Chapter Text
Of all things Yakko Warner planned on doing on just another average Tuesday morning, the last thing he ever thought was being sucked down the old sewer system and coughing water out of his lungs like there was no tomorrow. He could feel hard concrete beneath his gloved hands, which at first led him to believe that he was still in the Burrow, but then he had to look up, and oh, what a mistake that was.
“Who turned on the lights?” he groaned, shielding the intense light with one hand and using the other for support. Never had he seen a light so bright in his life. They must have repaired one of the overhead lights in the Burrow…but still. The world around him seemed too bright and too hot for it to still be the Burrow. The Burrow was dark and cool, no way could the concrete beneath him feel like the surface of a warm pan…Then he realized…
“The Surface…” It came out of his mouth so quivered and foreign. The stark realization sent a jolt throughout his body, of course, he had to shiver on impact. “I’m on the Surface!”
The Surface, a place forbidden to him and any burrow person ever. Though he vaguely recalled venturing through it once, that was then and this was now. Back then, the lights in the sky weren’t so bright and he felt like the atmosphere wasn’t this hot; he’d probably be sweating a storm had he not been completely soaked in sewer water.
“Which means,” he observed, slowly moving his quivering hand away from his line of vision, “that must be the sun.”
Ah yes, the giant star in the sky that warmed the Earth and supplied the living creatures and plants with nutrients, which frankly, Yakko lacked due to living underground all his life. Yakko was well aware of what the sun was, and unfortunately, he was told looking at it could cause blindness which was why burrow people avoided going to the Surface in the first place.
Yet despite struggling to look at it for the past five minutes, he could still see. Yakko could still see the stained velvet of his gloves in front of his face, he could still see the sun’s rays beaming down at him, and he could still see that the giant star rested in a vast plane that was called the sky. Okay, so the sun couldn’t permanently blind you, but it was a pain to look at while it glared at you with its shiny teeth.
Yakko stopped to think for a moment, looking back at the ground and allowing his eyes to continue adjusting to the sun. He thought frantically as to where he was and what was happening. No doubt about it, he was on the Surface, which he already well established. Where on the Surface was now the question, and how was he going to get back to the Acme Burrow?
Once he could see more clearly, Yakko shook his fur like a wet dog and looked to where the sewer water’s source was coming from. There wasn’t a whole lot around him, not like earlier where it completely engulfed him and pushed him down the pipes further and further away from his home and people. He looked behind him as he heard the water trickling from its source; it sounded more like a light creek rather than a rushing waterfall.
Oh great, the entrance to the pipe was clogged with a bunch of gravel and debris. Yakko rushed over to the dense pile, trying to see if he could pry his way through. He could reach into his hammerspace and grab a drill or a jackhammer, but what would that do? Once he unclogged that debris, more water would only shoot back at him. Was he really going to climb back up that stinking pipe just to get back to his Burrow? He already hated that his brown jumpsuit reeked of the stench.
As the toon pondered some more, a part of him realized that there was something of even greater concern than his predicament.
Wakko!
His brother. His little kid brother who always looked up to him and followed him like a curious shadow. The one who he jumped into the roaring stream in the first place to rescue before both of them were sucked into the sewer. All around him, from the clogged drain pipe to the concrete ground, to the vines that tangled the landscape and the bright sun that continued beaming down at him, Wakko was nowhere to be seen.
Yakko had to find his brother and quick. Not only was the sun and uncertainty what gave the Surface its bad reputation, but so did its dangerous creatures that scattered the landscape like hordes of cockroaches. The Mutes and Mega Mutes as they were called. Though Yakko had the chance to see some up close when he was younger, he couldn’t imagine what Wakko would do if he was ever in the same situation.
“Wakko!” Yakko found himself calling out. “Wakko, where are you?! Give me a holler or something…”
Nothing. Absolute complete silence. With no one around, as well as no brother to talk to, Yakko was nearly on the brink of insanity. Not only was there no way he was getting back to the Acme Burrow anytime soon, but now his brother, pretty much the only family he had left, was missing.
Well now that he thought about it, he did remember that the pipe broke off in two different directions. Yakko went down one path while Wakko was forced down the other. If he could figure out where exactly the other path led, then likely he would also find Wakko too.
Okay, so that was the plan! Then after he’d find Wakko and the two would convene, then they’d try and figure out how to get back to the Burrow. Not to mention, if Wakko’s pipe wasn’t all clogged, then maybe they could try climbing back up through his…
Though his jumpsuit continued to reek and Yakko decided that it’d probably be best if they found a different way back to their Burrow. Besides, the sewer systems couldn’t have led them that far from home, right? Maybe they were only a mile away and all they had to do was head in one direction until they’d hit it. Then they’d be home, and safe, and content, and surrounded by so many familiar faces that they’ve come to know and love, and never would they ever find themselves in such a lonely yet dangerous place.
Yakko took one giant breath of fresh air, breathing in its sweet nutrients, and mustered all the courage he had to go look for his brother. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but just like the Burrow, he also hoped that his brother wasn’t too far away either.
-----
Talk about rough. The toon thought to himself as he ventured through the cracked streets of the city. Clearly, the place had seen better days, which to his knowledge, was over two hundred years ago. To think that humans and toons once casually walked the Surface without fear of being eaten alive or fear of gazing into the burning sun. It was also hard to believe that all these tall buildings that loomed over him like decaying carcasses wrapped in vines were where they once occupied. The Acme Burrow had its fair share of buildings, but those were smaller and were made completely out of metal, so they could withstand the unbearable might of the sporadic mute-quakes.
Yakko had lived through some pretty intense mute-quakes, but none were as powerful as this one. It almost felt like the Burrow was being ripped apart inside out. Hopefully, everyone was okay, it was hard to tell considering that he was drowning for the majority of it. What were they doing before then?
Ah yes, Wakko was attempting to reach the Burrow’s ceiling by climbing up the cave’s walls. Yakko was impressed, he had to admit. Wakko may not have been the intellectual, but he definitely was the creative of the brothers. Meanwhile, Yakko watched from down below, making sure he’d be there to catch Wakko, or maybe have a laugh if he didn’t succeed—depends on how he felt at the moment.
Then suddenly it hit. Yakko barely had a moment to react before Wakko was tossed off the cliff and landed into the restless stream that flowed into the old sewer system. Usually, the water itself wasn’t so violent, but because of the mute-quake, the water immediately engulfed Wakko and dragged him away from the edge where Yakko was leaning out to grab him.
Yakko, though not the greatest swimmer, then dived in after him, hoping to grab him and get them back towards the side before they were both sucked into the sewers. All around him, he could hear the screams of his fellow Burrow people as the quake persisted, the brothers not being the only ones caught off-guard by the conundrum.
Yakko!
It’s okay, Wakko! I got ya! Just a little further—
Suddenly, he could feel the water shift around them and the sudden jerk sent both brothers down the pipes and through the tunnels of the old sewer system. Yakko kept his head up for as much as he could, making sure to keep Wakko in his line of vision and making sure to stay afloat. He remembered how dark it was and how nasty that water tasted. Even now, the nasty taste of that water lingered on his tongue as much as the smell persisted off his jumpsuit. He also remembered the frantic expression in Wakko’s eyes as he tried to get closer to him.
When Yakko had finally caught up to Wakko and both of them were merely arms lengths away from each other, the water once more shifted and the two were forced down two opposite directions. If Yakko could remember correctly, he felt as if the pipe took him down a right, and then a very long left, and then veered back to a right again. He believed this was the case, though maybe he was all turned around thanks to thrashing around in the pipe and constantly coughing up water. Either way, once he came to he was drenched and completely alone in this strange new world.
“Wakko?!” Yakko called. “Are you out here?!” I hope you are.
Yakko felt entirely helpless. The Surface was definitely bigger than the Acme Burrow and more open. The Acme Burrow was legit a cave that the ones who retreated to the underground made their home-- echoing walls, stalagmites with water dripping from their tips-- the occasional cave atmosphere. The place was also bunched close together, the buildings, the walls, the people. Compared to being here on the Surface, their home was suffocating, but he knew it was also safe. At least in the Burrow, Yakko knew he and Wakko were safe and protected, while out here, he felt unsure and vulnerable.
For one, the flowers out here were ten times bigger than the flowers seen in his old history books. Weren’t they only supposed to come up to your ankles? Though they were beautiful and vibrant, they also nearly over-towered Yakko and the buildings that they wrapped around. The curious toon recognized them as hibiscus flowers.
“Now these are some flowers,” Yakko commented as he craned his body to peer into one.
Immediately, Yakko was met with another surprise from the Surface when he noticed a couple of bees hanging out in the flower. Like the flowers, these bees were way bigger than the bees that were seen in his history books. They also wore leather jackets, and their eyes lit up with such bright, neon colors that nearly blinded Yakko. Not to mention, they made a really strange sound. Was that dubstep he was hearing? Dubstep bees? Now that was definitely weird.
The bees then flew out from the flower and danced around Yakko, their eyes changing colors even quicker and their dubstep buzzing nearly flooding his ears. Likely it was their way of warning him to back off or else. Yakko knew from his books that bees stung bigger animals if provoked and that one little sting was also capable of causing immense pain and allergic reactions. He didn’t wish to see what one sting from these bees could do to him.
“Sorry about that,” he nervously chuckled. “Guess I’ll just bee heading on my way.” In response, he only received a few more beats before he dashed off.
What a shame? Did the Surface not have a sense of humor? He thought that little joke of his was pretty funny. Regardless, he had to keep moving. Hopefully, Wakko was having less of a worrisome time than he was. He also hoped that he hadn’t encountered anything that was dangerous or hungry for that matter.
Oh, who was he kidding? If anything, he’d be surprised if Wakko hadn’t eaten everything that crossed in his line of vision. Whether it was edible or inedible, Wakko stopped at nothing to get his next meal-- he thought more with his gut than his head. Honestly, Yakko should have been more worried about the mutes who encountered his little bro on an empty stomach.
As he was thinking to himself, he hadn’t really thought about what he would do if he ever came across a group of mutes. Talk his way out of the situation? Hoped they liked his sense of humor? Maybe they’d keel over and die laughing, giving him a chance to slip away? But why would he even think about leaving when he could just continue enticing them? Maybe they’d be fascinated that he was from one of the last Burrows in the world-- at least as far as he knew, the Acme Burrow was one of the last. Yakko hoped that they were friendlier than what he had been told.
Prior to the event that took place two hundred years ago, all the mutes of the Surface used to be small creatures that either lived in the ocean, flew in the sky, or walked on four legs. The only thing they did on a daily basis was scavenge for food, nestle in burrows, mate to create offspring, and do all they could to survive in a climate that wasn’t as harsh as today. Then suddenly, a virus appeared that changed their genetic makeup. They grew in size, grew in intelligence and started walking, talking, and acting like humans.
Then there were also a couple of other variants in the “mute” cluster, some that were capable of living long and eternal lives—most of these being giant bugs – and others that nearly over-towered the abandoned skyscrapers, with extra eyes, extra tails, extra heads, and extra legs, which were referred to as “megamutes” due to their gigantic size. The megamutes were the reason why the burrow people had to be wary of mutequakes. Who knew if these creatures were even aware that they were walking over an entire civilization of people? Yakko doubted it. It didn’t seem like they could see past their kneecaps.
Though Yakko looked as if he could fit in with the mutes, he technically wasn’t one. He was a toon, animated beings that had thrived long before the era of the mutes. They already knew how to walk, talk, and act like humans without any strange mutation infecting their minds. As far as Yakko knew, he and Wakko were some of the only toons left in the world. Of course, there were also their parents, but it had been years since they were left in the care of Dr. Otto von Scratchansniff, and at this point, he figured they were dead. They too had ventured to the Surface, probably walking in this very city like he was. Maybe unsure of themselves, frantic, scared, completely alone. It scared him to think about what got to his parents that prevented them from ever returning home to their wondering children. Probably enslaved, beaten, or eaten alive by the very mutes that he was trying to avoid.
Suddenly, Yakko heard something scuttling near him. He could feel the fur on his tail bristle at the thought of one of those mutated freaks watching him, preparing to make its move. It seemed small from the outline he could make out darting between two moldy crates, though, that wasn't reassuring whether that was a good thing or not.
“Uhhhhh…Who’s there?” Ah, the classic question someone would ask when faced with unknown terror. How did he not think to be more prepared in this situation?
Yakko reached behind him to access his hammerspace, bringing out his trusty mallet. “Listen, I have a mallet, and I’m not afraid to use it.” Maybe he could talk with it before doing anything. Not only did he hate this fear of uncertainty, but he also hated being the only one talking. At least a nod or something was enough to reassure him that he wasn’t just talking to a blank space.
Nothing. Not even a sound could be heard. He didn’t know what this thing wanted. At least it was small and would be easy to whack if it got too close and personal. He could feel sweat pouring down his head, but honestly, he’d been sweating since his jumpsuit completely dried off. It still smelled, unfortunately.
Yakko held the mallet up high, prepared to smash whatever was watching him. He could hear the thing grunting-- maybe it was a pig? Yakko knew what pigs sounded like thanks to the old history vids he watched, and he also knew what they looked like too. Fat creatures with stumpy legs, flat noses, and curly tails. They were an excellent food source back in ancient times and ate just as much as Wakko. Hopefully, he stumbled across one of those rather than its unruly and feral cousin, the boar.
Even having his mallet ready and his eyes glued onto the thing that snorted, Yakko still felt unprepared for what walked out towards him.
“Hey there, little guy.” Yakko greeted, slowly lowering his mallet. Stumpy legs, flat nose, cloven feet, curly tail…It was a pig. The pig sniffed at the ground, letting out a snort as it walked towards Yakko. “So my assumption was correct. You must be a pig—“ Then he saw it look up at him with not one, but two pairs of eyes.
“Woah, what the—!“ Yakko was taken so aback that he landed on his seat, his mallet still close to his side. The pigs described in the old history vids weren’t supposed to have that many eyes, nor were they supposed to be blue like this little oinker right here.
“Looks like somebody’s got one too many eyes—“ then the pig turned, revealing that it also had an extra pair of legs, “and maybe one too many feet as well, am I right?” The fur on its body also looked weird, kind of like the hair on a spider’s legs. “Heh heh. You almost look like some kind of spider…like some spider-pig. Yeah, that’s what I’ll call ya." The pig snorted happily at that.
Suddenly, just as Yakko reached to pet it, the pig’s ears perked up, and it let out a startled squeal. Despite that the pig wasn’t looking directly at Yakko with all four of its big eyes, the pig lurched back and made a run for it.
“Hey, where are you going?!” Yakko managed to pull himself up just as the pig turned to a corner and was completely out of sight, leaving him alone in this wasteland once more.
“So much for a guide.” He dusted himself off, despite that his clothes were frayed and still mucky from his trip down the sewer. “Now how am I supposed to figure out where to find my bro?”
Suddenly, something tackled him to the ground. Yakko barely had a moment to react. “H-hey! What’s the big idea?!”
"Found you!” a high rugged voice sang from above him.
Yakko recognized this voice. He heard it the minute he woke up in the morning, he heard it following alongside him as he’d run errands in town or attend his daily lessons at school, and he especially heard it when it was late at night and Scratchy would be working late again and needed Yakko to tuck it in at night.
“WAKKO!”
It was almost more like a forced gasp. “You’re here! I found you!” Yakko laughed hysterically as he clutched onto his younger sib. He was no longer alone, and Wakko was safe. That little shadow who looked no different than he did with his blue jumpsuit and his chubby little face, and that long tongue of his sticking out. He was still in one piece.
“Actually bro, it was me who found you,” Wakko interjected. “Though actually, I was chasing after that pig. I was hoping I’d catch it.”
“And when you caught it, you were planning to...?” Yakko then set his little brother down.
“Pet it. It looked really cuddly. Then I was gonna eat it.”
“Despite that it’s a freak of nature and probably poisonous?”
Wakko let out a chuckle, “Never stopped me before.” The boy then looked down at his gut, placing a gloved paw on it. “I’m starving.”
“And when are you not?”
“True.”
Yakko got up. “Well, now that I found you, let’s figure out how to get back to the Burrow.”
“So soon?” Wakko whined. “But we just got here.”
“And the more we stay up here, the more danger we could run into.”
“Relax. The only thing I’ve seen since I got here was that pig, which is now gone.” Tears flooded the younger toon's eyes and he looked like a kicked puppy. “All I wanted to do was pet its strange little fur...”
“And the most we wanna run into is that pig. I mean, have you seen the flowers? And don’t get me started on those dubstep bees…”
“Dubstep bees?”
“Precisely,” Yakko agreed. “Which is why you and I need to find a way back to the Burrow, and hopefully one that doesn’t involve us climbing back up the pipes.”
Wakko grunted. “You couldn’t convince me to climb up those pipes even if you bribed me with a sandwich.”
Yakko then walked off-screen, returning wheeling in a chalkboard and placing it before the two brothers. With a long piece of chalk, he drew out a long white path on the board. “Now let’s see…So the direction the pipe took me in was a right, then a very long left, and thennnn...another sharp right...Which could only mean…?"
“That you went in a long, crooked zig-zag?” Wakko answered.
“No, no. I mean, well uhhhhh…guess I’m trying to figure out which way we need to go to reach the Burrow.”
“But how can you tell when we went through the pipes?”
“Wellll…I mean..." The older Warner brother then let out a sigh. "It was a good thought, but I think you have a point.” Yakko then shoved the chalkboard off-screen, never to be seen again. “I think we just need to keep walking until eventually we'll hit it."
“And what if we don’t?”
“Well, I’m sure that they have someone looking for us. I mean, you remember that time Mindy escaped to the Surface and Buttons chased after her?"
“Yeah, but it’s not like anyone knew about it and went looking for them.” Wakko then pondered some more. “But boy, did her parents give Plotz quite the yelling.”
“So much so, that Plotz has to issue a search and rescue if all citizens aren’t counted for. I'll betcha li’l bro that they have a party looking for us right now. I mean, how could they forget a bunch of wonderful faces like ours?”
-----
Elsewhere.
“Yakko and Wakko are missing?” Plotz inquired.
“Duuuh, yes sir,” Ralph elaborated. “Last they were seen, they fell into the stream and went down the old sewer system.”
“Perfect! That’s the best news I’ve heard all day!” Regardless of not being in ear-shot of anyone besides his second-in-command, Plotz still felt like blaring that out.
“But sir, aren’t we supposed to issue a search and rescue if all citizens aren’t accounted for? And Yakko and Wakko are the only ones not counted for, so…”
“A search and rescue?! Nobody has time for a search and rescue right now! If they had listened to Burrow protocol, then they would have been here. We can’t just stop everything for two lousy kids!”
Then he leaned in closer to Ralph, the bigger man having to bend down to stoop to his level. “Besides, the more we distance ourselves from the Warner Brothers, the better.”
The curmudgeon of a burrow leader then clasped his hands together, taking in the delight that now things were going to be much easier for everyone in the Acme Burrow and especially him now that the Warner Brothers were gone, and hopefully, for good.
-----
“I guess you’re right,” Wakko agreed with his older brother, looking a little glum saying that. “I was just hoping that we could stay up here a little longer. It’s so nice and roomy. I would rather live here than in the Burrow.”
Yakko pondered for a moment. He wanted to get him and Wakko somewhere safe as soon as possible, but Wakko did have a point. With being on the Surface for more than an hour and getting that feeling of being somewhere open, mysterious, and free—why were they in such a hurry to go back to the crammed Burrow? It’s not like they encountered anything dangerous like Scratchy said they would.
“But ya know,” Yakko said eyeing Wakko, “it could take them a while to find us. And while we’re out here, I mean, why not have some fun while we’re at it?”
Wakko’s eyes lit up and his tail wagged excitedly. “You mean that?!”
“Let’s go have ourselves a little adventure. And then when we get back, we can tell everyone all about it.”
Suddenly, a huge snort came from the distance. Yakko and Wakko looked to see it was the strange blue pig again, watching the brothers curiously and determining whether they were threats or not.
“Hey look, It’s that pig!” Wakko exclaimed, then he started running towards it. “Here piggie, piggie! Come to papa!”
Immediately, the pig bolted off again, only this time, Wakko was intent on catching it. “You can run,” Wakko directed towards it, “but I will find you…And I will pet you.”
Yakko felt like he was going to facepalm with Wakko’s obvious Taken reference, but he was too much in a hurry chasing after Wakko who was chasing after that pig.
“Wakko, come back!” he called. “We don’t even know where that pig is going!”
“It’s heading towards my stomach, that’s what!”
As the pig quickened its pace, Wakko got down on all fours and gained up on it like the little animal he was. Yakko however continued running on both his hind legs, chasing after his brother like some exhausted owner chasing after their runaway pet.
Eventually, Yakko’s legs began to tire and he eventually stopped to take a very heavy breath. At this point, he found that they were no longer in the city and now in a forested area. Nothing but tall trees and dense shrubbery surrounded him, making it even more difficult to run on two legs. Nevertheless, he needed to continue chasing Wakko, who was now no longer in sight. Once again, Wakko was missing and Yakko had to go find him. Guess that was the theme of the day.
“Wakko! Come back!”
Suddenly, a high-pitched squeal came from the distance. Likely, it came from that pig and Wakko was successful. Thank heavens! That meant Yakko could finally catch up with him. He noted to himself that he’d exercise more whenever they got back to the Burrow.
Yakko followed the sound of the pig’s distressed squeals, which were becoming less frequent the closer he got. Either Wakko managed to get the pig to calm down, or he was trying to figure out how to eat it; Yakko never knew what was on his brother’s mind. At least lucky for him, the pig's squeals completely died down just as he brushed through a couple of bushes and found them. The only problem was, he found them curled up in a trap. A very well-constructed trap.
“Wakko,” Yakko said as he walked towards the trap, “what did you get yourself into?”
“Don’t know,” Wakko only responded, “but I finally got the pig.”
“You don’t say.” Yakko couldn't help but be amused at Wakko not freaking out about being caught in a trap.
The younger Warner brother then proceeded to pet the pig on the top of its head. It seemed really fond of that and leaned closer for him to scratch behind its ears. “I think I’ll call you Bacon.”
“A pig named Bacon, how original.” I think spider-pig was just as good.
“You think Scratchy would mind if we brought her back with us? I think Bacon would fit right in at the Burrow.”
“Yeah, that is if Ralph doesn’t think she’ll live up to her name.”
“Hey! If anyone’s eating this pig, it’s me!” A frightened expression appeared in the pig's eyes. “When I’ll do it, I’ve yet to figure that out.”
“Well how about I spring you two loose before you get a little too comfy.” Yakko followed the rope. He saw that it was tied to a nearby stake— all beautifully wrapped in a bow—and went to untie it.
Before he barely found his fingers pinched against the loops and prepared to tear them loose, a high-pitched voice growled behind him. “Get away from my trap.”
Yakko turned just as a small figure stood before him holding what appeared to be a giant stinger right at his face.