Chapter Text
"Rejoice with Jerusalem, and be glad for her, all you who love her; rejoice with her in joy, all you who mourn over her; that you may nurse and be satisfied from her consoling breast; that you may drink deeply with delight from her glorious abundance.” For thus says the Lord: “Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river, and the glory of the nations like an overflowing stream; and you shall nurse, you shall be carried upon her hip, and bounced upon her knees. As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem."
-Isaiah 66:10-13
It is Rey's mother who tells her, one Sunday after church, that Leader Kylo would like to see her.
"He has big plans for you, Rey," she says excitedly. "Isn't it wonderful?"
And so Rey finds herself before Leader Kylo's office the following Tuesday afternoon, skipping her home school lessons. She smooths her long skirt nervously, then raises her hand to knock on his door.
It opens after a brief pause. Leader Kylo smiles down at her from his impressive height.
"Ah, come in, Rey," he says warmly, gesturing her inside.
"Thank you, Leader Kylo," she says shyly, scurrying through the open door.
They sit across from each other at Leader Kylo's expansive desk, the glossy mahogany surface reflecting Rey's timid expression back at her.
"My mother said you wished to see me..." she says, twisting her fingers together in her lap.
"I did," Kylo smiles at her again, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He reaches across the desk, his hand open and plaintive; Rey wrests her own hand free to place on top of his. It's warm and soft, and when he closes his fingers around her it engulfs her fist almost completely. "I believe the Lord has a plan for you, Rey."
"Really?" she asks, demure but eager. She wants to answer the call, whatever it is.
"Mm-hmm," he says, still smiling. "I believe He calls you to help me, and the other men in the Inner Circle, as a helpmeet. You will help us to better serve Him. Do you think you could do that?"
"Yes," says Rey, though she's a little confused; usually women are helpmeets to their husbands. Leader Kylo seems to notice her hesitation.
"It is a great honor, Rey," he says, a touch of reproval to his tone. "You would be helpmeet to the Church."
"Yes, I can do that," Rey says, with more conviction. She doesn't want him to think she is unwilling to serve.
"Good," Leader Kylo smiles at her again, and it is like basking in sunlight. "Your mother said you were pure. Is that true?"
"Yes," Rey says. "Of course."
Leader Kylo fixes her with an assessing look. "Are you sure, Rey?"
Rey feels her face flame. Does he not believe her? "Yes, Leader Kylo. I promise you I'm pure."
He purses his lips. "I must check for myself, Rey, do you understand? It is of utmost importance to the position."
"I understand," Rey says hurriedly.
"Good," he says again, his smile back on his face. "We'll do it now, it'll be quick."
Rey nods.
"Remove your skirt, please, and lie down on the couch."
Oh. Rey hadn't thought through what he meant. She glances up at him, but he only gives her a stern look. "Stay sweet, Rey."
She nods again, and stands to unhook the back clasp of her skirt, drawing down the zipper so she can step out of it. She folds it carefully and leaves it on the chair she was just sitting on.
"Lie down now," he says, standing from his own chair and moving around the desk toward her. She makes her way to the couch and lies back against a throw pillow on one end. Her thighs erupt in goosebumps.
Leader Kylo kneels at the other end of the couch and places his large hands on her hip bones.
"I'm going to take these off," he tells her, drawing her panties down. "Open up for me, Rey."
She parts her legs, squeezing her eyes shut. This is so embarrassing. No one's ever seen her… down there. It's a dirty place, for causing men to sin.
Rey feels a warm finger at her folds. She bites back a whimper when it pushes into her flesh; she's dry and it hurts.
The finger leaves her and she hears something wet, like saliva, and then it's back, gliding a bit better now, pushing further into her than before.
"I can feel it," he murmurs to her, almost lovingly. "I can feel your chastity, sweet girl."
But he doesn't pull his finger out, now that he's seen that she was telling the truth. He presses in again, in short little thrusts. Perhaps he's looking for something else?
Rey feels something warm and wet land on the outside of her entrance, and another finger which drags through it and starts to rub. It's– oh–
"Do you feel that?" Leader Kylo whispers to her. "That's the Holy Spirit moving through you, Little One. Give yourself to it."
The finger inside her moves deeper and faster. It beckons within her, like the Holy Spirit really is inviting her to join it, to become one with the Heavens, to transcend her body on Earth. Her back arches from the couch and a startled scream erupts from her lips. She sees stars.
When she opens her eyes Leader Kylo is sucking his fingers clean.
"You did well, sweet girl," he tells her, caressing her still-splayed thigh. "You are perfect. You will serve the Lord beautifully."
She nods and pulls her skirt back on, dazed and confused. Leader Kylo does not return her underwear.
"I'd like to see you every afternoon," he tells her, his tone suddenly businesslike. "We'll begin the real work tomorrow."
Rey leaves his office on colt-like legs, shaky and apprehensive.
Her mother wishes to know what Leader Kylo has planned for her, but Rey doesn't truly know what to tell her, and so only says that she is to be helpmeet to the Church, that it is a position of great honor.
"I always knew you'd be one of God's chosen, Rey" her mother says. "But do not be tempted by the sin of Pride."
Rey murmurs that she will not, and truthfully she does not think she is in danger of that. She wonders if she is in danger of something else.
The next day has her at Leader Kylo's office door again at the same time, trying to swallow down her nerves. Leader Kylo wouldn't hurt her. He cares for her. He is a good Christian.
"Ah, Rey," he says when he opens the door, smiling at her the way he did yesterday. "Please come in."
He leads her to the couch right away today, and Rey wonders if he will have her channel the Holy Spirit again. But he shakes his head when her fingers move to the waistband of her skirt.
"You may leave that on today. Please remove your blouse instead."
Rey does as she's told, undoing each button, one at a time, until the white shirt gapes open to reveal her modest, nude-colored bra. Leader Kylo pushes the fabric off her shoulders, then reaches around her to undo the back clasp of the bra, pulling it away from her chest.
Rey fights the urge to cover herself. Her nipples pebble in the cool air, rosy pink and pointed atop her small breasts. She's not sure what he wants with them.
Leader Kylo is seemingly transfixed. He brings his big hands up to cover them, capturing her nipples between her fingers to squeeze.
"Have you heard of the Lactation Gospel, Rey?" he asks, kneading rhythmically while he speaks.
Rey shakes her head. "No, Leader Kylo."
"It is found in Isaiah 66. It says 'Rejoice with Jerusalem, and be glad for her, all you who love her; rejoice with her in joy, all you who mourn over her; that you may nurse and be satisfied from her consoling breast; that you may drink deeply with delight from her glorious abundance.'"
Rey nods, her eyes fluttering shut. The Holy Spirit moves within her, woken by his warm hands. When he pinches her nipple she sucks in a quick breath.
"The Lord speaks to me, Rey. He tells me of a need for a new Jerusalem. A source of abundance, to nourish the men of this Church, to help them in their service to Him. Do you see, Rey? You are to be that Jerusalem. A virgin, spilling forth with milk from her breast, to nurse, so that we may rejoice in your joy, bask in your love. We will drink deeply from you, and feel the Holy Spirit within."
"How–" Rey begins with a shaky breath, her eyes still closed. How can she nurse them? Her breasts are small, and do not produce milk. She doesn't have a child; her nipples have not become dark and engorged, like her mothers' do each time she has another baby.
"I will take it upon myself to guide you," he tells her in a low voice, his hands greedy and grasping, his tone heady with a hint of a growl. "I will help you to bring forth your milk, God willing, and when I do it will be a true miracle– a virgin, giving suck to the Church."
Rey nods, her eyelashes fluttering. She feels his breath on her neck before his plush lips trail across her skin, tracing down until he reaches a nipple, his hand lifting reluctantly to make way for his tongue. "I will start today, and continue until our miracle is revealed. I will bring forth your abundance."
His lips close around her nipple, and he gives a deep suck. The pressure is marvelous, insistent in its pleasure. Rey throws her head back and moans, her hand coming up to tangle in Leader Kylo's thick, dark hair, holding him to her breast.
He nudges her so she's laying back against the throw pillow again, as she was yesterday, and he stretches his body out and over her, settling on top of her so she can feel his full weight. He doesn't say any more, occupied as his mouth is in its task, and Rey slips into a sort of haze, feeling the Holy Spirit in her body and her breasts, not surging as it did when Leader Kylo had his fingers inside her, but pulsing and whorling, dancing her on the edge of some sort of precipice.
After a time which Rey cannot begin to measure, he switches nipples, taking care to continue massaging the abandoned breast with his large hand, the skin warm and slippery with his saliva.
She occupies herself with dragging her fingernails along his scalp, marveling in the softness of his hair. She tries to pray to God but finds her thoughts jumbled and nonsensical, and so she just tries to feel, tries to become one with the Spirit, tries to achieve the blistering pleasure of yesterday, which surely must have been the sign of something Divine.
Leader Kylo seems to want the same for her, for he pushes his free hand up under her skirt and pulls her underwear to the side to press a finger inside her again.
"I must massage your womb," he tells her, tonguing and nipping a little at her dug, pulling it taut, held carefully between his teeth. "This is the way."
Rey is slick and swollen where he explores her, and the Holy Spirit finds her quickly, held like a flame to her chest and her opening down below, and she thrashes and screams when it crashes down around her. Leader Kylo holds her down beneath him, kept in her place, as a woman should be, opening her wide for the Holy Spirit to plunder.
He allows her to sit up when it has receded from her, and she plucks her bra from the floor, easing it on over her tender breasts, pulling her blouse over her shoulders.
"The same time tomorrow then," he tells her. He prays over her before she goes. She seems him leaning over his desk, fiddling with something in his pants, before the door snaps shut behind her.
Rey demures when her mother asks how her meeting went. In truth, she is not sure. She's glad that Leader Kylo has found her holy, worthy of such attentions. She is not… displeased… by their activities, though surely so much pleasure is a sin?
"The Lord acts through Leader Kylo," she tells her mother instead. Her mother accepts this readily and is quickly distracted by the wail of one of the little ones. It's hard for her, Rey knows, now that Father is gone, not that he ever helped with child rearing. But the Church provides, and with Rey to help, her they will pull through.
Leader Kylo takes a whole minute to open the door the next day, and when he does greet Rey he is distracted.
"You may remove your blouse, sweet girl," he tells her, squinting at the laptop that sits on his desk. Rey's never used a laptop before, or anything electronic; only the Inner Circle is allowed.
She figures he likely means her bra as well, and so removes both garments, placing them neatly on the visitor's chair.
"The Lord has been speaking with me," Leader Kylo says, coming toward her from behind his desk. His gaze is drawn to her chest, and he bends to place kisses upon each of her nipples, and then a long kiss to her lips. "He is guiding me, so we may make this miracle happen. I will continue with my teaching and stimulation, but you must do your part as well. Do you understand?"
"Yes, Leader Kylo," Rey says. "What do I need to do?"
"I'll show you."
He guides her toward a mirror standing in the corner of the room away from his desk, standing at her back so they can see each other in the mirror. His big hands come up to cup her breasts, massaging and plucking as they had the day before.
"You must continue this stimulation, each morning when you wake up, and each night before you go to sleep. It is your communion with God; He will see your willingness to serve, and grant us this miracle. He will let down your milk."
The Holy Spirit has begun moving again within her, especially when he flicks at her nipples, but she watches closely in the mirror, watches how his hands rhythmically pull at her teats.
"Now you try," he tells her, and she replaces his hands with her own, doing her best to replicate his movement. She pinches at her nipples as he had, and her mouth drops open, a whine escaping from her throat.
"Good, good, that's good, Rey," he murmurs to her, placing a kiss to the side of her neck. Her hair is held in an intricate braid that hangs down her back, and he pushes this to the side so he can better access her skin with his tongue. He sucks at the skin behind her ear like he had sucked at her breast. "Please continue."
She pulls and plucks and pinches until her nipples are stiff and rosy. She can feel herself slicken between her legs.
Leader Kylo watches her in the mirror, his attention rapt.
"How does it feel, sweet girl?" he asks, his gaze never wavering from her flushed breast.
"It– it feels good, Leader Kylo," she pants.
"Do you feel the Holy Spirit?" he asks her. "Do you feel Him move through you?"
"Y–yes, Leader Kylo."
"Would you like to see what you look like when He takes you?"
"Y-yes–" Rey can barely form the words, but it doesn't seem to matter, for Leader Kylo has already rucked up her skirt, his finger finding her where she is wet and aching. It plunges inside her, his thumb rubbing frantically at the crest of her opening, and the Holy Spirit finds her like a bolt of lightning, striking her where she stands. Her legs buckle and only Leader Kylo's thick arm, wrapped tight around her torso, keeps her upright. She shrieks, her toes curling, her face enraptured. She sees white.
He maneuvers her to the couch where she slumps limply against the pillows. She feels him begin to suckle, and she falls to that hazy state, exhausted.
"Is such pleasure not a sin?" she breathes while he sucks. He pulls off of her with a pop, nuzzling between her breasts.
"You surrender yourself to the Spirit," he tells her, "not to the Flesh. It is not a sin."
They lay in repose for some time while he sucks, and then he allows her to right herself.
"Be wary, Rey," he warns her before she leaves. "Do not give into the Flesh when you attempt to commune with God. Touch your breasts, but nowhere else. I will know."
That night Rey closes herself in the bathroom and pulls off her nightshirt, so she stands bare before the mirror. She brings her hands to her chest, and starts to knead.
They fall into a rhythm, she and Leader Kylo, meeting for an hour or so every afternoon. He doesn't always help her achieve communion with the Holy Spirit, but Rey doesn't mind. It is comforting, laying back and letting him use his mouth on her, letting him draw forth her abundance. She likes to play with his hair while he suckles and sometimes he groans into her chest when she drags her fingernails across his scalp. She thinks that she likes the sound. She wonders if he ever achieves communion with the Holy Spirit too.
Each night and morning she brings her own hands to her breasts and pinches and massages until they're puffy and flushed, doing her best to mimic the feel of Leader Kylo's mouth while he sucks. In truth it isn't the same, and she misses the size of his hands, and the plushness of his lips, and the sounds of his suckling. She looks forward to their standing appointment, when she can bare herself to him and allow him to show her her purpose, allow him to bring her closer to God.
She watches him, enraptured, during his sermon on Sunday. He bangs his fist and shouts to the Heavens and invokes the wrath of God, and then he handles her so gently later that day, tucked away in his office, treating her like spun glass, suckling on her teat as if it provides manna from Heaven.
He hands out the Eucharist once a month and when he places it on her tongue she looks up at him with stars in her eyes, exalting in his presence from her place on her knees.
That afternoon Leader Kylo welcomes her as usual, and they settle on the couch.
"Do they feel tender today?" he asks her before he begins, and she shakes her head no. They feel like they always do, a little tight with anticipation but not particularly sensitive.
He settles his head at her chest and Rey closes her eyes, ready to fall into that hazy space where she feels she might pray to God with her heart and eyes clear, ask him for this miracle that means so much to Leader Kylo, to the Church.
But Leader Kylo pulls off her with a pop not more than ten minutes in.
"You took the Eucharist today," he says to her.
"Yes," she answers, bewildered. Was she not supposed to?
"You looked so penitent, when I put it on your tongue," he tells her. "So adoring. It made me happy to see, Rey."
"I'm glad," she answers.
"You are a good girl, Rey," he says, caressing her cheek with his hand. His other hand caresses her thigh, and she wonders if he'll let the Holy Spirit flow through her today, if he'll push his finger inside her most secret space. "I'd like to give you a special Eucharist, a most Holy Communion."
"If it pleases you, Leader Kylo, I will take it."
"It will please me," he tells her. "It will please me greatly."
He sits up, straddling her waist, and fumbles with the fly of his pants, pulling forth a– something. It's some sort of appendage, Rey thinks, almost like a shrunken arm.
"What is that?" she asks him, eyes wide.
To her surprise, Leader Kylo chuckles.
"Oh, my sweet girl," he says, caressing her cheek, letting his thumb linger at her lips. "My sweet, sweet Rey. It is your special Eucharist."
"I'm supposed to eat it?" she asks, unable to keep the note of skepticism out of her voice.
"Stay sweet, Rey," he warns her. "No, you will only need to lick. The Eucharist will spill forth. You will sup from my abundance."
Rey nods. It makes sense; if he is to sup from her abundance, she ought to sup from his.
He edges forward and presses the appendage against her lips. The skin is smooth and hot, almost feverish in his eagerness.
Rey parts her lips, pushing out her tongue so she may taste him as she tasted the dry little wafer earlier that day.
Leader Kylo groans, and it sounds like when she runs her fingers through his hair, like when he is particularly pleased with her, and it makes her glad. She licks a wide swipe across the strange, bulbous head.
"Do you like it, sweet girl?" he groans when she tongues around the little slit at the tip. "Do you like taking your Communion at the base of my manhood? Do you like supping from the source of my virility?"
He does not allow her to answer him, only presses the thing further past her lips, so she must widen her mouth to keep him on her tongue. A beat, and then she feels his hand reach back to ruck up her skirt, and before she can process he has his long finger pushing up inside her.
The Holy Spirit is quick and forceful today and Rey feels it course through her with unyielding fervor. She gasps around Leader Kylo's manhood and he takes the opportunity to push himself further toward her throat.
He grunts as he spills. She feels his abundance, hot and thick, on the very back of her tongue, and she can do nothing but swallow him down, her throat working and her mouth trying to accommodate the huge appendage. He pulls his finger from her and then there are two pushing inside her, twisting and shoving to make themselves room, and she feels the surge of the Holy Spirit consume her as she has just consumed Leader Kylo and she screams in her ecstasy and she hopes the Lord hears her.
He mouths blindly at her chest after, as they both try to catch their breaths. She feels him latch and closes her eyes and feels the dregs of the Spirit seep through her and is at peace.