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Red. Everything was smeared in red. The clouds in the sky, the trees on the ground, the lava, marines, pirates, everything was either stained or glowing in red. But red was always on Luffy since ages ago. His undying spirit, his tenacity, those were always ignited in bright red, just like how there was always red in his clothes. So it wasn’t unusual to see him in red. Only this time it wasn’t from his particular getup on his skin. It was from his blood that kept oozing all over his body, and probably mixed with Law’s blood since his ally was lying unconscious in his arms, and maybe from the rest of his crewmates and comrades too, who were not in any better state, even after Luffy barely managed to move them far away from the marines and the flood of lava.
Red was Luffy’s color and yet now he ran away from it. Ran away from the sinister Fleet Admiral who kept throwing some magmatic punches everywhere. Ran away from any burning objects around him. Ran away in attempts to collect his friends, which almost awarded him a red hot blow to his face.
He never ran away this much yet he didn’t feel like stopping. Perhaps running was his only option, or maybe he somehow developed a new ability to run away in a battle, as he was quietly catching his breaths on the ground, hiding from the Red Dog of marines.
But maybe Luffy had started running away a long time ago. When he knew the time he needed to fight Shanks was getting nearer, or when he realized Admirals were on a different level, let alone a Fleet Admiral. Or maybe he was actually running away from the truth, that he was fucking scared of this whole ordeal in order to achieve his dream would not be worth the price. Scared that it would cost so much more than he could imagine. And mostly he was scared that he would end up not being able to do anything about it, especially when his friends were dying for his sake, just like how he couldn’t save Ace and let him die in his arms.
There’s never an easy way to be Pirate King to begin with, Luffy knew, and he thought he was ready. Yet he was trembling in fear as the figure in the red suit finally found him in what was supposed to be the woods. It turned out that he was too exhausted to realize almost all the trees around him had melted down, leaving him starkly visible from afar.
However, the captain couldn’t move. Despite his body excruciatingly aching, he couldn’t leave his comrades. Moreover, as he looked at the malicious grin on Akainu's face, Luffy realized that all of this chaos might be his own fault. That his selfish whim and recklessness might finally have turned into an utter mayhem he couldn’t handle. And he realized it too late, that he was not strong enough, that he couldn’t protect the ones whom he treasured the most.
So he thought this might be a punishment, as he didn’t budge when the enormous being sent a wave of magma in the shape of a dog head towards him. And he thought he deserved to be blamed, as he closed his eyes, clutching his dear ally tighter when the sizzling sound came closer and closer.
One second. Two seconds. He kept waiting for his final judgement, before he realized it never hit him, even when he could hear the hiss crackling loud right in front of him.
Luffy dared to take a peek, then instantly opened his eyes wide, gasping in shock. A muscular back was facing him, hands spread open on either side, smoke emanating both from the man’s body and the ground, yet the man still pridefully stood strong, as if reminding the young man behind him.
“A wound on one’s back is the shame of a swordsman.”
Luffy immediately knew who it was.
“Zoro!!!”
As the piercings glinted, just like the flickers on the tip of his green hair, Zoro slightly turned his head, taking a glance at Luffy who was still shaking.
The swordsman, still in a stubborn manner to hold on, tugged a smile.
“It’s an honor, Captain.”
Then he fell forward, almost seemed deliberately, as if covering his fresh wound on the chest from his captain.
On the other hand, as his first mate’s face met the ground, a trauma surfaced in Luffy’s mind. The heat, the burnt smell, the smile, those were the same like back then, still sending chills down his spine. The sight of another comrade blocking, taking a blow for him was indeed horrifying. He knew because it already happened before, when Ace took the blow from the very same man years ago. And in that moment Luffy realized that staying could cause another attack coming towards his comrades.
Therefore, as the smoke around him slowly subsided, while already on the verge of consciousness, he got on his feet, facing off the mighty Fleet Admiral who still had that same wicked look. Akainu’s mouth seemed to say something but was too faint to be heard in the midst of explosions that were suddenly all over the place—perhaps marines had already surrounded them.
Yet Luffy still could grasp what that devil probably said.
“Give it up, Straw Hat. This is justice.”
And Luffy couldn’t believe he almost said that he would. He would give it up. Because in all honesty, he didn’t have any power left to beat this bastard, and his friends were all knocked out. So instead of saying anything, he fixed his hat, giving a last glance at each of his friends, then walked forward towards the magma user who now smirked in satisfaction. Luffy might not be ready about whatever it took to become the Pirate King but at the very least he was ready to die.
Then suddenly time slowed down, and it felt odd, as Akainu said something more that the young pirate couldn't care less, because Luffy started to recall the day when he tried to save his brother, when in the end what happened was the other way around; Ace saved him. And as he saw magma start accumulating in Akainu’s hand, he now realized that he never knew what Ace was thinking back then, when the man suddenly leapt in front of him, only to have his chest absorbed slowly in tremendous heat.
What was Ace thinking? Luffy kept repeating the question in vain, because he knew the answer would probably never come.
And as the magma got bigger and more condensed, the more he realized that he never really thought about it, about Ace’s true feelings. He knew Ace always wanted to live to the fullest and that he didn’t regret anything, but was it really true? Ace could’ve lied just so Luffy didn’t feel bad, like when Ace promised he wouldn’t die and leave his little brother alone after Luffy cried out, asking him to do so.
“I have only one regret, that I couldn’t see you achieve your dream.”
Luffy flicked, as he now saw the magma took the form of a giant fist much bigger than before, lifted in the air, because he realized all this time he only focused on his own dream, never Ace’s. However, he knew Ace always got his back wherever he was. And now that Luffy came to think of it, he realized he only took it for granted. He never really thanked his brother for his endless support, and he had lost every chance he could ever get.
“But I’m sure you’ll do it.”
And yet, as the crimson fist was hurled straight, approaching him, Luffy knew Ace still had faith in him no matter how self-centered the little brother could be, like a good big brother he would’ve hoped for. Or even better. The best. Because before anyone else, it was Ace who didn’t laugh at him roaring about wanting to become the Pirate King.
“You are my brother after all.”
But Luffy couldn’t say the same for himself, as the gigantic scorching fist drew nearer, because he didn’t know if he was a good little brother. In fact, he never knew what a good little brother should be like. If it meant he should be by Ace’s side regardless of the circumstances, or at least search for him once Luffy set sail instead of only when he heard the news of the execution, then he would be a bad little brother, because he did none of them.
“Thank you for loving me.”
Then, as the magma finally hit him, burning his skin immediately, even with the remaining armament haki, Luffy came to realize that maybe he was the worst, because if only he didn’t let Ace start venturing the sea in the first place, Ace would most likely still be alive by his side.
It took a major burn on his chest for Luffy to come back to his senses, when his feet began to drag backward as the magma force came too strong. With his very last strength, the rubber man embraced the giant fist and shoved his feet to the ground, boosting his body upward, so he could divert the magma direction, avoiding the chance of his friends getting hit. This was the least he could do.
In a matter of seconds, he was thrown away in the air together with the magma fist that somehow had parted from Akainu’s arm, now aiming to the sky above. Then, as Luffy fell down fast, looking at the giant fist that started evaporating from his sight, he could see his dream fading away. He knew it would be all over the moment he hit the ground.
Even so, just like Ace did back then in his last moment, Luffy still stretched his lips wide, forming the biggest smile he could make.
“I’m sorry, everyone. This is it for me.”
See you soon, Ace.
Then icy water struck his back before enveloping him completely, freezing him to the core, and suddenly everything turned blue in his eyes, with a bit of red, probably from his bleeding chest. Of all places, he plummeted into the ocean, the very nightmare for every devil fruit user.
Water immediately drained his last bit of energy, numbing his body, dragging him deeper, and this time he wondered what his comrades would say afterwards when they found out their captain died drowning in the sea, of all ways to die.
Bubbles of air escaped from his mouth.
He would really die .
What would happen next after he died?
Before Luffy could think of anything, his vision turned blurry and darker.
Then pitch black.
-
Strange.
A minute ago Luffy felt he couldn’t breathe but now air kept coming in and out freely from his nose. And despite him feeling his clothes soaked and heavy, his body felt lighter and much warmer, only getting cold when the breeze hit his skin.
The breeze...?
He must be imagining it. There should not be any breeze under water. And it was very unlikely that he somehow ended up in Fishman Island; his body would have been shredded to pieces before ever reaching it.
“—ffy!”
This time he thought his imagination had affected his sense of hearing too, as he could hear someone calling him.
“Hey! Luffy!”
No way. The voice sounded so familiar, too familiar that it felt impossible, since he thought he would never hear it anymore, because that voice belonged to a man who had been gone long ago.
“Yo! Wake up, man!”
The voice was getting clearer and louder, and this time with a slap on his right cheek, before another landed on his left, and then several times on both. Luffy’s hand moved instinctively, catching the annoying hand from slapping him. He abruptly opened his eyes to see whoever the asshole dared to whack him.
Then he froze. Jaw dropped.
Now he was sure his mind was definitely playing with his sight as well, because what he was seeing was preposterous. That peculiar orange hat, that unbuttoned shirt showing the bare chest, those freckles under the eyes, it couldn’t be.
“Ace…?” The word almost felt foreign on Luffy’s lips, just like the teenage boy in his eyes.
The boy beside him muttered. “What? Why are you spacing out?”
“Am I dead?” Luffy bluntly asked, more to himself.
With that typical grumpy face and crossed arms, the boy answered in a lengthy nag. “Yeah, you would have if not for me, fool. How can you be a pirate when you get drowned everytime? Even still passing out after puking some water? I don’t care, Luffy, you owe me half of your dinner tonight.”
Luffy stayed quiet, eyes gawking at the other boy who later scratched the back of his head and grumbled. “Geez. Don’t give me that look. You really don’t like sharing your food, huh? Even for our last dinner?”
Baffled look still drawn on Luffy’s face as tears started forming on his eyes. If he is alive, then…
“Ace, you...” His lips shivered. “You’re alive...?”
Ace. No matter how unreal it seemed, it was really Ace, his big brother, alive and breathing, squatting down next to him, who was now raising a brow at him.
“Of course I am. Why would I— Wha…!!”
Luffy jumped and squeezed the older boy until they both dropped on the ground.
“Ace! You’re alive!” The straw hatted boy exclaimed, tears started streaming down, as he could hold his big brother in his arms. “You’re alive… You’re alive, you’re alive, you’re alive….!!!”
“What’s wrong with you?” Ace sounded confused. “You think I drowned too? You’re the one with the devil fruit power, not me.”
Luffy pulled back, this time it was him who raised a brow. “Not you? You’re not a devil fruit user?”
“Well, no? Did the water fill your brain or what?”
Now that Luffy thought about it, Ace did look a bit different. It was still Ace that he knew, but… younger than he was supposed to be. The little brother looked around, identifying his surroundings: the trees, the sea, the cliffs. The landscape looked pretty common but somehow familiar that it made him feel nostalgic, and that he recognized right away. He was back to his hometown where he was born and raised, and this was definitely the coast of Mount Colubo, where Ace finally set sail to become a pirate back then. But Ace was still here with him so he was not a pirate yet, and that explained why Fire Fist still hadn’t existed.
“Even for our last dinner?”
Luffy flinched as he remembered what his brother said before. “Ace, how old are you?”
The older boy threw a brief puzzled look before smirking dismissively. “What’s this? You suddenly forgot my age too? Is this some kind of trick so I won’t leave tomorrow? How cute.”
A short silence occurred. “Tomorrow…?”
“Yeah, tomorrow. I told you, didn’t I? Now get off, dumbass.”
Tomorrow.
Luffy’s heart started pounding crazily fast like some sort of panic, as that one word was enough to answer his question in a somewhat both direct and indirect way. He could catch that Ace was already seventeen whilst he was fourteen, but then his thought process bluntly skipped the big question of how he could get back to the past, or why he was sent back to almost a decade ago, and jumped straight to the fact that he only had one day left before Ace started his adventure. Before they parted, then shortly reunited three years later in Alabasta, then met again in Marineford and that would be the last time he saw him.
So when Ace got up on his feet, saying something about preparing the boat for his voyage, Luffy, almost reflexively, fumblingly, grabbed his brother’s hand and shouted. “No!”
Ace tilted his head. “No? You don’t want to help me get some supplies? That’s odd. You were excited just this morning.”
The younger boy shook his head. “I mean don’t go! Don’t leave the town! Just stay here!”
A laugh was heard from the other boy, followed by a hand patting the straw hat. “Is my little brother worried about me? I didn’t know you have this soft side, Luffy.”
The cheeky grin on Ace’s face quickly disappeared as Luffy shoved his hand aside and yelled. “I’m serious, Ace! Don’t go out there! It’s— It’s dangerous!”
Ace winced, giving a perplexed look. “What are you talking about? I thought we made it clear that we’re going to set out to sea to live the way we want to. Of course it’s gonna be dangerous.”
“But.. But you— I— you will—” Luffy still wanted to protest but couldn’t find the right words. He definitely didn’t want to spoil the fact that in some years Ace would be captured, imprisoned, tortured, anything but lived.
However, Ace sure couldn’t get what his little brother meant, so he just shrugged. “Come on, Luffy. Don’t be such a crybaby. Let’s go.”
Ace started stomping away, increasing the pulse on Luffy’s neck.
“No, Ace! You can’t go! You— you—” he still couldn’t finish the sentence, leaving him spurting some incoherent words instead. And the older boy didn’t respond or halt his steps no matter how many times Luffy rambled.
A wave of acid started welling up Luffy’s stomach, urging him to say the word he’d been trying to hold.
“Don’t go, Ace!! You’ll die!!!”
It finally caught Ace’s attention, who stopped his movement and turned his body. “What did you say?”
This time Luffy didn’t even try to conceal it as tears started bursting messily. “You’ll die, Ace! If you go, you’ll die!!”
Maybe panic was written visibly on Luffy’s face that Ace didn’t respond right away. Then the older boy folded his arms on the chest, throwing an unimpressed look. “Really? Luffy? Is that it? Since when pirates are afraid of death? We’ll meet enemies almost everyday, death is not something strange anymore. This is common sense and you should know better. If you want to change our mind, aren’t you seven years too late?” He scoffed, waving his hand dismissively. “Stop your nonsense, Luffy. You’re acting weird.”
Ace continued his trail up to the forest, ignoring the consistent wail from his brother.
“Ace! Wait! Don’t— You’ll die, Ace!!” Luffy still tried, though, to no avail, because Ace really didn’t show a sign of stopping at all.
And maybe the anxiety had crawled up to the rubber boy’s mind, that he didn’t think carefully of what he said next, and it was too late to stop it.
“Look at what happened to Sabo right after he set sail!! He—”
The rest of the words were swallowed back, as a fist squarely met Luffy’s jaw, hard enough to make him jerk and fall back to the ground.
A moment of silence passed, before Luffy slowly raised his upper body, groaning, his hand immediately went to his jaw.
On the opposite, Ace didn’t hide his dark gaze towards his brother, both hands clenched on either side.
“Don’t you dare dishonor Sabo’s death! Of all people, you should know how much he wanted freedom that he forced himself to go way earlier than he’s supposed to! And you had the guts to put shame on it?! How could you do that to our brother!! You—”
The taller boy paused, looking like he wanted to say something more but after a few seconds, he decided to let out a long sigh instead. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you so I’ll just assume you are still shocked after getting drowned.”
There was a pause again, as he stared at his brother in some unreadable look, before turning around. “If you don’t want to help, that’s fine. I can do it myself. Just go home, Luffy.”
Luffy didn’t say anything back, because he knew Ace was really angry from the way he didn’t hold back when he threw that punch, and the stink-eye he just got only topped it off. So he just lowered his head while looking at the orange hatted boy walk away, finding his way between the trees, then disappearing under the shadows.
Just like that, Ace left the place, leaving his young brother alone at the shore.
Although he didn’t intend to obey what Ace told him to do, Luffy still ended up cooping in a shack made of a bunch of scrap woods, some place he used to call ‘Luffy’s Country’ or so as written on a blue plate above, his home.
Aside from being sentimental over the shelter, Luffy felt his thoughts and emotions piling up into several waves. His jaw was still aching and the bruise had created a mound on his skin, yet he felt bad about it. This would take a while to heal and until it did, he had to remember that he had crossed the line, disgracing his brother Sabo all the more. Worse was, Ace couldn’t possibly know that Sabo actually survived, still alive somewhere albeit without his memory, and Luffy didn’t know if he needed to tell Ace. It would only complicate matters more.
But then another wave came, as Luffy got back to the questions he abandoned before: How did he get back here? And why this timeline? Thinking might not be his strong point but he was not stupid. Jumping to the past was something beyond probability, even in a world full of devil fruit users. He first thought that this could be a dream but the swell on his jaw felt too real that it was still sore. Then his thought arrived at the possibility that he was under some spell or something, but he was supposed to drown alone in the sea.
Am I dead?
The next wave was if he was actually dead, and all of this was an after life situation. Alas, he was not religious enough to determine if this was heaven or hell, since this felt like neither pleasure nor punishment. That was except Ace’s solid punch counted as a punishment, which in a way it really was for him. And it led to some other feelings flooding his chest.
Later Luffy realized it was guilt, as he felt stifled when he saw Ace appearing on his hut doorway unannounced. And it became harder to breathe when his older brother only told him to come with him to Dandan’s Country since the bare-chested boy already caught a huge boar on his way back. Though Ace didn’t need any help, he never went hunting alone. He always brought Luffy along, tracking some big wild animals, then alternately did the killing. Yet he didn’t take Luffy this time, for an obvious reason that Luffy still hadn’t figured how to solve.
Even with the thick rubber-made belly, the straw hatted boy didn’t feel like eating much and lost his appetite, since he noticed Ace acted like nothing happened in front of everyone. The tide finally reached its peak when Ace still didn’t once mention anything about what his little brother said this afternoon, even until they were back in front of their respective hut. Luffy, however, couldn’t hold it anymore.
“Ace, I—”
“Have you cooled your head?” Ace cut in without turning around, as if already knowing what his brother wanted to say.
Luffy only nodded in return, lips curved down.
The big brother huffed. “Good. I don’t want to have an unnecessary quarrel with you, especially around this time.” He then walked to enter his hut, followed by Luffy to his own, before the former stopped and turned his head. “Luffy?”
The said name glanced. “Hng?”
Ace only gave a straight stare at first, without any words, making his brother blink in question several times, before the older teen finally opened his mouth. “Go get some sleep. You’ll need it.”
“Huh?” Luffy muttered, but Ace didn’t answer and just went inside the neat scaffolding. Still baffled, Luffy only gave another look before he himself entered his own shanty.
Luffy always could sleep easily anywhere, anytime, to the point of being annoyingly narcoleptic, even without Ace needing to tell him to. Yet this time he found himself flipping his body left and right continuously, trying to find the comfortable position to sleep, as every time he shut his eyes, an image of Ace dying in his arms kept appearing. In the end, he lied on his back, facing up to the ceiling, once again letting himself sink in his own whirl of thoughts.
Tomorrow.
He now only had several hours before the sun rose, ringing the alarm of Ace’s departure. He hated the fact that he knew what would happen afterwards if he let him go. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to stop his brother too, not after what he stupidly blabbered about this afternoon. He considered himself lucky because Ace didn’t prolong it and just let it slide. Now he started to think if he should really let everything happen like it was supposed to. Maybe he really couldn’t do anything about it.
“Give it up, Straw Hat.”
Luffy clenched his palms, grasping the soil underneath. If he let this thing happen it also meant he let the havoc a decade later take place. That he let his friends suffer a great pain and this time, he could die for real. Screw that. Whether this was a dream, an afterlife or whatnot, if he ended up stuck here forever then so be it. This could be another opportunity to start all over again. He knew what would happen so he certainly had the advantage.
As simple minded as he always was, without really solving what he’d been contemplating, the rubber boy decided to use this impromptu chance to make things right, as he thought maybe this time, he could save Ace and change the future.
Eventually, as he had set his mind, the young boy fell asleep.
It needed one hard jab on the head for Luffy to wake up. Maybe not one, sometimes it needed three or four just like this time. Having up to four bumps on his head, the boy reluctantly got up to see a huge figure who definitely hit him. It was Dandan, still clasping a cigarette between her lips, yapping about why Luffy was still sleeping when Ace already left.
Ace already left.
He jumped to his feet, stretching his rubber hands and pulled the woman’s head closer to his own.
“Ace?? Where’s Ace??”
There was an obvious frantic tone in his voice as much as what was drawn on his face, while Dandan looked surprised by his sudden move, but still managed to mumble.
“That brat had gone to the shore an hour ago. He tried to wake you up but gave up immediately, saying that you probably needed more rest. He also said—”
Luffy had heard enough and instantly dashed to the forest, with a very little hope that he could catch Ace up somehow.
“Ace!! Wait!! Don’t leave yet!!”
The little brother screamed loudly before he foolishly tripped down and fell flat on his face. Groaning on his own stupidity, he didn’t realize he plummeted his forehead just inches away from someone’s feet.
“Luffy? Where are you going?”
Luffy lifted his head at once. “Ace?? You’re still here??”
“I am.” Ace shrugged. “I just went to the boat to grab some equipment for our next hunt. I told Dandan to tell you though.”
So that was what she was about to say, Luffy thought, getting up on his feet. He once again looked at his big brother, preparing himself to hear what he might not want to hear and carefully asked.
“You’re not leaving...?”
Another unreadable look was shown before it turned into teasing. “How can I leave when my brother begged me in tears?”
The shorter one stuttered. “You— you mean…?”
Ace tugged a half smile. “Yeah, I decided to stay a bit longer.”
Luffy’s rounded eyes glimmered as he held both Ace’s shoulders. “Are you serious? You’re not joking, right?”
“Of course not.” The big brother tapped the straw hat, grinning wide. “I can see you have energized, bet you had more than enough sleep. Shall we go hunting now? I heard there’s a bear king near— Hey! Luffy!”
The younger boy had started running off at an incredible speed, declaring. “It’s a race then! The loser gets to give half of his share!”
Luffy kept on running, ignoring his brother’s shout from behind.
It didn’t take long for them to meet the said bear king, twice bigger than the one that attacked Luffy seven years ago. But this time he didn’t need Ace’s hand to knock it out. Feeling he had the upper hand, the boy didn’t pay attention when the bear suddenly woke up and stood, ready to pounce from behind, and it was Ace who finished it off.
Couldn’t accept his trophy getting snatched, Luffy then asked for a rematch: a duel between them, just like old times—for Luffy at least. Although Ace didn’t intend to claim the victory in the first place, he still took the challenge. Luffy might not have all the power and abilities like he was supposed to already have, but he still had all the memories, experiences from various battles for years, so it was enough to corner the unbeatable brother, though he still lost in the end.
Nevertheless, Luffy still felt blissful. He couldn’t lie, he missed all of this routine with Ace. All the spars to get stronger, the small fights over who actually won, the feast from their own haul in the forest. Days went by in a flash and by this time, Luffy knew the flood of emotions that filled his mind before had subsided, replaced by some air of relief. That he finally had the chance to make a change.
Yet he still could smell it, the remnants of guilt lingering around, as he found his big brother spacing out during their hunt. At first Luffy didn’t put much thought into it, but it happened more than once. Sometimes it happened during their meal time, their mundane conversations, their spar, and now that he noticed it, Ace only kept gazing to one direction: the ocean. As if the older brother was longing for something out there.
Luffy didn’t want to admit it. He hated it, even, that he knew exactly what Ace had in mind. He tried to shake it off, refusing himself to get carried by the same feelings that should have gone. Little did he know, the feelings were actually pulled back, creating another tidal wave much higher than before.
And it finally hit him hard later at night.
It happened on the end of the fourth day since Luffy woke up in his fourteen-year-old self. He was about to sleep, thinking about what they would do tomorrow. The night was so quiet that he could clearly hear the grass crackling like someone was walking from the side of where Ace’s Country should be, going further to the forest. It was Ace definitely, probably taking a piss. However, for some reason Luffy couldn’t relax and his worry grew as it took longer than usual. He then decided to go outside and just as he expected, the well-made shelter next to his was empty. Without any further thinking, he went straight to the place where Ace might be.
The night breeze went stronger, freezing his already cold hands, as Luffy found the boy in question was sitting idly on the ground with crossed legs, right on the cliff where an oath was made a long time ago.
“When we turn seventeen, we set sail! We’re gonna be pirates!”
Luffy closed his eyes once, before approaching his brother, whose head was locked on the vast sea ahead. Ace only turned when he realized the straw hatted boy sat down next to him, facing the same sea.
“Luffy? What are you doing here?” he asked.
“No, Ace,” Luffy muttered. “What are you doing here?”
The other boy paused, then looked away. “Just enjoying the view.”
“In the middle of the night?”
“Yeah…” Ace sounded lost while looking back at the sea. “I just realized the sea at night feels different. It looks scary, dark, full of mystery but also wonderful and luring at the same time. Makes you wanna go deeper, further, guessing what you will find when the sun rises, something like that, y’know? It’s kinda exciting.” He was quiet for a few seconds then let out a small uncomfortable laugh. “I’m talking nonsense, aren’t I?”
Luffy didn’t say anything, as something pressed his chest, once again suffocating his lungs. To ask or not to ask. And he chose to open his mouth.
“Do you—” He inhaled. “Do you still wanna go out there, Ace?”
Ace took some time before answering. “I would be lying if I said no.”
The squeeze on Luffy’s heart tightened. He shouldn’t be surprised as he already got the gist of it, from Ace’s strange behavior, and he had known Ace for years to know his big brother would never give up on his dream no matter what. Yet, he couldn’t breathe.
“Then why are you still here? You could’ve left four days ago.” Luffy flicked. “Is it… because of me?”
The other boy twirled his lips and released them. “More or less. Not blaming you though.” He then glanced at his little brother who lowered his head. “Honestly, Luffy, I’ve been thinking. I was surprised when you told me I would die, even asked me to stay. I thought you were just being whiny and all, but your eyes looked… desperate. So, compared to a whim, it sounded more like a warning, as if you had witnessed something terrible. Why is that, Luffy? Did something bother you or did I just imagine it?”
There was an utter silence, which kept stretching longer and longer, as Luffy actually considered a frank reply in his mind: Because I really witnessed you dying before my eyes. He also considered telling all the stuff that happened, mostly about both becoming pirates in their own way, making some friends, travelling the world, and having their names skyrocketing only to get themselves blown up in the end. He couldn’t voice it, however, and instead said something that was, in a way, similar.
“When I drowned, I had a bad dream,” Luffy murmured, “about you… being dead years later. It was terrifying.”
He didn’t hear any response from his older brother for a moment, almost thinking that he should come up with something else instead.
“I see,” Ace said in a low voice. “Can I know how I died in your dream?”
Luffy held his breath, as he remembered vividly what happened on that day. “Someone with magma power melted your back,” he paused, “to your chest.”
“That sounds… horrible.” Ace let the wind fill the gap before he commented more. “It’s weird though, I don’t think I would ever let my back open for an attack like that.”
A huge slap to the face, pushing Luffy to change his sitting position into hugging his knees, burying his face on them.
“You’re right.” The young brother muttered, in an almost inaudible voice. “You— I—” he gulped, then took a breath, finding it hard to put in words. “The attack was supposed to hit me. But I wasn’t looking, so… you jumped in and… you…” he didn’t finish it, leaving his big brother to figure it out himself.
Another moment of silence took place, and this time Luffy thought his brother was mad. But then a burst of laughter broke, shocking the straw hatted boy, because it came from no other than Ace.
“Ace?”
“Sorry, sorry. I know I shouldn’t laugh but I can’t help it.” The older boy let out another short laugh. “I mean I thought I died because my skill had dulled or I became stupid or something. I’m so relieved it’s because I saved you.”
Luffy’s mouth gaped wide, dazed. “Relieved...?”
“Well, yeah?” Ace shrugged airily. “I can’t think of any better way to die.”
“But you died, Ace . ” The little brother restated the word in a more pressing tone. “You’ll lose everything.”
“And everything would be meaningless if I lose you, Luffy,” Ace declared with a finality in his tone, leaving no space for his brother to counter.
Luffy couldn’t answer anyway. Despite not knowing what to say, he knew saying more would only create another petty quarrel. So he only lowered his gaze, protesting in silence, without noticing Ace who had been secretly observing him. Then the older teen moved, squatting down in front of his little brother.
“Luffy, let me tell you something. If dying was inevitable in order for you to live, I would accept it right away.”
That caught Luffy, making him lift his head a little, enough to see Ace smiling warmly.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being suicidal or something, I still want to live, of course.” The orange hatted boy clarified. “My point is, saving you is worth dying for. I’m sure Sabo would say the same, because you are our precious little brother.”
The other boy didn’t have a comeback for this either, but this time he thought of something else. One of the reasons he felt shitty about Ace’s death was because they didn’t get to meet that often after they made their own ways, at least to catch up or have a casual talk. He thought maybe this time he could make things easier.
“Then can I go with you?” Excitement engulfed his voice as he suddenly raised his head high. “We can travel the world together! And try all the food! And we can find new friends along the way! Be the best and most invincible pirates!” And I can watch your back this time, he silently added.
The zest didn’t pass along to the older brother though, as a mystified look colored his face instead.
“Are you sure?” Ace asked. “Don’t you want to have your own crew?”
Oh…
Luffy’s shoulders dropped. It was purely a question with a bit of doubting tone, but without any ill surmise or rejection in it. Yet, Luffy found himself pondering, back to when he first set out the sea on a rowboat. He was sailing alone by himself, then one by one he found a comrade, adding one crew after another from various places. Having ups and downs, getting through all kinds of problems together. Even two years after Ace died, none of them ran away, all came back to their ship and continued their voyage, chasing their dreams.
He just realized he was too preoccupied with Ace and hadn’t thought about his friends, especially whether they came into this timeline like him. Regardless, they would definitely be in their own place at the moment. And there was a possibility that picking them up could be a mistake. If he didn’t, they would be free from the torments he would cause in the future.
“It’s an honor, Captain.”
“I…” Luffy finally made a voice, “I can manage that.”
“Is that so?” Ace asked again, still with the same tone. “Then, why are you crying?”
Luffy startled, as he now noticed his cheeks were already wet, and water kept streaming down from his eyes. He had no reason for crying as he should’ve known this was for the best for everyone. He might not meet his friends, other people might help them in his place. Heart Pirates might not need the alliance for beating the yonko. So he shouldn’t feel crappy about his decision.
“This is— It’s fine. I’m just thrilled.” He said in denial, mostly to himself.
Ace’s gaze didn’t waver, showing that he didn’t buy it at all. Then he released a long sigh, one hand on his brother’s shoulder.
“Listen, Luffy. We promised to live the way we want to, with more freedom than anyone, and with no regrets. You never really say it but I know your kind of freedom is not setting sail with me, it’s making your own journey with your friends, to become the Pirate King. And I know going against all of that will be your biggest regret.” His hand moved to the top of the straw hat, lips pulling a smile. “You don't have to worry about me, dumbass. Just focus on your dream and get stronger.”
The young one groused. “But we may not meet again…”
“Yes. And we’ll still be brothers nonetheless.”
Luffy turned silent, looking at the somewhat cheerful teen, as a realization came to his mind. That no matter how much he wanted to prevent it, people would die in the end. But bonds would last forever. He should’ve known this better, when Jinbe tried to knock his senses after Ace’s death.
“What is there that still remains to you?!”
Then the tears suddenly bursted out, as he started bawling shamelessly, leaving his brother frantically confused.
“Hey, hey, hey!! Why are you crying harder??”
Ignoring the question, Luffy sprang to cling on Ace, who then sat down on the ground.
“What the hell?? Stop jumping at me!!”
“Thank— thank you, Ace…!!” The little boy sobbed. “You— you’re the best brother ever… with Sabo of course… and you— you…”
“What’s this, idiot? This isn’t like you! It’s embarrassing!”
Ace tried to push his young brother away, but Luffy clenched his grip tighter.
“Ace, you too have your own freedom… I don’t— I don’t want to get in your way…”
“What are you talking about? You being a crybaby like this is what concerns me, even Sabo asked me to look after you.” Ace sighed, his hand started rubbing his brother’s black hair that was exposed after the straw hat was pulled to the back when he jumped over him. “But I guess I don’t need to worry about that anymore, since you’ll find your own friends.”
“My friends…” Luffy mumbled on his brother’s chest, as he remembered all the time he had with all of his friends, until the moment he took a last glance before he was tossed away to the sky, leaving him wondering if they were all still alive. “I need to go get my friends…” he mumbled again.
Ace chuckled. “Sure, go and get them when the time has come. Be nice and don’t bother them too much, kay?”
Luffy snorted, muffled. “I will….”
There were several seconds without any words, just some sniffles and soft gasps. It was Ace who broke the silence first, somehow with a very careful tone.
“Then, Luffy? Can I go now?”
Luffy took a sharp breath as his lips began to tremble. He could feel his heart start racing, sending his nerves all the signals to say no. To reject all the reality that could never be changed. To save Ace.
However, just as much as he wanted to do so, he couldn't deny the good things that happened afterwards. How he met new comrades and allies, how he could still help other people, how his friends still stayed by his side even after years following his selfish wants.
“Luffy?” Ace sounded concerned, pulling his brother back to present.
As Luffy’s clutch on Ace’s shirt tightened, as Luffy buried his face deeper, he slowly nodded, against his own sniffles.
“Yes…” his voice shook. “You can go, Ace…”
A sigh blew from above his head, together with the hand stroking his hair, and he could hear Ace murmur.
“You’re indeed troublesome, you know that?” Ace let out another sigh. “But I’m glad you’re my brother, Luffy.”
Just then, Luffy’s eyes suddenly felt heavier. Perhaps crying all night had finally shown the effects. And maybe that was what made Luffy feel warm. Maybe the ray of sun that reached his hands played a part too, but he knew mostly because he felt at ease, that he didn’t mind about what was going to happen next.
And as he finally closed his eyes, letting himself sink in his brother’s embrace, Luffy knew, that he would not regret any of it.
-
The warmth suddenly turned hot, even too scorching on his skin, so Luffy needed to open his eyes to check what the hell was happening. His sight blurred and what he saw was surprisingly blinding that he decided to close his eyes once more before opening them again. This time a shadow appeared, blocking the bright light which he realized was from the sun.
“Straw Hat-ya? Can you hear me?” A voice heard from the shadow that became clearer.
It wasn’t clear enough but Luffy still recognized it. “Torao...?”
Trafalgar Law. His ally, his friend. The one he last held before he received that magmatic blow. The man was alive.
He was alive. Luffy repeated it again in his mind, as he could hear many people wandering back and forth around. He almost thought this was another dream until Law suddenly said, as if he could guess what was on the rubber man’s mind, “It’s that old man Rayleigh. He came at the very last moment with many reinforcements, thanks to your connections.”
That explained the sudden explosions Luffy heard that time. And now as he remembered, he felt stings all over his body, like he was stabbed by some needles. Hot and burning needles, to be precise. As if all the pain he underwent from that magma bastard somehow went back to him.
As he still couldn’t comprehend what was going on, he only expressed what he was feeling. “I can’t move.”
The other man grunted, exclaiming that Luffy was indeed not supposed to be able to move at all, even speak, and that he was lucky Marco spotted him falling down, so the phoenix man could get someone to pull him out from the sea and got him treated immediately.
“Sorry, my stamina hasn’t come back. This is the best I can do,” the man added. “Everyone was worried though, because you fell on that particular sea.”
Without being asked, Law then explained some more details about the sea which was called Paradise of the Sea. Some people said it was cursed by some wicked witch, others suspected it was due to a failed project from extracting a devil fruit, that the litter resulting from the experiment was dumped into the sea. Either way, anyone who drowned there would have a dream about what they wanted to change the most in the past, giving another chance to live the way they wanted to without any worries. And that the victims could not tell whether it was a dream since their senses would be manipulated as well.
“Ironically, since we can’t change the past in reality, if you follow your ego to alter anything that has happened here, you probably will never get out of that dream and lose your life for good.”
Luffy held his breath at that part. Not because he almost got himself stuck on that dream forever, but at the fact that Ace was the one who made him realize he should live on no matter what happened. In other words, Ace saved him. Again.
“Go and get them when the time has come.”
“My crew... How are they?” Luffy asked.
“They were in critical conditions and still unconscious, but they survived, don’t worry.” Law shortly answered. “Now you only need— Hey, idiot! What the fuck are you doing!”
Realizing his friends and crewmates were another reason he could come back, Luffy struggled, miraculously moved his body. But he didn’t have enough strength, so he fell forward immediately. And he would’ve smacked his face on the ground if not for Law who quickly caught him from the front.
“Are you stupid?!” Law barked, and was about to scold him some more if he didn’t notice the straw hatted man started crying within his arms.
“I met Ace…” He weeped, “I left him for my friends… I need to see my friends…”
Understanding what Luffy meant, Law let out a long sigh. “You’re a real pain in the ass.”
The tattooed man then agreed to bring Luffy to his friends under three conditions: One, listen to whatever the doctor said. Two, no complaining. And three, after they finished he would rest no matter what. Luffy nodded to each one of those before he was carried on a piggyback and they started walking.
The distance turned out to be further than Luffy expected but eventually, they arrived at the site. All of Straw Hats crew were lying down in parallel lines, full of bandages, just like their captain—though their injuries were not as severe. And most importantly, they were all breathing.
“Your crew are amazing,” Law suddenly uttered. “I heard they were conscious once in a while and each asked about your condition, despite being injured themselves.”
Luffy pondered, as he remembered Ace once met his friends in Alabasta, asking them to take care of Luffy well. It had been years and they still did it even without Ace being here.
“Be nice and don’t bother them too much, kay?”
Luffy then pulled a big smile on his face. “Yeah, they are.”
As agreed before, after Luffy spent some time cherishing his crew more, quietly being grateful for having such friends, he was brought to the emergency tent to get a proper rest.
On the way, as Luffy now felt really tired, he secretly took a look at the man carrying him. He could tell Law was visibly exhausted, which was an obvious result, because Law chose to walk by foot that took several minutes when they could arrive in seconds if this Ope Ope no Mi user used his teleportation skill. So the rubber man plainly asked, but only got a grumble in return, reminding him about the second condition: no complaining.
Luffy dipped his chin deeper on the man’s shoulder, pouting. That was until he remembered what Law said before: “Sorry, my stamina hasn’t come back.” Then he embraced the man tighter.
Law probably noticed it, since he started to talk. “You said you met Ace, what did happen there? Not that I care though.”
Surprised Law asked such a question, Luffy almost winced, but he found himself smiling, as he started to recall those four days he was there. He told Law about how happy he was when he saw Ace. He told Law about the quarrel then Ace’s sudden change of attitude, the fun, the nostalgic feeling, including the emotional night when Luffy finally accepted everything as well as Ace’s death and got back to reality.
“He let you go? Just like that? Wasn’t he supposed to make you stay in there?”
Law referred to the rumour of all people in that dream were said to lure the victims and created such a pleasing world which encouraged the victims to stay. Luffy knew that, but he too had no idea what made Ace different, so he just said, “I don’t know.”
The other captain muttered, “I wonder what your brother was thinking, and why he did that at last.”
What was Ace thinking? Luffy once wanted to ask this to Ace, regarding that dramatic save in the Marineford, but didn’t do it in the end. Maybe he didn’t because he forgot about it once he met the person. Or maybe he was too caught up by preventing Ace from sailing. But maybe, and most likely, it was because all this time he knew, that the answer was always there.
Luffy chuckled, slowly letting himself asleep on the man’s shoulder.
“Cause we are brothers.”