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The soulmate system. No one knows how or why it was established but it was a system that dated back millennia. The majority of the population is born with the soulmate mutation gene. One that causes the color receptors in your eyes to not activate until you meet eye contact with a specific person, aka your soulmate. For the longest time society has established itself in the system. As time progressed the idea of soulmates started getting more researched and the different types of bonds between soulmates were studied. With many longing for the day they meet their soulmates and get their colors. To some it was the biggest milestone, however, some did think it was overrated.
Jihoon, himself, thinks the idea of soulmates is nice. The idea that somewhere out there, there's someone made just for you. However, it wasn't his life goal to meet his soulmate, not like many others in his age group. It would be nice to meet his soulmate, but it wasn't his priority. To him, it was just something one goes through in life and he'll face it when he has to face it. For now, he wanted to focus on himself and his career.
That was his thought process until he crashed into his soulmate, well more like his soulmate crashed into him.
It was his first day at university. He was excited, he had dreamed of moving to Seoul to pursue his goals of a music producer and he had made it. The first day was exciting though he would know he would slowly start to dread going to classes the longer the semester started, that's just how school is.
He was trying to find his way back to his apartment after exploring the campus to get familiar with it. Jihoon had a pretty horrible sense of direction. And he really didn't want to be seen as stupid by others just because he couldn't find his way around campus. At times like this, he wished he had some of his friends to help him but sadly they were back home in Busan with him. But he'd have to learn eventually.
He looked around trying to find something to help him, hoping he could spot a landmark to navigate around.
His search comes to a brief halt when he makes eye contact with a boy on a skateboard. His eyes linger because the other had hair that was bright in his vision- wait it wasn't like the usual grey tones, it was warmer, definitely brighter. He looked around and suddenly the sky was brighter as well; it wasn't a pale grey. The grass around him was different too. He couldn't describe it but it wasn't the usual dark grey no it was murkier, something was different.
It hit him.
He can see color.
So shocked at the revelation, he doesn't hear the sound of someone yelling at him to move until he realizes the boy with bright hair is coming towards him rather fast on his skateboard. The boy attempts to stop but the boy forgets that the first law of motion inertia exists; so even if the skateboard stops moving, the force continues to drive him forward, sending him flying into Jihoon. He suddenly feels his world tilting as a strong force hits his front. He closes his eyes waiting for the impact of the ground. In the fleeting moment of falling, he feels a hand snake behind his head to cushion his fall.
The hand feels warm and comforting and for some reason, Jihoon doesn't hate the contact. But it doesn't last long as they both hit the ground harshly. With groans of pain, the stranger lifts his body first so he was no longer crushing Jihoon.
“Sorry, in all fairness I was trying to warn you,” Jihoon winces and opens his eyes. He once again takes in just how fiery and burning bright the other’s hair was. He wonders what the name of the color is. He guesses it's red, at least he thinks it is based on all the descriptions he's gotten over the years.
It contrasted so much with the other dark eyes. He guesses those are a deep brown. The stranger had sharp-angled eyes, and a sharp jaw, but his round cheeks and plump pouty lips provided a neat and interesting contrast. The other was stunningly pretty and definitely attractive. His outfit was almost as bright as his hair. He was sporting a bright shirt, it was warm but not as fiery as his hair, yellow or maybe orange, Jihoon guesses. The shirt had stripes on it resembling one of a tiger.
He's too busy taking in the other and the new colors around him that he doesn't notice the other talking until his ears catch:
“Oh god, you're concussed!”
“Huh no I’m- I'm fine” he stutters out, but his head does ache, maybe a mix from the fall or maybe it's because he just got his colors. He did hear that you tended to get headaches the first few days you get your colors because of the new scenery.
“Are you sure? I can take you to the nurse's office,” The boy asked, looking very concerned. Seemingly unfazed by the new colors around them.
“No it's okay, but don't you want to talk about how weird everything looks now?” Jihoon asks surprised by how well the other was taking in colors. He's seen moments where soulmates meet. Usually, they took time to look at the world with their new colors together.
His soulmate looks at him in a mixture of confusion and concern, “Oh gosh you're hallucinating, yeah I'm taking you to the nurse office,”
Jihoon feels a sinking feeling in his stomach as he makes his second revelation on the day: his soulmate didn't get his colors the moment he made eye contact with Jihoon.
He's heard stories like this, of where soulmates meet but only one of the pair gets their colors. It was dubbed as an unrequited soulmate bond. It was rare but not impossible. Only about 0.003% of the population had it. It was a heartbreaking thought that someone was made for you, but you weren't made for them. And though Jihoon didn't think much of the soulmate system, he felt his heart crumble and crack at the thought of it.
The stranger helps him up and Jihoon numbly lets him as the sinking feeling sets in.
He met his soulmate.
But he wasn't his soulmate's soulmate.
The nurse gives him a small evaluation and concludes he isn't concussed but does tell him to just sit down and gives him an ice pack to hopefully soothe his head. She applies a few bandaids to the scrapes on the stranger’s hand as well. The ice pack does help soothe any pain he feels on his head, but he doesn't know how he's going to soothe the hurt he feels in his heart. However, he doesn't think the nurse is here to listen to his sorrow.
"I'm Soonyoung by the way, sorry I tried avoiding you but I was coming in too quickly," his soulmate says sheepishly. Soonyoung was a pretty name, it suited the other, Jihoon thought.
"It’s okay, I'm Jihoon,” He says quietly.
Soonyoung smiles, cheeks bunching high causing his already smaller eyes to turn into charming crescents and his teeth to pop out in a nice row. It's warm and welcoming, Jihoon finds it enthralling, he looks like he's about to say more when his phone rings. He quickly checks the caller's id and his eyes widen and his smile falls, “Shoot sorry, I have to go, but if we ever meet again let me treat you to coffee to really apologize for running into you!” He yells as he exits the room before Jihoon can even say anything.
Jihoon sighs, today was going great. In truth, he doesn't want to meet Soonyoung again. Not when they were unrequited soulmates. He feels that if it'll be best not to get too close to the other. Jihoon valued self-preservation above else. It was practically setting himself up to get hurt if he tried to pursue a soulmate that wasn't meant to be.
At least he had his colors. And he didn't need to be limited to a soulmate. Many people find love outside of the soulmate system. He'll be okay. Besides the campus was huge, the odds of running into Soonyoung again seemed low.
---
However, it seems that the universe thinks it's funny because the next day when he walks into his science lab he finds that he actually shares a class with Soonyoung. The other isn't hard to miss now that Jihoon could see color and could spot the bright red hair a mile away. But he decided not to freak out, it was a bigger class, he could still avoid the other.
But the universe still thinks it's a comedian because the minute class starts the professor announces that he would be assigning partners and these partners are permanent for the rest of the term, meaning no switching unless a student drops the class. He tells the class to stand up and come forward when he calls their name.
“Kwon Soonyoung,” Jihoon's soulmate naturally stands up, with a bright smile.
“Lee Jihoon,” Jihoon freezes, well there goes his plan to avoid the other.
The other seems to recognize Jihoon as he turns to meet his eyes with him. He smiles nice and brightly, like the day they met they turn into crescents that remind Jihoon of a clock. They take a seat next to each other as the professor continues to announce the partners.
“Hey looks like it's fate,” Soonyoung jokes as they place their things down.
Jihoon tries to not cringe at others' choice of words. The irony of it all.
“Yeah I guess,” he says, trying to rework his plans of avoiding heartbreak by avoiding Soonyoung as a whole. He could still avoid the other outside of this class.
He tries his best to avoid looking at the other but something just draws Jihoon to it. He's undoubtedly attractive, even from the side angle. It wasn't the conventional type of attractiveness, but there was a charm to the other that made Jihoon just continue staring.
Soonyoung catches him once and smiles, Jihoon, embarrassed he was caught, snaps out of it with his ears burning red. He turns away from the other who lets out a small laugh.
Jihoon tries to shake away his thoughts. Sure the other was pleasant to look at but Jihoon needs to get a grip.
As class drags on he realizes that Soonyoung seems to be the exact opposite of him. For one he can't sit still. He can feel Soonyoung's legs shaking under the table and he notices he's always fiddling with something. And sure Jihoon has his habits of tapping out melodies and beats that he wants to try but Soonyoung just seemed as if he was going to burst with energy in a moment.
Soonyoung was also very talkative, always whispering jokes to Jihoon during the professor's lecture about what he expects during this semester and the topics he's going to cover. He seems to already know most people in the room too as some people come up to him at the end of class. If Jihoon were to compare Soonyoung he’d be one of those old clocks, the ones that were loud and would shake and rattle consistently. Really quite the opposite of Jihoon and something Jihoon should avoid.
Jihoon tries to sneak away before the other could realize but it seems the universe still thinks it's hilarious because Soonyoung catches up to him on the way out.
“Oh, Jihoon wait up!” Jihoon tenses, internally debating if he should just keep going and pretend that he didn't hear or to just give in and see what the other wants.
He decides that the other seems to be the one to be persistent. So if he doesn't catch Jihoon now he'll try again later and Jihoon would rather get this done and over with quickly. So he stops as turns
“Yes, Soonyoung-ssi?”
Soonyoung smiles, “Just Soonyoung is fine!”
Jihoon nods signaling for the other to continue, “I was wondering if you're free for a while, I don't have another class for an hour so if you're free too I could treat you to that coffee I owe you!” He says all too cheerfully.
And Jihoon is free, his next lecture is in the next hour as well. He could take Soonyoung up on the offer, but that would go against his plans of just avoiding his soulmate all together. But then again his soulmate might just leave him alone afterward so hesitantly he nods, “Uh sure why not,” He says hoping that his smile wasn't too awkward.
The other smiles again and the two head to the cafe that was on campus. It's small and cozy, there are a few students already taking advantage of the free wifi, sitting in groups at booths or at tables.
“Have you decided on your major already?” Soonyoung brings up as they wait in line.
“Yeah, music production,”
“Oh so you want to make music?” he asks curiously with no hint of judgment, Jihoon nods, “That sounds really cool,” he says voice dripping with genuine interest.
“I'm a dance major, I want to make my own choreography!” Soonyoung says proudly, “Hey if you have any songs made, maybe I can make dances to go with it!”
Jihoon flushes because of course, the system would pair him with a dancer. A dancer and a producer, what a pair that would be. He’d make the melody and Soonyoung would create the dance, a good match, “Um sure but the songs might suck,” he says quietly.
“Oh don't see yourself short! I'm sure they're great!” he says sincerely, “Besides you have to submit works for any art major to be accepted in, so you have to be talented,” he adds matter of factly.
Jihoon finds himself smiling at that, Jihoon himself doesn't think his compositions aren't anything much, there was always room for improvement but every other person he showed would always disagree with him. But it was amazing how much the other had faith in Jihoon talents without ever hearing his compositions.
“You haven't heard what my compositions sound like,” He says, almost amused.
Soonyoung smiles, “Details, besides that, mean you just need to show me your compositions if you want time to make an accurate evaluation,” he says winking. Which catches Jihoon off guard so much that he can feel his ears burn.
It seems Soonyoung catches on as he laughs gently. Finally, they get to the front of the line and place in their orders, of course, Soonyoung upholds his promise and treats Jihoon. They wait on the side for their drinks. Jihoon hopes that this will be the end of their interaction. But of course, the universe has some other plans when Soonyoung decides to continue the conversation.
“So why music production? Why do you want to be a producer?” He says again sounding so genuine with no hint of judgment and just pure curiosity.
Jihoon shrugs, “Music has always been a huge part of my life, and I guess I kind of got tired of playing other people's songs that I started making my own, and it was fun,” he says truthfully.
Music has always been around in his life. His dad owned a small vinyl record shop in his hometown and his mother taught violin and piano, so naturally, Jihoon was surrounded by it.
He's surprised he's even opening up to Soonyoung so quickly, but something about him just feels so natural to talk to.
“That's cool, I had something similar with dancing, I started out with learning choreographies and then I just wanted to make my own!” He says, “I actually started my old school’s dance team,” he says sheepishly.
“Embarrassingly enough I made a dance to this full moon o’ sagashite’s opening and thought it would be funny to make my team dance it during an assembly, but everyone really had fun both dancing it and watching! and that's my goal to make fun choreos that everyone enjoys!” He says smiling brightly. Jihoon really has to admire the other, he seemed very passionate about what he wanted to do. It reminded Jihoon of himself.
“You watch Moon o’ Sagashite too?” Jihoon says quietly.
“Oh yeah, it's one of my favorites!” Soonyoung says excitedly to find a similar interest.
“Mine too,” Jihoon says shyly.
The barista calls out their orders and they go up to the counter to collect their drinks. Jihoon half expects that this will be the ending of the conversation, but he second-guesses Soonyoung's ability to go on about the things he's passionate about as he goes into a spew about why the anime was his favorite.
Jihoon finds himself actually enjoying the other rants. And even occasionally put in his own comment or two. They find an unoccupied table so they aren't standing their whole conversation. And in a flash, an hour goes by. Jihoon learns that he and Soonyoung actually have many things in common, even if Soonyoung at a glance looks like Jihoon's complete opposite. They talk so much that they barely realize the time has passed and they're almost late for their next classes. But before they depart Soonyoung is quick to write down his number on a napkin for Jihoon. Since they were partners for the semester they should have a way of communicating.
They had clicked together in an instant like magnets. As if they were made for each other.
And well Soonyoung kind of is made for Jihoon seeing as he is his soulmate. But his heart aches slightly when he reminds himself, although Soonyoung is made for him; Jihoon wasn't made for Soonyoung.
It pains him to think that way, he could physically feel his heart squeezing at the thought, but it's the reality of the situation. Jihoon can’t get fixated with something that he knows will only end in heartbreak.
But even despite all the reminders he keeps to himself, a small part of him hopes that maybe Soonyoung doesn't care about the soulmate bond.
Small amounts of society were starting to try and find love outside of the system, believing in free will outside the bond. To fall in love with someone you choose instead of what the system says for you. There wasn't a law out there that said you had to end up with your soulmate, and many people out there were happy with their partners even if they weren't with their soulmate.
The hope grows every time Soonyoung smiles at him from across their lab table during their class. Each time Soonyoung shoots him a text asking if he's watched the latest episode of a new anime. When Soonyoung randomly texts him to see if he was free for lunch simply because he's bored and missed Jihoon.
It increases like how his heartbeat increases every time Soonyoung causally wraps an arm around his shoulder when they happen to meet each other on campus for coffee. The other seems to not know what personal space was and constantly found himself in Jihoon’s bubble. It left Jihoon feeling warm and his ears flushed, and as many times as Jihoon tries to push Soonyoung away, Soonyoung always returns, and somehow each time, Jihoon doesn’t really mind.
Everything about Soonyoung is giving him too much hope as his actions ride the borderline of being friendly and being flirtatious. Jihoon doesn't know whether to pull his hair out in frustration at how he's just setting himself for heartbreak, or if he should just willingly let himself fall blindly trusting his hope that maybe, just maybe Soonyoung doesn't think much about the soulmate system.
But it comes to a shattering end when one day the class starts discussing soulmates. They were only on the topic because a student had asked the professor if they found their soulmate already. Which sparked a discussion of the system and how people view it. Many were like Jihoon who remained neutral and said the system was a nice thought, but they didn't find themselves thinking about it often. There were some who could care less. And some who felt strongly about the system and believed it to be the best thing in the world.
And one of those people who fell in the last category was Soonyoung.
“I think it's beautiful the way people are just fated together!” He says almost dreamily, “Of course people can choose who they want to love, but I only want to be with my soulmate!” He announces confidently and Jihoon feels his stomach sink as the words settle in with a pang straight to his heart.
“I mean if they're made for me then it's fate, right? They should be my first and only love in life,” He smiles softly as if he's already imagining meeting his soulmate.
Many around him nod and hum in agreement. Some go to lightly tease him in how much of a sap he is.
And Jihoon?
He sits there quietly as he feels his heart shatter and his stomach drops to the floor. Of course, the universe thinks it's hilarious. First pairing him with an unrequited bond, then giving him so much hope that maybe they could work it out only to rip it away from Jihoon from under him by making sure that the bond will forever stay unrequited. Because Soonyoung could never return Jihoon’s sentiment.
Cause as much as Soonyoung may have been made and destined for Jihoon. It simply wasn’t the same case for Jihoon to Soonyoung.
Jihoon felt stupid for thinking that maybe things could still work out. But now he has a stronger resolve. He should just quit it while he's at it and move on. He shouldn’t try so hard in something that seems hopeless. So from that day, he started pushing Soonyoung away, and hopefully this time the other stays away.
It starts off with slowly rejecting Soonyoung's offers for lunch or coffee, saying that he had work to catch up with, which isn't a flat-out lie sometimes he did have work. He started ignoring any of Soonyoung’s text or replying with one-worded responses. It was easy to avoid the other boy outside of class. Simply seeing red hair was Jihoon’s sign to turn away. But inside class, it was a different story. He couldn't just avoid his partner for the semester, but what he could do was keep the interaction to a minimum. Any conversation the other attempted he cut off short and promptly with one-worded answers. He stopped himself from laughing and any corny joke, and forced himself to look anywhere else but Soonyoung.
And easy as it was on planning to ignore Soonyoung, the execution became increasingly difficult for Jihoon to follow through.
It wasn’t long until he felt guilty because each time he ignored his soulmate, he would see Soonyoung’s expression fall slightly before going back to its usual bright one. The other seemed down as of late and his eyes were somewhat duller. It hurt to watch as each day Jihoon acted cold to Soonyoung, the more Soonyoung just dulled. It made Jihoon’s heart clench at the sight, but he had to stay strong. This was for his own good.
It was week two of the plan to ignore his soulmate when Soonyoung stopped Jihoon on his way to class.
“Hey, can we talk?” Soonyoung asks quietly, hesitantly.
Jihoon gulps, preparing to reject, but Soonyoung looks at him pleadingly, with his eyes wide and his lip slightly pouty that it was a difficult thing for Jihoon to object to. In the end, he can’t fight it so he sighs, “Make it quick I have some work to catch up with,” looking away from the other.
It was a total excuse and he sucked at lying so he was hoping the other didn’t see right through him. He knows that this conversation will be about Jihoon and his flakey nature as of late. But right now he couldn't read if Soonyoung was upset with Jihoon for it.
“Did I do something wrong?” Soonyoung asks softly, almost insecurely and Jihoon is taken by a slight surprise that he doesn’t know how to respond. Soonyoung takes the quietness as a yes and deflates, looking small although he was a good head taller than Jihoon, “Listen I know I can be really annoying and overbearing, and I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable at any point,” he bites his lip.
Jihoon stands there frozen. Sure Soonyoung had occasional annoying moments but Jihoon couldn't find it as uncomfortable and didn’t mind it all that much, everyone has their moments. But the fact that the other had brought it up meant that people have called him annoying with negative intent. So much so that the other seemed self-conscious of it. It makes Jihoon feel even more guilty for making Soonyoung feel like he was only ignoring him because he thought Soonyoung was annoying when it isn’t the case. He stays quiet because he's not sure how he could explain Soonyoung the real reason he was ignoring him.
It seems Soonyoung takes the silence in the wrong way because he sighs and stuffs his hands in his pockets in a huff, “If you don’t want to be friends or whatever anymore that’s fine, but you could've told me rather than just avoid and be cold to me for days.”
He starts to walk past Jihoon. But before he can manage to slip past him, Jihoon turns and takes the other wrist forcing him to stop, “Soonyoung wait!”
Jihoon flushes because it was embarrassingly loud, some students look over at the commotion briefly before whispering and going back to their lives. And he’s still holding Soonyoung’s wrist like it was a scene in a drama. Quickly he lets go of the other’s wrist and drops his hands by his own body. He looks to Soonyoung who looks at him with curiosity and expectancy.
“I- that’s not why I was ignoring you,” he stutters out avoiding eye contact, “There were just some things I was stressed about and I tend to push others away when it happens.”
It wasn't a lie but it’s not the full truth either. He was stressed, stressed about his soulmate situation, but he wasn't about to reveal that to the other, “I know it's no real excuse for ignoring you, and I’m really am sorry for making you feel like I didn’t want to be friends with you,
And for the record I don’t think that you’re annoying, and you didn’t make me uncomfortable at all,” he says wanting to make that clear as a sunny day to the other, “I was just being stupid and again I’m sorry for being an asshole for the past few days,” he says bowing, because he does feel guilty.
Soonyoung stops him midway, “Woah hey it’s okay you um don’t need to do that,” Jihoon straightens up and looks up to Soonyoung who looks flushed. The other seems surprised by the sudden eye contact and looks away rubbing at the back of his neck.
Soonyoung sighs, “It’s okay, I’m the one who shouldn’t have assumed, but thank you for clearing it up,” he says smiling at Jihoon.
“No it’s my fault really,” Jihoon says sincerely.
“So friends still?” Soonyoung asks hesitantly.
“Yeah,” Jihoon says shakingly. He internally tries to convince himself that maybe being friends won’t be too bad. Soonyoung was a good person and overall Jihoon didn’t mind his presence. It would be nice to have a friend like Soonyoung. Just someone to talk to while he was staying in Seoul.
Soonyoung smiles nice and bright at Jihoon’s answer, “So would it be okay if we grabbed some lunch together? I'm starving,” He says sheepishly. Jihoon laughs and nods, he’s hungry as well.
Slowly they fall into a good conversation, catching up on what they've been doing in the past few days, even though it’s not much. They fall into a steady and comfortable atmosphere and Jihoon can breathe easily in it. He finds himself calmer with Soonyoung even though Soonyoung was the very thing causing Jihoon stress earlier in the week. He decides then being friends isn't so bad.
He just couldn’t catch feelings. It’ll be hard, but Jihoon was always good at swallowing his emotions.
---
The two fall into a steady routine of hanging out and grabbing lunch together at least once a week. Jihoon starts actually initiating conversations over text and eventually invites Soonyoung over to his apartment. Where the two study together occasionally; eventually they forgo studying to watch anime on Jihoon’s laptop instead.
With each passing day, Jihoon finds himself more comfortable around Soonyoung and more welcoming of the others' presence. It’s refreshing to have a friend in Seoul while all his other friends are back home. But he had to remind himself, he shouldn’t get too comfortable with the other. They were only to be friends. He had to maintain that distance.
“Jihoonie I think you need more friends,” Soonyoung says while scrolling through his phone on Jihoon’s bed as Jihoon sits on his desk trying his best to write a report on what they did in their lab today.
He flushes at the use of the nickname, Soonyoung seems fond of using them for him as of late, “I have friends,” he says offended, turning his attention away from his laptop to Soonyoung.
And he does. He has Seungcheol, his childhood friend since they were in diapers. He also had his younger brother’s Seokmin and Chan, which he guesses some won’t count since they were siblings, but the point was he had friends. It's just the majority of them were in Busan.
“I know that but I mean you don’t have friends here, besides me of course,” he says smiling.
It’s not like the other was wrong. Soonyoung was kind of his only friend at the moment, but that was mostly due to Jihoon not really making an effort to make new friends in the first few weeks of University. In his defense, he was too busy focusing on the fact that he had met his Soulmate that was unrequited.
“So what are you saying?” Jihoon inquiries, curious as to why Soonyoung would bring up Jihoon’s lack of friends now.
“Let me introduce you to some of my friends! They’re really nice, you’ll get along nicely,” he says matter of factly.
Jihoon has no real protest against it, he can't find an excuse not to. It also wouldn't hurt knowing a few more people on campus, so he allows Soonyoung to drag him to lunch with some of his friends. (He also allows it because, in reality, he could never say no to Soonyoung but he won't admit to that so suddenly)
Soonyoung introduces him to Wonwoo, Junhui, and Jeonghan. They're all very nice undoubtedly like Soonyoung had said and Jihoon found himself enjoying their overall presence that he agrees to hang out more with the 4 of them.
He learns Junhui was a transfer student from China. Like Soonyoung he was a dance major and that's how the two met. Overall Junhui was pretty shy, much like Jihoon, but he was pretty funny when he opened up.
Jeonghan was a year older than them and was an advertising major. He was a family friend to Soonyoung as their parents were friends. He was very playful and liked to tease and play small pranks on the other, but underneath all that he was very doting in nature. He practically took Jihoon under his wing the moment they met it reminded him a lot of how Seungcheol would act like a brooding hen over him. It was nice.
Lastly, he learns that Wonwoo is Soonyoung’s childhood friend since middle school. He was a literature major and Jihoon found to have many similarities with the other. They were both more on the quiet side preferring to observe rather than part take in the chaos. He found the other boy nice to be around, but for some reason, he couldn't help but feel uncomfortable at just how close the other was with Soonyoung.
It was irrational of him to feel so uncomfortable whenever Soonyoung got overly clingy with the other, who willingly allowed it. He knew Soonyoung was overly clingy from the weeks of knowing the other, but it seemed different with Wonwoo. It was more affectionate, especially so because Wonwoo would reciprocate it.
For example 5 of them were hanging out leisurely in a common area of one of the campus dorms. Soonyoung was sitting on the ground, head leaning his back against Wonwoo’s legs. Meanwhile, Wonwoo softly played with the other's hair as they watched Junhui and Jeonghan battle each other in a game of ping pong. Jihoon had to stop himself from staring at the two from his side of the couch, less he came off as uncomfortable.
He understands why it didn't sit right for him, Soonyoung was his soulmate. But he had to remind himself he wasn't Soonyoungs soulmate, nor were they in a relationship. He had no right to feel jealous over the two's closeness. It was stupid, Soonyoung was his friend. And only his friend. Wonwoo was becoming Jihoon’s friend too. He really shouldn't feel jealous. And besides Wonwoo and Soonyoung were just friends as well. Friends could be affectionate, he rationalizes with himself.
But then he hears something coming from Wonwoo, “Soons your hair is fading again, it's not even red anymore, it's like a sad orange,”
It was true, the bright red had dulled down in the weeks that Jihoon had met Soonyoung, it was messy with bits and pieces still red and the majority a brassy orange.
Soonyoung sighs looking up to the other, “I was thinking about trying a different color, what should I try this time around?”
This would be a normal conversation to anyone else but to Jihoon it was a revelation.
Wonwoo could see color.
Wonwoo had met his soulmate.
His thoughts were processing quicker that his brain almost couldn't keep up. Maybe just maybe, Wonwoo and Soonyoung weren't just childhood friends. Just maybe their affections towards each other had something more than platonic meanings behind it.
Maybe Soonyoung and Wonwoo are soulmates.
Soonyoung had already found his soulmate and guessing from the way Wonwoo could see color, it was well reciprocated. At the moment of his revelation, it felt like the universe carved his heart out of his chest and just left him empty for only himself to fill it.
It hurt to know that despite Soonyoung being a perfect match for Jihoon, Jihoon wasn't the same for Soonyoung, at least the universe thought so. But Soonyoung looked happy and that should be all that mattered right? His soulmate was happy with his actual soulmate, those two were fated, Jihoon has no real reason to be upset. He has no right to stake a claim on something that wasn't meant to be. Soonyoung was happy, and Jihoon? well, he’ll be okay. He can find happiness too.
At least that's what he can tell himself until he feels it's true.
And so he tries not to act down when he sees the two together. He tries to hold his heart back from skipping a beat when Soonyoung would smile at him fondly. He's careful not to get too close to Soonyoung, especially with Wonwoo around to respect their relationship. It's difficult to move on, but he'd eventually have to; it's ineffable, it's tied in his fate. And who would he be to challenge the universe?
--
Eventually, midterms for the semester hits and Jihoon doesn't have much time to overthink his feelings about his soulmate with all the deadlines and exams that are taking his top priorities. He almost forgets about his dilemma of moving on until one day he’s studying in the library with Wonwoo, Junhui, and Soonyoung.
Well, he and Wonwoo were studying while Junhui and Soonyoung were busy whining about exams. Jeonghan had a lecture to attend as he had the busier schedule since he was a year ahead.
“Jihoon, can you pass that green book to me?” Wonwoo asks across from him.
Jihoon freezes at Wonwoo addressing him. Ever since his revelation about the nature of Soonyoung and Wonwoo's relationship he couldn't help but feel stiff and tense with the other. He had mixed feelings with the guy seeing as Wonwoo was Soonyoung's actual soulmate, the thing Jihoon wishes he could be.
Don't get Jihoon wrong, Wonwoo was a great person, he was nice and relatable; Jihoon can't find it in himself to really hate the other, especially over something the other couldn't control. It just sucked seeing someone have the things Jihoon wished he could have.
Without much thinking, he grabs the green book to his side and passes it to the other. It's been a few months since he's gotten his colors so it was easier to distinguish and identify them, already becoming in his nature. However, he forgets that the others don't know he had his colors. A lot of people found it rude to ask if someone had met their soulmates or if they had their color, so most only found out if people were open about it or through observation.
“So you can see color?” Junhui asks as he watches from his seat next to Wonwoo, his focus on studying long gone.
“Jihoonie you've met your soulmate?” Soonyoung says perking up at his seat next to Jihoon. Jihoon tenses, feeling panic creep up slowly through his body as the whole table turns to look at him.
He can't lie and say no, Wonwoo had only said the color of the book. He didn't point or say its location when he asked, so it was clear that Jihoon knew and could distinguish what colors look like, something someone that didn't meet their soulmate couldn't typically do as shades of gray was hard to distinguish.
He can't outright say yes either cause then he'd have to say who his soulmate was, and he wasn't about to say that Soonyoung was his soulmate and Soonyoung’s requited soulmate was present.
So he gulps and stutters out the first thing he can think of, “Um I was born with my colors,” he says hoping to keep a straight face.
He searched up the different kinds of soulmate bonds found around the world. Being born with your colors meant that you didn't have the soulmate gene in your DNA, meaning that they don't have a soulmate and if they did they wouldn't know the moment they meet them. It was rare, but it was more common than having an unrequited bond, about 2% of the population were born with their colors.
The knowledge of not having a soulmate does hurt for those who are born with colors, but they do eventually cope and learn to live wonderful lives and find love outside of bonds.
He thinks his lie is convincing when Junhui and Soonyoung look at him with slight pity in their eyes. However, Wonwoo looks at him rather skeptically making Jihoon squirm. He hoped he didn't ask any more questions, he doesn't know how much he could make up until he gets caught, so he tries his best to steer the conversation away from himself.
“It's just some colors, so I don't find it as a big deal,” he shrugs trying to sound nonchalant.
“Yeah, but doesn't that mean you don't have a soulmate?” Soonyoung asks quietly, almost distressed at the fact that Jihoon didn't seem to care about soulmates.
“You don't need a soulmate to be happy,” Jihoon says shrugging once again, he tries his best to avoid Soonyoung eyes, which shine with sadness, “besides I can find love outside the system,” he says in a whisper, almost as a reminder to himself. He has to stomp this crush where it stands.
Soonyoung looks like he's about to say more but surprisingly Wonwoo cuts him off, “Soonyoung you have to remember not everyone is obsessed with the idea of soulmates like you are,” he says pointedly.
Junhui nods to Wonwoo’s words, “He has a point Soons,”
Soonyoung looks slightly offended, “I know that, but it must feel really lonely seeing others with soulmates when you don't have one,” he empathizes.
It warms Jihoon's heart that the other is so concerned with how Jihoon feels. But he has to stop himself from swooning, the other was really making it hard in the moving on department for Jihoon.
“It's really okay, I don't feel that lonely,” Jihoon tries to lighten the mood in a last-ditch attempt to have the conversation move away from himself, “Besides It's nice to see soulmates be happy, I'm sure you are right since you've already met your soulmate Wonwoo?”
The moment the words come out of his mouth the soulmate pair in question look at him in vast confusion, and Junhui bursts out in a burst of loud laughter. The librarian and a few other students glare at their table for the commotion.
Junhui looks sheepishly but he's still shaking with laughter, clutching at his stomach as he tries to contain his giggles. Jihoon becomes confused about the reactions of the others, scrunching his eyebrows and frowning feeling as if he's missed something.
“Am I missing something?” He voices.
“Wonwoo and I aren't soulmates”
“Soonyoung isn't my soulmate,”
They both say at the same time over each other, but Jihoon can easily decipher what they were saying. Before he could even ask, Junhui recovers from his fit of laughter.
“Wonwoo and Soonyoung aren't soulmates surprisingly, but I know where you're coming from. They act like they are right?” Junhui jokes light-hearted, “Wonwoo’s actually my soulmate,” he says, wrapping an arm around Wonwoo who slightly flushes.
Jihoon sits there frozen in shock, he was so sure that Soonyoung and Wonwoo were soulmates.
“Besides, Soonyoung can't see color.”
Well, that confirms that it was an unrequited bond-
“I mean, well, he won't ever see color either way since he is colorblind,” Junhui continues.
“What?” Jihoon thinks, not realizing he said it out loud.
“Jun,” Wonwoo says sharply, causing the other to slap his mouth, eyes wide shocked at what he revealed himself.
“Shit, sorry Soon, I didn't mean to reveal your secret.” He says apologetically.
“No it's okay, he was going to find out eventually,” Soonyoung shrugs off.
“You're colorblind?” Jihoon says softly and if it weren't for the fact Soonyoung was sitting next to him no one would have heard.
“Yeah, the doctors found out during eye exams that the color receptors in my eyes aren’t sensitive to any light of color, I have the soulmate mutation gene, but if I meet them I’d only be able to see black and white,” Soonyoung smiles sadly.
The gears in Jihoon's head start moving rapidly, too fast for Jihoon to process all the thought that we're going in his head. Had he been wrong this whole time?
“Then how would you know if you found your soulmate?”
“He has to wait till they tell him,” Wonwoo answers for Sooonyoung, staring at Jihoon sharply as if he knows something. Jihoon shivers at the cold stare, feeling the hair on the back of his neck stand up.
“Well now that none of us is actually studying, Junnie can you buy us coffees? and take Soons with you too. He's not helpful in studying,” Wonwoo asks, diverting them away from the topic of soulmates.
Soonyoung scoffs at the teasing, “I'm plenty helpful!” while Junhui drags him outside of the library to grab coffees.
It leaves Wonwoo and Jihoon alone. Jihoon can't find it in himself to relax, not when his mind is still running 1000 thoughts in his head all at once. Wonwoo isn't Soonyoungs soulmate, Soonyoung is colorblind. The reason why Soonyoung didn't get his colors at the same time as Jihoon was because he could never truly gain colors.
Maybe the universe wasn’t playing a huge prank on Jihoon, maybe he and Soonyoung were-
“I'm going to take a wild guess here and say that the story of being born with colors was a total lie,” Wonwoo says, jumping Jihoon out of his thoughts.
Jihoon looks up wide-eyed and shakes his head, “I- I don't know what you're talking about.”
“Alright,” Wonwoo says leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms, “So you aren't Soonyoung’s soulmate?”
Jihoon visibly flinches and his throat feels dry, giving it to Wonwoo to be observant and perceptive. He gulps he has nothing to say.
Wonwoo shakes his head, “So why are you keeping the fact away from him? You know how much he obsesses over soulmates and how badly he wants to meet his soulmate and you're keeping it away from him,” he isn't yelling, nor raising his voice in anger, but his voice drips out with disappointment. It causes Jihoon’s stomach to turn.
“I thought you were a good person Jihoon, are you just playing with Soonyoung?” Wonwoo asks, concerned, ready to argue or to tear Jihoon apart.
Jihoon immediately shakes his head, because god he would never be one to just lead someone on, “No it's not like that!” He defends himself.
He sighs and looks down at his hands that are fidgeting in his lap. “I didn't know,” he says simply, “I didn't know Soonyoung was colorblind.”
“What was I supposed to think when I got my color but he didn't, what was I supposed to do when he still saw the world as black and white when we made eye contact. I thought that it was hopeless to admit to an unrequited bond.”
Wonwoo sighs, “Sorry I'm being too harsh,” he says genuinely, Jihoon looks up to him hesitant. The other slumps down in his chair, as if trying to appear relaxed so Jihoon could relax, “It's just I know how much this means to him. Soulmates and color are a big thing in his family so when he found out he could never get his color he was crushed.”
Jihoon deflates, Soonyoung often talked about how soulmates were beautiful. He knew the other’s parents were a soulmate pair that have been together for more than 20 years. The other often went on rants on how much he wanted to meet his soulmate. He couldn't imagine how Soonyoung felt when he found out he could never truly experience a word of color with his Soulmate. If he had been in Soonyoung’s shoes he would've given up on the idea of soulmates, but Soonyoung held on. It was cute.
“You know he dyes his hair ridiculous colors hoping that when he meets his soulmate, it'll be the first thing they point out and he'll know,” Wonwoo reveals. Jihoon laughs lightly, which explains the bright neon hair.
“Well it was definitely the first thing I noticed after we crashed into each other,” he says quietly recalling that day.
Wonwoo laughs lightly as well, “He was probably too distracted thinking he gave you a concussion over noticing how you were staring at his hair because it was bright red,”
The two laugh about it for a moment before Wonwoo continues, “You should really tell him,” he suggests.
Jihoon inhales sharply, he does he really does but something was holding him back, “I don't know if I'll be able to,”
Wonwoo tilts his head in confusion, “What do you mean?”
There's a lot of thoughts that run through Jihoon's head, “I mean what if,” he gulps shakingly, “the bond is actually unrequited and Soonyoung has a soulmate out there, or I tell him and he only likes me because he thinks we're soulmates,” He fiddles with his fingers, “Or what if he doesn't believe me or gets mad that I kept it from him?” It was a stupid way to rationalize the situation, but they were very possible outcomes.
He didn't want to end up telling Soonyoung and later on find out oh someone else got their colors for Soonyoung. Or there would be some weird psychological trick that makes Soonyoung feel obligated to like Jihoon.
Wonwoo rolls his eyes, “Stop with that right now,” He says pointedly, “Just tell him he'll be so happy and he'll understand if you explain to him.” He says reassuringly, but Jihoon still doesn't look convinced.
So Wonwoo sighs and shakes his head, “Don't worry about Soonyoung only liking you back because you say your soulmates. He's probably too far in his head about meeting his soulmate that he doesn't realize that he's already got stars in his eyes when he looks at you.”
Jihoon blinks in surprise that it causes Wonwoo to laugh, “You should hear him sometimes when you aren't around, It's always ‘Jihoonie this or Jihoonie that’,” he says imitating Sooyoung's voice, causing jihoon to flush. Which makes Wonwoo laugh more.
“Trust me, he's already falling head first with you even if he doesn't realize it, just tell him,” He encourages.
Jihoon smiles softly, maybe it wouldn't be too bad. So he inhales shakingly, “I'll tell him, but not now,” he says, “I just need to wrack up the courage to tell him, and figure out the proper time to tell him.”
Wonwoo smiles and nods, accepting it, “Take your time to think it out, but please do it soon, he deserves to know,” He says softly.
As he says that Jun and Soonyoung arrive back with 4 small cups of hot beverages. As they arrive at the table they pass out the coffee. Junhui gives Wonwoo his cup, while Soonyoung slides Jihoon's over gently to him.
“One black coffee for Jihoon,” he smiles softly, it's one that isn't as bright as his usual smiles but it's still warm and lively. Almost fond, it sends butterflies in Jihoon's stomach, and maybe just this once he’ll allow them to flutter because of the possibility that maybe his soulmate bond wasn't so unrequited after all.
With the end of midterms comes the changing of the seasons, summer ends quietly as it turns to fall. And slowly, he lets the distance between him and Soonyoung close willingly and finds himself just opening more to Soonyoung.
It's terrifying just how quickly he allows Soonyoung in and how much he’s okay with it. He lets Soonyoung stay with him during the nights he decides to stay up on compositions. Even letting the other listen to songs that were far from completion, asking him for his thoughts on it, something he never lets anyone do. He’s not one to ask for help and he hates to look weak, but with Soonyoung he didn’t mind letting the other see as he breaks down in frustration sometimes. The others never judge and just allow Jihoon to be vulnerable while he helps pick up the pieces.
Soonyoung returned the sentiment inviting Jihoon to watch him practice. Allowing Jihoon to be blunt about his choreographies and what they were lacking or what he liked. Soonyoung would reach out to him if he just needed someone to listen to his frustrations and be there for support when he needed it.
It comes naturally just to just talk to Soonyoung, he found himself being able to just talk to Soonyoung about virtually anything. From stupid small things like if a giraffe would wear a tie on the base of their neck or near the top by their head,
“We wear ties on the base of our necks why would it be different for them,”
“But it looks better near the top,”
“But it about practicality,”
To deep thoughts about the future and the universe,
“Do you think it would've been better if I decided to go for something practical?” Soonyoungs asks as he lays on the ground of the school’s practice room in a puddle of his own sweat. It was late at night and Jihoon had stopped by from his way home from producing to see if the other was still at it.
“Soonyoung what are you talking about?” he asks, bringing a bottle of water and a towel to the other, who takes them gladly.
“I mean dancing. It’s a difficult industry to get into and stay stable in, do you think it would've been better if, I dunno, I decided to go into business or something,” he says quietly to himself.
Jihoon frowns, “Soons you love dancing, and you’re so talented in it that the industry would be stupid not to recognize it. Besides I’ve never seen someone so passionate about the things you do than yourself, you go into things with your all or none at all. If you went into something you didn’t personally feel passionate about you’ll feel shitty about yourself and that isn't practical for you,” Jihoon says simply and bluntly.
Despite it, Soonyoung finds himself smiling, “You’re right I suck at math I would feel shitty in business,”
“Exactly, no one would hire you too because you'd cause them to go bankrupt or something,” Jihoon jokes and Soonyoung laughs, nice and bright, it’s music to Jihoon’s ears.
Talking to Soonyoung was as easy as breathing for Jihoon. And sometimes they didn’t need to talk. Sometimes they were just content with silence as they would just sit in the same room as Jihoon would write out lyrics curled up in his desk chair as Soonyoung scrolled through his phone. Or when Soonyoung would be caught up in his focus of blocking out positions and perfecting angles as Jihoon napped quietly in the corner of his practice room.
And with each passing day, they just learn about each other. They learn so much that they just know each other like the back of their hands.
Like how Soonyoung knows Jihoon doesn't like hot food, so he already places ice cubes in Jihoon’s serving of ramen or places a portion of rice in the fridge because that's how Jihoon likes it.
And Jihoon knows that Soonyoung under his bubbly and loud personality has a short social battery and knows when that battery needs charging. So on those days, he welcomes Soonyoung to just relax on his bed as he cuddles up and watches anime in silence.
The physical intimacy is what really terrifies Jihoon at how quickly he just allows it. He hates physical contact, even with his family members, always finding himself squirming away from tight suffocating hugs and avoidant of contact as a whole.
But with Soonyoung, it was okay. Something about the lingering touches on his shoulders or the light squeezing of his hugs settled well with Jihoon. He didn't mind the clinginess, at least not in privacy. In public, he pulled a small front only because he still had his pride. Soonyoung catches on, teasing when he can in public to watch Jihoon get flustered and then fully cashes out on his desired affection when they are alone.
In a flash, the two become inseparable. Evident in how they see each other on a daily basis and how Soonyoung is at Jihoon’s apartment more than he is over at his own dorm. Even most of his clothes and some other belongings were stored in Jihoons apartment. It quickly becomes their normal.
So Jihoon isn’t at all surprised to find himself in his current position.
Right now he was laying in his bed with Soonyoung curled up asleep nearly on top of him. With his arms tightly wrapped around his middle, his head snuggled nicely into Jihoon’s chest, and a leg was thrown over his own effectively trapping him in Soonyoung’s embraced. Jihoon’s lower half was slowly getting numb but he didn't really mind if it meant being able to watch Soonyoung sleep.
He knows it's pretty creepy, but the other was so peaceful compared to his regular firecracker personality. Gently he runs his hands through Soonyoung’s hair. He’s surprised at how soft it feels despite it being dyed a blue. Soonyoung looked calm and serene like this, cheek pressed into his chest as his shoulders moved in a steady rhythm. The other must have been tired.
Originally Soonyoung had dragged Jihoon home from campus saying Jihoon needed to rest, trapping him on the bed, but it seems the other was the one in need of rest. It was peaceful in this type of atmosphere that leaves Jihoon with his thoughts.
It had been about a month since midterms when he had learned that his bond with Soonyoung wasn't necessarily unrequited like he thought. Since then Jihoon hasn't really made any big effort to actually tell Soonyoung. A part of him was too scared to.
He wanted Soonyoung to genuinely like him, and not because he had to be obligated to.
The reality they had right now was nice and calm, Jihoon didn't want to risk it and shatter what they had now. He wonders if the color system was gone if he'd still have this trouble. If he’d even fall for Soonyoung without the knowledge of being soulmates if the roles were reversed would he still feel the same?
He shakes his head at those thoughts. There's no use in getting caught in hypotheticals. He wasn't attracted to Soonyoung because they were soulmates; it was deeper than that. Soonyoung was just naturally charming, funny, sweet, and unfairly attractive. He was a bright flame and Jihoon was a moth. He was someone that Jihoon was most comfortable with, and to Jihoon comfort meant everything. He liked things simple, and with Soonyoung things seemed simple. In another reality, if nothing was changed, except for the color system, Jihoon is sure he'd fall one way or another.
He stays like that for a few more minutes, just softly stroking Soonyoung’s hair and watching as his breathing falls in a steady rhythm before he decides it’s probably time to wake the other. His lower half was now numb and he still had to shower before bed. So gently he wakes the other.
Soonyoung whines and pouts softly, jutting out his lower lip cutely, but after some coercing he lets Jihoon go to the shower. When Jihoon comes back now clean, Soonyoung is still laying in his bed, this time on his back. Jihoon isn’t sure if the other is awake as his eyes are still closed. But it seems the other could hear him move around the room because his voice comes out slurred and in a deep rumble due to how tired he is.
“Finally come ‘ere,” he says, stretching his arms invitingly. Jihoon looks at him in amusement.
“What am I your pillow?” approaching the bedside.
“Yes, now c’mon I want cuddles,” he whines blindly reaching for Jihoon to pull him in.
Jihoon shakes his head, “You need to shower and get back to your dorm,” he reminds Soonyoung, who sighs.
“Can’t, too tired,” he teases, still trying to grab at Jihoon.
“At least shower,” Jihoon tries to compromise, “I already did after practice today before I picked you up,” he says gently, opening one eye slowly to look at Jihoon.
“Now stop nagging and come here,” Jihoon sighs in defeat and flops next to Soonyoung and subtly snuggles into his side as Soonyoung wraps an arm around his middle to pull him closer.
Jihoon can feel his ears burning cause although he's getting used to the proximity it doesn't make it any less flustering to be so close to the other. He’s thankful that the others only think of this behavior as things close friends do. At the same time it frustrates him because this isn't typically something close friends should be doing, especially when said close friends are technically fated together by the universe but details.
He should really come around to tell Soonyoung soon, but for now, he’ll enjoy moments like this. Being held in Soonyoung's arms, tucked under his chin listening to his steady heartbeat as they quietly allow their breaths to sync and fall into a steady rhythm. It’s these types of the moment that Jihoon loves-
It hits him.
He’s in love, it's a quiet revelation that settles nicely, perfectly normal like a known fact. The sky is blue, birds can fly, and Jihoon is in love with Soonyoung. Jihoon doesn’t find himself freaking out about it and his brain isn't bombarded by thoughts, only warmth spreads through his body, it's not a burning sensation but it's comforting and welcome. The realization brings a calming effect to him as he slowly falls asleep in Sooyoung's embrace.
Winter comes in a breeze and before the end of the semester hits them with busy schedules or deadlines they decide to go out and buy gifts for their friends, even if both are broke college students they want to get their friends something nice. The streets are surprisingly busy with other early holiday shoppers. Soonyoung in a moment of brilliance, stupidity as Jihoon would call it, grabs onto Jihoons hands as they start to move through the crowd.
“I’d hate to lose you in the crowd, you're so tiny it would be hard to find you,” Soonyoung teases to which Jihoon pinches his hand.
Soonyoung winces, “I'm not the one with the habit of wandering off Kwon,” He says sharply. Despite it, Soonyoung doesn't seem to take the other seriously, just laughing lightly as he squeezes Jihoon’s hand.
(He doesn't take it to heart because Jihoon holds on tightly still despite the teasing)
They go in and out of multiple stores, mostly looking around for ideas. They have a rough idea of what the others would want. They also look for presents they could give their family members. They find themselves stumbling into a small corner store that sells small knick-knacks and odd charms and figurines. It’s not as crowded as other stores, with only 2 other shoppers and a clerk in the front; but despite the lack of crowd, Jihoon still finds himself holding hands with Soonyoung as they look through the store.
Currently, they were looking at the small cat charms. They were about 5cm big and looked handmade guessing from the unique designs.
“Look this one looks like Wonu,” Soonyoung says, pointing to a charm of a cartoon cat looking bored with glasses on using his free hand. Jihoon snorts, it does remind him of Wonwoo.
“You should get it for him,” Jihoon suggested, looking over the charms, Soonyoung looked at it contemplating, “We could get Jun one too, it can be like a mixed match set for them,” Jihoon says as points out another cat charm. The cat had big eyes that looked innocent but its smile suggested something mischievous, very Junhui-like.
“If we get them a set we should get one for ourselves too,” Soonyoung says proudly of his idea. He then grabs the Junhui and Wonwoo cat charms before scanning the charms once more until he finds two more, which he shows Jihoon.
“This one is you,” he says, bringing up a charm of a white cat that was curled up in itself but was sporting a grumpy face as if someone had woke it up, “And this is me,” showing a charm of a baby tiger cub roaring.
Jihoon looks at him amused, of course, he’d choose a tiger to represent himself. Jihoon shakes his head before his eyes catch something. Subtlety he smirks and grabs a charm with his free hand, “Are you sure, I think this one suits you more,” He says teasingly holding up a hamster charm.
Soonyoung looks offended, pouting, “Hey, I’m not a hamster,” he says defensively. Jihoon can’t help the fond smile that inches on his face. He laughs lightly putting the charm away before dragging Soonyoung over to the cashier so they could check out the charms. As the old clerk slowly inputs the prices, Soonyoung looks over the necklaces by the register, picking up a few to look at them. Jihoon watches quietly.
“That one looks nice,” He comments as Soonyoung picks up a silver necklace with a star charm. In the middle of the charm was a blue gemstone, “Matches your hair color,”
Soonyoung hums, “Should I get it?”
Jihoon shrugs, Soonyoung thinks it over before taking it off and placing it on the counter, “You should get one too so we can match,”
“Soons were already getting matching charms,” he points out quietly.
“Yeah but that's also going to match with our friends, let's get something just for the two of us,” He says gently and Jihoon can feel himself giving in as he grabs a necklace with a moon charm, like the star it had a blue gemstone on it too.
The old clerk smiles as she watches the two’s exchange, “You two are cute, remind me a lot of me and my wife when we first met,” She comments adding on the necklaces to their balance, “How long has it been since you found each other,” She asks gently.
The two tense up at being mistaken as a couple, not only that but a soulmate pair. Soonyoung is quick to let go of Jihoon’s hand, Jihoon tries not to pout. Soonyoung looks like he’s about to correct the clerk but Jihoon surprisingly speaks up.
“A few months ago,” he smiles shakingly, “We met on the first day of University,” he says.
The clerk coos at how cute that was before completing the check out process. Soonyoung smiles awkwardly but otherwise stays quiet during the exchange. He doesn’t say anything until they're out of the store.
“Why’d you lie to the clerk?” Soonyoung says quietly, stopping as they walk. People walk around them.
Jihoon tenses and gulps, “Technically I didn't lie, we met a few months ago,” he says as he grabs Soonyoung’s hand again and pulls them to the side out of everyone’s way.
“But we aren't soulmates,” Soonyoung frowns. Jihoon gulps, god if only he knew.
“I didn't say we were,” he shrugs avoiding eye contact with the other, “What they don't know what hurt them,” he says as he tries to pull Soonyoung forward to a new store, he really doesn’t feel like now is a good time for this conversation. At first, Soonyoung doesn’t budge, as if he isn't done talking about it. And for once Jihoon isn’t going to give in to Soonyoung, so he keeps moving forwards. Eventually, Soonyoung just sighs and they go on with their day as if nothing happened.
But after that day there's a shift in their relationship. It takes Jihoon a while to actually notice it however as his workload starts to pick up and he has deadlines the end-of-term showcase tailing steadily behind him to focus on. He’s so busy he doesn’t realize Soonyoung doesn’t come over as often as he usually does, or that Soonyoung hasn’t tried to drag him outside of his studio once in the past week. At first, Jihoon had chalked it up to Soonyoung being busy as well.
The other had to wrap up blocking and choreographing for his end of term evaluation on top of studying for exams. Jihoon didn't think much of it until one day when he's finally free he decided to text Soonyoung asking if he wanted to get lunch with him.
It takes a while for Soonyoung to respond, but when he does it reads:
sorry busy :( another time?
Jihoon sighs in slight disappointment but he can't really expect the other to drop everything for Jihoon to eat with him. So he pouts and gets up deciding to just get lunch by himself. He’s not as hungry as he was before so he stops over by the school cafe to get a coffee and a simple sandwich, but as he approaches he notices a certain someone with blue hair in the cafe. For someone busy he sure wasn’t. Jihoon frowns stepping into the cafe to approach Soonyoung who was busy talking to Junhui. Junhui spots him first waving at him.
“Hey Jihoon!” he says cheerfully. From his view, he can see Soonyoung flinching in his seat. Jihoon approaches the two’s table smiling.
“Hey!” he greets before turning to Soonyoung, “I thought you were busy,”
Soonyoung shrugs not meeting Jihoon’s eyes, “Schedule cleared up for a bit so I decided to go on a lunch break with Jun, I was going to text you, but I wasn't sure if you were still free,”
It’s obvious to Jihoon that the other wasn’t being entirely truthful, but this time he’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. It seemed partially true with Junhui nodding along with Soonyoung. So he just lets it go this once and eats a light lunch with the two.
But from there it becomes painfully obvious that Jihoon was being avoided by Soonyoung. With the number of excuses the other throws at Jihoon and at how quickly Soonyoung is to leave when Jihoon appears in the room or in his genuine direction. It leaves Jihoon confused because he honestly has no clue what would even cause it.
He lays lonely in his bed trying to rationalize why Soonyoung would just start avoiding him out of nowhere. It made no sense. The other even stopped coming over that the apartment felt lonely without the other’s presence which was stupid because the other didn’t even live there. He sighs, might as well turn to the person who knows Soonyoung better than himself, Wonwoo.
“I’ll be honest I have no clue,” He says sipping his coffee.
Jihoon groans, “Are you sure, has he mentioned anything?” he asked worriedly.
Wonwoo looks sympathetic, “Sorry Ji, he hasn't said anything,” he shrugs, “Did you two have a fight of something?”
Jihoon slumps in his chair getting more frustrated with each passing second, “No, the last time we hung out we went shopping, and- oh god,” he says, realizing what may have happened.
Wonwoo raises a brow in question, Jihoon sighs he’s so stupid that he didn't realize it sooner, “When we were shopping we kind of got mistaken as a soulmate pair, and I stopped Soonyoung from denying it,”
“I mean you two are,” he says as if stating the obvious.
“Soonyoung still doesn't know yet,” Jihoon says begrudgingly,
Surprise paints Wonwoo's face, “He still doesn't know?” Jihoon looks away in shame and nods, “I thought you told him with the way you two have been acting for the past few months.”
The comment makes Jihoon flush, “I know, it's my own fault, but I was going to tell him after the term ends when we were less busy,” he mumbles out.
Wonwoo sighs, “So Soonyoung is avoiding you because you told some strangers you are a soulmate pair when he believes that you guys aren't,"
Jihoon nods, “That pretty much sums it up,”
Wonwoo sighs and places his coffee on the table, “I hate to be the one to say it, but I told you so,”
Jihoon rolls his eyes, “I know I should've just told him sooner,” he sighs out, “What am I going to do now?”
“How about you just tell him that you two are soulmates?” Wonwoo suggests, “Clear things up between you two, and then actually start dating and go back to acting like a disgustingly cute couple again.”
Jihoon flushes at the teasing, but Wonwoo had a point, the only way to fix this now was to clear things up, “But how am I supposed to do that when he's avoiding me?”
“Catch him off guard?” Wonwoo shrugs, “I don't know Ji, I just know you should do it soon before break hits, otherwise you have to wait till the beginning of next term”
“You're going back to Busan for break right?”
Jihoon nods, the other had a point, he wanted to clear this all up before the start of the break. But that meant catching Soonyoung within the last week of the term, it would be difficult, but he didn't want to leave with things all weird between them.
Wonwoo looks at him in sympathy before wishing Jihoon luck, and in all honestly, Jihoon does need some. He really should've just told Soonyoung earlier. He had attempted several times to catch Soonyoung long enough to talk to him, even as far as going to his dorm but each time Soonyoung had found a way to run, or completely avoid Jihoon.
He sighed slumping down in his chair. Currently, he was in one of the school studios, saving files before the term ended. Well, that is what he was doing earlier but he ended up staying earlier to work on said files because Jihoon never really truly stops. Plus it was an easy way to just let go of his frustrations, besides because the term ended not many students were reserving rooms anymore so he didn't need to worry about taking other students' time.
By the time he decides to call it a night the campus is dark and very few students remain. He sighs closing up the room and walking out of the building, but as he walks through the halls of the dance department where the practice rooms were he hears faint music. He stops knowing there was only one other person who would still continue working hard at night even after the term is finished.
His suspicions are confirmed when he peaks through the small window of the practice room door and sees Soonyoung moving gracefully to the current song. He waits patiently for the other to stop his routine, silently admiring the smooth way the dancer articulated his body. Soonyoung was always mesmerizing when he danced, Jihoon couldn’t ever take his eyes away from the sight.
He doesn’t open the door until he sees the other plop onto the ground to lay there tiredly.
“Hey,” he says quietly as he peeks his head in. Soonyoung flinches in surprise looking up from his spot to see Jihoon.
He looks panicked for a second before a tired smile appears on his face, “Hi,” he says quietly.
Jihoon smiles, Soonyoung was too tired to run away right now, “It’s late why are you still here?”
Soonyoung laughs gently, and Jihoon would be lying if he said he didn’t miss that sound, “I should say the same for you Hoonie,” he teases.
Jihoon can feel the tips of his ears burn, but he tries to put on his best glare, “You got me there, but I thought dance majors already finished their evaluations?”
Soonyoung smiles, “We did I just wanted to clear my head,” he says, sitting up from the floor in favor of leaning onto the cool mirror
Jihoon looks at him in a mix of concern and curiosity as he brings over a towel from the side of the room to Soonyoung. The older takes in his appearance, pushing back his sweat-soaked hair out of his face to start wiping the sweat off of him.
“Looks like you have a lot on your head. How long have you been here?” He asked.
“Couple of hours,” Soonyoung says nonchalantly. Meanwhile, Jihoon looks at him in shock.
“Soonyoung you need to go back to your dorm! Get some rest.” He nags
“Like you're one to talk,” he says words light and teasing, Jihoon pouts and glares. Soonyoung wasn’t completely wrong, Jihoon isn’t really one to talk about taking breaks to rest because he barely does when he’s caught up in his work, but still. Dancing was more strenuous than making music, sue him for being concerned.
“Soonyoung, I’m serious,” he says pointedly.
Soonyoung laughs, nice and airy, “in a minute,” he says softly, “I was just about done anyways.”
It's easy to talk to soonyoung, even if the other has been ignoring Jihoon for weeks, it felt like nothing happened. It was natural, familiar
Jihoon takes a seat next to Soonyoung, “How did the evaluation go anyway?”
“Good,” Soonyoung says proudly, “I got a lot of praise afterward, but there's always room for improvement,” He says shrugging, Jihoon knows he's probably underplaying himself, he probably did fantastic, “How about you?"
“It went alright,” Jihoon says shrugging, but Soonyoung smiles probably knowing Jihoon was underplaying himself as always.
"Sorry," Soonyoung says solemnly in a change of mood.
“For what?” Jihoon says confused.
Soonyoung looks sheepish for a while, avoiding Jihoon’s gaze, “I should've asked about it sooner, I've been kind of busy,”
Jihoon really wants to call bull shit because Soonyoung’s definition of busy was ignoring Jihoon. He knows they're going to have to talk about it with him, it was the point of trying to catch him for the last week of term; however, when faced with it, he doesn't want to push it. Right now soonyoung is talking to him without running away or keeping conversations short. If Jihoon was being honest, he missed these moments with Soonyoung. He wasn’t one for confrontation either, it was cowardly, but maybe if went longer in ignoring the situation it would be better than confronting it. So he sighs,
“It's okay, I was worried but I understand,” Jihoon says even though he really doesn't. Why couldn’t Soonyoung just talk to him, but then again Jihoon couldn’t talk to Soonyoung either so he really shouldn’t be the one talking.
“You always seem to understand, what did I do to deserve you?'' Soonyoungs says, turning to jihoon, smiling gently.
Jihoon feels warmth pass through him, he hasn't seen that smile in a while. The smile feels special because he's only ever seen Soonyoung use it with him. It wasn’t his bright and radiant smile. The smile didn’t reach his eyes, but it was a warm and gentle curve of his lips.
Silence develops between the two, but it isn't awkward or tense, it feels familiar and comforting. Jihoon couldn’t help but sit and admire Soonyoung in the silence.
He really shouldn’t find this Soonyoung so attractive. His now purple hair was soaking wet with sweat, however, it was pushed up and away from his forehead giving him a nice rough look. It didn’t help that his sleeves were rolled up too, and Soonyoung wasn't the buffest, not by a long shot, but his arm muscles were toned with how active he was in dancing, so attractively so.
Jihoon's eyes trail to Soonyoung's plump lips. They're pink and look soft, he wonders if they'd look prettier with a sheer gloss or saliva. His eyes then flicker up to Soonyoungs eyes. They were sharp yet expressive. It was easy to tell what Soonyoung was thinking with his eyes alone and right now his eyes were looking at Jihoon's lips with curiosity.
It’s only then, does he become aware of the space, or rather the little space they had between them, Jihoon licks his lips in the realization of how close the other is. If he leaned towards Soonyoung a little more, they would be centimeters apart. He wonders if the other is thinking the same as him.
The force is almost magnetic when Jihoon feels himself lose to his want and leans towards Soonyoung. Before he could even stop himself, he notices Soonyoung leaning in as well and all logic flew out the window by this point.
Jihoon closes his eyes just as he’s close enough that he can feel their noses barely brush against each other. He can feel Soonyoung’s soft breath against his, It’s warm and Jihoon feels like he’s burning even with the air condition blasting through the room.
He can feel his heart quicken anticipating the moment’s their lips meet.
But in an instant Soonyoung pulls himself away. He stands abruptly from Jihoon, going as far as taking a few steps back. Jihoon has to stop the sound of disappointment coming from his throat as he opens his eyes and regrets his choices cause Soonyoung looks so torn.
"Soonyoung?"
“Jihoon I think we should stop." He flinched Soonyoung rarely just uses his name. It was always Ji, or Hoonie or Jihoonie, never just Jihoon.
He gulps down, throat going dry "Stop what?" he asks dumbly even though he knows what Soonyoung was implying.
“This thing between us,” He says, gesturing between them, “I think we should put some space between us.” He says looking away torn as the words come out of his mouth.
Jihoon stands up now, trying to meet Soonyoung’s eyes the best he can.
“Soonyoung what are you talking about? Why do we need space away from each other?” He knows he shouldn’t just try to sweep it under the rug, but it was his defense mechanism to do so.
Soonyoung sighs in frustration, maybe in disbelief as well, ruffling his hair “Ji don't play dumb you know what I'm talking about! I’m sure you've heard the rumors, people think we're dating! That store clerk from a couple of weeks ago even thought we were a matched soulmate pair.” His voice cracks and raises periodically as if he’s holding back tears.
Jihoon can feel his own tears swell into his eyes as he tries to swallow at the lump in his throat, “So what?” he tries.
“Jihoon we aren't soulmates!” Soonyoung says and something in Jihoon’s heart cracks, “I have a soulmate out there and you-” He stops mid-sentence as if collecting his thought, “Jihoon, god you make me feel so many things,” He takes a sharp inhale,
“Things that I don't think I should be feeling with anyone but my soulmate. But that can't be cause I haven't met my soulmate yet and you- you already have your colors.” He says, tears now freely falling, “I just don't think it's fair to my soulmate for me to be feeling these things for someone that isn't them.”
Jihoon is torn from feeling frustrated, mad, and hurt. This was a mess, why didn't he just tell Soonyoung.
"What if I am your soulmate?" Jihoon tries to hash out. The timing to tell Soonyoung was horrible, but now or never right?
"Jihoon you know that can’t be, cause you aren't," Soonyoung says words dripping with honestly, as if he was laying out his bleeding heart to Jihoon, "as much as a part of me wants you to be, I know it can never be cause I have a soulmate out there and it's not fair to them."
Jihoon wants to scream, to yell.
Why did he even tell Soonyoung that made-up story? He really wanted to punch himself because it seemed the only thing holding Soonyoung back from believing Jihoom was Jihoon himself.
Jihoon can't find a way to convince Soonyoung otherwise, "So what, you just don't want to be friends anymore? Because I like you and you clearly like me but because I'm not your soulmate we can't be together?” he says gulping as he meets Soonyoungs eyes. He was hoping that maybe, just maybe, Soonyoung would've let go of soulmates and just choose Jihoon regardless.
“Don't say it like that,” he says quietly.
“But that's how this is going, isn’t it?” Jihoon asks rhetorically. It becomes a standstill from there. Unlike the silence before this was tense, a knife wouldn't be able to cut the tension in the air.
It’s Soonyoung who breaks the silence, “Look jihoon you're one of the best friends” he sighs out, “I don't want to lose you like this, I just think some space between us will do us better. I need space. Just for a while until this feeling goes away and we can be friends again.” The whole time he avoids Jihoon’s gaze.
Jihoon stands there looking at Soonyoung. The other looks so torn between running away and staying to finish the conversation. Jihoon is equally torn, it hurts to see Soonyoung in so much sadness and regret, but at the same time, he wants to yell and scream.
In the end, he decides Soonyoung needed space to think, they weren’t ready for the conversation and maybe Jihoon forced it too early. So he nods, “Fine yeah, I'll give you space. Have a good break.” He doesn’t even let Soonyoung say anything else before walking away.
He didn’t want to come off as cold or bitter, but he wasn’t going to let Soonyoung see him cry. He felt like shit as if he went through a breakup and truthfully he did. His heart clenches even though he feels as if that part of him was ripped out and torn from him the moment he walked out of that practice room.
The term ends shortly. Quietly.
Jihoon holds his promise and stays away from Soonyoung, he didn't even bother telling him that he wouldn't be in Seoul for the break. He's already got small luggage packed for the few weeks he’ll stay with his parents, and he plans to leave the day after the term ends.
Wonwoo sees him off, surprisingly. Jihoon had thought Wonwoo would've been mad that he had hurt Soonyoung. But the other wasn’t he had already told Jihoon a quick I told you so and even if Soonyoung was his best friend, Jihoon was his friend too, he understands the situation and knows Jihoon already knows his mistakes.
“This space will be good, he’ll come around eventually,” Wonwoo says as they wait at the train station for Jihoon’s train to busan to arrive, “He just needs time to get his head out of his soulmate obsessed ass,” he jokes.
Jihoon finds it in himself to give a small chuckle at the thought, “I really hope he doesn't,” he sighs.
“Sorry, he can be a real idiot sometimes, if he weren't so obsessed with the thought of ended up with his soulmate, he'd probably use his little brain power to connect that you two are soulmates,”
“I was kind of hoping that he'd just choose me regardless of soulmates,” Jihoon shrugs, looking at the ground, “As beautiful as soulmates and having someone meant to be yours sounds, I think natural love is more poetic.”
Jihoon naturally inclined to Soonyoung, no matter how much he tried to resist in the beginning, and he'd like to think Soonyoung had felt it mutually too.
“And some small part of me still thinks that maybe we really weren’t meant to be, that Soonyoung actually has another soulmate that isn't me,” he says slumping down. He really tried his best not to think of that as a possibility.
“You know I used to think Soulmates were a sham,” Wonwoo says, Jihoon turns his attention to him raising an eyebrow, “That soulmates were psychologically tricked into liking each other only because they believed that getting your color meant love because that society norms had built.”
“But then I met Jun,” He says with a fond smile and a light flush on his cheeks, “and I learned that soulmates were less of how you get colors but more of a unique connection between you and your soulmate.
That somehow your soulmate is able to understand you in a way others simply can't fathom, that everything just clicks and feels right with them, that you can't help but fall in love with the person who can understand you most,
and it's true not all soulmates have to be in romantic relationships, some stay platonic, and some don't work out, but the constant is that you two will always understand each other in a way no one else can.
You and Soonyoung had that connection, I’m sure you felt it, and Soonyoung felt it deep down, one day he’ll realize it,” Wonwoo says gently, voice filled with reassurance and he gives a tight squeeze on Jihoon’s shoulder.
“Thank’s Wonwoo,” Jihoon says because the words do raise his spirits and help clear his head. Wonwoo just nods and smiles and soon Jihoon’s train arrives.
Jihoon decides to use this short break to just lay low and relax. He tries his best to keep his mind off of Soonyoung and his complicated soulmate bond. It isn’t too difficult as his family showers him with affection and keeps him busy. The moment he steps foot into his childhood home his mother nags him about looking too skinny and his father goes into his own questions about how school was. His youngest brother Chan rushes to him to show him a new dance he had learned and his other brother Seokmin tries to drag him away to show him his new guitar.
Seungcheol comes over and teases Jihoon and tousles him around as well.
His family undoubtedly noticed his mood and the fact that he could now see color, but thankfully they don’t question it that much. They seem to guess that it was still a touchy subject and they respected his boundaries.
Through the days he stays busy either by helping his dad at the record shop, doing small chores for his mother, or amusing his brothers and Seungcheol. It’s nice to be home, to get his mind off of things, but he can’t help and itch to try and contact Soonyoung. To see if the other was doing good. But he had to stop himself. He had agreed to the distance, he'd wait till Soonyoung was ready and the other had yet to talk to Jihoon.
“So are we going to talk about how down you’ve been lately?” Seungcheol asks as they walk along the beachside. They had gone out for ice cream for old times sake and Jihoon should've known it was Seungcheol’s way of weaseling information out of Jihoon.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jihoon denies trying to walk faster, but Seungcheol and his naturally athletic-self keeps up with Jihoon pace.
“Sure Ji, I totally believe you,” he says rolling his eyes, instead of insisting further he goes in through another tactic, “So what’s their name?”
“What?” Jihoon asks, confused.
“Your soulmate, what’s your soulmate’s name?” Jihoon freezes and stands still, he’s about to open his mouth to once again deny but Seungcheol speaks up again, “And you can’t deny that you haven't met your soulmate, I know I can’t see color yet, but you definitely can and you couldn’t until you moved.”
Jihoon sighs and meets Seungcheol’s eyes. He knows the other is only looking out for him and he can’t avoid not telling his family or friends about the situation, he’d need to tell them eventually.
“We should sit it’s a long story,” he says in surrender. They find a nice spot and Jihoon goes in a spew of how he met Soonyoung, how he initially thought the bond was unrequited and tried to avoid him. And how that was proven impossible with the way he kept getting involved with Soonyoung.
He explains to Seungcheol about Soonyoung’s color blindness, and how the bond wasn't actually unrequited. He tells bitterly about their fall out and his frustrations with himself and with Soonyoung.
In the end, it feels good to let it all out after weeks of keeping it in to distract himself. But a part of Jihoon still feels hurt and bitter about everything.
Seungcheol stays quiet during Jihoon’s recalling, listening attentively as the other rants on. It’s not until Jihoon finishes does he speak, “I think he’ll come around eventually, he’d be a real idiot otherwise,” he jokes. Jihoon laughs bitterly at it.
“Listen, I really have no idea what to say, but what I can say is that he’s really missing out if he can’t realize that you two have a connection, so maybe this break will do you good and allow him to think over everything and realize that the soulmate he’s looking for is in front of him,”
Jihoon smiles at the simple reasoning, and truly he just needed to let his feelings out. It felt good to have it out there and hopefully Soonyoung would realize it soon.
The break goes as quickly as it came and soon enough Jihoon finds himself being sent off by his family and back to Seoul. However this time Seungcheol makes the trip with him.
It was a surprise to Jihoon but apparently, Seungcheol was preparing to transfer to his university in the upcoming year once he finished his associates in Busan. He had wanted to go apartment hunting before he did so.
Jihoon is glad to have another friend in Seoul, although he loved the new friendships he had made, it felt nice knowing someone he was familiar with was in the city with him.
So on the first day back, he shows Seungcheol around the campus. Classes haven't started yet so they take their time. He shows him the different facilities and buildings. Eventually, they stop at the student cafe to grab something to eat.
As they eat Jihoon gets a few crumbs on his shirt and on his mouth, which activates Seungcheols dad mode. The other tries to wipe off the mess on Jihoon’s mouth much to the others' protest. And as Seungcheol wipes off his mouth like Jihoon's his 5-year-old son - “You know at this point I practically raised you” “Seungcheol you're a year older than me” - someone interrupts.
“Jihoon?”
They turned their attention to the voice and low and behold standing in front of them was Soonyoung, hair now dyed a fresh mint green. The taller stand their frozen looking at the two, but his mood seems unreadable
“Soonyoung,” Jihoon freezes entirely because although he sees Seungcheol’s actions as annoying and brother-like, on the outside it might be taken in a romantic context. Seungcheol seems to notice the tension so he coughs gently to snap the two out of him.
Jihoon mind scrambles a bit and he awkwardly coughs out, “Erm Seungcheol this is Soonyoung, Soonyoung this is Seungcheol,”
They both nod and wave and it gets quiet again. Seungcheol, that traitor, excuses himself to use the bathroom leaving Jihoon alone with Soonyoung.
"You two seem really close," Soonyoung says quietly, awkwardly rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. His shoulders are tense as he keeps his hands in the pockets of his hood
"Yeah we're childhood friends, he's like a brother to me" Jihoon really wants to emphasize and clear up that Seungcheol was only a brother to him. Soonyoung seems to relax.
"How was your break?” Soonyoung then asks. Jihoon cringes, they never really did small talk like this. Or at least their small talk wasn't always this awkward.
“Okay, I guess,” He says avoiding the other gaze, “You?”
“Good,” he shrugs.
It gets quiet between them as it's one of their most awkward and tense convos. It's hardly ever like this between the two of them, and when it was quiet it was always comforting. Finally, Soonyoung sighs, not being one to take the silence
“I didn't know you went back to your hometown,” he starts
“Oh that's my fault I didn't tell you,” he shrugs, “well more like I didn't get a chance to tell you,” He doesn't mean to come off as petty with his comment, but he can't help shade Soonyoung on how he was ignoring him.
Soonyoung winces, catching “haha yeah I Guess that's my fault,” he says awkwardly.
It gets quiet between them once again, so suffocatingly so. Jihoon really doesn't know what to say next, but thankfully Soonyoung breaks the silence for them.
“Listen Ji I’m really sorry about ignoring you and for blowing up at you-
“Soon it's okay,” Jihoon says cutting him off, “I understand, I respect that, '' he says trying to smile reassuringly. He doesn't need Soonyoung’s apology. The other doesn't know that they are actually soulmates and Jihoon can't blame him because he didn't tell him. it was his own fault, not Soonyoung’s.
And despite his reassurance Soonyoung still looks guilty, “I was going to apologize sooner, I went to your apartment and everything but then your neighbor said you went back to Busan, and I didn't want to do it over text so, yeah” he says rapidly.
“Soonyoung it's okay I promise, I forgive you, the space was good, it let me think,” Jihoon says trying to calm the other and it seems to work.
The other seems to believe Jihoon as he slowly breathes out and relaxes
“Soonyoung it's no big deal, I can handle rejection,” he says trying to joke to make the situation more light-hearted. Soonyoung huffs out an awkward laugh.
“So friends?” he asks, voice hopeful, Jihoon can't help but be endeared with the way his eyes shine. So he smiles,
“No you broke my heart,” Jihoon says deadpanning. Soonyoung's face falls in terror and Jihoon burst out in loud laughter, “Soonyoung I'm joking,” He says on the verge of tears.
Soonyoung takes a sharp inhale as he tries to collect his thoughts, but smiles and laughs as well. As Jihoon's laughter finally dies down he opens his mouth to say more.
“You're one of my best friends, believe it or not, jihoon says quietly, “of course I'd still want to be friends.”
Soonyoung smiles in relief, “is it too much to ask for a hug?”
Jihoon rolls his eyes, usually the other didn't ask and just went for it even if Jihoon would try to shove him away afterward. It is as if Soonyoung still believes that they should still have some space between them. Jihoon decides to push that problem to a different day. For now, he'll be happy that at least they're talking, so he brings his arms up and Soonyoung doesn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Jihoon, snuggling his head into Jihoon’s shoulder, practically curving into him.
Jihoon not any better, wrapping his arms around the other and taking a sharp inhale of Soonyoung’s cologne. He doesn't bother being embarrassed that they were in public, he never realized how much he had missed this.
“I missed you,” Soonyoung whispers quietly near Jihoon’s ear and it sends shivers down his spine.
“Me too,”
The embrace feels too intimate for it just to be two friends making up, but neither brings it up. They smile as they break apart, and yet they still hold each other close. Jihoon can't help but look up to Soonyoung. They're almost as close as they were the night when they almost kissed. It shocks him so much that he pulls back flustered.
“I wonder where Seungcheol went,” Jihoon says to hide his flush, and Soonyoung shrugs, “want me to help you look for him?”
“Are you busy?”
“Not really,”
“Sure,” he says, trying to hide his giddiness.
They don't go too far to find the other because they find him talking to Jeonghan, as they approach the two they notice that the pair have a sparkle in their eye.
“Hey, do you think?” Soonyoung asks as they come closer
“Maybe,” Jihoon says intrigued,
As the two approaches, Seungcheol does a double-take on Soonyoung’s hair, “Wow that is a bright color,”
“Wow Wonwoo wasn't wrong, your hair is annoyingly bright,” Jeonghan laughs out and it's enough to confirm both Jihoon and Soonyoung’s suspicions
Jeonghan and Seungcheol got their colors meaning they were soulmates. Jihoon hasn't seen Seungcheol look so love-struck or this happy in a while.
They give a small congratulations to the new pair, who bashfully take it, “I was just looking for you guys,” Jeonghan says.
“A friend of mine is throwing a party to kick off the term, so I'm spreading the word!” He says cheerfully, “Seungcheol can come too if he wants,” He says obviously wanting the other to come.
Jihoon personally isn't one to party, but he knows Seungcheol will beg him to go so he can have an excuse to talk to Jeonghan more.
“Sure we’ll come just text me the details,” he says nonchalantly.
The party turns out to be the next day. When he and Seungcheol pull it up in full swing. There are people drinking in red solo cups in the front of the lawn, a few are off to the side playing beer pong. There's an array of chips and bottles and cans of alcohol in the kitchen and fridge. It paints the picture of any stereotypical college party with barely young adults getting plastered without a care in the world
It takes a while for Jihoon to find people he’s familiar with, he spots Wonwoo and Junhui in the kitchen and he quickly introduces them to Seungcheol. The elder is quickly swept away by Jeonghan leaving Jihoon with the others.
“Have you guys seen Soonyoung?” Jihoon asks the other had said he’d attend as well and he had figured that he would be with Wonwoo and Junhui but his mint hair was nowhere to be found.
“You two made up?” Wonwoo asks hopeful.
“Kind of,” Jihoon shrugs, because technically they did, just not in the way Wonwoo probably hoped, “i didn't get a chance to tell him yet,” He says quietly
“You should soon!” Jun encourages, “I told Jun if you don't mind,” Wonwoo says quickly
Jihoon smiles reassuringly, “it's okay people will find out eventually.”
“Hopeful one of them includes Soonyoung,” Wonwoo jokes. Jihoon snorts.
They stay in the kitchen for a while since it wasn't as loud as other parts of the house or littered with many people.
Jihoon doesn't really drink, personally, he doesn't like the taste of alcohol and he was also a lightweight, so he keeps the drinking to the bare minimum of one cup of beer. It's enough to feel buzzed but not tipsy or near drunk.
Eventually, he finds Soonyoung, well more like Soonyoung finds them. Upon his arrival to the kitchen, it's apparent that Soonyoung was fairly drunk with the way his eyes were unfocused and he was swaying back and forth.
And apparently drunk Soonyoung is a clingy Soonyoung, evident in the way his hands find a way to never leave Jihoon. As his hands slowly find a way to wrap around his shoulder and escalate until he's practically hugging Jihoon from behind and burying his face into Jihoon’s neck. Jihoon can feel his whole face flush red and it's not because he's drinking.
“Jihoonie has anyone told you you smell really good,” he whines as he rubs into Jihoon like a cat.
Wonwoo and Junhui excuse themselves to give them privacy shooting teasing smiles. It causes Jihoon to flare up more. As soon as their friends are away he turns in Soonyoung’s arms and tries to push the other away.
The best he can do is have Soonyoung’s face away from his neck but his hands still rest near his hips.
“Soonyoung how much did you drink?” He asks exasperated
The older laughs and has a stupid grin on his face, “Lost count,” he giggles out.
Jihoon sighs, “Soonyoung that's not funny,” he pouts, “Drink some water, sit down,” he says sternly.
Soonyoung has the audacity to pout, “Noooo I wanna dance with Jihoonie, dance with me!” he says loudly, trying to pull the other closer
Jihoon shakes his head, if he weren’t practically sober he would've agreed, but he'd rather not have a good part of the school see him dance with a drunk Soonyoung tonight.
“No, go dance by yourself,”
“But I only wanna dance with you,” he slurs out and Jihoon can feel his ears burning.
A possessive part of him is giddy that Soonyoung is only focusing his attention on Jihoon. He doesn't know how he'd react if he saw Soonyoung dancing with other boys or girls.
“Y’know what you need?” Soonyoung slurs out, “A drink!” he says like he's a world genius, letting go of Jihoon to grab his cup. Before he even has time to pour an atrocious amount of alcohol into it Jihoon grabs him.
“Oh nono, not on my watch,” He says sternly. Turning Soonyoung around quickly.
This seems like a mistake because Soonyoung looks a little green for a second, thankfully he doesn't puke. But it's Jihoon sign that maybe it's time to cut Soonyoung off and take him home for the night.
“C’mon I’m taking you home,” He says grabbing the other hand to drag him around the house.
“No I don't wanna!” he whines but despite it, he follows Jihoon obediently.
“Trust me you'll that me in the morning,” He says trying to look for Seungcheol. He didn't just want to leave the other behind.
However, when he finds Seungcheol he can clearly see him being shoved into the wall by Jeonghan with their faces practically connected. And hed really rather die than break them apart, so he decides that Seungcheol won't mind staying behind.
He brings Soonyoung outside and they make the short walk to Jihoon’s apartment. It was closer than the dorm and the walk would sober up Soonyoung. As they walk, Soonyoung lets go of Jihoon's hand in favor of leaning against Jihoon and babbles nonsense that Jihoon can half understand.
They arrive at the apartment quickly and Jihoon pushes Soonyoung to sit on the bed. Luckily the other obliges, giggling as he lays back. Jihoon tries his best to remove the other shirt but Soonyoung stops him.
“Noooo Jihoonie that's naughty,” He says smirking. Jihoon freezes and flushes pushing him away.
“Then change yourself,” He says walking to his closet grabbing a set of Soonyoung’s clothes that he leaves at Jihoon's place from all the times he's stayed over. He throws them over and tries to avoid eye contact as Soonyoung takes off his shirt and jeans. Jihoon uses this chance to grab his own set of sleeping clothes and change in the bathroom himself.
But as he exits the room Soonyoung whines out, “No don't leave me!”
“I’m going to change I'll be right back,” he says and it seems to appease the other as he doesn't say anything else as Jihoon leaves. He quickly changes and before he goes back into his room he makes sure to get a glass of water.
“Here drink this,” he says passing the cup to Soonyoung, and thankfully the taller take big gulps of it. After he's done with the glass he pushes Soonyoung to lay down on the bed comfortably. He'll let Soonyoung take the bed tonight he’ll just sleep on the floor.
However Soonyoung doesn't even let Jihoon get the chance to walk away as he grabs his hand, “Sleep here with me,” he whines and pouts out, “I miss you,”
At this point Jihoon's too tired to try and fight it, he's also pretty weak for the other so begrudgingly he lays down next to the other, facing away from him.
Soonyoung has a wider grin on his face as he turns to pull Jihoon closer to himself, Jihoon doesn't dare to turn around, but Soonyoung doesn't mind as he nuzzles his head into the back of Jihoon's neck as he starts babbling. The position wasn't the thing that was making Jihoon flush however, it was the things Soonyoung was saying.
“Hoonie you’re so so so pretty you know? the prettiest out there! you're like a fairy!” god he wanted to turn and just clamp Soonyoung mouth shut.
“I wish you were my soulmate, I'll be lucky because you'd be the prettiest!” Jihoon tenses, “That night when we fought I wanted to kiss you and never stop, but I couldn't and that isn't fair,” he says and Jihoon doesn't need to look to see that the other was pouting. “I wish my soulmate didn't exist so I could be with you,”
The comment is the last straw for Jihoon as he finally turns to face Soonyoung. The other looks practically glassy-eyed as he stares into Jihoon
“Soonyoung you idiot I am your soulmate.” he huffs out
“I wish you were!” he pouts
Jihoon sighs, “you're too drunk to understand and you probably won't remember this but I can your soulmate you idiot, I lied when I said I was born with my colors, I got my colors when I met you,” he says quietly.
He knows it's cowardly to tell a drunk soonyoung but he promises he'll tell him soon. When he's sober to understand.
For now, Soonyoung looks like he's going to cry, “Really?” he asks
“Yes you idiot,” but before Jihoon can even finish his sentence he's cut off by Soonyoung pressing his lips onto his own.
He makes a noise of surprise but it quickly wears off as he closes his eyes and kisses back, moving his lips softly. He's been wanting to do this for so long and the feeling of it felt good and addicted. It's sloppy from a mix of them not knowing what they're doing and Soonyoung being drunk. But eventually, they found a good rhythm. It starts off so innocent until Soonyoung starts licking against Jihoon’s lips and pushes the younger into the mattress and he settles on top of Jihoon. Legs settle between Jihoon's and arms cage the other in.
It's enough to snap Jihoon back to reality, this was so wrong because Soonyoung was drunk out of his mind and Jihoon was sober. This was taking advantage of Soonyoung, so as right and good as the kiss feels he pushes the other away. The other whines at the connection being broken but Jihoon knows that this will stop them from doing something they'd regret.
“Soonyoung we shouldn't,” he's about to go on a full rant on why it was wrong until he hears soft snores. He turns to the other practically knocked out. Of course, the idiot fell asleep. Jihoon sighs deeply and decides to just go to sleep too. This will be something he can tackle in the morning
When he wakes up the bed is empty. He checks the time and sees that it's only 10:30 and thankfully he didn't have a morning lecture that day. He slowly gets up and drags himself to the bathroom to freshen up before walking into the Kitchen.
He's half surprised to find Soonyoung making coffee, “Morning,” he mumbles out grabbing a bowl to make cereal.
“Hey I think we need to talk,” Soonyoungs says, his tone is very serious.
Jihoon freezes briefly as he pours cereal into the bowl, “About what?” he asks, he doesn't turn in order to avoid facing Soonyoung.
“I kissed you last night.” Jihoon audibly gulps
“Oh, so you remembered that,” he says putting down the cereal box to finally turn to the taller. His face is unreadable.
“I know I was plastered last night, but I do tend to remember most things, though somethings are splotchy,” he says.
Jihoon sighs leaning back against the counter, gripping the sides of it, “listen I'm sorry I kinda took advantage but I did push you away.” he says but Soonyoung shakes his head.
“I know Ji but that's not what I want to focus on, I want to talk about what you said before that.”
“oh,” Jihoon says quietly, so that means Soonyoung had remembered Jihoon telling him that he lied about his colors.
“What do you mean you lied?” Soonyoung asks, eyes pleading.
Jihoon bites his lips, well, it's now or never right? So he takes a shaky inhale.
“That day we met, that's the day I got my colors, I wasn't born with them as I told you I was.”
“But why did you lie-”
“I’m getting there, just-” he sighs, putting his hands up, “let me explain,”
Soonyoung bites his lips and nods allowing Jihoon to continue.
“So like I said I got my colors the moment I made eye contact with you and I was so shocked to see colors that I didn't move out of the way.” he laughs out recalling that day.
He pauses to see Soonyoungs's reaction. The other looks like he's waiting expectantly.
“and at the time I didn't know that you were color blind so I had thought it was an unrequited bond, and then I met wonwoo and saw how close you two were and thought you were soulmates.
So when you guys found out I saw colors, I panicked and just said I was born with my colors cause I knew I couldn't explain who my soulmate was. and then I found out you were colorblind.” he says softly
“Okay,” Soonyoung says shakingly, “but why didn't you tell me afterward?” he says almost desperate.
“Sooyoung I wanted to,” He says pathetically. I was going to tell you I swear, but I was scared,” he says, avoiding the other's eyes.
Soonyoung doesn't take it and goes up to Jihoon, putting a hand on his shoulder to encourage the other to look up, “Scared of what Ji? You knew I would accept anyone who comes out and says they are my soulmates.”
“That's what I was scared of Soonyoung.” He says a bit frustrated, “What if you only started to like me because of the knowledge of being soulmates and not because of me. What if it is an unrequited bond and someone comes along saying that they're your soulmate as well.” he says voicing his insecurities.
“I wanted our connection to be somewhat genuine without the influence of a soulmate bond.”
Soonyoung stays quiet, a complete loss of words, so Jihoon continues, “And I know what if I only like you because of the bond but that couldn't be because I tried my best to avoid you and yet here I am stupidly in love with you because you were so charismatic and easy to talk to. I started looking forward to our outings even though I liked staying in. I tried so hard in the beginning not to like you and I still ended up falling.”
He huffs out, he can feel the tears welling up in his eyes but he refuses to let them fall. But before he could continue spilling his heart out, Soonyoung speaks.
“Ji, I’m going to be honest. I always thought your soulmate was the best suit for you.” He starts off shakingly, “I used to dream about meeting them and imagine how they would look like, and then one day, it was the image of you filling those dreams,” he gulps
“Slowly I started thinking that if I end up never meeting my soulmate I wouldn't mind ending up with someone else as long as it was you, and then it turned into me thinking that maybe one day if I do meet my soulmate, I would choose you over them,” Jihoon can’t believe the words coming from his mouth.
“I started to feel guilty because I thought it was unfair because I started wishing that you were my soulmate,” Soonyoungs eyes start to get glossy as he holds back his own tears, “it scared me, So I pulled away from you but the moment I did I was filled with more regret and sadness than I was already feeling.”
Soonyoung's voice sounds raw and honest and Jihoon can feel his own tears threaten to fall because of it.
“When you were away I had my yearly checkup on my eyes, and the doctors noticed something different. My eyes were producing chemicals that are supposed to activate the color cones that they only observed in people who already met their soulmates.”
‘oh,’ Jihoon thinks seeing where this was going.
“I was confused because no one came forward and told me they were my soulmate and you'd think I'd notice if someone suddenly saw colors. I tried to wrap my brain around everyone I met in a year but then my brain landed on you,” he takes a deep breath, “I dismissed it because I thought it was wishful thinking.
and now I just really want to slap myself either because I’m so stupid that I didn't realize sooner or to test if this is just a dream because this is too good to be true, I can't decide,” he laughs out to himself, as he tries to dry his tears.
Jihoon shakes his head and goes forward to Soonyoung.
Slowly he reaches forward to the other, gently he places one hand on the other shoulder, and with the other, he punches hard on Soonyoung’s shoulder.
The other yelps, and before he can say anything else Jihoon pulls him down by the shirt for a kiss. Soonyoung makes a surprised noise and freezes up against the other. Jihoon, unsatisfied with how the other wasn't responding, moves his lips in hopes to get a reaction and it seems to spark Soonyoung back to life because he kisses back eagerly.
It's less messy from the one last night but their cheeks are wet from crying, however, at the moment it feels perfect. He can feel Soonyoung circling his arms around Jihoon's waist to pull him closer and Jihoon lets go of soonyoung shirts in favor of wrapping his arms around Soonyoungs neck to push him closer.
Jihoon feeling bold swipes his tongue again Soonyoung plumps lips and the other gladly opens and allows the other to further explore his mouth. Jihoon sighs in bliss and shortly separates for air, but their faces stay close together as their noses brush.
"This is not a dream, and yes you are an idiot,” Jihoon laughs as he pecks Soonyoung the lips, “if you weren't freaking out about giving me a concussion then you would've noticed I was staring at your bright fucking hair."
Soonyoung pouts, “Hey I dyed it so it would be the first thing my soulmate noticed, and it worked.”
“Yeah, but wasn't it also so you'd notice that your soulmate can see color?” Jihoon teases, “It was a smart idea, too bad your stupid nullified it.”
“Hey,” he whines, pouting like a big baby
Jihoon laughs, “I'm just teasing
Soonyoung smiles knowingly and pulls Jihoon close, “So does that mean I don't need to feel guilty about wanting to kiss you and hold your hand and wanting you to be my boyfriend?”
“Hmmm I’ll think about it, I don't know if I'd want to be boyfriends with an idiot,”
“Jihooon,”
Jihoon smiles, dimples popping out, and leans up to steal another long kiss which soonyoung gladly receives.
Jihoon sighs blissfully before pulling away, “Of course I want to be your boyfriend, I've been waiting for months I'm not going to throw that away now, not when you finally stopped being an idiot,” he teases
“I don't know if I still want to be your boyfriend if you're just going to be mean and call me an idiot,” Despite his words, Soonyoung leans forward to brush their noses together so that their lips are just about hovering over each other.
“too late, you're my idiot now, no take-backs,” he says leaning up to connect their lips, the feeling was addictive and he wasn't lying; he's been wanting to do this for months.
Soonyoung laughs and smiles widely into the kiss, making the miss mostly teeth.
“Stop smiling, I'm trying to make out with you,” Jihoon says even though he's smiling just as brightly
“I can't help it to be so happy,” he says quietly, stealing pecks around Jihoon's face.
Jihoon blushes, he had fully expected Soonyoung to be this affectionate, but getting it as a reality was something entirely different. It felt warm and right. It makes this whole painful process worth it for him as he kisses Soonyoung once again in their embrace.
“I’m happy too,” he whispers between kisses
The universe truly doesn't make any mistake. They both could feel it, that this was only fate that they'd end up together in the end. So they hold each other closely with no intention of letting go.