Chapter Text
She had been watching him for the longest time, observing him from afar, with his tall, lanky frame, the forearms which would show from time to time when he reached up to write something on the board, and it was all so sexy. His blue eyes were luminous, and intense whenever he poured upon one equation to the other. His lips moved in the rhythm with his vast vocabulary, almost dancing on the words and hypnotizing her. She loved the way he talked, loved the confidence in his strides, the way he held himself high, just as he should. He was a man of superior intellect, a man blessed with the knowledge of the world...
A man she could never have.
Day after day, she watched him, wishing she had the courage to approach him and confess her feelings, but memories of heartache proved to be a tangible obstacle, and so she was left with simply watching.
Watching. And waiting. Knowing full well he would never look at her the way a man should look at a woman.
For that matter, he never even looked at another human being as such.
To her, he was a god; meant to be worshipped, never meant to be tamed. But oh, it was torment, to be so close to him everyday, but held back by the past. And as days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months, she knew she had to find some way to end her agony.
She had to have him.
By hook or by crook, she had to have him.
With determination lodged in her spine, she pulled off the ad she had been staring at off the bulletin board and hurried into one of the offices, slamming the door to catch the occupant's attention. Sure enough, a head of brunette curls lifted from behind the computer monitor, the face frowning at the disturbance.
"Ms. Nowitzki. To what do I owe the honor?"
Ramona Nowitzki ignored the obvious disdain in Dr. Leslie Winkle's voice. "Dr. Winkle, it's about the ad you put up."
Leslie gave a fleeting glance at the paper in Ramona's hand. "Read it again, Ms. Nowitzki. I specifically requested a male for the experiment."
"And that's why I'm here. I know the perfect guinea pig for it." Ramona couldn't stop herself from licking her lips. "Dr. Sheldon Cooper."
The bored look on Leslie's face was replaced by what could pass for shock. "Dr. Cooper? You want me to make Dr. Dumb-ass Cooper the subject for my libido enhancer experiment?"
Ramona nodded vigorously, her lips stretching into a wide smile. She had to grit her teeth with Leslie's foul tongue, but she knew she had to stay on THIS doctor's good side. "Yes. He would be the perfect candidate to test the effectivity of your serum. He has thus far, shown no interest in the opposite sex. With him as your subject, you would be able to garner more accurate results, don't you think?"
Ramona watched Dr. Winkle's lips twist. She was reconsidering, Ramona thought with glee.
"And Ms. Nowitzki, how do you suppose I get Dr. Dumb-ass to agree?"
"That's where I come in." Ramona took a deep breath to calm herself. She was going to have to get used to Dr. Winkle's besmirching the man of her dreams if she were to make her dreams come true. "He doesn't necessarily have to know. I believe it's always best to observe a subject in the most natural setting. I can find a way to get the serum in him. The one you're working on can be ingested, right? I can even help you monitor the results."
"Help me monitor?" Leslie squinted before a flicker of understanding sparked in her eyes. "I see what's going on here. You want Dr. Dumb-ass to engage in coitus with you."
"Oh, more than anything!" Ramona squealed, but at the look on Dr. Winkle's face, she calmed herself. "I mean, if the experiment results into that, then I wouldn't be opposed to it."
Leslie nodded, her thumb and forefinger stroking her chin. "You do realize, Ms. Nowitzki, that even if this is Dumb-ass Cooper we're talking about, subjecting him unknowingly to an experiment would not only be unethical, but unlawful as well?"
"My lips shall be forever sealed on this matter." Ramona dragged her thumb and forefinger across her lips, as though closing a zipper. "And on the off chance that someone finds out, I give your my word I will never implicate you."
Leslie began pacing in front of her desk. "Now, let's say the experiment is a success and you achieve coitus with him. What if someone, oh say, a physicist who happens to be Dr. Dumb-ass's arch enemy leaks the scandal to the university authorities. Would you be a willing participant to discrediting him and having him kicked out of the university without the possibility of ever getting another decent job?"
Ramona barely blinked. "But I get to have sex with him, right?"
"A good enough answer." Leslie smiled and held out her hand to Ramona. "You're on."