Chapter Text
"Oh my god you work at Gong Cha! That's so cool can you get me free bubble tea?"
If Changyoon had a dollar for every time he'd heard that, he'd probably be able to buy the entire menu from Gong Cha. Not that he doesn't like working there, but god damn this bubble tea fad is holding out a lot longer than Changyoon anticipated. Don't get him wrong, he too loves the cold rush of milky and tea-y goodness once in a while, but like working behind the scenes at a Disney, or McDonalds, or literally anywhere with a mysterious, mystical reputation, the magic kind of disappears when he has to do it all the fucking time.
At least it always smells really nice. The sugary scent of various syrups mix really well with the natural scent of clean, strong tea. Half the fun Changyoon has is just inhaling the different combinations of tea flavors. Who needs to smoke the devil's cabbage when you have.....Wow Changyoon is so lame, he's seriously going to go ahead and get addicted to the dumbest shit ever. Not cocaine, not heroin, just tea leaves. Whatever, it's not like it's an actual addiction, he reaffirms whenever Yuto gives him the stink eye for gushing about how good it smells in Gong Cha yet again. No Yuto, you don't have to sign me up to Freaky Eaters or My Strange Addiction. No, I don't want to go on and go viral then get roasted by a billion white YouTube commentary channels that basically recycle the exact same jokes. Anyways...
The other half of the fun is his co-worker, Minkyun. The new transfer to his branch of Gong Cha, he and Changyoon immediately clicked. It's like they completely skipped the awkward first stages of working together and went straight into negging each other over dumb stuff ("I only need 0% sugar cause you're so sweet" "Wow you sure do love having balls in your mouth") Every shift is an exciting game of gay chicken, which is Changyoon's second favorite type of chicken (his first being garlic soy fried chicken). If Changyoon's being honest with himself, he's only half joking when he fake flirts with Minkyun. Many thought trains have been derailed thanks to Minkyun shooting him dimply smiles whenever Minkyun's in that mood. And boy do those moods hit often. Overall, Changyoon would definitely consider himself very lucky. Customer service work is still work, but Minkyun and nice smells have for sure made it a lot better than if he had to work at Athlete's foot with a cranky manager and bunch of gross stinky feet.
That's what he foolishly thought until 2 seconds ago.
"Jesus Christ what is that smell?"
"Oh sorry, they're durian wafers. I didn't think they'd still smell so potent though." Minkyun doesn't sound very sorry though, as he reaches a hand into the foul smelling bag.
Changyoon wishes he had a peg for his nose right now. He tries to mouth breath, but the overwhelming flavor just enters through his taste buds and now he has a mouthful of durian. Just great.
"I can't believe you can't smell that though, even if you like the taste of durian you have to be overwhelmed by the smell right?"
Minkyun casually shrugs while popping a wafer into his mouth.
"I can't really smell it."
Changyoon furrows his eyebrows. "What are you talking about? Do you have a cold or something today?"
"No it's just...I can't really smell or taste anything." Minkyun says like he's telling Changyoon he's left-handed, and not like he's telling him he doesn't have 2 of the 5 minimum human senses.
Changyoon's jaw drops. Can't taste anything? This is the first time he's heard of this. Granted, he hasn't really worked with Minkyun for that long, but something big like that feels like it would've been brought up a while ago. Or at least Changyoon would've brought it up. If he couldn't taste and smell anything boy he would let the whole world know. No more garlic soy deliciousness....No more inhaling tea like oxygen...No way.
"God that sucks...How long?"
"My whole life..."
Changyoon's mouth is starting to ache from all the jaw dropping but he can't help it. Minkyun really doesn't have a whole 2 senses and Changyoon just had no idea. It's revelations like this that drag Changyoon back into the reality that he and Minkyun haven't been friends their whole lives, and he really doesn't know Minkyun all that well.
"You don't have to look so worried man, it's whatever." Minkyun laughs.
"Was it like a genetic thing or?"
"I guess." Minkyun chews thoughtfully. "I mean I'm a Fork, if you didn't know." He waves nonchalant jazz hands at Changyoon.
Fork....What does that me-
OH.
Changyoon hasn't heard that term since middle school sex ed. And to think he'd ever meet a Fork in the flesh. He's flashing back to his dingy school assembly area, snickering with his friends every time their uptight teacher would have to say the words penis and vagina. He can even see the slides from that corny powerpoint presentation clear as day.
"Fork and Cake are laymans terms for a pretty rare genetic condition. About 10% of the population will either be Cake or Fork. Cakes have the unique trait of having all their bodily fluids tasting sweet, or delicious, but only to Forks. Now Forks, they have no sense of smell or taste whatsoever, except towards Cakes. A Cake could go through their whole life not knowing they're a Cake unless they happen to come across a Fork. Pretty unfortunate, considering Cakes still have their senses but that's just the condition."
After that it was total pandemonium at his school for a few weeks. People pretending to be cakes and forks left and right. Changyoon could never really wrap his little middle school head around the concept, so he stayed out of the craze. He was still trying to recover from the fact that a single tiny white sperm going into an only slightly bigger egg could produced a whole ass human! Truly amazing, what nature is capable of. To be honest adult Changyoon still can't wrap his head around it sometimes.
10% of the population huh...He doesn't know if he should've gone longer or shorter without meeting either of those, he never was good at statistics and probability. What he does know is that the reveal should've been more exciting right? Where are the fireworks? The streamers? Not even some pop rocks to slam on the ground? Some Fork reveal this turned out to be. Changyoon almost wants to laugh at the mundaneness of it all. But then again, it shouldn't be a big deal anyway. Minkyun is still Minkyun, Fork or not.
"Well, I'll see ya tomorrow, don't miss me too much." Minkyun signs out of the register and blows a kissy face to Changyoon.
All of Changyoon's sex ed memories immediately get blasted and scattered around like dust particles around the floor whenever he has to vacuum.
He stutters through his ice-cold response. "N-Not if you miss me first."
Irresistible.
Minkyun laughs his high, sweet laugh and all Changyoon can do is dumbly smile and wave as Minkyun walks out of the glass doors of Gong Cha, leaving Changyoon to inhale some more tea and syrup by his lonesome.
Changyoon opens the doors of Gong Cha to be blasted by three things. The cold breeze of the air conditioner, the heady scent of milk tea, and Minkyun's classic bracket smile. Seeing it almost makes Changyoon forget about the absolute retail hell he's going to have to go through today, but only almost. He quickly plasters on his best customer service smile, the one he knows giggly groups of girls and well-meaning grandmas all go crazy for, and takes the on-going flood of bubble tea orders. The store isn't very big, which makes the number of customers they get all the time even more intimidating. He vividly remembers the first few times he started working here like a fever dream, almost cried when he saw the line of customers would, without fail, go out of the door and around the block every damn day. Now he just grits his teeth and takes down orders at lightning-fast speeds, handing them off to Minkyun and the other few co-workers currently there who rush through the various combos of tea and toppings like a well-oiled machine. After what seemed like both forever and the blink of an eye, Changyoon finds himself waving off a group of dishevelled students to find absolutely no one behind them. He breathes out a gigantic sigh of relief, can practically feeling himself deflating like a balloon.
"Tired?" Minkyun pats him on the back and Changyoon immediately straightens back up. Pftt, he could do this all day.
Minkyun laughs when Changyoon says as much, and Changyoon puffs his chest out, priding himself on his ability to make Minkyun smile at him like that. He notices the snack of the day in Minkyun's hands, and it's wasabi covered peanuts. He's about to make a comment until yesterdays conversation hit him like a punch to the face. At least the peanuts don't smell.
"So uh....how's the texture?"
"Pretty good. You want one?" With that, Minkyun throws a nut into Changyoon's mouth (Changyoon wishes it meant that).
It takes them a few tries and a few wasted peanuts before Minkyun successfully lands one, and they're both about to go in for a high five before the sharp kick of spice sets Changyoon's mouth ablaze and he rushes for his bottle of water.
"You want me to get some milk?" Minkyun's tone turns concerned, eyebrows raised cutely.
How could someone even raise their eyebrows cutely? Well if anyone could do it, it'd probably be Minkyun. Changyoon really shouldn't have forgotten that he can't stand spicy foods. It's not his fault that his brain literally turns to mush around Minkyun. If he asked Changyoon to jump off a cliff he would gladly do so, absolutely no questions asked, no answers needed.
Scraping his teeth over his tastebuds, Changyoon tries to distract from his idiocy. "Honethly- Honestly, I can't tell if I'm just weak or if that's really spicy."
"Hmm, probably a bit of both." Minkyun smirks at him and Changyoon's starting to feel a little breathless from the mix of trying to rid himself of the wasabi spice and talking to Minkyun. God his stamina is going down the drain.
"Well ok, Mr I-can-eat-anything-and-act-like-a-smug-sonovabitch-about-it" Changyoon pouts.
It only strikes him now, how Minkyun regularly brings in weird flavors and snacks. Just the other day, he brought in lemon tea and cucumber flavored chips. Changyoon probably should've guessed that something was up with Minkyun's tastebuds, as opposed to him actually enjoying lemon tea and cucumber flavoured chips?!
"So you really just eat the weirdest food flavors for fun?"
Minkyun's smirk gets wider, nose scrunching up until he looks like a devious little cat. "Yeah, it's so funny watching people's reactions, especially yours."
Changyoon splutters at that. No way... He well and truly thought he had a good grip with the whole 'being cool and smooth and subtle around Minkyun' thing. God he just hopes Minkyun hasn't picked up on the other reactions Changyoon has when Minkyun smiles, or frowns, or does literally anything and he should probably stop thinking about it.
"Man seriously? I mean I guess I am pretty shocked but like that's still crazy though, knowing you eat all that stuff and you have no idea what it tastes like. Or what anything tastes like." Changyoon flounders, bright red in the face, and surprisingly not from the spicy wasabi, which had worn off by now.
"Well I mean I know what one thing tastes like at least." Changyoon's eyebrows raise up, and only then does Minkyun continue. "I have a cake boyfriend~" He flourishes the end of his sentence, tone going high and bouncy, waggling his eyebrows.
Cake...?
Boyfriend....?
What do words mean...What are these sounds that are coming out of Minkyun's mouth....Changyoon feels like he's been smacked into the air by a baseball bat, and then proceeded to crash into a nearby field, upon where a lawn-mover has suddenly driven over his beaten and bruised body. A cake boyfriend! A cake boyfriend? A cake boyfriend$#@$@$#%@%$#%. Changyoon feels himself flung through the five stages of grief. Of course, who was he kidding. Minkyun? Single? Not a fucking chance. Not with how boyfriend material he is. Not with those god given visuals. And most certainly not for Changyoon. Honestly? Minkyun deserves a cake boyfriend. Changyoon's boring old non ass might as well be chopped liver to Minkyun.
"Wow, that's....Fuck dude, what are the odds!"
"Apparently one in a million." Minkyun is beaming, dreamy look in his eyes and a hand to his blushing face.
Unbelievable. Changyoon has to jump through hoops, wring his one braincell dry of jokes for a Minkyun laugh, and his cake boyfriend is getting this reaction just from Minkyun thinking about him. It's okay. No really, it's okay. It's so totally okay. Even if it isn't okay. It's all okay. It's Okay to Not Be Okay. (Yuto has been on his ass trying to make him watch that drama, and maybe he will finally start, if only to distract him from this debilitating L)
"See ya later. Don't have too much fun without me." Minkyun goes about his day like he hasn't just crushed Changyoon's, and signs out, collecting his weird little snacks and waltzing through the glass doors with a smile and a wink.
Well Changyoon did start It's Okay to Not Be Okay. He couldn't for the life of him tell you anything about it though, mind still on the earth-shattering revelations he's just received this week. First Minkyun has just revealed himself as a Fork. Then without any cool down time, Minkyun also revealed that he's in a very happy relationship with a Cake, no less. Changyoon's shaking his head by himself in his bedroom and he thinks he's well and truly lost the plot. He decides to go jerk off to distract from all things Minkyun and 'already has a boyfriend' and Cakes and Forks, but it's obviously not working as he finds that he's already typed 'cake and fork' into PornHub. What he gets is just a bunch of gross food stuff. He's still scrolling though, looking for something even slightly legit until he finds a probable thumbnail.
"Non gets cucked, Huge Dicked Fork shows Cake girl real fun!"
Changyoon cringes at the stupid title, but he clicked on it so who's the real idiot here. He skims the video, grimacing more than masturbating. It's just a getting cucked porno except the guy is oddly specific and really very deranged about how good the the girl's pussy juices taste or whatever. Either way it's not really doing anything for Changyoon, and he wasn't even really horny to begin with, so he gives the whole thing up and buries himself in his blankets, trying not to think about Minkyun and how smiley he is, and how much smilier he became when he was talking about his boyfriend.
"So like...his piss and shit tastes good too?"
Minkyun chokes on his water and Changyoon has to pat at his back for a good few minutes before Minkyun can even breathe again, let alone answer his question.
"No... That's different... They're waste products so absolutely not. I wouldn't even know." Minkyun shakes his head vigorously, grimacing.
"What exactly can you taste then?" Some part of Changyoon is yelling at him that this is entirely inappropriate, but the rest of him throttles that part into submission and eagerly anticipates Minkyun's response.
"Hmmm, his sweat, his saliva, tears. Cum, obviously."
"Ohhh..." Changyoon starts to feel his face heat up. He's getting embarrassed like he didn't just ask Minkyun if he enjoyed eating his cake partner's excrement a few seconds prior. Or maybe it's the embarrassment only starting to set in right now. Either way Changyoon feels like he's in the middle of a four way car crash that he can't even get mad about because he himself induced it.
"Ummm...I'm ready to order now..."
Changyoon and Minkyun whip their heads round to the front of the counter and come face to face with a customer who looks like they're about to cry, plastic menu wobbling in their shaking hands, deep, blotchy red plastered over their face. Wow, Changyoon really shouldn't be asking Minkyun about his sex life at work huh. He stammers through an apology, hands clumsily pressing the register screen. Thank God the manager isn't here today. He even gives the poor person a 5% discount for having to listen to that conversation. Please please please don't leave us a one star review and then say it's because the two servers were talking about cake/fork mechanics, Changyoon crosses his fingers. Speaking of cake/fork dynamics....
"Waiiitttt, would his snot taste good? Oh God what about his blood? Are you like a vampire?" Changyoon turns, gasping at Minkyun.
Vampires....Love triangles....holy shit Changyoon's living through Twilight! Would that make him Jacob then? He's always wanted to be a hot buff werewolf. But that would mean Minkyun is Bella, and she wasn't a vampire. At least up until the 3rd movie? Changyoon doesn't really remember, but now probably isn't the best time to be thinking about Twilight lore when he's asking Minkyun whether or not his boyfriend's blood tastes good. His curiosity shrivels up a bit when he watches Minkyun release a deep, shuddering sigh. Minkyun places both of his hands on his hips and looks up at the brightly lit ceiling like God himself might come down and smite him so that he doesn't have to listen to Changyoon's stupid questions. Bless his heart though, he's still smiling. It's a very pinched off, frozen smile, that looks less 'I'd love to answer all your questions' and more 'I want you to stop talking and I want to die' but it's still a smile nonetheless!
"I think it'd be better if you stop thinking about these things." Minkyun says after an usually long silence.
Changyoon thinks about that for a bit and agrees.
They stop speaking, on account of the new wave of customers that have just come in. At least Changyoon hopes that's the case and it's not because Minkyun hates him now. He really was being nosy as fuck wasn't he? Damn me and my lack of brain to mouth filter, Changyoon inwardly curses at himself. Well maybe this isn't so bad. Maybe Minkyun will be so over Changyoon that he requests to move to a different branch, and Changyoon won't get cardiac arrest every time Minkyun giggles at one of his jokes and then he remembers that he has a boyfriend already and the cardiac arrest will straight up turn into heart failure. He's thinking about it so hard that he almost doesn't notice Minkyun tapping him on the shoulder. Changyoon turns to find a phone shoved under his nose.
"This is my Cake boyfriend. I haven't tasted his pee and poop and probably never will."
It takes a few seconds for Changyoon's eyes to adjust to the screen. It's someone's profile on Facebook. Shim Jaeyoung. Ok Shim Jaeyoung, let's see what's so freaking great about you. His eyes flick up to the profile pic and the first words that comes to his mind is what the fuck. Minkyun, who looks like he was sculpted by Aphrodite and Venus and Xi Shi and Hathor and the billions of other goddesses of beauty. Minkyun, who looks like a warm croissant on a cold winter's day, and toffee flavored ice cream on a hot summer's night. Minkyun, who's all Changyoon's ever wanted for the last 3 months, is with this pasty ass milquetoast sonovabitch? Is this a practical joke? Changyoon wants to look around the store for a hidden camera. Is Ashton Kutcher going to jump out of the storage room and yell "You just got punked!!"? He wants to shit himself. Instead he turns to Minkyun, slowly nodding and trying his best to sincerely smile.
"Yeah, wow he's....Great. He looks really good." Changyoon lies through his teeth.
Minkyun slowly nods along with him. He's still staring at Changyoon expectantly. There's a look in his eyes that Changyoon cannot for the life of him place. Does he want him to gush more about this James Charles-looking fool? Changyoon was never a good liar. He looks down at the profile picture again. Maybe his jealousy of the guy was clouding his judgement? No, no he still looks like a mess of about 50 different FaceTune filters that all decide to jump into a blender and make a smoothie of disgustingness. Where on earth is the texture? It's all just one gross shade of pink-white, emphasis on the white, and absolutely all traces of blemishes and lines have been erased, which just makes him look like a blow up doll. The fried, platinum white hair isn't doing him any favors either, especially not with those choppy, uneven bangs. He looks like a damn bowling pin.
Changyoon has half a mind to pull out his own Instagram and go toe to toe with Scream mask over here. "Look at me Minkyun! I have impeccable fashion sense and also don't look like an AI generated dating sim model. Oh please please please pick me instead." It's unbelievable. Shim Jaeyoung has to be the nicest guy on the entire planet. Or the richest. Or the most well endowed. Or, in his case, the best tasting cake in the history of cakes. Otherwise it literally wouldn't make sense that Minkyun of all people would be dating this home-brand loosely threaded sheet of white bedspread. Changyoon wouldn't allow it. Not that Changyoon thinks he could ever come close to Minkyun, but still. He's gotta be better than the marshmallow currently on Minkyun's phone screen right? All Changyoon's life amounts to is pain and suffering. He's still fuming even as Minkyun waves goodbye, through the rest of his shift. He closes up the store, goes home, and curses Shim Jaeyoung and his fuzzy bootleg sim face.