Chapter Text
With Levi's help I'd made a pact with Mamo-chan and other than Lucifer being a bit miffed about it everything was going well. They were happy and well they had begun to have friendship and the hints of maybe more feelings towards these seven boys that they were living with.
Of course this was the night that they had the dream. They went up to the attic and opened the door and then someone they had never seen was there, they had long bangs that covered one eye and two tone hair. They hugged this other person feeling happy about this door being opened but then they changed. This person now had a tail and horns, along with an intense aura of pure rage and hatred. But I had already hugged them, my chest and ribs hurt as they squeezed me too tight. I knew they weren't going to stop and they smiled at my pain, the last thing I saw was them going down the spiral stairs and I heard them laughing as everything went dark and it still hurt.
I blink and see that I'm safe in my room at the House of Lamentation, I get up and head towards the kitchen. I need a glass of water after that dream, maybe Beelzebub hasn't ate everything yet and I can get a snack too. That would be nice, I walk down the stairs quietly so I don't wake anyone up. As I enter the kitchen I see Beelzebub eating on the floor, I don't think he sees me so I quietly greet him. "Hey Beelzebub, is there any rice left?"
He turns towards me and looks a bit surprised, "It's late, you should be asleep." He is right but this was worse than the worst flashback dream, I can't tell him that though.
"I had a nightmare is all, I just need to calm myself back down and then I'll go back to sleep. Don't worry about me sweetie, I can take care of myself." He looks unconvinced but he hands me a fried bat wing and watches me for a minute. I grab a glass and get some water to drink while I eat the bat wing and in the process I thank Beelzebub, "Thank you. I didn't mean to bother you." He keeps eating and I fill the space with silly thoughts, he even chuckles at a few of the bad jokes.
But I'm back to yawning too soon and he sends me back to bed, by which I mean he says if I don't walk back by myself he will carry me to bed. I smile and hold back a laugh as I walk back to my room, I feel a lot better now. As I drift back to sleep, I hear a voice, "Help me… I need you to set me free… please help me Dimension…" the voice trails off and I'm too tired to think about how scary this truly is.
I wake up but I still feel so tired, I had another prophetic dream last night. I'm going to die. There was also the odd voice calling out for me, I should check out the attic. Maybe ask Mammon about people with cow looking hair, I should learn who's going to murder me after all. Based on how it's happened before I have at most three months to live at most.
At least I'll be able to see them again, in the afterlife that is. I still miss you sis… That car it came out of nowhere and Kitty is still alive because you saved her but you're gone. I can't help but wish I could have saved you. But I can't fix it now and I just wish I hadn't said that to you when you left for the day. Kim I was so rude to you and I should have warned you that you were going to die. I know you didn't want to know but at least if you knew then you could have done things differently. Or I could have been a better sibling to you, I was a terrible sibling. With that running through my head, I wipe the tears that begin to fall.
Then I get up and seeing that it's still early, I decide to try to enter the attic. If I'm lucky there's a part of the attic I can hide in to deal with these feelings. I don't want pity from the bros because my little sister died recently. Slinking through the house it was obvious that no one was awake quite yet, I hadn't looked at a clock however. The permanent twilight of the Devildom didn't help, as I walked as close to silently as I could. I arrive at the stairs and take a deep breath before starting to climb. I have a terrible feeling about what lies at the top of the stairs but I need to know.
"What are you doing? Dimension why are you trying to go to the attic?" Lucifer found me, he looks a bit disheveled. What time is it? "It is four in the morning, why are you even awake?" That answers my question, time to lie.
"I had a nightmare, I didn't bother anyone so I decided to come up here for a bit. I really don't want to be touched right now, I needed somewhere to hide." I feel a few tears drip down my cheek, guess I'm not masking as well as I'd hoped. He looks almost amused and I decide to give him a taste of my real life, not revealing my power but Kim would have laughed at this I think.
"Reliving your little sister's death isn't a good way to spend the night, especially since she died saving a mutual friend from a bad driver." My face is really wet now, like covered in tears and snot, I'm gross already and it's not even noon. I wipe my eyes and breath in sucking up some of the snot, shit there's hair in my face there's boogers in my hair. Why did I not pull my hair back before coming up here?
"Grief is hard on everyone and there was nothing you could have done, even with your ability. It's not your fault, it was her time and you need to let her go." He looks mildly offended and I just can't deal with an ass like him today. The arrogance radiates off of him like stink on a skunk, I can't hold my tongue today.
"If you had this ability you would have tried to save someone too, just to find out that no matter what you do it's going to happen. That is the biggest 'fuck you' in my fucking life. The only consistent person in my life and I got to watch them die twice, my only sibling and I got to see their guts all across the pavement twice. I heard her screams first in a dream and then in reality. It hasn't even been a fucking year, so leave me the fuck alone you asshole!" He looks even more mad, he's got that angry aura again.
I pull on my pact with Mammon not able to filter my emotions so he isn't overwhelmed, but I did a dumb. "You know nothing about grief, you never had to kill those you had once loved. You were never in a war." That's his response, a war. All of the brothers were in that war and he's the only one being an ass.
"You made active choices. I am a spectator in my own life, your choices had a chance to change things. If I see it it will come to be no matter what, I will be blessed with the ability to know every bad thing that will ever happen to me. One day I'll even see my own death. You can't understand what it's like to know that all of your nightmares will come true." Before I can say anything else Mammon bursts in and looks at the two of us. I look like a mess and at some point I had walked closer to Lucifer. I remember jabbing his chest when I said I'd see my death, I back away. I notice that he's in his demon form, fuck. Wait I can't die except by that cow demon. I don't need to be scared anymore, for the next three months I'm effectively immortal. Mammon's frozen and I just start to laugh,
"You can't kill me, I would have seen it." The venom in my voice surprises me but I don't care anymore, if I'm going to die in three months might as well tell the truth. As I laugh Mammon picks me up and runs, I start to sob as I cling to him. He tries to set me down on my bed, but I won't let go of him.
I'm curling into a ball and clinging to Mammon, he closes the door and holds me. After a while when I've stopped sobbing, "What's wrong Dimension? Don't ya know its a bad idea to yell at someone so much more powerful than you? And what do you mean Lucifer wasn't gonna kill ya? How would ya see it?"
"None ya."
"What's nonya?" I can't believe he fell for it.
"None ya business."
"C'mon Dimension, we have a pact and aren't we friends? You said that we were friends just yesterday, were ya lying?" I shake my head and take a shaky breath, I should tell him something.
"Not that long ago my little sister died, a car hit her instead of our friend Kitty. She saved Kitty but now she's gone and I had a flashback nightmare tonight…" I start to rub my arm, I'm biting down on the inside of my cheek. I taste blood.
"Hey calm down, it's ok to be sad but don't hurt yourself. I can smell the blood. Just let it out without hurting yourself." He says this and rubs circles on my back, I start sobbing again. I cry but I don't say a word, I can't grow closer if I'm going to die soon. I can't break his heart, it would be so terrible of me to do that to him. I can't grow closer to any of them, I need to mask fully everytime they are around. No slip ups anymore, after this I need to distance myself and keep their hearts safe. It's the least I can do, but for now I just lean into Mammon's touch and cry my eyes out.
But then someone knocks on the door, I stiffen and look around for somewhere to hide. I can't be seen vulnerable by six demons, two is bad enough. Valefar managed to teach me that much and Dad would agree. I dash into the closet and close the door to the closet just as the other door opens.
"My sweet Dimension, it's time for breakfast." His voice changes in tone so fully at the next sentence I'm a bit surprised Asmodeus can sound that mean. "What are you doing here, Mammon? Where is Dimension? Did you sell them?"
"Hey don't assume stuff like that, they went and hid in the closet." Mammon sounds a bit mad because of the way Asmodeus accused him so quickly.
"Dimension sweetie won't you come out of the closet?" Asmodeus says it and I can't help but do the joke.
"I'm Pansexual and Demiromantic. Also I'm Nonbianary." I giggle a little after saying that.
"I'm happy for you, but sweetie that's not what I meant."
"I don't wanna leave the closet right now."
"Why not?"
"None ya."
"I won't fall for that Dimension. Won't you please tell me?"
"I do not wish to." Then the closet door opens. Shit! I hide behind my uniform coat and wrap the scarf I had been wearing when I came to the Devildom around my face to hide the tear tracks. I can't see but I feel someone trying to remove the scarf. "Please don't…"
"But I want to see your lovely face, please Dimension?" Asmodeus sounds a little bit whiny and normally I'd give in but not now. I shake my head and cross my arms.
"Asmo they said no and I can make sure that they get to breakfast. I'm their first man after all." I stifle a small giggle at the silly remark and after huffing Asmodeus leaves. I pull the scarf off and frown,
"I look like a trainwreck."
"Don't you worry the great Mammon can have you looking super hot before you go to breakfast!!!"
"I'd settle for looking like a human." I giggle in response. He blushes a bit at my joke, weird. Together we manage to hide the sleep deprivation and the puffy eyes. Mammon is better at make-up than me, it's not surprising but he's really good at it. I gave him a hug when we were done. "Thank you, Mammon. I mean it thank you."
I grab his hand and start to walk to the dining room, he doesn't let me keep his hand though. I'm lost. He never tried to stop me before, he never seemed to mind my touching him before. Did I make him mad? Did I do something wrong? We walk into the dining room and I'm lost in thought, Beelzebub takes my plate and I don't even stop him. I blink and it's already time to go RAD, this is not going to be an easy day.