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Tsukasa waits a little ways away from the theatre exit, not particularly wanting to be recognised by the theatre-goers but standing under the lamplight so the person he’s waiting on can find him easily. It’s not particularly late but he’s still anxious to get a move on because he knows if he’s even a second late, Tori won’t let him hear the end of it. He’s in the middle of thinking about how he and Tori had fallen into the business of surprise party planning at Hajime’s gentle behest when—
“Suou!” A figure bundled under a comically large sunhat and sunglasses runs towards him, out of breath and smiling apologetically, “Sorry, it took a minute. Did I keep you waiting?”
Tsukasa breaks into a small smile, putting away his phone. “Of course not. I know it’s a big night for you but thank you for agreeing to go out anyway.”
Tomoya waves his hand dismissively, taking off his disguise, “No, thank you for offering! It’s such a welcome change of pace from the theatre crowd.”
Tsukasa laughs at that and says, “Then let’s be on our way. The place Tori-kun recommended is simply marvelous, much as I loathe to admit it.”
“Ah, I see. You didn’t have to go so far as to consult him if you didn’t want to! I’d have been fine with any old place, you know, it’s just a dinner between friends.”
“But we’re celebrating you!” Tsukasa says, shocked as Tomoya waves his concerns away.
“Honestly, your company’s just fine,” Tomoya says, relaxing into the car seat. “I’m fine with anything as long as it’s normal! Not that you’re normal,” he hastens to explain, “But I think—comfortable to be around.”
“In the same shoes, so to speak,” Tsukasa agrees. They’d found themselves in similar places not too long ago, young leaders expected to fill big shoes and chase bigger dreams, often finding themselves and each other in dilemmas they were happy to listen to and help out with. "How do you feel, now that you're done?"
"We have one last performance next week, and honestly," Tomoya leans in conspiratorially, "I've been having so much fun I almost don't want it to end but if it doesn't, I'll scream."
Tsukasa lets out a surprised laugh."I'm just glad you're having fun with it. Last we spoke, you seemed unhappy with the proceedings?"
Tomoya leans back and nods, "I felt like I'd taken on too much, being an actor is all I've ever wanted to do and be and the director mentioned how they'd edited and re-written parts of the script to fit me… Suddenly, I didn't know if I could do it justice.
"And then Hibiki-senpai showed up out of the blue one day, and all of a sudden we were spending hours on end each week going through my lines or the fight choreography or the technical know-how that I've never even heard of! Did you know the theatre often hires people to clap and cheer no matter what? They’re called claqueurs, kind of like how Hibiki-senpai acts. In the end, you know what he said?"
Tsukasa shakes his head.
"He said 'if you're ready to show me what you've got, I’ve got nothing else to teach you, Tomoya-kun'," Tomoya mimics the tone perfectly, "It felt like, I don't know, a bigger deal than being the lead. I have so much more to learn! But I'd promised him this a long time ago, I didn't think he'd remember."
"It's important to honour promises though," Tsukasa reminds, "Even Hibiki-senpai wouldn't break his end of it."
Tomoya nods, "The weird thing is, I guess I was so caught up in that I thought I'd seen him at every performance! That's weird, right? fine's super busy, he wouldn't be able to show up more than once… if at all. I could swear it was him though, when the lights dimmed and from the cracks between the curtains. His hair's pretty unmistakable."
And strangely enough, Tsukasa gets it. Often working alone in the office or when he’s out managing Knights’ duties alone, he'd blink-and-miss the shadow of a fiery head in his peripheral, a constant, warm presence watching over him. He wishes, suddenly, that Leo were with him, walking in unannounced, whether into his office, this conversation, or anything else. Tsukasa would spot him immediately.
“That is weird,” Tsukasa says instead, colouring a little, “Maybe a trick of the light?”
“Perhaps,” Tomoya acquiesces. “Everyone’s been really kind and supportive, so I’m really thankful.”
“As is natural!” Tsukasa returns. Only a few years ago he’d have felt mildly jealous of this success, not the kind that stems from malice, but the kind that’d make him push towards wanting to succeed badly enough, dangerously close to walking the wrong path. These days it’s more restrained with common sense, he doesn’t let petty rivalry and a hot head get the better of him—after all, he must leave something to his dearest Tori-kun.
“What about you?” Tomoya asks then, “How are you? I’ve only caught the Knights buzz on social media but you’re going Florence soon, right? Hope it’s fun.”
“It’s for work, actually,” Tsukasa starts, “Thanks to Sena-senpai and Leo-san, we’ve garnered quite the fanbase overseas. But to answer your question… I hope it is. It's been so long since we spent any time together outside of work, even if Knights is a work situation.”
“More than a work situation,” Tomoya muses, “You guys like to call yourself individualists but you’re family, just like us Ra*bits, just like everyone else. Wait, am I starting to sound like NIi-chan…?”
“Do you miss him? And the others? We’re not in school anymore so we don’t have the opportunity to cross paths all that often now so I’ve often wondered about how we never really have a reason to get together, unless it’s for a party or the like.”
“Of course,” Tomoya replies immediately, “I was really glad when Ra*bits came to watch my performance, but I miss the rest of us too, even though we see each other in the dorms and such…”
Tsukasa nods in agreement. “I feel much the same… especially because Sena-senpai and Leo-san haven’t really had a chance to come visit home in a while. It’s been—”
“—Lonely?” Tomoya finishes, mirroring Tsukasa’s expression. “It’s all part of growing up I expect. Still, I wish we could see each other more often…”
The car slows down to a stop around the corner and they get out, still deep in conversation, although Tsukasa’s a little distracted, what with checking the time and making sure everything’s ready.
“Hey, the lights are all out,” Tomoya says, stopping short, “Did we get the address wrong?”
“I don’t think so. Let’s go in and ask,” Tsukasa replies, trying to hide his smile, and nudges Tomoya along.
“Huh,” Tomoya says suspiciously, pushing the door open, “Excuse me? We made a reservation under the name—”
Tomoya never got to the end of his sentence. Quick as lightning, the lights go on and a chorus sings him a happy birthday. All their friends, their old classmates, standing before Tomoya, slightly giggly and bright eyed.
“You,” Tomoya spins around and points an accusing finger at Tsukasa, “You knew!”
“Of course he did! And he wasn’t late for a change,” Tori says, glaring at Tsukasa.
“Obviously. I’m never late, Tori-kun,” Tsukasa says calmly, glaring right back.
“Tomo-chan, Tomo-chan, come sit with us, we’ve got garlic bread!”
“Tomoya-kun, you’re all red, are you okay?”
“Mashiro-kun, here, I put away your presents to the side alright? Take your time with them.”
“Tomo-kun, let’s play!”
Tsukasa feels a little bad, he’d promised Tomoya a quiet evening—but seeing him swept into the happy togetherness they’d just wished for—he can’t quite feel guilty for his little white lie.
“You did good,” Tori leans over to whisper, “I really didn’t think we could pull it off.”
“Of course we could,” Tsukasa says confidently, even though he’d been on the verge of spilling all evening, “We owe Hajime-kun, after all.”
Tori sighs, “When I said I wanted to test my party planning skills, I didn’t think it’d be so stressful! But I had fun. Are you having fun, Tsukasa?”
Tsukasa considers Tori—still a good six inches shorter than him, even when they’re sitting down, something that will probably never change—looking up at him genuinely, without the intention to mock or pick a fight.
He smiles, leaning back into his seat to take in Mitsuru dangerously close to smashing Tomoya’s face with birthday cake, “Yes. I’m having fun.”
Tsukasa isn’t much for big parties but he enjoys this one thoroughly, childishly arguing with Tori until the end, now over who can drive better on their way back home (that neither is allowed to drive by himself anywhere is a fact left untouched).
Tomoya thanks Tsukasa and Tori profusely when they all return to the dorms, letting them know he’d never forget tonight, even if it loses the gravitas he had meant them with as he speaks while tripping over Mitsuru not once but twice.
“You’d better not!” Tori sniffs and bids Tomoya good night with a smile.
Tsukasa waits for Shinobu, who’s trying to reassure Midori and reel in Tetora, and doing a considerably thorough job at it. He feels warm, like he does at the height of a performance, delivering some particularly powerful line with the rest of Knights. Speaking of whom, he wonders if he’ll see any of them before their trip. Arashi is out of town on a modeling shoot while Ritsu’s taken Mao out on a late birthday celebratory trip, and is due back… whenever he feels like it. One never really knows with Sakuma Ritsu.
His thoughts soon drift to Izumi and Leo, whom he hasn’t seen in a couple of months, a feat in itself because Leo, at least, is given to bouts of travel and visits home as often as he feels like. He’d been here, just a while ago, but Tsukasa had been buried under mountains of paperwork and had caught the flu, so all he saw of Leo was a blurry picture of him getting parfait with his sister at Tsukasa's favourite café.
As it were, the universe hears his thoughts as if spoken aloud and his phone chimes cheerily with a text message.
Sena Izumi: call leo-kun when you can. he’s shut up in his room.
Sena Izumi: i think he’s homesick but i can’t fucking tell he’s being annnoying i need him to vacuum the damn house.
⊱ ════ ⋆⚜️⋆ ════ ⊰
Leo’s heart wakes him up, quivering alive like a livewire.
It’s not a novel experience; the few days travelling to and from Japan always leave him winded and unmoored. It fades soon enough if given time, though, and he lies down again, staring out the window. His window in particular overlooks the busy main street and during the day he is not above people-watching, sitting at the windowsill with a piece of fruit Izumi has cut him, contentedly watching the patterns of people on the street shift and move. Occasionally, there is a market around the corner and it’s delightful to observe the growing chaos. A pure shot of inspiration for the soul.
Sena House 2.0, better known as their apartment over a branching off of a main market street just outside the city centre in Florence, is perhaps the most delightful place Leo has ever called home. Truthfully speaking, Leo is happy anywhere he can have enough space to sprawl out, spill snack crumbs into crevices Izumi will never think to look but will find anyway, and reach his final form: be struck with inspiration enough to make more music.
In their full year of living in the lap luxury—their first slow-paced, worn neighbourhood, too expensive for words—had already lost its appeal and they were better off here now, through the highs and lows of italian real estate struggles—both financially and mentally ready with a game plan for the foreseeable future.
It had been Izumi who had offered they go apartment-hunting together. Leo had known it was partly so he could keep an eye on him should things go south and Leo doesn’t blame him. He’d only tagged along because he’d wanted to keep an eye on Izumi too. That’s just how they did, apparently. Never straightforward, taking the long way back to each other. Just like his relationship with sleep these days.
Sleeping has always been a task but lately, in the full swing of things, it has been much harder. Living abroad has been good to him and Izumi, they’ve both mellowed out incredibly in their own little ways, and a change of scenery is always a source of inspiration… is what Leo has always told himself. Don’t get him wrong, he loves it back at home with the loveliest little sister in the world and he loves it at the dorms with Nazuna and Natsume and the little rabbit. But he misses the familiarity of it all even when he’s gotten used to speaking broken italian over the phone while placing his takeout order while Izumi’s away on business.
It’s a slow week for him so it’s fine if he stays up a little, he’s pulled all-nighters before, all in the name of composing. He contemplates his choices, all of them unsavoury: 1) he could actually try and compose, 2) he could try and go back to sleep, or 3) he could lay paralysed with fear and indecision until his alarm goes off like a shot.
The first option would usually be the most enticing; after all Leo is nothing if not a composer in body, mind, and spirit, but he’s intentionally taking a break from it all so as to not burn out. He’s got to be careful about it and nothing has struck him with inspiration since he’s returned from Japan which is painful in itself, everything he tries his hand at irritates. It’s like his heart’s not in it, Leo loves people and loves being loved and being away from what he loves is hard, sometimes. It leads him down dark avenues, and in the dark, everything looks like blood on his hands which just adds spice to his already wired sleepless little existence.
On the other rational hand, deep deep down, he knows the smart thing would be to turn back around and attempt to fall asleep again. He isn’t as good at it as Ritsu is—in his defense, few are. But he can’t sleep, is the thing, he just can’t seem to close his eyes and pass out until he has to be awake again. He’s tried everything; counting sheep, pretending he’s a mummy in an underground cave network, cold milk before bed, warm milk before bed, finding out he’s mildly lactose intolerant, all that jazz. It’s bordering on insomnia, he thinks, but it’s not like he can’t function. It’s just not as much fun.
His phone lights up with a text and he makes a grab for it; anything to distract himself, and finds it’s not a text after all, it’s a phone call.
“Remember when we met, you told me if I won our first Judgement I could kick you out if I wanted to?”
Leo doesn’t often hear from Tsukasa unprompted, he’s far too polite and concerned to call Leo at the ungodly hour of—he squints at the clock—four in the morning, and never without a hello.
“Yeah, yeah, but you didn’t kick me out. Changed your mind, my Lord?” Leo replies, sitting up in his bed.
“But I didn’t kick you out,” Tsukasa agrees. “And remember during Requiem you said you were going to disappear into the darkness? After everything?”
“Mmm did I say that?” Leo asks, wondering where Tsukasa was going with this.
“You did. I’m glad you didn’t leave. It’s very difficult to look for you even when I know where you are.”
“Did you wake me up to bully me?” Even though it’s fully transparent to them both he was awake all along.
Tsukasa sighs softly and the implication is not lost on Leo. “Suo~,” he drawls, readying himself to needle it out of Tsukasa if need be, “What—”
“I’m glad you didn’t leave,” Tsukasa says again, “And I’ll stop you every time you try. Please don’t worry about it.”
Leo shifts uncomfortably, pulling on his covers. “What brought this on?”
“Nothing in particular. I just wanted to let you know you have a place here, you know? You’re not the king anymore but… I'll follow you anywhere, even if you run away, Leader.”
Leo laughs; he can’t help it. How just like Tsukasa, precious, solemn, responsible Suou Tsukasa, his sword raised only in defense and in earnest. “You’re so cute, I love you!”
Tsukasa sighs again, this time a familiar sound, like he’s trying to be frustrated with Leo and failing miserably. Leo loves it, he really does.
“Sena-senpai said you’d been having trouble composing and you’ve been shut up in your room all day. Have you been eating well?”
“I have. Sena is mean like that, he’ll make you eat three square meals whether you like it or not. We have to eat kale every day. It’s awful.”
“Kale is good for you! Is what he told me too, so I get it. Please take care, Leo-san. Sleep well, I apologise for having woken you up.”
“Brat,” Leo says fondly, and yawns obnoxiously into the phone. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
Tsukasa makes a small noise of assent which Leo interprets as him giving in to Leo’s demands, since nothing really makes Tsukasa not worry. But it works like a charm between the two of them, the sinless little king, off to wage war and bloody his hands for their sakes regardless.
Leo tucks himself in after that, feeling not-so alone in the still night.
⊱ ════ ⋆⚜️⋆ ════ ⊰
“Welcome to the city of dreams,” Leo exclaims, grabbing Tsukasa by the shoulders and Tsukasa, in a testament to his self-restraint, doesn’t strangle Leo right there.
“I thought we’d established this was the city of flowers?” Ritsu pipes up, unceremoniously dumping his carry-on on Izumi.
“We have this conversation every time you guys fly down, can we please get on with it,” Izumi huffs, utterly displeased at the state of affairs.
Tsukasa shoots him an apologetic look and hefts his own bag over his shoulder. “Sena-senpai’s right, it’s getting late. We should head to the hotel.” And it’s really cold around this time of the year and Tsukasa has better things to do than turn into an icicle that adorns the airport carpark.
“Absolutely not. You guys can do your relocation nonsense after dinner, there’s a casserole in my oven that's about to burn right now and if Leo-kun here doesn’t step on it and get us all home, there will be no Knights to speak of, got it?”
And step on it Leo does, with Arashi in the passenger seat—the least likely to blow a fuse at what is borderline reckless driving. Izumi grills them from the backseat and almost throws hands when he learns Ritsu hasn’t particularly paid attention to anything that constitutes a green leafy vegetable since they last saw each other.
Tsukasa smiles at the chaos, feeling right at home with the strange streets of Florence whizzing past them, thousands of miles away from home. He’ll belong wherever his comrades are, he's come to expect. Even when they’re apart, they’ll always gravitate towards each other, as though reeled in by some cosmic force. Finding their place next to one another, taking comfort and lending strength.
“Suu-chan’s thinking something really sappy,” Ritsu says, making himself comfortable in Tsukasa’s lap.
“He’s falling asleep,” Izumi snaps, “Why did you have to pick a flight that lands at a frankly abominable hour, huh? Have you been sleeping on time? You’re all going to be sorry, I promise.”
Tsukasa doesn’t doubt it. As much as he’s missed Izumi, what he hasn’t missed is kneeling on the cold hard ground and being lectured on every topic under the sun. He already gets that treatment often enough from Keito in the dorms, he can’t say he’s a fan of it from Izumi too.
Fortunately, Leo drives fast enough to have them home before the oven can burn down the apartment or Izumi gets new and improved ideas for punishment.
“This has got to be illegal,” Arashi huffs, dropping down on the nearest sofa. “You can’t just leave the oven on for hours like that, Izumi-chan! It’s dangerous.”
“It’s a slow cook,” Izumi waves her concern off, checking in on it, “It’s going to take another hour, why don’t you guys go clean up?”
“You can sleep over,” Leo pipes up excitedly, “I’ll set up the guest bedroom!”
“You say that as though Secchan hasn’t already made you do it before you guys came to get us,” Ritsu points out, dipping his finger in the salad dressing, “Hey, Secchan, this is really good.”
“Could you please not be so disgusting,” Izumi scolds, grabbing Ritsu by the collar and hauling Arashi up from the sofa and shooing them away, “Did you even wash your hands? Sooo annoying. Kasa-kun, you too, don’t just sit there and look pretty.”
Tsukasa would like nothing better. He reaches around in his bags for his overnight case and makes a beeline for the bathroom and spends a good fifteen minutes going through his night routine. Thanks to Izumi, it’s become a habit, a ritual even, to spend a few minutes before the mirror and carefully pat some cream onto his face. The lavender scent is soothing and it’s kind of funny how he’s using a tiny travel sized version of the same full-size product that’s sitting on the shelf.
He’s the first one out and Izumi shoos him away from the food and he wanders into the living room, shivering in the cold and wondering why the balcony door is open wide. He spots Leo sitting by himself, and pads up quietly behind him and carefully crouches down to put his cold little hands on Leo’s cheeks.
Predictably, Leo screams like his heart is on fire.
“Suooooooooo,” he whines, scrunching his face tight, “That was evil, where did you learn that?! Did the aliens teach you that? I’ll allow it if that’s the case.”
Tsukasa resists the urge to roll his eyes. “Why are you sitting out here in the cold? Dinner will be ready soon, shouldn’t we head in?”
Leo pats the blanket next to him excitedly, “Come sit, Sena’s making one of those forever casseroles, you know? The ones that take millennia to make? He’ll fuss over it for a bit don’t worry. Sit with me!”
Tsukasa draws up the blanket around him, knees pulled up under his chin. It’s warm and Leo is warmer, safe against the cold.
“Have you been keeping well, Leo-san?” Tsukasa starts by way of conversation.
“Aw, you don’t have to be so stiff and proper all the time, Suo,” Leo laughs, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him, “Loosen up! Look at the stars with me!”
“Stop rattling me,” Tsukasa says crossly, out of breath with the suddenness of it all, “And there are no stars in the sky, Leo-san.”
“Yeah, it’s the light pollution,” Leo sighs, turning back to look at the sky again, “But use your imagination! It’s much more fun that way.”
Tsukasa plays along and squints at the sky. “We can make up anything?”
“Anything at all. The stars and I, we serve you, Your Majesty,” Leo says softly.
Tsukasa reddens and pinches Leo’s cheek with his icy fingers and makes him yell again. “You’re making fun.”
“I’m not,” Leo insists, grabbing Tsukasa’s hands with his own warm ones, “Look, I’ll even build you your own constellation!”
He draws in the air, squiggly lines and motions Tsukasa doesn’t really follow but is content to watch all the same.
“See? I made you a crown,” Leo says.
“Is it yours?” Tsukasa asks.
“Mmm no. It’s yours. No bloodshed attached to this one,” Leo replies with a wry grin. “It makes you the king of the whole universe! You’re too young for that though so Knights will be your guardians until you can do that!”
“You’re barely older,” Tsukasa says mildly, turning to look at Leo bathed in half light, half shadows, eyes gleaming with mirth and looking directly at him.
“But I can drive to places by myself,” Leo points out, pinching Tsukasa’s cheek in retaliation.
Ouch. How unfair of Leo to play dirty when he knows Tsukasa just isn’t allowed to drive by himself, at least not yet. It’s a low blow aimed at a sore topic and Tsukasa isn’t about to forgive so easily. “Then I’m making you drive us around wherever we like for the rest of our stay here. My orders as your king.”
Leo’s fingers loosen against his cheek, resting to cup and then squish gently. “You’re so easy to rile up! Is our youngling king picking fights now?”
Tsukasa pouts; he’s not a baby, he’s been Knights’ king for ages now. Leo still likes to remind him of his duties and joke on his behalf but the station of a unit leader, especially of a unit so popular and highly regarded, is one he knows Leo is intimately acquainted with.
“There are no fights to pick, Leo-san,” he explains, just a tad impatient, because just who did Leo take him for, but it comes out funny and muffled because Leo has taken to squishing both his cheeks together, his face far too close to Tsukasa’s own.
A hand grabs him by the collar and his own surprise is mirrored in Leo’s face when he’s grabbed as well.
“If the lovebirds are done, can we please eat? I didn’t toil in the kitchen for literally hours for you to talk into the night and go without dinner, you know? Wash your hands and set the table, Leo-kun. Kasa-kun, I expect you to eat every single vegetable on your plate, got it?” Izumi looks annoyed but it’s the default kind of annoyance that shows itself when it approaches bedtime after a long day.
Dinner is fun if mostly quiet, Tsukasa is wrung out and he can say the same for Ritsu and Arashi; traveling always takes a toll on him, something he needs to get better at managing. Izumi wrangles compliments out of everyone but the casserole is delicious to say the least, worth all eight hours that went into making it. There are bowls of grape tomatoes and farro salad, artichoke slices and peas on bread browned with butter, dove-white strips of cheese laid across with care.
Tsukasa hopes there is dessert and helps clear the dishes away, even when he’s swatted at for getting in the way. It’s funny how quickly Izumi gives in and breaks open a jar of biscotti.
“Only one, okay?” he warns like it’s not a complete show of softness.
“Two of you can have the guest room and one of you has to share with either me or Sena,” Leo says, “Sleepover time!”
“Sleep time. I don’t want to hear anything before tomorrow morning, you hear?” Izumi says. “And you guys have to share with Leo-kun. I’m beat and I cooked, so it’s Leo-kun’s turn on the serviceable hospitality.”
“Boo, Secchan,” Ritsu yawns. “I’m in the guest room.”
“Me too,” Arashi says, “Sorry Leo-kun, we’ll have a real sleepover some other time, okay?”
“Naru,” Leo whines, latching onto her arm, “Why must my queen be so unfair?! Fine! I see how it is! Suo, you and I are about to have the best time ever!”
“Can you make sure he actually gets into bed? This idiot’s an adult now but he loses his head sometimes so I’m having to ask you to monitor him,” Izumi asks Tsukasa quietly, “Like the old days, huh?”
Tsukasa assures him, after all he’d learnt to keep an eye on Leo in their time together, regardless of which corner of the world they were in. It’d been a learning curve but Tsukasa is nothing but dedicated and patient and tolerant of his many eccentricities.
They bid each other goodnight and Izumi warns them to sleep, actually sleep, and—directed mostly at Leo— if he heard a single sound that wasn’t them being asleep, so help him god.
Leo’s room has hardly changed since Tsukasa last visited—bright orange curtains, the shelving unit against one wall filled to the brim with odd knick-knacks and vinyls and CDs, a guitar or two tucked into the corner. The desk currently houses the laptop and the casio, two speakers on either side and his headphones, a small family as if waiting for Leo to come home.
The small collage of pictures on the wall above the bed has grown considerably; three nearly identical ones down the middle—each one a different graduation day, a few recent ones with Nazuna and Natsume, a close up of a litter of cats, a few with Ruka and their cousin from this past summer, all tacked to the wall with tape.
His space is… pristine, to say the least, not a word he’d use in conjunction with Leo. It feels wrong, too sanitised, too alien to be truly Leo’s own space even if he’s tidied up after himself. He turns to look for Leo, who’s busy pulling out extra pillows and a blanket for him, a surprisingly domestic picture he immediately squashes in his head before it can fully take shape.
“Leo-san,” Tsukasa starts, and then stops when Leo turns to look at him questioningly.
“What’s up? Wanna take me up on the sleepover idea after all?” Leo asks, handing him a blanket. “You shouldn’t. Can’t fulfill all my requests, you know. Sena will get mad and we can’t have you falling asleep tomorrow, it’s a big day!”
Tsukasa nods, brows furrowing slightly. Not once has Leo mentioned anything about inspiration and related terms. If Leo’s working through something, he’s doing his damnedest to keep it to himself. To shoulder his own burdens.
“You should take the left side,” Leo says, “It’s softer. Also closer to the bathroom in case you need to go.”
“Shouldn’t you have it? It’s your bed after all.”
“I want you to have nice things! I’m the host so you can’t argue with me, okay?” Leo says before popping out of the room to brush his teeth.
“Weirdo,” Tsukasa mumbles to himself, getting into bed and pulling the blanket close. It smells like Leo, like everything else does here, drenched in fabric conditioner and then in mid-morning sunlight.
It’s the last thing he remembers before falling asleep, a sunny voice commanding him to sleep well.
⊱ ════ ⋆⚜️⋆ ════ ⊰
Tsukasa is up like a shot at half past four with the knowledge that something isn’t quite right. It takes him a second to remember why isn’t awake past his alarm or why it’s still pitch dark outside or why the bed is cold and empty on the other side. His brow furrows when he realises the room is empty save for the thin rays of moonlight between the cracks of the curtains.
He fashions the blanket into a cape of sorts and, for the second time in twenty four hours, carefully makes his way to the living room. The balcony door is shut tight, but here is Leo, sitting on the cold floor just by the sofa, writing away furiously under the light of his cellphone torch. Tsukasa watches for a while, it’s always a sight to watch Leo work on something, the quiet humming he has to strain his ears to catch, the occasional tap-tap of his pen, the sheer force of energy he exudes when he plucks the song from air and pens it into existence.
Tsukasa sits down next to him. In their time at school, he’d been their king’s personal kingsguard—before he’d become king himself, before Leo had flown off to Italy and carried Knights’ legacy onto an international stage. It’s a familiar change of pace, like a balance restored. It’s a relief to see Leo in his natural habitat, Tsukasa thinks sleepily, he’d been worried earlier. He’s been told he’s a tad dramatic for his age but is it all that dramatic to wonder if the universe crumbles should Leo never make music again?
He rubs his hands together, blowing on them a little to warm them up and lays a hand gently on Leo’s shoulder, unsure how long Leo has been sitting out here writing music but willing to sit with him until he’s done.
The silence is companionable and Tsukasa is more awake than ever but unwillingly so. Just as he’s wondering if it’s even worth trying to fall back asleep or if he should just throw in the towel and make himself a cup of coffee when—
“Oh! Good morning! Did I wake you?” Leo asks, scribbling the last of his song. “Sorry about that.”
Tsukasa shakes his head, “I woke up a little while ago and wondered where you were.”
“What time is it,” Leo asks, stretching and scandalously popping as many bones as he can. If Tsukasa were a lesser person, he’d retch, but as it is, all he does is shudder and frown at Leo while he reveals his tummy under the too-few layers he is wearing.
“What are you doing,” Tsukasa mumbles, wrapping Leo in his blanket cape, “You’re going to catch a cold.”
“Okay, okay,” Leo laughs softly, miraculously mindful that it is, in fact, not waking hours for normal people.
“Is it worth going back to sleep now? It’s almost five.” Tsukasa wonders.
“I can make you coffee if you like,” Leo offers kindly, “Sena will be awake in an hour probably.”
“Aren’t you going to sleep?”
“I’ll keep you company!”
“No need. You should sleep, Leo-san.”
“I’m wide awake though,” Leo says, getting up and offering a hand to Tsukasa and hauling him up, unwrapping the blanket to share with Tsukasa. “Sure you’re not sleepy? I can’t say I’ll be able to carry you to the bed if you drop off.”
Tsukasa frowns, “I’m not! I wouldn’t ask you to, either.”
“I would do it though,” Leo insists, “King’s rights, to be carried to bed if he likes.”
Tsukasa snorts out a surprised laugh at Leo’s ridiculousness but allows him to make their morning coffee. Perhaps he’ll have enough time to check his email and go over some paperwork he’s been… not avoiding, exactly, but putting off until a better time. If, for whatever reason, Leo were to distract him from it, Tsukasa decides—humming along to Leo’s soft singing—he wouldn’t be entirely mad.
⊱ ════ ⋆⚜️⋆ ════ ⊰
Of all the weapons at their disposal, Tsumugi’s needle is Leo’s favourite. He thinks Tsumugi’s real funny, too. A seemingly frumpy guy at the helm of his own agency, practically building it from the ground up.
He worked hard, that much Leo can say, and he worked… well, despite his insistence on saying otherwise. Not often with the needle and thread, it’s safe to say, but often enough that Leo would catch him asleep in the small hours of the morning with a thimble and trailing thread.
Leo supposed he liked it because it felt like resistance, especially against Eichi’s metaphorical conductor’s wand, watching over their endless symphony. Something insignificant, something dedicated. Something personal untouched by the past.
“What are you sewing?” he asks curiously, having watched Tsumugi squint as he tried to thread a needle four times and succeeding not once.
“Oh!” Tsumugi says, dropping the needle, “Hey, Leo-kun. You surprised me.”
Leo siddles up to Tsumugi’s desk and leans on it in interest, “You’re here really late, Oba-chan! Looking for aliens?”
“As are you,” Tsumugi replies, setting aside his work. “What brings you here outside of the search for extraterrestrial life?”
“Looking for work! Sena and I are back in the country for a bit and it seemed like a good time for Knights to get together, you know? Plus Suo’s been super busy with stuff and this would give him a break. Maybe.”
Tsumugi hums, rifling through papers, “Suou-kun has been pretty busy lately, I don’t think I’ve seen him anywhere outside of meetings. He’s doing okay, right?”
“Yeah! Yeah, I think so? Knights seems to be pretty popular right now because of the album sales and we like to strike while the iron's still hot."
"I'll see what I can do," Tsumugi says bemusedly, and picks up his sewing again. "Give me until tomorrow and you'll have some emails in your inbox."
Leo makes a face. They're at a funny age, too old to stay starry-eyed about the jobs they do, too young to be buried under the leaden weight of the responsibility of checking email inboxes.
"What're you sewing?" He asks again instead, perched on the desk.
“This? It’s a birthday gift,” Tsumugi grins, “It’s supposed to be a birds nest, see?"
"The birds are all different… is this you guys in Switch?" Leo asks, squinting at the tiny birds poised in mid-flight. "They're cute!"
Tsumugi laughs and thanks him. "And how have you been, Leo-kun? I've hardly seen you around."
"Yeah, Knights has been doing super well you know!" Leo says, gesturing idly, "We came back a while ago but you guys were busy with a bunch of lives back to back? And Sora was in that drama that came out around the same time, I remember Nacchan would go on about it before passing out cold."
"Mhm, probably overworked himself," Tsumugi agrees, biting off the thread, "But I meant you, Leo-kun. How are you? It's like how you were back in school. You'd hardly show up and when you did, you'd have all these things to say but nothing really about yourself. So, how are you?"
Leo blinks. And he blinks once again for good measure. And hugs him. How could he not when the bluebird is yet singing of beautiful and impossible things?
"Oba-chan! You've kept quite the eye on me!" Leo wails, launching himself at Tsumugi.
"Careful! I'm holding a needle, you know? I've known you a long while now. And we've always been in the same class in school, now we’re in the same agency, it’s only right," Tsumugi reminds him.
"Things are… picking up, I guess. Super difficult, with the language and all that but music, that crosses all barriers! The lingua franca of the ages!" He says, gesturing wildly from his perch upon Tsumugi’s desk.
"Ah, that's true," Tsumugi says, nodding along, "Have you composed one of your masterpieces recently then?"
Leo's heart turns to cold metal in his chest. "It'll come to me," He laughs, hoping Tsumugi will carry on the conversation to another topic. “I’ve been busy.”
"Leo-kun," Tsumugi says, uncharacteristically direct, looking right at him, "You can talk about it if you feel like."
"Don't wanna," Leo mumbles, looking away when Tsumugi pats his thigh gently.
"Not a problem. Just remember, you once lead the great Knights that keeps much of our dignity afloat. What's a little downtime to a king?"
"I'm not," Leo says, more sharply than he'd intended and hastens to explain himself, "I'm not him! I'm not. You know. The king. I didn't like who I was when I was the king, you know? Tyranny never ran a course so smooth."
"You can say that again," Tsumugi says darkly, stretching out of his chair and smiles apologetically. "But it's all for the better now, we did what we had to. We were children who didn't know any better."
"Who's to say we aren't children now? Making the same kind of mistakes?"
"I like to think even though that's true, we're still doing the best we can. And the children who come after us, Natsume-kun, Suou-kun, all of them, will correct us when we're wrong. Will catch us when we fall. Goodness knows they've already set us on the right path more than once."
Leo whistles lowly. "That's some incredible wisdom you got there, what’s it take to share some with me?"
"Thank you," Tsumugi says modestly, "It comes with age. Always a free service for you, though. Shall we head back to the dorms together? And I’d love to hear what’s been keeping you so busy. Who’s the lucky one?”
Leo squawks after Tsumugi, insisting it’s nothing of the sort, just the herb garden Izumi’s making him look after!
⊱ ════ ⋆⚜️⋆ ════ ⊰
"Welcome back!" Nazuna calls, eyes still glued to the TV, "Sorry, Tomo-chin's play is just about to end. Can't look away."
Leo plops himself down next to Nazuna anyway because Natsume is typing away on his laptop at a pace furious enough that Leo knows he’ll get snapped at if he so much as says hello.
Tomoya’s the lead in this play, his first big one up on a stage instead of on the big screen, he’d explained to Dramatica rather apologetically for missing a few of their meetings. Leo hadn’t been able to attend on account of being overseas and having a terrible memory but he’d been thinking of watching a recording of it when he had the time. Tomoya had, of course, offered them all tickets and everyone had made sure to try and attend at least one showing, armed with flowers and well wishes. Tsukasa had gone too, apparently the two had grown close in their years together at school.
Tomoya is swinging around his sword on screen and Leo tunes it out, he wants to savour the story in its entirety without being spoiled and closes his eyes for just a minute…
...or so he had planned. Nazuna shakes him awake when the play is over, rubbing his eyes furiously.
“Tomo-chin was so good,” Nazuna says, wobbly voice and all. “He was so gallant!”
“You would think Nii-chan-senpai would be over it already, considering it’s his third time watching,” Natsume says amusedly, turning away from his desk for a second.
“He was beautiful! How can I get over it! You were the same when Sora’s movie came out, if I recall correctly, didn’t we watch it every night for a week?” Nazuna says defensively.
“Yeah!” Leo jumps in gleefully, in part because he loves that film and in part to tease Natsume, when usually it’s the other way around. “Nacchan was so happy, wasn’t he Nazu?”
“No comment,” Natsume says and immediately turns back to his work.
“Aw Nacchan don’t be like that,” Leo drawls while Nazuna idly pets his head, “Why don’t we watch it now?”
“I don’t appreciate this suggestion,” Natsume says, which means he’s considering the bait, more amenable to Leo’s teasing than he was even half a year ago. Their relationship has been a work in progress but being roommates with a guy who hates your guts makes him want to kill you less when you only show up once every few months and are on extremely good terms with his favourite people.
“Snacks are on me!” Leo exclaims, sitting up suddenly and hitting his head against Nazuna’s. “Nazu can build the Watching Station!”
“Hey, wait,” Nazuna says, rubbing the sore spot on his chin, “Last time you were in the kitchen three whole people shooed you out, aren’t you a fire hazard or something?”
“Maybe…?” Leo agrees reluctantly after a pause. Natsume sighs and pulls away from his work and says he has some snacks stowed away so can they please refrain from arson today?
The Watching Station, dubbed as such by Leo, is a nest composed of all their blankets and pillows, artfully arranged together on the floor under the full blast of air-conditioning. Natsume would never admit it (and has threatened Leo with bodily harm that he may or may not act upon if Leo were to blab about this) but he enjoys the time spent in this company, that much Leo knows. Who else could be as patient as Nazuna and as witty as Leo to keep him company through a movie he’s about to analyse and praise thoroughly over the course of a week and beyond?
“Can’t we watch something mindless? Work is grating, frankly, and I’d rather reserve my energy for something of actual use to me,” He says now, fetching the snacks out of a cupboard like some kind of a domestic magician—two whole bags of chips and a lukewarm bottle of soda that at least one of their friend circle would frown at in disapproval.
Leo’s face splits into a sunbeam smile and hastens to take them off Natsume’s hands and commends his talents while Nazuna pulls up some or the other late night movie that dissolves into the background.
“Sit,” he tells Natsume, who obeys, and disapprovingly allows for his head to be pet for his troubles.
“What are we watching,” Leo asks, half distracted by the snacks.
“Don’t know, don’t care,” Natsume says, settling into the blankets, tucked against Nazuna.
“We should watch Tomo-chin’s play again,” Nazuna suggests with a thoughtful look in his eye.
“Pass,” Natsume says immediately, “I don’t think all the tissues in the world can keep you from crying when he rides that horse on stage.”
“We’re watching it with Dramatica,” Leo adds, “Keito hasn’t seen it yet either and requested we watch it when Tomoya’s around too. I think he just wants to praise him without looking like an idiot, though?”
“Keito-chin’s soft like that on the inside,” Nazuna agrees.
“Deep, deep inside,” Natsume adds. “And you can tell when Hasumi-senpai really loves something. His eyes get all crinkly around the corners, it’s really obvious.”
“Do you have blackmail material on people in love on hand, then?” Leo asks.
“Depends on what you define as love. If it’s a dessert, you’ll admit I’m correct right away. If it’s a person, you’ll scramble to keep it a secret. It’s up to how openly you want to admit your secrets. Blackmail’s not a one-person job.” Natsume pauses for a second before continuing, “Also can we not call it blackmail, it makes me sound like Ibara-kun. I prefer calling it gleaning one’s true intents.”
“Do you have someone you love?” Nazuna asks curiously.
“Hmm,” Leo pretends to think and then flings his arms open wide, “I love easily, so everyone probably? I love Knights most though.”
“Lame,” Natsume comments and asks him which of his Knights he loves most and gets the most horrified look he’s seen yet from Leo.
“It’s not,” Nazuna defends, “I can’t pick between my kids from Ra*bits either, they’re all my favourites. You’re just pulling Leo-chin’s leg now.”
Natsume shrugs, it’s just a question. “I could divine it, if you liked.”
“I don’t love them all the same,” Leo says suddenly, “I love them… differently? I love it when Rittsu lets me pet him when he’s asleep and when Naru brushes my hair or when Sena lets me use his perfume.”
“And Suou-kun?” Natsume asks, exchanging a look with Nazuna.
Leo lets out a sheepish laugh, “There’s too many things I could say about that brat, you know?”
Nazuna nods like he gets it but matters of love are not affairs his roommates can quite keep from piquing their interest.
"So you love him then? Your Suou-kun?" Natsume asks, examining his cuticles and Leo's expression intently.
"Of course I love him," Leo says openly, "I love him and I love you guys and I love bunny who's asleep right now."
"No not like that," Nazuna says, "Are you in love with him?"
"That's a heavy question," Natsume comments like he isn't the one to have brought it up in the first place.
“Huh,” Leo is quiet for a moment, eyes glazing over in a way it does just when either realisation or inspiration has struck. He pats his person for a pen and it's only Nazuna's foresight that had possessed him to purchase a massive whiteboard for their dorm for this very purpose.
"If the mere mention of his name causes such a response…" Natsume drawls, picking out a perfectly oval chip from the bag. “Well, I think he gets it finally.”
Nazuna hushes him, "Love does weird things. Makes you human, like the rest of us. You should try it sometime."
"I’ll pass," Natsume lies easily, curling up under the blanket.
⊱ ════ ⋆⚜️⋆ ════ ⊰
The interview starts off well, much to Tsukasa’s relief. The tension he’d been holding in his shoulders is almost painful as it melts away gradually, and he mentally thanks the interviewer, a young woman with a fashionable haircut and friendly smile, for her dedication to professionalism despite their own little slip-ups.
They go through the motions of introducing themselves one by one, Arashi, Ritsu, Izumi, Leo, and Tsukasa last. They explain what Knights has been up to these days—divulging some behind the scenes, about Florence, about music, about the fun stuff they’ve been up to recently.
“We can’t leave our princesses in the dark, now can we?” Izumi explains, flashing a smile while Ritsu snickers to himself for a second before agreeing solemnly.
“We haven’t seen much of each other since the new album came out,” he explains slowly, “I’ve been away on sabbatical with my brother to see family abroad.”
“And we’ve been busy with modeling,” Arashi adds, “Not that any of it interferes with Ritsu-chan and Izumi-chan Twitter-feuding every other day.”
“Leo-san’s been busy composing too, right?” Tsukasa hurries the conversation along to avoid conflict. They’ve already received a couple of warnings before for something-or-the-other that Izumi tweeted out in response to Ritsu. Whatever it was, Twitter is not something Tsukasa would ever understand.
“Right,” Leo agrees, nodding, “We’ve also been overseas, for the most part.”
“Does it bother everyone to be away from each other for long periods?” The interviewer asks.
“Not particularly,” Izumi replies, “We’re pretty individual and self-sufficient people.” Leaving out the part where he cooks and drives Leo around when they’re not here.
“Absolutely. We have our own roles to play,” Tsukasa agrees, even though he knows he misses everyone terribly, and that they probably miss each other terribly too.
“But we keep in touch a lot, we even have a LINE group chat,” Arashi says.
“That you spam with selfies,” Izumi protests, “How are we supposed to have a conversation around that?”
“By sending a selfie back? Use your head Izumi-chan!”
Tsukasa relaxes into the familiar flow of the conversation and he decides maybe after this they could pop into the new cafe down the street from ES to try out a new dessert menu. Kohakun had mentioned something about a limited seasonal special and he’s been meaning to drop by and have a taste for himself. Kohakun, after all, doesn't dole out praise lightly.
Maybe he could even get Leo to talk about what’s bothering him.
Lately, he's had even less of a chance to catch Leo alone and have a word. It's frustrating to say the least, not only because Leo’s unpredictability carries him away like the wind but also because he’s been hoping to have some time together. Tsukasa would never admit it but he misses everyone when they’re not around him but he’s missed Leo the most.
But Leo, for whatever incomprehensible reason, doesn’t feel the same, and has done his exceptional best to avoid Tsukasa like the plague. Not that Tsukasa thinks this on purpose or anything, just that it’s odd Leo would conveniently find excuses to desert his usual composing haunts where he knows Tsukasa will inevitably come look for him.
He knows Leo hasn’t been particularly happy recently, he’d assumed it was because of minor trouble abroad or a falling out with a friend, and had reached out via text to lend a hand should Leo require it but to no avail.
Tsukasa sighs. How un-Knightly of him. He returns his focus to the interview and catches the tail end of Arashi saying, “—very gallant, even or especially when it’s not required.”
Ah, so they were talking about Leo. Their fans often comment on Leo’s chivalrous and friendly appearance, much of which is the truth, leaving out his eccentric nature. It’s a Leo Tsukasa knows well, this is the leader figure he’s always imagined Leo to be and reconciled with the Leo he knows, someone he’s always looked up to.
Tsukasa clears his throat and adds, “Leo-san is a very capable individual, too. He’s always looked after us in ways that may not be as overt, but they are meaningful all the same.”
He catches Leo redden to the tips of his ears and his cheeks automatically flush as well when a hush falls over the conversation.
At last Arashi says, “Darling, we were talking about you, you know.”
Ritsu giggles and it’s not directed at him maliciously but it’s still embarrassing! How could he have made such a mistake! He apologises liberally for his mistake, not wanting to admit he’d let his mind wander in the middle of work.
It’s Leo who waves him off. “You’re too serious with work! We should check if he was kidnapped by aliens for a sec there, you okay Suo~?”
Tsukasa flushes a deeper shade of red at this and the interviewer assures him it’s something that happens to everyone and to not let it worry him. “But stay on your guard for live broadcasts,” she adds kindly, and Tsukasa resolves to do better.
The interview wraps up with a promising future for Knights’ fans and they'll be notified once the piece is ready to go into print, the lady says, and bids them all goodbye.
“I am deeply sorry,” Tsukasa bows, “As your leader, I should have known better, please f—”
“It’s okay, Suu-chan,” Ritsu pats his shoulder, “It was pretty funny, all is forgiven.”
“Just don’t do it again,” Izumi says, rolling his eyes, “ And I just know you haven’t been keeping to your sleep schedule. This is bound to happen without seven hours of sleep, you know?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why did you think we were talking about Leo-chan, anyway?” Arashi asks, smoothing down the hem of her trousers.
“You said something about being gallant, so I assumed—”
“Just talk to each other. Please, can you just talk to each other,” Izumi mutters furiously and leaves.
“He’s not mad at you,” Ritsu promises, “See you.”
He hooks his arm in Arashi’s who waves them goodbye and presumably tries to track Izumi down.
Leo, who’s been quiet this whole time, staring at Tsukasa. “Well, I guess we should—”
“No!”
“No?”
“Um. Y-yes. I mean no. would you like to talk?”
Leo nods, and sits on the floor opposite Tsukasa. “What’s up?”
“Are you running away from me?” See, Tsukasa would go through the rigorous process of smalltalk but 1) he’s got an undetermined amount of time with Leo in which he must sort this out, he can’t have another episode like this, and 2) being blunt, Tsukasa has found, is the best way to approach Leo.
“No?” It comes out like a question, “I mean, maybe? I just needed time to think about something!”
“So you were running away from… this something?”
“It’s a… proposition, you could say,” Leo explains.
“A business proposition?” He hasn’t heard anything from Knights on this matter, surely Leo would be considerate enough to inform them if he chose other avenues to pursue than just the path of idols? Or could it be something worse? Things have gone south for Leo before, and Tsukasa is determined to never let that happen again.
He sits down next to Leo on the floor. “Leo-san, if something is bothering you, please let us know. We’re here to help.”
“Hey, hey. It’s nothing bad, Suo. Turn your frown upside down!” Leo smiles.
“Then why have you been so… distant?”
⊱ ════ ⋆⚜️⋆ ════ ⊰
Leo hates seeing people be upset. Especially if it’s on his account.
“I’m not running away,” Leo insists again, but he has been, is the thing. They’ve all run away, in their own little ways, escaping into themselves, where they think is safe. Knights, running off to fight battles when it counts, Knights, when it comes to yielding graciously with matters of the heart. After all, to be known is to be open to hurt.
“You are,” Tsukasa accuses, holding Leo’s wrist tight.
“I’m not,” Leo says now, laying his hand atop Tsukasa’s, “Not anymore, at least.”
Leo moves to face Tsukasa, who’s dipping his head low to avoid catching Leo's gaze, still holding on tight.
"People don't waste away, you know," Leo begins, trying to string his words together, "I mean they do! I sure did try! But not entirely. And I'm still here, right? we sang a requiem and we were born anew instead of moving on with gentle souls and free spirits?"
“What are you trying to say,” Tsukasa asks, trying and failing to sound assertive. He’s scared, suddenly, that this is how Leo will say goodbye; a shower of confusing, pretty words and a kiss on the hand, off into the world like a knight to a deadly war.
“I’m saying,” Leo huffs loudly, “Can you listen for a second, you’re not a newbie anymore, so listen to what I’ve got to say already!”
“I am listening!” Tsukasa yells back, not understanding a word.
“You—I’m saying you’re stuck with me. Is that such a terrible thing to happen?” Leo says softly.
Tsukasa freezes and his face heats up. Surely Leo couldn't mean what he was saying? Of course it's Tsukasa's duty to stick with Leo, whose demands are often ridiculous and always strange to him, who never demands gratitude but praise makes him shine like fireflies from the inside. Of course that's what he means, another outrageous demand that Tsukasa can try his best to fulfil. What he owes out of respect and out of love.
"Of course not. You're mine until Knights lets you go." Tsukasa replies. "This is your—our Knights. If anything, you're the one stuck with me. Don’t run away anymore. Please."
"You're cute," Leo laughs at him, and Tsukasa finds it hard to stay angry, especially when faced with praise. "I'm by your side not because I'm duty-bound. I'm there because I want to be. Through thick and thin, heaven and hell. Plus, if I ever went too far, you’d just come looking for me, right?”
Tsukasa's grip loosens and he weaves his fingers between Leo's.
“So,” Leo begins, at once apprehensive and smug, resting his head against Tsukasa’s, “You think I’m gallant?”
Tsukasa squeaks; he hadn’t meant to, not so loud anyway, but he’s alright in his heart, where Leo’s laughter is, enveloping him warmly.
⊱ ════ ⋆⚜️⋆ ════ ⊰