Chapter Text
The Boyfriend was just walking around the neighborhood with his lovely Girlfriend, when suddenly, they came across two… very spooky kids who led them both into a seemingly abandoned house. One kid wore a skeleton costume, the other kid wore a pumpkin mask. They introduced themselves as Skid, and Pump, respectively. The reason why they led them into the house was because they wanted to have a rap battle; winner gets to have the Girlfriend, nothing that the Boyfriend was unfamiliar with at this point. However, while they were discussing the “rules” of the rap battle, one of them, Pump, let something slip, “And maybe if we win, we can also have the loser as a treat, too!” And then the two of them giggled and licked their lips before catching themselves and explaining the rest of the rules as if nothing had happened.
This left both the Boyfriend and the Girlfriend confused and concerned, but that only provided even more of an incentive to win this battle, so they wouldn’t have to suffer whatever the hell might await the both of them if the Boyfriend were to lose. Skid took out a blank CD, and put it into the speaker booth, and a spooky song began to play throughout the house, and lightning and thunder started to crash. The Boyfriend knew that there was no turning back at this point; it was do or die, and the Boyfriend was NOT ready to die. So, the battle began, and everything seemed to be going well at first, but then the Boyfriend started to trip over his words. And after that, there was no coming back... He failed at making comebacks. He stumbled and tripped over every single one of his words.
He even failed to do the most basic of tasks, like keeping the beat of the song! But Skid and Pump, they just plowed right through, as if they’d rehearsed this tune over, and over, and over again! No matter how much the Boyfriend tried, he just couldn’t get back on his feet. By the time the song finally ended, there was a clear winner, and it WASN’T the Boyfriend. The Boyfriend just couldn’t believe it. Skid and Pump walked up to the Boyfriend, who stared up at the Spookeez, afraid for his life. “Aww, what’s wrong?”, Skid questioned, “You did so well a few moments ago!” The Boyfriend, in a panic, blurted out, “Ba… Ba bwee da boo ba bwa, skee be ga DWAP baa? (But… But I don’t get it, how could I lose to YOU?!)” Pump placed a hand on the Boyfriend’s shoulder and shook his head, “Tsk, tsk, tsk… What a loser. But, you know the rules… You and the Girlfriend are our treats now…”
The two kids started to laugh maniacally, grinning from ear to ear as they lurched closer and closer towards their “prizes.” Suddenly, as if something in his mind was stirring, the Boyfriend grew a pair as he grabbed the Girlfriend off of the speakers and began to dash for the front door of the house. Unfortunately, as if they were in a cartoon, the Spookeez got there first, and slammed the door shut, locking it before they could even have a hope of escape. The Boyfriend was about to turn around and make a mad dash for the window, but not only did Skid steal the Girlfriend out of his hands, but Pump managed to pin him down on his back and immobilize him. Pump growled as he stared deep into the Boyfriend’s eyes, “Grr… we don’t like it when our treats run away; it makes them too stringy.” The Boyfriend tried to call for help, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was, “BWEEP! BWEEP!!!”
Pump, still pinning the Boyfriend down, used his free hand to cup the blue-haired rapper’s mouth and shut him up, “Be quiet! Or do you want us to skip the taste test and just kill you right now?” The Boyfriend’s cries slowly faded to nothing more than pathetic whimpers as the pumpkin kid grinned, now revealing sharpened teeth akin to that of a shark’s, “Perfect. Treats are so much yummier when they’re obedient~” Meanwhile, Skid pinned the Girlfriend down next to Pump and the Boyfriend, having tied her arms behind her back with duct tape. Pump looked over to Skid, “Oh, hey Skid, hand me the duct tape, will ya?” Skid smiled and did so, “Oh, here ya go, buddy!” Pump gladly took the duct tape, and did the same thing that Skid did with the Girlfriend, tying the Boyfriend’s arms behind his back.
The Boyfriend looked at the Girlfriend with sadness in his eyes, as if to say “I’m so sorry,” as the two of them tied their legs together with duct tape as well, further immobilizing them. The two kids then stared at each-other in horror, “Oh, what are we doing?” The Boyfriend and Girlfriend had a moment of relief, as if they’d finally saw the light, but that relief was short-lived as they grinned again, “We forgot to call Father!” The two of them then proceeded to let out a series of demonic shrieks and growls, and then… something emerged from the shadows. During the battle, whenever lightning struck, the Boyfriend and Girlfriend always thought they saw something hidden in the shadows… and now, here it was, finally revealed to them.
What they saw was… well, the thing hardly looked human. It only had two fingers on each hand, and two toes on each foot. Its head was shaped and colored like a lemon. Its eyes were bulging out of their sockets, bloodshot and with eerily large black pupils. Its mouth, however, was the most terrifying part of the creature: it always seemed to be grinning, its teeth were extruding from its mouth. The creature seemed to be humming some sort of tune to itself, every now and then, a “la la la” was heard. The creature suddenly turned its head a full 180 degrees, now staring at the Boyfriend and Girlfriend, “Well now! What do we have here?” He turned around, his head spinning back to its normal(?) position as it stared down at the Girlfriend and Boyfriend, “A nice little meal for me, and you even got one for yourselves! Very productive~”
Skid cheered, “Yeah! I hope she’s tasty enough for you, Father!” The Lemon Demon chuckled, “Oh, I’m sure she’ll be. And even if she isn’t… Well, there’s nothing a little Lemon Zest can’t fix, right?” The two of them nodded, “Oh yeah!” The Lemon Demon beamed cheerfully, “Great! You kids can snack on the boy for now, I’ve got a Girlfriend to make stew out of!” The Lemon Demon grabbed the Girlfriend; she screamed as she was carried into the shadows with the Lemon Demon, never to come out again. And soon, the Boyfriend was left by his lonesome, with only THEM for company. Skid and Pump were seemingly too excited for their own good, Pump cheered, “Yes, yes, yes! We get to have this yummy boy all to ourselves!~”
Skid tried to calm Pump down, though it was obvious he was excited too, “Calm down, calm down! We need to do the taste test first.” Pump nodded, “Right, right, let’s see how yummy he really is…” Skid and Pump grinned as they stared at the Boyfriend’s terrified face. They then leaned closer and extended their tongues, licking as if trying to lap up the Boyfriend’s anxiety-fueled sweat. Boyfriend whimpered and his eyes darted all around as the two of them kept licking his face. Meanwhile, the two scary kids were giggling and happily licking away at the Boyfriend’s sweat, finally breaking away after what felt like an eternity. Skid smiled, “He’s perfect! There’s so much flavor in his sweat alone!~” Pump nodded in agreement, “Yeah, and there’s so many places we can start from, I dunno what to eat first!” Skid suggested, “Ooh, I know! Let’s start with his fingers!” Skid and Pump then grabbed the duct tape holding his arms behind him and tore it off, grabbing his arms.
They stared at his hands, which were now drenched in the same anxiety-fueled sweat that his face was covered with. The two kids licked their lips, and before the Boyfriend could do or say anything, they suddenly bit into his hand, tearing at least two fingers off from each hand. The Boyfriend screamed loudly at the pain that rushed through his body, but this was met with a punch in the chest from Skid, “Quiet! You’re our meal, act like it!” Pump suddenly had an idea, “Hold on, I got this.” Pump suddenly took more of the duct tape, and taped his mouth shut. “There! Now he won’t be a bother. Now, where were we?” The two freaks then went back to devouring the Boyfriend’s fingers, lapping up all the blood that gushed from his hands as they swallowed the fingers one by one.
The Boyfriend wanted to scream and cry out, but they couldn’t hear him, on account of his mouth being taped shut. The Spookeez looked like they were in Heaven, but the Boyfriend felt like he was in Hell. And they didn’t just stop at his fingers; by the time they were finally done, he had no hands to speak of anymore! They smiled, their sharp and bloodied teeth visible in the pale moonlight, as Pump spoke, “Mmm! That was so delicious! What next, Skid?” Skid looked in deep thought at Boyfriend, who was still visibly terrified, “Hmm… What to eat next…” Suddenly, Skid got an idea, “Oh, I know! An eye for each of us!” The Boyfriend went wide-eyed, and shook his head to object, but it was already too late.
The Spookeez made their way over to his eyes, each of them grabbing one eye and tearing it out of its socket. The Boyfriend groaned as his vision cut out to nothing in an instant, but even if he couldn’t see anymore… He could still hear them. He could still feel what they were doing to him. And he could feel them now licking the blood out of his now-empty sockets. Skid’s cheery voice echoed through his eardrums, “Mmm! His blood is so tasty, don’t you agree?” Pump responded, “Yeah! So much flavor! I could lick it for hours!~” The Boyfriend felt like he was about to die right then and there. In fact, he hoped he would, so he wouldn’t have to suffer like this anymore, knowing that not only had he failed his Girlfriend, but that she and him were both now meals for these… these demons.
Suddenly, Skid spoke up, “Hold on, Pump, we gotta save some room for Father’s stew!” Pump responded, “Oh, oh yeah! I forgot, let’s just have one last taste.” Skid asked, “…Neck bite?” Pump agreed, “Neck bite!” Finally, the two of them bit down into the Boyfriend’s neck, their sharp teeth sinking deep into his flesh. The Boyfriend didn’t even bother to try fighting it anymore as they sucked up his blood like greedy little vampires. Would there be a Heaven? Or would he be stuck in a limbo of nothingness? The Boyfriend couldn’t care less; he was finally free from the torment, their passionate moans and growls being the last thing that he ever heard before he finally, finally, succumbed to the pain. And the last thing he ever felt? Death’s cold embrace…
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The Lemon Demon soon walked back into the room, carrying a large pot, “Oh kids! Dinner’s ready!~ I made it extra-special for you two--” The Lemon Demon then saw Skid and Pump finishing up with the Boyfriend. Or, that is, what was left of him. They suddenly stopped munching as they saw Lemon Demon with the pot. Pump was the first to speak up, “Oh, hi Pops.” Lemon Demon squinted, “Well now… I see you kids were hungry.” Skid nodded, “Very hungry. He was just sooooo delicious, you know?” Pump responded in agreement, “Y-Yeah, we just couldn’t help ourselves!” The Lemon Demon nodded in understanding, “Good thing you kids still have room for dinner, right?” The two kids nodded as the Lemon Demon set the pot on the table, setting up three bowls.
Opening the pot, what was inside seemed to be a stew of some sort, but whatever broth there was inside was blood red, and the meat inside seemed to be… brains. Specifically, the Girlfriend’s brains, along with other meat chunks of unknown origin. The kids drooled as the Lemon Demon served one heaping helping each in the three bowls. The kids and the Lemon Demon sat at the table, as the Lemon Demon smiled at them, “Now, what do we say, kids?” The kids responded, “Thank you, Father!” “Yeah, thank you for this yummy meal we’re about to have!” The Lemon Demon chuckled, “You’re welcome, kids. Now, eat up before it gets cold!” And together, as a family, the three of them enjoyed a nice meal of Girlfriend Stew.
As they ate, Skid and Pump thought about who they’d have a meal with next. Skid then spoke up, “Father, there have been some kids bullying us lately.” The Lemon Demon perked up at this, “Oh? Well, that’s no good. And do you know what we do to bullies?” Skid smiled, “The same thing we do to everyone else who looks delicious, Father!” Pump finished, “We eat ‘em up!” The Lemon Demon nodded, “That’s right. How about tomorrow, after breakfast… you two go find these three, and you can have a nice three-course meal! How does that sound?” Skid and Pump gasped, then squealed with glee, “Really? Thank you, thank you, thank you!” The Lemon Demon chuckled, “Alright, now you kids better finish up with the Boyfriend after you’re done eating, we don’t want any rotting corpses lying about, do we?”
The kids shook their heads, “No, Father.” And with that, the three continued their meal, occasionally they helped themselves to seconds… and even thirds. But soon enough, they were done, and whatever they didn’t eat, they simply put away. Be it in the fridge and freezer, or buried deep within the ground. After dinner, the Spookeez went to bed, dreaming of all the fun they were gonna have tomorrow. And of course, the payback that those nasty bullies were gonna get…