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It's Okay to Feel Lonely

Summary:

"Just how much time did I waste?"

Koyuki and Konatsu finally open up about their loneliness and their feelings.

[A retelling/rework of chapter 28.5]

Notes:

The dialogue is from/similar to the translation, as a heads up.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The cool breeze coming from the ocean washed over Koyuki as she walked alongside Konatsu. Times like that really reminded her that summer vacation was about to start. Making her way down the steps to the beach, Koyuki soon stopped at the water’s edge, just out of reach of where the waves lapped against the shore.

“Summer vacation is almost here,” Koyuki chimed in to break the silence. She carefully knelt down to look at one of the shells sticking out from the sand. “This last year was a lot of fun, but it feels like I won’t be able to make as many memories this year.”

“Are you gonna be busy?” Konatsu’s soft-spoken voice barely rose over the sound of the waves.

“Yeah,” Koyuki nodded as she stood up. “I have cram school and special classes, too. So I’ll be travelling between here and Matsuyama a lot.”

Koyuki stared down at her feet to gather her thoughts. Butterflies stirred restlessly in her stomach. Her palms felt sweaty, and her heart pounded inside her chest. A part of her still didn’t want to say it, but she knew she had to. She clenched her hands at her sides to gather up her courage.

“So, before summer vacation starts…” Koyuki trailed off. “I’ll be resigning from the Aquarium Club. But I want to pass the title of the club president to you, Konatsu. Though I’ll definitely still come visit the club whenever I can.”

A sad smile pulled on her lips before it was quickly replaced with a small frown.

“Even after I said I’d be here for you earlier-”

“Well this sucks…” Konatsu interrupted. “I’ve wasted so much time. I should have just talked with you about how I was feeling. I should have just cherished the time we have together now.”

Koyuki looked down at Konatsu who was still knelt down in the sand. Her heart squeezed slightly at the sadness that shined behind her eyes in the dim moonlight. She wanted to open her mouth and say something, but Konatsu continued.

“I felt like I was the only one who was lonely; I ended up closing off my own feelings and even stopped going to the club. Just how much time did I waste?”

“But it wasn’t just your fault-” Koyuki was cut off again by Konatsu holding up her hand. Konatsu carefully stood up without lowering her hand and keeping her face turned away.

“I can’t be like you, senpai. I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle everything you’ll leave behind.” A slight waver in Konatsu’s voice forced her to pause and take a breath to steady herself. “So please. Stay the club president. I’ll be able to get through it as long as we’re together.”

Seeing just how hard Konatsu was trying, and how she now wore her heart on her sleeve, made Koyuki’s chest flood with warmth. Another gentle smile formed when she held her hands behind her back.

“Koyuki.”

“Huh?” Konatsu finally turned to meet Koyuki’s eyes. A confused look showed clearly on her face.

“My first name,” Koyuki answered. “I won’t be your senpai after I retire, so…”

She moved her hands from behind her back to reach out towards Konatsu’s hand she still held up towards her. Her fingers gently trailed along Konatsu’s palm until their hands pressed flush against each other. Small grains of sand could be felt between them from inspecting the shells at their feet. The tips of Koyuki’s fingers were warmed up from Konatsu’s until she moved them to twine their fingers together.

“Koyuki…” Konatsu’s voice became even more quiet, nearly drowned out by the waves. She squeezed Koyuki’s hand like it was her lifeline.

“Konatsu,” Koyuki replied as she squeezed her hand back.

In reality, it was a two-way lifeline. She knew Konatsu would be lonely without her, just as much as she would miss Konatsu herself. Without thinking, Koyuki took a small step forward to wrap her free arm around the other girl’s waist. She hugged her tight without letting go of her hand. The moon gave off just enough light to see the slight blush that dusted Konatsu’s cheeks. Koyuki’s smile softened when she pressed their foreheads together. She stared hard into those familiar brown eyes.

“I know it’ll be lonely, and I know it’ll be hard. But we can get through this, together. I know we can.”

“Yeah,” Konatsu said after a long pause. She closed her eyes then let out a content, relaxed sigh. “Together.”

Notes:

So uh, it feels a bit strange to start up a brand new fandom tag on here, ahah ;;;

But... I wanted to write something for this series for a long time now. Nettaigyo means a whole lot to me, and it's become a series that has become very special for me.

So please also consider this my PSA to read this series!