Chapter Text
“DCI Joanne Davidson?” A sharp yet soft voice pierced through the silence of the room.
DI Kate Fleming had recently transferred to the Murder Investigation Team, having previously been a part of an anti-corruption unit, the well known AC-12. She was apprehensive to be introduced to her new boss but a large part of her was excited for the change.
However, she wasn’t expecting a shorter woman who’s hair effortlessly rested on her shoulders, a natural curl emphasising her jawline to emerge from her office. She opted for a side parting, which was less common, something Kate had recently observed when her gaze wandered to other women.
She automatically acknowledged that her boss had been a detective for a considerable while, if the permanent darkening under her eyes that even vast amounts of concealer couldn’t hide were anything to go by. Despite the visible stress that bathed her entire expression, Kate had to admit to herself, the woman was stunning, extraordinarily so.
“Hello, can I help you?” Scottish. As if she wasn’t swept off her feet enough. Kate joined the police force for the diversity and ability to work with anyone and everyone, so accents never failed to impress her.
“I’m DI Kate Fleming, I’m new to the unit.” She politely extended her hand, which her boss accepted with a smile. Her handshake was firm yet also surprisingly comforting.
“Pleasure to meet you Kate. I think we will enjoy working together.” Clearly she meant within the station but Kate couldn’t resist the small smile that crept onto her lips.
“I agree. Where can I start?” She knew there wouldn’t be any large cases immediately, since murder wasn’t as common as television shows portrayed.
“Sergeant Jatri will be able to assist you through your first day. We are currently investigating the murder of a Mr Hadland but it seems almost blindingly obvious that it was his wife.” Kate could have sworn she saw the brunette roll her eyes and darted her eyes elsewhere as not to laugh.
“Thank you, boss.” She kept her reply simple and made her way over to the vacant desk, slipping her coat onto the back of the chair and handbag onto the floor.
“So you’re the newbie?” A younger woman spun her chair to face the inspector.
“That would be me, are you Sergeant Jatri?” She already knew the answer, as she was the only other woman in the station, besides her boss.
“I am. I’m assuming Davidson assigned you to me for your first day?” Kate had been on the force long enough to automatically analyse body language and she could see that the woman opposite her clearly had an interest in their boss.
“You would be correct. She said something about a marriage murder.” Kate hadn’t intended to mumble, it was simply that her mind was currently elsewhere, a place it shouldn’t be. Before allowing it to wander any further, she diverted her undivided attention to the woman in front of her and began one of many tedious days investigating the nature of an affair that had gone too far.
——————-——————-——————-——————-
Jo immediately retired to the comfort of her office after her introduction with the new detective. She had absorbed the younger woman’s features immediately, which she pinned on her detective’s nature and they became imprinted within her mind for the remainder of the day.
What had drawn the inspector to this particular detective? She couldn’t place it. However, she knew she had to shake the thoughts from her mind and continue her day as if nothing had happened. Nothing had happened.
Turning the key into the lock of her girlfriend’s house, she called out her name as she shuddered at the sudden warmth. Despite commuting by car, the short walks in the bitter February evening air were deeply unpleasant.
“Farida? Are you home?” She hung her coat onto the hook in the hallway and placed her handbag at the entrance to the living room.
“I’m up here.” A voice echoed off the walls. Jo sighed frustratedly, something she wasn’t aware she’d done until it had happened.
She slipped her boots off and tiptoed up the stairs, where she was met with her girlfriend sat on the bed, in tears.
“What happened?” Her accent somehow strengthened as she took a seat beside the woman she cared for.
“I saw the way you looked at her today.” Her words were intermittent, blocked by heavy sobs.
“Her?” The ‘r’ was emphasised as usual but her tone was bewildered nonetheless. Her girlfriend had always been... protective. Jo simply pinned it on a previous bad relationship or underlying trust issues. She didn’t want jealousy to destroy a relationship she had fought so hard to build.
“The new inspector... DI Fleming.” Jo was unable to
prevent the exasperated sigh that left her lips. She was patient with her girlfriend but sometimes it was purely irrational.
“It was her first day on the job. I spoke to her once, simply to welcome her to the station. That’s my job, Farida.” The detective hadn’t intended to sound harsh but she despised being controlled, something that was only becoming clearer, regarding the situation she was currently embedded in.
“But the way you looked at her! And you said ‘I think we will enjoy working together.’ You clearly like her.” Farida began to overanalyse the situation, an uncommon occurrence, and Jo, yet again, found herself playing defence.
“In a professional manner, Farida. She’s ex anti-corruption. It’ll be refreshing to have a different perspective on the team.” Jo forced her eyes to meet the chocolate one’s of her girlfriend’s.
“So, working with me isn’t refreshing?” Once again, Jo started to wonder if there was any point continuing this relationship, a thought that was becoming evermore frequent. The younger woman was evidently borderline obsessive but Jo took the easy route and simply brought their lips together in a careless kiss.
“Working with you isn’t refreshing, it’s home.” It was evidently a lie but it kept the uncontrollable emotions at bay and meant she could escape to pour a glass of wine in an attempt to drown her misery.
——————-——————-——————-——————-
Two months passed with no much as a friendly smile. Farida’s overprotective nature only worsened with time, as Jo would frequently return to the younger woman’s home to find her property vandalised in some way.
“Farida? What is wrong with you?!” Jo almost screamed in anger as she held up one of her favourite garments, which was now irreparable due to the rip slicing through the front half of it.
“You clearly don’t care for me, or anything! So what do you care that I ripped a dress?” Another screaming match began, but this time Jo terminated it before it had properly started.
“This... this behaviour.” The detective began, already exhausted from the double life she had led today. “It’s ridiculous. It’s unhealthy. Can’t you see it?”
When her girlfriend simply frowned in response, too nervous to neither confirm nor deny the accusation, Jo threw her hands in the air helplessly and followed her feet to the front door.
“Jo, where are you going?” The incessant buzzing traipsed behind her as she pulled the warmth of her coat over bare arms.
“Away. From here. From you.” This outburst had been simmering for the best part of 2 months, since the first time she had laid eyes on DI Fleming but she couldn’t admit that, not to Farida, not to herself.
“What do you mean? To hook up with your side piece?” Another possessive comment slipped from the younger woman’s lips and Jo threw her head against the wall behind her in frustration.
“Ow! Mother of God.” She muttered, the pain being sharper than she had anticipated.
Before her girlfriend could take another step closer she held up her hand and shook her head.
“No. And even if I were off to hook up with someone, they wouldn’t be my side piece. Because you.” Jo pointed spitefully at the woman across from her, “you and I, are done.”
Without another word, the chief inspector grabbed her handbag hastily and slammed the front door to the house she had formed so many memories in, good and bad.
——————————————————————————
She didn’t realise that tears were burning down her cheeks until she slipped under the concrete shelter of a multi-storey car park. This was the common meeting place for her and whoever she was expected to accept a package from.
Today, it consisted a pack of burner phones, with a post-it note attached. ‘Bury these in your sleaze of a girlfriend’s house.’ The scrawl made the brunette recoil. She wasn’t sure if it was the term ‘girlfriend’ or the adjective used to describe her.
Davidson knew that anybody could be watching so made the intelligent decision to pocket the bag and continue walking as if she never stopped.
In her haste, she had abandoned her car outside Sergeant Jatri’s house, rendering her helpless. She wouldn’t betray what little pride she had left so proceeded to amble in the direction of her own home... not that it felt very homely.
Her unit had recently been investigating the murder of a journalist. The whole situation was very tense for the DCI but she had to remain emotionless, otherwise her life wouldn’t be worth living... quite literally.
Her mind once again began to wander to thoughts of what would happen if she was uncovered for her involvement with the OCG but these intrusive thoughts were best left unattended.
Raindrops began to tickle Jo’s scalp which she inwardly cursed the world for. Her pace quickened, desperate to seek comfort but the pace of raindrops increased simultaneously. It didn’t take long for the rain to become torrential, a highlight of the country.
Tears were pricking at the chief inspector’s eyes as what felt like the final straw was pulled out of the shambles that was Jo Davidson’s life. However, a car horn forcefully dragged her back to reality as she sparked her head up to locate the vehicle that initiated the sound.
“Boss?” A familiar voice called out of the window of a well-maintained blue car. It halted next to the pavement where Jo was dripping wet, the remnants of her makeup smudged. She knew she looked horrific and seeing Kate Fleming in this state, was not admirable.
“Kate.” Respect was a basic courtesy and she owed it to the woman so she turned her footsteps towards the car. Luckily the road was deserted and no traffic was being held up.
It was evident on Kate’s face that she was slightly taken aback at the ghastly appearance her boss presented, it being such a vast contrast to the way she had looked only 2 hours prior.
“Boss, are you okay?” She voiced genuine concern, which touched the heartbroken brunette in a way but she just absent-mindedly nodded, as if any other answer was wrong.
Joanne Davidson had been raised in such a way that anything besides perfection was weakness and weakness set an individual up for inevitable failure. Failing was never an option.
She had drilled this mantra into her brain since an infant, she saw the logic behind it and the chances were, without it, she wouldn’t be where she was today.
Her job had downsides, being involved with organised crime being the current dilemma but she was proud of her achievements and her career was certainly respectable.
However, her family focussed solely on where she could improve, instead of appreciating what she had already achieved. This deeply angered the brunette and had done ever since she was a teenager, but the anger was eventually contained in small metaphorical boxes where she could close those feelings off from the world.
Weakness is failure. Failing is never an option.
“I’m fine. Thank you for asking Kate.” It was a lie and both parties knew it but it suggested to the DI that she needed to back off, Jo wasn’t going to talk.
“Can I at least give you a lift? I really don’t want you in the rain any longer, you’ll get hypothermia.” Kate used her hand to gesture to the seat next to her and luckily for the DI, Jo had very little energy to argue.
Huffing something incomprehensible, she tentatively stepped out into the road and swiftly swung into the passenger seat.
“Address?” Kate asked with a warm smile, opening google maps on her phone.
“Croxton Street.” Her reply was almost inaudible but Kate nodded and typed in the address, before setting her phone on the dashboard.
“How come you were walking in the rain?” Kate’s eyes didn’t drift from the road in front of her as the car began moving.
Joanne’s brain flooded with recall of the last hour. The breakup. The phones. The pain. Her hand protectively drifted to her pocket as her gaze fixed on her lap.
“I. Well....” She began, unsure whether this information was appropriate to discuss with her employee.
“I didn’t mean to push. You don’t have to tell me.” For the first time since Kate began driving, she momentarily tilted her head and flashed Jo a sympathetic smile. It was authentic, not just a courtesy and this sent a shiver through the elder detective’s body.
“No, it’s fine. You know Sergeant Jatri?” Jo almost wanted to prepare the woman for what she was about to say, at least that’s what she convinced herself.
“I do.” The reply was blunt but not cold, just a simple agreement.
“She and I, well.... we were dating.” Kate immediately gasped at the confession, something Jo couldn’t derive a reason for.
“Sorry boss! I didn’t mean to gasp like that. I knew she liked you but didn’t know you were together. And... were?” Her attention was still devoted to the road but her eyebrows were furrowed slightly.
“We were together for about a year, I’d recently moved in with her but, well... she was, possessive to say the least.” A sharp pain dug at the DCI’s heart. She had never spoken badly of Farida before and didn’t intend on doing so, especially to a colleague but something about Kate prevented her from thinking properly.
“Possessive?” Kate hadn’t planned on questioning her boss any further on the delicate situation but found herself wanting to learn as much as possible about the brunette.
“I don’t mean to overstep any boundaries here Kate, but the best example I have includes you.” Her tone was honest but sparked large confusion from the younger.
“Don’t worry about boundaries, I’m intrigued.” Despite the hectic city traffic, Kate was devoting 80% of her attention directly to the woman adjacent to her.
“On the first day you started, I went home in the evening to Farida in tears. When I asked what was wrong, she said, ‘I saw the way you looked at her.’ Upon further investigation, she enlightened me that ‘her’ was you. I immediately shut her down and explained that I only convened with you as a polite introduction but it didn’t matter to her.” Joanne was aware that the fine line between colleagues and more had been intruded but her heart was in control now.
Kate couldn’t explain the twisting feeling in the bottom of her stomach, she couldn’t define it so decided to ignore it.
“Wow...” She breathed, almost speechless that the confession.
“It only got worse after that. She’d start destroying my property, ripping my clothes, breaking my belongings. She’d play it off as ‘You don’t care about me, so why do you care about inanimate belongings?’” Tears were begging at the DCI’s eyes but she brushed them away quickly.
“Boss... that’s awful. I’m so sorry you had to encounter that.” It was evident that Kate’s perception of the Sergeant had changed, Jo only begged that she remained professional at work.
“It was my fault too I guess. She was right in saying I didn’t care about her. Of course I loved her, but I guess over time, I realised I can’t fully care about anything. The fear that it’ll be ripped away if I get too close is suffocating and prevents me from laying myself out bare in front of anybody.” The words were ironic, as she was currently doing just that with a woman she barely knew outside of work.
“I understand Jo. You’ve clearly lived a life before you met Farida and some people, their lives weren’t as twisty as ours. They don’t understand what it feels like to be rejected and misunderstood. Not the way I do, not the way you do. Somehow that makes us, I don’t know, unique, maybe even special but it does not by any means make you unlovable. You just need to find someone who truly understands you for who you are and gives you the time and space that you need.” The DCI would never have associated Kate with the ability to be so poetic and the words almost brought herself to tears for what felt like the fiftieth time today.
Kate was right, Joanne’s life had been twisty and she was so used to never fitting in with the crowd, always used for someone else’s gain or automatically turned away without a second glance. Her ex didn’t understand that, which made sense as to why their relationship was set up for failure. Jo was a detective, she knew the foundations for a relationship and understanding each other was number 1.
Bringing herself back to reality, the DCI nodded, “You get it. It’s just so difficult trying to hold a relationship together when all you want some days is silence but they constantly need assurance and affection.” Her plan to not bad mouth Farida had been thrown out the window about 6 traffic lights ago and whilst she assumed it would eat at her stomach, she felt more liberated talking it out with someone.
“My husband was the same. He always needed to know that he was my priority and it became difficult when I realised, he wasn’t. I love my son more than anything but my job comes second and he didn’t understand that.” Kate now gave the detective an insight into her own life, something that partly shocked the brunette.
“Are you still married?” Jo silently cursed herself for this being the only reaction. Kate had practically become Shakespeare after she voiced her own experiences but all Joanne could think to ask was Fleming’s relationship status.
“No. I recently moved out. He’s got Josh most of the time but I see him now and then, begrudgingly so.” Kate often seemed quite private in the station but today she was nothing but an open book, Jo wondered if her presence was the reason but quickly doubted it.
Before she could think to say anything else, the vehicle came to a stop and the engine ceased.
“We’re here.” Kate turned to smile warmly at the detective as Jo just nodded weakly.
“Thank you, Kate. Not just for the lift but for the free therapy as well.” Her accent became more prominent again, something that only occurred when she was comfortable.
“No worries boss, anything I can do to help. I’ll see you tomorrow?” The encounter would have appeared purely professional out of context but the previous conversation was anything but.
“Of course. Have a good evening Kate.” Jo slipped seamlessly from the car and fumbled around in her handbag for her house keys.
Despite her better judgement, Joanne couldn’t refrain from looking back over her shoulder, only to find Kate making direct eye contact with her. She flashed a timid smile before letting herself into the comfort of her apartment, breathing a huge sigh as the door closed behind her.
——————————————————————————
Kate couldn’t stop smiling as she drove back to her own home. She had a new perception of her boss. Where she thought she was closed off in a professional manner, it surfaced that there was just too much damage bubbling under the surface that one wrong step could cause it all to overflow.
She took pride in the fact her boss had allowed Kate an insight into her past but knew it was simply
the heartbreak controlling her brain. She entered her own home with a slight spring to her step and poured a glass of wine before settling on the sofa with a random television programme playing in the background.
It would be a lie to say her thoughts were of anything but her boss that evening and two bottles later, she retired to a sleepless night in bed.