Chapter 1: "Losing family is never easy."
Chapter Text
It's crazy, life. You wake up each morning, going about your usual routine, not expecting anything to change.
But change did happen.
Luke Ely had woken up that morning just before dawn as he usually did. Got dressed, went downstairs, checked on the horses in the barn, and prepared a list of things he wanted his sons to do while he was at work. He would go inside, grab a cup of coffee, kiss his wife good morning, and go to work. Working in the mines was always hard work, but he enjoyed the hard workload and it made going home all the more exciting. Once home, he would ride out to check cattle and, once satisfied, would go inside to freshen up before dinner, then he would sit down with his family and share a meal. After dinner, he would migrate to the living room, depending on the day he would watch the news or if he had reports to run over, he would go to his office. While either of those things was happening, Luke would always allow room for his family to interrupt because he wanted to be with them and the reason he worked so hard was for them.
Tonight was different.
As he was helping clear dishes, the phone started ringing and what he heard on the line was not something he ever wanted to hear again.
For Maxine to say, her husband's face paled was not something to overlook. She watched his grip tighten on the phone. His breaths became shallow and sharp.
"I understand. Yes, get in touch with more details…" He said before giving out his email and other contact details in case he was unreachable on the phone.
He hung up the phone and pressed his head against the wall, holding a clenched fist.
"What's going on, mom?" Maxine turned to see Seth, accompanied by more of her sons, wondering what had their father so shaken. Luke was never like this.
"It's alright. Why don't you all go upstairs or into the living room? Your father and I need to have a serious talk and I'll let you know what's happening, but after we have spoken." She said softly, yet sternly.
Seth gave a silent nod before herding his brothers away.
Stepping cautiously, Maxine placed a hand on the small of her husband's back, surprised by the way he flinched slightly.
"Lucas, who was that?" She asked as gently as she could.
"Isaac's dead." He deadpanned.
Although his eyes misted, he never shed a single tear, but you could see he was hurting and that was enough to make Maxine cry.
"How?"
"House fire. He and his wife died."
"And Joanna?" Maxine's heart raced the moment she asked the question.
"Kid survived, except she's in the ICU under observation. Doctors want to monitor her because she inhaled a lot of smoke and it's caused damage to her lungs." He replied.
"How bad is it?"
He shook his head. "They won't know until she wakes up and until then, they don't know if she has permanent damage."
"Did they say where she was?" The question she asked drove a knife deeper into Luke's heart.
Over 7 years ago, he and his brother, Isaac, had fallen out shortly after a traumatic event. They had gotten into a terrible fight one night and by morning, Isaac had packed up without a word, taking his daughter with him; that was the last Luke or anyone had heard from him.
"Lexington. She's in Lexington."
"As in Kentucky, Lexington?" Maxine asked in shock. She shouldn't be shocked. Both men had been raised around horses, but they didn't expect Isaac to move there.
"I don't understand it either." He said, reading her mind as he reached out to hold her.
Maxine allowed herself to be pulled into the tight embrace, knowing that if he was the one to initiate it, he was seeking comfort. Feeling his sorrow as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, she welcomed the embrace by squeezing her arms tightly around him.
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Two days went by and then another two went by.
"Can someone get that?!" Maxine yelled out from the kitchen as the phone rang.
No answer.
With a frustrated sigh, Maxine stepped away from her cooking to answer the phone, shaking her head, wondering how out of her six sons could no one answer the phone.
"Ely residence." She answered in a chipper voice, "I see, let me go get him for you."
"Go make sure dinner doesn't burn," Maxine ordered one of her sons as she went in search of her husband, she knocked on the open door, finding him going over ranch finances in his office.
"Hey, Max." He greeted her.
"A serious-sounding gentleman is asking for you on the phone."
"Did they say who?"
"No, just that he wanted to speak with you." She replied, handing him the phone before she went back to the kitchen.
"Is everything alright, mom?" Kit asked.
"Everything is fine, honey. Don't worry." She replied with a forced smile as she took over.
"Kinda hard not to. You and dad haven't been right since you got that call about uncle Isaac."
Maxine felt her breath hitch as guilt washed over her. The news had caught her and Luke so badly by surprise that all their sons were wondering what on earth was going on when truth be told, Maxine didn't know either. At least, not until Luke hung up the phone and pulled her away after dinner.
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Dinner had been incredibly quiet and the Ely boys hadn't asked questions or pushed for answers. They had eaten their food and offered to do dishes so the adults could talk. Luke had taken his wife away to their bedroom to talk. The boys knew not to bother them if they were to talk there.
"What was that all about?" Maxine asked as she closed the door, walking to sit beside Luke as he sat on the bed.
"I spoke to Alvin Parker. He's a lawyer involved with Joanna's case, and he wanted to inform me about Isaac's will."
She sat up straighter, trying to show she was listening, but he already knew he had her full attention.
"According to his will, it clearly states me and you are Joanna's legal guardians in the event of…" Luke swallowed thickly.
"Death or a terminal sickness that would leave him incapable of caring for her." Maxine finished for him, "I remember signing the will when Joanna was born, but I didn't think he would leave it untouched. Especially after what happened between the two of you and when he moved away… Are you sure?"
"Max? Do you think a lawyer would call to mess me around?" He asked in disbelief, "Sorry, that was uncalled for." He apologized, taking her hand.
"I'm going to let this slide because this is an awful lot to take in. What happens now? Did he give an update on Joanna?"
Luke gave a small nod. "She's awake and responsive. The good news is she is young and recovering a lot quicker than expected, and doctors are saying she will be released in the next three days."
"Who is she going to stay with? What happens to her now?" Tears filled Maxine's eyes at the thought of what was going to happen once the young girl was released from the hospital.
"Mr. Parker explained to me Joanna would stay with friends until she was well enough to travel. He has explained that a caseworker will get in touch with us, Miss Karla Madden. From there, she will talk about living arrangements because, according to Isaacs's will, Joanna will be in our care."
"We can't do that to the poor girl…" Maxine said softly, "I love our sons dearly, but don't you think it would be too much to expect a young girl to live with that many boys? How old is she? Ten? Eleven? What happens if we can't take her?"
"Then she goes into the foster system. Isaac had married Sandra Hanshaw, her parents were Mark and Charlotte Hanshaw. Technically, they are Joanna's grandparents, except they can't take her in."
"Why not?"
"They're retired and impossible to reach these days." He explained while Maxine found it hard to believe someone could turn a blind eye to a young child.
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Over the following week, a heaviness hung in the air around Three Ponies Ranch. Luke had received more phone calls from Mr. Parker and, as expected, Miss Karla Madden had gotten in touch with him.
It was a Saturday morning and everyone was gathered either in the kitchen or around.
A knock on the door made a few heads turn. Luke peered through the lace curtain and spotted a familiar old red Scout truck parked outside.
"Hi, dad?" Luke said, sounding unsure as he opened the front door.
Standing before him was MacArthur Ely. Dressed in dark denim jeans, paired with a gray t-shirt, his silver/black hair pulled back in its usual braid. Mac's outfit looked relaxed, but he was a man on a mission.
"Good morning, son." He smiled at his son's confusion.
"It's great to see you, but why didn't you call?"
"Even if I had called, I still would have come over because we needed to talk," Mac said in a no-nonsense manner.
"About what?"
"Joanna." Mac replied, earning Luke's full attention, "We need to discuss living arrangements. I've heard Maxine has expressed a few concerns, and I agree it would be too much at first, but there is nothing to stop us from easing her into this family."
"How so?"
Maxine interrupted the two men, "Before you keep hounding your father with questions. The least you can do is offer him a seat."
"Thank you for the offer, Maxine. But I am alright." Mac could help but chuckle at the way the petite woman scolded her husband.
"Did you want to come inside?" Luke asked.
The older man shook his head. "No, thank you. I came by to talk and see what state the cabin was in."
"May I ask why?" Maxine asked, gaining the same amount of curiosity as her husband.
"From what I understand, you would expect Joanna to live here, or else they will put her into the foster system. We can all agree the latter should not be considered an option." Mac said, noticing the way his son and wife were giving him room to continue talking, "I would offer to take Joanna to live with me, but I don't think living on a reserve would be the best thing for her. What would work is if I were to move into the little house with her until she settles and then we can re-look at the living arrangements."
"You're talkin' about moving back here, just so you can take in Joanna? What happens if she doesn't settle? You're gonna be okay raising her?" Luke asked, wanting to make sure the man knew what he was saying.
"Lucas, I have not lost my mind and I promise you, there has been a lot of thought put into this. I have meditated on the idea, and this is something I want to do."
"Are you sure?" Maxine asked on behalf of her husband.
"Incredibly so. Now, let's go see this house." And without another word, Mac set off toward the trail leading to the cabin.
After talking some more, the three adults concluded it was their best plan if Joanna was going to call this place home. During the week, Miss Madden sent through files to Luke and once he mentioned the arrangement they had planned, she included MacArthur as a caregiver, but Luke and Maxine would be her legal guardians.
Chapter 2: "I think that's her."
Chapter Text
Nothing could have prepared Luke for what he saw.
Both he and Maxine were at the airport waiting for their niece to arrive, while Mac stayed at the ranch to ensure everything was ready for the young girl's arrival. Maxine had wanted to look her best, but not too fancy. Dressed in a crisp blue, linen button-up shirt, tucked into tan Capri pants, she looked friendly. Luke was dressed as you would expect a cowboy to dress. White t-shirt under a plaid shirt, faded blue jeans, cowboy boots, and of course, a Stetson. He had removed the hat once inside the airport with no thought as it was respectful and a force of habit to remove your hat indoors.
"I think that's her," Maxine said, snapping him back to reality.
The sight that had him shocked was the young girl walking into the terminal. If it wasn't for her distinguished Indian features, Luke would have walked past her.
Luke watched the young girl look at the paper in her hands and then up at them. She did that a few times until Maxine moved to greet her.
"Hi, Joanna. I'm your Aunt Max and this is your uncle Luke." The older woman greeted her.
"Good afternoon, uncle Luke and aunt Max," Joanna said politely, extending her hands toward them.
They both shook her hand and Luke gave a polite nod.
Although Joanna remained polite, you could see how nervous and scared she was.
"Have you got many bags?" Maxine asked the young girl.
"Just my carry-on and one suitcase." Jonna replied, "I'm so sorry. Is there a restroom I may use?"
"Of course, and you don't have to apologize," Maxine said softly.
"Why don't you give me your bag and I'll wait for your suitcase?" Luke offered, holding out his hand to take her bag, "What does it look like? So I can grab the right one."
"It's a pink Louis Vuitton, I doubt there will be another as it is from their exclusive range. They only made a handful of them in the same design." Luke's eyebrows shot up in surprise at her reply.
"I'll make sure to look out for it and I'll meet you, ladies, by the truck." He said while he watched them go. Luke took a moment to shake his head.
Joanna had stepped off the plane so elegantly, walking with polished grace and a perfect posture. Being Shoshoni, she had inherited dark mahogany skin, hazel eyes, high cheekbones, and long jet-black hair. She was dressed in a soft pink checkered blazer with a matching skirt and a white blouse underneath; she wore white ballet flats and her long hair was held back with a white headband.
Luke watched her walk away thinking she looked ready to walk down a runway, not live on a working ranch. He started shaking his head when he saw the suitcase on the carousel and he continued to wonder what life his brother would have led if Joanna was like this. Smartly dressed, well-mannered, and looking like she had been raised into wealth, a lot of wealth.
As they left the airport and pulled onto the main highway, Maxine noticed the young girl was staying silent, looking out the window with a blank expression on her face.
“I hope you like horses,” Maxine said, breaking the silence.
With a questioning “hmm”, Joanna turned to look at her.
“I said, I hope you like horses. We have a lot of them on the ranch, and the boys can show you a lot of places you can ride.” Maxine said, repeating what she said with a warm smile.
“Yes, I do. I love horses. Back home, I spent my life around them and competed regularly in competitions.” Joanna said.
“What competitions did you compete in?” The question had gotten Luke’s attention from his wife.
“Mostly show jumping, but I do a bit of dressage, and we have so much land at home. On the property, there were so many trails you could ride and there were some that had cool obstacles including jumps and…” Joanna suddenly stopped talking, her breath hitched in her chest. Looking up at her Aunt, she saw pity in the older woman’s eyes.
“We had so much land. It’s fine, I need to get used to the fact that there’s no going back to the home I once knew.” She said, smiling tightly, trying to get a better grip on her emotions.
And like that, Maxine watched her put on a mask. She gave a side glance to her husband, realizing the cowboy wasn’t going to say a word from his neutral expression as he drove.
“Is there much to do around Darton?” Joanna asked curiously, "I take it that is going to be a no." She added, hearing her uncle chuckle.
"You're not completely wrong. There is plenty to do in Darton, but we live out in the rural side of Darton County." He said, flicking his eyes towards the rearview to catch her curious expression.
"I'm sure you lived away from the city," Maxine commented.
"We did, but my parents did an awful lot of traveling. The biggest thing that has me nervous isn't Darton being small, it's ranch life." Joanna admitted.
"Oh honey, you are going to be alright. We have all agreed that we will not force you into things."
"What do you mean?"
"We're not gonna have you muckin' out stalls and shiftin' cattle on your first day," Luke explained, watching the young girl's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
"Don't you have stable hands?"
"No, we don't and we don't need to hire anyone. There's enough of the boys to keep the ranch runnin' when I'm not around."
"Miss Madden, my caseworker, mentioned you and aunt Maxine have sons. Which would mean they are my cousins. She mentioned you had sons vaguely and didn't tell me names or how many of them there were."
"There's seven of 'em. Kit, Adam, Nate, Seth, Bryan, Quinn, and Jake," Luke said, his voice holding a sense of pride.
Silence filled the car, and it wasn't until he heard his wife's voice that he realized something was wrong.
"Lucas, pull over," Maxine said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.
Taking a look at the concern on her face, he looked in the rear-view mirror to see Joanna’s face pale as her breaths came in short pants.
Chapter 3: "Welcome to life in rural Nevada."
Chapter Text
One day, you have everything you could ever want in life, and the next day, it's gone.
There in front of her was the place she had once called home. Now it was nothing more than rubble. Supporting beams stood tall, holding up the blackened home, but that was it. Everything else had been consumed by the unforgiving fire.
Joanna Marsha Hanshaw was an orphan without a home. She looked to her right as somebody grabbed her hand, there standing beside her, was her best friend Charlie. The two had grown up together and spent their days riding horses.
Closing her eyes, she felt the fear of that night rise in a shaking breath. She heard the frightened cries of her mother, and the terrified look on her father’s face as she wondered if they would ever make it out alive. The room she stood in had once been the family living room. Part of the ceiling had collapsed and sunlight now shone through, but even the bright light couldn’t lift the haunted feeling the room gave her. Everything was burnt to ashes, yet Joanna could point out every piece of furniture in her mind, remembering all the memories that the place held when it had been beautiful. Any second now, she could open her eyes, and this nightmare would all be over. That this was just a horrible nightmare, nothing more than a dream.
"I'm sorry," Charlie whispered, grabbing her hand as he clutched it tightly.
Joanna had heard so many versions of people giving her their condolences, but hearing it from him made it hurt so much more. Hearing him say that meant this wasn’t a nightmare. This was real, and Joanna wasn’t ready to face that reality.
Finding words beyond her, she gave him a nod, gripping his hand tighter.
The two friends stood on the blackened ground that once had been home. Staying quiet as they remembered all the happy memories that had come from the home.
"Let's go, Charlie and Joanna." A voice called, ushering the two kids to the car.
Since losing her parents, Sandra and Isaac Hanshaw, she had been staying with Charlie's parents. Once she had been released from the hospital, Joanna spent a week there with doctors monitoring her closely. What had her confused was how distant her grandparents had become. Her grandma Charlotte and grandpa Mark had visited her twice, maybe three times in the hospital, but not once since she had left. Joanna had been incredibly confused the last time she'd seen her grandmother as the woman had kissed her head, telling her to be strong and take care. In the weeks that followed, Joanna began to understand what she had meant.
Three weeks later, Joanna stepped off a plane at Darton domestic airport, thousands of miles away from the home she knew. Her stomach churned with uncertainty as she followed the other passengers to what she hoped was an air-conditioned arrivals lounge. Tightening her grip on the picture she held in her hands, it was the only thing she could use to identify her aunt and uncle. Joanna had been sent the picture from her caseworker, Miss Madden. The woman had called her to say she would be moving to Nevada to live on her uncle and aunt's ranch! Shocked was an understatement for the poor girl, not only had she never met her uncle Luke and aunt Maxine, she had never heard about them and she was going to live with them! Well, not them, she would be living on the property in a cabin with her grandfather MacArthur, but once again, he was a stranger.
Looking down at the picture once more, she looked up to see a head of blonde hair bounce with excitement as the woman waved. That woman was her aunt Maxine and Joanna assumed the man beside her was her uncle Luke. Standing tall, he looked scarily like her father, but with more of a cowboy flair.
"Here we go…" Joanna muttered under her breath, before inhaling deeply.
"Hi, Joanna. I'm your aunt Max and this is your uncle Luke." The older woman greeted her as she got closer.
"Good afternoon, Uncle Luke and Aunt Max," Joanna said politely, extending her hands toward them.
Joanna noted the quiet nature of her uncle Luke and guessed he wasn't much of a talker. The only cowboys she had seen were those in movies or the one time she'd gone to a rodeo, uncle Luke looked like them but a little less polished. He looked much more authentic and you could see he worked much harder than the Hollywood cowboys.
"Have you got many bags?" Her aunt Maxine asked before silence could arise.
"Just my carry-on and one suitcase." Joanna replied, "I'm so sorry. Is there a restroom I may use?"
"Of course, and you don't have to apologize," Maxine said softly.
"Why don't you give me your bag and I'll wait for your suitcase?" Luke offered, holding out his hand to take her bag, "What does it look like? So I can grab the right one."
"It's a pink Louis Vuitton, I doubt there will be another as it is from their exclusive range. They only made a handful of them in the same design." Joanna replied nonchalantly, watching her uncle's eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
"I'll make sure to look out for it and I'll meet you, ladies, by the truck." He said, recollecting himself.
After using the facilities, Joanna stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror.
“You’re fine.” She said to herself, hoping a pep talk would help her, “Uncle Luke and Aunt Maxine seem like really nice people and I’m sure you are going to be okay.”
Catching her own hazel eyes, she wasn’t sure if she’d convinced herself as her stomach continued to churn.
“We can’t stay in here forever. Eventually, we have got to walk out with our head held high and face whatever comes next.” Her heart ached as she said the words.
After she had taken an embarrassing fall off her horse, Joanna had hidden in the horse trailer, refusing to leave. Sandra, her mother, had found her, pulling her into a warm embrace before saying those same words Joanna had recited. Joanna remembered standing up, taking in a deep breath as her chest rose, and stepping outside. It was a good thing she had because she had won first place in her class and had gone home with another ribbon for show jumping.
When she walked out, her aunt Maxine gave her a soft smile before leading her out of the airport to where her uncle stood by an old red and white Ford pickup truck.
“I believe it is safe to assume you have my suitcase?” Joanna asked her uncle.
“Correct, it was the first one I saw on the carousel. You weren’t joking about it bein’ pink." He replied, giving her a small smile.
As they pulled onto the highway her aunt Maxine kept a conversation going between them. Joanna had asked how many sons her aunt and uncle had.
"There's seven of 'em. Kit, Adam, Nate, Seth, Bryan, Quinn, and Jake." Luke said, his voice holding a sense of pride.
Seven sons? That’s seven boys! Joanna felt the color drain from her face and her breaths became shallow and erratic. She barely heard her aunt’s voice as everything became muffled. It must have been her aunt telling her uncle to pull the car over because a moment later Joanna was fumbling for the door handle.
Gasping for air as she walked away from the truck, Joanna didn’t wander far, but far enough to get space. What the heck was everyone thinking?! Expecting her to move to cowboy county, Nevada to live with strangers and their seven sons. It was hard enough moving away, but living with so many people made her feel sick to the pit of her stomach. Joanna was raised as an only child, she knew nothing about life with siblings or cousins.
Joanna closed her eyes, gulping as she took in deep breaths. Moments passed and once her breathing was more controlled, she opened her eyes, taking in the sight before her.
Sand-colored mountains stretched far and wide, sage bushes scattered across the desert ground and in the distance, she saw something that stole her breath. A herd of wild horses galloped before her very eyes. The herd was made up of beautiful bays, chestnuts, grays, and paint horses. Joanna watched in awe as the herd moved together, moving with such grace and beauty that she couldn’t tear her eyes away.
“Isn’t it beautiful?”
Without looking, she knew the voice belonged to her aunt.
“It is. It almost feels like being in a dream.”
“Welcome to life in rural Nevada. Most days you can see horses as you drive along the highway or you will see them if you go out riding. Luke and the boys are always seeing them when they check fences and other work around the ranch.” Her aunt spoke in a soft voice, almost as if she spoke too loudly, she would break the enchantment the wild horses had cast.
“I’ve never seen wild horses like this,” Joanna admitted.
“Sorry for freaking out.” She added, pulling her hair over her shoulder.
Maxine watched the young girl awkwardly play with her hair, making something inside her stir.
“There is nothing to be sorry for because I would have freaked out too if I was in your shoes. I could stand here telling you that I and your uncle Luke have raised our sons to be respectable young men, except that may mean nothing to you. Joanna, you are entitled to be scared and whatever emotions you are feeling. It is all understandable, and we have factored that in.” Maxine said, placing a comforting hand on the young girl's shoulder, “Your grandpa Mac said living in the main house would be too much and he suggested you live with him in the cabin. It isn’t far from the house, plus it would be quieter and would make it an easier transition for you.”
“Wow, you all sound like you have taken so much into consideration. Thank you."
"Of course." Maxine said, putting an arm around the young girl's shoulders, "Are you alright to keep going? I imagine you have already had a big day and would like to lie down?"
Joanna gave a small nod, letting her aunt lead her back to the truck.
Turning off the highway and driving a little further the truck pulled to a stop.
"I can get the gate," Maxine said, jumping out of the cab.
An archway made up of heavy wooden posts, nestled between two square pillars greeted them. Hanging from the archway, Joanna read, " Three Ponies Ranch " It looked like something out of a western film.
Once her aunt Maxine was buckled in again, they kept driving along the long driveway. Passing by, Joanna saw a variety of different horses suited for ranch work. They were mostly quarter horses, but they had good conformation and beautiful coats made up of bays, sorrels, chestnuts, roans, grays, and a few appaloosas. It was looking like the young girl had traded lush green pastures and white picket fences for sparse grass and desert as far as the eye could see.
“Home sweet home,” Luke uttered, giving a few cowboys a friendly wave as they drove by.
Joanna watched a German Shepherd come barreling towards the car, barking in excitement. Except they kept driving, her eyes took in the sight of the huge stone house before her.
“It was built during the Civil War with walls two feet thick to withstand attacks from hostile Indians,” Maxine said, sounding like the teacher she was.
“No, kidding,” Joanna replied, trying to hide the shock in her voice.
“The house may look a bit intimidating from the outside, but Max has done a good job at making the place feel welcoming,” Luke said, praising his wife, watching a faint blush rise on her cheeks.
Once the truck stopped, a man stepped out of the cabin, walking towards the truck with a smile on his face.
“As you can see, the cabin isn’t too far from the house. Just because you are living in the cabin, it does not mean you have to isolate yourself here. This is your home and you are welcome anywhere.” Maxine said, turning in her seat to talk to Joanna.
Not knowing how to respond, Joanna gave a nod.
“Good. Now, let’s get you settled.” Maxine replied in a chipper voice.
Stepping out of the truck, Joanna automatically moved to shake the older man’s hand. He gave a small chuckle.
“Good afternoon. I take it you are my grandpa MacArthur?” She asked, knowing the answer, but wanting to be sure.
“Yes, except you can call me grandpa Mac or grandfather. MacArthur sounds too formal.” Mac said. His tone of voice wasn’t harsh or upset, it was kind and welcoming.
Meeting her grandfather, Joanna could see where both her father and uncle Luke had gotten their looks from. He had the same features as his sons, but his worn face held a soft expression. There was a kindness in his hazel eyes that matched his kind-natured voice and as he clasped his hand in hers, it had surprised her by how soft his rough-looking hands had been. He looked like a man that had worked hard his entire life and had wisdom beyond his years.
Joanna watched her grandfather and uncle Luke silently communicate before the elder placed a hand on her back.
“Shall we get you settled inside?” Mac said, guiding her towards the cabin.
It was a simple-looking place and was a lot smaller than the main house. Built with gray/brown wood, the cabin seemed to blend in well with the surrounding pine trees and shrubs. Even though Mac knew Joanna could see where everything was, he still pointed things out.
Seeing the young girl's eyes scan around the room, she nodded, choosing to stay quiet, and Mac could sense she was on the verge of falling apart. Not wanting to draw attention, he kept pointing things out to her until they got to a door.
“This is your room.” He said.
Joanna cautiously stepped into the middle of the small space, spinning in a slow circle.
Light from the afternoon sun streamed into the room, bathing a chest of drawers and a single bed in a warm glow. There was a bookcase tucked against the wall opposite the bed. Although the room was not that big, Joanna could see everything she would need. A bed, drawers, a wardrobe big enough for her clothes, but small enough to fit into the room, and the bookcase that she thought was nice. She had always enjoyed reading on a rainy day when it was too wet to be with the horses, or she would read in the stables.
“I apologize for how bare the room looks. Except, I wasn’t sure what you liked, but I thought you could at least enjoy reading horse books. My understanding is that you like horses.” Mac said, trying to get her to talk.
“Yeah, I spent my life around them,” Joanna replied.
Mac caught Maxine’s eye. There was something in the young girl’s voice that had them both worried. As she had spoken, her voice wavered, and she struggled to look them in the eye.
“Do you need help unpacking?” Maxine asked her. Joanna shook her head, “Alright, honey. If you need anything, you can ask your grandfather or walk to the house.”
After Luke had dropped her luggage in the room, he left, leaving her with her grandfather and aunt.
“I’ve also left some useful members by the phone in case you need someone,” Mac said, adding to what Maxine had told her.
“Thank you, but I’ll be alright,” Joanna said quietly, trying her best to remain polite.
“Allow me to walk you out.” Mac offered, turning to Maxine.
The older woman took one last glance at Joanna, watching the young girl sitting on the bed.
“She is going to be okay, Max.” He said once he closed the door, walking with her.
“That poor girl has been through so much, and I can’t tell you how worried I am about her.”
Mac saw the woman had a lot on her mind and offered her a seat on the porch.
“I can see it on your face and hear it in your voice. It is natural for you to feel this amount of concern.” He said, trying to comfort her as he reached for her hand.
“You should have seen her face when Luke told her how many sons we had. I watched her face pale, and it hit me so hard. For starters, it means she doesn’t remember living here at all, and second…” Maxine paused, “We do not know what life she led in Lexington, and I’m quickly trying to get up to speed.”
He clasped her hand, placing his other hand to cover hers. “Joanna was raised as an only child in a very wealthy environment. I expect her to be in a lot more shock than we all are feeling. She was too young to remember her life here and with the amount of trauma she has suffered, I was not surprised that Joanna cannot remember. This will take time and we have that.”
“For now, I am going to give her some space and allow her to have a moment to herself. I will check in on her in a few hours.” He said, patting her hand before rising from his seat.
“Should she be alone for that long?”
“Max, you need to trust me and trust my ability to be her support right now.” Mac’s voice was kind, but his stern look made her feel like one of her students.
She gave a loud sigh. “I’m sorry. I am not trying to undermine you or doubt you.”
“It is difficult to leave a girl looking like a lost calf,” Maxine smirked at the expression he used, and it was how she felt.
“Please, if you need anything…”
“I will be knocking on your door,” Mac assured her.
“Okay.”
Maxine had hardly walked through the door before her sons were asking questions.
“Dad said we couldn’t see Jo?” Quinn questioned.
“Yeah, and when we asked him why he just told us to leave her alone,” Bryan said, sounding hurt over their father's abrasive answer.
“Joanna has had a big day and is trying to process a lot of information. Give her some time to settle and then introduce yourselves.” She said, combing a hand through Bryan’s hair . Instantly, he made a face at how she tried to coddle him.
“Mom…” He protested, bating her hands off his head. “How long until we can see her?”
“Why can’t we see her now? Does she know we exist?” Quinn asked, looking at her expectantly.
“She knows you exist.” Maxine laughed at the question. “Joanna was an only child and hearing about a ranch with six boys is a lot. There is nothing wrong with that, but we have to be careful. with her. She isn’t like Samantha Forster. You can’t josh her around or tease her as you do with Sam.”
“So, what do we do?”
“Wait until you see her around the ranch and say hi. Don’t overwhelm her.”
Quinn pursed his lips.
“And if she doesn’t?” He asked.
“She will.”
“But, if she doesn’t? Like it’s been a month?” Bryan asked, rephrasing what Quinn had said.
“At that point, Joanna and your grandfather would have been over for dinner three times. We arranged they would join us for Sunday supper, so it would get her out of the cabin at least once a week. And once school starts again, she will be going.” Maxine said.
“That’s two weeks away!”
“We can’t push her,” Maxine replied softly.
“Why does she get special treatment?”
“Because her parents died in a fire and she’s now living in a different state.” The two boys turned at the blunt reply, watching as Seth walked towards them. “Seriously, the poor kid has been through enough, and I think we can all agree that we’re a lot.”
Quinn and Bryan went to utter a protest when Seth kept talking.
“Give her at least a day."
"Fine," Quinn muttered, turning to walk away.
"Does she even like horses?" Bryan asked Quinn in a hushed tone.
Maxine and Seth smiled as the conversation progressed between the two boys.
"She grew up on a horse farm, so I guess…"
As their voices grew more distant, Maxine felt an arm wrap around her shoulders.
"You doin' okay?" Seth asked.
"Are," she replied without needing to think twice.
He gave a low laugh. Even with the frown lines caused by whatever was on her mind, she was still in teacher mode.
" Are you alright?" He said, emphasizing the word in such a way that made her frown turn into a stern look.
"I'm fine. It has been a big day and I imagine this is just the beginning." She admitted, knowing she could confide in her son without needing to deal with repercussions.
"Could I ask you to do something?" Maxine said, pulling away from him, watching his face twist in confusion. "You are not in trouble and it is nothing bad."
"What is it?"
"If you can, can you keep an eye on Joanna? She doesn't remember living here at all and me, your father and your grandfather have agreed not to bring up the subject unless she asks us, not you boys. What I want for her right now is someone that won't give her a hard time. Show her around the ranch, see if she wants to go out riding, and offer to be her friend." She said, pausing for a moment before talking, "I understand there is an age gap and…"
"Mom." Seth interrupted her as he grabbed both her shoulders, "I can easily look out for the kid, but like you told the twerps…" He smiled at her frown, "They are and you know it. But, as I said before, I'm gonna give her a day to venture out by herself. If she doesn't, then I'll try to coax her out."
Seth watched the mixture of emotions cross her face before she gave a small, closed half-smile.
“Thank you.” She whispered, wrapping her arms around his waist. Her mouth curved into a full smile as he rested his chin on the top of her head. Trust her sons to inherit their father's tall genes. Although her youngest boys, Jake and Quinn, were about the same height as her, she knew it was only a matter of time before they shot up like weeds.
Chapter 4: "Don't make me do this alone."
Chapter Text
Knocking on the door, Mac was met with silence.
MacArthur had left Joanna to get settled and unpack. That was two hours ago, and he hadn't heard a single noise from her room since.
Wanting to make sure she was alright, Mac had gone to check on her.
"Joanna?" He called gently, continuing to knock on the door.
Nothing.
"Joanna, I need to know you are okay."
Still nothing.
"I'm coming in!" He raised his voice, not wanting to disrespect her privacy.
Opening the door slowly, his heart sank at the sight.
Sitting in the middle of the floor, her suitcase open, still full of clothes yet to be out in a drawer. He guessed she had been like that for quite some time.
"I have been calling for you. Why didn't you answer?" He said lightly, crossing his arms as he waited for an answer.
Her lips trembled as she tried to answer with words too quiet for Mac to hear.
"Joanna, I'm sorry, but I cannot understand what you are saying."
Looking up with tear-streaked cheeks, she muttered loudly enough for him to hear, "They're gone. Everything is gone and I can't go back and they are never coming back."
Mac eased himself onto the hardwood floor with a groan, he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder; Joanna reacted to the touch by crying more. With little thought, he opened his arm, and she curled into the embrace. Mac held her while listening to the heartbroken sobs that fell off her lips. He held her close as he felt a protective instinct take hold of him. No one here knew her side of the story. All they knew was what they had read on paper and the rest was assumptions made on the broken fragments they could gather of the life she had once lived.
"I can't do this, I… can't do it…" She sobbed.
"You can. I promise you, you will get through this and you will heal."
"It hurts so much," He squeezed her tighter at her words.
Her breaths came in shallow pants as the tears kept falling.
Truth be told, this was the first time Joanna had cried since losing her parents. That horrible night, she had cried in the arms of the firefighter responsible for saving her life. He held her tightly as she struggled in his grip, fighting to pull away and go back towards her burning house. After that night, she had held a tight lid on her emotions. Even at her parents' funeral, only a single tear slipped down her cheek.
It was as though she had been building up to this moment. The lead-up to today had been filled with uncertainty and she had been scared. Today, Joanna felt like she had dropped from the sky, fearing that she would never feel the ground again.
Mac stayed sitting on the floor, despite the protest from his aching joints, not wanting to let go of her. Shifting carefully, he was able to lean back against her bed and keep rubbing circles on her back. He was doing what he could to allow her the space to cry or do whatever she needed to do. For all he cared, Joanna could be yelling at him if he thought it would help her, because, by the way she cried, Mac knew she had been bottling this emotion inside for some time. As hard as it was to listen to her cry, it would have been harder to be in her position. To have been feeling this way inside, pushing the emotions deeper and letting them fester, only causing more pain when they finally erupt.
"I don't know how I am supposed to live my life without them. Lexington was my home and even that's gone."
"You need to listen closely to me." He said, gently pulling her away from him, "First, you do not have to do this alone. If you trust me enough, I will walk every step with you. This is hard and you have every right to be scared, but you are not alone. We will take this one day at a time. I understand I am only a stranger to you and it feels the same for me, but communication is going to be our best way to build a relationship."
"Please, I can't talk about it." Her breath hitched, shaking her head as fresh tears fell.
"You can talk about that when you are ready. What I am saying is, if we are going to get along well, communication would be nice."
"What do you mean?" She asked, lifting her eyes with a sniffle.
He gave a soft smile as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, wiping the tears from her cheeks before handing her the item. It was a habit he'd been doing for as long as he could remember. Carrying a handkerchief in his shirt pocket, so if a lady ever cried, he could offer a courteous gesture.
Mac waited until she blew her nose before he answered her question.
"I believe communication would be nice because I don't know what makes you, Joanna. You told me you like horses and I take it you like pink," He said, gesturing to what she wore and the bright suitcase on the floor, "But I would like to know you better. You can ask me anything. I want you to see me as the man I try to be, honest and worthy of your trust."
"Okay," she replied in a quiet voice.
When she moved back into his arms, he felt surprised.
"Don't make me do this alone." Her voice was barely above a horse whisper.
"Keep trusting me and I am with you the whole way." He promised her, "Are you feeling well enough for me to sort out some dinner for the two of us? Maybe you could try to put away your things in the drawers."
"There isn't much to put away."
"Well, if you want to come out to the kitchen after you are done unpacking, you could come and keep me company while I cook?" He suggested, watching her face fall, "Before I start cooking, do you have any allergies I should know? And do you have foods you dislike eating?"
She gave a shake of her head. "I eat almost everything but I don't like caviar or truffles. Though I doubt I'll be offered those anytime soon."
Deciding not to draw attention to her sudden change of mood, Mac slowly rose from the floor with an audible groan. He would be a fool to deny that he was not getting any younger. Especially as his back cracked when he stood up taller. Making his way into the kitchen, trying to figure out what to make, he thought about Joanna.
To prepare for her arrival, Mac had gotten a hold of a few books he thought would help. One had been about raising a daughter and although he was only her grandfather, he was playing a fathering role in her life and as time passed, he would play a mothering role too. Joanna was young, but she was growing up and as she became a teenager, Mac would need to prepare himself for the challenges that arise with that. It was difficult because he was trying to understand what could be female emotion or emotion caused by drama. For now, it would be safe to assume both without him causing distress to her.
Dinner was a quiet affair.
Mac had tried his best to keep a conversation between himself and the young girl, though it seemed she was not interested. Giving short and quiet replies, he decided not to push it when silence filled the air. The times he caught her looking at him, she turned her gaze awkwardly away, not feeling able to catch his eyes.
"Thank you for dinner." She said, getting up from her seat and walking away.
Noticing how she left her plate, Mac opened his mouth to scold her when he stopped. With a sigh, he watched her disappear down the hallway and heard her bedroom door close. Tonight he would ignore the rudeness and would bring it up another time. It was her first night here and he couldn't reprimand her like did his grandsons, at least not yet.
After cleaning up his cook's dishes and those used for eating dinner, he allowed himself the time to think about why Joanna had a sudden change of mood. Mac had wanted to knock on her door and check in on her. He left her be, not wanting to push her. Instead, he settled down in the small space designated as the living room. A couch sat across a log burner, and a bookcase to one side of the room. Stepping across the space was the kitchen with a small table and chairs that served as a dining table, and of course, as you stepped through the front door, you could see all of this. It was plenty big enough for two people to live comfortably in, and Mac couldn't imagine someone needing more than what the cabin provided. A place to sit by a warm fire on cold winter nights, somewhere to cook full meals and a place to enjoy them, each person had their own room with a bed to rest their head, a bathroom that was fully plumbed including having a bathtub, and the cabin had electricity. The only thing it didn't have was the internet, but out here, you were lucky to get cell service, and even then, that could be patchy.
Putting down his book, Mac realized that he had stopped reading a long time ago and had been lost in thought. Looking around the room, he was happy about the cabin, but she may not be. This could be another obstacle she was trying to face, and maybe she needed some reassurance. Getting up slowly, he placed the book back on the bookshelf and walked toward the hallway.
Joanna had put her clothes away in the drawers and sat on the bed, knees drawn up to her chest, her eyes downcast.
A knock on the door made her look up.
"Come in." She said, uncurling her arms from around her knees as she sat up straighter. Watching her grandfather walk into the room.
"You went quiet over dinner and I can only assume you are feeling embarrassed over what happened, but I see no need to dwell over that. We are human and we all feel emotion and it is alright and…"
"Please." She cut him off, shaking her head.
She noticed how her grandfather stood in the doorway, not stepping into the room. His face held a gentle kindness and his eyes seemed to hold concern over her. It left Joanna wondering if he was always like this?
"Before dinner, I had spoken to you about trusting me and communication. What I had failed to tell you was things would work around here." He said.
"What do you mean?" She asked, feeling her brow furrow in confusion.
Mac ducked his head slightly as a small smile appeared on his face before he looked at her.
"You need to know how I plan to live with my granddaughter."
"Oh." Joanna's voice fell flat. "I hadn't thought about that. To be honest, I had freaked out about all of my cousins and I have been trying not to think about everything else, but yeah, I'll add this to the list." She replied honestly, feeling panic rise with each breath she took.
"I did not intend to distress you."
"I know that."
"Alright."
"Why are you standing in the doorway?"
He looked taken aback at her question.
"I felt I had violated your privacy by stepping into your space without permission. Every space in the cabin is shared, except your room, and I will always respect that space. You will quickly learn I will always knock and wait for permission to enter a room. I will only enter if I fear for someone's well-being. There is a working lock on your bedroom door and I don't have any way to unlock it, so I am trusting you to use it with good intentions because my only entry will be breaking down the door. Of course, there is a lock on the bathroom door and it will be the same outcome if I need to get in." He paused for a moment, allowing her to process what had been said, "It must be difficult to think about sharing a space with a man you barely know, except I want to respect you and this place because this is your home as much as it is mine."
Swallowing thickly, Joanna felt tears spring in her eyes. The tone he used was sincere, and she was learning how much thought had been put into her life and well-being. A man was making sacrifices for her when he barely knew her.
"The only embarrassing thing you have to deal with is how you react to things. Joanna, I will be here for you in every possible way. You let me know where the line is." He added.
"And for that to work, I need to communicate with you." She said, feeling her breath catch as her mind raced and he noticed this.
"You need to be logical about this, Joanna. Whatever I do will be done by taking very cautious steps and with every obstacle, we come across, we will overcome it together."
Joanna felt words were beyond her and only managed a vigorous nod.
"Good. Thank you for letting me talk. Now, it has been a big day and I'm sure you are tired, so may I suggest turning in early for the night? I'll let you use the bathroom first. If you need anything, your aunt Maxine made sure you had everything you may need. There's a fresh towel hanging up and if you need more, you will find them in the hallway closet. Thankfully, you like pink because we bought you new towels to avoid any mishaps.
The thought of a shower sounded like heaven. Hopefully, she could wash away a part of the stress she had felt these past days.
Although Joanna had packed everything she needed. It was nice to see her aunt Maxine had wanted to ensure she was going to be comfortable. She smiled at the fruity-scented shampoo and conditioner; the lavender-scented body wash and the pink towel she saw hanging up and a smaller version used as a hand towel. It was something someone else may have overlooked, but Joanna found herself being grateful for the simplest of things. Saying this cabin was now her new home was too hard for her to think about just yet, so for the time being. Three Ponies ranch was going to be treated like a weird pony camp away from her parents.
Oh, who was she kidding?
As the water ran down her face, so did her tears. Washing away the emotion of today and the past weeks before like water down the drain, Joanna knew she couldn't stay in here crying, allowing the water to wash away her tears. Shutting off the water, she stepped out and caught the image of her face in the mirror as she brushed her teeth. The girl in the mirror looked like her, but she didn't feel like her. She felt lost and without a home.
Chapter 5: "Where the hell am I?"
Chapter Text
Waking up to the sound of friendly neighs was always the best way to wake up.
Joanna rolled over with a content sigh, snuggling deeper into the covers, and would have fallen back asleep if she hadn't heard the noise of cattle.
"MoOOoo."
Sitting up in an instant, she woke up disoriented as her eyes took in the surrounding room.
"Where the hell am I?" she whispered.
Like a movie, yesterday's events came flooding back in sudden flashes. Taking in deep breaths, she felt like it was too early to be feeling this overwhelmed, especially when she thought she was home in her bed in Lexington. Pulling the covers back with a heavy sigh, her feet touched the wooden floor beneath her.
Getting dressed for the day, Joanna walked out to an empty cabin. As panic set in, she heard a creaking of floorboards, and her grandfather walked through the front door.
"Good morning." Mac greeted her warmly before he frowned at the pale face that greeted him.
"Morning. Sorry, I ah… woke up and… I didn't know where I was and… then you weren't here." Joanna said, speaking in broken sentences, sounding distressed.
"Why don't you sit down?" He offered, placing a hand on her back as he guided her into the kitchen.
Her grandfather pulled out a chair for her to sit in. She watched as he took the seat across from her, placing his folded hands on the table.
"I was unsure of what time you would wake up and I wanted to give you the morning to rest. Sorry for causing you distress. I usually start my day by enjoying a cup of coffee on the porch. It is lovely to watch the world around you wake up. Each creature has a song they sing to welcome a new day, and it is a spectacle to enjoy."
"Wait, you wake up every morning to watch the sunrise?" She asked curiously, her nerves settling as they talked.
"Yes, I do." He replied, missing out on a few details. Like the fact he had no longer lived here, but on a reserve not too far from the ranch. "Can I get you anything for breakfast? We have fruit, cereal, fresh bread your aunt Maxine made, and if you weren't too hungry, there is a trail mix."
"Thank you, but I am not hungry." She said, catching his raised eyebrow, "This is the part where you trust me. I've already had a stressful morning and I'm scared I'll be sick if I eat anything."
Mac gave her a half-smile, appreciating the honesty she had shown. He rose from his seat, filling up the kettle before placing it on the stove to warm.
"How about some tea?" He asked.
"Tea?"
"Yes. If you have an upset stomach, then some herbal tea will help. I always have a nice selection of herbal teas."
"I won't say no. Back home, my grandmother made me take etiquette classes, and they included how to behave in social settings like high tea."
"That makes sense." He replied with a chuckle.
Growing confused, she had wondered what he meant until Joanna realized how she was sitting. Her ankles crossed to one side, folded hands gently placed on her lap, and back and shoulders straight as she maintained eye contact with him. Yesterday, her manners had gone out the window after her outburst, but today they were back.
"There is nothing wrong with how you are presenting yourself," He tried to reassure her, moving around the kitchen as the kettle loudly whistled. "Out here, you will be more likely to see western hospitality being shown instead of another form. Darton county comprises Darton, where most people live, where you go shopping, and where you will go to school eventually; outside of Darton is the smaller town of Alkali, there are a few people that live there, and as you drive through there. You will see many working ranches, mainly beef stock, but ranchers do breed, work, and sell horses."
"I know." She said, her eyes falling downcast.
"Give yourself time. Today is your first day of living in a new place." He placed a steaming gray mug in front of her. "Careful, it will be hot."
"Thank you. While I wait for this to cool down, could you tell me a bit more about these boy cousins of mine? If I'm ever going to leave this cabin, I would like to know what I'm up against."
"Well, you only have to worry about six out of the seven." He tried making a light joke, which she appreciated. "Kit, the eldest of the boys, left home a year ago to make a name for himself on the rodeo circuit. Luke is mighty proud of his son while Maxine worries for him, as she should because she's his mother. Since Kit left, Adam has stepped up as your uncle Luke's foreman and takes his role as big brother seriously, too. Nate keeps to himself, but you will see him around the ranch working. Seth, you may get along well with him. He is a gentle soul and usually one of the first to be pushed around, as the other boys tend to be a bit rougher than him. Bryan is a troublemaker, but Quinn is usually the one to lead him astray. The two boys enjoy finding ways to prank their brothers. Jake, the youngest of the lot, is the target most of the time. He is shy, but is very passionate about horses."
Joanna listened with great interest, despite her racing heart.
"How old are they?" She asked, seeing her grandfather take a moment to think.
"Kit will be about 20, Adam is 19, Nate is 17, Seth is 16, Bryan is soon going to be 14, Quinn is 12, and Jake is 11. There is a one-week difference between you and Jacob."
"There's a lot of them, even without the older one, Kit?" she asked, sounding unsure, but her grandfather gave a slow nod. "Maybe I'll stay here for the day."
"You can do as you please, Joanna. No one is going to force you to do anything extreme. They are loud trouble finding boys, except your aunt Maxine knows how to keep them in line and you will find she does a good job of ruling her house of men. Your uncle Luke is head of the ranch and the house, but he finds she does well to keep them being well-mannered boys when she can."
The conversation flowed nicely between them. Joanna kept asking questions about the boys and while he gave her answers, he tried to ask his questions but was given small replies. It seemed like the young girl was more interested in finding information than she was giving it. Focusing on the fact she was taking an interest in how ranch life was for the boys, instead of half ignoring his questions, made him content for the time being. He understood this was her first full day on the ranch and it would be scary for her. Mac tried his best to calm her nerves enough for her to get the courage to explore the ranch.
A knock on the door interrupted their conversation.
Moving with stiff grace, Mac opened the door, smiling.
"Good morning, pop," Maxine said, announcing her presence.
"Good morning, my dear." He moved to kiss her on the cheek, "Please, come in. I and Joanna were enjoying some tea while talking." He explained, offering her a seat.
"Thank you. Good morning, Joanna. Did you sleep well?"
"Good morning, Aunt Maxine. I slept as well as I could. It is always hard trying to sleep somewhere new, but I'm sure I will get adjusted." Joanna replied politely.
Aunt Maxine reached out a hand towards the young girl, giving it a tight squeeze. "You sound like your grandfather has given you an earful, but he is right."
"Grandfather has been amazing with me already, and I appreciate him." Although she still clasped her aunt's hand, Joanna's gaze was on her grandfather. Watching the older man's eyes crinkle a smile of gratitude appeared on his face.
"I'm glad he is looking out for you, and I am sorry for interrupting your conversion before." Aunt Maxine looked between the two.
"You were not interrupting anything, Max. Joanna had been asking about her cousins and I was answering a lot of questions."
"There are a lot of them. Hopefully, your grandfather has not told you all bad things." She used an insinuating tone as she looked at her father-in-law.
"Not at all, unless you say that pranking your brothers is bad."
"Quinn…" Maxine shook her head with a hopeless laugh, "He is usually the first one we ask if chaos breaks out." Her face sobered up when she looked at Joanna. "As I was going to sleep last night, I realized I haven't seen what clothes you have. I and your uncle Luke thought it would have been too much to drag you to the mall yesterday, but I am worried you may not have appropriate ranch clothes."
"Can I be honest?" Joanna asked cautiously.
"Of course."
"I started panicking when I was unpacking my suitcase last night. Since being here, I have seen how overdressed I'll be around here."
"Would you be able to show me?"
"Yes, please." Joanna rose from her seat with her aunt not far behind her.
While the two women were in Joanna's room, Mac cleaned up the dishes from breakfast. It wasn't long before Maxine appeared and announced she was stealing Joanna for the day to go shopping in Darton. Joanna had given him a nervous look, and he saw how quickly she was seeing him as someone to trust. "You will be quite alright and this will be a good opportunity for you to explore Darton." He had said.
After waving his granddaughter off, he walked towards the main house.
"I got to meet Jojo!"
MacArthur turned to see Quinn, one of his many grandsons, walking towards him, seeming happy with himself.
"She seems weird, though. Oww!" Quinn said, rubbing the back of his head where Seth had hit him.
"Be nice," Seth said.
"You could set an example by being nice to your brother." Mac scolded him.
"Sorry, grandfather."
"Hmm, I know your parents have raised you to be respectful. Both of you."
"But did you see what she was wearing? That girl ain't gonna last a week out here!" Quinn exclaimed.
"She may have dressed up to go out shopping?" Seth supplied.
"No, it looks like that is all Joanna has to wear."
"Mom said she grew up around horses?"
"Her life in Lexington differed greatly from here. Joanna grew up around racehorses, show jumpers, and dressage horses; not mustangs and working cow ponies. It sounds like she rode horses, but did not have to work more than grooming her horses."
Seriously?" Both Seth and Quinn questioned him.
"From what I have seen, you would be a fool to deny that she hasn't been raised around money. Poor kid has had one shock after another and I am sure your parents have spoken to you about taking it easy on her for the time being?"
Quinn's face lit up at his grandfather's words. "For now?"
"I am advising you not to judge her based on her looks. Joanna seems like a nice girl that is going through a tough time and a family is something she needs right now."
"She barely knows we exist."
"She knows enough to know that we're all she's got for now," Seth said, placing a hand on his younger brother's shoulder. Making eye contact with his grandfather, the older man gave him an understanding nod.
Without needing to ask, Mac knew Maxine had spoken to Seth, asking him to look out for Joanna.
"Is your father around?"
"Yeah, he's working on the truck with Adam," Seth replied, gesturing in the direction of the vehicle barn.
"Thank you," Mac said, turning to leave.
It looked as though he had walked into the barn at the right moment. As tools clattered to the floor, there was a loud sigh and you could see the cowboy was trying to hide his frustration. The barn housed Luke's tractor, two trucks, and a fire truck.
"This truck may be the death of me." Luke muttered, turning to face Mac, "Morning, dad."
"Good morning, my son. What seems to be the problem?"
"Thankfully, it's nothin' major, but it's enough to cause problems. I'm gonna have to order some parts from Mike's. How's the kid?"
Luke paused, placing his tools down, showing he wanted to talk. Mac took his cue and lent against a nearby truck hood. Both crossed their arms, but in a relaxed manner.
"Joanna is doing her best under current circumstances. She looked to have slept through the night, although I was worried that she skipped breakfast. I tried offering her a few options, but she told me she was feeling queasy so I offered her tea and it gave us the chance to talk."
"I'm sure Max will get her eatin'. It sounds like they're gonna be out most of the day. Max was rambling on about Joanna not lasting a week with her clothes?" Luke sounded confused, his wife had shown a lot of enthusiasm about shopping, but she had also been concerned.
"Hmm, I thought Joanna was going to struggle. I saw what she wore yesterday and today, and it is safe to assume that is all she has."
"She rode horses, though."
"Yes, but she rode with an English saddle and wore proper riding clothes. Not jeans and cowboy boots."
Finding it hard to believe, Luke shook his head. He questioned how long he would wonder about the life Isaac had let Joanna lead? How would Joanna cope living here? She had when she was younger, but now she was older, it appeared she had strayed from the life of a rancher's daughter to a life of wealth.
"Lucas…"
The cowboy snapped back to reality with a shake of his head. Blinking his eyes, he saw his father smiling.
"Are you alright? I lost you for a while." Mac commented. It wasn't like his son to drift off mid-conversation.
"Yeah… no," Luke admitted. "After losing Isaac, I wanted her home. The problem we have all discovered is Lexington was her home and here, she's got nothin'. This kid will need to learn a whole new lifestyle and I don't know if she can handle it based on what I saw yesterday." Although, he tried to be a man of few words. This was something that needed to be said.
Mac drew his shoulders back as he paid close attention to what his son was saying. There was truth to this, but there was also something hidden beneath the surface.
"I'll get back to Joanna. First, talk to me more about your concerns. And don't try hiding anything from me, I know what a concerned father looks like and you are it right now."
"Dad, you're being ridiculous." Luke tried to brush aside the comment.
That was a mistake… even as a grown man, his father could make him feel like a child with a single look.
Taking off his hat as he ducked his head, inhaling and exhaling before meeting his father's eyes.
"She's not even my kid." Luke tried saying, earning a snort of amusement from Mac.
"A DNA test would beg to differ. Yes, Isaac raised her as his own, but you will always have the instinct to protect that child. I believe what you are feeling is good and shouldn't be suppressed. She needs a strong father figure and I am not getting any younger, Luke." Mac said seriously.
"I can't tell her."
"Sooner or later, the truth will come out and you better pray she finds out from you and not someone else." Mac could see his words were taking Luke by surprise the more he talked, but this needed to be said and he was grateful the cowboy was listening, "Now, I didn't come here to confront you."
"Kinda seems like it," Luke grumbled.
Deciding not to dwell on the conversation any longer, Mac kept talking. "Joanna has spent her life around horses and sounds to be an expert rider. Not with western, but she will quickly learn and she cannot do that without a horse. I'm sure you can think of a good horse that would suit Joanna well. Watch her ride a few horses you think would be suitable and go from there."
"Don't you think it's a bit soon?"
"I think she needs to settle into a new routine. Joanna needs structure and a horse will do her good. It will get her out of the cabin, interact with boys, ease her into chores, allow her to explore the range, and help her heal. The last thing I want is to watch her withdraw from the world. I can't let her repeat Isaac's mistake."
"What happened to Isaac was…"
Mac abruptly cut him off.
"Lucas, I know what I said. Moving her away from here was the worst decision he made and I won't go through this again." Mac warned.
"You hardly went through anything!" Luke exclaimed, exploding in sudden anger.
"We can both agree that what happened between you and Isaac was terrible, but my heart broke as I watched a rift form between the two of you," Mac said, looking towards the distance as memories came to the surface. "Talk to the boys about suitable horses for Joanna and find some spare tack she could use."
Pushing off the car, Mac walked away, patting Luke's shoulder as he walked past.
The cowboy stayed in the same spot, taking a deep breath as he tried to process the entire conversation. Trust his father to confront him about his past and leave just as he got angry.
Chapter 6: "I'm not trying to be ungrateful."
Chapter Text
Standing in the mirror, she didn't know how to feel about what she saw.
Long black hair fell off her shoulders, blue plaid over a white shirt. Faded denim jeans with brown boots. She squinted at her reflection in the dimly lit room.
Each time she looked in a mirror, Joanna struggled to believe it was her reflection staring back at her. What she wore wasn’t bad, but it was different.
“How are you getting on, Joanna?” Her aunt’s voice called from the other side of the curtain.
“Good, I guess.”
“Let me see.”
Joanna pulled back the curtain to see her aunt Maxine’s excited tone matched her face. Blonde hair bounced as the older woman stepped closer, reaching out her arms to grab Joanna’s shoulders.
“This seems more appropriate.”
“What do you mean?” Joanna asked, trying not to sound insulted as she saw nothing wrong with the clothes she had.
"Your clothes are beautiful. It would just be a shame for them to get dirty or ripped." Maxine said kindly, "The more time you spend around the ranch, you will understand it is better to be in jeans and shirts, rather than nice skirts and pretty blouses."
Hard as it was to hear those words, Joanna knew what the woman meant. Turning her head to look at her reflection, she wondered what it would be like to have horses out here? Would she have her own horse? Was her horse back home okay? After hearing Joanna was going to be forced to move, Charlie asked his parents if he could keep her horse on his property. Grateful was an understatement for how Joanna felt, but hard as tried to reassure herself that her horse would be well-loved, she longed to be the one to give her love. Mademoiselle Bella Dream, or Belle for short, was a magnificent Hanoverian with a bay coat that gleamed in the sun after a good groom. Belle had been her horse for the past 4 years and the two had won ribbons and trophies that filled many shelves throughout the house. At home, she would ride Belle for the fun of it when they weren't preparing for the upcoming show season.
"Joanna?"
Looking at her aunt, she knew her face must have looked bad. Maxine’s eyes held a sympathetic sadness, making a stray tear fall down the young girl's face as she swallowed thickly.
"I miss home. I miss my mom." Joanna whispered, feeling her chest tighten.
Sandra adored her horses, but she also enjoyed a good shopping spree and even flew with Joanna to different states just to shop. The experience of shopping in a thrift shop was not something the young girl was used to or shopping without her mother. She found it hard to be experiencing new things without her by her side.
When her eyes filled with tears, her aunt Maxine stepped into the dressing room, drawing the curtain to stop people from staring. She welcomed the arms that moved to embrace her and silently cried as her aunt stroked her hair.
"Things may look hard right now, but they will get easier. Joanna, you may cry and be upset. This is new, and it is hard to know what to expect." Maxine spoke in a soothing, hushed tone. "As your guardian, it is to look out for you, and the same goes with being your aunt. I'll always make sure you have everything you need and if you don’t, then we get what you need. Like clothes."
"I'm not trying to be ungrateful." Joanna pulled away, matching her aunt to tone. Panic rose on her face.
"I know. I also know why you would be upset right now. Typically, if a girl loves shopping, she will shop with her mother." Maxine watched Joanna's face fall. "Without her here, I'm doing my best because I want you to have fun. You are young and can't spend your days trapped indoors."
"Who said I was trapped?"
"My fear is you will want to stay inside instead of seeing what excitement there is to be had around the ranch. Your cousins have all been told to take it easy on you, and I know they will want to know you better. This isn't me trying to force you into anything, but finding a new routine would be good, and being around horses."
Joanna stayed quiet. After losing her parents, she had been around horses, but she couldn’t ride them. Even her horse Belle was exercised by Charlie or a stable hand because she couldn't get in the saddle. The young girl was unsure if she could ever get back in the saddle.
"Let's dry those beautiful eyes and shall we keep shopping?" Maxine asked, getting a small nod from Joanna.
When Joanna had gotten back to the ranch, she had disappeared into her room. Maxine had gone to get her when Mac stopped her, saying the girl needed space.
“She cried in the middle of a thrift store,” Maxine said, trying to explain her reason for going after the young girl.
“I could see something had happened and may I advise, we leave her be for a few hours,” Mac said.
“Do you think isolation is what’s best for her?” Maxine found it hard to believe what she was hearing.
“Max, remember we are still strangers to her. She seeks comfort when it gets too much, but after an episode, Joanna shows embarrassment and hides away.”
“We are not strangers. We’re her family, and she doesn’t need to hide from anyone.”
“Joanna is a young girl working through a lot of emotions and shock is setting in. I have been reading about trauma while you two were out and I agree. She should not feel the need to hide away, but if it makes her feel safe, then we cannot stop her. I’ll check on her in a little while and take it slowly.”
Maxine took in a deep breath, wanting to do something and feeling frustrated that she was being told no.
“Talk me through it. How are you checking in on her? Will you go into her room, call her out?” Maxine asked, making the elder give her a bittersweet smile. The woman was pushy when she wanted to be and she did it because she had too big of a heart.
“I promised Joanna I would respect her room as her space and would never enter without permission. This means I will never drag her out of her room, as the space is to be respected like her safe place. My prayer is that the cabin and the ranch will become a haven for her, but for now, I am happy for it to be a room. When I walk into that room, I will not demand answers. I will sit beside her and offer a shoulder and won’t speak unless it feels right to.” He paused. “This first week is crucial because it looks like she is realizing there is no going back to what she knew. You took her shopping today for a new wardrobe. She met some of her household members and she will continue to meet new things. I need to take this time to observe any signs of trauma before it manifests into something worrying.”
“Pop…”
MacArthur reached for her hand, knowing she wasn’t liking where this conversation was going.
“Joanna went through something highly traumatic and I need to be aware of any troubling signs she may show.”
“Please, let me know if she needs me at all.” Mac frowned at the implication her voice held.
“What do you mean, Max?” He asked. “I am not trying to shut you out. While she settles, it is important to give her the chance to breathe and not be overbearing.”
Taking this as her cue, she stepped down gracefully.
“Do you have dinner planned?” She asked, changing the subject.
“We do.” He replied with a nod. “
“Okay, then I will go sort out laundry, so Joanna has clothes for tomorrow.”
“Would you like a hand?” He offered, getting a shake from her.
“I will be alright, but I think Joanna would be embarrassed if she knew you had seen her underwear.” Maxine implied.
Mac’s eyebrows shot up at the last sentence.
“Joanna is going to understand you cannot do everything and chores are shared on this ranch. I feel more than prepared for different challenges that may arise, especially those that come with raising a young girl. Without speaking to her, I could understand the embarrassment she may feel towards me seeing personal undergarments, but this does not bother me. Nor does the idea of buying sanitary items for her monthly cycle bother me.”
“Oh, the poor girl.” Maxine held a hand to her chest. “I didn’t think to ask her about that.”
“Do not beat yourself up over it, my dear. I planned for the future and have the items she will need in one of the bathroom drawers. From the horrified expression she gave me when I told her about it, I assume it is safe to say she hasn’t started.”
Wiping her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks.
“I shouldn’t be the one crying. Joanna is the one that has to grow up without a mother and it doesn’t… it isn’t fair. Pop, it isn’t fair, and it is cruel.”
As he first caught sight of her tears, Mac moved to hug her.
“She’s strong, Max. I felt it the first time I held her and I still feel it now.” He whispered into her head that rested below his chin. “Joanna is also very fortunate to have you. I know you don’t intend to replace her mother, but she needs a female influence, especially on this ranch. There are things I cannot help her with, and I know you will be ready when the time is right.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.” He pulled her out at arm’s length, cupping her elbows, and giving her a warm smile. “Don’t doubt yourself. Trust your gut and allow instincts to guide you.”
Joanna found herself lost in the pages of the book she read, so much so, that she hadn’t heard her grandfather knocking until he raised his voice.
“Oui!” her head snapped up.
Mac chuckled at the startled expression on her face, catching sight of a horse on the page of her open book.
“Good book?” He asked, leaning against the frame of her open door.
“Yes, thank you. I’m enjoying it so far.”
“What book is it? I remember putting a few books on your bookshelf, hoping something would catch your eye.”
“‘ Simple connection-the art of horsemanship’ . It talks about the importance of building a relationship before you get into the saddle.” She said, emphasizing the word as she said it.
He gave an understanding nod and knew he wanted to learn more about this granddaughter of his.
“I am glad you are enjoying it. Do you often read?” She saw he was trying to engage in friendly conversation and sat up from her slumped position at the top of her bed.
“When I’m not riding horses or taking etiquette classes or being tutored, I enjoy reading.” She admitted with a small shrug. “Did you want to sit?”
“No, thank you. I have to get back to making dinner, but I wanted to check in on you. You had another big day today and your aunt Maxine said you had gone quiet.”
For a moment, the two had a staredown. There was no anger in the stares. Maybe mild annoyance could be seen in Joanna’s eyes? But only because she was wondering how many times she could be asked if she was okay before she snapped. Her grandfather seemed like a nice guy, and so did her aunt. They were just very caring and observant people.
“Would you be happy to eat steak with roasted vegetables?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as his expression changed.
“Steak sounds good.”
“I haven’t prepared a large piece as I understand you may not have much of an appetite." He said, watching her nervously chew her bottom lip.
Joanna opened her mouth to stammer, but a knock on the door made her stop. She stayed put, craning her neck to listen as her grandfather greeted someone at the door. Moments later there were approaching footsteps.
"You have a visitor," Mac informed her.
There towering behind her grandfather was an Ely boy, but which one? And why was he here?
An awkward chuckle made her realize that a scowl had appeared on her face as she thought.
"Oh goodness. I'm so sorry." Joanna rushed to apologize, feeling terrible for what she had done.
"Relax, you can explain the face later." The Ely boy said, waving his hand to dismiss her now worried expression. "I'm here to give you the grand tour of the place."
Uneasiness started gnawing inside her. Shopping had been enough excitement for her today, except how nerve-racking could a little walk around a ranch be? Joanna tried to remember the name of the teenager in front of her. It was something beginning with S, maybe Simon? Stuart? No, that wasn't right. Whatever his name was, he seemed like a nice guy. Tall like a redwood tree, with bronzed skin, defined facial features, and long black hair that he had pulled back into a braid that fell down his back. He wore an old green shirt with worn jeans and dusty cowboy boots. On his face perched a circular pair of silver-framed glasses
"I'm sorry, which cousin are you?" She asked suddenly.
"Seth, and again, don't worry. There's a lot of us and even mom struggles to keep track sometimes." Seth replied, not looking the least bit fazed.
"Dinner will be ready by 6:30, which will give Seth just under an hour to show you around," Mac said gently, trying to coax her out of the cabin and explore. It would also be good for her to know Seth better.
"I guess…" She hesitated briefly, looking at Seth and then at her grandfather. Breathing in so deeply her shoulders rose with the breath, she said, "It couldn't hurt to go out for a bit, I guess."
Seth gave her a happy smile.
"Come on." He gestured for her to follow with a wave of his hand, "Don't forget your hat!" He called out, disappearing down the hallway.
Not wanting to leave, but wanting to ease her curiosity. Joanna crawled off her bed and grabbed her hat.
"Why do I need my hat?" She asked, pulling on the second-hand boots her aunt had bought her earlier that day. "I didn't take it with me when I went to Darton."
"You were in an air-conditioned car that took you to an air-conditioned mall. Even locals can't handle the bare heat of the sun on their skin. Sooo…" Seth paused as he reached for a brown Stetson on the hook, placing it firmly on her head, "It is recommended that you always wear a hat outdoors, plus it's the way of the west." He threw her a wink.
Shaking her head in response she followed him out the door.
"Don't be late for dinner!" Mac called out after his grandson and granddaughter.
Walking in the direction of the main house, Joanna heard a single bark.
Barreling towards them was an overly excited German Shepherd. Tongue lolling to the side as the dog ran before stopping abruptly at Seth's feet when he held up a hand.
"Jo, meet Chase. He's been our faithful ranch dog for the past eight years." He said.
"Hi, Chase," Joanna said, talking in a high-pitched voice as she crouched down to scratch behind the dog's ears.
Within moments the dog was laying down, belly in the air as he asked for tummy rubs.
"Whatever happened to being a badass?" Seth asked and Joanna quickly realized he was talking to the dog that was acting like a goofball, "You're supposed to be a growling guard dog, not a lap dog."
"Oh, don't you listen to the meanie cowboy. I think you are perfect." She crooned, smiling as the dog's back leg started kicking when she hit a good spot. "You're the bestest boy."
"What're you? A dog whisperer?" He scoffed.
"No." Joanna shook her head, "Like most animals, dogs just seem to like me." She shrugged, continuing to give the dog some well-deserved attention.
"Probably 'cause you give off a peaceful aurora."
"What?" She laughed at the comment.
Chase whined when she stopped patting him, so she kept going.
"Animals are very spiritual beings and pick up on the slightest change in the atmosphere, including emotions. Dogs know a good person when they see one."
She gave him a warm smile at the compliment.
"Shall we continue on the tour? Or would you like to stay with the dog?"
"Let's go." She replied with a blush, brushing the dirt off her jeans.
Seth stopped in front of a big barn and pulled open one of the huge wooden doors. Sun slowly crept into the space, revealing different vehicles. There were a couple of tractors, a truck with the bonnet open, and… a fire truck.
Chills ran down her spine as if an icy breath had blown on her neck. Swallowing thickly as the color drained from her face. Distant cries echoed in her mind, flashes of flames and yellow turnover coats, the helpless cries that had come from her lips as she pulled to escape from the strong arms that held her tight.
"Here is where dad keeps most of his farming equipment and his truck, along with cars that need fixin'," Seth explained.
"Why do you have a firetruck?" Joanna asked, cringing at how nervous she sounded.
"Did dad not tell you he was a firefighter?" Seth replied, getting a shake from her.
"No. Except why would uncle Luke have a firetruck in his barn. Don't you have a fire station?"
"Out in these parts, we are the fire station. Your uncle Luke and the team are trained to be paramedics too, cause the nearest hospital is a 2-hour drive from here. He's also chief of the volunteer department, so he makes most of the calls around here." Seth explained, watching the young girl's face change with emotion. There was a mix of fear and terror that flashed in her eyes.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
Like a switch that had been flipped. Joanna turned to him with a wide smile and relaxed her shoulders.
"I'm more than alright. How long has uncle Luke been a firefighter?" She asked in a too-chipper voice.
"He's been doin' it for as long as I can remember. Except he's been chief for the past 8 years."
"That's pretty cool. What else is there? Are there more horses?" She asked one question after another, making Seth laugh.
"Let's go." He said, cocking his head in the direction of the ranch yard.
Anytime they came near a fence, Joanna extended a hand, smooching as she tried to catch the attention of any close horse. Seth watched in fascination because no one ever baby-talked to the horses on the ranch, except for their neighbor, Samantha Forster, she constantly did it. Maybe it was just a girl thing? A melodious neigh stopped his thinking.
"Aren't you beautiful?" Joanna crooned as a palomino horse trotted gracefully towards the fence. The horse's golden mane flowed in the wind, tail hanging high in the air like a flag and the horse's head bobbed with interest. "What is his name?"
"Her name is Chicka and she is mom's horse," Seth replied.
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Chicka. My name is Joanna and I am quite sure you and I can be friends. What do you say?" She said, talking to the inquisitive mare. Reaching out to stroke her face, Joanna studied the stripe on the mare’s face before looking at the intelligence showing behind long lashes. Chicka was a truly beautiful horse and Joanna guessed she had Arab in her.
Looking at Seth, she kept asking questions.
"First, what breed is Chicka, and second. How often does aunt Maxine ride?"
"You like asking questions don't you?"
"Only if it involves horses."
"Good to know." He replied, chuckling. "She's a Quarab. Quarterhorse…"
"... crossed with an Arabian." She finished for him, giving a slow nod. Looking back at the mare, she could see it in the mare's confirmation.
"Mom doesn't ride all that often, but she was gifted the horse as an anniversary present. She'll occasionally go out ridin' with dad and can help with basic ranch work if we need an extra set of hands. I mean, she is a rancher's wife after all." He said, humorously.
"Speaking of riding…" Seth pushed off from the fence, turning to lean against it, "We should get you riding. It'll be different from your fancy arenas and organized riding style, but it'll be fun."
"I know how to have fun!” She said indignantly, puffing her chest as she crossed her arms.
“Oh, I can imagine. But seriously, what are you doing tomorrow?”
“Who knows?” Joanna shrugged helplessly, “I’ve only been here a day.”
“Awesome, then we’ll go out riding tomorrow. I’ll ask mom if you can ride Chicka.”
“What if I say no?”
“Huh?”
“You never asked me if I wanted to go out riding.”
Losing composure for a moment, Seth closed his parted mouth and apologized.
“My sincerest apologies ma’am.” He remarked sarcastically, “Would you like to join me on a ride tomorrow?”
“I’ll see how I am tomorrow. But a morning ride sounds good.”
Seth had to do a double-take as the young girl matched his sarcastic tone.
“I’m sorry.” She said, biting her lip as she tried to maintain eye contact.
“Woah, why are you sorry?”
“I was rude to you and my mother raised me better, or more; my grandmother had.”
“My brothers say a lot worse on a daily basis. Trust me when I say, you’re cool.” He placed a hand on her shoulder, “Let’s get you back to grandfather.”
Once they had gotten to the porch, Joanna turned to Seth.
“Thanks for showing me around.” She said,
“Course, this is your home now. You need to know your way around here.” He replied, giving her a closed smile.
The young girl managed to force a small smile, feeling an ache at his words. This was her home.
Chapter 7: “Fresh air will do you a world of good..."
Chapter Text
A frightened scream had MacArthur awake and alert in seconds.
“What on earth?” He breathed into the darkness.
Feeling disorientated, he tried to gather himself and realized the screaming was coming from another room.
Joanna.
Getting up quickly, he reached for the light switch in his room before stepping into the hallway.
More frightening cries came from her room and he knew it would be no use knocking on her door. Still, Mac knocked as he entered.
“Daddy, please!” Joanna cried out in her sleep. “Help! HELP!”
Mac felt his heartbreak more than it had yesterday when he saw her crying. This was a child that had her innocence taken away and now she was dealing with trauma she never asked for or deserved. Thrashing as she tossed and turned, Mac did his best to talk to her.
“Joanna, you need to wake up.” He said, gently shaking her.
Each time he tried to wake her, his voice got louder and louder. It was no use though, and he got worried as she looked more distressed the longer she stayed in that nightmare.
Grabbing both her shoulders, Mac gave her a single firm shake yelling, “WAKE UP! WAKE UP, JOANNA!”
Hazel eyes flew wide open with a painful gasp as she sat bolt upright. Not knowing where she was or how she got here. All Joanna knew was that her world was no longer burning.
Sitting on the edge of her bed, Mac kept talking to her in a soft voice. He didn’t like how he raised his voice the way that he had and honestly could not remember the last time he had even raised his voice like that. MacArthur always tried to present himself as a quiet and peaceful man. A peacemaker, not a hostile human.
"Shh…" He hushed her, noticing her shallow breathing wasn't getting better, and eventually, he placed both hands on her shoulders.
"Breathe, Joanna. You need to breathe. In and out." Mac instructed her.
Nothing Joanna said was making any sense. Muttering and mumbling between short pants. She took one look at her grandfather’s face and let out a choked sob, before crying.
"Let it out, my dear. You're safe." He comforted her, pulling Joanna into his arms. Finding her breathing had changed to another type of breathless as she cried.
Joanna curled tightly into her grandfather’s embrace, craving the comfort of being held. As tears fell down her face, she listened to her grandfather’s voice. Placing her head closer to his chest, she could hear his heartbeat and her breathing become deeper as she followed the sound. Her grandfather was no more than a stranger, except why did she have so much trust in him? She never cried like this in front of strangers, she never cried like this ever. Right now, she felt truly terrified. Wanting nothing more than to be in her mother’s arms while she softly sang to her. As Joanna heard singing, her brow furrowed in confusion. Listening closer, it was her grandfather singing in a soothing voice but she couldn’t understand what he was saying. Was he even singing in English?
“Have you been suffering from nightmares since the accident?” Mac asked after hearing her loud sigh.
“No,” Joanna replied, shocked at how raspy her voice sounded, “This is the first one I’ve had and I’ve never had a nightmare this bad before.”
“Would you like to talk about it?”
She shook her head, “I’m not able to talk about it.”
“You may find talking about it could help.” He tried coaxing her gently.
“I know you mean well, but it won’t. Back in Lexington, I was able to kid myself the accident was just a nightmare, and one day everything would go back to the way it once was.” Tears spilled from her eyes as she closed them, “Within twenty-four hours, I am facing the reality of what I lost. My parents are dead, my grandparents have abandoned me, all my friends are gone and worse still, so are my horses. I arrived here my entire life got compressed into a suitcase.”
Not knowing how to let her know, she was not alone. Mac squeezed her tighter, allowing her to cry freely. This was vital for her healing process if she was to ever recover from something as traumatic as this. While more broken sobs came from the young girl, he gave her comfort and sang Shoshoni lullabies his mother had sung over him when he was young.
Slowly her breathing slowed as she became a heavyweight in his arms. Mac knew the young had fallen asleep and he hoped she would stay sleeping peacefully. Edging away carefully, he peeled himself away from Joanna, but he stayed sitting on the edge of her bed to make sure she was well asleep. Feeling satisfied that she was, he managed to pull a blanket over her and left her be.
“She’s far too young to be dealing with this.” He muttered once in the hallway after closing her door. Getting back into his bed, he decided to keep his door open enough that if she had another nightmare, he’d hear her quicker.
Waking up the next morning had been hard. Joanna felt like she had been hit by a bus.
Her head hurt, her eyes ached from crying, her throat felt scratchy each time she swallowed and her body felt lethargic. Sadly a shower did nothing, but make her feel clean. Padding into the kitchen, her grandfather greeted her with his usual smile.
“Good morning, Joanna.”
“Morning.” She replied, sitting down heavily in a chair.
Mac moved around the kitchen, making tea before placing a steaming mug in front of her.
“A close friend made me this blend of tea. It has a combination of calming herbs and when you add honey, it becomes a soothing tea for a sore throat.” He spoke softly, watching her duck her head.
“Thanks.” She said quietly.
“Of course. This is my role in your life, to care for you.” He said, before sitting up straighter in his seat, “Will you be going out riding with Seth?” Mac inquired.
“No. Last night was a lot and I can’t pretend nothing happened because you just made me a special tea and you are looking at me like I am going to fall apart. Except Seth doesn’t know, but he will know and I am not ready for that.”
“I think you should. It will do you good to get out of the cabin and get some fresh air.”
“It is too soon and you can’t make me.” Her tone was becoming more and more defensive.
He leaned back in his chair at the sudden change of attitude.
“And I believe it will do you some good. I told your aunt Max not to push you and to give you time to adjust.”
“Then give me time.” She said.
“Fresh air will do you a world of good and it will help ease your mind.”
Joanna turned her head to look out the cabin window, watching the horses graze in the pasture close by, “I can’t…”
“You can’t what, Joanna?” He asked, hearing her softer tone and knowing she had snapped for a reason.
“Other people would say it wasn’t that long, but I haven’t ridden a horse in almost a month. That’s a long time for me, especially when I’ve been surrounded by them this entire time.”
“I understand.” He gave a slow sympathetic nod, “When I lost my wife, Enola, I had been greatly saddened with sorrow. I had withdrawn from everything and everyone, wondering how I was going to live without her by my side. One day as I sat in mourning, clear as daylight, I heard her voice. She said, “Mac, what are you doing?! You are wasting the life we had built together” . Enola had been a gentle soul but took every opportunity with both hands. Her words meant that I had to stop wallowing and live my life. This did not mean I was to live my life pretending she never existed, nor did it mean that I was to shut off my emotions. I was to live a life to make her proud, something to make her smile as she looked down from the heavens.”
“What does that mean?" She asked "I’m also sorry about your wife.”
“That is life, my dear.” He reached out to pat her hand with a tender smile on his face, “When the creator gives, she will also take. We don’t know when this happens and we cannot choose who we get to lose, but we are allowed to rise. As a parent, I cannot imagine your mother and father wishing you a life of misery, especially one without horses. Go riding with Seth and if you can’t handle it, then you don’t have to. But something tells me you just have to get back into the saddle.”
“I don’t know how to ride western.” She said smartly.
“Stop making excuses.”
A shocked expression appeared on the young girl's face as she tried to think of a rebuttal. Mac raised a single eyebrow and watched her expression soften as she backed down. He wondered if she had been disciplined and to what extent?
“Thank you for the tea.” She said, getting up from her seat.
“Ah, you can take your cup to the sink. I am not your maid.” Again, he was met with the same shell-shocked expression, “Also, an apology would be nice. I will not stand for being spoken to the way you just had, I’m your grandfather and I ask you to treat me with respect.”
“Sorry, grandfather.” She apologized, looking him in the eye.
There was no anger in the elder’s eyes, but there was an authoritative look that made Joanna know she had done something wrong.
Seth arrived shortly after they were done with breakfast and when Joanna gave her grandfather a nervous side glance, he smiled with a small nod, assuring her that she would be alright.
“... Okay, seeing as we are putting you on mom’s horse, Chicka. It makes sense for you to borrow her tack, and don’t worry, we’re just going for a simple ride.” Seth said as Joanna followed beside him.
“Famous last words.” She muttered.
“Yeah, well I’m sure you’d know how to control a loco horse.” Seth chuckled.
“What makes you think that?”
“Dad told me you did dressage and show jumping back in Lexington.”
“Yes, I sure did.”
“And that’s why I’m sure you’ll be fine. Hold this.”
Joanna’s knees almost buckled as a very heavy saddle was placed in her arms. Her cousin laughed at her while gathering his own tack before they went out to tack their horses.
“For someone that doesn’t know how to ride western, you know how to put on the tack right,” Seth observed, carefully inspecting Chicka in the cross-ties.
The palomino mare stood ever so quietly in one spot, waiting patiently while the humans fussed over her.
“We’re gonna leave soon,” Seth assured her by patting her neck when she gave a snort. A stamping hoof made him look to one side, “That means you too.” He added to his own horse
“Someone’s impatient,” Joanna commented with a smirk.
“Neptune’s always impatient. Trust me to fall in love with a horse that’s got an explosive personality.” He muttered, shaking his head.
"Neptune? as in 'god of the sea'?"
Seth smiled, "Yeah, he goes crazy over water and it's almost impossible to get him out of it once he's in. Neptune will even splash around in the troughs."
"He certainly sounds like a horse with a fun personality." Joanna said, giving the flea-bitten gray an affectionate pat.
After helping Joanna mount up, Seth ran her through instructions on how to sit in a western saddle. Of course, her posture was perfect but he couldn’t help and laugh as she picked up the reins with both hands.
“We don’t do that here.” He smiled at her confused expression, “You grab your reins in one hand and let the other sit on your thigh or freely by your side.”
“How do I direct the horse with one hand? I would have to over-extend my arm in the direction I wanted to turn.”
“Exactly.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, and we don’t trot often. In western riding we jog and let our body absorb the movement, so it’s less bouncy.” He gave a knowing smile before mounting his own horse.
“I vaguely recall reading about western riding and I admit I didn’t bother learning because I didn’t think I would need to know. My mother rode in an English saddle and so did my father. Our other options were racing saddles or jumping saddles, not western.” She said before her face fell flat
“You okay?” He reached out to hold her elbow, his brow creasing in concern.
Feeling embarrassed, Joanna gave a small nod, willing the tears that threatened to spill not to, “This is the first time I have been on a horse since…” She found it hard to finish her sentence, but she carried on, “... since I lost my parents. Grandfather made me go with you today after I told him no, he said it would be good for me, except I’m finding it…”
“Sorry, I don’t want to burden you with this,” Joanna said, dismissing what she had said.
“No, please do and you’re not burdening me. I want to be here for you.”
“You don’t know me.”
“But I want to.” He tried to make a compelling argument watching her give a heaving sigh.
“It’s hard because being in this saddle reminds me that I may never jump again or I may never float around a dressage arena or compete in a show. It’s a reminder that things cannot go back to the way they were.”
“For someone that’s been through a lot, you are doing good. I’ve heard of people that spend their lives living in denial and can’t move forward after a traumatic event.”
“Because it wasn’t just a traumatic event. I lost my parents and everything that came with it!” She snapped suddenly, causing Chicka to halt abruptly, “Sorry, girl.” She apologized, patting the horse’s neck.
“Can we please stop talking about this? I’ve already cried more times than I would care to admit since being here and I would rather not cry again.”
Seth gave her an understanding nod, before a slow smile formed on his face.
“Would you feel confident enough to lope? It’s your version of a canter.” He asked in a coaxing voice.
“Are you trying to distract me?” She eyed him suspiciously.
“Yes, I am.”
Giving a defeated sigh she said, “Fine, lead the way.”
Not needing to be told twice he urged his mount into a fast-paced lope and Joanna followed suit on Chicka. Two sets of hooves pounded across the desert floor, sweeping past sagebrush as the wind whipped through her hair.
By the time Seth and Joanna rode back into the ranch yard, she had a mile-wide smile on her face, grinning ear to ear.
“That was amazing, thank you.” She gushed, looking over at her cousin.
“It was my pleasure, little lady.” He drawled, making her laugh, “Remember, we only use one hand to hold the reins.”
“This will take some time to get used to this.”
“Have I managed to convince you to keep riding?” He asked shocked.
“No.” She gave him an incredulous look, “Chicka has. She’s the definition of a country girl.”
“Well, I’m glad. And I’m sure you’ll be able to borrow Chicka until you get your own horse.”
After dismounting, she looked over at Seth.
“My own horse?” Joanna questioned.
“Yeah, that’s the plan. We just don’t know what horse, or dad doesn’t know what horse. He’s been talkin’ to grandfather about it.” Seth stopped talking when he saw her face, she did not look pleased.
They changed the subject by talking about everyday ranch life while they untacked their horses, groomed them, and then turned them out in the pasture. When the young Ely had walked into the house, instantly he’d been hounded by one of his many brothers asking questions about Joanna. He had admitted that he may have shared something that should have been kept secret…
Meanwhile…
Joanna had gone off in search of her grandfather.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were trying to get me a horse? Is that why you were pushing me so much to go out riding and the whole sad story was just a cover-up?” She confronted him with exasperation.
“Joanna, we talked about this,” Mac warned her.
“Talked about what?” She responded, still giving him attitude.
“Respecting me and not using that tone, because it will not get you far and it is not helping your case.”
“Lying doesn’t help it either,” she remarked crossing her arms.
Mac almost found himself lost for words. Joanna was proving to be a challenge, but nothing he couldn’t handle and he knew he would have to lay some hard ground rules. Most likely making him an unfavored man, except he would do it if it meant she would start showing manners. What was happening to the shy, respectable young lady that arrived 3 days ago?
“I have not lied to you…”
“You haven’t told me the full story though.” She interrupted him.
“Joanna.” His voice held a scolding tone and he fixed her with a stern look, “I will acknowledge your anger. What I won’t accept is this level of disrespect.” Mac kept a level gaze on her, making her feel smaller by the second.
“I suggested to your uncle Luke that getting you a horse would be good. You are trying to build a new life here and having a horse will do you a world of good. Having a horse is a big responsibility and you have learned we don’t have stable hands around here, everything is broken down into shared chores or ranch work is the more appropriate term. Getting your own horse would mean having your own tack and it would be up to you to clean and maintain it. You would be responsible for feeding your horse and cleaning out its stall whenever he or she, is in the barn. It would be upon you to exercise and brush your horse. I don’t know how things worked back in Lexington, but this is how we do things here.”
His words hurt like a hard slap to the face. So much for being a kind, gentle soul.
Things didn’t improve when she went to walk away.
“Did you ask to be excused, Joanna? I wasn’t done talking.”
With her back to him, he could sense the face she was pulling.
“May I please be excused, grandfather?” She asked in a sickly sweet voice.
“You may.”
Once her door closed, Mac let out a loud, shoulder-dropping sigh, running a hand over his head. He allowed some time to pass and even went off to get some air for a while, coming back to the cabin around early afternoon to prepare lunch.
After pondering through the kitchen cupboards, he decided a grilled cheese sandwich with crackers would be a nice light lunch. Although Joanna said she ate almost anything, Mac noticed her small appetite and was trying to figure out whether she was trying to adjust or she simply didn't eat much. While the cheesy toast sizzled in the pan, he chuckled to himself. Nothing could have ever prepared him to take in Joanna. Despite his best efforts, it seemed like she was growing up with the potential to be a sassy teenager with a serious attitude. Once plating up lunch, Mac went and knocked on Joanna’s door.
“I’m sorry.” The young girl said as she opened the door.
“Thank you.” He replied with a curt bow of his head, “I don’t know how hungry you are, but I have prepared grilled cheese sandwiches and I thought it would be nice to eat them on the porch.”
She looked up at him with a downcast expression.
"Why aren't you mad? Should you not be telling me off or staying mad?" She asked in a quiet voice, looking up at him through her long lashes.
"I am not mad, child," Mac said firmly. "Disappointed may be the right word."
That seemed to hurt her more than if he had been angry. Joanna remembered a time when her grandmother had said the same thing to her after she caught the young girl covered head to toe in mud. She remembered being bored out of her mind at an event and Charlie, along with a few other kids, had decided to race each other on the very wet race track. It had been pouring with rain most of the week and the weather had cleared up just in time for the party, but it left the track very muddy. Joanna had had the time of her life, running till her lungs burned, getting covered head to toe in mud, and just having fun. A horrified gasp made her stop dead in her tracks, her mother had tried to be upset, but her eyes danced with amusement. Her grandma Charlotte on the other hand… the woman had marched down to where she stood, sweeping a hand up and down before the older woman shook her head and told Joanna she should know better and how she was disappointed in the young girl.
"Joanna?" Mac asked when she didn't respond. He watched her face drop and a look of regret washed over her.
Maybe that wasn't the best thing to say? Except he would not stand for disrespect and he was not about to make an exception.
"Let's go eat before the food gets cold." He reached out to place a hand on her back, walking her towards the kitchen.
Silence filled the air as they ate, or more than her grandfather did. Joanna was lightly nibbling on the toasted sandwich. A small smile started to creep across her lips as she looked out towards the range, this morning she had raced across the desert and for a moment had forgotten about the things that troubled her soul.
Joanna gave a loud sigh, making her grandfather tilt his gaze toward her.
“Riding Chicka today made me realize just how much I miss my horse.” She admitted, “And then when I think about her, I think about my parents… I can’t keep crying.” Joanna frantically wiped her eyes with her hands.
“Before you keep giving me that look.” Joanna said, watching her grandfather's sympathetic expression, “Belle is alive and well. Before I left I asked my friend Charlie to take her as I know he’ll look after her. My caseworker never gave me the option to try to transport her over to Nevada, I also didn’t have the space to take my clothes and riding gear for Belle, so she is living well in Lexington.”
“We can try to bring Belle here?” Mac offered,
The young girl shook her head, “Mademoiselle Bella Dream wouldn’t survive a day out in this heat. I didn’t know how pampered she was until I saw the horses here. Although I have only been on one ride, I can say riding out here is very different from back home.”
“How so?” Mac grew curious.
“You don’t have an outdoor or an indoor arena and the only jumps I could find were a fallen tree and some big boulders.”
“Now I am very intrigued. Could you tell me more about riding in Lexington?”
“What would you like to know?”
“Tell me everything.” He replied, watching her facelift with a smile.
Mac listened with great interest as Joanna regaled tales of her past riding days. Her world sounded surreal compared to the life he lived here. Raised surrounded by horses worth thousands of dollars on acres of rolling hills and green grass, it was no wonder the young girl was so shocked at how things were here. Making public appearances at horse races, competing in dressage and showjumping competitions. Being wealthy meant she wore expensive riding clothes and even her horses had custom saddles. The Hanshaw name held a high social status and that came with the expectation of making appearances at social events like gala's, country club tea parties, and house parties; these also included her parents and grandparents hosting parties. Joanna spent her life being conditioned to the life she was living. Constantly learning, training, and being tutored. Mac couldn't help but wonder if the young girl had been given the chance to be a kid? She had told him about how she and Charlie had ridden for fun, except what fun did she have out of the saddle? Were horses her only escape from the reality of high expectations?.
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Naturegirl_70 on Chapter 1 Tue 31 Dec 2024 03:14AM UTC
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