Chapter Text
I sit on the couch with Riley and she has her wrapped around me.
"So you're officially done?" She asks.
"Yeah, I mean Josh is never going to like me back so why bother?" I say depressingly.
"I'm sorry peaches" she says.
"Its okay, I have you and that's all I need" I say hugging her. Our hug is interrupted when Josh comes through the door and greets us.
"Hi Maya hi Riley" he says sitting next to me.
"Hi Josh" Riley says. I give a small wave and he gives me a confused look.
"Where's Maya and what have you done with her?" He asks.
"Why would you care?" I mumble.
"Excuse me?" He asks. Riley gives me a slight nudge and I have to play along for Riley.
"I mean what did you expect?" I ask.
"Well I don't know but usually you're really happy and have this bright smile that lights up the whole room including my day," he trails off. "And you're usually hugging me tugging on my arm or on my back."
"Well you didn't like it so I stopped, that's what you wanted wasn't it?" I ask.
"But-" I cut him off.
"No need I'm just gonna let myself out" I say getting up.
"I thought you were sleeping over?" Riley asks.
"Yeah but I don't want to come in between you and Josh catching up. Don't worry I'll come back" I say.
"Well where are you going?" Josh asks worriedly.
"To topangas I thought I might hang out with the guys so you two could catch up" I say. I open the door but Riley pulls me back and closes the door.
"Riley what're you doing?" I ask.
"I'm not letting you leave" she says.
"Why not?" I ask.
"If you can prove to me that you're not insane for him anymore we will leave to hang out with the guys just you and me okay?" She whispers. I nod and sit back down.
"Okay" I say.
"So why did you want me to do all of those things that you don't like me doing?" I ask.
"Well I was just so used to them by now I thought that's just how it always was" he answers.
"But you told me that I couldn't like you because we were 3 years apart" I say.
"Oh I did say that didn't I?" He says sighing. I turn to Riley and give her the look and she nods. We get up and head out the door but Josh comes with us so he isn't alone. When we get there we're talking with the guys and Josh is just staring spefically at me. No matter how hard I try to move on from him it seems like something happens to push me closer to him. After a half hour Lucas puts his arm around me even though I don't really like him that much. I look to my left and Josh is staring at me with pain and defeat in his eyes, I can't take it anymore. I take Lucas' arm off of me and take Riley's hand and start to walk out.
"Come Riley we're leaving" I say. Josh gets up to follow but Lucas pushes him out of the way and comes to me.
"I'm sorry Maya I didn't mean to take it that far" he says.
"No don't be, really I just sorted out my feelings and I'm sorry but I don't like you as much as I thought I did. I'm sorry." I say dragging Riley away. I have to fight back the tears that I'm getting because I don't know what to feel anymore. I hear someone running to catch up with us God I hope it's not Lucas. I stop walking and so does Riley and it's Josh that's running. He catches up and puts his arm around me for comfort, these feelings really aren't going to go away are they? We walk home and Riley goes to her room to "get something" but I know she did this so Josh and I are alone.
"Hey I'm really sorry for what happened in there" he says hugging me. Even though I try not to go insane I hug him back he should at least get something. He let's go and we're just standing there and he suddenly kisses me. When he let's go I'm happy but sad but furious and it's confusing me. I push him away from me but I didn't want to.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask.
"Doing what? This is what you wanted this what I want!" He says.
"You say you like me but you don't or at least that's what I think I don't know!" I yell holding my head.
"Calm down Maya! Just because I like you doesn't mean you have to be so confused." He says.
"You don't like me!" I yell.
"Yes I do!" He yells.
"Thats not how it works one of us is crazy and the other is sane!" I yell louder.
"Then maybe I'm the crazy one right now" he says.
"What?" I ask. He pulls me by my neck and kisses me again, and this one will not ignored. I kiss him back and when we let go for air our foreheads are pressed up against each others and he smiles.
"I told you I was the crazy one here" he whispers. "I like you a lot, and that's never gonna change"
"But you're older" I say jokingly.
"Are you serious right now?" He asks jokingly.
"No but I'm serious about this" I say.
"Serious about wh-" I cut him off and kiss him, I wish it could be like this forever.