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“Are we theeerrre yet?” Danny drawled out from the back seat.
Vlad gripped the steering wheel tighter and replied through clenched teeth, “We’ll get there when we get there.”
Danny rested his head against the backseat with a loud, drawn out groan. He continued to groan and moan repeatedly, causing a capillary to burst in Vlad’s temple with every time.
“Do you need something?” Vlad forced out.
“I need to pee,” he said.
“No, you don’t.”
“Do you want to bet? I can piss all over your expensive car.”
The paranoid part of Vlad’s brain glimpsed at the rearview mirror to make sure the teen wasn’t about to act out his threat. “I saw you use the bathroom before we left.”
Danny let out an exaggerated gasp and said, “You saw me in the bathroom? Are you a kidnapper and a pervert?”
“No! I didn’t see you in there, I--” He cut himself off as soon as he realized that Danny was being unbearable on purpose. He gnashed his teeth, glaring through the mirror at Danny. “Just be quiet until we get home.”
“But I’m booooored. Don’t you have any good music?”
Pushed to his limit, Vlad stopped the car and turned in his seat to look at him. “You do know I'm kidnapping you right now, right?”
Danny looked down at the combination lock trapping him in his phase-proof seat belt. He pretended to be surprised and gasped out, “Oh shit, are you? I thought we were on a road trip.”
Vlad pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know you're trying to annoy me into letting you go.”
“Is it working?” asked Danny with a grin.
“No. I’m taking you to my lab, and there's nothing you can do about it.”
Danny shrugged against his constraints and told him, “You know if you adopt me as your son, I'm just going to be like this every day.”
The weight of his words sunk into Vlad’s conscience, and for the first time, he hesitated in his plan to take in Danny as his own. He had been seduced by the idea of mentoring the fellow half-ghost as his apprentice, but he hadn’t stopped to think about the implications of living with him permanently…listening to those horrid puns of his for every morning of every day of every year…
Vlad shook his head and pushed those doubts away. He would find a way to discipline him. All that mattered now was taking Jack's son away from him.
When Vlad ignored him and turned back to take the wheel, Danny sighed and slumped in disappointment. A few seconds passed in silence, then Danny asked, “Do we have snacks?”
Vlad continued to ignore him, keeping his eyes on the road.
Danny leaned forward as far as his constraints could allow, until his head was by Vlad's ear. He began to hum a tune.
Vlad slowly turned his head to squint at him. “Are you fucking rickrolling me?”
Danny grinned and continued to hum Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up .
Vlad turned away from him and slowly rested his head against the wheel. “I should have captured you in a plane instead.”
“Are we there yet?” asked Danny for the hundredth time.
Vlad suddenly screeched the car into a halt. He twisted in his seat with an ectoblast ready in his raised fist, aimed at Danny. Danny's mouth clamped shut.
“You should keep your eyes on the road,” Danny squeaked.
Vlad’s nostrils flared, and he bared his fangs at the teen. “I swear,” he growled, “if you dont stay quiet until we get home, I will--”
A knock sounded at the car window, and Vlad looked at who was outside. “Oh shit,” he muttered and quickly hid his ecto-powered hand. He righted himself in his seat and rolled down the window to greet the cop that stood by his car.
The policeman’s eyes widened when he saw Vlad. He stammered, “Mayor Masters, I didn’t know it was you!”
Vlad chuckled. “Yes, well, I did get a new car,” he replied, patting the vehicle he had specifically built to be phase-proof for Danny.
The cop cleared his throat and adjusted his belt before speaking, “Well, you were halting traffic, and I was wondering--is everything okay?”
Danny peeked his head out from the back and exclaimed, “Help, officer, this man is kidnapping me! I--”
Vlad slapped a hand over Danny’s mouth and pushed him back. He gave a forced smile in response to the officer’s bewildered one.
“Teenagers, they jest,” Vlad said with a laugh.
“Isn’t that the Fentons’ kid?” the cop asked.
Vlad was silent for a minute. Then he put the car into gear and slammed the accelerator, driving as fast away from the law as possible.
Yeah, he definitely should have kidnapped Danny in a plane.