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It's late at night already, most of the team was already in their rooms, probably asleep to be able to focus on the case next morning. But not them, never them. It's been so long since the last time they managed to be together, they would never miss a chance. The hotel bar wasn't full, but a few chats could be heard around them.
"So Mark huh?" The blonde one asks, swirling the whisky inside her cup, the whisky she shouldn't be drinking.
A scoff is heard by her side and she smiles slightly, turning her head so she could see the other woman's face.
"Yeah, Mark." The raven haired girl answers, taking a gulp of her own drink. She scoffs again when she hears Jennifer hum. "What? You're jealous?"
"No."
"Yeah right." Emily shakes her head and takes another gulp.
"I'm not jealous, I just-"
"No. No Jayje, no justs or buts you can't say anything, you have no right to do that." Emily says, not really wanting to get into a fight with the other woman but also not in the mood to listen about what the other had to say about her love life. Not after everything.
"I know, I'm sorry. I was just surprised is all, you didn't tell me anything. I was the last one to know."
"You're not really the first person that I think about telling my love life to."
Jennifer was actually the first person she thought about when it came to love, but she wasn't hers. Would never be hers. So she preferred to keep the blonde woman away from that part of her life.
A hand on her leg took her away from her thoughts and she felt herself tense up, and then sigh.
"Em stop being so defensive." JJ's fingers caressing her tights were enough to make her relax. Damn that woman had no idea about how much power she held over Emily. Or maybe she had an idea. She turned to the blonde and JJ's blue eyes glued to hers made her sigh once more. "I'm sorry okay? Really." The hand on her leg made it's way to her face and Emily couldn't help but close her eyes. God she'd missed that. She'd missed her. "You're not here for very long, I don't wanna fight."
Emily nods, she didn't want to fight either. Not when she would be there for so little time. Not with Jennifer. Not when the last time they've seen each other was when the blonde almost got killed. They've already had their fair share of fights over the years. Emily knew it would get them nowhere. It didn't mean it didn't frustrate her. It did, it does. But Jennifer... She had every piece of Emily's heart and soul and body, and the raven haired woman learned years ago that fighting those feelings was useless. It would always be JJ.
"Let's finish these and go to our rooms yeah?" Emily says, knowing damn well they would not go to their separate rooms, Jennifer nods, finishing her drink in one gulp.
JJ's fingers tangle up with hers while they head to the hotel elevator and Emily hates the way she could never fight this want for the other woman, but she also loves it. She loves every single moment with the blonde the same way she dreads them after. But she could never fight it. Not when Jennifer stops at her door and smiles all knowingly, not when she caresses Emily's arms and then her cheeks. Not when she comes so close Emily can feel her breathing against her, hot and welcoming, not when she waits for Emily to be the one to close the small distance between their lips. Emily always closes the distance. She can't help it, it's Jennifer and it had always been Jennifer and it will always be Jennifer.
There's no Mark nor Will when JJ throws her against the bed and bites her neck aggressively, knowing every single one of Emily's weak spots. There's no coherent thought when the blonde opens her shirt and scratches her waist. There's no memories of the hurt they've put each other through when Jennifer's thumb caresses her pulse point while kissing her messily and fingering her deep and slow. JJ likes to hear her beg and Emily would do anything for her at that moment - and every other moment as well. When Emily cums, she screams the blonde's name and the way JJ moans because the raven haired woman knee hits her center is almost enough to make her cum a second time.
Emily wakes up with a sore body and face buried in blonde hair. JJ is still asleep and her naked scarred back is like an invitation almost impossible to refuse, she wants to trace her mouth through every single one of the woman's scars. It's exhilarating and devastating at the same time, having JJ like that again after so long and knowing it will last no longer than two or three nights more. She'll go back to London and Mark and Jennifer will go back to Will and their children and they will get back to random texting a few days a month. Just like every other time. It's exhausting at times and she knows it's wrong but how can she do anything when sleepy blue eyes shine at her and arms pull her closer and JJ's hoarse voice whispers good morning into her ears and kisses her right after?
They go about their day like they're nothing more than friends and work colleagues, and at night they are back at each other's lips and bodies like it's the last time they'll ever touch each other and it might as well be in their line of work. It's almost two in the morning and they are laid in bed, bodies naked. Emily is exhausted and the way JJ keeps brushing her fingers through her cheeks and lips gets her in the verge of sleep.
"You dreamed of me." Jennifer whispers suddenly.
"I did." Emily answers with her eyes closed, remembering the way JJ's body was almost lifeless in her nightmare, it brings her chills. She doesn't think she could handle that if it ever happened in real life. Living a life without JJ was bad but at least she knew she was alive and well.
"I dreamed of you too... When they got me... I couldn't stop thinking about you."
Emily opens her eyes at that, barely but still. She smiles tiredly at the woman, brings her arm to pull JJ closer to her body, caressing her naked waist.
"Guess we love each other." She says, half jokingly, half 100% knowing it was true.
"I guess so." Jennifer's eyes shine, showing her real feelings. Her eyes had always been truthful, never betraying the way she felt.
Emily kisses her once, and then twice, and one more time and they keep kissing until Emily falls asleep mid kiss, head resting into the blonde's shoulder and hands clutching to JJ's body as if she would disappear if she didn't. Jennifer smiles sadly, caressing raven hair while she imagines how her life would be if they both were actually together. She think it'd be perfect.
Unfortunately that's not how life worked.
The next day they finally catch the killer and while it's a relief to Emily, it also hurts 'cause she knows her time in the States is actually ending, which means her time with JJ is ending. She decides to take the FBI jet with them to visit Garcia because she misses the hacker and also because she's not ready to say goodbye yet.
The whole team goes out to eat and Emily doesn't remember the last time she's been so at ease and content. She'd missed them all so much. Jennifer is looking at her from the other side of the table with a somber smile and the raven haired woman sends a small smile back. It's time, she thinks.
JJ announces she needs to leave and Emily offers to accompany her till the door, no one questions it and a part of the Interpol agent is sure all of them know they have something going on.
Emily's fingers are engulfed by JJ's when they leave and the cold air makes her pull the blonde closer as soon as they are out of the door. She hates this moment.
Their eyes meet and Jennifer's are already blurred by tears. Emily shakes her head.
"Don't cry." She says trying to contain her own tears. "Come here."
She pulls JJ by the chin, connecting their lips in a salty and bitter kiss. They savor it, every single second of the kiss, not knowing when or if it'll happen again. It's always like this. Every time one of them has to leave. But Emily thinks it's better this way, it hurt so much more when, for years, they were at the same place and she had to watch JJ go home to another person everyday. At least this way she could pretend the distance was the only reason they weren't together.
"I love you." Jennifer whispers, hugging the raven haired woman tight.
"I know. I love you too." She lets JJ go from her embrace and while their fingers untangle from each other, Emily can feel the part of her that belongs to JJ go with the blonde. "Till next time Jayje."
Jennifer smiles once more and then she's gone, walking down the street hugging her coat. Emily breathes heavily and it takes a while before she's able to go back inside. Garcia hugs her tightly and the Interpol agent is thankful.
She's used to it, that's their dynamic, she's JJ's lover, the one she loves and the one she can't have. And JJ is well, she's everything, everything Emily has always dreamed of but she can't never reach it. It hurts, but it is what it is.
And it is what it will always be. Two lovers that just can't be.