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Every regular who survives the hidden floor leaves behind a copy of everything they currently are.
Khun didn’t think that was the greatest idea, since everything he’s ever been has involved lies, deceit, and manipulation. One version of himself had already done plenty of damage and made plenty of mistakes. He really didn’t need a second.
Khun was the one who proposed that they should revisit the hidden floor to get information from Hansung Yu’s data. The war with Jahad’s army has been dragging on painfully and the FUG wave controller had already lost his life years ago, taking too many secrets with him.
It was only a matter of time before someone else thought to use that floor as a way to gain information, and Khun wanted to get there first.
This was all true. He swore it really was. But if he was being honest with himself, Khun had a much more important reason for wanting to return to the hidden floor.
Bam’s data would be there.
Sure, Khun could talk to the real Bam any time, but there was a specific topic that he would never bring up.
Khun was in love with his best friend.
He wanted to know- no, he needed to know if his feelings were reciprocated. However, he didn’t want any of the complications that such a question would inevitably cause.
Khun had grown more and more afraid of losing Bam the higher they climbed. He was fighting with every fiber of his being to stay useful and not get left behind, and was only staying silent despite his heart ache because he didn’t want to burden Bam with his feelings. He was also terrified of the moment where he might finally tell Bam about how he felt, only to be rejected and destroy the friendship they’ve had all this time.
So Khun stayed silent. Why would he ever tell Bam how he felt when there were so many things that could go wrong and so much to lose? He was a bowl, made to forever hold these feelings and carefully collect them while making sure they never overflowed from the edges of their confines.
The hidden floor was a way to finally settle Khun’s heart so that he could go back to focussing on his strategies. Whatever the answer was, at least he’d finally be able to stop wondering.
Losing the memories of his previous visit to the hidden floor was a small price to pay. There was a note in his pocket that explained a few things that he should know, and he was sure he could relearn the rest when he got there.
*
Khun blinked.
He quickly realized that he was floating through the air with a giant mirrored scale in front of him. His own reflection stared back.
A bodiless voice spoke through the nothingness and Khun discovered that it was the scale who was speaking to him.
“I will now show you your past, and generate both the place where you need to go as well as your sworn enemy.”
With wide eyes taking in everything he possibly could, Khun’s brain worked to quickly catch up.
This must be the hidden floor. He knew he was here to accomplish specific goals but he wasn’t sure how he could possibly go about it yet. Always prepared, Khun knew the note would probably help explain a few things.
“It’s ready!” The scale sounded excited to be delivering such wonderful news. “If you want to find out what fate awaits you, then head inside!”
Khun internally rolled his eyes at it. Then, reaching into his pocket, Khun pulled out a folded piece of paper. He may not understand what it was saying any more, but he remembered enough about his mission to know that this was important.
Khun called out to the scale. “Before I go, I have a favor to ask.”
----------
Every regular who survives the hidden floor leaves behind a copy of everything they currently are.
The data of the Twenty-fifth Bam found it fitting that everything he was and everything the people outside this floor made him out to be didn't match up at all. He always knew he wasn’t a god, and he no longer possessed the bloody red thorn that was supposed to end the reign of an eternal king.
Staring up at the clouds above, he lay stretched out on the grass. Every single day has felt like a bonus or a glitch in the system of the entire tower itself. Here he was escaping his fate, his enemies, and his fears.
Here, he was just Bam.
It felt too good to be real. Well- it wasn’t real. He wasn’t real. But at least it felt like it.
A pair of sapphire blue eyes filled his vision. This was home. This was comfort. This was everything Bam could have ever asked for. It filled his heart with joy and left him floating endlessly among the data clouds above.
“Room for one more?” Khun’s data asked playfully as he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his lips.
Bam grinned at him. Of course there was room. This was an entire field at the edge of town near the starting zone. It could fit at least a hundred people. The reset had just happened, which meant that new regulars from the hell train would be joining them soon.
He noticed that one of Khun’s earrings was already missing. Some things just never change. They were planning to wait and see who came inside, as they usually did with each reset.
Khun stretched out on the grass beside him. Their shoulders touched and Bam moved one of his legs so that his foot could nudge Khun’s.
“I was starting to think you were going to be late,” Bam said teasingly.
With a grin, Khun replied, “And miss the only form of entertainment this place offers? I don’t think so.”
Bam reached for Khun’s hand and laced their fingers together. Then he brought their hands up to his face and pressed a kiss along Khun’s knuckles.
Together they stared up at the clouds and waited. The new regulars are usually summoned in the town so they’d start making their way over to them as soon as they heard the welcome party.
The wind picked up and Bam felt the cool breeze against his empty palm. The weight of Khun’s hand wasn’t there any more.
He turned to the side where Khun should be and found flecks of sunshine bright data disappearing gently into the air.
There was barely enough time to catch the surprised look on Khun’s face as their eyes found each other.
Before either of them could say a word, Khun was gone.
Bam closed his hand into a fist. The warmth of Khun’s grip still lingered. The gentle touch remained on his palm and he wished he could keep it forever. What he wouldn’t give to be able to hold Khun’s hand just one more time.
There was only one possible explanation for why he vanished like this. The Khun from outside this floor must have returned.
If Khun was here, then Bam should be following some time soon right?
Bam’s data sat up in the grass and waited.
He waited, and waited, and waited, but nothing happened.
His Khun was gone, and Bam wasn’t even granted the honor of going with him.
When Bam had originally come here, he remembered finding it strange that they didn’t see very many data humans of previous regulars who had conquered the hell train. If anything, he expected this place to be absolutely packed.
But it wasn’t, and he soon found out why.
Decades can pass and this place starts to feel more like a prison than a paradise. They were fish stuck in a tank while their real selves got to carry on and keep exploring the vast ocean.
The data of most regulars do not last more than a few hundred years here. They end up accompanying regulars from the hell train on their quests and then happily following them to the mirror at the end of the last stage. When a real person steps into the mirror it brings them back onto the hell train. When a data human looks into that mirror, they are simply deleted.
With Khun’s data at his side, Bam had always thought that this place would be an eternal paradise.
But now, with the weight of a thousand unshed tears and a data version of Khun who was gone forever, Bam couldn’t help but think that this had become the most lonely place in the tower.
----------
Maybe prioritizing his search for Bam’s data and the data of Hansung Yu right when he entered town wasn’t the best choice.
Khun had stuck around just long enough to listen to the explanation of how he needed to complete quests in order to advance through the stages of the hidden floor. The concept of data humans and the data of previous regulars from the hell train helped explain the contents of the note he had left for himself.
That was fine.
What was not fine was how his search left him completely disregarding the quests. Those actions had caused the bar on his little pocket watch of good and evil to shift towards black instead of white.
This was when he felt an unexplainable chill and found himself looking up at Bam who hovered in the air near the roof of the building with his beautiful black shinsu wings.
Khun expected Bam's data to look exactly as he had back when they first rode the hell train, but this Bam wore his hair tied back in a short ponytail. He looked about the same size as Khun and had eyes that had long since accepted the deaths of the countless battles he had fought. His appearance matched that of the current Bam outside this floor.
The first attack only consisted of a single baang and took Khun by surprise. It hit him right in the chest and sent him tumbling backwards to the ground. While it wasn’t exactly painful, the shock of it left him winded. Khun really didn’t have to think very hard in order to understand that this was who the scale must have created as his sworn enemy. From what the data humans explained earlier it was really the only thing that could make sense here. The chill he felt moments ago solidified the idea.
Khun cursed under his breath as he used his lighthouse barrier to block a volley of shinsu. Apparently this Bam wanted nothing more than to attack him even if it meant destroying half the town in the process.
Sure, Bam was incredibly powerful and he was feared by many people in the tower as an irregular and infamous FUG slayer candidate. But even with all that, Khun had never been afraid of Bam. So why was Bam here as the personification of his fears?
Ice formed around Khun and a spear materialized itself in his hand. He knew from the moment he threw it that it was going to miss-- Bam was too skilled to let such a direct attack hit him, but also, Khun really didn’t want to hit Bam. Without that willingness to truly harm or even kill your opponent, Khun was at a complete disadvantage.
Khun turned and ran down the nearest street. That Bam was fake. That Bam was fake. Khun was drowning, repeating the words to himself like a lifeline. He was only data. Khun could kill data. So long as he kept thinking of his sworn enemy as the fake that he was, then maybe Khun could do this.
He turned down another street and there was a thunderous crash as the buildings near him crumbled and cracked from one of Bam’s attacks. Without a second though, Khun turned in a different direction and kept running. Killing his sworn enemy was the best option, but it would be difficult to kill data that looked like Bam.
He needed some kind of backup plan just in case he couldn’t do it. Khun clenched his teeth and accepted the possibility, then sent an invisible lighthouse as far as he possibly could in the opposite direction.
The ground shook and Khun heard the sound of glass shattering from many nearby structures. The town would get destroyed if he didn’t do something quickly. He just needed to get a little further away first.
Footsteps fell hard and fast on the cobblestone ground as Khun hurried. His breathing was labored but easily maintainable and he had made decent progress so far. Then, at the end of the next street, a figure stepped around the corner from the building in front of him and Khun instantly tossed up another lighthouse shield in front of himself.
No attack came though. His sworn enemy just stood before him with a contemplative look in those fierce golden eyes.
If this had been anywhere else then Khun might have been able to pretend that they were just sparing. That was something they did quite frequently now. Khun almost always lost but he loved their matches all the same. Any chance to see Bam glistening with sweat was a chance he would gladly take.
Sometimes their matches would end with Khun on the ground pinned below his wave controller as they both panted heavily. He enjoyed the challenge and the closeness of it-
His sworn enemy was smiling at him.
Shit. That can’t be good. Khun watched as it began as a tiny knowing smirk and then evolved. And oh fuck , that cocky smile was directed right at him. For data, Bam had absolutely no business looking that hot right now.
The sworn enemy knew it too. That dangerously playful gaze spoke volumes as he took another step closer to Khun. The lighthouse barrier was still up but Bam didn’t seem to mind.
“Why do you run from me Khun?” Bam’s deep voice reached his ears like a beautiful but deadly siren song. “Aren’t you going to fight back?”
Khun’s brain was too busy working overtime to formulate a response. He had to try not to focus on the curve of Bam’s lips while also cycling through ideas and possibilities regarding the current situation. How could he defeat his sworn enemy? What was he even afraid of?
“Maybe you’d rather chat instead.” Bam’s data spoke out casually, giving him a questioning look.
Then the sworn enemy pushed the sleeves of his shirt up to his elbows which exposed lean, muscular forearms. He placed his hands gently on Khun’s lighthouse barrier. “How about I take this down so the two of us can get closer?” His voice was breathy, gentle, and almost intimate.
Khun’s brain finally caught up. Or rather, it nearly broke, and that was the thing that finally gave him an answer.
What did Khun fear most?
He was afraid to tell Bam how much he loved him.
Khun’s other lighthouse was at the far side of town by now. He sent it away as far as he possibly could, and then continued running away from it. This was his backup and he definitely needed it right now.
With the flick of his hand the barrier disappeared and he used his lighthouse teleport skill. Thank god Bam didn’t react fast enough to get away from it. The sworn enemy’s eyes never left Khun’s deep blue stare as the skill activated. They very clearly said, This isn’t over, before he was gone, teleported to where the other lighthouse was.
Khun would have to grab a quest quickly before his sworn enemy came back. That should be enough to make the black and white even out more on the little watch that was in his coat pocket.
“Hey Khun…”
Khun nearly flinched at the sound that came from behind him. It was Bam’s voice, and for a single horrifying second he thought that his teleport had not worked.
Then he turned around and saw the beautiful golden eyes of a much younger Bam staring at him uncertainly.
“Was that-” Bam’s data swallowed nervously. “Was that me?”
----------
Bam’s data knew that compared to other regulars, his strength, shinsu control, and combat skills were far above average. Despite that, he had always felt weak. And right now was no exception.
Having Khun disappear felt like losing a part of his very own soul. He was being crushed far beneath the rock and soil under his feet. His mind was scattered through the air and into the starless sky. Everything was painful, but somehow all he felt was numb.
Khun Aguero Agnes was alive. But he was no longer his Khun. It was Khun’s data who Bam had been with this whole time. The Khun standing before him now wasn’t exactly a stranger, but he wasn’t the Khun that Bam had known and loved for all these years here on the hidden floor.
He couldn’t throw his arms around this older Khun and weep with relief to see him safe. All he wanted to do was kiss him and hold him and tell him that they would never be separated again, but he couldn’t, because this wasn’t him.
The fact that Bam was Khun’s sworn enemy only confused him more.
What did Khun fear that caused his sworn enemy to be generated as an older version of Bam? It was hard not to wonder about it. Questions filled his head and added a new layer of complexity to his already crushed heart and scattered mind. All he had managed to ask was, “Was that me?”
And of course it was him. That much had been fairly obvious.
The look in Khun’s eyes flashed from shock, to guilt, before settling on relief. The transition was so fast Bam nearly missed it.
Khun’s reply came in the voice that Bam had grown so used to hearing every day for years and years. “Well, it certainly does look like you doesn’t it?” Silver blue hair shone in the sunlight as he shrugged. “But he’s not really you. He’s just a fake so don’t worry about it Bam.”
Bam offered a tentative smile. He was desperately trying to find some comfort in Khun’s words, but it wasn’t really working. Even so, he just said, “Okay,” as if that’s all there was to it.
It was not okay.
Bam shoved the rest of his thoughts and questions down into the depths of his mind where he locked them away and gave Khun the key. Bam might try asking later, but right now he was going to let Khun decide what he wanted to share.
Khun’s voice came again like a warm embrace. “You’re Bam’s data right? You look exactly the same as I remember you during our time on the hell train.”
Bam did his best to smile. “Yeah, that’s me.” He walked over so that he was closer to Khun and then looked up. “You’re taller than I’m used to.”
“It’s been years since we left the hell train. A lot has changed.” Khun answered thoughtfully, a pensive look on his face.
Bam asked, “Do those changes have anything to do with why you are back on this floor?” He did his best to keep his voice from shaking with the sadness and heartbreak that was consuming him.
When Khun nodded Bam said, "Then I'll help you out in whatever way I can."
----------
Khun was pleased to discover that Bam and Hansung’s data were on pretty good terms with each other. They didn't visit often, but on the rare occasions that they did it was a welcome surprise. Bam had explained to Khun how they could meet Hansung on the next stage as early as tomorrow.
Bam had also shown Khun where regulars from the hell train usually stayed, but after finding out that the data human couldn't stay there with him he'd insisted on going somewhere else. This is how they found themselves walking back to Bam's home as darkness fell.
It had been a comfortable silence for the first half of their walk. He could tell that Bam’s data was upset about something, and he assumed that it was probably Khun’s sworn enemy.
Seemingly out of nowhere, Bam asked, “Why didn’t I go too?”
Khun raised a questioning eyebrow.
“Why didn’t I return to the hidden floor with you?” Bam clarified.
“Oh? I thought you’d already know why.” Khun looked thoughtfully at him, then added, “There was something important that you wanted to remember from your first visit here, but you couldn’t tell any of us what it was.”
He watched as Bam considered that for a minute. “Anyone who comes back here loses their memories of their previous visit right?” His brow was furrowed. Then Bam said simply, “He wants to remember Jahad.”
Khun knew about the fight and had a feeling that might be the case. He listened with growing awe as Bam recalled their battle. When they reached the part about the real Jahad showing up Khun felt as though he had been physically punched in the chest.
“He did what?!”
Bam laughed, but the light in his eyes that Khun had always associated with Bam wasn’t there. “Yeah, he appeared when you and the rest of our friends broke the scale. But don’t worry,” Bam held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Jahad didn’t stay for long, and the scale got fixed again with the next reset. Everything here is back to normal.”
“I don’t care about the scale or the hidden floor,” Khun said, exasperated. “What happened with you and the real Jahad?”
Bam looked at him with somber yet trusting eyes of pure gold. When he spoke, there was an undercurrent of amusement among the sadness. “Well… Jahad and his data had an argument. One of them wanted to kill me and the other- uhm, didn’t? Long story short, I lived.” He laughed. It felt forced. “I’m sure you already know that part. But fighting against Jahad’s data and meeting the Jahad from outside this floor isn’t something I want to forget.”
Still breathless, Khun replied, “I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t want to forget that either.”
When they arrived at their destination, Khun noticed that his sworn enemy had really done a number on this place. The home of Bam’s data was among the hundreds of structures damaged in Khun’s brief fight.
Objects were knocked off shelves, a few chairs near the table were tipped over, and some shards of glass lay scattered across the floor.
Khun noticed how Bam didn’t seem to care about the general mess. He watched as Bam walked with purpose over to a shelf near the entryway and looked down at the objects on the floor around it.
Carefully, Bam bent down and picked up a large piece of glass. From it’s partial shape Khun guessed that it might have been a clear bowl. He stood and watched in silence.
Bam was scouring the ground now and shaking out a white piece of cloth.
It didn’t take a genius to see that Bam was still upset. The irregular had always been easy to read. Khun wanted to ask him about it, but he felt as though the gap between them had been widening since the moment they met on this floor.
A button was carefully picked up off the ground. Bam held onto it as though it was a precious gem. Khun wanted to ask about this but the words just didn’t come out.
The search continued and Khun decided he needed to do something. Crouching down next to Bam, he asked, “Tell me what you’re looking for so I can help find it.”
“I’m just-” Bam paused and took a deep breath. “I’m just looking for something that’s probably not even here any more.” He stood up abruptly and brushed some of the tiny glass shards off the bottom of his pants.
----------
“Is this really one of the Tower traditions to show that you’ve chosen a life partner?” Bam’s data tried to avoid sounding skeptical but only half succeeded.
Khun’s data rolled his eyes and replied, “Of course I’m sure. There’s actually a lot of ways to do it. There is everything from a ceremony to just a simple exchange of gifts.”
Bam watched as Khun selected a clear glass bowl from the cupboard of their small house and neatly folded a white cloth to set inside it.
“We’re exchanging gifts,” He explained. “But instead of keeping them on us at all times we display them in the place we call home.”
Those words sent a thrill of happiness that reverberated through Bam’s entire body.
Data humans had surprisingly few options for a grand exchange and neither of them really cared about any sort of ceremony. Matching jewelry might have been nice, but the reset that happened with each completion of the hell train would just delete it.
Instead, Khun had suggested that they exchange something they already had on them. Bam didn’t care if this was an actual Tower tradition or if Khun was just making it up as he went.
This would be just for them.
At reset they were generated looking exactly as they had been on their last day visiting the hidden floor. Whatever they were wearing and whatever they had on them was all they could truly call their own.
For Bam, that just consisted of a torn button up shirt, ripped pants, and his worn down shoes. Unbothered by this, he removed the top button of his already ruined shirt and held it out to Khun’s data.
“This is for you,” he said with a smile. “It’s the nicest thing I have on me. It’s not much, but it's yours if you’ll accept it.”
Khun smiled back at him. It was beautiful and full and made his eyes absolutely sparkle. “And this is for you,” Khun said as he removed one of his earrings. He took Bam’s hand that held the button and kissed his palm. Then he placed his earring there and took the button. “I will always cherish this.”
They placed their treasures gently on the white fabric inside the little glass bowl and Khun lifted it to the top of their shelf.
Everything would revert back after each reset. But that didn’t stop them from always putting this where it belonged. It was easy to take out the same bowl time and time again and fill it with the same little white piece of cloth and the same treasures. They never forgot.
The bowl on the shelf was there to see them off each time they left, and it was there to greet them each time they returned home.
“I love you, Khun.”
“I love you too Bam.”
“Always.”
*
Bam squeezed the button in his hand.
The earring wasn’t there. Of course it wasn’t.
It was a part of Khun’s data, generated with him time and time again. If Khun’s data had been replaced then it only made sense that the earring was gone along with the rest of him.
Suddenly Bam was glad that the bowl was smashed. He didn’t want to come home and find it here with the earring missing. That half of a single whole would only remind him too much of the other piece of his heart that was missing right along with it.
His Khun would not be coming home ever again.
He placed the button in his pocket and tossed the larger piece of glass back onto the floor with the rest of it.
Khun was looking at him with concern written all over his face. It only reminded Bam of the way his Khun would give him that exact same look right before he swept him into his arms and whispered words of comfort.
But no embrace came. No words of comfort followed. A silence stretched between them until Bam finally said, “Everything in here will be fixed with the next reset.” His voice sounded hollow but he didn’t care. “No need to worry about any of it.”
----------
Bam’s small house was a mess, but it didn’t take long to pick up whatever was on the floor, stand some chairs back up, and sweep any areas with broken glass. They were going to move to the next stage tomorrow anyway so it wasn’t like the cleanup needed to be perfect. The reset would do that for them.
Khun couldn’t help but notice how Bam’s home had a few things that didn’t quite make sense. The hair straightener sitting on the bathroom counter was one of them. Since when did Bam straighten his hair?
“You can take the bed, and I’ll take the couch,” Bam remarked in an offhanded sort of way. They were both in the bedroom right now and Bam was rummaging in some drawers to get both of them a change of clothes.
Khun could feel that something was off about this entire situation, but he decided to take it one battle at a time and deal with this part first. “The couch probably still has bits of the glass on it from the window that shattered in the living room.”
“Oh?” Bam shrugged. “I’ll take the floor then.”
“We could just share the bed?” Khun offered tentatively. “There’s enough room for two and it's something we’ve done plenty of times in both our pasts, right?”
Bam paused, but didn’t respond.
Khun had already come to several possible conclusions, but it was the bedside tables next to the double mattress in the bedroom that made him certain. A digital clock sat on each side.
One of them was turned away from the bed, as if the light from the glowing numbers was too bothersome to sleep next to. The only person Khun knew who did that was himself.
“My data lived here with you, didn’t he?”
“Yes,” Bam replied flatly. “Your data lived here with me.”
Khun tried to think of the best response for this. It would be strange to apologize for replacing himself with himself so maybe instead he should-
“So why am I your sworn enemy now? Did something happen between us outside this floor?”
A blatant change of subject if Khun had ever heard one. That was not subtle.
He exhaled roughly. “Nothing bad happened between us. It’s sort of the opposite really. We’re still best friends. We’re as close as we’ve ever been.”
Finally he must have said something right because Bam relaxed a little and that mix of sadness, worry, and hurt stirred into those large golden eyes seemed to lessen.
“I’m glad we’re doing alright,” Bam sighed. Then after a brief moment of hesitation he asked, “So we’re just friends?”
That felt like a loaded question and Khun wasn’t sure how to proceed. So he just said, “yes”.
And now he must have said something wrong, because Bam was back to looking just as upset.
“Were you hoping that I would say something else?” Khun asked carefully.
Bam. Wonderful, honest, and trusting Bam, replied, “I was hoping that we’d be more than friends by now.”
Khun’s world shifted. This is why he came to the hidden floor. This was the conversation he wanted to have. This was the information he desperately wanted to know. And yet, none of this was going the way he imagined.
Bam looked depressed. Khun had only ever seen him like this back when he was trapped and alone with FUG.
With a mouth that didn’t even feel like his own right now, he said, “I’ve been hoping for that too. But with the way things are outside this floor, we can’t.” Then he swallowed and dared to ask, “Were we more than friends here?” Those words hinged the edge of a cliff that Khun dangled from.
“We were.” Came Bam’s emotionless reply.
Hope. Pain. A lifeline. Something helped Khun pull himself back up and let this sink in.
It hurt because this is exactly what Khun wanted, but he knew that was a reality never meant for him.
Here on the hidden floor there wasn’t anything like war or climbing the tower to stop them was there? Maybe that’s why his data took that chance. And by some miracle that he never did anything to deserve, Bam had returned his feelings.
This place had once held a version of Khun Aguero Agnes who was happy . It was fitting. Really, it was. Khun always managed to ruin things didn’t he?
Bam stared back at him helplessly before his lips positioned themselves into a somewhat forced smile. It quickly turned back into a frown again as Bam abandoned the attempt.
“I’m sorry Bam.” This was one of the times where Khun truly meant it. “I never thought that we’d be like this here. I thought that returning and replacing him wouldn’t…” Khun trailed off, unable to find the words.
“- wouldn’t matter?” Bam’s data offered miserably. “Wouldn’t be missed?” He tossed the words at Khun’s feet like stones scattering over asphalt. Truth scattered into the open air. Glass scattered over the floor of an entryway.
He watched Bam’s hands clench together tightly. These were hands that had once cherished and held Khun’s data. This was a version of Bam that loved Khun, and yet the real Khun was right here and he had never had the honor of experiencing that kind of affection himself.
“Yeah.” Khun mumbled. “Something like that.”
There was a beat of silence before Bam spoke again, trying to prove him wrong.
“You are both important to me because you’re Khun,” Bam said earnestly. “I care about your data, I love him, and I miss him-” He stopped himself and Khun could see just how hard Bam was trying to stay composed right now. “I also care about you too,” the data human continued. “I want to help you.” That small genuine smile threatened to be overshadowed by Bam’s grief. “Data or not. You will always matter to me. So let’s get some sleep and try not to worry too much about things we can’t change any more. Tomorrow you can get your information and clear this floor.”
“Okay,” Khun breathed. He didn’t think he had the emotional capacity to continue this conversation any further, so he let that be the end of it.
Okay.
*
If Khun thought he’d be able to get any sleep after everything that had happened today, he was sorely mistaken.
Thoughts of Bam, his sworn enemy, and Bam’s data raced through his mind like they owned the place. And honestly, from the sheer amount of time that Khun spent thinking about Bam on any given day, maybe they do own the place after all.
The Bam outside this floor had once returned his feelings. Bam’s data was proof of that. What if Khun told Bam about his feelings one day, once the war was over, and they reached the top of the tower? Would the answer still be the same after all that time? Maybe he’d ask Bam’s data in the morning about it.
There was another version of Bam on this floor too. His sworn enemy would appear again if Khun let his good and evil monitor fill with more black than white. Maybe he could ask them both?
Khun curled onto his side and shifted around under the covers. He knew that he was confused and upset and anxious, but also somehow happy and relieved and nothing made sense. Because emotions did not make sense when his way of thinking was mostly pure logic and rationale. He’d always been good at keeping everything tightly contained, but something about this floor was causing him to become an absolute mess.
He stared at Bam through the darkness. The data human hadn’t moved at all in the last few hours. Bam had returned his feelings this whole time and Khun never even knew it. Never even considered it. Thanks to war and destiny and whatever the hell else they had going on, they’d never be able to act on it either. Bam was going to leave him behind some day.
The hidden floor was the only place where this could be real.
Sleep was never going to come was it? He tried to find a way to calm his thoughts.
That’s when his thoughts all gravitated towards Bam sleeping so close on the other side of the bed. There. Comfort, peace, love, acceptance, everything was right there.
The data human had told him that he cares for Khun whether it’s him right now or his data from before. To Bam, Khun is Khun, and he was incredibly grateful for that knowledge.
Khun reached an arm onto Bam’s side of the bed. He wrapped that anxious limb around the sleeping data human’s waist, and then he shuffled a little closer. Pressing gently, Khun hugged him.
He even smelled like Bam. It was calming. This hug was everything he needed right now, and he allowed himself to stay like this in his brief time of weakness. His brain finally began to relax its hold on all his racing thoughts. Maybe sleep would finally come after all.
If Khun failed to notice how Bam was still awake and how the pillow was stained with hours of silent tears, then that was a secret forever lost to the night.
*
Khun was alone in the bed when he woke up.
Light spilled into the house from the rising sun. Everything was engulfed in a beautiful yellow glow.
He was still sleepy, but Bam’s absence left him feeling instantly alert.
The floor was cold on Khun’s feet as he left the room in search of Bam’s data. Thankfully it didn’t take him long to locate him in the living room.
Bam was staring out the large broken window watching the sun rise.
Like a ray of sunshine himself, the boy was dissolving into gold.
With a spike of anxiety, Khun ran over to Bam. He couldn’t shake the feeling, even here, that he was being left behind.
He grasped Bam’s shoulder and took comfort in how solid it felt. Up close, that shimmering silhouette was as sturdy as ever, and Khun almost felt silly for allowing his tired eyes to trick him like that.
“Is everything okay Khun?” Bam looked exhausted but his voice sounded pleasant.
Khun quickly let go as if suddenly burned by the contact. “Yeah.” He offered Bam a small smile. “Everything is fine.”
*
The talk with Hansung didn’t take long.
There was only one more thing for Khun to take care of before he cleared the rest of the stages.
Khun called out, “I’m afraid to tell Bam how I feel, right? That’s what all this is about. That’s why you’re here as my sworn enemy.”
Bam stood before him. His longer bangs stuck to his face with sweat and his short ponytail was only slightly disheveled despite Khun’s best efforts to fight him seriously. They were both panting from the exertion.
This older version of Bam seemed intrigued by Khun’s words and asked with his deep, almost mocking voice, “Is that what you think?”
“It’s what I know,” Khun replied with confidence.
“Then you should really stop lying to yourself,” Bam replied flatly.
Khun felt a stab of annoyance but shoved it back down. He allowed nothing but cool determination to show on his face.
His sworn enemy just stood still watching him with those piercing gold eyes. He was no longer in a fighting stance and seemed open to the possibility of a conversation now that Khun had started one.
It was now or never.
Khun closed the rest of the distance between them until they were only a few steps apart. They stood on rocky ground in one of the middle stages with nothing but dust and Bam’s data to bear witness to this exchange. He didn’t have to be afraid of this. He could beat this floor at its own game. This Bam was only data after all.
His heart was beating so hard it was a wonder nobody else could hear it. The words felt heavy in his throat.
“You’re just like the real Bam, right?”
“As real as your memories and deepest fears can make me.”
“That’s perfect then.” Khun took a deep breath, ready to exploit this floor and use it to his advantage. “I love you, Bam.”
He sounded so sure of himself because he had never been more sure of anything in his life. He loved Bam. This was the closest he would ever come to saying it.
The flutter in his stomach still made this difficult and when he spoke again he wondered what would come out. Words- or his heart visible for all to see. “I’ve loved you for a very long time.”
Bam’s eyes were wide and never once did they stray away from Khun’s deep blue gaze. If eyes are the window to the soul, then Khun was letting Bam see all of him right now.
“I’ve been afraid to tell you. I know. You’re here right now as proof of that.” He shrugged and smiled. “But better late than never.”
There was a second of silence while Bam processed this.
And then his sworn enemy spoke. “You’re my best friend Khun. But now that you’ve gone and said these things, I think our friendship will have to be different.” Bam’s voice was calm. As if it were easy to pierce through a heart with nothing but words.
Khun felt like he was made of glass, and a small crack struck through his center.
“I don’t love you. At least, not like that.” There was no malice on his face or in his voice. There was no kindness either.
Another crack.
“Maybe this is all for the best anyways. We could use some space between us. It’s been getting harder for me to climb the tower while having to worry about protecting everyone- protecting you.”
A simple statement of facts.
Khun couldn’t breathe. It was all he could do just to hold himself together.
“I’d reach the top much faster without you holding me back.”
Something inside Khun shattered.
Fear came in many different flavors to love to cherish and to hold. There was the tangy acid of pain that threatened his life. The sour aftertaste of witnessing his teammates get injured. The salty tears left unshed over items stashed away never to be used or enjoyed.
But then- There was also the bitter ache of having his inner horrors spoken aloud. Exactly the way he never wanted to hear.
“I know Bam wouldn’t say these things.” Khun’s voice was quiet and strained. Did he really know though? The worst part of this is that he wasn’t actually sure. Maybe. Just maybe, Bam might say these things some day. Maybe he’s already been thinking them privately to himself and was just too kind to say them out loud.
Khun shook his head and shouted, “You’re fake! Just like everything else on this floor. You’re not Bam!” He waved his hand and made sure his lighthouses were ready. “You’re just data who happens to look like him. You can’t possibly compare to the real thing.”
The sworn enemy held out his hand and a single orb formed in the air above it.
Khun was still distraught. “These are my fucking fears talking. Not Bam.”
“I’m the Bam you made. You tell me.”
As the sworn enemy was about to attack again, Khun used his lighthouse teleport skill to send Bam to the furthest part of this stage. He hoped Bam would be extra irritated about it, because even after all this, there was no way Khun could ever kill Bam.
Thoughts of not being good enough and not being able to do anything for Bam swam through his brain like a torrent unable to stop itself.
A sigh heaved itself from the depth of his lungs. “Fuck this floor. I’m done with this.” He turned to Bam’s data. “Let’s just finish the quests so I can finally leave this awful place. Everything here is fake. None of it matters.”
The young data human looked absolutely stricken. Like a puppy that he just personally kicked, and he hated himself for it.
Bam’s data started to speak. “Khun-”
“Let’s go.” Khun interrupted. He didn’t want to hear whatever it was that Bam was going to say.
Bam grabbed his sleeve as Khun tried to walk past him. Even though he was angry and upset right now, he still couldn’t bring himself to pull his arm away from Bam. Even though he knew this Bam was nothing but data- just like the sworn enemy, he still couldn’t bring himself to deny Bam. So he stopped.
“I would never say those things,” Bam blurted out earnestly. “Those were your fears talking, not me.”
“I know.” Khun snapped back at him.
“Do you?” Bam hesitated, still holding his sleeve. “Khun please just talk to me.”
He was tired. So so so tired. Khun couldn’t deal with this right now. “I just want to move onto the next stage and get out of this place.” His voice was quiet, resigned.
Bam didn’t listen and kept talking anyways. “I’d never want to climb this tower without you Khun. Please believe me. You have never slowed me down. You’re the reason I even made it this far in the first place.”
“How would you know that?” Khun didn’t exactly shout, but from the way Bam stopped and stared at him wide eyed, he might as well have.
Now that Khun had gotten himself started there was no stopping. “How do you know that I’m not holding you back? How do you know what’s going on outside this floor? It’s been years! A lot can happen in that time. A lot has happened.”
“Because I love you.” Bam’s breath hitched and his eyes sparkled with unshed tears. “It doesn’t matter how much time has passed. This is something that will never change. The Bam outside this floor loves you, and when you return to him then the data you leave behind here will be loved too. I love every version of you, Khun.”
Khun’s insides twisted horribly as he recalled something that he probably should have mentioned earlier. “Bam. Before I entered this floor, I asked the scale for a favor.” Khun recalled the note in his pocket that he had left for himself. “When I leave, there will be no data copy of myself left behind.”
Bam’s data looked hurt and confused. “Why?” he finally asked.
“Because if I can use this floor to get information from the data humans here, then so can our enemies. We have a lot of enemies now, Bam. Whatever data I leave behind could be used against us, against you. You’ve confided so much in me. There shouldn’t be a copy of that just waiting here for someone else to find.” Khun tugged his sleeve free from Bam’s loosening grip.
“What does it matter?” Khun said with a small mirthless chuckle. “It’s my previous data that you want back anyways. A copy of me right now would just be second best after that.”
Khun hadn’t actually known this. He only suspected it and then threw the accusation into the wind, because why the hell not? It wasn’t like things could get any worse.
But he was wrong about that last part.
From the way Bam’s eyes widened he was positive that his statement was completely true. The confirmation and guilt was written all over the data human’s face.
It was like getting rejected by Bam all over again.
Khun was glass. And he was already broken into too many pieces to truly care. Fear came in many different flavors. This was the sweet satisfaction of being right when he desperately wished he was wrong.
“Don’t follow me,” was all Khun said after that. He felt numb and empty and just wanted to get somewhere far away where he could be alone and nobody could see how broken he was.
His footsteps crunched over the rocky ground as he strode away. Bam’s data stood rooted to the spot and let him go.
*
Khun regretted it the second he moved to the next stage.
Bam’s data was different from his sworn enemy. He came from the real Bam instead of Khun’s fears.
From the way his heart ached and clenched with guilt he knew that he didn’t just see Bam’s data as fake. Not like the sworn enemy anyways. Bam was still Bam, even as data.
*
Khun found himself hoping that he’d see Bam again on each new stage he entered.
The quests were not hard at all. It was easy to keep moving forward each day. His goals here had already been accomplished. Isn’t this what he wanted? Enter the floor, talk to Bam’s data, talk to Hansung’s data, and then exit the floor as quickly as possible. It was a simple mission.
This was supposed to be simple.
He contemplated going back to search for Bam so he could apologize and explain. But what would that accomplish? The apology would only make himself feel better. There was no way to make Bam feel better.
*
He cleared the last stage.
The data humans had already celebrated his success and showed him the way out for when he was ready.
There was a mirror at the end of this series of hallways and all he needed to do was walk into it. That would take him back onto the hell train.
Why hadn’t Bam’s data come back? What if Khun stayed and tried to go looking for him? What would he even say if he managed to find him again?
It’s always been like this. Khun chased after Bam.
Bam never chased after Khun.
The weight of his guilt made his progress slow. Khun was walking down the long hallway headed for the mirror while hanging onto the regret of upsetting Bam’s data. He shouldn’t have said those things. All Khun did was push people away.
The truth was that he loves Bam in every form he takes. Even data. The encounter with his sworn enemy had been devastating, but Bam didn’t deserve what happened after that. Khun could just add this to the endless list of things he’s managed to screw up.
He turned a final corner and saw the giant mirror at the end of this shorter hallway.
There was a figure sitting in front of the mirror.
He had his back to it and was watching the path eagerly. When he spoke, it was in a familiar voice. “I knew I’d see you here eventually,” Bam’s data said with a relieved smile.
Shock rippled through Khun. Even though he had desperately wished for it, he really didn’t think he was going to see Bam again.
Khun’s feet carried him over and the data human stood up to greet him. Khun should say something. He should apologize.
“You were right.” Bam interrupted his thoughts. “I do miss your data. Okay?” His voice was gentle, as if afraid that he would upset Khun again, and it made Khun feel even worse. “I think that the more you love someone, the more you miss them when they’re gone. There’s no way to ever replace him. Just like there’s no way to replace you either.”
The words in Khun’s mouth had been plucked away and tossed down the hallway.
Bam moved as if he wanted to put a hand on Khun’s shoulder, but he stopped himself and just said, “The Bam outside this floor cares for you and misses you too. He just doesn’t do a good job of expressing it a lot of the time.”
Khun could see the earnest look in Bam’s wide golden eyes. It took his breath away when Bam got stubbornly passionate like this. He never thought there would ever be a day where he was the source of it.
The smile Bam was giving him was so bright and sincere. He didn’t think it would match the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. But it was Bam. Only Bam could shine like this while crying.
He listened as Bam continued, “Thank you for always being there for us. We don’t say that very often, do we?” Bam shifted from one foot to the other but never once looked away from Khun. “You’re just so calm and composed all the time. And we don’t want to say anything that would make you uncomfortable. Like letting you know that you’re the most important person in our life. And that he appreciates everything you do. And how he looks for opportunities to ask you about things because he really just wants to spend more time with you. And-” Bam took a deep breath. Tears trailed down his cheeks. “And that he loves you.”
Khun wished he had some way to contain everything he was feeling. It felt like he was overflowing, and there was nothing that could prevent the sensation from sweeping him away.
Bam’s voice was gentle but firm. “I don’t know what the situation is outside anymore. I don’t know how your circumstances are different and I’m sure there are reasons for why you’re both holding back. But he loves you. I’m sure of it. So please don’t be afraid to tell him how you feel some day, okay?”
There had been plenty of times where Bam had asked him for things and Khun had never been able to say no. But not once could he ever remember being asked like this. The raw need on Bam’s face and the hope reflected in those eyes couldn’t be compared to any other request. The matching trail of tears on each one of his cheeks glistened in the light and Khun marvelled at how data could seem so real.
Bam rubbed at his face. “It doesn’t matter how long you need to wait. Because he will wait forever. Trust me. I promise.” Those piercing golden eyes encompassed all that Khun was and held him gently in their embrace. “Just please tell him.”
Khun had to resist the urge to reach out and wipe those tears away. Instead he replied, “Okay Bam. One day, I’ll tell him.” His voice was soft and cracked just a little at the end.
Bam rewarded him with the most beautiful smile Khun had ever seen. This time, it even reached those lovely sad eyes.
“And don’t worry about your data.” Bam said as he wiped his face again. “He just went on ahead, that’s all. It’s up to me to catch up to him.”
Khun tried to speak but no words came out.
Bam didn’t seem to need a response. He continued anyway. “You’re worried about our enemies using this floor for information right? Well I don’t want to be a liability to you guys on the outside either. And besides,” Bam flashed that smile again. “We promised that we’d always be together.”
The data human sighed wistfully. “A world without you would be so lonely. So I’m coming with you. When you return to your Bam, I’m going to find my Khun.”
There was that look again. Bam’s face was set in a way that was all too familiar. Khun could already tell that there would be no way to change Bam’s stubborn mind about this. So instead of trying to argue he said, “Then let’s not keep them waiting.”
Bam smiled gratefully and kissed his cheek. It was gentle and shy and filled with love. Khun didn’t deserve it at all, but he was so incredibly thankful for it all the same.
There was a soft touch on the back of his hand now. Khun looked down to see Bam’s fingertips withdraw ever so slightly as he asked, “Can I hold your hand just this once? Please?”
Khun released a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding and replied softly. “Sure.” Because he would do anything for Bam.
He would give Bam his heart, his life, his very soul, but right now all he could offer was his hand.
And now Bam took it. The motion was so natural, as if he’d done it thousands of times. Maybe he had. With his previous data self who nobody else would ever get to know.
It was completely new to Khun. But he didn’t mind at all. He could get used to this, and maybe one day he would. For now, he held Bam’s hand as though it was the most precious treasure he could ever ask for. Because Khun would love Bam in every form he took, even data.
He just wished he could do more.
Bam tilted his head at him. “Don’t look so troubled.” His voice was gentle and light and tinged with amusement of all things. Then he smiled brightly and said, “I’m just data.”
Khun shook his head. “You’re Bam.”
He felt a gentle tug as Bam started forward.
Bam was striding along with all the confidence in the world. Khun could suddenly see how some training with Evankhell is all it took to make this determination shine bright every day.
Bam looked into the mirror now, but Khun only had eyes for Bam.
He saw the resolve in those determined eyes. It was the happiest Khun had ever seen him on this floor. That was the look that Khun had always associated with Bam. That smile shone with warmth and delight.
Now Bam’s edges were no longer completely solid. Tiny flakes of sunshine bright data separated itself before Khun’s eyes. Each little piece floated away before disappearing completely.
He was dissolving into gold.
*
Every regular who survives the hidden floor leaves behind a copy of everything they currently are.
That rule didn’t apply to Khun. Not any more.
Khun’s hand felt too empty. The warmth of Bam’s palm against his own still remained. Bam’s data was gone from the hidden floor too, but Bam would never know it.
The first thing Khun saw here in the train compartment was Bam. His Bam . Older, confident, and carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
It looked as though he’d been waiting here for Khun to return. The bright and wonderful smile that greeted him still looked the same. Bam looked at Khun as if nobody else in the world mattered.
For the first time, Khun allowed himself to see everything in that smile. Bam loved him. He still did. Just like his data promised.
“Mission accomplished.” Bam said the words smoothly. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. Bam’s faith in Khun was endless. Not once did he even consider that Khun would fail this task.
“Of course.” Khun flashed him one of his satisfied smirks and only partially succeeded. The phantom touch from where they were just holding hands still lingered on Khun’s palm.
“And everything else is okay?” Bam asked casually.
He could tell that Bam knew something wasn’t quite right. But that’s another thing about Bam that he loved. He was patient with Khun. It was just another way that Bam expressed how much he understood him and cared.
Now that Khun thought about it, Bam has been expressing his love in a lot of ways this whole time. Bam has been fighting for him and protecting him and endlessly accepting all that he is. Khun could see it now.
It’s obvious in the brief touches they share and the way they seek each other out when one of them needs comfort.
Khun would continue to show his love too. He’d make sure nobody was taking advantage of Bam and his abilities. When Bam pushes himself too far or forgets to take care of himself, Khun would be there to help.
Now, Khun knew that they both just wanted to say,
I love you.
But they couldn’t use those words. Not when there was a war to win and a tower to climb.
So this is how they said it instead:
“Yeah, I’m alright Bam.” Khun’s words were quiet, but there was an air of finality to them.
He could tell that Bam understood, and wasn’t surprised when the wave controller nodded and didn't inquire any further.
It pulled a genuine smile from Khun’s lips and this time it reached his eyes and made them shine with how thankful he was to have Bam in his life.
He watched as Bam took in the sight. Those golden eyes widened as if they could look at Khun forever and didn’t want this moment to end. Then Bam said, “If you’ve got a minute, actually. Do you mind coming with me to look over some more plans? I always like having your opinion.”
It was clear Bam missed him and just wanted to spend more time with him.
“Of course,” Khun said, walking over so that he stood right beside his best friend.
One day, I’m going to tell you. But for now I can just say--
“Anything for you, Bam.”