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Jake was woken up by warm sunlight and a soft hand on his face.
He slowly let his mind rise from sleep into the quiet of the morning. A familiar sight greeted him when he opened his eyes.
Heeseung lay beside him, already awake, his dark hair a little mussed with sleep and his dark eyes still sleepy. He was stunning, as all spirits were by nature. His face young and fresh with youth even if his years far exceeded his appearance.
Heeseung gently brushed his thumb over Jake’s cheek and whispered a greeting to him in his mind.
Good morning.
Jake nuzzled his face into his pillow but grabbed Heeseung’s hand in his own. He was tired from doing a full round of detailed checks for the entire territory. As a nature spirit, it was his job to make sure everything within his territory was thriving in its lifecycle.
I’ll let you sleep.
No… Jake replied in his mind. I’ll get up.
Heeseung was also a spirit. He was a seer. Quite rare since visions of the future were only bestowed up the select few. He was quite old. His lifespan many times that of a human.
Jake would also grow to be that old, though he was still young.
They were bonded by their souls and were able to communicate through emotions, directly in each other’s thoughts, though they still used words at times.
You are tired. I will make breakfast.
Jake hummed at Heeseung’s proposition. He loved coming downstairs to Heeseung making breakfast, though he missed his warmth beside him.
Heeseung was Jake’s first soulmate. He was the one who took care of Jake as he grew from a vulnerable spirit on his first day on earth, into a young nature spirit. Every spirit was given to an older soul who could nurture them into maturity.
Jake eventually pulled himself up from his dosing and stretched out the morning haziness. Their room was bright and cozy, full of live flowers and vines that Jake grew. Some intentionally and some unconsciously. The light, fragrant smell was perpetually in the air of the cottage they lived in, away from the human world in the heart of the forest.
Most spirits were elusive and lived in the authenticity of the nature of their territory.
Jake liked living in their cottage. It was modern in a sense, but run by more “magical” elements as humans sometimes called it. The stream supplied their running water to the house, yet the heat in the winter came from their large fireplace. It was a good mix.
Jake headed into the kitchen, passing his small indoor plant nursery, and Heeseung’s study. The kitchen was just as bright and full of life as the rest of the house.
Heeseung was in front of the sink, washing strawberries clean. Jake tried to reach out in his mind but was met with nothing.
Why won’t you let me in?
Jake didn’t receive a response, either in his mind or any sign from Heeseung who went on as if he hadn’t asked.
Heeseung closed off his conscience to him very rarely, never for as long as a day. Jake felt a little lonely without Heeseung’s mental presence with him.
He knew Heeseung saw dark things at times. He was a seer which meant there was always something he was having a vision of in the future or the past. Usually he closed his mind off from Jake at those times. They were sometimes unpleasant. Jake had never been witness to any of his visions; though he had caught glimpses of Heeseung’s reactions seeing or feeling ghosts and spirits.
He was pulled out of his thought by a soft hand on his own and then a softer touch on his mind.
I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to experience that one by accident.
Jake nodded, studying Heeseung’s face closely. There was a shadow of sadness but it was quickly replaced by a fond smile.
Did you need me?
Oh no, just checking on you. Jake replied mentally. I’m going to go out and check on the garden today.
Heeseung nodded, squeezing his arm gently before moving to his study.
Being a nature spirit came with responsibilities, such as him being given an area of territory that was under his care. From the plants, to the trees, to the animals, it was all his domain.
His gift was a unique one, though not terribly uncommon among his type of spirits. He was able to facilitate life. He could affect the give and take of this energy, though he could not create it. It was an art of redirection from the sources of life he found to others.
Many times, he was considered a guardian. Such as when some creatures needed a bit more help.
On his regular round of the forest, he found a bunny lying in the open, obviously in distress. While he didn’t like to affect the cycle of life often, he was drawn to the tiny creature, wanting to help.
He carried the small animal back to the cottage, better able to take care of it there. He had rehabilitated quite a few animals there. They seemed to recognize his good will in his spirit.
“I brought home a guest.” he announced when Heeseung came to see what he was settling into a nest of blankets in a basket.
“A baby?”
“Mm hm.” Jake hummed.
Heeseung crouched beside the basket and ran his thumb over the bunny’s soft head.
“Just too young to be alone. I didn’t see the mother anywhere.”
Heeseung gave him a small smile and caressed the bunny’s small head once more before drawing away.
Jake was quick to reach out and grasp his fingers, turning his wrist to expose the crimson stain on his sleeve. He had been suspicious for a fraction of a moment but now his worry was confirmed.
“I’ll draw life for you.” Jake said.
“No… I’m just fine.” Heeseung said softly but Jake knew he wasn’t.
His fingertips were cold again and he was hiding how he was fading. Perhaps he would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for Jake’s sharp eye.
Jake had tried to boost his soul by drawing life from the plants and sometimes animals and funneling it into him, but it had only been temporary. An expendable energy.
Heeseung sat in his favorite chair, pulling his feet underneath him and opening his book. Jake carefully nestled the bunny back into the cradle he had made.
He drew water and brought it to boil on the stove. There were strings of herbs and flowers hanging over the small window in their kitchen which he deftly picked through to flavor the tea in the kettle.
He brought the tea to Heeseung, wanting to warm him up. He gently took his hand and pressed it to the warm cup he had poured to draw his attention to it.
Thank you.
Heeseung hummed in his mind and flashed him a smile.
He was always so calm and relaxed even when his life was literally on a quickly fading cycle. Jake was both envious and frustrated by his demeanor. He wanted to shake some will to live into him.
He knew Heeseung had been alive centuries longer than him. Jake was only a small fraction of his age. Maybe life did get tiring when it was long enough to get lost in.
Spirits lives on earth did come to an end eventually, though they did not die like humans. Their soul fades until it can’t bear the weight of their human body any longer. Heeseung’s had been fading for a long time.
“I’ll be going to check on the north border tomorrow.” Jake told him.
“You just went though…”
“There were some fallen trees after the storm we had and many animals lost their homes. I just want to check on them again.”
Heeseung nodded.
“Be safe.”
Jake knew the forest like the back of his hand. He was never in danger of animals attacking him or not knowing when a natural event was occurring. The woods were like his second home.
Sometimes, the woods were intruded on. Sometimes it was a human with no ill will, to which Jake let them go about their business, but sometimes it was another spirit. Those times could be dangerous.
When Jake was close to the border, he picked up on another presence nearby. It was distinctly human since their soul imprints were not as vibrant. He took a small detour and observed them out of sight.
They seemed like simple hikers, perhaps lost in the woods, though they seemed confident. Until they came upon the border of Jake’s territory. They seemed to become confused, not crossing into his part of the woods.
Jake was intrigued until he realized what was happening. Heeseung must be throwing up a barrier to keep them out. He had the ability to keep humans from a certain area by confusing them and sending them away. Jake didn’t think it was necessary but Heeseung didn’t want them coming across their cottage.
Usually it would be okay, but Heeseung was in no condition to be expending his energy to throw up a barrier.
Jake reached out in his mind, trying to tell him to drop it, but they were too far away and their telepathic connection couldn’t reach so far. He had no choice but to turn back.
The closer he got to the cottage, the more he worried, hoping that Heeseung had dropped the barrier. Even as he drew close, their connection didn’t come back which meant Heeseung was not able to sustain it.
Jake ran the last stretch back to the cottage, becoming more concerned.
His sharp senses picked up the scent of blood quickly. He surged through the house, a few plants sprouting from the cracks in the floor or the walls as he flung open the door to Heeseung’s study.
The seer was slumped over his desk, head in his arms. Heeseung’s own soul throbbed in his chest when he felt how much Heeseung had faded, his soul weakly flickering in comparison. He was already weak enough without expending immense energy to erect a barrier.
Jake didn’t waste any time gathering Heeseung into his arms. The seer’s head lay on his shoulder, too drained to put up a fight. Jake staggered to their bathroom, yanking on the knob for the water. He adjusted the water to a heated temperature as it flowed.
He kept the water just below scalding as he lowered Heeseung into the bath. His skin was pale as the sheets on their bed and his eyes were closed. If someone were to feel the chill of his skin and the faint whisper of his pulse, they would assume he was dead, but Jake was trained on his soul, faintly pulsing with effort to stay alive.
Heeseung’s head lay back against the side of the tub, exposing his neck for Jake to press two fingers against the underside of his jaw, still feeling for life to reassure himself again.
Steam from the water clouded the bathroom and beaded on Jake’s skin. He knew the level of heat Heeseung could take without burning. He was just desperate to get his body temperature up.
Once the tub was filled, Jake slowly began removing Heeseung’s soaked clothing, having to move his limbs since his body was limp.
Jake lifted Heeseung’s slender hand in both of his, pressing his lips against his knuckles gently as he watched for signs of life. He was drawn to the smudge of crimson around Heeseung’s lips where he must have wiped away blood.
The sun began to set when Heeseung’s eyes fluttered open, his eyelashes brushing his cheeks softly as he blinked a few times.
Thank goodness…
Jake reached forward and brushed his hair away from his forehead. He was much warmer then.
You’re safe…
Heeseung’s presence in his mind was faint but he could feel the relief from the older boy that he was safe.
I’m safe. He affirmed. You shouldn’t have expended so much energy. Your soul…
Is fine. I just want to rest.
Jake hated to cry so he fiercely bit down into his lip to hold back the storm in his chest. His hand tightened marginally around Heeseung’s.
They stayed like that a bit longer, Heeseung closing his eyes wearily. Jake eventually bore the task of getting him dry and then into bed. He still worried about his body temperature so he hugged him from behind once they had settled.
Don’t go out until I feel better.
Jake nodded against him. As always, Heeseung was looking out for him first.
The morning brough an anxious spirit on Jake. He couldn’t shake the dark clouds hanging in his mind.
Heeseung slept until the evening. He could have slept longer but jake could sense he was on edge as well and wanted to be there for Jake.
He came down the stairs slowly while Jake was making dinner quietly.
“You’re awake.” Jake commented.
Heeseung nodded, heading slowly to his side. Jake expected a hug or caress but he just leaned past to glance out the window.
“No one is nearby.” Jake said.
Heeseung withdrew and pressed his hand over his heart, looking pained.
“Please don’t try to move around. Rest.” Jake pleaded, looping his arm around his waist.
“We are in danger…” Heeseung whispered.
“I took care of it. Please Heeseung…”
“A hunter?”
“N-No, it was just a few wandering travelers. They didn’t even know they were entering our territory.” Jake responded.
Heeseung nodded but winced and moved slowly to his chair.
“I will help you. Let me-.”
Jake was held from running off by Heeseung’s hand on his wrist.
“Stay with me for a bit. I’ll be fine.” Heeseung murmured, his head resting back against the cushion of his chair as his eyes fluttered shut.
Truly nothing was more painful than seeing someone you love in pain. Jake felt like an aching hole had opened up in his chest, sucking all the life from him. He was so worried about Heeseung it physically hurt.
The next two days were incredibly emotionally draining as Heeseung slowly recovered from how much energy he had lost. Jake didn’t do much other than stay by his side and watch out for him and his needs.
Heeseung could tell being inside all day was starting to make him antsy, so he proposed they spend the day outside. He sat in the lush grass of the meadow, collecting flowers from around him with Jake by his side.
Jake kept poking more flowers up from the earth so Heeseung could weave them together. He was so peaceful. He always radiated a peace that Jake soaked up like the sun.
Jake suddenly leaned forward, overwhelmed by emotion. He lifted Heeseung’s chin up from his task with his hand and surveyed his face.
I’m alright. Heeseung thought, reassuring him with a soft smile.
I know. I just wanted to see your face.
He could see Heeseung’s expression soften and his eyes get that gentle look they often did when he looked at Jake.
I can feel you getting more attached to me. Your life is long and full ahead of you... Don’t waste your time on me.
Our souls are bound together. How can I not?
Heeseung’s hand came up to rest on Jake’s for a moment before sliding it away.
My centuries are coming to an end. Even the connection we have grows weak.
Don’t say that…
Jake reached for Heeseung’s hand and intertwined their fingers.
I can keep you alive forever. My gift is the gift of life.
Heeseung smiled sadly, making Jake’s heart twist.
My soul can’t be saved by the lifeblood of un-eternal creatures. Eventually it will have to fade.
I can try.
Life is sacred. It cannot be given and taken at will.
You are precious to me. Is that not sacred? I have been given a gift for a purpose.
I am not your purpose.
Heeseung squeezed his hand gently and then dipped his head down again to weave another daisy into the chain on his lap. Jake watched, his chest tight and heart conflicted.
Life without Heeseung seemed devoid of love and companionship and vibrancy. He spoke so casually of it and yet it felt as if the end of the very world for Jake.
Heeseung lifted the flower crown and nestled it onto Jake’s head. Jake bowed his head, heart heavy and bleeding.
“Don’t cry…” Heeseung whispered, his fingertips brushing away the tears that slid down his cheeks. “I’ll always be with you even when I’m not here.”
Can’t you stay with me? Please… I’ll give up anything to keep you here.
“You’re young. So young.” Heeseung replied, his voice so soft and gentle. “You haven’t yet given your gift to the world. You are free and it is beautiful.”
I haven’t done anything for you. You’ve done so much for me but I have never given you anything.
“No…” Heeseung leaned forward so his forehead rested against Jake’s.
You have made me so happy. I’ve lived here in peace for ten years. I’ve gotten to see you grow. That’s all I wanted.
I’m not ready for you to leave me. I still have so much to learn.
This is the way life is. You will learn it same as I did. This life is not eternal and our soul bonds cannot infinitely last in a temporary world.
I will be with you when my soul fades as well?
Heeseung pushed forward slightly to press a kiss to Jake’s nose.
Don’t think of that now. Your life is for the living in the present.
It was still too hard of a truth for Jake to bear. He turned away from it at every opportunity, even when Heeseung relentlessly reminded him.
He spent the next day on his own, out traveling through the forest. Heeseung was well enough for him to leave alone and he didn’t feel particularly drawn to stay with him since all he spoke of now was plans for his future. Plans that didn’t have Heeseung in them.
When he did come home, he felt guilty for having those thoughts. Guilty for running away from the person he wanted to stay.
“Heeseung?” Jake called into the dark house.
Heeseung?
He didn’t receive an answer, though nothing stirred at him from their soul bond. He moved through the house, ending up in the bedroom.
Heeseung was asleep on the bed, a book tucked into his hand as he lay on his side. Jake quietly moved towards him, taking the book from his hand and setting it aside.
The poppies Jake had planted by their bedside looked a little wilted so he stirred some life into them before drawing the curtains closed to darken the room. How lonely it would be with no one to come home to. An empty bed.
Jake violently expelled the thoughts from his mind. A few thorns sprouted from the vines around their doorway which he quickly pruned away with a flick of his hand.
He washed himself quietly and dressed for bed, lucky not to wake Heeseung who was usually a light sleeper. He carefully tucked himself underneath the covers beside Heeseung.
Goodnight. I love you.
He rolled over and draped his arm over Heeseung’s waist. He fell asleep to the gentle rise and fall of his breathing and the contented hum of their souls in close proximity.
In the morning, Heeseung had already left the warmth of their bed. He had tucked Jake in as always, the blankets pulled up to his shoulders.
When they had first bonded, Jake had a hard time sleeping with him. He was a restless sleeper and tossed and turned often. Heeseung usually ended up on the couch.
Over time, something in him settled. It was strange. Perhaps he felt safe with Heeseung there. He was a warm body beside him making him feel less alone.
Now, Heeseung woke up early every morning and went to his study to write. He could spend hours in there but he limited his time poring over books to when Jake was asleep or away.
Jake tried not to bother him as he made breakfast for them. Usually Heeseung cooked but recently Jake had been doing it. He spread biscuits with the homemade preserves he had made from blackberries last season and brought them to Heeseung.
The seer was writing at his desk, his chin in his hand while the other scratched a pen over the page.
“Breakfast.”
Jake set the plate down at the corner of his desk and moved the precariously stacked pile of books off of his desk and onto the bookshelf.
“I’m almost done with it.” Heeseung ran his fingers over the pages of the book beneath him.
Jake nodded, not wanting him to be done. It was one more thing he could stay for.
“Jake… please don’t be sad. I’m at peace with it.”
“I’m not.”
“Let’s enjoy what time we have left.” Heeseung smiled.
“All time after that will be meaningless.” Jake grumbled.
Heeseung smiled softly and nudged the jam closer to him.
“You will have another soul to bond to. One that is far more similar to you in regards to soul gifts.”
“I don’t want to meet someone else. How am I even supposed to know what to do? You basically did all the work when we bonded.”
“There is a whole library of books for you to read as well as what I have taught you. It will not be hard.” Heeseung replied.
“It’s strange though. And unfamiliar. I don’t like new things.”
“You will be surprised I think.” Heeseung said. “You will be happy.”
“I prefer the nature alone…”
Heeseung reached across the table and pressed two fingers to Jake’s wrist. Jake rolled his eyes but then let them fall shut.
Heeseung then flooded his mind with memories, all of his past life. He had seen some of them before. Others were new. Heeseung with another spirit, for the majority of his lifetime. A brief time in the beginning where he had been raised by a fading soul like himself. And now he was doing the same for Jake.
“There is so much ahead of you with this spirit. We will only have existed together for a short amount of time.”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Jake mumbled.
“Alright… I’ll let you think about it.”
Jake turned right back into his familiar habit.
He ran away.
He took off into the forest, drawing further and further away from the cottage. He drew the life source from some plants as he went, storing it away for him to give to Heeseung.
He was close to the boundary of his territory when he stopped dead in his tracks, something suddenly missing.
He couldn’t feel Heeseung through their bond.
Terror ran through him as he searched for a hint of Heeseung’s soul only to find emptiness.
He tore off through the forest, racing back to the cottage. Everything blurred into a panicked surge of energy driving him back to Heeseung. He prayed that his worst fear hadn’t come so soon.
“Heeseung!!” he shouted as soon as he burst in the door.
He screamed out through their soul bond as well, suddenly getting a flicker of response from Heeseung.
Heeseung turned towards him at his explosive entrance, his face surprised.
Jake rushed forward and drew him into a fierce hug.
“Are you alright?”
Heeseung touched his shoulders, gently holding him at arm’s length.
“I couldn’t feel you!” Jake sobbed. “I couldn’t-.”
Heeseung caught Jake’s face in his hands and spoke to his mind, trying to soothe him.
Shh… it’s okay.
“I couldn’t feel you-.”
Jake dragged in a gasping breath and then pressed his hand against Heeseung’s chest, his fingertips pressing in a tad strongly as he felt his beating heart under his palm.
I’m here.
Jake sobbed with relief, sinking to his knees. Heeseung knelt with him, his hands still holding his face gently.
“It’s normal.” Heeseung spoke audibly. “It’s-.”
“It’s not normal!”
“I withdrew from our bond because my soul was tired.” Heeseung explained. “You were so far away I didn’t think you would notice.”
“I thought- I thought-.”
“I’m sorry.”
“W-What does this mean? Are you fading?” Jake stammered tearfully.
“It’s hard for me to maintain our connection outside of close proximity. I just wanted to preserve my energy.” Heeseung explained. “I thought you would know what I was doing.”
“You scared me-.”
Jake squeezed his arm tightly, reminding himself that he would know when Heeseung began to fade quickly.
“I won’t do it without you knowing again.”
Heeseung cradled him close and pressed his cheek to Jake’s hair as he cried out the remaining fear and relief.
Jake sat sorrowfully as Heeseung made dinner. Every time Heeseung sent him a smile, he would pout in response. Heeseung pressed his thumb against his bottom lip as he passed him to get to the pantry.
“Tuck that away. I’m just fine so you don’t have to pout.”
Jake crossed his arms petulantly, wanting to milk it for what it was worth. He had always been the more dramatic of the two. He didn’t believe Heeseung had an ounce of drama in him.
He had softened by the time night spread its blanket over the sky. Heeseung had started a fire and the warmth washed away the cold icicles of fear in Jake’s heart.
He watched as Heeseung sat on the floor with a needle and thread to patch up a rip in the seam of his jacket. He had an impressive array of skills he had picked up over the decades which came in handy.
I can still feel you wallowing in despair.
Heeseung’s voice in his mind held a hint of amusement in it.
Not fair. You really scared me.
I did, but I also apologized. Is there something more you want from me?
Jake let out a small breath of frustration. He was being childish and Heeseung pointing it out so calmly and gently it made him feel a bit embarrassed.
Come here.
Heeseung set aside his jacket and motioned for Jake to sit with him on the rug in front of the fire. His back rested against the couch.
Jake grumbled a bit under his breath but sat down in between Heeseung’s legs.
Heeseung leaned forward and pulled Jake back so his chest pressed against his back. Jake melted back against him, cocooned in the warmth from the fire and the warmth of Heeseung behind him.
Heeseung’s fingers slipped through his hair and dragged along his scalp. Jake hummed and tilted his head back so it rested on Heeseung’s shoulder. He loved when Heeseung did his hair. Not only did it feel good, but there was purpose in it. It was a tradition that nature spirits only participated in with someone they loved and were bonded with.
Words didn’t have to be shared as Heeseung’s fingers combed out any tangles from his hair. He nudged Jake’s head forward so he could begin to weave small braids against the side of his head.
Even though Jake’s hair was short, he managed to make them neat and symmetrical. Years of practice had made him an expert. His fingers were gentle but swift. Four small braids decorated the side of his head, representing the elements.
Heeseung wrapped his arms around his waist afterwards and gently tugged him back against him.
One day you will braid someone’s hair like I do for you.
Jake’s heart sank at the implication that one day Heeseung wouldn’t be there to do it for him. He laced his hands on top of Heeseung’s which rested on his stomach.
I’ve seen them in my visions.
Jake bit his lip. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to face that reality.
You still don’t wish to know about them?
Jake tapped his fingers over Heeseung’s hand without responding.
I know you are afraid to see into the future… but your heart for them is pure.
My heart is only for you.
Heeseung rested his chin on Jake’s shoulder, sensing how miserable he felt.
I want to share with you… I have these visions for a reason.
I don’t want to know.
Heeseung moved one of his hands, rubbing over his waist in a comforting motion.
He looks at you like you hung the stars and you follow him as if he drew the mountains.
Jake pushed himself upright with his hands on Heeseung’s thighs, dislodging his head and arms.
“I said I don’t want to know.”
It is beautiful. Heeseung persisted. Your soul is… happy.
“Don’t tell me.” Jake pushed to his feet; stomach twisted unpleasantly. “I have no future with this person.”
Heeseung looked up at him from the floor with sad eyes. Jake couldn’t bear it.
“I’m going to bed.”
The next two nights were as normal as could be expected. They lived in harmony as they always did. Until Heeseung finished his book.
“What are you doing?” Jake asked, frowning when he closed the study door behind him. He never closed the door.
“I finished.” Heeseung replied. “When you are ready, the book is on my desk.”
Jake bit his bottom lip until it hurt. He knew the book was for him but he hated it deeply. It was a goodbye present for him and he had not yet accepted the goodbye.
That night, he finally sacrificed a small portion of his heart to make Heeseung happy. He knew Heeseung wanted to share about his soulmate desperately but had respected Jake’s firm stubbornness.
When they were lying in bed, Jake’s head on Heeseung’s chest, he finally asked.
Tell me about him.
Jake could feel Heeseung’s relief that he had asked through their bond. He ran his fingers lightly over Jake’s back as he responded.
He’s a gentle soul. He is healing but he is also uncertain. His soul was deeply wounded when he was young.
H-He’s hurt?
Jake didn’t like the sound of that. He couldn’t handle another person fading away before his eyes.
In spirit, not in body. He will not fade so young but insecurities trouble him. He has not had a soul partner all this time.
Why?
Life gives and takes as it flows. He experienced loss early on.
Jake tucked his arm a little closer around Heeseung and sighed.
I know you are afraid but you will be able to love him. Your heart will be ready to accept him in.
How can you be sure?
I’ve seen it. I can feel it. You hold him like he is the most precious thing to you.
Jake couldn’t imagine. He just wanted to be held by Heeseung.
Tomorrow I will gather life for you.
Jake…
Please just let me try again. Just once more. I have been storing up for you.
It will not work.
It will.
Jake spent the entire day starting the next morning to go through the forest and pull the life sources from the environment. He knew it was not something he should be doing, but he was desperate. He believed that if he collected enough life energy for Heeseung, then he could refill his soul in a sense.
When he returned to the cottage, he was bursting with energy, and hope.
“Jake please. I don’t want you to do this.” Heeseung told him yet again.
“I can do it.”
“It’s never been done before.”
Jake waved away his apprehension and forged ahead.
“It will be like when I feed life into one of the creatures I find who is injured. I will give it to you and then you will sleep as your soul absorbs it and then you will be whole again.”
Heeseung was compliant enough to let him do as he wanted.
He lay down in their bed, letting Jake chatter on about how it would work, at least, what he assumed would work.
Jake was honestly excited at the potential he carried. He knelt over Heeseung on the bed and placed his hands on his chest.
Wait.
Heeseung’s hands caught his wrists.
What if it’s too much?
“I’ll be careful.” Jake said quickly.
Heeseung looked apprehensive but let go of his hands and lay still so he could begin.
It started off small, just Jake letting energy flow through their soul bond into Heeseung in little spurts as it leaked out. Then he let go, beginning to feed it all into Heeseung.
Slow...
Heeseung warned but Jake was losing control a bit. It still felt good though. The vibrancy of life was flowing through him and blocking out almost everything else.
Too much Jake- too much.
Jake ignored him, the life stored in his body vast and in need of an outlet.
Jake- please stop.
Heeseung’s hand grasped Jake’s bicep tightly, his chest rising and falling rapidly. In his focused determination, Jake could only feel the life rushing from his hands.
H-Hurts- you’re hurting me-.
Jake was so desperately hopeful that Heeseung’s voice in his mind was just barely a whisper as he surged energy through their soul bond.
Heeseung screamed, the sound shattering Jake’s heart and soul. Jake felt it then, the pain he was in, shooting through their bond. It was terrifying and excruciating and Jake flinched away from it, snapping off their connection again.
It drew a short cry from Heeseung, so agonized that Jake panicked.
He reached out with his bond, expecting to feel a strong connection with Heeseung’s strengthened soul but instead he only felt deep pain that made him flinch and curl forward.
Stop! Please stop! It hurts!
Heeseung was screaming in his mind and crying underneath him. His back arched up, head tilted back to show the sweat glistening on his collarbones and the tight clench of his jaw.
Jake didn’t know what to do, all-consuming panic swallowing him whole.
He had only meant to feed into Heeseung. His reaction was shocking and frightening. It had all unraveled in moments.
“What do I do?” Jake cried, desperate to reverse what he had done.
D-Don’t touch me- leave- please leave!
Heeseung groaned through gritted teeth and dragged his nails down Jake’s thigh, still in obvious pain.
Jake scrambled back, putting enough distance between them to stand at opposite sides of the room.
Heeseung slowly quieted, but it took him a long time before the pain Jake had unknowingly inflicted faded into a dull pulse. Jake couldn’t resist going to him then.
Heeseung whimpered as Jake drew him up and into his arms. He pressed him against his chest, rocking him slowly.
Please no more…
Heeseung’s voice in his mind was broken and hurting.
“No more.” Jake whispered, tearing up again. “I’m so sorry.”
Heeseung trembled in his arms, his breathing still heavy. Jake didn’t dare touch his soul, afraid of how it could hurt him.
“I didn’t mean it. I just wanted to help.” Jake said tearfully. “I didn’t mean to push you. I didn’t know it would hurt you.”
Heeseung’s hand touched his side, trying to let him know it was okay.
“I’m so sorry.”
Heeseung was exhausted. He lay with Jake holding him close until he fell asleep. Jake wanted to cry at how unfair it all was. He just wanted to save Heeseung. Buy him some time.
It was too much of a stretch. The mortal lives of those Jake had taken from could not replace the soul of Heeseung. The only way to coexist was to expel it.
Heeseung spent days comforting Jake. Even when he was up and about, Jake followed him everywhere. Heeseung poured all his love and time into him instead of pushing him away to get space.
He reminded him that his gift was still precious and he shouldn’t shy away from using it just because of one mistake. Jake tried to reassure him but he was also breaking down emotionally as Heeseung grew weaker by the day.
Heeseung spent most of his time in bed, the room feeling dim even though it was as it had always been.
Heeseung’s soul barely lifted from its hibernation. He only responded to Jake in his mind, his body too tired to expend any unnecessary energy.
One morning, Jake had some hope, since Heeseung came to him while he made breakfast.
Jake’s heart broke when he realized Heeseung was only telling Jake that it was almost time for him to go.
I’m in pain. My soul is ready to let go.
I’m not ready.
Jake swallowed hard, tears rising quickly.
I want to stay for you but… my soul is tired. I want to rest.
Heeseung leaned his forehead against Jake’s shoulder. Jake’s squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his lips together tightly to try and hold back tears. He could feel how tired Heeseung was. The way his soul bond was weak and his body was exhausted.
He shifted, wrapping his arms around Heeseung’s waist and holding him close.
Heeseung hummed softly, pressing his soft cheek against the side of Jake’s neck.
Just hold on until the flowers bloom. Please?
It’s too long. I can already feel it all slipping through my fingers.
Jake sobbed, sudden and harsh against him.
You have to see the flowers bloom. One last time.
I’ve seen them many times with you. They are memories I will hold forever.
Please…
It’s too hard. I’m fading fast.
Jake hugged him a little closer, trying not to squeeze too tight.
Be with me when I go. That’s all I ask.
Jake nodded. Anything for him.
Heeseung was fading quickly, driving Jake into despair. He spent a full day sobbing into his chest, begging him with everything he had to stay. Deep down he knew it was for Heeseung that he needed to let go. It was hurting him to hold on but he was selfish.
I want to show you the flowers.
Jake said to him early in the morning, before the sun had begun to slide from the horizon. He lay with his head on Heeseung’s chest, unable to part from him.
Heeseung just made a soft noise in his throat.
Daisies. Your favorite flower. They will bloom everywhere and you can make flower crowns for me. We can read in the meadow.
A few tears slid from Jake’s cheeks to Heeseung’s cotton shirt.
Will you bring me a daisy?
Heeseung’s presence was so faint in his mind even with them physically being pressed together.
I will… I will.
Jake pushed himself up, sniffling and trying to gather himself for his task. Heeseung smiled up at him gently. With visible effort, he reached his hand up and brushed across Jake’s cheek for a moment.
Jake cradled his hand in his own, leaning his cheek into it. How he savored every touch Heeseung gave him.
I love you.
Jake’s lip quivered at the gentle confession Heeseung gave him.
I love you more. Forever and always.
My sweet daisy…
Heeseung whispered in his mind.
With effort, Jake stood, wiping his face and moving away to collect a real daisy for him. He cried on his way out of the cottage and into the meadow. It wasn’t yet spring but Jake would make it spring if it took every last bit of his soul’s strength.
He drew flowers out of the ground in handfuls, pulled vines from their roots, and sprinkled the grass with clovers. It was a rushed spring but it would have to do.
He carefully gathered a bundle of daisies, all fresh and alive. Their sweet smell was faint and clean, just like Heeseung.
It couldn’t have taken Jake more than a few minutes to collect the daisies.
As he stepped into the threshold of the cottage, he knew.
There was an emptiness there. His soul reached out and found nothing.
His hand squeezed the stems of the daisies as fresh tears rolled down his face.
It wasn’t bloom yet.
He hadn’t gotten to see the flowers.
Heeseung looked peaceful when he went to him. His face was as gentle as always and his body was where Jake had left him.
He was gone.
Jake sank to his knees beside his bed and pressed the daisies to his chest.
I brought you flowers.
Nothing.
I brought you daisies like you asked for. I made it spring outside. It’s so beautiful…
Jake captured Heeseung’s hand in his, still faintly warm and pressed his lips against it.
I want to show you my flowers.
Jake knew his words didn’t leave his own mind. His soul had no companion.
Please come back so I can show you my flowers.
Jake lay his head on the bed, his chest aching with how hard he cried. He didn’t let go of Heeseung’s hand even though there was no life in him anymore.
Please don’t leave me… I brought you daisies.
He buried Heeseung underneath the tree with the white blossoms. He knew that was where Heeseung would want to be. His grief was mixed with a hint of happiness. Heeseung had lived out his years well and would be free of all pain or struggles.
He hoped Heeseung was looking down on him. Proud of him.