon and Collin, who had convinced his adoptive parents to let him go to Gotham and visit him.
For the first time in all the years that he had lived with his father, the man had let him skip school for his birthday. He just had to promise to do all the work that they would do today and homework. At least Maps could help him passing him the notes.
"Good morning Master Damian" Alfred woke him up as usual, but this time he walked towards his grandson and hugged him. "Happy birthday boy, you've grown so much..."
Damian hugged the man, Alfred almost never did such showings of affection, he wanted to remember this one for the rest of his days. The man had always been for him when the rest of the family wasn't.
His birthday breakfast was already waiting for him in the kitchen, which was some pancakes with vanilla ice cream and sparkles, and incredible bid amount of sugar, but Damian did not cared for once.
They had put a candle on it.
"Happy birthday little D!" Dick yelled happily.
"I'm not deaf Richard, I can hear you just fine without you screaming." Damian didn't tried to hide his smile.
"But why not, my little brother is all grown up! I have to say that it did helped you...you were kind of ugly when you first arrived."
"Hey!"
Dick laughed as he hid behind Tim, who was still sleepy because he hadn't took his coffee yet.
Damian was about to chase the acrobat when his father put a hand on his shoulder.
"Why don't you go and blow your candle? You wouldn't like to eat your pancakes cold would you?" He said with a smile and then glared at Dick.
Dick silently thanked him and took a seat at the table.
All of them started singing happy birthday, and as always, Damian didn't knew what he was supposed to do, was it like that for everyone? Or just for him because of all the happy birthday songs he had missed? He silently and awkwardly waited for his family to finish and make a wish.
"Sweet Sixteen Dames! What did you wished for?"
"It's a secret, wishes aren't supposed to be told." Damian answered his siblings.
His father eventually had to leave to WE, promising to be back as soon as possible for his birthday lunch at the garden.
The rest of the morning went by pretty fast, Damian took Titus out on his morning walk, accompanied by Tim, who didn't talked much with him as usual, he was mostly there in case he started to feel bad.
When Damian arrived back at the manor he checked the mailbox to see if his mother had sent him anything. They didn't had the best relationship recently, but she had sent some birthday gifts...including a dead robin, but it was better than nothing to know she was ok...in her weird murderous assassin way of ok.
Nothing came, Alfred promised to tell him if something arrived.
Collin arrived a couple of hours later, his parents told Damian they would come back for him at 7 pm, because they had to take an airplane tomorrow morning. Damian knew that Collin's parents didn't liked him, but Damian had told Collin about his 'sickness' and they had told his parents that Damian was ill, which wasn't a lie, so they understood that Collin would want to see him again.
"Here! I bought you this!" They were some color pencils, Damian analyzed them more closely, they were handmade color pencils, the quality wasn't the best one, but the colors were incredible and varied.
"I made them myself" Collin said proudly with a smile, "I remember how much you like art and I asked my uncle if he could teach me after I saw him doing one for his daughter."
Damian almost hugged him right there. "Thank you, I like them."
Collin understood what Damian really meant.
They both started talking about stuff and decided to play video games while waiting for the rest to arrive, surprisingly, Jon wasn't too late, he arrived with his parents, who were also invited, and almost tackled the birthday boy.
When finally everyone (including the girls, and some of his sibling's friends) arrived, they got to garden, were they had already placed a picnic place for them to eat, there were also some decorations like balloons (thanks to Dick) a table for the gifts and a table for drinks and food. It was pretty simple, but it was exactly like Damian had wanted it.
The time to open the gifts came, Jon got him a new video game, Jason got him a katana, Bruce a violin he asked, Dick had told him he would take him to the new zoo and art gallery for his gift, some of the other have brought him stuff like clothes, money, art stuff, and gift cards.
"Hey where's Tim?" Someone finally asked when everyone had gave him their gifts but him.
"Over here!" Damian turned around to look at his brother, who was holding a little puppy on his arms with a green necklace.
"Found her on a shelter, her name's Ari."
Damian didn't even tried to hide his excitement, his eyes opened as he got closer to the dog. He looked at Tim, as if asking if he could carry her.
"Here, she's yours after all, I thought Titus would like a friend to play with."
"Yes, Titus most certainly will." Damian smiled, for the rest of the party he didn't let go of Ari, who didn't minded much."
A couple of more hours passed, and Damian was taking to Jon and Collin, when he looked at Tim and Jason, who gave him a look.
"I hate when you do that, it's like if you could understand everything between you with one look." Collin said.
"Yeah sometimes I'm pretty sure you bats have powers to read minds...and been scary." Jon joked.
"Tt. Stop being foolish, now carry take Ari for some minutes while I do something."
He didn't cared to hear his friends' answers, and went directly to Dick.
"Richard come help me with the cake." Dick didn't doubted for a second and followed the teen.
"So, Dami, you enjoying the party?"
"It's...acceptable." Damian opened the kitchen's door. "Thanks."
Dick smiled, after all he had organized it too.
Damian looked at the clock, the walk to the kitchen had been around 5 minutes, that would make 10 in total, he hoped it was enough.
"What are you looking at?"
He looked at his brother quickly "uh, it appears Pennyworth already took the cake to the garden."
Damian grabbed Dick's hand and pulled him out of the kitchen. Dick thought it was weird, but didn't said anything.
When they arrived to the garden no one was there.
"Huh weird." Dick thought out loud. Then he looked at a little paper in the table, it said something like "terrace".
Both started walking there, Tim stopped them a few meters away.
"I need to cover your eyes Dick."
Damian could tell Dick was getting nervous. "It's a surprise we planned for you."
"For me? But it's your birthday little D." Sick raised an eyebrow.
"Yes, but I swear you'll like this one."
Or at least we hope you will. Damian thought.
Dick finally agreed to cover his eyes and was guided by his you get brothers to the terrace.
Tim and Damian left Dick in his place and stepped back.
"You can take it off now." Tim said.
Dick did, and he was absolutely not expecting whet he saw.
They were in the terrace, there were some candles and lights decorating the place, there were some decorations and some dinning tables. And a bar.
"What-" then he looked at her, Barbara was in front of him with a box on her hands.
Barbara opened the box, it had a nice simple ring on it. "Dick, my best friend, my boyfriend, my partner, you have seen the best and the worst of me, we have been through many things together, you're the person who I have spent most of my life with and I want to spend the rest of our crazy sometimes-amazing-sometimes-shitty-life's with. Would you marry me?"
Dick didn't even answered and to kiss her.
"Is that a yes?" Barbara answered after they broke the kiss.
"That's a yes."
A second party started, Dick and Barbara's friends arrived, and so did commissioner Gordon, he gave Dick one of the "don't you dare hurt my daughter" speech again.
"Damian it's time to get ready." His father told him after they both went to say goodbye to Collin. Bruce looked at his face and sighed. "I know you don't enjoy them either, but I promise every cent I spend on this gala, I will try to double it to the animal shelters."
Damian seemed happy with that answer, at least Jon had accepted to go a while because his parents were going to cover it for the newspaper.
"Tell your siblings that's time, we should leave Dick and his friends at their own party."
***
The gala went uneventful until past midnight. The gala was at the ballroom, which was far enough from the terrace where Dick and Barbara were.
Damian and Bruce were the only bats left, the rest had went to patrol, and Jon and his parents had already left.
The only interesting thing that had happened were when Jon accidentally crashed with a woman and made her spill her drink on her dress.
She almost killed Jon right there until Bruce intervened and offered to pay the damage to the dress, which wasn't even much more than a couple of drops.
His father had also gave an speech, and there had been cake, not even close to Pennyworth's.
Actually Damian was just waiting to find his father to tell him he was going to his room, he was tired. This was already tiring before. Now it made him feel tired and with a headache.
He found his father outside the ballroom, he was serious and looking at something in his phone.
Damian was able to read the headline, "Big explosion in Nanda Parbat." It wasn't a newspaper, it was a Batman file, and it had a picture below, the league's HQ were completely destroyed.
Suddenly everything started to feel hotter for some reason, his headache was worse, now he was feeling nauseous and dizzy, he had to use a wall to not fall, that's when his father noticed him.
"Damian, are you ok?!" He put his phone on his pocket and grabbed his son before he felt.
***
A couple of minutes later and they were at Damian's room Damian had asked his father about the file, and Bruce knew he couldn't dodge the question now.
"Apparently your grandfather used the pit, and as Thalia told us, she used that chance."
"In other words they're gone." Damian said.
Bruce looked down. "Yes Damian, they're gone."
Damian bitted his lip to not show the tears that were menacing to come out.
"Do you want me to stay or-?" Bruce asked.
"Can you close the door when you leave please?"
His father nodded, he understood Damian just wanted some time alone to mourn in peace.
That night Damian dreamt with his mother and him on the beach at the island.
It was a nice memory,
***
As time started to pass by, Damian's symptoms started to get worse and increase, and in a matter of weeks, he wasn't able to be Robin anymore. Damian had already accepted that. Not that it changed the fact that it hurt.
People started asking about his absence, they were still trying to decide what to say in public.
He still went to school, it wasn't that bad, but he wasn't able to do much physical effort.
Jon had been calling almost daily, Damian had been lying to him about what was going on, he told him first he had to go on a mission, but he couldn't lie for much more time, he had now told Jon he was sick.
Jon just didn't knew how sick he was.
"I'm going tomorrow, you can't avoid me anymore Dames."
"I'm not avoiding you Jon I just-" Damian resisted his sudden urge to vomit everything he had eaten that day.
"Nu huh, I'm going, there's nothing you can do to avoid it, I'm gonna stay to sleep too, oh and my mom made you vegetable soup because she says it helps when someone's sick, she was gonna make you chicken soup, but I remembered you're a vegetarian and-"
"Ok ok, I get it, no way I'm going to get rid of you now right?" Damian tried to sound annoyed but some happiness could be heard on his voice.
"Yep, see ya tomorrow!" Jon' exited voice said before he ended the call.
Damian looked at his father who was at his side reading the newspaper.
"Father, Jon's staying tomorrow."
"Yeah, Clark asked me about it." Bruce said.
"You knew? Why didn't you told me?"
Bruce just shrugged and continued reading.
"Damian, you do know you will have to tell him right?"
Damian already knew, but that didn't make it easier, he didn't want Jon to feel pity on him, he didn't want him to treat Damian different because he was dying. Just like most of his family had done when he had told them.
He just sighed, he hoped Jon would act the same towards him for the rest of his days.
***
"Damian!" Jon did tackled him this time. Bruce and Clark were too slow to catch the boys, Damian could see the worry in his father's eyes. Damn it hurt. It caused Damian to cough a bit, but he controlled it.
"Sorry, I forgot you were sick..." Jon started.
Damian moved his hand in a sign to forget it. "Don't worry, I'm happy you're here." Jon blinked once, Jon blinked twice. Yep Damian had said that. He just shrugged and followed the boy who was already entering the manor.
Both teens decided to play first in the garden with Titus and talked about what's been going on recently.
"Damian you're already in what? 11th grade? You sure you don't like someone from your school? They are pretty girl, like that blonde-"
"Agnes Johnson?" Damian said in surprise, he had liked the girl a few months ago, but he never really told her.
He just did a face as if he was going to puke and Jon started laughing.
They didn't touched the theme again and continued talking about the new video game that was coming out that year.
They returned back to the manor to eat diner, Damian was feeling sick, again and asked Tim to refill his bottle of pills.
After diner they both went to the TV room to play some video games and watch a movie.
"Damn Damian, I know I'm good at this but seriously you've been loosing every battle against me."
"Jon I need to tell you something."
Jon paused the game and looked at Damian.
"I...about me being sick, I-" Damian took a deep breath. "I don't know how long I have Jon." He answered truthfully.
Jon smiled and almost laughed. "Damian it's just a common flu you'll be fine in-" He stopped and looked at his friend's face. "Damian please tell me you're joking."
"You know I don't joke with this."
Jon was afraid to ask. "How long?"
"A little before my birthday."
Jon nodded, Damian had know for almost three months, maybe a little more now. He knew that probably not a lot of people knew, so he tried to not yell at him for not telling him, even when he was hurt.
"My mother came and talked to my father. Apparently there's a certain Lazarus dependence I evolved from the amount of times I used them, but now there are no more Lazarus pits left...my mother made sure after she killed my grandfather and herself in the process."
"I'm sorry about them Damian..."
Damian just stayed silent. He had already accepted the fact that he would never see them again, which was a good thing about his grandfather, but he had mixed feelings about his mother.
"And is there a way to bring you back after that? Or a way to cure you?"
He shook his head. "Just a Lazarus put could make me live longer, but even then I would just have a few years more and I'll have to use it again. But there are none left."
"And about bringing me back, I already told my family, even if they found a way to bring me back, I don't want it, I've come back enough times, it would be nice to just, rest you know?"
Jon started tearing at that point, and Damian was trying to not do the same, his father came in to see what was happening.
"But why Damian? Aren't you scared of dying?"
At this point his brothers entered the room too, and Damian looked at them and decided to just spill it out.
"You don't understand...the first time I-died, I was barely old enough to be on kindergarten...of course that something I never did. And I failed to protect myself from the league. It was the first time grandfather sent me to the mountain. I was supposed to stay hidden from them until I was able to climb it all and then stay hidden for at least a week. I only achieved 5 days before I broke my arm, it didn't took long to them to find me."
Damian stayed quiet for a minute, remembering all the things he had gone through during that task.
Dick out an arm on his shoulder and he continued.
"After they killed me i just remember waking up in the pit, mother was disappointed, the rest of them, including grandfather were mad." Damian coughed again, it was getting worst, but when Jon tried to help him he refused.
After the coughing fit he drank some water and cleared his throat.
His father got closer to him, "Damian you don't have to-"
Damian shook his head "Where was I? Oh right. The next time I died was no long after it, maybe a year and a half after, I was more...afraid of what they would do to me after I revived that about the fact of dying. I of course was correct, staying dead would have been better. It was the same for the next times I died."
Damian stayed quiet again, not knowing if he should admit out loud the next part, but he wanted his family to know his full history before he couldn't tell them, so he took a deep breath as tears menaced to appear.
"Less than a year before I meet you father, I...tried to escape, well not escaping as running away, but I did try to use the fact that I was sent on a solo mission, I was given two weeks to complete it, I finished in one and a half. Instead of returning I retired to get as far as possible, hid me as well as I could, but I knew it wasn't possible to live escaping from the league, so I...I did what I thought I needed to do, I took my katana, and I-"
Dick covered his mouth and Jon almost went towards his best friend to hug him.
Bruce leaned to his son, and as if asking 'where?' Damian looked at his forearm and nodded, letting him take a look at the scars Damian had given himself not less than a year ago before he had meet him.
"Mother found me in a matter of days...and that was the last time I used the pit."
Bruce clenched his fists as he thought about how unfair life had been with his son, and he tried not to think about the fact of how he had treated his son when they had first meet, when he had only been in the pit 9 months before. He must had been full of it's rage.
"Don't worry, I only did it a few times after I moved in, I never tried again. I stopped some years ago."
Jon remembered the time when he discovered Damian trying to cut himself after that one time he almost left with his grandfather and Damian's life was just a complete mess, he never thought he had done it much before, and that was the last time that Damian cut or tried to. Or at least that's what Damian kept telling him.
Finally Jon did hugged him this time, he hugged him as tight as he could and wished to stay with him for the rest of eternity like this, protecting him from anything that wished to hurt him.
But he knew that wasn't possible.
***
After some more time Damian had to stop going to school. Vicky Vale was starting to suspect something, but she didn't even knew what.
Jon still visited him once or twice a week at least. Winter was already arriving, and Dick's wedding was getting closer.
"OH MY GOD I GOT ACCEPTED!" He just heard Tim scream one day.
Damian groaned, he was in the sofa watching some movies about wizards and people without nose.
Tim almost jumped in top of him when he arrived.
"DAMIAN I GOT ACCEPTED!!" Damian got up from the soca to see his brother almost crying.
"You got accepted to what Timothy? I hope that it is a therapist because you're starting to worry me."
"Nonono, I got accepted at college, to the entire Ivy League!"
"Oh...those are the colleges you-?"
"Yes! Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, all! I got into all of them!"
Damian was amused, he was surprised Tim could get into all those colleges even when he dropped out of high school for a time.
"I uh wow, congratulations Tim-"
He could say more, Timothy was hugging him for probably the first time in their lives and he hugged back.
They celebrated that day, they went to eat dinner and Tim invited Kon and Bart.
***
People's questions about Robin started to grow, he had never been absent that long, not only from Gotham, but no one in the world had seen him.
They decided to fake his death, fake an explosion in a place in the middle of nowhere, make a false case, leave some evidence that could be tied to Robin, and say there was no body. That it all burnt.
Jason joked that they were literally copy pasting his death excluding the Joker and his mother.
No one actually laughed at that, no one other than Jason.
It was weird, there was a funeral. His funeral. The Titans attended, so did the Justice League, citizens from different cities, not only Gotham. People cried.
His family and friends cried, even if he knew it was fake, Damian couldn't help but wonder if this was going to be how his real funeral would be, depressing, and people crying.
Commissioner Gordon said some words too. And they buried a coffin without body.
People normally didn't had a chance to attend to their own funeral, but Damian did. And he didn't liked it.
"I want sunflowers." He said that night when he was watching a movie with his brothers.
"Why do you want sunflowers?" Tim asked, they were the only two awake by that moment.
"Not right now, for my funeral, I want sunflowers."
Tim looked at him as if he had grown a second head.
"I noticed that most people at the funeral brought white flowers, but sunflowers are more beautiful, they're happier...a little girl brought me a flower."
Tim blinked multiple times before answering. "Ok, you'll have sunflowers...anything else?"
Damian shook his head. "Maybe...could you put something green on the place? I like green." He yawned, he was already falling sleep.
"Sure."
***
It was Christmas, they had attended a Christmas Eve gala the day before, and most of the family had stayed to sleep after that. Duke and Cass were the only two missing because of a mission, but the rest were there.
It wasn't a good day, Damian was feeling bad, but he decided to not tell the rest to not ruin the fun.
After diner they decided to go to the back of the manor and play in the snow, Steph convinced Damian somehow to slide with her. Ari and Titus were always following them.
Damian enjoyed it, he liked it, after some more slides he finally convinced the others to let him try to do it alone.
The moment they pushed him down the little hill, he knew he had made a mistake.
He had started feeling worst because of the physical effort he had been doing, some little spots appeared on his vision , he tried to stop, just like they had told him to.
Shit shit shit, stop stop!
His heartbeat started going faster, he couldn't stop the sled, he looked at the tree that was a few meters away from him, and decided to jump.
He blacked out after that.
When the rest notice that Damian wasn't slowing down they knew something was wrong. Dick started running towards his brother the moment he realized that.
"Damian!" He screamed his name when he saw the boy jump from the sled. Ari was at his side and Titus was running towards Dick.
His concern grew when his boy wasn't moving. Dammit, when had this hill got so big?
Titus encouraged him to go faster.
By the moment he arrived Damian had passed out, the boy was laying in the snow, he couldn't really see any injuries other than a scratch on his left arm.
The rest were already there by the time he was carrying Damian.
"We have to take him inside, the cold won't make any good to him."
Bruce decided to call Leslie, as she had been treating every Lazarus sickness related stuff.
She sighed, she couldn't even get Christmas free with that family, but she got there as fast as she could.
Leslie was already there when Damian woke up. And Ari was at his side.
"You gave us quite a scare young lad." Alfred said handing him a mug with tea.
"Your temperature is fine, it's good that you were wearing all that winter stuff and weren't long in the snow, other than that I need you to tell me what happened."
Damian explained Leslie that he hadn't been feeling well that day and that he was very tired when he was playing outside and then passed out.
Bruce frowned. "You should have told us. You promised."
Damian just lowered his sight.
"I fear that Damian shouldn't make any physical effort, even things like playing in the snow and taking long walks, whenever he's feeling very tired he should use a wheelchair or get to his bed if he's feeling way too tired."
This was something Damian wouldn't take easy.
"How-? I...No! I refuse to use that horrible chair and rest in bed! I don't want to become a useless invalid-" He looked at Barbara who was glaring at him.
"No offense to you Gordon, you're actually pretty useful and capable."
"Some taken."
Dick sighed. "Damian, you have to understand that it's for your own good, we don't want to have an accident-"
"Just leave."
His family looked at him.
"Don't you understand?! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He threw a pillow at them, but even that was too much of an effort. "I HATE THIS I HATE YOU."
His family left. Steph closed the door behind her and gave him a sad look.
It was probably the first time Damian exploded like that with everything that had been happening, and for him being Damian, the rest knew that he was making an incredible effort. But this was probably the first time he started to yell at them about it.
Damian didn't got out much for some days, Alfred always entered to give him his meals and his pets were always with him. The rest weren't able to enter.
Damian didn't knew if he wasn't going out because of his anger, the embarrassment of have yelled at them, or the nonstop headaches and tiredness.
It wasn't until new year that Damian finally got out of his room. His brothers were at the tv room were he found them, their happiness make Damian feel guilty for pushing them away, he had already told himself multiple times he didn't want to die in bad terms with someone.
"What make you come out?" Dick asked some hours later.
"I just...I felt guilty, I'm sorry for yell at you." He said.
"Hey, don't worry, I get that it's difficult."
Their talk was interrupted by Jason and Steph screaming that there was only one minute left before midnight.
Fireworks could be seen from other house near by that was having a party, Damian covered his pet's ears.
After it all passed they celebrated, they let him drink a cup of champagne with everyone else, and Jason started with the jokes about not doing something since last year. Steph and Dick joined him.
Damian sweared that if he heard one more joke about that he would punch someone in the nose.
After the celebration stopped Damian decided to go to sleep, Dick followed him to tell him goodnight.
"Thank you Dick. Happy New Year."
"Happy New Year Damian."
***
Dick's and Barbara's wedding was on January 9th. It was medium sized, all the league were there, and so were the multiple friends and teams Dick had. There were also some citizens that were there because of commitment, but it wasn't that big.
Gordon's wheelchair was pushed by his father down the aisle, Dick cried. Barbara tried not to because of ruining her makeup. Bruce didn't cried, but he did but his lip during most of the ceremony, and Damian took it as something similar.
The ceremony was shorter than usual. Or at least Damian felt like that, he didn't knew, he didn't really went to a lot of weddings.
The rest of the day, and night, was watching adults drinking and trying to dance, emphasizing the trying. Seriously, American people sometimes couldn't even go at the rhythm of the song. There were some exceptions of course.
Bruce told him that Dick and Barbara had postponed their honeymoon so they could spend the rest of Damian's time near him. Damian felt a little guilty, but Rick and Barbara had insisted, and a little, selfish part of Damian actually liked that, he like the feeling that his older brother cared that much about him to stay.
"Damian can I talk to you-?" Dick came to ask him after midnight, they both left the family table and went to a more quiet place further from the loud music and people dancing.
By that time of the night Pennyworth had forced him literally to use the wheelchair because he was pushing himself too far, Damian had refused at first, but it was either that or the bed, and he couldn't bring the bed to the party.
"Father told me you and Gordon will postpone your honeymoon."
"Uh, yeah, that was actually something I wanted to tell you."
"What's the other thing?" Damian asked.
"Just wanted to check how were you doing, I know you normally don't get along with loud noises and big groups of people."
Damian knew what Grayson was talking about, a thing about growing up in the league is getting PTSD, and it usually didn't go well with parties that were this noisy.
"Tt. I'm fine." Damian answered him brother and showing him some earplugs that Tim had given to him. "This have been working well so far."
Dick nodded. "I'm glad, well, we should get back to the party don't you think?"
Damian nodded. "Just one more thing, I wanted to tell you...that my birthday wish came true."
Dick stopped walking. "What? What was your birthday wish? To me to get married?"
"Tt, of course not. Dick, I actually wished to be alive to see it."
His brother gave him a smile.
"Now, I also wanted to tell you that Bruce and Alfred told me to get you to bed young man, so..."
"Not fair Grayson!"
Dick just laughed as he pushed his wheelchair back to the manor.
Bruce had installed a little elevator a few months ago for Barbara to use, now it had came in handy for Damian too.
Dick helped Damian get ready much to Damian's protests and got him to bed.
"Tt, I feel like a child." He said pouting.
Grayson laughed as he sat on the bed at Damian's side.
"Shouldn't you be at your wedding?"
"Believe me some of them are far too drunk to realize I've been gone for thirty minutes."
Damian didn't said anything.
Both of them stayed silent for some minutes until Dick spoke. "Damian you're still awake?"
"Hmmh"
"Uh about, you wish...of being alive to see my wedding. I-I wanted to ask you a question...something you said the other day with Jon here. How is it that you're not scared of dying?" Dick finally asked. "Even if I was old, the idea of death...it terrifies me."
Damian shrugged.
"I guess I'm not scared of dying...I'm scared of going back to hell." Damian said finally, he had known that for a long time, but he had never admitted out loud. The first time he had been scared of dying, the next times it had been about coming back, and the last time he had been scared of dying again. But this time? This time he was scared he wasn't good enough to make it to heaven.
Dick hugged him while Damian continued talking.
"Dick...do you think I will go to Hell again?" He whispered to his brother. "I dont wanna go to Hell again...but I dont wanna come back either to life...I think it would be nice to rest for once you know?"
"Of course you won't be going to Hell, I can be sure about that, you have done bad things, but you have made incredible things both as Damian and Robin, I know you're a person with a golden heart, and you've already paid for what you did by going to hell. I'm sure you will go to Heaven, you probably deserve it more than me."
"But how can you be so sure?"
"I guess it's because I know you."
***
It was on Thursday, January 21 that Damian left this world.
He had been on bed the last week, Jon and his family came to visit almost every day. He didn't had much energy left to get up from bed, Tim made an special drug for him so he wouldn't be in pain that last days.
Damian thought it wasn't that bad, he had a mostly great life, he was grateful that he was able to have enough time to say goodbye to everyone.
The last day he had on earth he laid on his bed, and looked at everyone, he could see their emotions, most of them were sad, Damian was happy that sad was just an emotion that wouldn't last forever, and he wished and hoped that his family could remember him as a happy memory after a few months of grieving. He wanted them to be happy.
They knew he wouldn't survive the night.
Tim had brought him a sunflower that was at his side.
Damian was okay with that. He was scared of going to Hell, but he wanted to believe Dick's words.
He could feel his eyes taking longer to open again every time he closed them.
He knew every breath he took could be his last.
He was scared,scared of what would come next.
His father put a hand on top of his hand, and looked at him with a small smile.
"It's okay, we love you Damian, I love you son." He had tears on his eyes.
And by looking again at his family, he realized, maybe Dick wasn't lying, maybe he would be able to go to Heaven after all.
Was that possible? A sinner among saints?
Maybe it was after all.
And he finally exhaled his last breath.
People said that you have 7 seconds to remind the best moments of your life.
Damian loved it all again, his days as an infant with his mother before the league training. Patrol with Dick as Robin and Batman, the ice cream place they use to go to after a rough day.
Then patrol with his father, the excitement he got when his father started to open to him.
The time he meet Jon. And all the times they played and went out as Robin and Superboy.
The times he was with his friends and felt like a normal child. Or the times he played with his pets at the garden or took a walk with them.
The cinema with Duke.
Chess with Alfred.
Solving cases with Tim.
Punching people with Todd.
Making pranks to Dick with Steph.
Learning sign language with Cass.
His birthday, the wedding, the last months.
He was happy he was able to get a second chance and live it all.
He catch a glimpse from the other side, he could see his grandparents waiting for him, he could see Dick's parents there too.
The other times he had died during the League he hadnt been able to be dead long enough to end up in Hell or Heaven.
Damian had ended up going to Hell the last time he died.
But now he knew he could rest, he had payed for his sins, for the monstruocities he had done during his lifetime. He was finally in Heaven, and he would be for the rest of eternity, he looked back he could see a projection of his death body, with his family crying and mourning as they realized he was gone.
He watched the sunflower in the window, they would be okay, there would be happiness after some time of grieving.
"Dont worry." He said looking at his family one last time. "Im fine, but please take your time, I will be waiting for you."
Because he knew they would come to Heaven too, if a sinner like Damian was able to go to Heaven, saints like his family would be able too.
He walked towards the light.