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From the moment Tony’s beautiful soul guide Buddy burst into the world, he was a whirlwind of uncontrollable energy.
Constantly in motion and brimming with curiosity, the golden retriever would run and jump and dig and leap like there was no tomorrow, and Tony adored every moment of the puppy’s contagious excitement. His days that had once seemed so empty and stagnant became filled with life at the sound of Buddy’s speedy paw steps or his pleased little barks, and he revelled in the puppy’s affection like the warmth of sunlight. Some days, Tony would shut his eyes and thank whatever universal force was listening that they had gifted him a dog of all creatures. Something that he could hold in his tight embrace and feel the warmth of their body against his own; the thunder of their heartbeat against his chest like an anchor grounding him to reality.
Tony loved Buddy like he had never loved anyone else before, and the cracks in his soul that had once felt like chasms were instead filled with his companion’s constant presence. The reminder that out there, somewhere, was a soulmate waiting just for him…
But as the years passed by and the novelty shifted into the familiar, it was easy to forget that soul guides weren’t just there to comfort one side of the bond, but be a gateway into both. That it was just as much Tony’s job to be there for Buddy -and subsequently, his soulmate- as it was for Buddy to be there for him.
A fact that Tony was quickly reminded of when he was jolted out of his sleep one night by a sudden kick to the stomach, letting out an unceremonious yelp at the shadowed figure thrashing erratically beside him before another slew of hits proceeded to knock the wind out of his chest. Confusion was the first thing to register in Tony’s half-conscious mind, followed swiftly by panic when he realised he might be under attack, or at the very least in some form of danger.
But that thought was quickly dispelled however when he picked up on the weak sounds beneath the thrashing of blankets and sheets, muffled and broken and dripping with sorrow. A sound that unfortunately felt all too familiar to Tony as his mind put everything together.
“Hey, hey, shh…” he soothed, voice gruff with sleep as he reached out a hand towards the still kicking, jolting figure and felt fur brush against his fingertips.
His touch seemed to be one step too far however as the figure he now recognised as his soul guide jumped up to his feet with a terrified yelp, staggering for a moment on the blankets tangled around his legs and trying his best to gather his bearings. The retriever’s breathing was rapid and as shaky as his balance, nearly careening off the side of the bed if not for Tony lunging forward to pull him back into his side.
“Hey, Buddy shh, it’s okay,” Tony began softly when the dog scrambled again in shock, obviously scared out of his mind if the whimpers echoing into the air were any indication. “It’s just me- it’s Tony. You’re safe, you’re safe…”
And lifting his hand to cradle the guide’s face with a gentle, reassuring touch, Tony met those familiar dark eyes and watched the recognition flicker across them like lightning. A ray of sunlight cutting through storm clouds.
“There you are,” Tony smiled, scratching his fingers behind the young canine’s ears like he usually loved so much. “You scared me for a second there, but we’re okay now, alright? We’re okay.”
Whether it was the familiar touch or his soft voice, the tension slowly unravelled from Buddy’s muscles as he leant into his companion’s palm, desperately in search of comfort. The whimpers however hadn’t quite left his chest yet, and Tony could feel damp fur beneath his skin as he brought his hand back up to Buddy’s cheek.
“Oh bud…” Tony sighed, an ache radiating out from his very soul as he gathered the trembling dog into his arms. He was getting older now, six years having passed by in the blink of an eye, but that never stopped Tony from embracing him as if he were still that bright eyed puppy that had barged into his life all that time ago.
And burrowing into his companion’s embrace without a moment’s hesitation, it seemed Buddy didn’t mind either as he pressed his muzzle into Tony’s neck and melted into his hold.
“My poor boy,” Tony cooed as he ran a hand down the dog’s pelt in soothing strokes. “You still having those nightmares huh? That can be pretty annoying, but… I’ve got you, alright? You don’t have to be afraid…”
A trembling exhale was his only reply, and the defeated sound only amplified the pain rippling across Tony’s ribcage.
So with steady, gentle hands, Tony brushed away the tear tracks that stained the retriever’s golden muzzle, calming his dear friend ever so slightly and murmuring soft encouragements in the air to battle out the previous whimpers. Carefully, Tony settled back onto his side with Buddy tucked safely into his embrace, pulling the blanket over them both to rid the winter chill. Buddy’s heartbeat raced with residing panic against Tony’s own steady rhythm, but with each lulling scratch behind the ears and stroke of his back, it finally began to slow, much like the dog’s now even breathing.
“You’re safe… You’re safe now,” Tony hummed, pressing a kiss to the crown of Buddy’s head before smoothing the fur back with his hand once more. “Nothing’s gonna hurt you Buddy, cause I’ve got you… always…”
And even though Tony knew the dog couldn’t answer, the short rumble that echoed in Buddy’s chest just before he pushed further into his companion’s embrace seemed like confirmation enough. A show of trust, and hopefully a sign of peace for his weary soulmate too.
Thoughts drifting to the person behind his dear companion, Tony hoped that they could feel his reassurances. His strength. His overwhelming love for them, even if it was only through the dog that represented them. He hoped they knew they were safe from whatever nightmares or shadows had invaded their mind that night, and that they could turn to Tony wherever and whenever they needed.
Buddy had filled the void in Tony’s heart and eased the wounds of his past into mere scars; he’d saved him in more ways than Tony could count. Now it was time to return the favour, which was a responsibility the man took on proudly.
So coiling his arms a little tighter around his friend, Tony closed his eyes to the sound of Buddy’s steady heartbeat and deep exhales as they both grew heavy with slumber. I love you, he thought without prompting, startling himself for a moment with such a blunt statement. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d said anything even close to those words aloud, and memories that he’d rather forget -of his mother’s kind smile and of Jarvis’ warm embrace- began to simmer to the surface.
But before those bittersweet emotions could follow, Buddy nudged Tony’s fingers again with his nose, whining almost pitifully in what Tony realised was a plea to keep scratching his ear. The realisation drew a chuckle out of the man as he resumed the comforting motions, feeling something warm and light bloom in his chest that chased away the shadows creeping into his mind. Even now Buddy was still saving him, just like the loyal guide he’d always been.
So even though Tony couldn’t bring himself to say it aloud just yet, he hoped that his actions, that his presence, that the love that poured out of his very soul any moment that Buddy was in sight would say it for him.
I love you so much, he thought one last time before slipping back into the darkness, wondering if he would ever be lucky enough someday to hear his soulmate’s reply.
And across the city in a quiet Queens neighbourhood, a little boy began to drift to sleep with a cat of thick silver fur and sharp blue eyes coiled around his shoulders, swiping away the tears that clung to the boy’s cheeks with the curve of his tail. Warmth wrapped around the child’s entire body like a heated blanket, and tucking his face into the crook of his companion’s fluffy neck with a smile, the boy fell into a peaceful rest with only one thought on his mind.
I love you too…